Draconicus Incognito

by zztfox

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Random, Discord, Main 6
Length: 6249

Can Discord fill another certain Purple Alicorn's Horse Shoes for a Day?

Twilight Sparkle has come down with the Feather Flu a day before The Trader Exchange at Rainbow Falls, which always requires a princess to attend to oversee the trading.

With Celestia, Luna, and Cadance having to attend to business in the Crystal Empire the day of the Exchange, their options are stretched rather thin.

That is unless a reformed chaotic god can fill Princess Twilight's position...

Published 2014-04-24 15:00:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-24 15:00:03 UTC

~CHAPTER ONE: Princess for a Day~

"I am grateful for your promptness, Bearers of the Elements"

*cough*

"...And you too, Discord."

Celestia's royal demeanor wrung through the Great Hall of Canterlot Castle, currently being occupied by herself and her sister, a draconicus, and five of the Bearers of Harmony. There was a noticeable absence of the sixth Bearer of the Elements, a certain young, purple Alicorn and her small dragon assistant.

"As you are all aware, Princess Twilight Sparkle is currently fighting the Feather Flu, with Spike making sure she is attended to," Continued Celestia" And with the Trader's Exchange at Rainbow Falls tomorrow, it leaves us in quite a bind"

Luna picked up where her sister left off "For you see, it is tradition that a princess attend the Exchange. This year it was to be young Sparkle's turn, with droves of ponies across Equestria eager to see their newest Princess. My Sister and I have business to attend to in the Crystal Empire along with Cadance, leaving us stretched worryingly thin on options"

Applejack spoke up almost immediately "Um... but none of us here ARE Princesses, 'specially not THAT one!" An orange hoof flashed in the draconicus direction.

"Quite right you are, pony of apples and honesty!" a smirk played across Discord's complexion "Neither you nor I are titled "Princess". A shame really, as a horn and some wings would suit you quite well!"

With a snap of claws, Applejack found herself adorned with a wing sprouting out her forehead and a pair of horns on her back. Not to mention more than a bit of well earned frustration.

"Why i outta..." Applejack retorted

"Discord." Came a quiet, yet stern voice.

Fluttershy, a timid, yellow pegasus, friend to draconicus and ponies alike, stepped forward at the sight of Applejack and Discord teasing each other.

"I thought we had a discussion about your use of visual effects..."

With another quick snap, the orange pony found herself restored to her prior state.

"Dearest Fluttershy, even you can see it was just a harmless bit of fun. I wholly intended to change Apple Pony back to her old self. See, she is as good as new!" Discord pointed out.

"...And Applejack, you should apologize as well. Discord was summoned here by the Princess the same way we were." Fluttershy finished.

"Fine, I'm sorry." The farmer pony apologized, with a tip of her hat. She turned to address the group. "It still doesn't solve us not havin' enough Princesses for the Trader Exchange, though."

After a bit of brainstorming, it was Luna that first broke the silence.

"Discord's display of his abilities just now hath given us an idea." Quipped the midnight blue princess.

Celestia smiled "I am all ears, dearest sister."

The two sisters whispered back and forth, with a look of mischief starting on Luna's face. This followed with a bit of a shocked expression on Celestia's face, then a look like one gets after eating peanut butter on toast for the longest time, then trying grape jelly and discovering how genius an idea they were missing out on.

"That is quite brilliant indeed, Sister!" chimed Celestia.

"I have a bad feeling about this..." whispered Rarity to the group.

"Aw, come on, it's the Princesses!" Rainbow Dash interjected rather loudly "They've lived for like, what, thousands of years. How bad of an idea could it be?"

Pinkie Pie, having been shockingly quite (due in part to a brilliant plan by the Bearer's involving balloons and a motorized train looping endlessly around an oval track), finally caught wind of the conversation.

"Unless it involves cardboard cutouts, or using oversize plushie to break the space-time continuum-loopy-thingy. In fact time travel isn't nearly as awesome as it sounds, just ask Twilight sometime when she gets better." Rambled the Pink Party pony at a speed no pony in the room could follow.

