Day Zero (Partially Rewritten)
Awakening from a drunken sleep, Ignis Spark groggily rubbed her head whilst groaning at her hangover. Reaching a hand to block the rays of the sun, she rolled over to go back to sleep. Upon rolling over, instead of finding the sweet embrace of her creeper plushie, all she found was a rock. Trying to focus her bleary eyes on the sight before her, she beheld that, yes, she was cuddling a rock. That realization was soon followed by her noticing she was laying in the center of a forest clearing. Taking a full minute to process her current situation, she let loose a massive scream of terror, of which she immediately stopped. Her hangover threatening to tear her skull apart in agony.
Setting herself to rubbing the pain from her head and panicking later, she took in her surroundings. A thick forest of slightly menacing trees surrounded her on all sides. Looking around the clearing she stopped her cherished creeper plushie sitting on a rather large rock nearby. Dragging her hungover self next to the rock, she hauled herself up and into a sitting position next to her plushie. Reaching to grab it, she heard a distinctive hiss from behind her. Acting on instinct, she grabbed her plushie and enacted a barrel roll away from the rock, quickly being followed by an annoyed growl. Turning around, she saw a large pack of wolves made from wood.
Purposely moving slowly, so as to not attract their attention, she held her plushie to her chest and stood up. She took a few steps back, before turning around and running at a dead sprint away from the unholy abominations behind her. As she ran, she noticed that she could hear everything much clearer than she normally did. Caulking it up to adrenaline, she continued running, dodging branches and roots with seemingly expert precision. Chancing a glance behind her, she spotted the pursuing pack of wooden wolves chasing after her through the forest. She suddenly encountered a rather large, and furry, obstacle in her path. Falling on her rear, she turned her head from the horror behind to face whatever she smacked into. To her terror, she ran full pelt into an apartment complex sized bear with a coat patterned with stars. Hoping she didn't wake it up, she tried to carefully climb over it, praying that the wolves wouldn't chance angering the beast
Her hopes were dashed, however, when she heard a guttural growl from her left. Turning her entire body to look, she sees the rather pissed off face of a colossal bear, and it was staring at a point to her left. Looking in the same direction as the bear, she saw the wooden wolves halted at the edge of a line of trees outside of what they just noticed was a cave. Unable to decide what was worse, she backed up into the bear and lightly pet its coat, hoping to earn its favour and not be eaten. A low, rumbling growl of pleasure affirmed her decision as she stays near the hopefully friendly giant bear. Slowly the wolves begin backing away one by one. Thanking her stars, she looked back at the bear who was reciprocating the gesture. Slowly patting its side, she makes to exit the cave. Suddenly finding her way barred by a monolithic paw, she turned around with a look of barely contained terror on her face.
Instead of being eaten, she instead received a lick from a tongue the size of a truck. Spluttering at the copious amounts of saliva covering her body, she didn't notice the descending jaws until it was too late. Clenching her eyes at the last second, she found herself hoisted into the air before being unceremoniously deposited on something soft and fluffy. Taking a chance, she opened her eyes and saw that she was on the back of the giant bear as it began loping forwards into the sunlight. A sudden feeling of well-being came over her the moment the suns rays touched her skin. Sighing in some form of bliss, she laid back on the bear and began dozing off, hoping to rid herself of her abominable hangover.
In the town of Ponyville, Equestria, everything was going perfectly for the celebration of this year’s summer sun celebration. Decorations were being hung up on schedule, effigies of princess Celestia were already placed around the town, and catering for the feast was being taken care of. Sighing in Contentment, Twilight Sparkle took one last look at her checklist. Seeing one unchecked item on her list, decided to read it aloud to the passenger on her back:
"Give spike a large tub of chocolate ice-cream." She said with a with a deadpan as she turned to look spike in the eyes. "Did you really think that you'd be able to trick me that easily?" She asked with a smirk, only to have Spike reply with a chuckle.
"Didn't you forget about my helping out with the decorations for town hall and my agreed upon rewarding me for doing so?" Spike mischievously grinned.
Looking at her list, Twilight saw 'be reminded of spikes reward for helping around town' on her list, and it was unchecked.
"Touché."
Twilight grumbled, crossing it off her list and heading to buy a large tub of ice-cream for spike.
Elsewhere, Applejack was hauling a cart of apples into Ponyville for the summer sun celebration feast. Whistling a jaunty tune she happily trotted along the worn dirt path to town, stopping on occasion to smell a patch of flowers. As she neared Ponyville, she stopped her whistling and nodded to a passing pony in greetings before entering the town. Once in, she made her way straight to the market where she deposited her cart alongside a host of others and nodded to a job well done. The orange pony began trotting to Sugar-cube Corner for a bite to eat and to chat with Pinkie.
Meanwhile, on the outskirts of the Everfree Forest, Fluttershy was boldly attempting to get Angel Bunny to eat a carrot. Upon his umpteenth refusal, she dejectedly trotted into the kitchen with a sigh to prepare him his salad. After she set all the ingredients out to prepare it, she began pulling apart the lettuce and dropping it in the bowl. Reaching for the tomatoes, she noticed that they are slowly bouncing along the counter in a periodic fashion. Witnessing this phenomenon once again, she looked out her wind to investigate what could be causing the tremors and after looking into the spooky Everfree, she spied the form of an Ursa Major charging towards the town. Letting out a quiet squeak of terror, she abandoned the salad to gallop towards Ponyville to warn the residents of their impending doom. What she failed to notice was the form lying prone on the giant bear’s back.
Ignis was awoken from her anti-hangover nap by a rather large nose poking her everything. Opening her eyes and not being immediately assaulted by the sun, she looked towards the nose's owner, seeing a large bear head staring at her unblinkingly. Staring at it for a bit, she decides to wave at it. Taking this as an affirmative the bear grabbed her legs in its mouth and displaced her on the ground, giving her another gratuitous lick once she was standing up again. Grumbling, she pet the bear’s muzzle and begins trudging towards a town she spies in the distance. The sounds of thundering footsteps recedes into the distance as the giant, surprisingly friendly bear returned to its den. Nearing the town, she took note of its rustic...charm. Thinking she'd somehow managed to travel to some remote part of Sweden, she continued on into the town, crossing a cobblestone paved bridge in the process. As she was nearing the zenith of the bridge, looking at the buildings around her in curiosity, she missed a loose cobblestone in the bridge. Striking it with her foot, she fell face first onto the ground in front of the bridge. Hearing a collection of shocked gasps, she raised an arm and asked:
"Anyone got a towel I can borrow?"
After waiting a few seconds without answer, she looked up to see dozens of wide eyed ponies staring at her with expressions of terror on their faces. A few more seconds passed and a random pony reared up on its hind legs and places its forelegs on either side of its muzzle, before bellowing out something that shocked Ignis.
"Monster!"
