It Never Really Ends

by DoktorSigma

Rating: mature
Tags: Profanity, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Dark, Alternate Universe, Human, Sad, Main 6, Princess Luna, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Suicide / Self Harm, Gilda
Length: 60815

When a human in Equestria attempts suicide, the ponies who shunned him are forced to care for him in Ponyville Hospital.

[COMPLETE]

My name is Jason Wright. If you've heard of me, you probably know what I did, and what an idiot I am for doing it. Now I'm stuck in the hospital, surrounded by ponies who hate me because I can't even die right. But while I'm here, maybe I can try to learn why I was saved, and what I did to make the ponies hate me in the first place.

Hello, and welcome to It Never Really Ends! This is a sequel to MisterBlonde’s oneshot Ending. They expressed no desire to continue the story on their own, and have given me permission to do so myself!
-Vlad
{Chapters Written: 1-39}

Hi, I’m the new owner of this story! Vlad has decided to stop working on it, and now I have chosen to bring upon it new life, because this story never really ends.
-Live Wire 03
{Chapters Written: [N/C]40, [N/C]41, [N/C]42}

Why hello there, PE4CE here -the third owner of the story to be exact. As Live Wire 03 explained, I owned the story and from now on, I’ll continue writing it. And hopefully we will end the story which never really ends.
-PE4CE
{Chapters Written: 41,42, Δ, Σ ,Ω}

Published 2014-04-26 22:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2021-10-02 01:05:38 UTC

Chapter2: Depression

Depression

I awoke to the sound of a hoof frantically pounding on the door. Blearily blinking my eyes, I attempted to shift my body into a better position to stand from. Immediately, white dots filled my vision from the raw agony shooting through my neck, and I stopped moving. The door gave with a snap-crunch, and a now familiar orange-coated mare lunged through. A spark of fear caused me to tense up, and I grit my teeth to keep from screaming. I succeeded, for the most part, though a whimper still escaped.

Applejack's head swiveled towards the noise, and she looked almost...concerned. Okay, she looked absolutely terrified, but it wasn't on my behalf. It couldn't be. But why would she be afraid of me? I couldn't move, I couldn't speak. I was helpless. Completely helpless. Utterly at the mercy of these candy-colored horses.

Part of me wished they would finally show me some. The rest of me knew better. Clenching my jaw through the pain, I looked up to the orange one with a blank expression. Applejack shuddered slightly under my gaze. I can imagine why, My eyes looked quite dead, when I saw them.

I refused to glare, I refused to grimace, or frown. My lips twitched upwards on the left side, just for a moment. Four years ago I was fawning over Applejack like a schoolyard crush. Now I was deliberately making her uncomfortable out of spite. It's amazing how time changes a man.

Applejack gulped and shook off my stare, stepping forward and manipulating my arm around her withers. “C’mon, ya big ape...Up ‘n at em!” I managed to get my legs under me, and slowly made my way up to an unsteady, stooped stance. Sleeping on the ground while still seriously injured hadn’t done wonders for my soreness. And with the bag of morphine now bone-dry, I was feeling every bit of it.

The walk back to my room was slow-going and perilous, the combined (and awkward) efforts of Applejack’s assistance and my limping lending themselves to more than a couple tumbles. Eventually, however, we made it. I had just gotten into bed when the apple-farming pony wrinkled her muzzle. “Okay. You’ve gotta be the smelliest critter Ah’ve ever seen. Ah’m gonna see about gettin’ ya a bath.” I didn’t bother trying to stop her. Even if I could speak, I remember enough of the show to know there’s no stopping AJ when she sets her eyes on something.

I closed my eyes and sighed. The show...I hadn’t thought of the show in what felt like a lifetime. Back when these ponies were just loveable cartoon characters, I was a huge fan. But now...I still didn't hate them. I couldn't. No matter how angry or hurt I became, part of me still saw them as the amazing characters from an even more amazing cartoon. I suppose I was more disappointed. When I had come here, I'd expected...I don't know what I expected. I'd committed to my choice before I truly thought it through.

...What DID make me come here in the first place? Why did I give everything up? I had a happy family-life. I had plenty of good friends. I had a good job, a home...I drew my knees to my chest and tried to relax, closing my eyes. I’d already cried myself dry the night before. Now I just felt hollow. My mind finally calmed down enough for me to sleep, and I drifted off into nothingness.

I awoke to a jolt of cold water, gasping and half-sitting up before the pain halted me. But like before, it was far away and insignificant. My eyes lazily drifted to the side, where something cold and dripping wet was being dragged across my body. A chill ran across my skin, bringing my attention to my state of dress. Or rather my lack. I was completely naked, the thin blanket pooled around my legs up to my waist being the only thing preserving my decency.

If this had happened two or three years ago...I’d have been fighting it every step of the way. As it was, I was tired of fighting. I just tried to relax, only moving when the cool water hit a particularly sensitive bit. My eyes drifted over to the side where the pony was working, somewhat curious. I’d never gotten a sponge-bath before.

The pony was mostly below my sight, but every once in a while a bit of unkempt straw-blonde mane would pop into view. I closed my eyes and furrowed my eyebrows. After everything she’d done to me, why was Applejack doing this?

It was several more awkward moments before I heard Applejack discard the sponge. Cracking open an eye, I attempted to turn towards her. The mare looked up and instinctively took a step back, but managed to stop herself from running off, or worse, trying to kick me. Taking this as a good sign, I decided to try to speak.

"Wh-...Why did you save me?" My voice was still gravelly and hoarse, but that was to be expected. My throat was still sore, but the fresh bag of morphine dripping into my veins made it bearable. The mare's eyebrows fell into a glare, and I immediately felt a sense of dread.

"Now you listen here ya idjit, just because Ah don't like ya doesn't mean Ah wanna let ya go an' kill yerself." Her peridot gaze was more intense than I had ever seen it, and for the briefest instant I felt like a child being scolded. "Ah don't know what made ya so touched in the head, but There ain't nothing worth dyin' over. What would yer kin think if they found ya strung up in a tree?"

I raised an eyebrow. "I wouldn't know. I can't even remember what they look like." I'd come to terms with never seeing them again long ago. It's amazing what the mind can process and move past when it has to. I could still think of them, and I'd get down if I dwelled on them, but I've done my mourning. Applejack recoiled as if struck, staring disbelievingly.

"...What happened to 'em?" Her voice was barely a whisper. Clearly, I had hit a sore spot. I laid back and stared up at the ceiling, pondering how to continue.

"I'm...not sure, exactly. As far as I know they could be perfectly fine. I doubt anything bad has happened to them, they were pretty boring folks. I'm the one who left." I smiled and gave a quiet chuckle. "Clearly, not one of my better ideas." Applejack didn't share my humor.

"What d'ya mean ya 'left'? Where'd ya come from?" I'd never had a civil conversation with Applejack. It was surprisingly nice, and I found myself getting more invested.

"That's a bit difficult to explain, but the short version is I'm not supposed to be here, and I can't ever get back." I shrugged "It was a stupid move, but I've had three years to make my peace with it." I hadn't actually spoken about my issues with another living thing in over three years. It was surprisingly therapeutic.

The orange mare took a step back, faltering in her gaze. "Ya can't never see yer family again, and ya act like it's no big deal?" I recognized that stare. It wasn't the stare of a mare who thought I was a monster. It was the stare of a mare who had already thought I was a monster, and I'd just confirmed it. "Don't ya care for 'em?"

I gave my impression of a nod. "Of course I do. I pray every day that they're doing well. But if I don't move on, I'll go crazy." Applejack immediately raised an eyebrow.

"Well thank Celestia ya managed ta avoid that." I barked a laugh at that, the sudden noise startling Applejack and sending me into an agonizing coughing-fit. The mare immediately backpedaled to the door, practically throwing it open. "Ah'll get the nurse!" The door slammed shut, leaving me to finally get my breathing under control. I laid back with a sigh and closed my eyes to sleep.

"Yeah...you do that."

Chapter 3: Obsession

Obsession

"Applejack, you're being too ro-OUGH!" I protested, the wheelchair I was being carted around in hitting every. Last. Bump on the dirt road to Sweet Apple Acres. It had been a week since Applejack had last visited me, and today she had just barged in and started throwing me around. It was somewhat gentler than when she'd buck me off her property, but not by much. I tried to ask her what her deal was, but I got no reply.

Finally, she relented in her mad dash in front of the rustic old home. Turning the chair around, she proceeded to drag me up the stairs onto the porch and into the house, eliciting a pained yelp from me at every step. I had regained my voice and mobility, but for some reason Applejack wouldn't let me move under my own power. When I tried, she had threatened to tie me down.

Honestly...she was scaring me. I almost preferred the unreasonably hostile pony to this new hovering menace. "Applejack, you're being ridiculous! I can walk on my own, you don't have to—"

"Now you jes' hush up an' let me work! Ah found ya, Ah saved ya, yer MAH responsibility, ya hear?" She scolded. I'd heard the same argument no less than three times since leaving the hospital. She kept saying I was her responsibility, but I didn't see it. I was the one who tried to kill myself, she didn't have anything to do with it.

...Well, she wasn't the MAIN reason. I was the one at fault. Thinking back, I can hardly believe I lasted so long. The condition I was living in was horrifying, compared to me now. I still had the shaggy beard and wild lion's mane of hair, but I no longer smelled like a sewer. My skin was regaining some of its vitality and firmness, and my body was beginning to fill out to a more natural, healthy shape. I was still unrecognizable, but at least I was feeling more like myself.

Which was exactly why I was eager to get up and walk around. I'd been bedridden for what turned out to be three weeks, even if I was unconscious for the first and most of the second. Three weeks of minimal movement, when I was used to foraging, hiding, sprinting, and climbing was making me stir-crazy. And that damnable neck brace was driving me mad! Even now, my neck was itching and uncomfortable. I could feel it was back up to strength, and I could've taken it off any time, but Applejack was having none of it.

The smothering mare had dragged me just inside the threshold of the house. I tried to stand up once she had stopped the chair, but a hoof on my chest halted my ascent, much to my chagrin. I gave a long, drawn-out sigh as the mare tried to lift me out of the chair on her own. I took advantage of her awkward two-legged stance to slip out of her hooves and stand on my own, however to avoid as much of her ire as possible, I quickly sat back down on a nearby chair.

Nonetheless, I received a dirty glare from the orange mare. Smirking, I made to speak but was interrupted by—

GURRRGGGRRGGGLRRG

...My growling stomach, I'd been on an IV drip for the first two and a half weeks of my hospitalization, and liquids for the last couple days. Along with being released from the hospital, today was also the day I was allowed to enjoy solid foods again. And I was ravenous. I hastily closed my mouth and averted my gaze, my face heating up. Applejack's hearty laughter wasn't helping my blush much.

"A-alright sugarcube, you jes'...jes' sit tight, Ah'm gonna get us both somin' ta eat." She managed between stifled giggles. I still didn't know what to make of her. Not a month ago she'd have bucked my head clean off before even trying to speak to me, but today she'd been almost unhealthily set on taking care of me, regardless of what I actually wanted. What had changed?

My train of thought came to a screeching halt once a heavenly scent came wafting through the house. A similar scent had often drawn me to Sweet Apple Acres in the mornings when I was particularly hungry and desperate, though every time I'd gotten chased away before seeing what could create such a heavenly smell. It wasn't until a hatless Applejack came trotting in with two plates, one balanced on her head and one along her back, that I finally saw.

Sweet Apple Acres fresh-baked apple-pie. My mouth began watering almost instantly, my gaze glued to the little slice of heaven.

"Jason?"

I'd dreamt of trying the famous dish since long before coming to Equestria, along with the cider. But even the crisp nectar of the gods was nothing compared to the fresh-baked delight sitting on that plate.

"Jason?"

It was so close I could taste it, the flaky crust and piping-hot filling beckoning me like a siren's call to—

"JASON!"

I snapped out of my stupor, blinking owlishly at Applejack. The mare was caught halfway between amused and annoyed, though shifting more to the latter as time went on. "Uhh...yeah?" What had I even been thinking about? It felt almost like I was possessed for a minute there.

"Are ya gonna eat yer pie, or are ya gonna stare at it?" I cleared my throat and, feeling irredeemably awkward, reached over and relieved the orange mare of one of her plates. Muttering a quick 'thank you', I dug in. Or inhaled, depending on who you ask. As the first fresh-cooked meal I'd eaten in close to three years, it was almost orgasmic. An audible moan of delight thrummed out of my chest as I savored the slice.