"Of course, none of them would be as bad as if we asked Discord if he could change himself into Twilight for a day using his super crazy chaotic powers!" finished Pinkie.

Celestia smiled rather warmly at the group in front of her "Which is exactly what we would like to ask of Discord."

The hall fell into such a silence that you could have heard a strand of hay, let alone a pin, drop.

Rarity was the first to recover her wits. "That is a rather, well, CHARMING idea," The unicorn feigned laughter "But surely Discord would not want to romp around ALL DAY as something as uninteresting as an alicorn princess, and with all those official duties. It would be quite the bore indeed!" The Bearer's silently wished she had hit a cord as they all faced Discord for his response.

"Dear Rarity, the points you have made are valid indeed. Royal duties can be quite a bore, and to experience them as something as unexciting as a boring old Alicorn, no less." Discord chuckled, possibly at the flat look that had fallen on the Princesses face at the jab. "But I owe you ponies SO much for showing me the magic of friendship! So without further adieu..."

There was a brilliant flash of light and, where the draconicus had been standing, now stood an spitting image of their Alicorn friend.

"Princess Purple Smart, at your service!" Announced the doppelganger in an unnervingly accurate copy of Twilight's voice.

~CHAPTER TWO: The Exchange~

Too soon, Five of the Six Bearers of Harmony stood on the train platform belonging to Rainbow Falls. Oh, there were six ponies there, but the majority of the group refused to count the Alicorn Double (Henceforth referenced to as Princess Discord) out of sheer principle.

Fluttershy had spent the evening before trying to teach Discord how Twilight, and princesses in general, behave. That is of course if you used the term TRYING in the same sentence as “A snow flake TRYING to survive in a volcano, on a day where the Sun had decided to make it's home closer to said volcano”. Sure, he had appeared to act all as he had put it, “Princess-y”, at least enough to make Fluttershy feel that the work was not in vain.

That did NOT include the mess that had been the train ride to Rainbow Falls.

Princess Discord was wearing his new title too proudly. Between the bubbles that had "mysteriously” appeared, singing praise to Best Alicorn Pony Princess Twilight Sparkle, to random objects coming to life when things got too quiet, The only fortunate occurrence being that there were only two or three other ponies on board their car. Atleast, there HAD been in the sense that said passengers made the wise decision to move a car up or down depending on their closest exit once the seats started dancing around.

Fluttershy finally got things settled down right before the train came to a stop at their current location, partial because she convinced Discord that his actions might have repercussions that would harm the princesses view of her and her friends. Discord was never one to hurt his dearest friend, so with a promise that he got a couple of hours to express his chaotic powers once this was over with and they were home at Fluttershy's cottage, he had been surprisingly Twilight-like for the past half hour. That did not stop the group from piecing together a plan on how to keep Princess Discord under close surveillance.

A plan they would be glad they discussed in the not so distant future...

“So, what do you guys plan on doing once we get inside?” It was amazing how in role Discord could be when he wanted to.

Fluttershy answered his question “Well, we each brought some of our old belongings we really have no use for to trade with ponies from across Equestria. That is the basis of the Trader Exchange in a nutshell”.

“Ooh, tell me more!” Princess Discord faked interest in the topic, perhaps to get Fluttershy to let her guard down. It work, to an extent, as Fluttershy launched into the history of the Trader's Exchange, its founding, and a couple of prominent figures involved.

By the time the group arrived at the entrance to the Exchange, even Discord was sorry for bringing the topic up. Fluttershy was actually making a better example of Purple Smart than he was at the moment. In fact, they could have just painted her purple and stuck a fake horn on her head and not even needed him for this whole “Trader Exchange”.

He knew the real reason they had chose him, however. The Princesses wanted to test him, knowing they would rather him use his powers on himself and use the other five ponies as their eyes and ears.

The cards were still stacked in his favor, as he was the one they needed to pull off this facade, leaving no one the wiser. That in itself afforded him quite a bit of leeway to use his powers as he saw fit. Besides, he rather like his cards all over the floor, walls, and ceiling than just plainly stacked.