The pony yelled in a feminine voice, causing all the other ponies to begin panicking and running in every direction but towards her. In a matter of seconds the streets were cleared and all the buildings were boarded up. Huffing in annoyance, having decided to post-pone the growing panic attack, she pushed herself off the ground and dusted off her saliva drenched PJ's, of which she has now noticed she was wearing. Looking at her diamond pickaxe emblazoned sleepwear quizzically, she wondered just what she was up to last night. The sound of hooves hitting dirt met her ears, she turned to spot four ponies running towards her...from over four hundred meters away. Feeling her panic attack gaining momentum, she breathed deeply and filed away her new-found sense of super-hearing for later panicking.
She could clearly make out the sounds of their conversation as they talked various stratagems for dealing with many different types of monsters. As they got closer, she decided to take in the basics of their appearance, which were glaringly different from genetically normal ponies where she lived. One was a butter yellow with a light pink mane, one was lavender with a dark purple mane with a hot pink stripe through it, another had a curling deep purple mane and white coat, and the fourth was pink. Just pink. As they closed within thirty meters of her, the lavender one spoke up:
"Stop right there, monster! You will not harm anypony on my watch!" The clearly female pony yelled in a rehearsed sounding way. "Go back to the Everfree Forest and leave Ponyville alone!" She continued, a previously disregarded horn on her head glowing a bright azure.
"But there's wird wooden wolves in that forest!" Ignis exclaimed, much to the shock of the ponies in front of her.
"Why would a bunch of Timberwolves cause a creature of the Everfree to flee the forest?" The lavender pony demands.
"Because they're fucking terrifying?" Ignis offered.
"True, they are indeed scary." Peach said in agreement.
"And your outfit is atrocious as well." White stated, earning a look of ire from Ignis.
"What did you say?" She asks with barely veiled anger.
"I said that your outfit is atrocious as well." White iterated, causing Lavender to smack her face with one of her hooves. "Whoever designed it clearly has no fashion sense."
"I paid one hundred and twenty dollars for these." Ignis defended, causing white to tut.
"Then you were clearly ripped off, darling." White said with a shake of her head.
"You're going on my shit-list." Ignis said as she reaches into the breast pocket of her pajamas, the same location she keeps her shit-list, no matter the place, attire, or circumstance. Pulling out a folded square of paper and a pencil, she unfolded the paper and began writing. "Number six. Curly purple maned white horse." She said aloud as she wrote, causing White to harrumph.
"How rude." White indignantly tutted. "At least refer to me as lady Rarity." The newly rechristened Rarity said. At which Ignis underlined the word horse multiple times before folding up her shit-list and replacing it and the pencil in her breast pocket.
"O-kay then, now whatever that was is done, how about we discuss why you're in Ponyville and if you have any connection to the Ursa Major Fluttershy reported was heading towards town." Lavender said, earning nods from the other three.
"Well, I woke up in a forest, got chased by some wooden wolves, ran into an impossibly large bear, which scared off the wolves, licked me, and gave me a lift to the edge of the forest, where I then began trekking towards the town and then this happened." Ignis explained.
"Wait, you managed to get an Ursa Major to give you a ride to the edge of the Everfree Forest?" Lavender asked.
"Is that what it's called?" Ignis replies, causing Lavender to facehoof.
"You may as well accompany us to the library so we can talk in a calmer environment." Lavender sighed, motioning for Ignis to follow.
After a few minutes walking, the group came across a rather large tree. Before Ignis could properly take in the sights of the tree, a whistling noise caused an instinctual reaction as she suddenly leapt back slightly. Or at least she meant to. What she did not intend to do was launch herself several dozen feet back, and through a large window pane into a shop. Hearing a loud thud from outside the shop, Ignis crawled to her feet and looked out the window, spying a cerulean blue pony with rainbow hair laying sprawled out on the ground in the space she was previously occupying. Opening the front entrance to the shop and exiting, Ignis slowly walked towards the group as Cerulean regained consciousness. The exact moment she did so, she began yelling.
"Hey! Where'd that ugly monster go?" She growled, not hearing Ignis over the sound of her own voice.
"Careful, Rainbow. You might make her put you on her 'shit-list'." Rarity warned, earning a scoff from Rainbow.
"Puh-lease, I could take that ugly monster with two hooves tied behind my back!" Rainbow boasted.
"I just jumped from where you're standing to that shop over there with enough force to shatter glass." Ignis explained, pointing to the shattered shop window. "Explain how the FUCK I managed to do that." She demanded, causing the ponies to look at her in surprise.
"You mean that sort of speed isn't normal for your species?" Lavender asked.
"Not outside of comic books or manga." Ignis replied, earning quizzical looks. "Nevermind."
"Anyway. Rainbow, why'd you try and attack her?" Lavender glared at Rainbow.
"I thought she was sneaking up on you and was gonna save you from her!" Rainbow explained.
"I do not sneak up. I politely ask for the person’s attention." Ignis said with a humph.
"Like buck you do! You're clearly controlling their minds with some sort of mind control magic!" Rainbow exclaimed, lunging at Ignis, who sidestepped into a lamppost on the other side of the street. Examining the, now severely bent, lamppost, Ignis turned to rainbow.
"Stop doing that! Also why didn't that hurt?!" Ignis yelled, causing Rainbow to pause.
"Oh? And why should I stop?" Rainbow grinned.
"Because it's mean, you jerk!" Ignis yelled at Rainbow, folding her arms and turning away, much to the shock of Rainbow.
"D-did she just call ME a JERK?" She asked, to which the ponies behind her nodded. "B-but all I was doing was saving you from a monster." Rainbow dejectedly stated, tears threatening to fall from her eyes.
"Oh, it's okay Rainbow Dash!" Pink said with hyper-activity. "Everypony makes mistakes. Now why don't you apologise and put in a good word for Rarity?"
"You're right! Hey, miss monster lady!" Rainbow Dash calls out to Ignis, who doesn't turn but still replied.
"I have a name, you jerk." She replied.
"Fine. Then what is it?"
"Ignis. Ignis Spark."
"Alright. I'm sorry for attacking you unprovoked, Ignis Spark. Are we cool?" Rainbow asked slightly pleadingly.
"Very well. But don't do it again, or you're on my shit-list." Ignis threatened, causing Rainbow to shiver involuntarily.
Turning around and rejoining the group, Ignis avoided looking at Rarity as they set off towards the tree, which Ignis now noticed had a door and windows on the lower sections, and a balcony on the upper sections. Stood in the middle of the road, Ignis had a blank look on her face. After a few more steps the ponies noticed her lagging behind and turned to look at her.
"What's wrong?" Lavender asked.
"Why is that tree a house?" Is all Ignis asked.
