Pinkie Pie: The Eggmare (Season One)

by The Unknown Alias

Rating: everyone
Tags: Alternate Universe, Rainbow Dash, Adventure, Pinkie Pie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3122

The tales of Rainbow Dash stopping Pinkie Pie from taking over the world. Alternate Universe.

Life is a party. It just needs a proper host to guide it. And in Pinkie Pie's eyes, she's the best chance Equestria's got. But like all aspiring world conquerors, she has an enemy ready to fight her at every turn: Rainbow Dash. Relive the events of the show and see the secret war between Rainbow Dash and her enemy.

To her friends, she's Pinkie Pie. To Equestria, she will be The Host. But to Rainbow, she's just "The Eggmare."

Inspired by the Eggman PMV: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHS_Ma3cbr4
Cover image commission made by Opal Ice. http://opalice.weebly.com/index.html
Made to mark the sixth anniversary of my entry into fanfiction.

Note! If someone is crazy enough to make an Eggmare tumblr, please contact me so that I may work with you and make the tumblr in continuity with the story.

Published 2012-04-02 03:34:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-02 03:34:02 UTC

Prelude. (A.K.A. You Should Not Really Need to Read This to Enjoy the Story.)

Prelude
A.K.A.
You Should Not Really Need to Read This to Enjoy the Story

Her wings swept repeatedly, trying to maintain a safe balance between speed and propulsion. It wasn’t easy. The hall was large enough to fly in but still small enough to make it a challenge. Up ahead was a turn in the hallway. Timing it right, she began to bank for the turn, turning herself to land her hooves on the upcoming wall. She then kicked off the wall before loosing too much momentum, continuing her flight.

‘I wonder if it’d be faster to run…’

A klaxon blared over the speakers, catching her attention as red lights began to flash in the hall to signal the red alert. Up ahead she saw an unusual creature up ahead. It was a round, short, pink thing that stood on two wiry legs. The two limbs that would be its forelegs gripped what appeared a thin block with a pipe sticking out of it. On top of the body was a bulge with decorated lights to look like eyes and a smile. And finally, on top of all of that was a little striped party hat.

She glared at the creature, remembering from first hand experience that it was made of metal. She also remembered how easy it was to destroy these things. She shifted to either side to avoid the bullets that the creature fired until she was in range with the creature. She then burst forward in an instant, slamming into the creature and launched off of it to regain her flight. She sped on as the creature exploded behind her.

Elsewhere, another figure watched a screen showing the pony flying along from the destroyed creature. The figure, an earth pony mare giggled to herself as more screens showed the pegasus continuing through the halls, making her way to the hangar.

‘Not bad Dashie, you’re making good time! You just might just break your record.’

Pinkamena Diane Pie, Pinkie Pie to her friends (which wasn’t an exclusive list…), watched as Rainbow Dash charged down the path, reducing each of her creations to fire and smoke as they tried to oppose her. From how fast Rainbow was going, Pinkie supposed that it’d only be a couple of minutes before she’ll arrive at the hangar.

“Hey Orbot, warm up the Bombertank for me, will ya?”

From the console below the screens, a panel opened and a red ball was raised on a pillar. The ball then opened itself to show that the top of the ball was the top of head with a black underside with blue lights for eyes and a mouth. The little thing also had two small arms and red hands.

“Why certainly ma’am. It should be prepped and ready to go in a minute.”

Pinkie nodded in recognition and turned to a coat rack at the other side of the room. It wasn’t common for ponies to wear clothes that often, and this particular ensemble was outlandish. It was one she often wore when at her secret work, but had taken it off to rest. But with Rainbow on the attack again, she’ll want it back on for the upcoming battle.

She began by putting on a black bodysuit, made to be flame retardant for her work. The suit’s hind legs ended into boots, further protection for her work. Once the bodysuit was set, tail through the appropriate opening, she threw on a bright red coat with coattails and yellow cuffs. She dug into one of the pockets of the coat and fished out a pair of white gloves. Gloves were particularly uncommon, most ponies preferring boots if at all to wear on their fore hooves. And lastly, she donned a pair of grey goggles with green lenses. She adjusted them to sit on her forehead and her outfit was complete. She looked into a nearby mirror, making sure her outfit was in proper order. She smiled, her reflection boasting her confidence.