The group finally reached the end of the tunnel, being momentarily blinded by the renewed sunlight. Of course, all the flashbulbs from cameras, shiny confetti, and banner after banner were just as at fault.

Princess Discord grinned a wide, diabolical (but only to himself and his entourage) grin.

“Remember, NO funny business” Applejack reminded him rather sharply.

“He only just got here Applejack, we have to put our faith in him like the Princesses have” retorted Fluttershy.

“I guess, though the train ride wasn't the best start...” grumbled Applejack.

“Loosen up, Apple Pony. I Pinkie Pie Promise to behave, cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!”. Which he actually did.

Of course, the group failed to see him cross his hooves (claws?) behind his back.

~CHAPTER THREE: Crowd Control~

The group was amazed at just how much of the Exchange seemed to just be there with the sole intent of seeing Princess Twilight. In fact, there seemed to be just as many boothes dedicated to Princess Twilight Souvenirs as there were ponies trading.

And it seemed all of the Exchange was blocking the groups path to their planned destination.

“Wow, there are so many ponies Applejack. How are we going to get to our booth now...?” whispered Fluttershy.

“Imma thinkin', just gimme a sec.” Applejack answered. No pony (except maybe Discord) had expected this much chaos and attention.

Princess Discord decided then and there he had an agenda of his own to keep, and slipped past his pondering entourage to address the crowd.

“Attention my loyal subjects. I, Princess Twilight Sparkle, Best Pony and Best Alicorn Princess, am delighted at the attention you have all decided to gift me. So without further interruption, let us start with autographs! But first...”

It was Rainbow Dash that noticed Princess Discord had already slipped away.

“Um..., guys, where'd Discord go?” she asked, hoping the truth was not what it was.

She was answered with a sickeningly bright flash of magical energy and the look of shock on her friends faces.

Almost too horrified to turn around, Rarity was the first to do so.

“Are they....” she started.

“They ARE!” shouted Rainbow Dash

The sight in front of the ponies was almost too much to bear.

Princess Discord was facing the now perfectly organized crowd, personally signing photographs for each and every one of his adoring fans. The order he had placed the previously chaotic crowd in helped him finish in record time.

“What...the...HAY?!” sputtered an astonished Applejack.

“It is quite simple, my dearest Applejack.” Princess Discord started as he finished the last autograph ”I am the Master of Chaos. That crowd WAS Chaos. Being the MASTER of Chaos also means I know how to organize it. Simple as that.”

Applejack paused, before a thought occurred. She snatched at one of the photos Princess Discord had signed. “Wait a minute....”

The photo was a simple picture of Twilight. It was followed by the even simpler signature “Princess Twilight Sparkle”

“So... where's the catch?” muttered Applejack.

“No catch, Apple Pony.” admitted Princess Discord ”Just doing what the dear Princess Twilight Sparkle would have done.”

“OK then, ya' got me.” confessed Applejack ”I guess I have been bein' too skeptical”

“Come on guys, lets get to our booth before the crowd reassembles for seconds.” Rainbow Dash stated “Wait, where's Pinkie?”

It was not until then the group noticed a pink dot in the distance hopping up and down waiting not so patiently on them.

“Let's go then, before Pinkie pulls out her Party Cannon for attention.” The group sighed.

“I am so proud of you, Discord!” Fluttershy beamed, as they made their way towards the booth.

Princess Discord smiled sheepishly. At least the enchantments he had placed on those photos would not kick in until some time later in the week. The anticipation was killing him, but he reminded himself good things come to those who wait...

~CHAPTER FOUR: Operation Discord~

After an rather uneventful trip across the Exchange, other than a random bird bursting into “Ode to Joy”, the group reached their destination.

Almost immediately, Pinkie started rambling ”Wow, you guys took SO long! I could have walked here and back 10 times over!” She then proceeded to do so at a speed that Rainbow Dash just barely comprehended.

“We had to wait on the crowd to clear out, Pinkie.” Rarity stated as Pinkie finished her last lap.