"Applejack?"

The mare tried to stifle a laugh, pointing a hoof at what was undoubtedly a massive mess on my face. "Y-yeah?"

"That was undoubtedly...the best thing I have ever eaten." I thought I might've seen a hint of a blush, but I wrote it off. Somewhere in my pie-addled brain, however, a thought occurred to me. "Hey, won't your family object to you bringing me in here?" Though Applejack may have been the most outspoken, I doubt any of the other apples were huge fans of mine either.

"Naw, Ah already figured that out." She waved a hoof, leaning against the wall with a confident grin on her face. I raised an eyebrow, leaning in.

"Well, don't keep me waiting!" I may have been in a better mood after getting a full belly, but I wasn't about to be turned into an imitation cow-patty courtesy of Big Macintosh's hooves.

"Ya know...I think being trampled by Big Mac would've been preferable to this." I complained from inside the barn. I was propped up on a bed of hay, itching and sweating which only made the neck brace even more unbearable. And I was alone.

Over the past few years, I'd gotten used to being alone. I kept myself busy staving off the loneliness, and I turned isolation into a means of survival. But now that I've had some decent company, it felt...odd to let that go. I'd formed what could almost be called, if I were unreasonably optimistic and unhealthily generous, some manner of friendship with the orange country-mare. I may not have had any idea why she was suddenly acting the way she was—and it DID freak me out a bit—but I had to admit, it felt...nice.

I didn't dare believe things were 'finally looking up' for me, but for the time being, it was a nice respite. And I would definitely milk it for all it's worth until Applejack came back to her senses and ran me off the farm. Rolling onto my side, I struggled to find a comfortable spot to sleep in. The hay was prickly, itchy, and uncomfortable, but I'd had one Hell of a day.

Chapter 4: Paranoia

Paranoia

When I awoke, it was still dark out. The hay was stuck to me all over, making me feel itchy, prickly, and filthy. Standing, I stretched for what felt like the first time in forever, before opening the—

CREEEAAAAAAKK

I froze. I'd never noticed the barn door making this much noise before! I waited five, then ten minutes before slowly, agonizingly slowly pulling the door open just wide enough for me to slip through. Another five minutes of trying to close the squeaky door without making a noise, and I was off towards the house.

Getting up the stairs to the porch was just as much of an ordeal as opening and closing the barn door, though my fear of being caught was tenfold due to a lack of concealment and my proximity to the sleeping ponies. I was crawling along at a snail's pace, occasionally wondering if I'd even get to the door before dawn. Thankfully, I did. Opening the front door was a simple matter—unlike the barn, this was taken care of on a regular basis and hardly made a noise. It wasn't until my first step into the house that I realized exactly what I was doing.

Breaking and entering. Into the home of a mare strong enough to kick the apples off trees in one go, a huge stallion, freakishly strong even by earth-pony standards, and an old mare with a shotgun. I gulped, silently closing the door behind me.

I am so...SO fucked.

I used a trick I had learned from gathering...supplies in the last few years, keeping close to the walls to minimize the noise made by creaky floors. Since near everything on the farm creaked in some way, I wasn't about to take chances. I didn't know the layout of the house, but it was fairly small. As long as I didn't barge into any bedrooms, I'd be fine. Creeping along the wall, I peeked in every door I came across.

Kitchen.

Applebloom.

Coat-closet.

A-HA! Bathroom. I slipped myself inside and closed the door. Flipping on the light, I looked in the mirror. I wasn't quite as disturbed by my reflection as...last time, but I still looked horrible. Quietly opening the cabinet and drawers under the sink, I fumbled around until I found a pair of shears. Looking back up at myself, I gave a grin.

Bye bye beard. Grabbing a hold of a ropy, wild lock, I began snipping away.

I ran my hand over my now much shorter beard. I hadn't found a razor, so I couldn't get back to clean-shaven, but I still felt far better than before. I looked better, too. I had cut my hair back into a simple one-length mop, ending just over my eyes. Back on earth I would've looked like a slob, but here it was still a massive improvement. Lastly, my eyes glanced downward.

That damn neckbrace had made me miserable since I got here. Reaching around to the back, I felt for any kind of latch or binding. After roughly ten minutes, the damnable contraption fell to my feet, and I gave a sigh of relief. Rolling my head back and forth, I savored the popping of vertebrae that hadn't been moved in nearly a month. Looking back in the mirror, however, I once again winced at my appearance. An angry red line crossed my throat, forming a perfect ring right where the noose had bitten into my skin. I knew something like that doesn't just go away—It may fade, but I'd have the scar for the rest of my life. Shaking my head of such thoughts, I looked towards the shower. It was definitely pony-sized, and would be cramped, but...hot water. Soap. It would be worth it.

Peeling the hospital-gown off of me, I climbed in and turned the knob. I gasped at the frigid water, and immediately turned the other knob on full-blast. My eyes rolled back and I groaned, the now scalding cascade pounding against my back and shoulders. It was heaven. I spent a few moments just relaxing under the spray, enjoying a luxury I hadn't had in three miserable years. Eventually though, I looked around for soap.

Soap...soap...no soap. There was, however, enough shampoo for a small army. Rolling my eyes, I grabbed one of the—who would've thought—apple-scented shampoos and squeezed myself a handful. I was going to feel civilized again if it killed me!

Kneading the shampoo into my hair was a chore. The hair was clumped, matted, and tangled like nothing else, and pulling it apart was often between frustrating and just painful. Eventually, however, after the third squeeze of shampoo, the job was done. I sighed as I worked my fingers through my freshly cleaned hair before moving on to the rest of me. I had one Hell of a job to do.

I stepped out of the shower feeling like a new man. The water had run cold halfway through, but I honestly didn't care. I was clean, I had the brace off my neck, I'd gotten a haircut, Apple Bloom was standing in the doorway, I had a full belly—Wait...what?

The filly was staring at me with eyes wider than saucers (not hard to do when your eyes take up half your face) apparently shocked into silence. I pulled the towel to cover myself, and held my other hand up in a placating gesture. "Okay...Whatever you do, don't freak o—"

"APPLEJACK!" You had one job, Apple Bloom. The yellow filly scampered out of the bathroom and down the hall before I could stop her. Immediately, I began to panic. In my rush I grabbed the grubby hospital gown and tied the towel around my waist, barreling out of the room myself and making a break for the door. Tearing it open, I leapt down the stairs to the ground and ran as fast as I could towards the barn. The sun was just beginning to rise, so there was enough light to see the silhouette of the rural structure against the reds and oranges of sunrise. Not caring about the creaking, I opened the door and ran through, slamming it behind me.

My God, I was out of shape. That little run, and I was already out of breath. At least I'd avoided being caught by a pony large enough to do any real damage. If that had been Big Macintosh, I would've been done for. Collapsing on the pile of hay, I sighed and closed my eyes.

It had only been a sleepless half-hour before the door creaked open. There was only one pony that knew I was in here, and if it had been any other they would've come for me long before now. Believing it to be Applejack, I feigned sleep. Whatever she was here for, it couldn't be good.

I'd done everything I knew to do, from relaxing my facial muscles to slowing my breathing, but somehow she still knew I was faking. I felt something impact then bounce off my head, and I yelped. Sitting up, I glared at the orange farm-pony. Glaring right back, Applejack pointed a hoof at the same object she had thrown. "Jes' what...in tarnation...was THAT doin' in the house?!" I glanced down to whatever it was, and immediately gulped. Oh shit...I'd left my neck-brace in the house.

I opened my mouth to respond, but the stubborn mare cut me off. "NO. Ignorin' the fact ya were up on yer own, ignorin' that ya used up all th' hot water, do you know what'd happen if the rest o' the family found ya out here?!" She had stomped closer, her glare intensifying. "Jes' WHAT in Equestria were ya thinkin'?!" The mare raised a forehoof, to which I immediately recoiled. It wasn't intentional, but being the youngest brother back home, I'd grown up to be very jumpy. And in the last couple years, a pony raising a hoof to me had hardly turned out to be a good thing.

Applejack clenched her jaw and took a deep, shuddering breath, lowering her hoof and closing her eyes. "And then ya go on an' make me feel bad fer' bein' worried..." Taking a step back, she turned around to walk away. "Ah'll get ya some breakfast...You just...just sit tight." And then she was gone.

I stared at where she had been, feeling immeasurably guilty. I didn't know why she was acting so protective all of a sudden, but for whatever reason, she was trying. I'd hardly spoken a word to her, and had made it perfectly clear on multiple occasions that I didn't trust her. So I made a decision. Closing my eyes and taking a cleansing breath, I steeled my resolve for when Applejack came back.

It was time I got some answers.

Chapter 6: Dependence—Rewritten

Author's Note

THIS CHAPTER HAS BEEN REWRITTEN FOR LENGTH AND QUALITY.

...GIGGITY.

Dependence—Rewritten

I laid on my back, staring up at the barn's rafters. I felt...hollow. Defeated, just as I had for the past years. For the second time in the last month, I'd nearly died. And, for the second time, it was because of my own stupidity and poor judgement. Groaning and shifting to find a more comfortable position, I lazily glanced at the door, now closed with a padlock. 'It's fer yer own good', Applejack had said. Applejack was a terrible liar. I closed my eyes and tried to relax.

It had been five hours since I was thrown and locked in here. Dusk now, I was sure. I turned onto my side away from the door, trying to get at least some sleep.

For the second time, I awoke in the middle of the night. However, unlike the night prior, it was not of my own accord. I'd been woken by the jostling of the door and padlock. I clenched my eyes shut and kept as still as possible, hoping beyond hope that whoever was trying to break in wouldn't be able to make me out from the hay in the darkness. After several seconds of jostling and an ever-greater sense of dread, I heard the telltale click and creak of the door being opened. The rhythmic thuds of hooves directly approaching me threw any hope of remaining undetected out the window, and I tensed up to make a run for it.

However my thought-process completely derailed when I felt something climb on top of the hay I was laying on. Warm fur pressed into my back, and a pair of forelegs pulled me even tighter against the warm body. My heart raced, and my instincts were screaming at me to get out of there.

The mumbling of a muzzle pressed into the back of my neck identified it as my warden. But...why would Applejack do this? Why was she...dare I say...snuggling? She had been behaving erratically since she'd taken me here, but this was a new level of weird. I could deal with her strangeness up to now in exchange for food and shelter, but this was—

"Awful warm fer a critter without any fur..." ...Nope. Hastily pulling her hooves from my neck and standing before she had a chance to object, I bolted for the open door. "HEY!" Nope. I was not looking back. I ran as fast as I could, fueled by panic and dread of what would come to pass if I were captured. Hearing the pounding of hooves and heaving breath slowly but steadily closing in, I pushed my legs as fast as I could.

It wasn't enough. I heard a lunge from behind me, and next thing I knew I was face-down in the dirt with a rope around my ankles. I scrambled to dig my fingers into the dirt, but there were neither roots nor rocks I could find purchase on. With a scream of futile rage, I was pulled back.

I glared up at a gasping Applejack, the mare having just finished tying me to one of the wooden pillars helping to support the barn's roof. My arms were bound by my torso, and the rope was strong. I wasn't going anywhere, and Applejack knew it.

The orange mare raised a hoof, the back of her fetlock lightly brushing over my face. I attempted to jerk out of the way, but I had very few places to go. She looked disheartened, almost heartbroken.

"Why d'ya keep runnin' from me?" She sounded just as desperate as she looked. "Ah...Ah'm sorry! Ah've been tryin' ta show Ahm sorry since Ah cut ya outta that tree! Ah've fed ya, housed ya, everythin' Ah know ta do!" She reared up, placing both forehooves on my shoulders and leaned in, a pleading expression on her face. "Please, let me make it right..."

I felt a pang of guilt in my chest. It was obvious how eaten up she was about this, but...there was no way I could forgive three years of Applejack's treatment because of two days of kindness. I dropped my head, closing my eyes. "I—" I coughed, a dry hacking that left my throat feeling raw and painful. I didn't think much of it and continued. "I can't. I know you mean well, but...what I've been through...there is no way I could forgive anyone that quickly. Even if I wanted to."

Applejack slumped slightly, and with a sigh she sat beside me, almost leaning into me. "What have you been through?" Her voice was softer than I'd ever heard, holding a tone of resignation and regret. Despite myself, the familiar southern twang of her voice lulled me into relaxing against her.

