Yay for Boobies

by distortedtruth92

Rating: mature
Tags: Anthro, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Romance, Sex, DJ P0N-3
Length: 3795

Moving to a new town is always hard. Hopefully it will be easier while looking at all the pairs of lovelies around the place

Ponyville was probably the best move you could have ever made. Everywhere you turn is a wonderful pair of boobies. Here you plan on starting your new life. One problem, though. Your new neighbors. One absolutely hates you, the other seems to want to get to know you but you are terrified of her.

Published 2014-04-25 05:00:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-21 04:00:12 UTC

Prologue: The Arrival

Boobies. You have always loved boobies. Ever since you were a young foal suckling at you mother's tit. You could never get enough of them. The way they jiggled when the mares walked. It was mesmerizing as a pendulum. The fur around those lovable fun bags always looked to be the softest, though you wouldn't know. You had never felt the real thing. You'd seen them though, and you were addicted.

That was the reason why moving to Ponyville was the best decision you had ever made.

You slowly walked through the outskirts of town, your hooves clomping softly on the packed dirt, tired from your three day walk from your hometown. What you had in your pack was just the essentials. You would get everything else once you were settled in. As you neared the center of town you noticed quite a few pairs of decently sized breasts walking around, all barely contained by shirts in the sweltering summer heat.

You casually look to look at the address scrawled on the sheet of paper in your right hand, only to have your gaze stopped by an enormous pair of pink breasts, covered by a blue v-neck, hovering comfortably close to you.

“How's it going, buddy,” the head attached to the breasts said. “My name is Pinkie Pie. You look new here. What's your name?”

“Uh, my name is Garblekdkaad,” you replied, your reply lost in the stunning cleavage of Pinkie Pie.

“It's nice to meet you, Garblekdkaad. Mind if I call you Garble for short?” the pair of taking breasts asked, unperturbed by what you had just said. “I bet you and I are going to be great friends.”

She turned and started bouncing off, breaking you from your trance. You shook your head to clear your mind. The fuck just happened.

You looked back down to the address and slowly made your way to your house, Taking sideways glances at all the boobies on the way. As you neared your new place of residence, you heard screams of delight combined with screams of desperation coming from next door. You looked to the house just in time to see the door burst open and a white pair of breasts, restrained by a spaghetti strap shirt, sprint out a the door way.

“Vinyl!” you heard a voice yell from inside the house. “Come back here with my bra, now!”

You then glanced back to the doorway to see a beautiful pair of gray breastacles, covered only by a forearm.

“B-b-boobies,” you stammered out as you felt a slight bit of slobber form at the corner of your mouth.

The gray pair of boobies saw you gawking and instantly screamed bloody murder before slamming the door.

The white pair slowly trotted up to you. “Dude, that wasn't cool.”

“What wasn't?” you asked, eyes on the bountiful bust.”

“Hey, douche bag, my eyes are up here,” a hand enters your field of vision, the middle finger extended to point up at the face attached to the lovelies.

You slowly lifted your head, not wanting your eyes to leave the comfort of that inviting, warm crevice. You meet her eyes, her beautiful, magenta eyes, and immediately look back down, not to her breasts, but to the ground at your feet.

You felt a hand rest on your shoulder, causing you to flinch away. “Hey, bud, you alright?”

Without saying a word to her, this beautiful mare before you, you turned and ran to your new house, fumbling for a second with the lock before finally bursting into the already furnished living room.

You sat down on the couch and pulled your legs up to your chest, making a mental note to purchase some brandy for the next time something happened like this. You were never good with girls. They always looked at you funny. Your mother told you it was just the heterochromia of the eyes, but still, since grade school, you had kept your eyes downcast, eventually finding there resting place at chest level. No girl had ever asked to look into your eyes before. In fact, before today, It seemed like it had been years since you had even been spoken to by a girl except your mother. The pink one was alright, she had just introduced herself, nothing to personal. The white one though, she had seen your eyes, you had seen hers. Your mother always told you that the eyes were the window to the soul, so having two different colored eyes meant your soul was extra special. The white one's eyes were different though. They were just a single color, a beautiful, brilliant magenta. They acted more like doors than windows. All you saw was your reflection, as if staring into a pair of glass orbs. The personality of it all made you feel overwhelmed so you bolted, fear in your every step.

As you sat in the dark living room, rocking back and forth in the fetal position, you heard a knock on the door.

“Hey, new guy, you in there?” you heard a voice say, you recognized it as the white one. “You mind if I come in?”