“What crowd?” questioned the Pink Pony.

“You know, the one Discord turned into chickens” Rarity quipped.

“REALLY?!” Pinkie asked, astonished. “And I MISSED it?!”

“No, not really, Pinkie. He actually organized the crowd and got them ALL autographs.” Applejack still could not believe it herself.

“Chickens would have been fun” thought Princess Discord “Though short lived compared to what I have in store!” He grinned widely. Too widely for Applejack not to take notice.

“Discord, don't even think about it!” Applejack stated.

“Have I not proven myself already, Applejack. I was only wondering what we need a booth for!” Princess Discord stated rather abashed.

“Twilight was going to bring a few books to exchange instead of sitting in the royal box seats all day,” Fluttershy explained “We thought you could maybe trade them for something that would cheer her up!”

“By myself?” Princess Discord responded rather hopefully.

“Nope. Pinkie Pie has taken the honors to HELP you.” Rainbow smirked

Pinkie smiled and started hopping around Princess Discord ”Yep, it will be FUN. We can haggle with all the ponies and get the best trade for Twilight. I even have the official rule sheet and everything!! It will be just like baking a cake, which we should TOTALLY do when we get back!”

“I was going to go with Rainbow Dash and help her get a book she was after.” Fluttershy responded.

“And Applejack and I were going to go shopping together, maybe pull our resources for something really nice” Rarity stated.

“...And I get to sit here and auction off dusty books with Pinkie of Pie...” Discord recapped.

”It IS what Twilight would do...” Fluttershy stated, sounding slightly worried that Discord would not take to her idea.

“It would be easier to trick one pony instead of five...” Discord thought before replying.

“The idea is without flaw, Dearest Fluttershy” Princess Discord smiled.

“Thanks, Discord!” Fluttershy gave him a hug before she and Rainbow set off.

“We WILL be back to check on you in about an hour.” Rarity reminded Pinkie ”Do keep him in line until then.”

'Will do!” Pinkie saluted

Princess Discord and the Pink Party Pony watched as the two pegasus disappeared into the crowd, hearts set on attaining Rainbow Dash's goal. They then watched the farm pony and fashonista disappear in the opposite direction, both carrying bags full of useless bobbles to trade for an even bigger, though still useless, bobble.

“Perfect.” Princess Discord thought. He then smiled, turning to Pinkie “What do you think we can get for all these dusty old books, Pinkie?”

Pinkie was already WAY ahead of him ”OOOOooo! Any number of things! Maybe a treasure map leading to another treasure map that leads to a mountain made out of candy! Or maybe even a new tree house library for Twilight. Or maybe a castle! With my auctioneer skills I can make sure we get THE gift for Twilight!”

“Just for a pile of dusty old books? I`ll believe THAT when I see it!” Princess Discord challenged the Pink Pony.

“Are you questioning my skills, Discord?!” Pinkie had fallen prey almost too easily to his remark.

'All I am saying is that the proof is in the pudding!” jeered Princess Discord.

Pudding would have been good right about then, but so would putting Discord in his place. Pinkie puffed her chest up, threw on a flat top hat and mustache, and pulled out a cane.

“Don't say I didn't warn ya! Just stand back and watch the MASTER at work.” Pinkie shot back before launching into full on auctioneer overdrive mode.

The chaotic pieces to his plan were falling right into place, thought Princess Discord.

~CHAPTER FIVE: Auctioning Off Your Troubles~

“Step right up! Get your OFFICIAL Princess Twilight Approved Books!”

The words were still ringing in Princess Discord's ears. Pinkie had made good on her promise that she was QUITE an auctioneer. Fortunately for him, she had become too obsessed with the role and all it took for him to slip away had been to put a cardboard cutout of Twilight beside her auctioneer stand. You know, the cheesy kind with the waving hoof and voice box that spouted hilarious one-liners. Of course, she was so absorbed in getting the best out of her trade that he could have put army of penguins break dancing behind her and she would have failed to notice (which he would HAVE to try sometime in the future)

One pony down, four to go. Princess Discord was making rather nice progress, if he had to say so himself. Which he did. And so did all the lamps at a stall he had just passed by as he trotted, confusing and startling the ponies at said stall. This was going to be a grand day indeed. Now onto Rarity and Applejack...

