A Monkey of a Story

by Shimmering Sparkles

Rating: everyone
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Rarity, Fluttershy, Random, Slice of Life
Length: 5462

While Vincent van Colt trains a pet monkey, Fictionary enters a Reading Competition.

Wanting someone to look after the Metrostallion House of Art, Vincent van Colt goes to see Fluttershy who gives him a monkey named Archibald that turns out to be more trouble than Vincent anticipated, and the yellow Pegasus stallion ends up in a mess.

Meanwhile, Fictionary enters a story for the Reading Competition, but has some fears about reading in front of an audience. Can she overcome those fears, and how will she obtain her cutie mark?

Although rated for Everyone, there is some innuendo. From this story onwards, Fillis will be renamed Fictionary.

Published 2014-04-26 03:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-26 03:30:01 UTC

Monkey Business

It was a warm, spring day in Ponyville, and everypony was bustling about their usual business. Fictionary was busy writing a story. There was going to be a story reading later that day and she wanted to participate.

"The only problem is to decide what my story will be about," she said to herself.

While she was thinking, Vincent was doing some thinking of his own.

"If Fictionary and I are away at the same time, who will look after things?" he wondered. As Vincent pondered, he passed Fictionary's room and saw her working.

"Hey little sis," he called, "what're you up to?"

"Just story writin'," she replied, "nothing's come to me thus far."

"I see," said Vincent.

"What's up for you?" Fictionary asked.

"I was thinking about maybe getting a pet," replied Vincent.

"Why's that?"

"To put it in perspective," explained Vincent, "if the both of us were away at the same time, we would need someone to watch over things."

"Is that all?" asked Fictionary, unconvinced, "It's not like our home's gonna be on fire by the time one of us comes back, right? Surely it can manage by itself?"

"And what if, for some reason, Pinkie Pie comes in and draws mustaches on my paintings?" Vincent retorted, "You know how silly and random that mare can be."

"Eeyup, that's a good point," said Fictionary.

"You've been talking with Big Macintosh lately, haven't you?"

"Eeyup," Fictionary repeated, giggling at her impersonation of the large red stallion.

What next? Vincent thought, She could end up taking flying lessons from Rainbow Dash!

"So what pet are you going to get?" asked Fictionary.

"I don't really know yet," said Vincent.

"How about a parrot?" suggested Fictionary, "That way, he can talk to any guests."

"Out of the question," said Vincent, "parrots can be very annoying and bothersome; sticking their beaks where they shouldn't and talking back."

"Well, how about a cat then?"

"Rarity already has a cat. Why would I need one? And before you ask, the same goes for an owl, a tortoise, an alligator, a dog, and a bunny."

"Okay then, how does an eagle sound?"

"They'd try and peck at me."

"A hamster?"

"Too small and cute."

"What about a skunk?"

Vincent gave Fictionary an unamused look.

"Okay, maybe not… A snake, perhaps?"

"Come on, Fictionary, be serious!"

"A shark?"

"Why would I want a shark?!"

"To scare away those who tormented you in the past?"

"Tempting, but how would I be able to hold him inside? He'd be too big."

"Oh yeah… Well, I'm out of ideas," Fictionary said at last.

As Vincent began to leave, he had an idea. "I think I've come up with an ideal pet," he said.

"What is it?"

"A monkey!"

Fictionary stared in confusion for a moment or two, and then she burst into a fit of giggles.

"What's so funny?"

"I'm sorry," said Fictionary through giggles, "but really – you, looking after a monkey?"

"Are you saying I can't do it?" Vincent asked, sounding insulted.

"It just sounds silly," said Fictionary.

"Well, I'm gonna show you otherwise," said Vincent.

"Maybe you should ask Fluttershy for help," suggested Fictionary, "she's the best when it comes to animals!"

But Vincent didn't want to ask for help. "I'm sure I know how to look after a pet," he said, "just you watch; it'll be a piece of cake!"

"Sure it will," Fictionary said, rolling her eyes.