You didn't reply, but the knob turned anyway, and you mentally berate yourself for leaving it unlocked. The white mare, whom you now realized was a unicorn with an electric blue mane, stood in your doorway, handling a tray of cookies. She had changed out of her shirt and in to a gray pullover hoodie with matching sweatpants. She also had a pair of purple sunglasses resting atop her horn.

She closed the door and walked over to you, still in the fetal position on the couch. “Hey bud you alright?” She reached out a hand to your shoulder again but, remembering earlier, decided to think better of it, instead she just sits down next to you, putting the try of cookies, now identified as chocolate chip, between the two of you.

She stared at the wall across the room for a full minute before finally breaking the silence. “So... uh... I brought you a housewarming gift,” she said as she gestured to the plate of cookies. “My roommate, Octavia made them. I suck at all things culinary.” She chuckled slightly. She looked to you to see if you shared in her mirth. The smile died on her lips as she saw you still staring blankly at the wall. “My name is Vinyl Scratch, I'm the local DJ here in Ponyville. Play every Friday and Saturday night at the Horn and Scepter. The girl you were ogling earlier was my roommate, Octavia, the one I just mentioned. She plays first chair cello in the Royal Canterlot Orchestra. Not really my type of music but hey to each her own, I guess.” She looked over to you to see if you were listening. When she saw you still wore a blank expression, she huffed irritably.

She waved a hand in front of your face, trying to elicit a response, but still, you stared. “Helloooo, anypony in there?” No response. She sighed as she stood up and brushed off her pant legs. “Well, bud, if you want to talk I'm just next door. You should come to the club tomorrow night. What's you name? I never caught it.” You briefly snap out of your comatose state to give her your real name, then resume rocking on the couch. “Huh, cool name bud.” She walked to the door and opened it. Before completely leaving she turned her back to you with a smile. “By the way, I really like your eyes. They're cool.” With that she raised a hand over her shoulder and waved at you as she walked out the door, closing it softly behind her.

Author's Note

So this was a just for fun idea I had while playing Titanfall one night. it was also a good way to really get back into writing. I actually had fun writing it, which hasn't happened in a while. Maybe, now I can put more effort into writing.
Good night yall.
Love,

Distorted

Meet the Neighbors

You woke up to daylight streaming through your window and landing on your eyes. You were still lying on the couch, curled up into a ball. As you started to stretch out, you swear you could hear your bones creaking from staying in one place for too long.

Once you are able to stand up you headed slowly to the bathroom, your back slight bent in pain. You opened the doors of closets twice on the way as this was the first time exploring the new house. You finally found it and crashed in, hurrying to get your zipper undone so you cant take the piss that was just screaming to be let loose. Once you relieved yourself you turned on the water in the tub. While you waited for it to get hot you rested your hands on the sink and looked into the mirror.

Staring back at you was an average stallion, roughly 5'10” in height, somewhat broad shoulders without much muscle. Your coat was a muddy brown, your muzzle fading into black. Atop your head rested a mop of unruly dirty blonde hair, even when it wasn't mussed from bed head. Your eyes took all this in, eyes where one was brown and the other a brilliant, emerald green. You sighed inwardly and began to undress.

As you got out of the shower, you heard a knock on the door. You quickly wrapped a towel around yourself in an attempt to make yourself somewhat decent.

“Who the hell is here at this hour?” you asked yourself as you make your way to the door. You slowly open and see the beautiful white mare from yesterday. Today she was dressed in a zip up hoodie, unzipped enough to show some modest cleavage, and a pair a dark blue skinny jeans that appeared to be stone washed. Atop her head sat the same pair of purple sunglasses from last night.

“Hey, bud, mind if I come in?” she asked, a smile gracing her beautiful lips. “I thought maybe I could show you around the town.”

You moved your eyes slowly up from her cleavage to her mesmerizing magenta eyes, causing you to freeze. “N-no, th-thank you. I c-can find my way just fine.” You slammed the door in her face and shoved the deadbolt shut before charging into your bedroom, slamming and locking that door as well.

“Why won't she leave me alone?” you asked the empty room.

“What is wrong with that stallion?” Vinyl asked the door in front of her. She slowly turned and walked away from the door. “Oh, I almost forgot!” She turned back around to the door, pulled an envelope from her hoodie pocket and placed it on the door mat. She put her shades back on as she left the cover of the awning in front of the stallion's house. She walked twenty feet to her front doorstep and immediately took them off again. When she opened the door, Octavia was lounging on the couch, waiting for her.

“Well, how did it go?” the gray mare asked in her High Canterlot accent.