Rarity had split up with Applejack for the moment after the two had decided on a meeting point should one or the other have found something they wanted. Rarity had taken, of course, to the side of the Exchange that dealt in antique jewelry.

As she browsed stall after stall, she noticed it was getting close to the hour agreed upon to go check up on Princes Discord and Pinkie Pie. Having not found what she wanted and slightly disappointed by the fact, she was just turning away from the last stall when saw IT. The item in question being a jeweled amulet that looked just like the other five she had at home. For reasons she had trouble placing, this one just seemed to call out to her like it was something she desired, nay, REQUIRED. It was the perfect choice, even though she could not pinpoint why. She became so entranced by the amulet, she could think of nothing else. Yes, this would be HER trade. Oddly enough even the furniture around her seemed to agree, startling a couple of ponies in the process. That did not matter, however, as all she required was her own trade and that of Applejack's. She knew the farm pony would just have to agree with her once she had been shown this one of a kind amulet.

As Rarity darted off in the direction she intended to meet Applejack, a purple alicorn could be heard (not by Rarity, unfortunately) snickering off in the background...

Applejack had an experience that was quite the opposite. She had happened across what she was after almost as soon as she separated from Rarity. It was a rusty old pie pan most would have dismissed as just that, a rusty old pie pan. Applejack being the cook that she was knew better. As it turned out, this particular pie pan was made of a metal that made pie backing slightly faster than with any other metal. Quite useful indeed, and the stallion running the stall seemed quite oblivious to this fact. Maybe she would not need Rarity’s trading leverage after all...

“I’ll trade ya these for that rusty old pie pan ya got there” stated Applejack as she tossed a few items out of her pack onto the table for the owner to look at. He examined them for a moment before shrugging in agreement. Applejack was THIS close to closing the deal she could almost taste all the pies she could make. That was before another mare appeared as if inexplicably draw to the spot by a magnet and practically tossed twice what the farmer had at the stall owner, DEMANDING he give her the pie tin instead. Oh, it is ON, thought Applejack.

Applejack had countered with twice what the other mare had bid, and was again this close to winning her well earned reward. Then another pony seemingly appeared out of thin air, demanding the pie tin and out bidding poor Applejack by twofold. She was now out of the lead and had no way to out do this new offer, that would be unless...

“I've got TWICE what she just offered back at my booth, and I AIN'T AFRAID TO USE IT!' Shouted the orange farm pony. The stallion running the booth was beside himself with glee at his luck of having such a sought after item, and agreed to let her run back and gather the rest of her stuff to close the deal. As Applejack blazed off into the distance, all the other ponies that had almost magically appear with the sole purpose to out bid Applejack, disappeared in quite the same manner. The slightly startled owner of the booth soon shook it off, as the idea of such a trade in his favor soon took its hold back over him. Though he thought he heard the unmistakable sound of someone laughing at the expense of someone else off in the distance.

“Applejack, so glad to see you here!” Rarity said gleefully.

“Rarity, I just found the best thing!” Applejack skidded to a halt at the meeting place.

'So did I, dear Applejack!” Rarity met Applejack at about the same spot.

“And it is only going to cost us all of our stuff!”chimed both unicorn and earth pony in an ironic bit of unison.

“Uh-oh” spouted Applejack.

“I guess we should have seen this coming...” stated Rarity with more than a bit of chagrin in her voice.

“So NOW what?” Applejack questioned. She knew the answer. It had been setting at the front of her mind since the realization had happened. She was the better friend and thus, would give in to her friend and let her get what she wanted.

Unfortunately Rarity's own conscious had the same idea. “Really Applejack, you should just take our stuff and go get what you want.” Quite a coincidence indeed.

“NOPE, you go get what you were after.” Applejack was GOING to be the best friend, not Rarity.

“I INSIST you get what you want!” Rarity would not go quietly.