After a minor mental breakdown at the logic behind a still living tree being completely hollowed out and used as a library slash residence, Ignis followed the ponies inside where Lavender used some sort of power to make several couches appear in the center of the main room. More belayed panic attack fodder. Sitting down on the couch opposite the one the ponies were sitting on, Ignis stared at them, not knowing what they wanted. After a while, Lavender entered the room with a tray of cups and a boiling kettle. Having not noticed Lavender leaving the room, or being absent, Ignis was slightly surprised at the presence of hot beverages.
"I made us some tea. I hope you like hay-tea." Lavender said as she poured six cups of tea. which Ignis politely refused, much to the disappointment of Lavender.
"Oh, uh, it's nothing personal, I'm just incredibly allergic to hay." Ignis explained, earning an understanding oh from Lavender.
"Well then, let's get onto introductions, shall we?" Rarity asked. Upon everyone nodding, she clears her throat to begin speaking. "I am Rarity, fashionista extraordinaire. I own and operate the Carousel Boutique, you should stop by sometime so I can make you a better ensemble."
Clearing her throat, Rainbow Dash spoke next. "I'm Rainbow Dash, fastest flyer in Equestria, and future Wonderbolt!" She boasted.
"I'm Fluttershy." Fluttershy said almost inaudibly, though Ignis was still able to hear it perfectly fine.
"I"m Pinkamena Diane Pie, but you can call me Pinkie Pie for short. I like throwing parties!" Pinkie exclaimed.
"And I'm Twilight Sparkle, personal student of princess Celestia and resident librarian of Ponyville. The only pony not here is Applejack. She co-owns Sweet Apple Acres alongside her brother and little sister." Twilight said. "Now, how about you properly introduce yourself?"
"Okay then. I'm Ignis Spark, head programmer at Atlas Industries Robotics Division, and I like gaming, manga, comic books, cartoons, and anime." Ignis stated, earning her looks of confusion at most of her introduction.
"What's ‘Atlas Industries Robotics Division'?" Twilight asked.
"The sub division of Atlas Industries that deals with the design and manufacture of robots?" Ignis rhetorically stated. "You act like you don't know what a robot is." She finished with a scoff.
"We don't." Rarity said, causing Ignis to stare at her with a deadpan look.
"You're shitting me. How can you not know what a robot is? They're one of the most common things in the world nowadays. Right after Quantum Computers and Levi-spheres."
"Wow. Your species sounds so much more advanced than us." Twilight gaped, a sudden manic look appearing in her eyes. "You wouldn't happen to know how most of these technologies work, would you?"
"Prime Directive." Is all Ignis said, shooting down all of Twilight's questions preemptively.
"Do you like cupcakes?!" Pinkie asks.
"I guess?"
"Do you like animals?" Fluttershy mumbles.
"Never seen one. Hell, I've never even left the city I live in."
"How could there be no animals in your home city?" Twilight asked.
"Well, it covers approximately four hundred and seventy square kilometres, so there's that." Hearing a thud, Ignis looked towards the collapsed form of Twilight. "Is she going to be okay?"
"Information overload, deary. This kind of thing happens more often than you'd think." Rarity chimed in. The sound of running from outside the library caught Ignis' attention. Turning to look at the door, she sees an orange pony running towards the library from a few hundred metres away.
"Say, is this Applejack orange, with a blonde mane and tail, both in ponytails?"
"Yes, how do you know that?" Rainbow asked.
"Because she's charging towards the library." Just then, Applejack burst in through the front door, panting heavily.
"Twalight! I heard there was a monster in town and came as soon as Ah could." Applejack panted.
"Oh, well we've already sol-" Fluttershy began, before she was cut off by Applejack.
"Monster! Don't worry, Ah'll save ya!" She yelled as she hurled a lasso at where Ignis was milliseconds prior. Looking at where her lasso landed, Applejack looked around for Ignis, spotting her embedded in a bookcase.
"Why does that keep happening?!" She yelled from under a pile of books.
"W-what?!" Applejack exclaimed, feeling Fluttershy nuzzle her.
"She doesn't know how she can move so fast either." Fluttershy explained, trotting over to help uncover Ignis.
"Oh. So there ain't no monster attacking Ponyville?" Applejack questioned.
"No, only miss Spark here and her... Uniqueness." Rarity explained.
"So there ain't a monster attacking Ponyville?"
"No, just a very confused pony." Fluttershy said.
"Not a pony, so don't call me one." Ignis piped up as she stood up from the pile of books she was buried under.
"Then what are you?" Rainbow queried.
"I'm a human, and proud of it." Ignis said, picking up her plushie.
"Okay, so, should we try and wake Twalight up and get 'er to send a letter to princess Celestia?" Applejack asked.
After a few minutes trying to resuscitate Twilight, she finally awoke.
"We need to tell princess Celestia about Ignis!" She exclaimed the moment she regained consciousness. A further few minutes later and she's penned a letter to princess Celestia. "Spike! I need you to send a letter to princess Celestia!" She called out. The pitter-patter of small feet echoing down the stairs soon after.
"Don't even have text messaging." Ignis mumbled.
"Alright Twilight!" A childlike voice called out as a small reptile descended the stairs. Grabbing the piece of rolled up parchment in his claws, Spike exhaled green flames onto it, causing it to turn into ash that was whisked away on the wind.
"The fuck was that?" Ignis asked in shock.
"That was just me sending a letter to princess Celestia." Spike said, prompting Ignis to stare at him.
"You set it on fire, you lizardy freak." She stated, causing Twilight to gasp.
"Don't insult Spike just because you've never seen something sent by dragon-fire." Twilight scolded.
"I'm twenty three and make fifty million dollars a year, what makes you think you can talk to me like I'm a child?" Ignis Asked.
"F-fifty MILLION?!" Rarity stammered, nearly fainting.
"Yes, fifty million. You act as though I’m a super rich person."
"The richest pony in Equestria is only worth four million bits. You earn more than twelve times they own in a year." Rarity elaborated.
"Oh. Okay then. So I'm impossibly rich by your guys standards. Neat-o. My first action is to... You guys have EFTPOS here, right?"
"What's EFTPOS?"
"Aaaand I can't use any of my money here, brilliant."
"Why can't you use any of your money here? Surely you could just exchange it for bits?" Twilight asked.
"Nope, it's all in electronic format. Can't touch a cent of it without access to some form of digital transaction machine."
"Oh, well I'm sure we can set you up with some funds." Rarity said, hoping to get her name taken off of Ignis' shit-list.
"Okay, even with an exchange rate of one hundred dollars to one bit. That will bring the total amount of money I have in this world to two million bits."
"You have a personal fortune of over two hundred million?!" Rarity bellowed, fainting onto a couch-like thing that appeared out of nowhere.
"I am sorta responsible for there no longer being spontaneous outbreaks of rampaging robots across the planet." Ignis chimed in.
"So, you're really good at your job?"
"Indeed I am, was working on a prototype that I can't talk about due to a non-disclosure agreement I signed."