I told her everything. My arrival, my utter failure at finding a job, and being turned away or outright attacked by every pony I asked for help. I told her about the dank, dim cave, my dumpster-diving, and the near ceaseless abuse from the more aggressive ponies. From beginning to end, the story had taken roughly three hours. Dawn was swiftly approaching, and neither one of us had gotten a decent night's sleep in days. Having given up on staying upright herself, Applejack had leaned fully against me halfway through the story. Once it was over, she had barely managed a single sentence.

"We've been pretty rotten to ya...Fer what it's worth Sugarcube...Ah'm sorry."

I fell asleep before managing a reply.

When I awoke, it still felt like I was dreaming. my eyes wouldn't focus, and every sound was muffled and far away. I tried to sit up, but I didn't have the strength. I gave a light huff of irritation. Why has this been happening so often?

I winced as soon as the air passed through my throat. The breath came out as a ragged, labored wheeze, and my throat felt like it was on fire. On second thought...my entire neck was uncomfortably warm and felt incredibly swollen. I slowly opened my mouth and tried to call out for Applejack, but the sound was hardly audible to my own ears and the effort left tears stinging my eyes from the pain. Nonetheless I tried again and again, each time managing to get louder and louder until it was a hoarse, crackly whisper. Still nothing.

My throat was pure agony now. Finally going silent (except for the unpleasant wheezing of my breathing) I quickly slipped back into blackness.

I don't know how long I was out, but the creaking of the barn door brought me back to semi-alertness. Shifting my eyes to look at the intruder, I saw Applejack with a plate of sliced apples having tumbled from her back onto the hay-strewn ground. Her eyes were wide, her face twisted into the same mask of horror I'd seen when I had jumped from the branch to hang myself. I tried to call out, but my abused throat would no longer cooperate. The mare stood silently for several seconds, before slowly backpedaling, Applejack turned towards the door and galloped away fast as she could, leaving me with a chunk of ice settling in my chest.

Was I contagious? Would she come back? Why did she run? Was I no longer worth the effort to keep alive? My tired body began weakly trembling, my labored breaths coming quicker and shallower. A tear streamed down my frantic eyes, still staring at the open door.

Please don't leave me!

Applejack's legs were burning, but she didn't dare stop her sprint. Ponyville was within sight now, and she NEEDED a hospital—

No...No, Jason had only been out of the hospital for a matter of days, if she brought him back, she doubted they would release him into her care again. But if not a hospital, then who? Fluttershy was too terrified to be anywhere near him, sick or not, and she was the only veterinarian Ponyville had. Applejack groaned aloud, if only she could heal him herself! There had to be some kind of book that...could...help...

The library. Of course! Golden Oaks had thousands of books, there had to be at least ONE that detailed how to cure an infection! And Pinkie Pie had already drilled the importance of keeping secrets into Twilight's mind.

Losing a friend's trust is the quickest way to lose a friend, after all.

Applejack eyed the shrubs and trees warily, somewhat paranoid of what could be hiding behind them. Shaking her head, she continued galloping full-tilt towards the library. She was being ridiculous, Pinkie may have been...odd, but she was just another pony.

Applejack quickly made her way through Ponyville and towards Golden Oaks Library. Letting herself in, she looked around for Twilight. "Twi? Ya in here?" After a moment of scanning the massive room, she remembered to look up. Twilight may have still been a little wobbly, but she COULD fly...somewhat. "Twilight?"

"Hey AJ, what brings you around?" Applejack turned towards the voice, her gaze following up a nearby ladder until her eyes locked onto a small dragon whelp, dusting and arranging a massive stack of books held precariously in one of his claws.

"Spike! Thank Celestia yer here, d'ya know where Twilight is? It's urgent, Ah mean REAL urgent!" Applejack swiveled her head to look over the library once again, hoping the lavender alicorn was just hidden away somewhere with a book.

"Uhh...Sorry, but she'll be out for another hour or so. But I can take a message!" Climbing down the ladder and grabbing a quill and parchment, the purple baby dragon waited for Applejack to begin.

"Okay, well Ah've got a...a sick critter at mah farm, and Ah think he's got an infection. Ah need a book on how ta cure it afore it takes 'im!" Spike finished writing, and rolled the parchment up into a scroll. Sticking the note behind one of his ear-fins, he gave a thumb's up to the farm-mare and smiled.

"Done and done! As Twilight's Number One Assistant, I'll make sure she gets it." The baby dragon puffed up, and Applejack lightly patted his head.

"Thank ya Spike, but I gotta skedaddle...Poor critter pro'lly thinks I up n' abandoned him!"

Chapter 7: Curiosity—Rewritten

Author's Note

This is my first time writing Spike, so let me know how I did and what I need to improve!

Curiosity—Rewritten

"Spike, I'm back!" Twilight walked into her library, saddlebags bulging with fresh produce in one side and gems in the other. Walking into the kitchen, she levitated the bags onto the table and began putting her groceries away. The vegetables went in her refrigerator, and the gems were hidden up in the highest cabinets out of Spike's reach. She hated denying her little assistant, but it was for his own good, until he learned some self-restraint.

The purple drake walked in, still clad in the frilly apron he insisted on wearing and carrying a featherduster. Twilight rolled her eyes at the sight, but dismissed it. Just another side-effect of a boy living in a girl's world, she thought to herself. "Did you finish with the dusting?"

The aproned whelp crossed his arms and raised a brow-ridge. "Hello. Why yes, my day was wonderful, thanks for asking. How was yours?" Twilight turned towards him with a stern expression to reprimand him, but stopped herself with a sigh.

"Right...Sorry. So... did everything go well?" Twilight forced a smile, somewhat disappointed in her lapse in manners despite being labeled "The Princess of Friendship." Spike smiled and pulled a small scroll from behind his ear-fin, holding the rolled parchment for Twilight to take it in her telekinesis. Immediately doing so, she unrolled the note and began scanning. "Applejack...sick animal...book on how to cure infection?" She turned towards Spike with a questioning glance. "I don't understand, why wouldn't she just take it to Fluttershy?"

Spike shrugged, "maybe it's too big?"

Twilight shook her head. "For Big Macintosh? Spike, I've seen him haul an entire house, I don't think there's an animal he couldn't pull in a cart...except maybe a hydra or a grown dragon. And both of those have natural defenses against disease!" She crumpled the note and tossed it into the trash, before taking to the air and perusing her book shelves. "No matter, I guess I'll see it when I get there." Pulling a seemingly random book from one of the shelves with her magic, she descended and trotted out the door with Spike in tow.

"Hey, wait! I wanna come too!" Spike's indignant shout was too late to catch Twilight, who had taken off on a wobbly flight towards Sweet Apple Acres. Grumbling, the dejected drake stomped back inside, slammed the door, and grabbed a chair to help him reach the jewel-cabinet.

I felt awful. No matter how much I focused my eyes, all I could see were blurs of color. My head was pounding, and my body was wracked with constant chills. I vaguely felt something touch my soaked forehead, and some muffled, garbled speech.

I didn't care that I couldn't understand. Someone was there. My thoughts wandered, never truly taking shape. Trying to concentrate on any one thing was impossible, even keeping track of time escaped me. I didn't know if I was laying there for minutes or days. My head lazily slumped to one side, and a massive blur of dark blue and lavender filled my vision. I gave a light, goofy smile. Purple was such a pretty color.

My eyes were heavy...and those voices were so nice. Maybe I could just rest for a bit.

Yeah...just a teensy little nap. Maybe Applejack would be here when I wake up.

"Hey, love." I blearily opened my eyes, looking over to my right. I was in a hospital-bed, the rhythmic beeping of the heart-monitor and sterile scent familiar to me. I gave a tired smile and reached out, gently cupping the woman's smooth cheek. Long, straight black hair pulled back into a bun that had obviously been done without the aid of a mirror, dark circles under her eyes, and no makeup, and she was still the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on.

"Hey, Amy." I muttered, idly stroking her cheek with my thumb. "Did they get it?"

She grinned, her smile so wide it nearly pushed her eyes closed. "Every last bit...Looks like you're here to stay, Pony-boy." I rolled my eyes. She had started calling me that as soon as she caught me watching that damn show. Even in front of my friends.

...Especially in front of my friends.

"C'mon, you know you like it," she lightly jostled me with her elbow, and we both gave a weak bout of laughter. After a moment of tense silence, Amy reached over and wrapped her arms around me, resting her head on my shoulder. "Don't you EVER scare me like that again..."

I returned the hug as best I could, closing my eyes. The door opened, but neither of us bothered to end the embrace. We stayed like that for what must've been five minutes, before the doctor cleared his throat and Amy reluctantly took her seat.

"Well Mr. Wright, the operation was a success." ...I sensed a 'but' coming. "The last of the cancerous tissue has been removed, and you seem to be perfectly healthy." Now I KNOW there's a catch. "But I've looked over your family history, and it looks like there may be a chance of recurrence."

I gave an involuntary, choked groan, punctuated by a shaky, half-formed sob. Just a moment ago, I'd felt...liberated. In control of my own destiny, for the first time in months. But a few simple words put an icy shard of dread right back in my chest. I felt Amy tightly grip my hand. I gave a grateful squeeze. If she wasn't there, I...I don't think I would've made it through this.

"What are the chances?" Her voice was shaky, as was her hand. I gave a shuddering breath—I was trying to be strong, but I was failing miserably.

The doctor hesitated for a moment, before replying in a cold, rehearsed tone. "There is no way to know for sure, it depends on several factors. But the general rule is to have regular checkups so that if you do have a recurrence, we can catch it early enough to treat.

"Applejack, get it off." Twilight was trembling, eyes wide and voice frantic. "Applejack, please, it-it won't let go!" She tried prying the creature's claw off of her foreleg, but the human had an iron-grip. "Applejack!"

"Ahm comin' Ahm comin, jes' hold yer horses..." The earth-pony walked up to the feverish man, brushing his shaggy hair out of his face. "C'mon Sugarcube, wake up." No response. "...Jason?" She waved a foreleg in front of his eyes, but all he did was shift lightly and mumble to himself, off in his own little world. "Twilight...why won't he wake up?"

"Questions later, off NOW!" The naturally-spastic mare was on the verge of a full panic-attack, trying with increasing ferocity to dislodge the offending hand. The human shifted to his side, his hand going limp and Twilight's own efforts propelling her onto her back. Jason gave a low, keening whine, eyes screwed shut and tears streaming down his face.

"...Twi...What's wrong with 'im?" Applejack turned to the alicorn as she stood, shaking the hay off of her. Brushing her mane with a huff, she responded.

"Considering his current condition, I'd say he's hallucinating....I'll need to check his temperature." She magicked a thermometer from Applejack's bag and—

"Whoa whoa whoa, jes' wait an apple-buckin' minute here...exactly where are ya plannin' on stickin' that?" At the incredulous and almost angry question, Twilight turned towards Applejack with a befuddled gaze.

"...Where it's supposed to go...?"

"That there is an ORAL thermometer, Twi..." Applejack's flat look conveyed her annoyance perfectly, and the alicorn blushed a shade similar to Big Macintosh before quickly realigning the instrument.

After several moments, Twilight pulled the thermometer free to examine. "One-hundred and four...By pony standards, this should be causing seizures! How is he still—"

"Twi, grab him." Applejack's expression was between gravely serious and terrified.

"—Moving under his own power? I've never seen anything—"

"TWILIGHT!" Applejack shouted, and the alicorn jumped slightly. Blinking owlishly at Applejack, Twilight remained silent for Applejack to continue. "Grab Jason...And follow me." The alicorn shivered at Applejack's tone, and rushed to comply.

With Twilight and an unconscious Jason in tow, Applejack ran into the Apples' home. They'd made it to the hallway, but were blocked by a little filly. "Hey Applejack! Scootaloo n' Ah were wonderin'—hey, what's that?" Apple Bloom craned her neck to look at the unconscious form being suspended in midair, but was blocked by her elder sister.

"Apple Bloom, Ah want you ta go to yer room until Ah say ta come out." Her voice was still firm, despite being on the verge of panic.

"Hey, Ah've seen him! He was in the bathroom a couple nights ago! Didja knock 'im silly? Why's he still here?"

"To. Your. Room. Apple Bloom." Applejack was getting restless, shuffling from hoof to hoof.