“Ma’am, Rainbow Dash is arriving in the hangar and the Bombertank is ready to run. All lights are green for the battle,” Orbot reported with a salute.

“Alright, I’m heading out! Make sure to keep recording the statistics, okay?”

“Certainly ma’am,” Orbot replied as his leader marched out of the room.

Rainbow took one last turn into a large open doorway. She stopped as she entered the large, empty room. She smiled. These large rooms usually meant that she had a heavily armored robot but it also gave Dash free room to fly and that’s how she fights best. She then hears a high-pitched engine and looked up to see a familiar enemy. There was Pinkie Pie sitting her usual “Mobile,” a flying pod with a small seat inside like that of a carriage.

“Well, well! Look who decided to stick around this time!” Dash shouted, happily starting their pre-battle banter.

“Oh come on Dashie,” Pinkie chirped, completely casual in spite of the situation. “You know that this is a bigger project than simple shipments. This is a test run. I can’t exactly do this without being here.”

“Hah! Doesn’t matter what new kind of scrap heap you made, I’ll tear it all down! Get your new weapon ready Eggmare!”

Pinkie’s smile faltered a bit at the name. “Now Dashie, I thought we were beyond name calling already. You should respect The Host.”

“I’ll call you what I want Eggmare! Now get down here and fight!” Rainbow shouted, wings flared and scratching the floor like an antsy bull.

“Fine then. You better be ready Dashie!” Pinkie shouted back as she slammed a big red button on her Mobile’s console. The Mobile then lowered as a door slid open.

Rainbow was confused at what the doors revealed. As the Mobile locked itself into place in the device, Rainbow gave the new vehicle a long glance. It looked like a bigger Mobile, armored like a tank, sporting six wheels, and had a cannon sticking out the front. This was definitely not something to fight Dash with in an open room.

‘She wouldn’t even be able to fire at me in the air. What’s her plan?’

“Ready Dashie?” Pinkie called out.

“If you’re gonna fight me out here, you better be ready to lose!”

“I know!” Pinkie replied with a smile. Rainbow was even more confused at this. “Which is why it’s time tooooo…” She then quickly pulled back on lever and the wheels squealed to get instant traction. “RUN AWAY!”

Rainbow blinked at the now rapidly escaping tank, going down a narrow hallway that she previously couldn’t see thanks to the tank. The mood broken, her look changed to a deadpan stare. “Ah, horseapples.” She shot forward, tightening her focus and already starting to catch up. Off in the distance, she can see that the tank took up most of the open space in the hallway. Dash grimaced as she realized that this wouldn’t give her much room to avoid attacks and even less to actually attack it.

‘I guess I’ll just have to do as much damage as I can.’

Pinkie smiled as Rainbow began to reach the range of the tank’s attacks. She pressed another button on the console and a speaker crackled to life. “Orbot, are the readings coming in fine?”

“Yes ma’am,” Orbot answered over the speaker. “All signals are being received clearly and the interface with the Mobile seems to be working flawlessly. We’re recording as we speak and all escape routes are prepared for anytime they’re needed. We’re all go for Operation Combo Research.”

“Alright, thanks Orbot,” Pinkie said before turning off the radio. She flipped a new switch, activating outer speakers to speak to Rainbow. “Ha ha ha! This’ll be easy!”

‘For me, yeah!’ Rainbow grew a gun-ho smile. “Okay, here we go!”

And so, the battle began! Rainbow closed in on the tank, now only a meter away. Pinkie started working the controls and a mechanical whirring began to build from within the tank and the cannon began to lift. The cannon fired and Dash yelped, leaping into the air as the large cannonball rolled beneath her. She looked back at the sphere and saw it explode shortly after.

‘So it shoots bombs then, eh?’ Dash figured and turned back to the battle. She immediately panicked and went back to running, another bomb just barely clipping her wing. She glared at the contraption. ‘Alright, since that cannon blocks me from attacking the main body, I’ll have to take that out first.’