"Wow, you must be really awesome." Rainbow suddenly said, earning her looks. "Well it's true! She has more wealth than the richest pony in Equestria, she must clearly be awesome if she earned that in... Uh, how long did it take you to amass that fortune?" Rainbow asked.
"Well, I started when I was eighteen, and I'm now twenty three. So five years."
"Wow." Is all the response Rainbow gave her. After a few minutes of awkward silence, the others began talking amongst themselves while Ignis walked over to a bookshelf and began perusing the books. Finding none, she returned to the location of her creeper plushie and pulled down a well hidden sipper on its side, the sound causing all the ponies to look at her as she pulled out a black cylinder from within.
"What's that?" Twilight asked.
"My laptop, there's nothing to read here so I'm gonna read some manga." Ignis replied, flicking her wrist which caused the cylinder to roll out into a rectangle.
"What's a laptop?"
"Something only I can use, so stop questioning me." Ignis said as she poked a section on the rectangle. After a second, the entire rectangle lit up with letters and weird words. Once the rectangle was lit up, two small sticks flipped up, whereupon a slightly blue-tinted screen appeared between them, matching the dimensions of the black rectangle perfectly.
"Whoa, where can I get one?" Rainbow asked in awe.
"Any electronics store sells 'em for sixteen thousand dollars each." Ignis said with a shrug, tapping away on the screen of her laptop.
"Is that like a small portable computer?" Twilight asks.
"Huh, I thought you pre-industrials wouldn't know of computers, proved me wrong. Yeah, it's a small computer basically."
"What's it's processing power? I bet it's at least fifty megahertz."
"More like fifteen point six terahertz twenty-core molecular processor." A thud followed this statement as Twilight collapsed into unconsciousness once more. "Didn't even get to the seven hundred and ninety two terabytes of ram it has."
"Wow, you must be REALLY advanced if you have computers that powerful." Applejack said.
"Actually, until ten years ago, the most powerful computers you could get only had, at most, thirty gigahertz of processing power."
"Whoa nelly, your kind sure did make one heck of a leap forwards."
"I guess so. So, how long until this princess Celeste replies?"
"It's princess Celestia, and she actually just replied." Spike said, holding up a rolled up piece of parchment. "I think we should wait for Twi to regain consciousness before we read it." He suggested, all the ponies present nodding in agreement. After another few minutes past, Twilight finally regained consciousness for the third time that day. Ignis was sitting in a corner busy with her laptop.
"Spike, has the princess replied yet?" Twilight asked Spike, who nodded in the affirm.
"Yup, want me to read it aloud?" He questioned. Clearing his throat at Twilight's nod, he opened the scroll and began reading aloud. "To my dearest Student Twilight Sparkle, I know not of any creature that matches the description you sent in your letter, nor do I know of its capabilities. It is my strong opinion that you should allow her to reside in Ponyville until such a time as you can ascertain whether she is a menace to Equestria or not.
Signed,
Princess Celestia, Solar Diarch of Equestria." Spike finished a with a bow.
"Okay, so where should she stay?" Twilight asked.
"Not Rarity's." Ignis declared.
"I'm fine with that, but I will be getting your measurements to make you a wardrobe of fashionable clothes."
"Touch me and suffer." Ignis threatened.
"Whoa, whoa! No need to resort to threats." Applejack said in an attempt to negate the hostilities.
"As long as Rarity doesn't come near me." Ignis growled.
"I make no promises." Rarity replied.
"Right, well then, where should Ignis stay? I know my place is out of the question, unless it turns out she has pegasus magic in her." Rainbow stated.
"Hmm, She can't stay at Sugar-cube Corner, either. Fluttershy doesn't have any guest rooms, and she hates Rarity. So that leaves only Applejack's and the library." Twilight logically concluded.
"Ah reckon she could stay at mah farm, put some o' 'er muscle to use bucking apples." Applejack nodded, her heart set on the choice.
"Can't." Is all Ignis said in response.
"Why not?"
"Because I have a hay allergy; the remnants of a severe respiratory problem, and a heart condition." Ignis explained, suddenly smacking herself in the face.
"Why'd you do that?" Rainbow Queried.
"Just realised I don't have my nitrogen pills on me. So I'm dead sometime in the next month when my heart suddenly stops beating." Ignis answered, much to the horror of the ponies and dragon.
"So, unless we get you one of these nitrogen pills, you're gonna die?"
"Yes. Don't suppose you guys have any pharmacies around here, do you? Also I need to take one per day."
"I think the hospital might be able to make you some." Twilight suggested.
"Then we'll head there tomorrow, I accidentally took two yesterday, so I should be fine. Also gotta remember to pack spares inside Sid here in case I run out." Ignis said, hugging her plushie to her chest.
"Alright, so she's staying at the library for now."
"Can't."
"Don't tell me, you're allergic to ink?"
"No, it's a library. Libraries don't have bedrooms."
"Oh... I was just going to put you in the basement..." Twilight trailed off at the look Ignis was giving her.
"I am not sleeping in a moldy basement. I live in a bloody hundred and sixth floor penthouse, for fuck sake." Ignis said, denying Twilight's offer of a basement dwelling.
"Wait, you live on the hundred and sixth floor of a building?"
"Yup, corporate housing. Don't want their greatest programmer being poached by a rival."
"Sweet Celestia... How tall are the buildings your species builds?" Twilight asked with a salivatory look.
"Well, the tallest one clocks in at just under a kilometer tall, and is the headquarters of the largest corporation on the planet. Infinity Enterprises."
"Wow." Is the only response that was received.
"So, this town got any hotels I could stay at?"
"I guess, though I'm not sure they'd rent a room out to you."
"Then I'll just place a sign outside their establishment decrying the owner to be heavily racist." Ignis explained.
"Alright, but how will you pay?"
"Can't you ask this princess person to allot me a housing fund until I can fend for myself?"
"No way! I can't ask the princess for something like that!" Twilight yelled. A sudden burp from spike causing her to turn her head.
"The princess just sent a follow up letter alongside five hundred bits. The letter reads: ‘PS, use these bits to rent her a nice hotel, I wouldn't want her to have to impose on you.’ Huh, looks like she already thought of it."
"Fine. We'll go rent you a hotel room."
"Alright! I'll go start planning her 'Welcome to Ponyville, sorry for thinking you were a monster' party!" Pinkie bellowed before she flashed out the door before anypony could object.
"So that just happened." Ignis said, breaking the silence whilst she put her laptop back inside Sid the Creeper. "Let's go hotel hunting!" She then exclaimed, grabbing Twilight and Spike and dragging them out the door.
After a trek around town, Ignis and co finally came across a hotel. Waltzing up to the entrance, Twilight stepped in front of Ignis. "Perhaps I should go in and rent the room for you. Don't want the owner to get scared."