"Why dontcha jes' take 'im back ta the Everfree?"

"APPLE BLOOM!" The orange mare shouted, "TO. YOUR. ROOM."

The filly stumbled back, falling on her rear. Her face twisted into a mask of anguish, and she galloped down the hall and out of sight.

The door slamming nearly knocked the photos off the walls.

Applejack continued to the bathroom without missing a beat, and had Twilight set Jason in the tub. "Twi, Ah need ya ta grab as much ice as ya can carry."

Twilight gave her friend a concerned, apprehensive look. "AJ...You just yelled at your sister! What's gotten into you?"

The apple-farmer shook her head. "A-Ahm fine, jes' fine..."

The lavender alicorn put a wing over Applejack's back, worry clear in her eyes. "Applejack...you're a terrible liar." Twilight blinked and looked at her friend, her worry increasing. "And you look terrible...Have you been sleeping?"

Applejack shrugged the wing off and scowled at the alicorn. "T'aint none o' yer business, way Ah see it. After what you did ta Jason, yer lucky ta be welcome to mah farm at all!" Twilight reeled back, utterly confused.

"What I did? I've never seen him before in my life!" She made to continue, but a long, agonizing groan escaped the feverish man in the tub.

Applejack's eyes instantly went from accusing to worried. "Ice! Now!"

Chapter 8: Rage—Rewritten

Rage—Rewritten

The first thing I noticed when I awoke was that I was fully conscious, no delirium or wooziness. I slowly sat up, groaning as my back protested the movement. I blinked the sleep away, looking down at my body. I noticed two things in the next few seconds.

One, I was buck-ass naked. The thing that made this somewhat terrifying was that I didn't remember undressing myself.

Two, I was half-submerged in a bathtub filled with partially-melted ice. Sitting ramrod-straight in the tub, I twisted to get a look at my back. No cuts...it seemed my kidneys lived another day. Sighing with relief, I shakily stood and swung a half-numb leg over the rim of the tub. I cautiously shifted my weight to the unsteady limb, and—

"N-NGH!" My soaking-wet foot slipped across the hardwood floor, sending me tumbling forward. I reached out to catch myself, my hand catching the sink and sending several mane-brushes, hair-ties, hoofheld mirrors and a pair of dentures sailing across the room. With a massive crash, I hit the floor.

A massive jolt of pain shot through my chest as soon as it touched the floor. My body tensed and I let out a hoarse, agonizing groan, stiffly raising my body with my arms and tossing myself onto my back. I raised my head to focus on my chest, my eyes immediately drawn to a patch of angry red skin, already blistered. My eyes traced the jagged red lines spiderwebbing out from the central burn, confirming my fear.

I had been electrocuted. Judging by the size and severity of the burn, it was at least on the level of a small lightning-strike. I groaned, laying my head back. Before I'd come to Equestria, I never knew what the burn from a lightning-strike looked like. I closed my eyes and put my hands over my face. How did Rainbow Dash find me here? I lay there for a moment, taking deep, cleansing breaths.

My breath immediately hitched in my throat when the faint rhythmic thuds of hooves across the floor began approaching, my body tensed like stone. The hairs on the back of my neck raised. That was NOT Applejack. The walk was more of a limp, an unsteady hobble as if walking was painful or difficult for the pony in question.

"Applejack, ya best keep down yer dern racket when Ahm takin' a nap!" An old, creaky mare's voice rang through as a hoof pounded against the door. I remained silent, frozen into inaction by my dread. "Applejack? D'ya fall n' hit yer head or summin?" The door knob began turning, but my voice caught in my throat before I could call for her to stop.

The door swung open. I stared at the old mare, somehow eerily calm despite being naked, soaked, burnt, and laying helpless on the ground. Two seconds. Five seconds. Half a minute. After a full minute of us staring at one-another, I decided to try my hand at diplomacy.

"...E-ugh, Gragh-Smih." My words were unintelligible even to myself, and had an unnatural scratchy, wet sound to them.

"EEEEEEEEKKK!!!" The door slammed shut and the shambling hoofsteps grew marginally quicker, hobbling away. I heard a panicked, shrill shriek of "BIG MACINTOSH, APPLEJACK, GIT YER FLANKS IN HERE!!!" and...just lay there.

Well...that went better than expected, I thought. At least she didn't hit me. I struggled to my feet, my neck feeling uncomfortably warm and tight, as if the skin were stretched. I pulled a towel from the rack and wrapped it around my waist, turning to the mirror. I grimaced at the angry red puffiness around my scar, the skin shiny and flaky in spots. Yeah...that's infected. A couple years ago, I wouldn't have even thought about raiding a stranger's medicine-cabinet. But that was before said strangers had bucked me off their farm—literally—or, as the evidence suggests, attempted to electrocute me in a bathtub.

I'm not entirely sure why I wasn't more angry about that, but I couldn't really bring myself to care. Finding a tube of what looked like an antibiotic, I applied as much as I could. It took nearly the entire tube to cover the area, but the Apples SERIOUSLY owed me. I wrapped a white gauze bandage around my neck and exited the bathroom.

I made it just out of the room when I came face-to-muzzle with a massive red stallion. I recognized those sleepy eyes and that well-worn yoke anywhere. Staring at Big Macintosh with what I was sure was a well-practiced scowl, I tried to push past. A hoof on my stomach halted me, followed by a quiet but firm "Nope."

My scowl deepened. I tried to muscle past the fuzzy roadblock, but there was no way my emaciated form could budge the gargantuan pony. The stallion seemed uncertain—Most did, almost ready to bolt when I displayed even the slightest hint of anger. I wasn't sure why, especially one that could mop the floor with me like Big Mac. Finally, he opened his mouth. "Applejack's worried 'bout ya."

I didn't visibly react to the news, but inside, my heart was racing. Applejack had told her family I was staying? Well, it was a good thing I'd dressed my wound before I left the bathroom. I doubted I'd be welcome any longer. The stallion's eyes darted from side to side after several tense moments, before slowly backpedaling and trotting away.

I snorted and continued to the door. I needed to go for a walk...I'd decide while I was out if it was worth coming back.

Twilight shifted awkwardly under Applejack's stare. She looked up from the ground to speak, but gave up before any sound came out. Applejack lifted an eyebrow. "Well?"

Twilight winced, slumping down. "Okay, I'm sorry! I just-I wasn't thinking. His heart stopped and I couldn't think of any other way to—"

"So ya zapped him with magic lightnin' while he was in a tub full o' water n' ice." Applejack put a hoof to her muzzle, shaking her head with a sigh. "How can such a smart pony be such a...UGH!"

Twilight glared slightly, offended at the insult to her intelligence. "Well if somepony had listened when I said we needed to add the ice gradually, maybe he wouldn't have gone into shock!"

"Girls?"

Applejack pressed her forehead to Twilight's narrowing her eyes. "Well if SOMEPONY hadn't lollygagged while gettin' the ice we needed, maybe we wouldn't have had ta rush!"

"Umm, girls?"

Twilight growled, pushing right back. "And if YOU hadn't been acting like such a CRAZY-PONY I wouldn't have been scared to leave you alone!"

"GIRLS!" A butter-yellow Pegasus shoved herself between the feuding pair, pushing them apart with her hooves and shouting as loud as her little lungs would allow. "Arguing isn't going to solve anything!"

"I'm afraid Fluttershy is right, dears, please just settle down...and exactly why are we all here?" A snow-white unicorn mare with a luxuriously-curled deep purple mane inquired, thankful for the cover of the library. The summer sun was not kind to fair coats such as hers.

Twilight sat back and took a deep breath, pulling a foreleg to her chest on the intake and extending it outwards on the exhale. "Right...thanks, girls." She cleared her throat, before continuing. "Rarity, have you ever encountered a creature roughly twice your height, looks a bit like a monkey with clothes and a mane?"

The white unicorn sniffed, her face twisting into a grimace as if she had tasted something bad. "Unfortunately, yes. The beast smelled positively dreadful, he would have filled my boutique with his funk if he'd had his way!" Twilight nodded, turning to the next. The cyan pegasus gave a victorious grin, lifting herself in the air. Before Twilight could ask, she had already begun.

"Hay yeah I have! I saw that monster prowling around Ponyville looking for some ponies to eat, and I gave him some pow! Bam! Kaboom! With each provided sound-effect, she flipped into a different pose, most likely intended to imitate some kind of strike. Trying to resist a growing urge to smile, Twilight turned to Fluttershy.

"Fluttershy, have you seen him?" The timid yellow pegasus shivered lightly and hid behind her mane, giving an almost imperceptible nod. Continuing, Twilight further inquired, "and...what did you think?"

"He scares me..." Rainbow snorted hovering over to her fellow pegasus.

"Doesn't take much to do that, Flutters." The prismatic pegasus wrapped a foreleg around her friend's withers, Twilight shot her a look, before sighing and continuing.

"My point is, we've all seen this creature, but none of us know anything about him." Twilight started. "Well...Almost none of us. Applejack?"

The orange mare cleared her throat before starting in somber tone. "About a month ago, Winona started actin up somethin fierce, jes' out of the blue, runnin 'round, barkin at nothin an' carryin on. So Ah went ta th'barn ta get mah rope. Ah was gonna leash her to a tree ta keep her out from under hoof. But when Ah got there, mah rope was gone."

The rest of the group was rapt with attention, even the unusually sedate Pinkie Pie. After a moment, Rainbow Dash shot into the air with a boisterous shout. "Well why didn't ya say so earlier? I'm the fastest pegasus in Equestria, I can run down a stupid monkey-monster in no time flat!"

She reared back to dart out the open window, but Twilight's magic managed to anchor her tail in place. "Rainbow! Let her finish."

The pegasus descended back to the ground, a sheepish smile and nervous chuckle masking her embarrassment. "...Sorry."

Applejack sighed and continued. "Ah followed some weird tracks into the edge of the Everfree, and...Ah saw 'im. He was sittin' in the branches of a tree high off the ground, with the rope around his neck. Ah tried ta stop 'im, but he...he..." She pulled her hat down over her face, unable to continue.

Twilight gulped, a spike of dread rending her insides. She'd seen the scar on his neck...She had an idea how this story ends. But she had to be sure. "...He what?"

Applejack growled and tossed her hat to the floor, eyes screwed shut. "HE HANGED HIMSELF! Right in front of me, told me we pushed 'im to it and tried ta kill himself."

Silence. Complete and utter silence.

Twilight grimaced. She'd hoped it wasn't that, despite what her common sense had told her. Not stopping, Applejack continued in a frantic, almost hysterical ramble.

"H-he looked like he hadn't seen a bit o' charity in years! Ah could see his ribs, his legs were thinner than a sapling, and his eyes..." Applejack opened her own eyes, looking at the group with a haunted expression. "He was...He wasn't right...in th' head."

Chapter 9: Panic!

Panic!

The girls walked single-file down the hall, following Applejack's lead. The mare gulped and turned to the others, a nervous expression on her face. "D'ya promise not ta freak out when ya see 'im? He ain't lookin too good right now..."

The other mares nodded, expressions ranging from reluctance to nonchalance to active curiosity. Sighing, Applejack pushed open the bathroom door, showing off the bathtub containing the unconscious form of—

"Uhh...Applejack? There's nothing in there." Rainbow tilted her head quizzically, hovering just under the ceiling. "Are ya sure it wasn't just a bad dream or something?"

Applejack turned to look into the room, her coat going several shades paler at what she saw. An empty tub, water splashed onto the floor, the contents of the cabinets and whatever had been on the sink strewn about the floor, and a small swirl of a diluted pinkish hue in the center of the floor. Jason was nowhere to be found. "H-how...How could he have gotten up? Ah've seen ponies unconscious for days with less wrong with 'em!"

Instinctively taking control of the situation, Twilight turned to her group of friends. "Girls! We need to find Jason now. He can't have gotten far in his condition. Let's go!" She took off, a chorus of "right!" sounding off in her wake.

Walking was something I'd been doing for a very long time. There were no cars in Equestria, no bikes that would fit me, no planes, buses, or taxis. If I had to get somewhere, I walked. And I'd become very, very good at it. Even in my current condition, walking was automatic. My legs were carrying me at a steady, tramping pace, allowing my mind to wander. And wander it did.