"You'll see," said Vincent modestly.

Before long, Vincent was on his way to find a pet monkey.

"Maybe Fluttershy will have one," he said to himself. When he arrived at Fluttershy's cottage, he knocked on the door.

"Um, you can come in, the door is unlocked," a quiet voice called.

Vincent gently opened the door.

"Hello, Fluttershy," he said.

"Oh, hi there, Vincent," the pale yellow Pegasus mare replied, "what brings you here?"

"I've decided to get a pet monkey," Vincent said.

"A pet monkey?"

"Y'know, to have someone look after the Metrostallion House if me and Fictionary were away at the same time."

"Oh, I see. But why a monkey?"

"I couldn't agree on the other options Fictionary suggested to me," explained Vincent, "besides, monkeys are known to be intelligent, and if I covered his bum with clothing and trained him to be respectful and polite, he could be a useful butler."

"That sounds like a fun idea," said Fluttershy, "but there are a few things you may need to know about monkeys."

"Rubbish," scoffed Vincent, "I can manage. It can't be that hard, surely?"

"Well, alright," Fluttershy said in an unsure way, "if you insist." I have a feeling he'll need it eventually, she thought to herself.

"So, got any monkeys?"

"Of course. Follow me."

Fluttershy took Vincent outside to see the animals. The yellow Pegasus stallion felt a little uneasy being around many animals, as he was not used to their presence.

"So… where's the monkeys?"

"Right over… there!"

Vincent looked in the direction Fluttershy was pointing; right in front of them was a cage of five monkeys.

"Which one would you like?" Fluttershy asked.

Vincent looked at the cage until one monkey caught his eye.

"Ah, that's the one!" he said.

Fluttershy opened the cage and took out the monkey Vincent pointed to.

"Hello, little guy," Vincent said to the monkey, "what's his name?"

"I call him Archibald," said Fluttershy.

"I like that name; it sounds intelligent."

Soon Vincent was heading off with Archibald.

"Be careful!" Fluttershy called as the two departed.

"Don't worry, Fluttershy," Vincent called back, "I'm sure nothing could possibly go wrong!"

"I hope he knows what he's doing," Fluttershy said to herself, watching the yellow Pegasus stallion walk away with the monkey on his back.

"You and I are gonna get along fine, right Archie?" Vincent asked. But he got no response, and suddenly realized his back felt light.

"Archie? Where are you?!"

He then noticed the monkey in a nearby tree swinging on a branch.

"Oi! What are you doing up there?" Vincent asked in annoyance.

Archibald just kept swinging and making monkey noises.

"Get down!" snapped Vincent, "I'm here to take you home, alright?"

But Archibald refused to come down.

"Right, if you won't come down," groaned Vincent, "I'll come up and get you then!"

So he began flying towards the tree, but as he got closer, Archibald jumped onto another tree branch.

"Come back here!" Vincent called, but Archibald kept swinging. "Oh, this is just ridiculous," the Pegasus stallion said with annoyance.

Eventually, however, Vincent caught up to the monkey.

"Having fun, are we?" he gasped breathlessly. Archibald hooted in response.

"I thought as much," Vincent groaned, "now come along."

Archibald got down and back on the yellow Pegasus' back.

"That's better," he smiled, and with that, Vincent and Archibald soon on his way once again. As the duo got closer to Ponyville, an Earth pony mare named Bon Bon was holding a cupcake. Bon Bon had a pigment blue mane and tail with a rose pink streak, cerulean eyes, and three candies wrapped in blue with yellow stripes for a cutie mark.

Suddenly, Archibald jumped off Vincent and began to head towards Bon Bon!

"Aaah!" Bon Bon shrieked in fright, "Back away from me!"

"Archibald, no!" cried Vincent, "Don't hurt Bon Bon!"

The terrified beige mare raced away past a surprised Lyra.

"What's gotten her in a tizzy?" the light aquamarine unicorn asked. She got her answer when Archibald raced past, shortly followed by Vincent.

"Come back, Archibald!" Vincent cried again.