"Alright then, come and get me when you've rented me a room." Ignis said, sitting down on a bench outside next to a gawking light turquoise unicorn pony. After a few minutes the look became annoying. "Can I help you?"
"Please don't eat me?" The unicorn asked meekly.
"I don't eat meat."
"Oh thank Celestia."
"Not even I can afford the real stuff, have to buy the pre-fab stuff. Tastes HORRIBLE. Like, imagine a moldy old sock. It's about as bad as eating one of those."
"P-pre-fab meat. Your kind makes its own meat?" The pony asked, a glimmer of hope in her eyes.
"Yeah, huge factories dedicated to it. Man, what I wouldn't give for some real beef, and not that nutrient packed, fat-less, healthy crap they force you to buy at the shops."
"What?"
"Though, then again it could taste horrible because I am the worst cook in the world. Even hold the record for worst cook, believe it or not. I once set fire on fire. I know, I don't know how I did it either." Ignis said, causing the pony to look at her weirdly.
"You set fire...on fire?" The pony deadpanned.
"Yup, not even sure how I did it."
"That's obviously a lie."
"Nope. Even have a photo." At this Ignis pulled out her laptop and pulled up a photo. A photo of fire being on fire. The pony looked at the photo evidence for a few seconds before a trickle of blood came out of her nose. "Don't try to think on it, just accept it happened." Nodding dumbly, the pony got up and walked into a lamppost, knocking itself unconscious.
"Ignis, your room is settled, and what did you do to Lyra?" Twilight asked when she exited the building.
"Told her the story of how I once set fire on fire." Ignis said as she shut down her laptop and entered the building, a yell of terror quickly followed. Following her in, Twilight beheld the sight of a cowering cashier and a laughing Ignis.
"What's so funny?" Twilight asked.
"He slipped on a nailed down rug."
"... Let's just get you settled into your room so I can get back to preparing for tonight." Twilight said, leading Ignis towards a set of stairs. After ascending them, she handed Ignis a key with one hundred and four engraved on it. "That's the key to your room. You have it for three months." Twilight said, turning around to go down the stairs.
"And the change?" Grumbling under her breath, Twilight levitated a sack of bits over to Ignis, who happily snatched them out of the air, followed by merrily skipping to her room. Wondering what was up with her, Twilight descended the stairs and went back to the library. Inside her room, Ignis was setting about pulling various gadgets out of Sid. Once she had emptied his storage section, she overlooked her haul: Ten micro-holo-projectors which never worked properly in the first place, her laptop, an external hard drive, a wireless solar panel, and a pair of insanely expensive headphones. Nodding at her loot, she set about placing the holo-projectors at various points around the room. After several minutes, she had arranged the projectors in such a way that she could view and interact with them all from the quite large bed in her room. Flicking on her laptop and setting it to automatically seek out wireless devices, she walked over to the rooms window and opened it, scanning the outside wall. Spotting a good spot, she placed her wireless solar panel, which immediately adhered to the wall. Pressing the on button and closing the window, she then drew the curtains and hopped on the bed.
Entering a few commands, all the holo-projectors lit up; some projecting screens, whilst two merely just lit up. Entering another set of commands, an ethereal mouse and keyboard appeared before her as the screens finally synced with her laptop, allowing her to open various programs on each. Picking up her headphones, she placed them on her head and pressed the connect button. Once her preparations were done she got comfortable and settled down for a night of gaming as the sun set.
Author's Note
So, I'm doing this. Also, Ignis Spark is from the year 2036, so future stuff.
Ignis awoke to find herself sprawled out on a bed with a random anime playing on one of her holoscreens. With a simple hand gesture she closed the window and rolled off of the bed onto the floor with a thump. Standing up with a groan, she waddled her way to the bathroom where she picked up a non-existent toothbrush and put some non-existent toothpaste on it, wetting it under the tap, she stuck it in her mouth, not realizing that said items didn't exist until she picked them up. Spitting and then rinsing, she started up the shower as she took off her pajamas and folded them on the bed. Returning to the bathroom she stepped into the now hot shower and began soaking her hair. After a few seconds she had a sudden realization came to her. "Wait a minute... Hotels don't HAVE toothbrushes or toothpaste... THE FUCK DID THEY COME FROM?!" She yelled out. Returning to her morning grooming with a grumble, she grabbed some previously non-existent shampoo and began lathering her hair. Rinsing the shampoo, she began covering her body in, yet again non-existent, body wash.
After finishing her shower she dried off with a towel and set about brushing her hair with a complementary hairbrush. With a nod of satisfaction that her shoulder length auburn hair was sufficiently brushed, she reentered the room and saw something sitting on the bed.
[he]
Somewhere in the Everfree Forest the cutie mark crusaders had gotten themselves into one hell of a situation. Surrounded by timberwolves on one side, and facing the Everfree Witch on the other. Cowering at their inevitable fate, they watch as the cackling unicorn approached with maniacal glee in her eyes. "So, you thought you could trespass in my forest and get away with it, you little brats? Well you've got another thing coming your way now." She cackled, scaring the timberwolves away and causing the fillies to cower harder. "Let's see how you like spending the rest of your lives as chickens!" The witch threatened, when suddenly a squeal of suck unbridled happiness as to cause the sun to spontaneously glow brighter, swept across the forest. For an inexplicable reason, the witch wanted to give the fillies a gift and shoo them on instead of turning them into chickens for all of eternity. Rummaging in her saddlebags, she procured three necklaces. "Put these on, they'll ward off the creatures of the Everfree." She said, causing the fillies to look at her weirdly.
"Y-you're not gonna turn us into chickens?" Scootaloo whimpered.
"No. Now take them and scram!" The witch yelled, prompting the CMC to grab the neckalces and flee.
Back in Ponyville, Ignis held in her hands one of her most prized and treasured possessions. Her teddy bear Alexander the Cuddly. With a grin that would've put Pinkie Pie to shame on her face, she giddily twirled around the room while her only friend was clutched tightly to her chest. A knock on her door sent to spinning toward it with mirthful glee. She opened the door to find a white pony in golden armor standing there with a stoic look.
"You are under arrest for disturbing the peace, come quietly and your sentence will be reduced." The stated blandly. A deadpan look on Ignis' face his only answer before the door slammed in his face as giggling resumed on the other side, followed by sickeningly sweet cutesie talk that almost made the guard dry heave. Smashing against the door, the guard tried to break it down, only to fail. With a grumble, he left the hotel to retrieve a battering ram. Inside the room, Ignis was in the midst of putting her pajamas on. Fully garbed, she grabbed her teddy bear and exited the room, closing the door behind her and exiting the Hotel, a hefty bag of bits clutched in her other hand.