Soon the two friends were entangled in one of the worst cases of out doing each other Equestria would ever see. An argument that would last for AT LEAST the rest of the day. Long enough for a chaotic being disguised as a certain purple Alicorn to have his way without their interruption.

It was all Princess Discord could do to keep from bursting into laughter. So he let the flora and fauna (ponies included) around him laugh for him. Uncontrollably so.

Now all he had to do was find a suiting diversion for the final two ponies. Or rather the last two Pegasus.

~CHAPTER SIX: A Pair of Pegasus~

“So this is really what you want...” Questioned Fluttershy

'UH-HUH!” Replied Rainbow Dash as she obsessed over the item in question.

“It's a First Edition Copy of Daring Do and the Sapphire Statue. Just what I need to complete my First Edition Collection of Daring Do books, this being the rarest one out of the set!!” Rainbow Dash was beside herself with excitement.

“Well, I am glad to help in anyway possible. But all I brought was this bear call...” admitted Fluttershy.

“That's great, but I doubt we'll need it!” The Rainbow Pegasus was absolutely bursting with confidence ”Because I brought my LUCKY HORSE SHOE to trade and how could anyone resist that?!”

“Yay...” Fluttershy sighed with more that a lot of doubt.

Rainbow turned to the mare running the stall, who happened to be dressed just like Daring Do.

“Today is your lucky day, ma`am, as I have something way more AWESOME than that book you've got there,” The mare did not buy that, in fact the only thing she would have traded that First Edition Copy for was a specific kind of old horse shoe. She needed it for next weeks Daring Do meet up as that was the treasure rumored to be in the newest book to be released next week.

“One lucky horse shoe!” Rainbow beamed. The mare stood in shock, it was the perfect size, weight, and age to fit the part perfectly. She would be the envy of the meet.

As the stall owner opened her mouth to voice her agreement in the trade, a voice somewhere in the depths of her mind spoke up. “You could do SO much better than that for such a valuable book.” She shook her head hoping she wasn't going insane.

“Yes” It spoke up again ”There are many more valuable things, take that Orthrus over there.” She really hoped she was just hearing things, but curiosity got the better of her and she looked anyway.

There stood an Orthrus in the next stall. She had to admit, she had been slightly skeptical about a horse shoe being Daring Do's next treasure. But that Orthrus. If she had that, she would definitely blow the competition out of the water.

“Um... HELLO? Anyone home?” Rainbow shouted rather rudely ”I know my lucky horse shoes is ALMOST as awesome as me, but I'm a busy pony and I don't have all day for you to gawk. Trade or no trade?” The stall owner found herself rooted back In reality and no voices to be found. She was still eyeing the Orthrus, however.

“No.” Stated the mare, plain as day.

Rainbow almost had a fit. “What do ya mean NO!?”

The stall owner continued ”I actually had my eye on that Orthrus over there”

Rainbow sighed ”So the Orthrus for the book, huh.”

She was not going to give up on her chance of getting that book so easy. ”Be right back! Come on, Fluttershy.”

Fluttershy followed, as she couldn't wait to see the Orthrus for herself.

There was a third follower unbeknownst to the two Pegasus. It was a certain princess double that was intent on keeping the two Pegasus on a wild goose chase and out of his way. Making a mare hear voices was only the start...

As the Pegasus duo approached the animal tent, the tamer stepped up to them with a look on his face that clearly said ”What's Up?”

“Trade ya an awesome rusty lucky horse shoe for that Orthrus!” Rainbow thought this would be a cinch. Only, the tamer declined her offer with a simple shake of his head. In that same instance one of his monsters swiped at him, missed, and destroyed his only lamp.

“How about if you get me a lamp, instead?” the tamer finally spoke up.

“Ugh, fine...” Rainbow would not let her hopes get dashed as easily as that lamp had.

And so the Pegasus duo of Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash (along with their unnoticed trouble maker) went from tent to tent getting deeper and wider in what felt like a wild goose chase, from an Orthrus to a lamp, a chicken statue, and finally a crystal chalice.