At last, Archibald caught up with Bon Bon and swiped her cupcake.

"Give it back to her!" Vincent shouted crossly, "What bad manners; taking something from a mare without asking!"

But the monkey didn't listen. Lyra then used her magic to separate Archibald from the cupcake.

"Oh thanks, Lyra," gasped Bon Bon, hugging her best friend and nuzzling up on her.

"Is this animal yours?" Lyra asked Vincent sternly.

"Yes, he is," the Pegasus stallion replied in embarrassment, "I'm terribly sorry; this is my first time ever dealing with a pet."

"Please keep that chimp under control next time," said Bon Bon.

"He's not a chimp, he's a monkey," explained Vincent, "you see, monkeys have tails, while chimpanzees don't—"

"Is that really important?" Lyra interrupted.

"No need to be rude, I was just explaining the differences is all."

Vincent put Archibald back on his back and headed off once more.

"Who'd be that shallow to have a monkey as a pet?" remarked Lyra. Vincent had heard her, but said nothing.

After a mostly uneventful trip, Vincent and Archibald finally came back to the Metrostallion House of Art.

"Well, Archibald," said Vincent, "here's your new home." When he opened the door, he saw Fictionary was still there.

"What took you so long?" was the first thing the unicorn filly said. Vincent explained what had happened.

"So that's why you got branches and leaves in your mane," remarked Fictionary.

"Oh yeah, that," said Vincent. While he'd been chasing Archibald up in the tree, some branches broke off and stuck to his mane. "But still, at least we have our own pet."

"Are you sure you know how to take care of him?" asked Fictionary.

"There were a couple of missteps," admitted Vincent, "but I'm sure I'll handle it. Anyway, how's your story coming?"

"I just finished it," Fictionary said proudly.

"That's great," said Vincent, "what's it about?"

"Erm… it's a secret."

"You're not gonna even tell your own brother?"

"Nnope," said Fictionary, imitating Big Macintosh's second favorite saying.

Vincent chuckled. "I think Big Mac's a silly influence on you."

Suddenly, Archibald pounced on Fictionary and started tickling her.

"Hey!" she giggled, "That tickles!"

"Archibald!" Vincent scolded, "That was not very polite."

"Ah, lighten up," said Fictionary, "he's funny!"

"I want him to be more polite and mature," said Vincent.

"Aw, you're no fun…"

"Come along, Archibald; it's time to learn how to act responsibly."

But Archibald wasn't interested as Vincent led him to the bathroom to practice brushing his teeth.

"Okay, Archie, now watch me closely…"

Vincent put toothpaste on his brush and began scrubbing his teeth with it. After one or two minutes, he rinsed the brush and put it up.

"There," he said, "now you try it."

Archibald took the tube of toothpaste and started squirting it on the mirror.

"Not on the mirror!" cried Vincent, "On the brush!"

Then the monkey squirted the toothpaste on Vincent's head.

"Ugh, not on me! Toothpaste on the brush!"

Archibald then started scrubbing the toothpaste in Vincent's mane with the toothbrush.

"That's not how you use a toothbrush!"

But the monkey simply laughed. By this point, Vincent was beginning to lose his patience, but he tried not to show it.

"Just calm down," he told himself, "you can do this…"

Archibald then began to scrub the toothpaste on the mirror with the brush, causing his new master to facehoof.

Vincent's next step was to get Archibald dressed like a butler. He went over to the Carousel Boutique to see if Rarity could make a suit for Archibald.

"Afternoon, Rarity," he called as he opened the door.

"Hello, Vincent," the white unicorn mare said, surprisingly not taking notice of the mess the Pegasus stallion was in, "what brings you here today?"

"I was wondering if you had any suits fit for a monkey."

"Why, of course," said Rarity, "what did you have in mind?"

Vincent explained how he needed someone to look after the Metrostallion House if he and Fictionary were away at the same time.

"I see. But are you sure you know how to look after a monkey?"