Exiting the building, she looked for some form of cafe or restaurant. While walking around Ponyville looking for a place to get food, she didn't notice all the weird looks the ponies were giving her. Sighting a gingerbread house house, she veered towards it, assuming it sold food. Walking through the door, her auditory senses were immediately assaulted by a pink blur. Looking at the babbling pink blur in confusion, she sidestepped around it and neared the counter, a blue mare standing behind it that appeared to have a glandular problem as she was sweating profusely. Standing in front of the counter she read the menu behind the sweaty mare on the wall. Her mind made up she placed her order. "Hello profusely sweating pony person, I would like two of those breakfast cupcake things, and a cup of coffee."
"O-o-okay, m-miss. That'll be s-seven bits." The mare stuttered.
"Wow, shit's cheap here. This'd probably cost seven hundred dollars where I come from." Ignis said, handing the mare seven of the coins in her pouch.
"That sounds e-expensive."
"Yeah... World economy ain't doing too well where I come from. But that third world war lurking on the horizon should fix that rather quickly." Grabbing her order, she sat down on a nearby table, looking at the still babbling pink pony by the front door. She began eating with a shrug, enjoying her first taste of real sugar is six years. "Oooooh, I nearly forgot how good real sugar tasted, stupid plague killing off sugar cane plants." She grumbled, ignoring Pinkie's gasp.
"How could you nearly forget how sugar tastes?!" The pink pony said, suddenly on the table in front of Ignis.
"Plant species that it's made from was wiped out by a plague, just like all water life, and apple trees."
"Whoa, your world must suck." Pinkie surmised.
"Yeah, so I might not go back if I have the chance. Hell they'll probably fire me for winding up in another universe without clearing it with them first."
"Well, your parties at six." Pinkie said, vanishing in a blur.
"What a weird pony-person." Ignis muttered, sipping from her coffee.
Twilight was freaking out about how she could coerce Ignis into sharing her wealth of knowledge with her. Wishing she bothered to learn that mind reading spell, she sighed and slumped against her chair, having resigned to just pleading with her until she cracked. She levitated a book over to her and started to read it. With a sigh of exasperation she set the book down and trotted towards the libraries exit. She instead found herself being bowled over by a cyan blur that crashed through one of the windows. With a dazed groan, she looked up and saw Rainbow Dash's apologetic grin. "Rainbow, what have I told about using the front door?" Twilight deadpanned.
"That, uh, I should use it instead of the windows?" Rainbow Dash cringed.
"Exactly, could you get off of me?"
"Sure. So, are you gonna go see Ignis?"
"I guess?"
"Mind if I tag along? I wanna see if she can pull of those jumps she did yesterday again."
"Rrrrright, well let's get going." With that Twilight and Rainbow exited the library in search of Ignis. It didn't take them long as they came across her exiting Sugar Cube Corner. Taking note of the teddy bear clutched in her grasp, Twilight approached Ignis. "So, I was wondering... Could you tell me about where you're from?"
"I guess? I mean, it's not like I'll be telling you the intricacies of how a cold fusion reactor operates." With a gesture, she led them to a convenient bench nearby. Once they were all sat down she started speaking again. "Right, so, where I come from, everything has gone to shit."
"W-what?!" Twilight exclaimed.
"Geez, let me continue. Anyway, as I was saying, everything has gone to shit, polar ice caps are melting, world economy is gasping its last raspy breaths, China and Russia have formed a coalition with India and are invading Europe, a meteor crashed in the ocean and unleashed an alien virus that killed all sea life and gave birth to the greatest terror the world has ever known, Sea Bees, and quite a few plants have gone extinct, limiting the amount of farmable crops."
"What's a Sea Bee?" Rainbow asked.
"Imagine a bee with dark blue and gray stripes. Now imagine it three times the size of me, able to swim at speeds of up to three hundred kilometres an hour, and top it all off with a poisonous sting that melts the flesh of anyone hit with it. And yes, no one lives near the oceans anymore. Fuckers can walk on land."
"I, see. So, I take it that even if you could go home, you wouldn't want to?" Twilight asked.
"Yup, fucking six hundred dollars for a cup of coffee. Not to mention the impending third world war and the potential Armageddon looming in the distance. So all-in-all, I'd rather stay here." She nodded, leaning back on the bench.
"So, how about you show me those moves you pulled earlier, eh?" Rainbow asked.
"The fuck are you, Canadian? And I'll try, not really sure HOW I did it though." With that she stood up and crouched, tensing her leg muscles in preparation to jump. She then tried to jump lightly. She instead jumped twelve metres into the air, before she began to plummet to the ground below, landing with a loud thud. With a look at herself she could only gargle incoherent responses.
"Whoa, you jumped really high there. But I bet you can't beat me in a race!" Rainbow boasted.
"You can fly, seems hardly fair to me." Ignis said, flicking her wrist absently, the effect was almost instantaneous. A burst of plasma burst forth from her hand, incinerating the nearby fountain. "OHGODSWHY?!" She screeched as she tried to help put out the burning rocks of the former fountain.
"That. Was. AWESOME!" Rainbow exclaimed, oblivious to the minor panic attack Ignis was having and the threat of incendiary stone near wooden structures.
"Less fanfillying and more rain making!" Twilight yelled, snapping Rainbow into action as she bolted around gathering up clouds and placing them over the burning fountain. Ignis was trying to put out the fire by making wild hand gestures, only succeeding in making the fire brighter or change colours. With a frantic clap, the fire turned into water and splashed on the ground. With a look of shock, Ignis said only one thing.
"Did I do that?"
After seeing Ignis through a minor panic attack, Twilight asked Rainbow to gather their friends. Once all were assembled, she explained the events of what happened in the marketplace and recited what Ignis had told her of her home world. With a heaving sigh, Twilight turned to check on Ignis, who stared at her hands with a terrified expression. "So girls, what do you think we should do about Ignis?"
"I think we should inform the Princesses about this power of hers. The ability to shoot plasma and turn fire into water sounds rather dangerous, perhaps she'll know how to help Ignis control it?" Rarity suggested.
"We could just ditch 'er back in the Everfree, problem solved." Applejack grumbled.
"I-I think we should help her her... Um, if that's okay with you." Fluttershy whispered.
"I think we should help her learn to use her cool power." Rainbow Agreed.
"I think we should throw her a "Congratulations on being able to control particles!' party!" Pinkie confetti-ed, lathering the room in a burst of confetti.
"Well, I guess we should inform the Princess about this, she could help." Twilight decided, ignoring Pinkie's outburst. "Spike! Take a letter!" Twilight called out, her draconic assistant waddling down the stairs at her call.
"Right away Twilight!" He said, wielding a quill and piece of parchment.