The pair finally stood at the stall selling crystal chalices. Rainbow, almost in dismay from the events that had transpired, and Fluttershy trying to keep her friends spirits up. Their hidden chaotic princess was also accounted for, just out of their view.

“Please tell me you've got a chalice to trade for a rusty horse shoe...” Rainbow almost pleaded.

“I certainly do!” Stated the stall owner.

Rainbow didn't hear her at first.

“I mean if you need some oddball thing like a robo-duck, or a life size replicate of a Statue of the Mare of Manehatten, or...” Rainbow rambled.

Fluttershy stopped her.

“She said she would trade, Rainbow!” Fluttershy announced happily.

“...or any other requests....Wait, WHAT!!” Rainbow almost shouted in disbelief.

Their goose chase finally had an end in sight, all that was left was to trade said items. The stall owner gladly accepted the horse shoe and laid a crystal chalice before the two.

It was quite a work of wonder, its edges shaped perfectly and made of the clearest crystal. Too perfect for Princess Discord's taste.

As Rainbow and Fluttershy reached for their well earned prize, and the final leg of their journey coming to an end, a sharp noise filled the air. A noise akin to an unstoppable force hitting an unbreakable wall and ripping the universe apart. It could have also been the cracking of crystal. Rainbow would have actually accepted the former over the latter.

CRACK.

Both Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, figuratively, exploded into screams of frustration. Princess Discord actually exploded with laughter.

Putting the crystal chalice together was sure to take them the rest of the day, plenty of time for chaotic gods to play....

~CHAPTER SEVEN: A Great Day, Indeed!~

Five ponies out of five absorbed into their own problems. Problems that would keep them out of Princess Discord's mane all day. And what a day it was going to be.

He first thought of losing his disguise, but decided against it. He knew he would be able to reign chaos almost at will as the highly regarded Princess Twilight Sparkle as no one would question their newly crowned Alicorn. Not to mention the added effect of the mess he could make that would be left for Twilight to clean up. He doubted the Princesses would want to confess to actually telling their subjects they had enlisted him as an Alicorn Double.

A waiting list of chaotic options appeared before him. Cotton candy clouds raining chocolate? Too cliche. A tent and flag pole parade lead by yours truly? No, this was too good an opportunity to do something as simple as that. Each chaotic idea chased the other around figuratively (and literally too as actual thought bubbles that accosted any pony that had wondered over that way). Finally he decided, he would just do all of it at once. Chaos at its finest!

Slowly he drew his powers and began to cast a spell that would encompass all the ideas he had just spent what felt like a couple of hours drawing out. Just before lift off, however, there was a rainbow blur that landed rather loudly in front of him.

“Twilight, I mean Discord, I mean, WHATEVER we are calling you now. I need you to act all official, like, RIGHT NOW!” Rainbow sounded panicky.

“Not now, Rainbow Blast, I am just getting ready to have a bit of FUN!” The spell was almost at its peak.

“I just accidentally traded FLUTTERSHY, and we may never see her again...” Rainbow confessed.

“YOU WHAT!” Discord's spell fizzled out.

Rainbow winced at the look Princess Discord gave her, but felt Twilight would have acted the same way even if she wasn't the one giving Rainbow the glare right now...

A short time later, ponies gathered from all over the Exchange as, for the first time ever, a trade was to be disputed.

Princess Discord sat in the Princesses box seat holding a gavel in his magic. Below him stood Rainbow and her precious book, and facing opposite to her was the mare from the Daring Do stand along with Fluttershy and the Orthrus.

Princess Discord rapped.

“Explain.” Princess Discord sounded surprisingly Twilight-like, which made Rainbow feel even more ashamed.

“I only meant to trade the Orthrus for this first edition copy of Daring Do. I didn't realize that included Fluttershy being took off to stay with the stall owner until it was fully trained. No one should trade a friend for something as material as a book, even if it IS a First Edition. Nothing is as valuable as a good friend...”

Princess Discord intervened.

“NOTHING is as valuable as Best Pegasus Fluttershy. You are correct, Rainbow.” Princess Discord boomed.