Vincent groaned and rolled his eyes. "Yes…"

So Rarity got a butler suit for Vincent to use on Archibald. As the Pegasus stallion was getting ready to leave, Sweetie Belle came inside.

"Hi Rarity," the unicorn filly said, "wanna send time with me?"

"Uh, actually," Rarity faltered, "I'm rather busy."

"Do I have to use the puppy eyes?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Puppy eyes?" asked Vincent.

"It's when Sweetie Belle makes a super adorable face," Rarity explained, "sometimes if she's not careful, it could give somepony a heart attack."

"Hey, that only happened once!" Sweetie Belle objected. Then suddenly, Archibald tackled her like he did with Fictionary.

"Not again!"

"Monkey!" Sweetie Belle cried cheerfully as Archibald tickled her. She then gave the monkey a hug.

"Come on, mister," Vincent said to Archibald, "we're coming home to continue your house training."

"Fictionary already left for the competition," said Sweetie Belle, "she looked a bit nervous, though."

"I'd be there to support her," sighed Vincent, "but I've a monkey to house train… given I can earn his trust."

Archibald made monkey noises and jumped around.

"If that mammal makes a mess of my dresses…" began Rarity.

"Just relax, fussy hooves," Sweetie Belle chuckled.

"I heard that!"

Sweetie Belle just smiled innocently. While she, Rarity, and Vincent were distracted, Archibald snuck out.

"Come along, Archibald," said Vincent, but Archibald wasn't there. "Archie? Oh, don't tell me-!"

Suddenly, they heard monkey noises outside.

"Oh, for pony's sake!" Vincent groaned in frustration, and flew outside to the source of the noise, leaving behind two surprised unicorn sisters.

"What was that about?" asked Sweetie Belle.

Vincent raced towards the source of the monkey noises and found Archibald on top of a nearby stand.

"Archibald!" said Vincent, "Come down here!"

Suddenly, as if from nowhere… PLOP! …he was hit on the head by a lump of you-know-what!

"Uggghhh!" he shouted, "That's disgusting!"

Nearby, some ponies began to laugh at his predicament.

"Get back here!" Vincent shouted to Archibald, ignoring the crowd laughing at him. But the monkey just started laughing at him.

"You think this is funny?!" snapped Vincent.

By this point, he had lost his patience. He jumped into the air giving chase after the monkey. Vincent chased Archibald all around Ponyville, even right at the Reading Competition was underway. Lots of ponyfolk found it very entertaining to see a Pegasus chasing after a monkey, of all creatures.

"Stop! Stop!" Vincent cried. But Archibald was having too much fun to stop.

At last, he did, only for Vincent to crash head first into a banana stand, much to the crowd's amusement.

"Where has my life gone wrong?!"

Thankfully, he wasn't hurt badly, beside a few scrapes, but he felt very silly. Vincent looked around at the mess, not taking much notice of the laughing crowd, and remembered all the trouble he had gone through. It was at that moment, he realized that he should have asked for help in training Archibald.

"I've got to find Fluttershy," he said.

"Hey! You gotta pay for all those bananas!"

"Oh, for the love of apples…!"

After paying for the wasted bananas, Vincent and Archibald finally came back to Fluttershy's cottage. The Pegasus stallion was unhappy; his mane was a mess, he was smothered in toothpaste and you-know-what, and he had a banana peel on his head.

Vincent knocked on the door and Fluttershy answered.

"Oh my goodness!" she exclaimed upon first glance, "Whatever has happened?!"

"It's a long story," groaned Vincent, "I guess looking after a monkey without help was much more difficult than originally thought."

"I'd be more than happy to help you train Archibald, Vincent," said Fluttershy, "although you could've asked for help earlier."

"I know…" sighed Vincent, "all I wanted to do was prove I could be able to manage pets without help…"

"Even something simple like taking care of pets can be tricky," said Fluttershy. So she helped in taming Archibald. If he misbehaved, she would use The Stare on him.

After an hour, Archibald became a well-behaved monkey. Vincent brought him home again, feeling better that he had asked for help instead of letting the problem get worse.

