No Abuse Like Snow Abuse!

The world of Equestria is alive with color. The composition of the land was not merely a muted brown one would envision for the soil was fresh and abundant with life and moved freely with even the slightest of movement. Above it was the grass, gorgeous green blades that rose to the sun as though they were worshipping it’s golden beauty. And sharing the sight of the sun was the sky that stretched across a void, ever changing in its nature from shades of purple that pronounced the presence of a day’s work come to end and a night of dreams to welcome those who slept or the blue which gave ponies hope that the next day that they have will be one to enjoy. And such a tragedy it is to be robbed of these serene surroundings.

Yeah, being blind is kinda a huge downer. Although, it’s not like a blind pony is totally incapable of doing things that most other ponies can. A blind pony can succeed in life, she can be a scientist, a philosopher, or even a fantastic shuffleboard champion. We’re still waiting on one to show up though. But it’s generally agreed that blind ponies shouldn’t be put on guard duty. Unfortunately, Princess Luna’s foolish optimism did not anticipate the consequences of this.

Such a scene setting set of paragraphs was warranted as the filly Snowdrop found herself next to a set of large doors in front of the two royal princesses, Princess Luna and Princess Celestia.

“Snowdrop.” Said Princess Luna, or rather she shouted so loud that the little filly’s mane wafted in the wind, as was the Canterlot way. “I believe you are destined for greatness, and that you are still a capable pony despite your infliction. As such, I have made the decision that you be placed as a royal guard for my sister’s castle.”

Snowdrop was hesitant, though her smile and large and expressive eyes conveyed her gratitude more than words could have. “Thank you so much princess. I promise to do the best I can!” She said to the left of her, which would’ve been great except for the fact that the princesses were standing in front of her.

Regardless, they turned her head so that she faced the princesses and acknowledged her thanks with a royal pat on the head. Combined with a cordial “I know you will.” And with that she bestowed upon her subject her tailor made guard helmet (It was actually too big for Snowdrop and didn’t feature an eye slit. This is no surprise seeing as the tailor actually just took the handle off of a tin bucket and said it was made especially for a blind guard with a kind soul. Easiest two hundred bits made in history.) and they armed her with a royal spear which she held with both of her hooves, although then she struggled to just stay upright as both these items were about half her weight.

With a final bow, which Snowdrop couldn’t reciprocate on the count that she had no idea she was being bowed to, the princesses walked away to convene on matters of royal importance.

“Dear sister, I must restate my qualms about this.” Said Celestia

“I understand but please allow your frets to drift away. I am sure that Snowdrop will serve you well.”

“Very well. But if this turns out like the peanut butter experiment I am sending you to the moon.”

Luna laughed at this matter. “Oh sister, you say that much too often than you should.”

Luna was the most wrong she could ever be, especially given that Snowdrop was on guard duty. Children are easily bored and guard duty is, without a doubt, the most boring profession in the world. Oh sure, she kept up appearances for a while after the princesses left, but the weight of the spear was too much so she left it against the wall. And not to mention but the ‘helmet’ she had stunk like something best left unmentioned and it was like a sauna even in the relatively cool weather. Not that Snowdrop knew what a sauna was . . . at least as far as anypony is concerned.

Hours went on and with nary a danger in sigh- er, nearby. Luckily this wasn’t much of a problem, because even if a devilish foe could sneak by her, the doors would inevitably make a sound and be a dead giveaway to let Snowdrop know to unleash a furious lunge at the would-be intruder. Although considering she’s still a filly there’s not much she could do but gnaw on the shins of her enemy. So time continued to pass and Snowdrop stayed as attentive as should could, silently playing games alone such as tic-tac-hoof.

Just as she was about to score a three-part diagonal win, which in reality looked very obscene drawing in dust upon the the road, she heard in the distance and closing in the sounds of careful hooves clicking and clacking upon the paved way. She fetched the spear off of the wall and braced it against her back with the aid of her wing.

When she was confident the intruder was nearly within reach she called out to whomever it may be. “Wait! In the name of the Royal Princesses . . . um. . . Who are you?”

The steps ceased yet she heard no answer.

“State your name and business!” She said, continued with the thought of whatever that means.
No answer.

“Please tell me who you are?”

She could faintly hear the steps of a pony creeping in closer, and so she pointed the spear in the general direction of this possible assassin. Braced to attack, she heard a loud clanging of something heavy and metal hitting the ground under decent weight. This foe must be armored! Well, Snowdrop thought, this is her only chance to prove herself! So she jumped at the distinct clanging that continued and wailed upon the assailant with the spear, smacking it relentlessly into unconsciousness. Evidently she didn’t get the point of her weapon.