The first thoughts that flitted through my mind were, of course, of home. I wondered how my family was, if they still missed me, or if they resented my impulsive decision to abandon them like so much trash. I quickly buried that thought, and another took it's place. In the three years since I'd been in Equestria, I had never been caught in the middle of some cataclysmic disaster. There were no Discords, no Sombras, no Ursa Majors or hydras invading Ponyville. It had been incredibly...quiet. A part of me wondered if the events from the show were purely plot-devices, having little to nothing to do with the actual going-ons of Equestrian life. It made sense, the writers had gotten the whole 'unconditional love and tolerance' horribly wrong. Who said that was the extent of their inaccuracies? I crushed that thought under foot before I could get too angry.

Anger would solve nothing. It would never go away, but getting mad hadn't done anything but dig me deeper into whatever pit I was in. It was better to just hold it back. Clearing my mind of everything except for my surroundings and immediate senses, I tried to judge where I was. I had been walking parallel to the treeline of the Everfree for a bit short of two hours, at roughly three miles per hour. That put me a good five or six miles away from the farm. Despite the unpleasant heat and throbbing from my bandaged neck, I gave a small smile. That put me quite a distance from any ponies. And judging by the angle of the sun, I was heading North.

If the sun even set in the West in Equestria. I had no idea of the planet's functions or natural laws, and I had thrown out the laws of physics when I witnessed the sun being raised by a talking horse-goddess.

Nonetheless, my direction didn't matter. My plan so far was to walk until I found a different town where I could make a fresh start, or walk until exhaustion and infection took me. Both were equally valid options, and had various pros and cons. A small part of me was unnerved at how callously I considered my own demise. When I had hanged myself, I had considered it my last act of defiance, a final hurrah to end my life on my own terms. When that had failed, I was left with nothing. Now, the concept of death was...mundane. I couldn't bring myself to think of it as anything dramatic or meaningful, as I had in the past. My family would never know, the ponies would never care, and the princesses hadn't so much as checked up on me, as they promised they would. The only person who would truly be negatively affected by my death was me, and something tells me I wouldn't be particularly upset after the fact.

...When had my thoughts gotten so dark? Even when I was at my most ill on earth, I had always been certain I would pull through. When did I stop caring about my own life?

I closed my eyes and released a sigh, swallowing painfully. Breathing was getting to be difficult. The ice-bath had taken most of the swelling down temporarily, but the summer heat and exertion of my hike had caused my throat to begin closing at an alarming rate. I noted with distant apathy that at the rate I was going, I would suffocate within the hour.

My eyes picked up something from the corner of my vision. A thin wisp of black smoke in the distance, like that which was emitted by a bonfire. The pillar of smoke was almost undetectable against the darkening twilight sky, but it stood out as a beacon of...if not hope for rescue, then at least something to head towards. What waited at the end didn't matter.

Black smoke means live fire. Live fire means civilization. I repeated the mantra over and over again in my head, until my vision began to darken from lack of oxygen. It looked like...wagons. A caravan of wagons, curved around a large campfire. Just as I'd hoped. A large grin spread across my face even as the last of my vision faded to black, and I had a brief sensation of falling before nothing.

A splash of cold water onto my face brought me coughing and sputtering back to the waking world. Sitting up, I glared at my captor.

Wait...coughing? Sputtering? Sure, the actions were unbelievably painful, but they were possible. Raising a hand to my neck, I felt what must have been fresh bandages.

Whoever had woken me up must've known what I was silently asking. "A powerful anti-inflammatory. With the Everfree so close, the shaman can whip up a cure for any ailment." The voice was deep and gruff, obviously non-equine. Trying to focus my eyes in the darkness, I could just make out a humanoid body. But the legs were bent...unnaturally, and the arms were too long and bulky. Large triangular protrusions from the head were assumed to be ears, and I had a growing dread of exactly what I had stumbled into. "Get up and follow me," the gravelly voice ordered, turning and walking out of what I assumed was a tent. For just a brief moment, I saw what was unmistakably a canine muzzle and tail.

Struggling clumsily to my feet, I walked unsteadily out of the tent and into the warm light of the fire. My eyes scanned the mishmash of various species represented, though the vast majority were Diamond Dogs. There were a couple grizzled, scarred ponies, and a solitary griffon laying near the fire, curled away from me. Knowing speech would elude me for some time yet, I warily followed the hulking canine to another tent. This one, unlike the more traditional tents surrounding it, was covered in strange symbols and trinkets. The dog opened the flap and gestured me inside. Ducking in, my nose was assaulted by several pungent spices and aromas at once, disorienting me for a second. Looking around what I could only describe as a cluttered tribal witchdoctor's lair, I gulped—and winced—as a vague uneasiness crept over me. My eyes finally set upon an equine form in the center, somehow completely still while balancing on a gnarled staff...on her head.

The absurdity of the scene caused me to release an involuntary snort of suppressed laughter, and the pony's dark-rimmed, almond-shaped eyes flew open. Somehow leaping down to all fours with her—the petite frame was undoubtedly a mare—staff held in one foreleg, she gave one look at me and scowled. "Mimi karibu hakuweza kuokoa wewe...Kama alikuwa kusubiri tena, ungependa wamekufa!" The staff she held swung in an arc through the air, smacking me in the thigh. "Stupid!"

I jumped lightly, grunting and swatting at the staff. Turning my gaze back to the zebra—the stripes gave it away, though the golden hoops and Mohawk still threw me for a loop—I snorted, grimaced, and shook my head, turning to walk away. The staff descended onto my shoulder, enough to get my attention but not enough to be painful. Taking a deep breath and slowly turning back, I crossed my arms with a petulant scowl on my face. She had the stones to shout God-knows-what at me, call me stupid, hit me with a stick, and then stop me from leaving? I huffed and glowered at the zebra mare. This had better be worth it...

"Applejack...just give it a rest already, we've been out here all night!" An irritable, exhausted Rainbow Dash pleaded, the tired pegasus' wings barely able to hold her in the air. "If he's in as bad shape as you said, then there's no way he'd last this long in the Everfree. You tried, okay? Let's just go home."

The orange earth-pony turned towards her rival, unkempt mane and bloodshot eyes making her look extremely unhealthy in the dim light. "Ah...Ah can't. If ya wanna leave, then go. Ah'm gonna keep lookin'."

Rainbow looked back. Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and even Twilight had left over an hour ago. Returning her exhausted eyes to Applejack, she slumped to the ground and tried to blink the sleepiness from her eyes. "No way...I'm not leaving you out here alone."

The mares sat, fatigue and sleeplessness finally catching up to them. No matter how hard she tried to deny it, Applejack couldn't take another step. She closed her eyes and let her head hang low. "Rainbow...did we make a mistake?" She shook her head, fighting sleep as long as she could. "Ah've felt so...horrible 'bout what he did. Ah jes' feel like there was more Ah coulda done. He never raised a hoof—or claw, whatever the critter has—ta me, and Ah ran 'im off th'farm every time Ah saw 'im."

Rainbow snorted, rolling her eyes. Leaning back against the unsteady farm-pony, she tried to form a response. "I dunno, I saw him trying to catch a fish one time...Gave him a good zap for it too. Have you seen how big he is? If he's a carnivore, what makes you think he won't turn on ponies next? Especially if he's as hungry and crazy as you think." Her eyes began to droop. "Far as I care, we're better off..."

Applejack pulled her hat down over her face, her own eyes becoming heavy. "But Ah watched 'im eat mah apples...them ain't meat. Maybe he's like a bear? Fluttershy has one o' them that's awful tame..." She yawned, snuggling closer to the snoring Pegasus for protection from the cold forest night. "Maybe Jason can be tamed like that..."

Mere seconds after silence had settled, two loud snores filled the air.

Chapter 10: Hostility

Author's Note

FUCK THIS CHAPTER IN PARTICULAR. I'm sorry it's short, but writer's block is a bitch. Getting this out was PAINFUL.

Hostility

I sat near the fire, letting the warmth melt away the frigid night air. For the first time in a long time, I felt...almost happy. I was still ungodly depressed, but it seemed far away. I was warm, I wasn't in too much pain, and I wasn't completely alone. One of the scarred ponies—I'd learned her name was Rose Stone—had translated the Zebra's speech for me. It turns out she had made an antibiotic along with the anti-inflammatory. At first I had tried to apply it to my neck like an ointment, but the zebra hit me with her stick and Rose explained it was to be eaten. God, it was the most bitter thing I'd ever tasted. I must've made quite a face, because the zebra, the humorless, strict zebra, giggled. The petulant scowl I gave her only made her laugh harder.

Back on earth, I had noted how quickly most ailments were healed in Equestria. A broken wing was mended from an overnight stay at a hospital, and a chipped tooth was healed with the splash of a potion. So it wasn't entirely surprising to find that my neck felt infinitely better only an hour after ingesting the paste. My throat was still raw and I sounded like I'd deep-throated a cheese-grater, but speech was no longer out of the question as long as I didn't strain my throat. So I sat, content, staring into the fire.

I don't know how long I stared, but I must've drifted off to sleep. When I woke up, the sun was rising over the horizon and my throat was swelling shut. Standing, I made my way to the shaman's tent for another dose of the herbal medicine.

Keeping my eyes directly in front of me turned out to be a mistake, as I bumped into a solid-built quadruped. Not bothering to stop, I muttered a quick "sorry" and made to continue on my way, only to be stopped by a sharp talon digging into my forearm.

"Don't you walk away from me." The griffon from before hissed. The voice was effeminate but scratchy, and seemed somewhat familiar. The talon squeezed harder, causing me to grit my teeth. "Who in Tartarus do you think you are?"

Who did I think I was? I thought I was tired, hungry, sick, and in a very bad mood. I was betrayed, disgraced, spat-upon, and not taking any of this bullshit. Clenching my hands into tight fists, I tore my arm free, whirled around, and backhanded the griffon. "I am the LAST person on earth you want to fuck with."

She grunted and wheeled back, a small rivulet of blood seeping from her raptor-like beak. Staring at me with a shock that quickly eroded into a dark, excited grin, she lowered herself into a crouch and flared her wings out. "Oh, this is gonna be fun."

...Shit.

The Element Bearers were standing in Applejack's barn, sans Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Clearing her throat, Twilight took a deep breath. "So, just to be sure, none of you remember seeing them leave?" Everypony nodded. They each seemed to be some level of afraid for the missing pair, from Pinkie's stillness to Rarity and Fluttershy's worried (or outright terrified in the latter's case) expressions. "Just the thought that they could've spent all night in the Everfree Forest..." Fluttershy trembled, unable to continue.

Rarity silently put a foreleg around the pegasus' withers, the unicorn giving her friend a sympathetic look. The Pink Party Pony sighed in the background, her poofy mane sagging the slightest bit.

Raising an eyebrow, Twilight walked towards Pinkie and extended a wing over her back. "Pinkie...you've been awful quiet. You're worried about them too, aren't you?"

The pink pony shook her head, sagging slightly. "Do you really think he did it because of us?"

Twilight winced, having not thought of that particular problem since the day prior. She'd been having the same trouble...Ponies just don't DO that to themselves! "We...we can't focus on that right now. We need to find Rainbow and Applejack before something else does!" Pinkie sulked back down, her uncharacteristic sadness creating a deep tension among the group. Pinkie's exuberance had been the glue that held them together, and without her cheer, everything felt...hollow.

Twilight tried to regain control, but she couldn't force herself into the right mindset. Something was just...off about the whole situation. Why was Applejack so invested in this creature? Why was Pinkie so sullen over it's near-demise? Twilight's frown deepened. Why hadn't Applejack just let it die?

The door creaked open, and the girls turned towards the noise. In walked two twig-covered, unkempt mares, Applejack's hat covered in mud and leaves instead of the more common dust and sweat. Rainbow trailed behind, feathers askew and mane not looking much worse than usual, aside from the twigs tangled within. Both were walking with limps from sleeping on hard, uneven ground, with dark rings around their eyes and slumped postures. The cyan pegasus groaned as she dropped to her rump, forelegs hardly keeping her upright. "I am never...EVER...sleeping out there again." Applejack grumbled in agreement, taking an identically ungraceful seat.

Neither Twilight, Rarity, Pinkie Pie or Fluttershy could speak for several moments. The lavender alicorn cleared her throat, ruffling her wings unconsciously. "Girls...what happened?" The others gathered around Rainbow and Applejack, their combined voices drowning out any intelligible words in a stream of relief, elation, and worry. Getting no response, Twilight attempted to reassert some sort of order. "Girls?" Again, nothing. Furrowing her eyebrows, Twilight took a deep breath and reared back. Slamming her forehooves onto the floor, she shouted, "GIRLS! Please, I know we're all glad they're okay, but we need to focus! Turning to Rainbow and Applejack, she continued in a much calmer tone, "Why were you two out there all night? I want to find it too, but this isn't something you need to risk your lives over. What in Equestria were you thinking?"