“HEY, I thought I was best Pegasus!” Rainbow said rather taken back.

“At least dear Fluttershy did not trade her best friend for a book!” Princess Discord noted.

“I said I was sorry!” Rainbow defended.

The crowd was rather startled at the bickering between the Princess and her friend, but tried to overlook it. The papers were all ears, however.

“HEY, don’t I get a say in this?” shouted the Daring Do stall owner.

“You just did.” retorted Princess Discord ”Besides Fluttershy is Best Pegasus. Best Pegasus is greater in value than ANYTHING, including some dusty old book. Case closed.”

The mare huffed in frustration as Rainbow tossed her book back to her in return for Fluttershy and the Orthrus, bringing the evening to a close as well as the Exchange...

The train ride home was rather quiet, even with Princess Discord on board. It seemed the events of the day had even tired HIM out. Almost seeing his dearest friend traded off by one of her OWN FRIENDS was quite an issue with the draconicus. An issue he had made quite apparent to Rainbow just before they got on the train.

“You have to admit Rainbow, monochrome does fit you well. And the Worst Pony shirt isn't THAT bad...”

“Can it, Applesnack” Shorted the now monochrome Rainbow.

“Hey, he could have done a lot worse” Applejack grinned sheepishly

“Discord DID agree to change you back before we get to Ponyville, Dashie” Fluttershy reminded her.

Princess Discord just glared menacingly in Rainbow's direction.

Fluttershy tried to break the silence.

“I did get this cute little bird call for the Orthrus, though!” She exclaimed before calling a little bird out of nowhere with said instrument.

“Did you ever trade any of those books, Pinkie?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“No. I made the bids too high and everyone left...” She looked somewhat disappointed.

“I kinda think Twilight wanted to keep those books in a way Pinkie.” Fluttershy assured her.

“Maybe so!” Pinkie perked up at the idea.

“That reminds me, Applejack.” Rarity exclaimed ”I got this for you with my part of our trade.” She levitated a pan to Applejack.

“Well that was mighty kind of you, Rares!” It was not the pan she had been after but it was quite thoughtful none the less.

“Actually, I got you something too!” Applejack pulled a small lavender pin out of her hat and handed it to the unicorn ”Just like the rest of the ones you have, so I figured you would like it!'

They both shared a laugh, that eventually caught on with the rest of the group, even Princess Discord and Rainbow Dash.

~CHAPTER EIGHT: Patience is a Virtue~

“Thanks for inviting me over for tea, Fluttershy.” This voice belonged to the REAL Princess Twilight.

It had been a few days since the Trader Exchange at Rainbow Falls and Twilight had pretty much recovered from her Feather Flu symptoms by then.

“Don't mention it, Twilight.” Fluttershy beamed at getting the chance to chat with her friend, even if Discord had made a rather close substitute of her.

Twilight wasn't exactly focused on Fluttershy at the moment, though.

“Your house doesn't normally spin like that, right?” Twilight finally questioned.

“I promised Discord that he could have his way for a couple hours today...” Fluttershy admitted.

A flock of birds flew over, upside down, chirping “Flight of the Valkyrie”, followed by Twilight's tea cup spontaneously changing into a frog and hopping right into her face.

“HEY!” Shouted Twilight.

And with that the table they where sitting at turned into just that, a bale of hay.

“He must have been rather behaved at the Trader Exchange for you to let him do all this!” Twilight rolled her eyes as Fluttershy's fence started to do “The Wave”.

“He really was, Twilight! He helped me and Rainbow out of a bind and everything. He didn't cause as much as a single uproar!” Fluttershy smiled

It was THEN that all the photos Princess Discord had signed enchantments kicked in.

To this day, there are still ponies that flinch at the mere mention of Discord's earsplitting rendition of “Princess Twilight is in da' House”. It did manage to make the Top 10 Chart on The Canterlot One Hit Wonders List, as hard as that can be to imagine and despite Twilight's attempt to destroy every copy that ever existed.

Another story for another time, perhaps.