Blooming

by friedlambo

Rating: mature
Tags: Romance, Fluttershy, Sex, Tragedy, Random, Crossover, Gore, Apple Bloom, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 941

Apple Bloom tries to get her cutie mark.

Apple Bloom tries to get her cutie mark as a restaurant waiter, and Fluttershy is willing to help, more or less.

Published 2014-04-25 12:20:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-25 12:20:04 UTC

Chapter 1

It was a beautiful day in Ponyville, the town where everypony just didn't know when to quit showing each other kindness and heartwarming bullshit. Every day, it was the same; ponies came, ponies went, and ponies would help each other out to the point where it would almost seem like everypony wanted each other's dick... or vagina. Whatever.

Extravaganza.

However, Fluttershy, the shy and timid pony, was up to no bad.She was walking towards the town's newest restaurant; El Cap in Das Ass. Here, they werved only the finest of genetalic delicacies. As she walked in, she made her way to a nearby open table, and sat down, waiting to be waited.

Here we are, americanos pedros on this vast ocean of pubic hairs that seem to relish in pickle juice, and these words are louder than babies trying to make fries in the middle of the desert. Please oh god yes come yes my yes.

Would you rather have hair on your teeth, or teeth as your hair?

"Oh, hey there, Fluttershy!"

Fluttershy looked up from the menu she was looking at. It was full of images of bison penis.

Fried bison penis. Ey yo, can you dig it?

Fluttershy let out a happy orgasmic gasp. "Oh, Apple Bloom! What are you doing here?" Penis.

"I work here, and I'm gonna be yer waiter!"

"Oh, how nice!"

"So, do you know what you want yet, you fucking cunt?"

Fluttershy beamed Apple Bloom a smile. "Oh, no, not yet, but I'll get back to you whenever I do!"

Apple Bloom cut her stomach open, and took out her intestines.

"Actually, I think I want a sandwich!" Fluttershy said. "With extra ink!"

"Okay, sounds good!" she said as she turned around, and walked to the restaurant's kitchen. She walked over to a nearby stove, and threw her intestines onto it. She turned it on full blast.

"I am on a shit" she said. Brilliant.

A glorious ten minutes passes.

"Okay, here you go, Fluttershy! I made it myself!"

Fluttershy gets up on the table and takes a gloriously massive shit on top of her food.

"Oh, I see you like to add some spice!" Apple Bloom said, blood randomly gushing from her anus, and splashing all over a pathetic couple behind her.

Fuckin' gross. Diarrhea.

"As a bonues, I brought you some soup, too! Here, let me feed it to you!"

At this, Apple Bloom's hooves grew to ten times their size, and she grabbed Fluttershy by her waist, then slammed her hard onto the floor, breaking every single fucking bone in her body.

"AAAAAAUAUUAUUAAGAHAAGAAUAA, my ferkin' spleen!"

Apple Bloom grabbed the soup that she had made, still boiling hot, and began to pour it into Fluttershy's extremely wrinkly and aged vagina, making the yellow pony yell out in... ecstasy?

Fuckin' weirdo.

"How does it taste, Fluttershy? I put all kinds of nutritious ingredients in it! And yet...!"

Apple Bloom paused. Smelly testicles.

"F-Fluttershy... please...

Fluttershy listened intently.

"Please oh god come fuk my nuts!"

Fluttershy nodded in understanding. She then turned over onto her stomach, raised her ass into the air, and farted a certain, melodic fart that seemed to echo out into the woods.

Apple Bloom knew what this meant all too well. A bunch of little cute animals stormed into the restaurant, and they all tackled Apple Bloom immediately. A random ,giant-ass bunny stuck his 15-foot-long vagina into her vagina, and they both came viciously, squirting all over everypony in the restaurant.

But nopony even gave two shits. They just kept eating their fried bison penis.

"Fluttershy, that was amazing! That bunny sure was cool!"

"Oh, of course! You are a mustard!"

Apple Bloom felt a blooming down in her groin area. She bent her head over to see that she had grown a full-blown penis.

And this was not a bison penis.

"Oh, I think we should put that to some good use!' Fluttershy said as she picked up Apple Bloom over her head, and stuck the penis into her mouth.

She then bit it off. Apple Bloom died.

"Well, that was a waste of mime!" Fluttershy said as she threw the lifeless body out of the restaurant window, shattering the glass. As Apple Bloom's body flew in the air, a dick-shaped dick formed on her hip area. Alas, she had finally earned her cutie mark.

Out of nowhere, a young, 17-year-old high-schooler human with blue hair walked into the restaurant. His name was Raku.

"Did anyone here order a pizza?" he asked.

Fluttershy, and everypony else in the restaurant, turned to look at him, and they instantly died.

"Well, that fucking sucks." he said as he threw the pepperoni pizza out of the same window that Fluttershy had thrown Apple Bloom. It landed right on top of the dead filly.

"I...I am a BEAN SPROUT!" Raku yelled. Wait, why was this shit even happening? I mean, he's not even supposed to be in the pony world. He's an anime character, for Christ's sake. He should be hitting it up with a bunch of other anime chicks.

Eh, fuck it, he'll have to do for the ending of this sorry-ass fiction.

Mayonnaise began to erupt out of Fluttershy's buttox, even though she was dead.

Hernia.

And so, it was here that we proved that Ponyville wasn't just a town for ponies, but for fried bison penis and Raku as well. He did, after all, try to be nice by offering everypony some pizza, but these rude fucks decide to just fall over instead. Nothing but a bunch of inconsiderate assholes, if you ask me.

Pepika.