"I just feel so dumb for not asking for help in the beginning," he told himself, "now I wonder how Fictionary is getting on?"

Author's Note

These two stories take place after Just for Sidekicks and Games Ponies Play, and before Magical Mystery Cure.

There's something there for the Lyra/Bon Bon fans!

To Tell a Tale

“I’m sure I know how to look after a pet. Just you watch; it’ll be a piece of cake!”

“Sure it will…”

“You’ll see!”

Fictionary just rolled her eyes at her brother’s claim, and with that, she went back to work on her story. After a few minutes of thinking, she finally came up with what she would write about.

“I know what to write!” she cried at last, and began to write.

Fictionary had finished her story when Vincent came home with the monkey he’d brought from Fluttershy’s.

“Well, Archibald, here’s your new home.”

“What took you so long?”

“It’s a bit of a long story,” explained Vincent, and he told Fictionary what had happened with him and Archibald the monkey.

“This monkey was very troublesome; he went nuts, climbed up trees and chased Bon Bon just to get her cupcake.”

“So that’s why you got branches and leaves in your mane,” remarked Fictionary.

“Oh yeah, that…” Vincent looked at his mane and saw some branches and leaves. Apparently, he had gotten them while chasing Archibald through the trees.

“But still,” the Pegasus stallion said, “at least we have our own pet.”

“Are you sure you know how to take care of him?” asked Fictionary, unconvinced.

“There were a couple of missteps,” admitted Vincent, “but I’m sure I’ll handle it. Anyway, how’s your story coming?”

“I just finished it,” Fictionary said proudly.

“That’s great,” said Vincent, “what’s it about?”

“Erm… it’s a secret.”

“You’re not gonna even tell your own brother?”

“Nnope.”

“I think Big Mac’s a silly influence on you,” chuckled Vincent, noting Big Macintosh’s usual responses “eeyup” and “nnope”.

Suddenly, the monkey dove at Fictionary and started tickling her playfully.

“Hey, that tickles!” she giggled.

“Archibald! That was not very polite,” Vincent scolded.

“Ah, lighten up; he’s funny!”

“I want him to be more polite and mature,” said Vincent.

“Aw, you’re no fun,” Fictionary pouted.

“Come along, Archibald,” said Vincent, “time to learn how to act responsibly.” And he led the monkey into the bathroom.

“I have a feeling this will not end well,” Fictionary said to herself, watching them go upstairs. Not long after they’d left, she began to feel a little nervous.

“I’ve never read in front of a large crowd before,” she said to herself, “let alone make a performance in front of any crowd. What if they laugh at me?”

As she thought, she heard a noise that sounded like it came from the bathroom.

“Ugh! Not on me!” she heard Vincent exclaim, “Toothpaste on the brush!”

Fictionary just chuckled. “Sounds like somepony’s having troubles.”

Vincent then came out of the bathroom, his mane covered with toothpaste.

“Is that a new mane shampoo you’re using?” asked Fictionary innocently.

“Ha, ha, ha,” said Vincent sarcastically, rolling his eyes, “very funny. Anyway, I’m off to Carousel Boutique to see if Rarity can make a suit for Archibald.”

“Playing dress-up with the mares, are we?” Fictionary teased.

“Oh, behave yourself,” said Vincent, as he playfully gave his sister a noogie. Archibald followed suit by squirting toothpaste in his mane and giving his new master a noogie.

“Oi!”

“Silly monkey,” giggled Fictionary.

“But not for long!” declared Vincent, “Just you wait!”

And on that note, he and Archibald departed.

“Maybe you can suggest toothpaste shampoo to Rarity?” Fictionary teased.

“Cheeky little filly,” Vincent said to himself as he closed the door behind him.

After her brother and Archibald had left, Fictionary went to the kitchen.

“Writing a story is thirsty work,” she said, pouring herself a glass of water. She then looked at the clock.

“The competition will be starting soon!” she cried, and Fictionary raced out the door with her story.