As she laid into this enemy, another one appeared. Luckily she was saved from a sneak attack for she only knew the co-conspirator was present from the sound of the grand doors opening! Naturally she was left with the reasonable belief that Canterlot was under siege! She wasn’t trained to deal with a situation like this! Although that’s not a big surprise, the only training she got was a little pamphlet about proper procedures that they expected her to read. Naturally she was no where near close to reading the pamphlet, after all, she was a kid.

Untrained, caught by surprise, and left in the midst of what is surely a war, Snowdrop knew exactly what to do. This was her last stand, and she would fight with her last dying breath against those who wish to do evil to Canterlot or the princesses. So she began spinning around waving the spear around wildly, just like a professional guard would.

The princesses returned after several hours to check up on how the littlest guard in Equestria was faring. However once they arrived in front of the royal gates they saw that Snowdrop was spinning around like a dork next to a knocked down metal garbage can. While this concerned the two of them, Celestia saw something of a more grave importance.

“The gates are opened!” With that Celestia hurried inside the castle, accompanied by her guards leaving little Snowdrop and her sister Luna outside.

Luna lifted the spear away from Snowdrop with her magic and spoke in a more soothing, more calm, less royal tone. “Snowdrop, are you alright? You seem distressed.”

“Princess Luna! We must get you and Princess Celestia to safety, you’re in danger! Canterlot is under siege! I managed to take down one of the armored villains, but who knows how many more there are!” Snowdrop was out of breath and dizzy after spinning around for hours on end, but remained on her feet in front of one of the royal princesses.

For some reason these words that were detached from reality made Luna think back to that thing under her pillow in her bedroom, but she dismissed this quickly. “Snowdrop, you seem to be mistaken. Everything is still peaceful. Except that I believe you knocked over this rubbish bin.”

“But I heard a pony coming up to the doors, then I heard a loud crashing, and the door opened when I was beating the armored pony and . . . I messed up, huh?”

Luna smiled and removed the bucket off of Snowdrop’s head and gave her a royal head pat. “It is fine dear child, for everypony makes mistakes.”

On that note, everypony in Equestria felt a disturbance that arched throughout their world. This source of this became present when the very flush red Alicorn who was on the brink of literally burning with intense fury showed up just outside the doors. And the only words that this being of hatred spoke were “You’re fired, Snowdrop!” And though she remained absolutely livid, Princess Celestia began to take deep breaths and gradually regained her composure and natural color.

“Sister, I understand you feel” Princess Luna would’ve continued but Celestia was having none of it.

“No. She had one job. She literally had just one job, and she blew it. And because of that, a vile fiend broke into my castle and took what was my most precious material possession.

“The elements of harmony?”

“More precious than those.”

“That thing we keep in that place?”

“What I lost was more dear than that.”

“Oh my! Sister, what did they take?”

“They ate my cake.”

Snowdrop was confused as to why such an insignificant thing was considered so important. Although if she wasn’t blind she would see Princess Luna’s eyes open as far as her skull would allow and that she was backing away slowly. Luna knew that stuff just got real. This may be the beginning of the very first genocide Equestria shall experience.

“I’m sorry Princess.” Said Snowdrop, lowering her head and accepting responsibility for her actions.

“I know you are. But apologies are not going to bring my cake back!”

Silence resounded throughout the nearby grounds of Canterlot as Celestia looked sternly upon the little pegasus. Little Snowdrop didn’t need to be able to see to know that she really screwed up this time.

“Princess Celestia, I’m sorry this happened. I want to make it up to you.”

“How in the world are you ever going to make it up to me? Not even a crumb was left!”

After little deliberation, Snowdrop came to a decision. “How about I make you another cake? I know it won’t be the same, but it’s the least I could do.”

Celestia was honestly stunned at this. The gesture was nice, and while the prospective new cake could never possibly be as good as her dearly beloved one, it’ll have to do.”Very well, Snowdrop. Go on home, and when you return I expect to see my new cake.”

Snowdrop bowed, accepting this new mission from the Princess, and scampered off back home.

“Sister, that was awfully kind of you. For a moment I thought you were about to sentence her to the dungeons.” Luna confided to her sister.

“I told you this was a bad idea, Luna. I’m sending you to the moon.”

Luna let out a joyful chuckle at this remark and spoke once she caught her breath “Oh sister, your jokes are too much.”

And so the day went on as per usual, minus the regularly scheduled cake eating time of Celestia. However Celestia received her new cake from Snowdrop the day after which coincides with the same day that an assassination attempt by violent poisoning resulting in dysentery, halitosis, and salmonella was reported. It was officially reported that these incidents were not related.