Silence. The five were staring at Twilight with unreadable expressions, until Applejack stepped forward. The farm-pony glared, but her voice was soft. "Twilight, Ah appreciate ya tryin' ta help, but ya ain't done nothin but make the situation worse." She was practically muzzle-to-muzzle, looking up slightly at the growing alicorn. "Ya don't know the first thing about Jason. He's MAH responsibility, and Ah'll take it from here. So Ah'm askin ya as a friend, please...Back. The buck. Off."

The tension was beyond uncomfortable among the six, until Twilight silently turned away. Walking out the door, she looked over her shoulder to speak. Hesitating before making a sound, she closed her mouth with an audible click of her teeth. The mare shook her head and took off into the air.

I was too weak to run, and too exhausted to react quickly. The griffon bowled me over, settling on my chest. I raised my arms just in time to avoid catching swiping talons to the face, but the searing hot pain of claws tearing flesh caused me to yelp nonetheless. I struggled for what felt like minutes, but in reality couldn't have been more than a few seconds, trying to fend off talons and a beak from my face and neck. I blindly lashed out with a jab, feeling my fist connect with something hard and smooth. The weight on my chest shifted with a pained warble, and I lurched to throw the griffon off of me, The creature tumbled to the ground on her belly, a faint crack in her beak oozing with a thin red rivulet. I threw myself on top of her, pinning her down and wrapping one arm around her throat in a textbook choke-hold. The griffon thrashed, wings beating ineffectually. I pulled back roughly, teeth bared and breathing heavily, spittle flying as I tightened my grip as much as I could. I growled and roughly jerked my arms to the side, trying to—

I was looking up at the sky, my arms burning and chest heaving. I didn't know why or how I'd been thrown back, but I stood up with a furious howl and ran back to the downed, coughing griffon, stopped roughly by a paw shoving me back. Whipping my head to the dog that was keeping me from her, I reared back my arm to throw a wild haymaker. The wolfish beast caught it effortlessly in a large, meaty paw, trying to stare me down. "Creature! Calm yourself." I didn't verbally respond, trying to pull my arm free. I failed miserably. I turned my eyes to the griffon, standing shakily and being held back by one of the two ponies. I pointed my free hand at her, pure loathing drilling into her from my eyes.

"You're dead you stupid bitch! You are fucking DEAD!" A massive paw slammed into my face, and I knew no more.

Twilight walked into her library, a conflicted, hurt expression on her face. She sat in the doorway, casting her eyes to the floor.

Ah'm askin ya as a friend....

That wasn't Applejack back there. The orange mare was stubborn, yes, but even at her worst she'd never actively sent her away. The lavender mare sighed and closed the door, walking up the stairs. Applejack's fixation on the human was destructive, and Twilight couldn't sit back and let her friend alienate herself from the others. She gulped.

Or worse..

The orange mare hadn't been sleeping well if at all, and it was showing on her face. Twilight worried over the earth-pony's health, and by extension, the livelihood of the farm. All because of that...thing.

Twilight glowered at nothing. Even in her own world, all a human was good for was destruction and trouble. She screwed her eyes shut, trying to block out the memory of the cruel laughter. Sunset Shimmer...You deserve everything you got. The alicorn stood, taking a deep breath and opening her eyes, she called out with a determined look, "SPIKE! Take a letter!"

Applejack can say what she wants, she thought. This is bigger than all of us.

Chapter 11: Disappointment

Disappointment

Dear Princess Celestia,

Recently, a dangerous creature has begun making a nuisance of itself in Ponyville. Normally I would never involve royalty with an issue this insignificant, but the creature seems to have somehow brainwashed one of my friends into defending it at the cost of her own health.

It should be mentioned that I have some experience with this species, and have seen firsthoof how cruel they can become with minimal provocation. They are called humans, and as far as I knew they had no knowledge of Equestria, much less the portal from their world to ours. For this, I was grateful. However this human seems to be different somehow. As opposed to the humans in the "alternate-Equestria" I visited, this creature has dull coloring, small eyes, and a broader chest. Upon closer examination (while it was unconscious of course, I was not about to approach while it was alert) I noticed more pronounced canines as well, indicating it to be carnivorous, or at the very least omnivorous.

The creature has recently escaped, and is likely in a state of starvation and severe psychological trauma. Please please please please please send help before it attacks somepony!

Sincerely,

~~Your faithfu~~ Princess Twilight Sparkle

Princess Celestia read over the letter for the fourth time, blinking uncomprehendingly. That can't be right... The solar diarch shook her head. My eyes must be playing tricks on me. Reading over the letter again, her concerned expression waxed into outright worry.

The letter remained the same.

"Oh Twilight...what have you done?" Celestia whispered to herself, absently levitating a scroll and quill to herself. The quill swooped and pecked to her will, forming a brief reply. With a flash of her lance-like horn, the Princess of the Sun sent her message in a flash of light.

"BLEUUURP!!!" Spike belched hard enough to briefly lift his chubby body off the ground, his eyes widening with the familiar but still-jarring effects of dragon-mail. Falling to his feet, the dimunitive drake watched as the materializing scroll was caught in Twilight's magic like clockwork, a well-oiled machine.

In the same fluid motion, the lavender alicorn unfurled the scroll and moved it in front of her face, reading the short letter.

Wait there.

No pleasantries, no introductions, just two hastily-scrawled words. Twilight bit her lip. Was this creature, this human really so dangerous that even Princess Celestia was serious about its capture? And I was in the same room with it... Just how close to destruction had she been? How close was Applejack? What would it do once it no longer needed her? Twilight's panic grew with each increasingly terrifying scenario, so much so that she didn't notice the flash of teleportation in the center of the library. She was only drawn out of her thoughts by a tug to the tail from her assistant. Turning her gaze back to Spike with a manic, quizzical expression, she followed his pointing arm to see—

"Princess Celestia!" Twilight bowed low, her wings still splayed out as if she were ready to take off at a moment's notice. "I didn't expect you! N-not that you're not welcome, I just expected the Royal Guard to-" She was halted by a hoof pressed against her muzzle, the gilded slipper adorning the limb shockingly cool to the alicorn's lips. Turning her gaze upwards, Twilight stared into a serious, almost stern stare from her mentor.

"Twilight, where is Jason Wright?"

The smaller mare's mind screeched to a halt. Jason...Didn't Applejack call it that? Pulling back enough to speak, she gulped. "How do you know it's name?" Her voice was quiet, wavering, and barely audible, betraying a sense of dread.

Celestia's look of urgency intensified, and she lowered her head to be level with her ex-student's. "Twilight, we don't have time for questions now. Take me to Jason, this is a matter of great importance."

Twilight's nervous trembling and shuffling worsened, and her head dipped almost to the floor."I...Umm...I really...can't."

Celestia's serious expression turned to one of equal parts worry and disappointment. Lifting Twilight's head, Celestia leveled a stern look at the fledgeling alicorn. "Why not?"

"He...escaped." Twilight pulled her head free and returned it to the ground. "He was at Sweet Apple Acres, but then we left and when we went back he was gone!" Celestia remained composed on the surface, but a chunk of ice had settled in her chest. Somepony doesn't escape unless they were held captive.

What had happened after he came to Ponyville?

I awoke to a painful ache in both my arms, and blood caked uncomfortably under my nose. Looking down at my chest, I was greeted with my bare torso criss-crossed with heavy rope. An experimental shift of my arms confirmed my theory: I was bound, my back to a large wooden pole. Another movement caused me to hiss, one of the deep scratches on my arm stretching painfully.

"Stop moving around, you'll just hurt us both." A scratchy, feminine voice groused. Straining my neck to look behind me, I saw the griffon from earlier sitting with her back to me. Oddly enough, she was bound in rope as well. We seemed to be bound to the same pole. I sighed and let my chin hit my chest, groaning.

"What is this?" I inwardly winced at the sound of my voice. It was harsh and gravelly, a far cry from the light baritone I had before all of...this. I certainly wouldn't be singing any time soon, even if I did recover.

"Punishment. Now shut up, your voice hurts my ears."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "Yeah, fuck you too." I grunted in pain as the griffon shifted violently, causing the ropes to tighten painfully on my lacerated arms. "What the Hell is your problem?!"

"A stupid talking monkey that thinks he can almost kill me and still ask questions, that's my problem." She hissed, anger dripping off her words.

"If you didn't start none, wouldn't be none," I quipped. "I apologized for bumping into you. You're the one who made it a big fucking deal."

"What else was I supposed to do, just let everyone walk all over me?" Her spiteful tone turned to ice. "Literally, in your case?"

I shook my head with an exasperated groan. "Usually, when someone apologizes, it means they didn't mean to offend you. I didn't bump into you on purpose, I was trying to get to the zebra. I couldn't fucking breathe!"

"And you still hit me. Did you really expect me to just walk away after that?" I paused to think at her words. In hindsight, I HAD overreacted. Given my situation up to then it was completely understandable, but she didn't know that.

"I...overreacted." I muttered. "Sorry 'bout that. Just...under a lot of stress."

She snorted, giving a weak, bitter laugh. "You're still an asshole."

This time, it was my turn to laugh. "Honey, I'm from Jersey. We're all assholes." I sighed and closed my eyes, thinking back to the farm. Boy could I go for an apple pie right about now...Heh, looks like Applejack was trying to seduce me with her food. "Fucking Ponyville."

Though I didn't intend for anyone to hear that, an almost bark of a laugh came from the griffon behind me. "Amen to that...fucking Ponyville."

I raised an eyebrow, looking over my shoulder. "You've been?" I quickly faced forward again. Turning my head was starting to hurt my neck.

"Thought I had a friend there couple years ago. We went way back, all the way back to flight-school. She was like a sister to me. I went to visit her, but she wouldn't give me the time of day when her new friends were around. That would piss anyone off, but somehow she makes it out so that I'm the bad guy." She scoffed. "Some friend she turned out to be.

I blinked, realization dawned on me. Oh, stupid stupid STUPID! without thinking, I blurted out, "Gilda?"

"This is where we left him." Twilight said, her voice still holding a great amount of nervousness as she showed Celestia the empty, semi-charred bathtub. "We didn't expect him to be awake for at least another day, let alone capable of walking!"

Celestia looked down at the small burn-marks on the bottom of the tub. "And you say a...fever did this?" Celestia looked up with a raised eyebrow towards her ex-student.

"I...may have shocked him with a lightning-spell to restart his heart." Twilight blurted out, not able to slump much further. While her reasons for distrusting the human—distrusting Jason had seemed perfectly rational in her head, actually describing her treatment out loud to her mentor made her feel...incredibly silly.

"And his heart stopped why?" Celestia pressed further, careful not to allow her emotions to show in her speech of mannerisms.

"...Shock from extreme temperature-change?" Twilight proved herself wrong, laying on the floor with her wings tucked tightly against her sides.

"Brought on by a fever from...?" It was getting harder and harder for Celestia to remain stoic. Twilight...What could have made you think ANY of this was a good idea?

"A massive infection..." Twilight's voice was barely a squeak, and she was curled into a tight little ball on the floor.

"Why did he get the infection, Twilight?" Celestia asked, standing over the lavender mare. "How did he get wounded?"

"A-Applejack said it was..." Twilight couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence. The mere thought of such an act left her feeling hollow and cold, and acknowledging it as fact seemed a task her mind couldn't handle in it's current state.

Leaning down, Celestia almost whispered, "said it was what, Twilight?"

"SUICIDE!" Twilight wailed, eyes screwed shut. The volume caused Celestia to reel back, staring at the smaller alicorn in bewilderment. "I-it tried to kill itself! Applejack found it hanging from a tree, a rope around it's neck..." Twilight screwed her eyes shut, a tear leaking down her muzzle. "T-the others...Rainbow bragged about striking it with lightning, Fluttershy was terrified of it, Rarity wanted nothing to do with it...Applejack blamed us for what it did. She said it was our fault..."

"Him."