On the way to the competition, Fictionary ran into her fellow Cutie Mark Crusaders, Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.

“Hiya, Fictionary,” said Apple Bloom.

“Hi girls,” replied Fictionary, “I’m on my way to the reading competition.”

“Have you written up your entry?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Yes I have,” said Fictionary.

“What is it?” asked Scootaloo.

“It’s a secret.”

“But can’t y’all at least tell us the title of yer story?” asked Apple Bloom.

“If I told ya, it wouldn’t be a secret, would it?”

“Good point,” said Sweetie Belle.

“So are ya excited to be in the competition, Fictionary?” asked Apple Bloom.

“To be honest,” said Fictionary, “I’m a bit nervous. I’ve never stood in front of any crowd of any size before!”

“I’ve been there before,” said Sweetie Belle.

“So don’t worry a thing,” said Scootaloo, “you’ll be fine.”

“Well, I’m gonna go see Rarity for a bit,” said Sweetie Belle, “see you at the competition.” And she trotted off in the direction of Carousel Boutique.

Fictionary felt better, but deep down inside, she was still a little scared.

I couldn’t bear Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon mocking me again if I look like a fool in front of the crowd, she thought, if that were so when I reach marehood, I’d be the laughingstock in all of Ponyville!

A short while later, the fillies arrived at the competition.

“Well, this is it,” said Fictionary.

“Good luck, Fictionary,” said Apple Bloom.

“Don’t you mean, break a leg?” asked Scootaloo.

“Oh, right,” Apple Bloom corrected herself, “break a leg.”

“Why would I need to injure myself?” asked Fictionary.

“It’s a figure of speech,” explained Scootaloo.

“Oh,” said Fictionary, “now I feel like those witches from Macbray…”

“Don’t mention his name!” cried Apple Bloom.

“Why?”

“Sayin’ the title of the Scolttish Play out loud is considered bad luck!”

“Sorry,” said Fictionary, “I just didn’t know that saying that would be a bad thing.”

“Well, now you do,” said Scootaloo. They had just arrived as Dinky Doo was finishing her story.

“The end,” the light grayish violet unicorn filly said proudly. The story she’d written was about a tough stallion named Fluffy. It sounded really silly, as who would take anypony with a name like Fluffy seriously?

Most of the audience found the story to be rather amusing; the only ones who didn’t were – of course – Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.

“I can’t believe they hated my story,” Diamond Tiara sniffed.

“To be honest,” said Silver Spoon, “all you did was write a list of hurtful things to say to blank flanks.”

“Whose side are you on?”

“I’m just saying.”

Just then, somepony from the audience pointed outside.

“Look!” he laughed, “Some fool’s chasing a monkey!”

The fool turned out to be Vincent van Colt, still chasing after Archibald.

“Come back here!” the Pegasus stallion shouted. This made the other ponies laugh at his predicament, but Vincent was unconcerned about the other ponyfolk laughing at him.

Fictionary had seen what the crowd was laughing at and chuckled to herself.

“I warned him,” she said. The light blue unicorn filly was so busy laughing at her brother’s expense she’d forgotten about being nervous.

Suddenly, there was a crash; Vincent had run head first into a banana stand, which caused bananas to go everywhere!

“Where has my life gone wrong?!”

The crowd continued laughing, but some ponies were concerned if Vincent was alright. He was, and very foolish too.

“I’ve got to find Fluttershy,” he moaned.

“Hey! You gotta pay for all those bananas!” the banana salespony remarked.

“Oh, for the love of apples…!”

Cheerilee addressed the audience. “And now,” she said, “our next reader is Fictionary van Colt.”

“Oh my, that’s me!” Fictionary had nearly forgotten she was partaking in the competition. Quickly, she grabbed her story and ran up to the stage.

“My story,” she said, “is called A Colt’s Guardian.”

“Sounds like a boring story,” sniffed Diamond Tiara.

“Oh, be quiet!” snapped a light gray Pegasus colt named Rumble, “I want to hear the story.”