Vinyl tossed her sunglasses onto the coffee table situated in front of the couch with a sigh before sitting down next to her roommate. “Ugh. Not well. The guy is fucking terrified of me, it seems.”

The gray mare pursed her lips. “Vinyl, what have I told you about language? I, for one, don't see what the problem is. He seemed a pervert to me. I don't see why you are so enamored with him.” She tilted her head making the question clear.

Vinyl rested her elbows on her knees and placed her forehead in her hands. “I don't know, Octy. Maybe it's his eyes. You haven't seen them up close, so you wouldn't understand. One is brown, like, mud brown, not really appealing at all. But the other one, sweet Celestia, it's gorgeous. It's green, and not just any green. This green reminds me of when you and I were fillies in Canterlot. Remember when we would sneak away from our parents on the weekend and meet up in the field beneath Canterlot mountain, you, Lyra, and me? That's what that green reminds me of. It's absolutely stunning.”

Octavia had been listening the whole time silently while Vinyl went on her rant. When the white mare stopped, Octavia took her chance to speak. “Come now, sweetheart, they can't be that wonderful.”

Vinyl shook her head. “Trust me, Octy, they are.”

Octavia gave a slight sigh. “Fine, I guess I'll have to go see for myself.”

You had been sitting in your room for the past half hour before hearing another knock on your door. Thinking it was White Tits again, you ignore it, until the second round of knocking came, louder and more insistent than the last, accompanied by a harsh, “I know you're in there, mister.”

Your head snapped up at the unfamiliar voice. The unfamiliar, angry voice. You got our of you bed and quickly pulled on some clothes before heading to the front door, the incessant knocking continuing all the while.

You opened the door and see an angry pair of gray fun bags glaring at you.

“About ti-. What the devil are you doing?” The hands attached to the body of the jiggly wigglies grasped your chin and forced you to look up into the angry face of a gray mare. “Why the blazes were you staring at my bre- oh my!” She dropped your chin and sprinted across the yard to her own house and through the threshold.

As Octavia burst through the door, panting heavily, Vinyl jumped up, a concerned look on her face. “Octavia! Is everything alright?”

Octavia looked at her roommate, and, in between heavy breaths, manage to squeak out. “H-how can a stallion have eyes that sexy?”

Vinyl plopped back down on the sofa, head head thrown back in a riotous fit of laughter.

“I don't see what is so funny, Vinyl.”

“Oh, nothing. I just never thought I'd hear you call anything about a stallion 'sexy'.”

Author's Note

Sorry about the wait yall. I've been really busy at work, so I just posted what I could now. Next chapter should be longer and, as a little teaser, our protagonist will get some boob next chapter, though not from the source you might expect. Thanks for all the likes, I had no idea this would get this much attention. Y'all stay classy bronies
Love,

Distorted

I Wear My Sunglasses At Night

You stood in your doorway, mouth slightly ajar at what had just transpired. You raised your left hand and slowly place it against the frame.

“Uh, what?” you said to yourself.

You shook your head slightly and adopted a slight smile without realizing it as you turned and closed the door. You sat back down on the simple brown leather couch with the grin still on your face. You felt light for some reason, as if a weight had been lifted. You couldn't place the feeling.

Two hours and some rare happy thoughts later, you got off your perch on the couch. You grabbed your sunglasses off the coffee table and made your way to the door and stepped out into the early twilight. Without any particular destination in mind, you made your way into town.

Ponyville seemed peaceful at night, almost eerily so. The sound of child's laughter was gone, the cries of the vendors as well. What daylight had illuminated before was now bathed in the dim glow of the streetlamps. You saw the occasional pony milling about but mainly the town seemed deserted.

As the wind blew in from your left, you heard the soft sound of music playing. You slowly turned and started headed toward it. The music got louder with every step you took. After walking for close to five minutes, the sound was near deafening. You saw a huge building with green and purple lights flash about in no discernible pattern. A fairly huge line was gathered around the front. You walked to the back and stood, shifting you weight slightly from one foot to the other.

The unicorn mare in front of you turned around and faced you. The first thing you noticed was the blasphemous tube top she was wearing, concealing a perfect pair of love mounds. The next thing was that her fur was teal colored.

“Hey, bud, what's up?” the mare asked, her voice a bit tomboyish.

Feeling slightly bolder due to your sunglasses, you reluctantly tore your vision away from her eye magnets. She had stunningly golden eyes. Her mane was the same color as her fur, but with a white stripe down the middle. “Oh, h-hey,” you tried to adopt a nonchalant pose. “Oh, you know, just chillin'. Waiting to get in. Uh, do you know who's playing?”