Clearing her throat, Twilight began dictating a letter to Princess Celestia. "Dear Princess Celestia. After an accident involving Ignis, I have discovered that she has the ability to shoot gout's of plasma from her hands and turn fire into water. I humbly request that you send me any books from the Royal Archives pertaining to this sort of ability, your faithul student, Twilight Sparkle." With a look over the finished letter, she gave Spike the command to send it. A few minutes later He belched up another scroll. Taking it in her magic, twilight opened it up and read aloud. "Dear Twilight, I am intrigued to hear of this new development, but unfortunately, I have never heard of this ability before and cannot find anything on it in the archives. I am sure your will be able to help her learn to control this power and am eagerly awaiting a report on what she is capable. Signed Princess Celestia."
"Oh darn. Well Ah guess we'd better help 'er out." Applejack said.
"But didn't you want to throw her into the Everfree forest?" Rarity asked.
"Nope." Applejack lied, badly.
"Anyway, we should take Ignis out somewhere non-flammable location to help her learn how to control her power." Twilight said, picking the still sulking Ignis up in her magic and exiting the library
EXPOSITION!
Ignis looked around her, taking in the sights of a barren rocky field. She turned to look at the six ponies standing next to her. At their nods, she stepped forwards and made a motion with her hands. Which, instead of shooting plasma as it did earlier, shot a beam of light. With another nod, she tried to focus her mind, imagining a giant statue of a catgirl in front of her. The image firm in her head, she flicked her fingers and the air coalesced into a marble statue of a catgirl, much to her awe. "Holy shit! I can control matter!" She cheered, an absent flick of her hand blasted out a strong microwave burst that melted the the catgirl statue. Looking at the remnants of her surprising grasp on hr new power, she grinned sheepishly. "Or I guess I can control the basic building blocks of the universe?"
After several more hours of various experimenting, she had discovered she could only control so many particles at once before she reached the limit of her powers. With that knowledge firm in her mind, she returned to her hotel room and loaded up a random movie, settling down to watch her designated entertainment. for the night.
Author's Note
Yup, I'll be writing each chapter as one whole day of her time in Equestria.
Ignis awoke to tutting and the sound of hooves on wood. Opening her eyes, she saw Rarity stands next to her bed with several measuring tapes, a quill, an inkpot, and a piece of parchment in her telekinesis. With a glare, Ignis turned the floor beneath Rarity into sponge. Watching Rarity fall through the floor, Ignis repaired the floor with a flick of her fingers before entering the bathroom and performing her daily routine. Upon exiting the bathroom, completely clean, she decided to see the extent of her fine control over her Particle Manipulation. With a moderate amount of thought, she began materializing a white, knee length dress around herself, slitting one side of the dress from the waist down. With a bit more effort, she began materializing some panties and a bra, having realised she had been going commando for the past three days. She finished off by willing the air around her legs to turn into thigh high white lace stockings, and a pair of high heels on her feet. Feeling particularly fancy, she coalesced a white fedora with a black band around it on her head, completing the ensemble and making her feel extra fancy.
Giving herself a once over, she nodded at her choice of outfit for the day and exited the hotel, waltzing out onto the streets of Ponyville once more. Ignoring the passersby, she made a bee-line for Sugar Cube Corner, her stomach rumbling with a nigh insatiable hunger. Upon entering the establishment, she heard a whistle from the counter, looking at the cashier, she noticed that instead of the blue mare from yesterday, there was a yellow stallion. "Those're some fancy lookin' clothes you've got there, did you get Rarity to make them for ya?" He asked, not a hint of fear in his voice.
"Nope, made 'em myself." Ignis proudly replied.
"Then you've clearly got some taste, you should head on up to Canterlot, might get yourself a job as a fashion designer up there." The stallion said.
"Why aren't you afraid of me?" Ignis asked perplexedly at the stallions amicable and non-threatened attitude.
"Pinkie told me and my wife about how you saved that filly yesterday. That was a good deed you performed there. Whatever you order is on the house, take it as thanks for saving that filly from the Diamond Dogs."
"Alright then, one cup of coffee and two breakfast cupcakes." Ignis ordered. After a minute the stallion had her order ready and she went to sit down and began eating her breakfast. As she was eating, Pinkie existed before her with a huge grin on her face.
"Guess what?!" She excitably yelled.
"What?" Ignis guessed, taking a sip of coffee.
"I'm throwing you your 'Welcome to Ponyville' party here at seven, won't that be interesting?" Pinkie exclaimed.
"Not one for social gatherings." Ignis coolly replied, finishing off the last of her breakfast cupcakes.
"Don't worry, you've NEVER been to a party like a Pinkie Party!" The insane reality bending mare giddily shouted.
"Okay then... I'm just going to go now, might talk to Twilight about getting some sort of job around town, or just what there is to do." Ignis said, slowly creeping away from Pinkie Pie and her never ending smile of excitment. Outside, Ignis heard a commotion coming from the market place, deciding she had nothing better to do, she went to investigate. What she found confused her completely, standing there in all their seven foot glory was a minotaur with a tattoo of a cobra on his left arm. He appeared to be standing on a cart loaded with guns, of all things. As she got closer, she decided to pay attention to what the minotaur was saying.
"-And with my patented designs, you'll never have to worry about any timberwolves or manticores attacking you!" The minotaur finished, eliciting a round of murmurs from the crowd. Approaching the Minotaur, Ignis spoke up.
"Alright, lets have a look at your 'patented designs'." She said, motioning for the minotaur to pass her a guns. Smirking proudly, the minotaur tossed her a rifle that resembled an M1 Garand. Snatching it out of the air as the minotaur began speaking once more.
"I see you're interested in my designs? Give it a try, lets see how well someone who has obviously been living a pampered life handles a real weapon." The minotaur grinned. Flicking the safety off after checking it was loaded, Ignis took aim at a squirrel eating nuts in a tree. Sighting the squirrel, she pulled the trigger, missing entirely and hitting the tree instead. With a laugh the minotaur began speaking again. "My, my, clearly you've never been taught how to aim. What were you even shooting at?" He asked.
"That." Ignis replied, pointing at the tree with the oblivious squirrel on it, that also happened to be one and a half kilometres away. Pulling out a telescope, the Minotaur gasped in shock.
"Well cover me in honey and throw me in the path of a rampaging bear, you got within a metre of that bugger without even using a scope! Your species must have legendary eyesight, miss." The minotaur said with awe.
"Nope, just me. Though I might one of these, preferably something that doesn't require aiming. You got any shotguns or machineguns?" Ignis asked, earning her a blank look from the minotaur.
"What's a machinegun?"
"It-it's like a rifle, only it has magazines that hold the ammo and can fire either one shot, a burst of three bullets, or fire bullets until the mag runs dry. How can you not know what they are?"
"Firearms have only been around for thirty years, what you just described is decades ahead of current technology."
"Not for my species, we have guns that have a maximum fire rate of a million bullets per minute."
"By Ramsus! Such firepower must surely be rare?" The minotaur asked with a pleading look in his eyes.