Diamond Tiara hated it when she was told to shut up, so she just sat and pouted. Onstage, Fictionary began her story…

***

Once upon a time, there was a small kingdom ruled peacefully by two sisters. One day, a stallion nopony knew came to this kingdom, hoping for a better life. At first, he got along well with the villagers, but a pair of mean-spirited mares didn’t like him. So they decided to spread lies about him to the other villagers.

When they heard the lies, they thought the stallion had told them and wanted to chase him out of town. Angry and upset that they would accuse him of a crime he didn’t commit, he attempted to take his life with a bottle of poison. But what he didn’t know was that the pages of the potion book he read were stuck together, and he ended up with a sleeping potion instead, falling right to sleep.

The sisters had heard what was going on and were very angry with the villagers. The elder sister scolded them severely.

“You should know better than to jump to conclusions before knowing the truth!” she snapped at them, “When this mess is cleared, you will apologize for false accusations. And if this happens again, then you will all spend a week in the dungeon!”

The younger sister decided to visit the colt in his dreams to try and make him feel better.

That night, she used her magic to enter the stallion’s dreams and ask him what the matter was.

“I’ve had a very tragic past,” he said sadly, “my parents died when I was a colt, my previous home was destroyed, and my fiancé was poisoned the night before our wedding. All I wanted was to find a new home to start over.”

“I understand,” said the younger sister, “but you must know that you have to let your past go; the more you dwell on the pain you felt, the more it will hurt.”

The stallion understood this and promised he would. The following morning, the villagers apologized to him one by one for turning against him.

When the two mares were found to be the culprits, the elder sister sentenced them to death, but their mothers pleaded that their lives be spared. So the younger sister instead banished them to the moon.

“Let this be a reminder,” said the elder sister, “of what happens when you spread lies about others.”

And from that day onwards, no more lies were spread about the stallion ever again, and he was able to let go of his tragic past. Shortly after, he married the younger sister, and they all lived happily ever after.

***

When Fictionary finished her story, the crowd roared with applause… all expect for Diamond Tiara.

“How dare they almost sentence those mares to death,” said Diamond Tiara, “right, Silver Spoon?”

But even the light gray Earth filly was clapping.

“It looks like we have a winner for our competition,” said Cheerilee.

Just as Fictionary was accepting her award, there was a flash behind her. Turning around, she noticed there was something on her flank – a book with a pencil writing in it!

“I don’t believe it!” gasped Fictionary, “I got my cutie mark!”

“This calls for a PARTY!” cried Pinkie Pie, who suddenly burst from the audience.

Later at the Metrostallion House, there was a huge cute–ceañera party for Fictionary. The Cutie Mark Crusaders were there too, but they seemed sad.

“We’re happy for ya, Fictionary,” said Apple Bloom.

“But now that you’ve got your cutie mark,” Sweetie Belle added, “I guess you don’t wanna be our friends anymore.”

“Why would I think that?” asked Fictionary, “At least I’m not a mean-spirited snob like a certain filly I could mention…”

“So we’ll still be friends?” asked Scootaloo.

“Of course,” smiled Fictionary, “cutie marks or no cutie marks, you’re still my friends.”

“Hey, where’s Vincent?” asked Applejack.

“Surely he’d be here for his own sister’s party,” agreed Rainbow Dash.

At that moment, Vincent arrived with Archibald, shortly followed by Fluttershy.

“Oh, hey everypony,” said Vincent, “what’s the occasion?”

“Dontcha know?!” asked Pinkie, “Fictionary just got her cutie mark!”

“She what?”

“I got my cutie mark after winning the reading competition with my story,” said Fictionary proudly, “A Colt’s Guardian was inspired by a real incident to somepony I know…”

“Who?”

“You, silly,” Fictionary chuckled.

“Me?” Vincent was surprised. “You wrote a story based on me?”

“Yes, I have,” said Fictionary, sounding a little nervous, “is that a bad thing?”

“Actually, no,” said Vincent, “I just never knew what I went through weeks ago would be made into a story.”