Pinkie smiled at the results thus far. In this hall, the tank was a lethal threat to her old enemy. The only drawback so far was the reloading time for the cannon taking a few seconds before each shot. She fired at Dash again but the pegasus jumped to avoid the bomb and dashed into the cannon arm. Pinkie felt a small tremor in response and frowned.

“Orbot, did you just get a damage reading?”

“Yes ma’am. It appears to only happen to the cannon arm. Minimal damage.”

Another tremor shook as Dash got another hit on the cannon. “What about now?”

“Hmm… it appears that the damage is totaling to jamming the arm. Try not to let that happen ma’am.”

Pinkie grimaced as a third hit connected and a more violent tremor shook her. “Orbot, this is Dashie we’re dealing with, remember? That’s easier said than done.”

Rainbow’s smirk grew as she dived below another bomb and dashed into the cannon again. “Come on Eggmare! Is that all you’ve got?”

But, that brief moment of overconfidence was costly as attested by the explosion in her face. A head on bomb hit and blew her half out of her mind. She tumbled but quickly recovered into a run. She glared through blurred vision and slightly burned fur.

‘Okay, that was stupid. I’ll admit that. My fault.’

She ran all the faster and leaped over another bomb, attacking the cannon again. Pinkie was starting to get worried as her console’s alerts started to turn on. A sixth tremor didn’t help her mood.

“Orbot, I’m taking too much damage! What will I be left with if she destroys the cannon?”

“From what the readings are telling us, you’ll still be able to fire the bombs and even at a faster rate without having to reload the arm itself. But the tank will be open to attack and you can’t fire the bombs into the air.”

Pinkie’s eyes dilated while Dash landed a seventh blow. “Which means she can just fly above the rest. I’d be a sitting-”

A large tremor interrupted her conclusion as the front of the tank started to explode. The smoke cleared, showing the tank’s front was torn open. Pinkie flipped a switch labeled ‘overdrive’ as her teeth started to clatter. “I’M A SITTING DUCK!”

She flipped another switch, activating an automatic rapid-fire system to pour out the rest of her bombs. But, like she figured, Dash had taken to flying to easily avoid the bombs.

“Orbot, it’s over. Activate all escape routes! I’m starting to disengage!”

“Copy that, ma’am.”

Pinkie worked a series of controls while Dash effortlessly and even nonchalantly attacked the tank without issue. And with one last dash attack, the tank began exploding. The tires flew off and pieces of the body blew off. With one last, blinding explosion, the Bombertank blew to pieces, leaving Pinkie in the Mobile and stained with smoke. Above them, panels in the ceiling opened, each revealing a path. Pinkie quickly flew up into a hatch and it closed behind her before Dash could give chase.

Rainbow slowed down to a stop and smiled with victory. “Hah! Not bad, Eggmare! You actually got in a shot or two! Looks like you just might win in a hundred years! See ya next time.”

And with that, Dash started walking down the hall with a prideful smile. A brief moment later, she stopped and looked around at the seemingly endless hallway.

“Now, how in Equestria do I get out of here?”

The door to the control room opened to show the slightly singed pony. She coughed a plume of smoke and dragged her hooves to her chair and collapsed into it. Orbot looked on with worry, twiddling its thumbs.

“Uh, ma’am? Would you like me to prepare a bath?”

“Nah, I’ll be fine,” Pinkie answered as she pulled off her gloves. “So? It felt good in the field. What about the readings?”

“The results are magnificent!” Orbort reported. “Synchronization with the Mobile was established easily and flawlessly! The system has passed with flying colors!”

Pinkie smiled at this. Battle mechs will prove to be more efficient now. With this attachment system designed around her versatile Mobile, she won’t have to spend excess time and resources on giant mechs. She can prepare a new shell to attach. This test was a brilliant success. Now if she can just design something to actually beat Dashie…

“Ma’am, are you sure you won’t like at least a quick shower? You do have duties at Sugarcube Corner coming soon after all…”

Pinkie’s eyes then grew to an unnatural size and she gasped in panic. “Oh no, I forgot!” She scrambled out her chair, shedding each piece of her outfit off in a panic. In a brief, pink blur, the door was left open and the clothes scattered on the floor as Pinkie’s voice echoed from the hall. “Keep an eye on everything and watch over the data Orbot. Thank you, bye!”