Twilight looked up at Celestia, blinking away the tears. "I-I don't—"

"Jason Wright is my personal friend, and he is not an it." Celestia allowed her mask to slip away, looking down at Twilight with a look of such disappointment the lavender mare felt her chest seize.

"I...I'm sorry, I didn't—"

"You shouldn't have to know somepony is my friend to treat them with respect." Celestia sighed and turned to walk out of the destroyed bathroom. "Twilight Sparkle...After all the lessons you have learned, how could you have failed so?"

Twilight didn't have any words. She stared, stricken silent and paralyzed as her mentor walked away from her in disappointment. Only after the solar diarch had left did Twilight move, reaching up to her crown. With a scream of anguish and frustration, she flung the adornment against the wall, head lowering and her body wracked with sobs.

Her eyes blurred with tears, Twilight failed to notice the star-like gem set into the crown had faded to a slate grey.

Walking away from Sweet Apple Acres at a sedate pace, Celestia's somber expression lightened to a devious smirk. Mismatched yellow and red eyes narrowed, and a faint giggle escaped her muzzle.

Chapter 12: Projection

Projection

I was met with deafening, stunned silence. Even the wind and birds outside seemed shocked dumb, leaving the only sound in the tent being my own breathing.

"...How do you know my name?" Gilda's voice was somewhere between a whisper and a hiss, dripping icy venom.

Oh shit, I did NOT mean to say that out loud...

My mind scattered, trying to form a cohesive lie. "I...heard Rainbow Dash talking about you." Gilda went stone-still, her feathers still ruffled to the point of almost sticking straight out. If I wasn't well-aware of how lethal her claws were, I probably would have laughed. As it was... "I can't imagine many griffons visiting a town like that." For many reasons.

"And just what do you mean by that?" I could hear the raised eyebrow in her tone. Part of me was sure she enjoyed making me dance like this. My eyes darkened, and I scowled.

"I mean Ponyville is full of cowardly, xenophobic bigots who wouldn't know 'love and tolerance' if it pushed them off a cliff." My already gravelly voice darkened further, causing me to sound like a growling beast. "They are afraid of the unknown, and panic easily. They have no common sense when in a group. They think they are the pinnacle of civilization, and act like thoughtless, timid animals!" By the end of my tirade, my voice had risen to a shout, and my throat burned from the strain. I panted lightly, air hissing between my clenched, bared teeth. When did it become so easy to get this angry? For a time, the tent was silent.

Then Gilda shifted, I heard talons scraping over wood, and the rope tightened painfully around my arms. "Don't you ever...EVER... talk about Dash like that." She was almost screaming, quivering with rage.

Now it was my turn to raise an eyebrow. "And why not? She made her choice." My mind flashed back to an early episode. Watching Gilda get tormented by pranks her best friend had hidden had been painful. "Why do you care? If she really missed you, why didn't she make time for you two to catch up?" I was sure my throat would be sore later, but I couldn't bring myself to care. "She made herself clear: If you didn't fit in with her little group, she didn't want you around."

The griffon sagged lightly against her restraints. "You weren't there...I can't just hate her, she was like my sister. We stuck together for years before she dropped out."

I closed my eyes. "I might as well have been..." I muttered, letting my head hang. I was exhausted, stiff, and unbelievably hungry. I hadn't had anything but bitter herb-paste for nearly two days. Luckily for me, Gilda let the conversation drop, and I drifted off without incident.

Applejack laid in her bed, eyes troubled and unfocused. Her hat lay tossed on the floor, her blonde mane as disheveled and wild as the thoughts racing through her head. Sighing, the orange mare turned to her side. Why would he do this? Ah've tried everythin Ah know ta git through to him, an he still wants ta run off... Applejack closed her eyes. Maybe Ah should jes let im go...Ah've done all Ah can.

Applejack's ears twitched and swiveled when her bedroom door ever so quietly creaked open, careful, light hoofsteps trying to sneak in. "A-Applejack?"

APPLE BLOOM! To. Your. Room. Applejack winced under her blanket as the memory of their last meeting played out in her mind. Slowly sitting up, she turned to look at her little sister. What she saw squeezed her heart with an icy grip.

Fear.

"Is it okay ta come outta mah room now?" The voice was quiet and soft, as if Apple bloom were afraid of setting her sister off. As Applejack moved, the little filly took an unconscious step back and flinched. Applejack's heart sank further.

The orange mare bit her lip, before hanging her head and closing her eyes. Steeling her resolve, she looked her sister in the eyes and pushed the blanket off her bed, patting the spot beside her. Hesitantly, Apple Bloom approached before hopping up. The orange mare put a foreleg around the filly, drawing her into a tight hug. "Apple Bloom, Ah am so sorry bout the way Ah treated you...Ah never shoulda yelled like that. Can ya forgive me?"

For a moment, Apple Bloom returned the embrace. Pulling away, she looked up at her sister, her eyes still glistening. "Why haven't ya been home? Big Mac's had ta take over all th'chores for weeks..." The filly let her head drop, her voice going near-silent. "Don't ya like it here no more?"

Guilt tore at Applejack, by now a far more familiar feeling than she would've liked. Jes how bad HAVE Ah let things get round here? Clearing her throat, Applejack tried to speak. "Ah...Ah hurt a critter real bad, an he was in th'hospital fer a while. Ah had ta stay an make sure he healed up right." Applejack's mouth set in a grim line. "Ah hurt 'im, so it was mah responsibility ta get 'im better."

"But what about us?" Apple Bloom spoke up, her confidence and voice returning. "Ain't we important too? We need ya here!" The little filly was nearing her limit, tiny body trembling and tears beginning to carve wet streaks in her fur. "B-Big Mac can't do it by himself! Granny says if we run any further behind, we could lose th'farm!" Apple Bloom collided with her sister, burying her muzzle in Applejack's coat. "Ah don' wanna go!"

Applejack's throat tightened as she held her sister, keeping her from speaking. Her face pinched with worry, the mare gently ran her hoof over her sister's mane. Ah'm back...ain't nothing bad gonna happen from now on. Ah swear it.

Twilight Sparkle slammed the door to the library behind her, making a bee-line up to her bed. The downtrodden alicorn's head hang low, her eyes cast to the floor and mouth curved into a miserable frown.

How could you have failed so?

Princess Celestia had seemed almost disgusted with her actions. With her. Flopping down onto the bed, Twilight burrowed under the blanket and covered her head with her pillow. Was I really THAT terrible? The concept seemed almost alien to her. Her encounter with the crea—with Jason had been so brief and so long ago, she could hardly remember it. She had only recently retrieved her crown from Sunset Shimmer at the time, and the idea of a human crossing the barrier between the worlds was an unpleasant one, but by no means impossible. So why didn't he just go back?

Twilight's face twisted into a grimace as she thought of her time in the parallel-Equestria. The copies of her friends were accurate enough, but there was still an undercurrent of predatory intelligence she had only seen once. Manticores and timberwolves were animals, creatures of instinct. They hunted for food, not malice.

"This day has been just perfect..."

Those twisted mockeries of ponies, those humans, held a cruelty and darkness that had very nearly destroyed Celestia herself when allowed to run amock.

"The kind of day of which I've dreamed since I was small!"

Twilight grit her teeth and furrowed her eyebrows. She knew that even one human in Equestria could be disastrous. Why wouldn't the princess listen to her?

"Every pony I'll soon control, every stallion, mare, and foal..."

And why was Applejack so dead-set on caring for him? Twilight groaned, pulling the pillow down tighter on her head. How long was Jason planning on manipulating her? Where would he go now? What would he do?

"Who says a girl can't really have it all?"

Author's Note

I'm not really happy with this chapter, but I'm trying to slow down a bit and let the characters absorb exactly what's happened in the past few chapters. We get to see how Applejack's obsession impacted her family, and take a look at some of the damage done to Twilight long before the story ever began. I'm mostly out of the funk I've been in, so expect longer chapters up here in the next week!

Chapter 13: Desperation

Author's Note

MOTHER OF FUCK THIS TOOK TOO LONG! On the other hand, WE'RE FINALLY OUT OF THE PONYVILLE ARC!!!

Desperation

Gilda and I were bound for two days. My arms had lost all feeling beyond a cold numbness, and my entire body was stiff and sore from being in the same uncomfortable position. I couldn't imagine Gilda being any better off, aside from having fur and feathers as a barrier between her skin and the rope. I was sure my wrists looked like my neck by now, but in the pitch black of the night I wouldn't be able to tell if they were right in my face.

I had stopped struggling the day prior, taken instead to sitting in silence and idly picking at the fibers of the rope that bound me, just trying to keep myself somewhat occupied so I wouldn't go mad. My movements became sluggish and uncoordinated as I lost feeling in my hands, so I had given up that particular pastime. Not that I really minded, I expected to be dead within another day or two.

That was one of the reasons I hadn't gone completely suicidal in my first month in Equestria. With the freezing Winters, cockatri, timberwolves, manticores, and God knows what else out there, I was certain I'd be dead before long. There had been no point to ending my own life when there were so many creatures who would be happy to do it for me. That I'd lasted three years was a miracle. An unwanted miracle from what I'm now certain was a vengeful, malevolent god, but a miracle nonetheless.

...Was there ever a god at all? I couldn't be sure. Either I was beyond my own deity's reach, it hadn't gotten tired of my misery yet, or I was well and truly alone here. I hadn't had much time to think of anything beyond my next meal in my cave. Now I was starting to miss the simplicity. The last three years had irreparably damaged me, and now that I sat and actually thought for the first time in I don't know how long, I knew there would be no going back to who I used to be.

Part of why I still found suicide so appealing, I suppose.

I heard more than felt the ropes shifting as Gilda moved. I heard her grumble, before starting to thrash about, much as she had before she fell asleep. I was sure the sharp tugs would be agony on my arms if I could feel them. Life did have it's mercies, I suppose.

"LET US OUT OF HERE YOU ASSHOLES!" I was somewhat surprised at her use of 'us' over 'me'. I hardly knew her, and we met on worse-than-awful terms. Why would she be including me in this? I winced slightly as a particularly sharp tug sent a stab of pain through my shoulder. I was sure it had been dislocated earlier by similar thrashings, and aside from the numbness from the biceps down, this was the most feeling I had. Gilda continued, thrashing and trying to claw at her ropes. Another tug. Another jolt of pain.

I growled and turned my head slightly to look over my shoulder. "Would you cut it out? You're not getting out of here." I closed my eyes, hoping she would take the advice and calm down so I could sleep.

Of course, no such luck. "So you're a quitter, huh?" The scorn in Gilda's words would've stung, I'm sure, if I had the energy to care. "You can stay here and rot if you want, but I'm getting out of here." The struggles continued. I sighed.

Gilda was not having a good night. Her spine was aching from being in the unnatural position for so long, and the rope was ruining her feathers. Already they were askew, several bent irreparably and others dangerously close to being plucked out by the harsh fibers. Her stomach was cramping horribly from hunger, and the strange monkey tied with her was on her last nerve with his whining.

"Would you cut it out? You're not getting out of here." Speak of the devil... Gilda clenched her talons and growled.

"So you're a quitter, huh?" She'd had just about enough of Jason's moaning. "You can stay here and rot if you want, but I'm getting out of here." Gilda lurched and pulled at the ropes, deliberately jostling Jason's own bindings. All she had to do was stretch so one of her claws could get at the rope...She grunted with the effort, the ropes biting painfully into her wrists. Almost there...

Scritch. The sound of a razor-sharp claw sawing through rope was barely audible in the small tent, but it might as well have been a victory-screech for the griffon. A faint smirk wormed it's way onto her beak, and she continued to claw at the binding. Scritch, scritch, scritch. With every pass, she came one step closer to freedom.

And freedom for the pessimistic monkey sitting behind her. He may have been annoying, but he didn't smell like a dog and he wasn't a pony. That left him as the best company in the camp.

Gilda promised herself to think about where her life turned wrong enough for that to happen.

Scritch scritch scri-SNAP! The ropes fell slack against the two and Gilda immediately stood, shaking the kinks out of her sore body. She looked over to Jason, and scowled.

"ZzzzzzzzZzzzzzz..."

Walking over to the monkey's side, she lifted a talon and swatted the back of his head. Jason jumped up with a yelp, a bluish deeply marked arm reaching up to his head. Gilda lost it at his petulant glare. "BAHAHAHAHAHA!" She sat on her haunches, one talon reaching up to hold her belly. "Ohoh, your face...Priceless."