Her eyes widened, then she started laughing. “Oh, you don't know(you better call somebody)? You're not from around here are you?”

You smiled awkwardly. “Yeah, I just moved in yesterday.”

“Ah, I see. Well, you've probably heard of her. She's famous from here to Canterlot. She goes by the name DJ Pon-3 on stage, but all her friends know her as Vinyl Scratch.”

“Oh, so this is the Horn and Scepter. Vinyl told me she was playing.”

The mare looked shocked. “You've met her?”

“Oh, yeah. She's my next door neighbor. She said she was the local DJ. I had no idea she was the famous DJ Pon-3.”

Any further conversation was cut short by the doorstallion asking for the mares name, which was Lyra Heartstrings. She turned back to you and gave you a wink. “See you inside bud.”

You walked up to the doorstallion with a goofy grin on your face.

“Name?” he asked in a gruff voice. You told him. “You're on the V.I.P. List. Go on in, sir. Drinks are on the house.”

Your eyes widened behind your sunglasses. “Thank you, sir.”

The burly stallion smiles for the first time. “Don't thank me, thank Vinyl, she calls the shots. Hehe, literally.” He motioned for you to give him your hand and he stamped it. “Show that to the bartender.

You walked by him and gave him a light pat on the arm. As you walked through the doors, you were immediately assaulted by a wall of music. Green and purple lights matching the ones outside were flashing erratically, still no pattern to be found. Vinyl Scratch was up on the raised stage, standing behind her turntable. She wore a black bikini top, denim shorts that looked like they had once been considerably longer, and her purple shades. In short, she looked damn sexy.

With great effort you turned away from Vinyl and survey the room. To your right was a seething mass of bodies, to your left was the bar, right in front of you was the mare you were looking for, Lyra.

You grinned again and sauntered over to the voluptuous beauty.

She smiled seductively back, “Hey, you.”

“Hey,” you replied, somewhat breathlessly. “Uh, can I get you a drink?”

She laughed slightly. “I was just about to ask you the same thing.”

You stuck your tongue out playfully. “Well I asked you in first.”

She laughed again, a beautiful, lilting sound. “That you did. I'll accept.”

You extended you arm. She laughed as she took it, and you led her to the bar.

“I'll have a Manehatten and whatever the lady wants,” you looked to Lyra.

“Long Island iced tea please.”

“Coming right up,” the mare behind the bar said. When she brought the drinks to you, you showed her the the stamp on your hand, and she smiled and nodded.

Lyra raised an eyebrow at you. “V.I.P. Huh. How'd you get that? Vinyl rarely hands out free drinks.”

You shrugged. “I don't know. She asked me to come, so I guess that could be it.”

“Probably.”

You finished your drinks, and she grabbed your hand and led you onto the dance floor.

You stopped as you stepped on the floor. “Lyra, I don't know how to dance.”

She smiled sweetly at you. “That's okay. Just follow my lead.” She grabbed your hand again and pulled you deeper into the crowd. When you were in the middle, she stopped and pulled you into her back, her flank pressed right up against your crotch. She started swaying her hips back and forth, causing you to feel slight tension in your groin. She grabbed your other hand and placed both on her hips. She pushed them down to her upper thighs, then slid them slowly up her body until your fingertips were brushing the bottoms of her breasts. She placed you hands back on her hips before turning around to face you, and sultry smile gracing her lips. She draped her arms over your shoulders and leaned in for a kiss.

You two stood in the center of the dance floor for a good minute, making out, before Lyra breathlessly broke the kiss. She smiled again. “So, uh, what do you say we head back to my place.”

Your mouth dropped to the floor. “S-sure, thing.”

The two of you left the Horn and Scepter, arm in arm, and walked back toward town. Lyra rested her head on you shoulder as she led you through the streets of Ponyville and to an apartment building.

Lyra led you up the stairs to room 217. She pulled the key out of her shorts pocket and unlocked the door before walking in. She motioned for you to come in behind her. You followed her into a room with a queen sized bed. She turned toward you, her hand on the zipper of her tube top. She slowly pulled it down, letting the garment fall to the floor, baring her chest to the room.

Her nipples were a darker green than her fur and sticking up, whether from arousal or cold you didn't know, though, judging from the situation, you hoped the former. They had a slight sag in them due to their volume. In all, perfect.

Lyra's constant smile turned into a huge grin. “You like what you see?”

All you could do was silently nod.

Author's Note

Ugh. Sorry this took so long guys. I've been really busy lately with work. Please don't hate me. I hope yall enjoyed the chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. It felt nice to write again. Hope you like the little cliffhanger I gave.
Love,

Distorted