“Well, let’s not get our hopes up that it’ll become a movie one of these days,” Fictionary said as a joke.

“You never know,” chuckled Vincent.

“Heard you had a bit of an incident with a monkey,” snickered Rainbow Dash, “I bet you went bananas.”

Her joke resulted in a few laughs.

“Well, at least I don’t have crushes on a certain Wonderbolt,” Vincent retorted.

His snaky comment was met with “oohs”. Rainbow Dash’s cheeks went bright red and her wings became fully extended.

“At least I didn’t get hit in the face by something!”

Suddenly a pie shot out of nowhere and hit her in the face.

“You were saying?”

Rainbow Dash didn’t reply; she just sulked and went to get her face cleaned.

“I hate poetic justice…” she muttered.

“Well, no offense, Vincent, but yer not a pretty sight at the moment,” said Applejack, before holding her nose, “sheesh, and ya smell so bad!”

“You think?” Vincent deadpanned.

“Eeyup,” replied Applejack, “what’ve y’all been rollin’ in?”

“Well,” said Vincent sheepishy, “let’s just say it wasn’t exactly chocolate the monkey threw at me.”

Archibald just giggled and made monkey noises, but he stopped when Fluttershy briefly gave him The Stare.

“I can’t believe he threw bum candy at you,” laughed Fictionary, “I was right when I said you should have asked for help.”

Vincent didn’t reply; the stink did all the talking for him. Silently, he gave Fluttershy a wink, who performed the stare on Fictionary, who stopped laughing.

“Perhaps it would be best if I gave you a wash?” suggested Rarity.

“Second best news I’ve heard all day,” smiled Vincent.

***

What nopony knew was that far on the outskirts of Ponyville, two unknown unicorn mares were watching. One of them was a very pale blue and the other was yellow-orange.

“There it is, Icy Heart,” the yellow-orange unicorn said in a moderate Scolttish accent, “Ponyville; the home to that van Colt I told you about.”

“I see,” said Icy Heart, not sounding very impressed, “and you are sure he is here?”

“Yes,” the other unicorn replied, “once I’m through with Vincent, he’ll regret the day he ever broke up with Golden Lass!”

“The last plan you had at getting back at him was convincing those two brats to spread lies about him,” Icy Heart butted in.

“That was a minor setback,” countered Golden Lass, “never work with foals or animals, I suppose.”

“Any reason why I am here?” came a third voice. It sounded like two voices slightly out of sync, as if it were an echo.

The voice came from a very dark gray pony-like creature with a dark cerulean mane and tail, harlequin eyes, and very deep opal eyeshadow. She had a twisted unicorn horn, tattered insectoid wings, sharp fangs, blue-green chitinous plating over her midsection, and wore a small black crown tipped with blue orbs. Her legs, wings, mane and tail were full of holes, and she had no cutie mark.

“Patience, Chrysalis,” said Golden Lass.

“The sooner I have my vengeance on Twilight Sparkle and her friends, the better,” said Chrysalis.

Golden Lass stared out at Ponyville again.

“Brace yourself, Vincent van Colt,” she declared, “you’ll pay for breaking up with me, I swear it!”

“And when I’m through with you, Twilight Sparkle,” said Chrysalis, “you’ll wish you never intervened with my plans at the Royal Wedding!”

“If my daughter is around here,” said Icy Heart, “then I think I’ll pay her a visit.”

“And soon, the three of us shall rise and take over all of Equestria!” finished Golden Lass, “Then no one will ever say no to me ever again!”

THE END?

Author's Note

This and Monkey Business take place at the same time, hence the repeated dialogue.

Macbray is a parody of Macbeth, the Scottish Play. In addition, Scolttish is a pun on Scottish.

Golden Lass is an ex-fillyfriend to Vincent van Colt; her story will be expanded upon in future chapters of Royals, Friends and Lovers.

Icy Heart, in my own headcanon, is Sunset Shimmer's mother, the reason Sunset became bad, which will be explained in a future story.