"Sort of, there's no way to keep the damn things feed with enough ammo to reach its maximum potential. Though I preferred working with lasers. Something about launching a beam of concentrated heat and light at someone just seems so, right." Ignis said.
"Your species can create non-magical lasers? You truly are a marvelous race." The minotaur said, humbled by the knowledge he gained.
"Yeah... So, you got anything that packs more punch?"
"Well, I do have a rifle that shoots seven millimetre long bullets. Will that do?"
"Sounds reasonable, what's the price?"
"Six hundred and ten bits for the gun itself, and eighteen per ten bullets."
"Well, here goes nothing." Ignis thought aloud grabbing a bit from her coin sack. Concentrating with all her might to feel out the entirety of the coins make-up, she began grabbing as much air around her as she could in her conceptual grasp, willing them to mimic the exact pattern of the coin in her grasp. A sudden glow encompassed the square, causing the ponies to gasp in fear. Just as soon as the light appeared, it vanished, leaving behind a heavily panting Ignis, who was surrounded by a mountainous pile of bits. "Will. Will this cover it?" She asked, panting heavily from the exertion.
"That should do it." The minotaur numbly said, grabbing the gun and several hundred rounds of ammo. "Might set up a shop in this town." The minotaur said as he hopped off his cart, walking over to Ignis and handing the panting woman her purchased goods. Ignis took them gratefully and went and sat on a nearby bench, placing her large amount of ammo and rifle next to her. Deciding to rest her eyes a bit, Ignis takes a nap.
Ignis found her self rudely awoken by a furious poking at her shin, looking down at the offender, she spotted Sweetie Belle alongside a yellow filly with a red mane and tail and an orange pegasus with a purple mane and tail, all three sitting in front of her patiently. Looking to her left, she spied her rifle and ammo untouched. Looking to her left she could only see chest. Tilting her head slightly, she saw that the minotaur gunsmith was sitting next to her. Deciding to address the fillies first she spoke. "What do you three want?"
"We were wondering if you could teach us how you made all those coins appear." The yellow one asked.
"And you are?" Ignis asked.
"Ah'm Applebloom, this is Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo." She said, pointing at the respective owners of the names when she spoke them.
"Okay. Well I can't teach you what I did earlier, because only I can do it."
"That sounds a little egotistical, just because you can do it, what makes you think other ponies can't?" Scootaloo asked.
"Because only I possess the power to manipulate particles in this land?"
"Oh... Yeah that'd be a valid reason." Scootaloo said, dejectedly.
"Well, could you at least give us an idea on how to get our cutie marks?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"Hmm." Ignis hummed. "Well, you could try carpentry, you could try singing, and you could try... Interpretive dance?" Ignis said, pointing to Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo in turn. With huge smiles the trio ran away to try out her suggestions.
"So, I see you're good with foals as well?" The minotaur commented.
"The last time I was near a child, I was temporarily interred in an insane asylum because I wouldn't stop crying."
"Oh, perhaps you just had poor luck?" The minotaur questioned.
"Nope, turns out it was actually a rapist with proportional dwarfism, got me when my back was turned." Ignis said with a shudder, a strong hand clamping on her shoulder.
"You must have some pretty terrible luck. The name's Gunther, by the way." The minotaur said.
"I'm Ignis Spark." Ignis said, shaking a proffered hand.
"Don't suppose you'd know of any places near here I could rent to set up shop in, would you?"
"Nope, only got here a few days ago, after being nearly assaulted twice."
"Hmm, well I suppose I could always ask the mayor. But just remember this: You ever need some more ammo or maintenance done on your guns, just come see me, I'll give you a thirty percent discount."
"You're also the only gunsmith in town."
"That helps." He said with a mischievous grin. "Well I'll be off, I have a mayor to ask about rental properties. Nice hat by the way." Gunther said, waving goodbye as he got up and walked into the crowded roads. Shaking her head, Ignis gathered her things and set off towards Twilight's.
Upon arriving at the library, Ignis butt bounced the door open and walked inside. Looking around she spotted Twilight staring intently at a book. Walking over to her, Ignis deposited her gun and ammo on the nearest table, causing a clatter that roused Twilight from her stare-off with a book. Looking at her with blinking eyes, Twilight smiled. "Oh, hello there, you're probably the first pony not to knock before entering." Twilight remarked.
"Well it is a public library." Ignis stated.
"True, though most ponies tend to forget that since I live here. So what brings you here?"
"I was wondering if you knew of any jobs I could take here in town. I'm also thinking on whether or not I should try and buy some land, in case I ever want to build a house or something like that."
"Well, there's no openings at the moment anywhere in Ponyville, but if you're willing to travel, I'm sure Applejack wouldn't mind recommending you to her cousins in Appleloosa."
"Lemme guess, desert town." Ignis said.
"How'd you guess?"
"With a name like Appleloosa, it's not hard to guess where it is."
"Never thought of it that way, but if you feel up to bucking apples six hours a day, I'm sure they'd be welcome to have you."
"Ooooor, I could NOT go and work in a desert town and not get stabbed by a thug."
"Well, I guess Appleloosa isn't one of the safest places in equestria, but I doubt anypony'd stab you." Twilight said, waving a hoof in dismissal.
"Still, I'm not about to go to the ass end of nowhere for some bad paying job. I just want something local to occupy my time. Don't want to get sucked into another gaming binge."
"What's so wrong with a gaming binge?"
"Bought a VR interface, blew through most of my games in the first week. All that was left were some... Risque games that I got from a co-worker."
"Oh, OH." Twilight thought aloud, Ignis' meaning finally getting to her. "I can see how that might be detrimental to your health. Well I could always ask Mayor Mare."
"Sweet, I'm gonna go get some lunch, know of anywhere good?"
"Well, there IS this one place that makes a mean daisy sandwich.."
Ignis stared at the pony sitting across from her, what could only be described as a look of orgasmic delight on her face. Blushing slightly at the throaty moans coming from Twilight, she dug into her omelet. Hearing a cessation of the moans of pleasure, Ignis looked up to see a happily smiling Twilight. "Would you like some daisy sandwich with your orgasm?" She asked, causing Twilight to blush.
"S-sorry, it's just that was so good. How's your omelet?"
"Hard to breathy. There isn't hay in this, is there?" Ignis asked.
"Let me ask." Twilight said, getting up and seeking out a member of staff. Upon finding one she voiced her question, receiving an affirmative as to the presence of hay in Ignis' omelet. Suddenly darting outside, she saw Ignis writhing on the ground whilst clutching her throat, gasps for air leaving her mouth. Panicking, Twilight shot an anti-allergy spell at Ignis, who was already unconscious from lack of air. As soon as the spell hit, Ignis' heavily swollen throat returned to normal and she resumed breathing. Letting loose a sigh of relief, Twilight picked her up in her magic and trotted off to the hospital.
Author's Note
I bet you that those fourteen downvoters didn't even READ this fic.