Orbot imitated a sigh at its creator’s usual behavior. “Dear Host, I can only imagine how busy you’ll be if you actually succeed in conquering Equestria. Oh well, time for my shows.”

It turned to the screens and changed to a show being put on by some of the Pawn robots in an attempt of entertainment. The Host had come across the idea of television while developing the security camera system but such an advance of technology wasn’t going to be widely accepted by society yet. So until they did, the Pawns’ production of “As the Wrench Turns” would have to do.

“But how can I choose?” the monotone electric voice of a Pawn droned. “We have survived so much together but he was there from the beginning for me…”

Orbot began to sniffle. “Oh Unit 355986, please don’t betray him! The assembler arm doesn’t deserve you!”

The melodrama was interrupted however when an alert chime sounded from a different screen. Orbot was surprised as the main screen’s feed was replaced with an incoming notice.

“Hmm… now what’s this? A message from one of the observation drones?”

One of The Host’s earliest projects, observation drones were made specifically to infiltrate and spy for information. This aided her not only in keeping tabs on the country’s awareness of her growing empire but also gave her openings for financial opportunities. The only drawback so far was that sometimes transmissions could take some time to be sent. In the case of this incoming message, whatever was being reported occurred a couple of hours ago.

“Now, where are you hailing from?” Orbot muttered as it started accessing the message. The information of the drone’s location was given and surprised Orbot. “The Sparkle Unit? She hasn’t done much of anything. Why would this be so important?”

Assigning a drone to spy on the famed Twilight Sparkle was always a confusing decision to Orbot. The Host would always say that anypony of such influence or position to the reigning Princess Celestia should be kept under watch. But to Orbot, the effort seemed wasted, as the famed unicorn had spent her many years only on her work and studies. Still, if the drone really did conclude whatever this was to be so important, then it deserves to be at least watched.

Orbot accessed the recording and the camera at once came into view. The drone had been positioned on the ceiling, looking down at the large library that was Twilight’s room. With her was the familiar dragon assistant by the name of Spike. In his claws was a scroll and he was reading it aloud.

“My dearest and most faithful student Twilight, you know that I value your diligence and trust you completely. But you simply must stop reading those dusty old books!”

A gasp from the unicorn at this caused Orbot to giggle a bit. Many drone reports would attest this as being another case of the Princess’s small habit of teasing others.

“My dear Twilight,” Spike continued reading, “there is more to young pony’s life than just studying. So I’m sending you to supervise preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration in this year’s location, Ponyville.”

Orbot would later swear that it felt its circuits stalling at that split second of hearing the message.

“And, I have an even more essential task for you to complete: make some friends.”

Orbot stopped the message at that point, its CPU still processing what it just heard and did it again a few more times to make sure it received that right. Twilight Sparkle, the personal student to the ruling force of the country, was coming to Ponyville.

“Ooh, she’ll want to hear this…”

And so, Orbot quickly accessed the communications to contact The Host. The call began to connect when it heard something vibrating in the room. It turned to notice the sound was coming from the discarded pile of clothes she left behind in her haste. Accessing the base’s accessories, Orbot had a couple of pincers lower from the ceiling and carefully navigated the clothes. One of them then pulled out from a coat pocket what Orbot feared the sound to be. It was the small communicator she would normally keep on her person for emergency transmissions.

Orbot sighed at this result. Knowing The Host and how fast she normally is, even more so when she was in panic like then, she would already be out of the base and halfway back to town. Figures. The biggest piece of news for The Host in years and there was no way she could know in time to prepare.

One of the closest ponies to her greatest opposition was arriving to town. Orbot could already tell that this was the start of something big.

Date of publication: April 1, 2012, Sixth Fanfiction Anniversary
The Unknown Alias’s status: signed out.