Election

by a guy with many hats

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Human, Comedy
Length: 1176

With humanity comes a very human practice. Electing a leader for the entire country. Which who shall win?

With humanity comes a very human practice. Electing a leader for the entire country. Which who shall win?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-26 01:20:03 UTC

Waiting in line is an American tradition

        I stood outside the polling station in Canterlot, waiting for Rose to finish up voting. Gray and Vinyl spotted me over the large crowd and walked over. “Vince, hey man!” Vinyl cheered as she forced her way through the crowd.

        “Vinyl, hey, what’s up?”

        Vinyl smiled wide and unfolded her glasses. “Dude, something awesome! I’ve never seen so many ponies in one place!”

        Gray walked over, brushing his hands on his back pockets. “It’s good, democracy. Not like back home...people trying to stab you….”

        Me and Vinyl stared at him as he scratched his nose. “Gray...you bitter about it?” I asked, standing straight and walking them to a less crowded area.

        “Bitter? No, no.” Gray shook his head. “Happy. I enjoy voting.” Things grew quiet as I looked around for Rose.

        Vinyl fixed her glasses and walked around, her horn flaring up like mad as she walked around. “So...who’d you vote for?”

        Gray grabbed Vinyl, putting her next to him. “Stop pacing.”

        Vinyl stuck her tongue out and sat on her haunches. “Fine, but really, who’d you vote for?”

        I let out a rough cough. “You’re really not supposed to tell, but I voted for Fleur.”

        Gray nodded. “Is not a public matter, but yes...Fleur as well.”

        “Whaaaat?!” Vinyl stood suddenly and resumed her pacing. “For like...honorary, right?”

        I shook my head. “No...civic.” Gray backed me up. “What’s so weird about it?” I asked as Vinyl tucked her glasses away.

        Vinyl shook her head. “You can’t not vote for Celestia! She’s ruled since, forever!”

        “Your point?” I asked, crossign my arms. “Fleur’s been campaigning on a very human friends platform, but she’s not going overboard.” I shrugged. “She’s good to humans, and ponies.”

        “Tak, she might not win, but we can atleast be heard.” Gray noted dourly. “The point is to vote for who you care about, not just because they’ve always been in charge.”

        Vinyl scratched her head with her hoof. “Huh...you think they’ll let me change my vote?”

        I shook my head. “Probably not--” I stopped myself as Vinyl ran off back into the crowded polls. I turned to gray as a few more humans started walking out. “Huh...hey guys.”

        The group joined us and merged into a crowd of six men. “Hey, what’s up?”

        A rough looking man in a flannel rubbed his arms. “I swear...my girls can’t figure it out.”

        The man on his right nudged him. “Was it one of yours that was trying to use the touch screen?”

        The flannel man sighed. “Carrot...she’s so nice...but she’s not good with computers.”

        An orange pony peeked out of a booth. “Daaave, help!”

        The flannel man sighed and started walking over. “Coming...just hold on.”

        The group laughed at his misfortune. Slowly things quieted down as each man was eventually dragged off. Most by ponies, one by a woman, and one by a stallion. Gray and myself were left waiting for our mares as the crowd lurched forward.

        After a few more minutes Octavia and Rose walked out of the station. Octavia fixed her mane as she walked over. “Barbaric...ponies are going mad in there.”

        Rose nodded. “I had to kick somepony in the jaw just to get some privacy.” We all stared at her as she shook her hoof out. “What? Vince, what is it?”

        I shook my head, “Nothing, just…I love you Rose, you know that right?”

        Rose smiled smugly .”You’d better.”

        “But you shouldn’t just kick people in the face.”

        Rose nickered at me. “I didn’t kick her in the face, I kicked her in the neck.”

        Octavia shook her head. “Rude. Now, can we leave?”

        Our little group looked around. “Uh...where’s Vinyl?”

        Gray let out a short sigh. “You all go ahead, I’ll find her.” He walked off, slogging through the crowd.

        I turned to Rose and Octavia. “So...you wanna grab something to eat first or--”

        Octavia turned away. “Vince, Rose, it’s been a pleasure, but I want to go watch when the polls close. Now, are you going to walk me home?”

        I looked down to Rose, quickly scooping her up and cradling her. Once she was settled in I started walking the dapper mare to her house. “So, I know I’m--”

        “Beauty Brass.” Octavia preempted me.

        “Really? She was running?”

        “Indeed. She was effectively a proxy for the Canterlot artists...we know we won’t win, but it’s a chance to get some notice.”

        “Traitors...both of you….” Rose grumbled as she crossed her forelegs. “Not voting for Celestia….”

“Hmmm, sic semper tyrannis.” I stated jokingly.

  “Vince...stop talking fancy.” Rose scolded.

        Octavia shook her head. “Celestia is not a tyrant...she’s quite fair.”

        I let out a small laugh. “It was just a joke. But she’s probably going to win, isn’t she?”

        Octavia took a deep breath. “Most likely. But you never know…. Time will tell I suppose. Time will tell.

LATER

        I sat in Octavia’s living room as she fumbled with her TV. “Come on...work you stupid thing!” Octavia finally managed to put in the right channel. “Perfect!”

        Everyone gathered around as a pony in a suit started reading the polls from the towns and various councils. “Grand mayor of the Crystal empire, Lady Cadenza. Mayor of Ponyville, Steely Gaze. Mayor of Dodge, Cherry Jubilee. Mayor of Appleloosa, John Hannity--”

        I perked up. “A human mayor!? Sweet!” I quickly got shushed by the entire room. “Fine geez!”

        The news report went on. “Mayor of The City of Canterlot, Fleur De Lis.”

        “Naawh, butts.” I groaned as Gray lowered his head. “Well...that sucks.”

        Rose stuck her tongue out as she stood. “I told you Celestia was gonna--”

        “And Grand Princess of Equestria, Lady Luna.”

        Rose stopped dead, staring into space as the words buzzed in her ears. She was frozen like a statue, hoof outstretched in a pompous manner. “I- Luna...but….”

        “Yes!” Vinyl let out a short cheer. “Totally called it!”

        Octavia adjusted her tie. “Well...that was…unexpected. And what do you mean you called it?”

        Vinyl stopped her cheering and took off her glasses. “I told ponies they should vote for Luna, and they totally did!”

        I slowly raised my finger. “Uuuuh, you fixed the vot--”

        Octavia just stuck her hoof out. “Just...just let her have this moment….”

        As Vinyl continued to cheer and hollar Luna popped onto the screen.

        “Most loyal subjects, we, Princess Luna, thank you for your votes! We thank you all and promise to bring prosperity with our sister!” The camera panned over to an annoyed looking Celestia, halfheartedly clopping her hooves together.

        I turned the TV off and found my wallet. I walked outside, going next door and knocking on Datura’s door. The inside of her apartment was going crazy, bat ponies and humans going wild as the results went public.

        Datura smiled wide. “Vince….”

        “Shut up….” I fished a few hundred bit coins out and tossed them at her. “Smartass.”

        Datura stuck her tongue out as a tall man ran out. “We did it, fuck yeah!”

        I shook my head and stuffed my wallet away. “Congratulations…praise moon butt.”