Jason's scowl deepened. "Yep...you definitely know Rainbow." Using the pole as support, he slowly worked his way to an upright position. His legs were shaky and unsteady, but he was standing.

Gilda immediately stopped laughing, her face falling into a sore grimace. "Knew. Let's get out of here." Without another word, she turned and walked off.

I watched Gilda leave, her tail flicking in irritation. I should've known better than to throw that in her face, but I couldn't find it in myself to feel too bad about it. She may have been the best company I had, but she was still...abraisive. I sighed and stumbled after her, my legs numb and unsteady and my arms not much better. At least my left arm moved, though. My right hung limply at my side, almost completely immobile. My suspicions were confirmed: Dislocated.

That would be a bitch to fix alone, if I even could. For a brief moment, I wondered if Gilda would be able to help. Pushing the thought aside with a scoff, I shook my head. The real issue is her being willing to help.

"Hey, monkey-boy! Are you coming or what?" The call sounded like a siren over the calm stillness of the night, causing me to freeze. My eyes widened, and I gestured wildly with my working arm.

"Shhh! You'll wake them!" I hissed, whispering as loudly as I dared. Combined with my throat, it wasn't very loud. Nonetheless, Gilda must've heard me. I could barely make her out in the darkness, but I was certain her eyes were rolling.

Bitch.

I gave a silent huff and followed, slowly gaining more stability in my hobble as circulation was restored to my extremities. The air was cold, a chill biting into my bare skin. At this point it hardly phased me, so I pressed on.

Even though I really don't want to.

I pushed the thought from my mind. Now was NOT the time to start thinking like that. I could kill myself all I wanted when I got out of...wherever I was. The edge of the camp was in sight, and in mere seconds I had passed the last tent. "C'mon, Monkey-Boy. We're outta here." My head shot up at Gilda's voice breaking the tense silence, and looked, really looked at my situation.

I was free. No ponies, no cave, no torment, nothing but me and—

The smile that had started to form on my face dropped.

Gilda. Where did she fit in? I still wasn't sure if she was a friend or foe. She'd attacked me for practically no reason! Sure she'd freed me later, but that was just a bonus of her freeing herself.

Then again, she DID wait for me... Maybe she wasn't all bad? Times seemed tough for the camp, and they clearly weren't the type to forgive easily. The nicest had been the zebra, and she still made hitting me on the head with a big stick her favorite pastime. But she also healed me...

I growled to myself, shaking my head. Why was everything so damn complicated?! My frustration must've been more audible than I expected, because the sound of something landing heavily on the ground beside me jolted me out of my brooding. "What's eating you?"

I shook my head. "Nothing you need to be concerned about, Gilda. Personal issues." I would've been content to let it drop, but knowing Gilda, she would keep pestering—

"Nono, I just saved your sorry ass. You don't get to blow me off." She stepped in front of me, blocking my path with an annoyed glare.

I fucking called it.

I sighed and flopped my arms exasperatedly. "Fine! What do you want to know? I'm a goddamn open book, Gilda, please, I am really in the fucking mood for your bullshit!" I took a step forward, but Gilda stood her ground. I wasn't exactly used to that, being used to far more skittish ponies, so I was stuck almost brushing against the bristling griffon. "In the last three years I have been rained on, spat on, struck by lightning, starved, mauled, kicked, thrown, and shunned from every fucking pony I asked for help! I lived in a cave, ate out of garbage-cans, and just a month ago I'd FINALLY had enough!" I was almost screaming, my teeth bared and body shaking. "I couldn't take it anymore. So I took some rope from some farm-hick and hanged myself in the Everfree. But ponies ruined that for me too. By all rights, I should be dead. I WANT to be dead. I wish I'd never come to this fucking world at all! There isn't a single thing here worth living for!"

There was silence for several seconds as Gilda continued glaring at me. Finally, never breaking eye-contact, she raised a foreleg and placed a single talon at my throat. "You want to die?" I stared back. Continuing, she narrowed her eyes. "If you're going to be a coward, at least let me do it for you." She shoved me on the ground, pinning me in place with a paw. "You think you're so fucking special, like you're the only one having a rough time. If you really want to die, then lay there." She turned and continued walking away, legs stomping into the dewy grass. "Fucking dweeb..."

I must've sat there for twenty seconds, my mind trying to catch up. Looking in the direction Gilda walked off in, I gave a deep, frustrated sigh. I lurched to my feet and followed, grumbling all the while. Why do I put up with this?

Oh...right. She's all I've really got.

Chapter 14: Tension

Author's Note

And now that things are calming down, we can sit back and watch Jason's mind fray away into nothing. Isn't that fun?

Tension

Ponyville's Premier Party Pony walked back to Sugarcube Corner, lost in thought. The pink pony's hooves plodded against the ground at a sedate, almost sluggish pace. Her usually poofy, wild mane was sagging slightly, a single dark-pink lock hanging between her eyes. Baby-blue eyes scanned the road before her, dull and not really seeing what was in front of them.

For the first time in a long time, Pinkie Pie was lost.

Her mind once again drifted back to the last time she had seen her best friends. Applejack and Twilight were constantly at each other's throats, and she could do nothing to stop it. The usually bubbly mare shook the thoughts from her head. Stop thinking like a Saddie-Pie! It's your JOB to make everypony happy, you can't do that when you're down in the dumps.

At least Rainbow Dash had been in a good mood... But she was laughing for the wrong reasons. Pinkie's eyes immediately hardened. I don't care if it WAS a big, scary monkey-man, hurting things for fun is WRONG. Grinding her teeth, Pinkie Pie kicked in the door to the bakery and walked inside. The pudgy pastry pony behind the counter grinned, her frosting-like mane bobbing with her movement.

"Hello, dearie! Have a nice walk?" Cupcake, seeing the downtrodden expression on her pseudo-daughter's face, immediately dropped the smile in favor of a worried frown. "Pinkie...is everything alright?"

Pinkie Pie hardly spared Mrs. Cake a glance before heading up the stairs. "I just want...need to be alone for a bit." Cupcake almost flinched at the dismissal, so far removed from Pinkie's usual demeanor.

"O...Okay then, just...come to me if you need to tal—" The blue mare was cut off by the slamming of Pinkie's door. "...Talk." Cupcake sighed and cast her eyes downward, pity etched into her features.

In her room, Pinkie threw herself on the bed and curled up under the blanket. Burying her muzzle in her forehooves, she shut her eyes and tried to calm herself. It's true some days are dark and lonely...and maybe you feel sad, but Pinkie will be there to show you that it isn't that bad~" Whisper-singing into her forelegs, she recited the well-worn song, that particular line having brought her out of many slumps.

Was anypony there for it when it was lonely? The mare's mutinous mind interjected. Pinkie sighed and sank as low as she could into her mattress.

The sun filtering through my eyelids woke me up, but the hot pain in my arm kept me from drifting back off. Gripping my bad arm to minimize movement, I stiffly sat up and looked at my surroundings. I appeared to be in a small clearing, a pitiful fire puttering out near my feet. The wood was thrown haphazardly, as if whoever put it there had no idea what they were doing.

But how did it get there? My memory of the night prior was hazy at best, completely absent at worst. I vaguely remembered escaping, Gilda hitting me, then...nothing. I sighed and looked for any sign of the griffon.

Nothing on the ground.

Nothing in the air.

Nothing in the trees.

I slowly stood, my body protesting the movement, but by now I was well-versed into ignoring it's demands. My right arm hang limply, making my already unsteady walk even more unbalanced, but I'd managed on worse. For the first time since my...rescue, seems a good word...I was thinking clearly. No fever, no ponies acting crazy, no barn...I was back in the woods. Alone.

Familiar territory.

I had just started to walk away when I heard a WHOOSH followed by a hearty thump on the ground. "Where d'ya think YOU'RE going, monkey-boy?"

Oh, fuck me...

I schooled my features and turned around, looking at Gilda with a perfectly calm expression. "I-..."

Where was I going? Part of me wanted to go back to my cave and forget all about this, and part of me was positively screaming to be back in that barn with Applejack. The thought repulsed me—Applejack was beginning to reach "Misery" levels of creepy, and being treated like an animal was not very pleasant—but a faceless, voiceless corner of my mind told me that there is where I would find comfort.

In my thoughts, I didn't notice Gilda sidle up beside me. "You seriously think I'd let you walk away after dragging your heavy ass out here?" She let out a snort, "I busted you out, you're with me until we're even."

I blinked, and looked down at myself. Heavy? It was true, I could hardly see my own ribs through my skin. So much of Applejack's cooking had added quite the pudge. I needed to get rid of it as soon as possible. I sighed and looked up at the sky, unable to look at my own body any more. "...Sorry."

Gilda rolled her eyes and walked back to the remains of the fire to lay down. She pulled a couple squirrels out from under her wing, and immediately tore into one. I looked down just in time to catch the last against my chest.

I could cook this up and finally get some protein in me. It wasn't much, but anything is better than nothing.

But I also needed to lose that layer of softness if I wanted to survive. Fat people don't last in the woods. Looking back up to Gilda, I tossed the morsel back. "No thanks...not hungry." I hope she didn't hear my stomach groan in disappointment from her position. To my relief—and slight disappointment—she didn't argue, simply devouring the second squirrel as quick as the first.

I sat down beside her, wincing as my right arm awkwardly hit my leg. Gilda looked over, her eyes widening. "What the Hel did you do?!" I blinked, before looking at my arm.

I hadn't noticed before, but my shoulder and upper arm were swollen and bruised a dark blue. I hardly had time to process it before I was pushed onto my back, my right wrist gripped tightly by Gilda's talons and one of her feline hind-paws pressing into my side for leverage.

"Wha-YEAAARGH!!!" I shouted, gritting my teeth and clawing at the ground with my free hand. What was this crazy woman doing?! She had forcefully pulled my arm out straight, almost like she was trying to rip it off. I arched my back, feet kicking out at nothing. Already my throat was going raw, and it had only been—

POP

Relief...

I went completely limp once my shoulder popped back into place, Gilda immediately releasing me. I tossed my head back over to look at her, trying to blink the black spots out of my vision.

"Ha...how did..." I blinked again. The black was blotting out everything, until eventually it was all I knew.

For the second time that day, I awoke in that field. Only this time, I wasn't alone. Gilda was watching me with an annoyed expression, tapping her talons on her crossed forelegs. "Have a nice nap, dweeb?"

My expression soured, and I took a breath to retort. "I—"

"Chicks can dislocate their wings during intense flying. I've seen it happen. And they don't scream like you. Or pass out." I winced slightly, but my glare didn't lessen. After a moment, however, I sighed and slumped down.

"How long was I out?" I just wanted to drop it. I didn't know how much more humiliation I could take.

"Twenty minutes. On your feet, we're wasting daylight!" She sounded impatient, so I took my sweet time. Payback's a bitch. Once I finally managed to stand, Gilda started walking. I rushed to keep up.

"Where we headed?" I asked, having to remain close so my hoarse voice could be heard.

Without turning her head, Gilda replied. "Canterlot. I'm leaving you at the outskirts. I'm not gonna set foot in that Helhole."

Now I was confused. "I thought you wanted me to stick with you?" I was somewhat hurt. I thought we'd bonded in the tent, even if we still weren't exactly friendly. "There has to be SOMETHING I can do..."

Gilda turned on me, scowling. "You cry like a chick. You get hurt more than anything I've seen. You whine. You can't fly, and you don't have claws. What, exactly, are you good for?" She turned and continued walking, tail twitching in agitation. "Get out of my feathers, and we're even."

I couldn't move. My mind had simply...stopped. I couldn't even begin to process what I'd heard.

"You coming?"

I shook my head and swallowed the well of shame, managing a quick "yeah" before following. I focused on the sky. The trees. The grass. The wind.

Anything but what I'd just heard.

Chapter 15: Spite

Spite

I trailed after Gilda with my head low, eyes cast to the ground directly in front of me.

What good are you?

The words burned at me. I'd known in the back of my mind for a while, but only just now had it been so blatantly thrown in my face by another. I could write and manipulate fine tools like no earth-pony or pegasus, but unicorn magic outclassed my fingers by a mile. Ponies were stronger and faster than me, and I'm sure some were far smarter. I couldn't fly, I was only a passable cook, and my only outstanding skill was with computers Equestria didn't have. I had nothing that made me useful or outstanding.

Not for the first time, I became aware of just how incredibly stupid I'd been to make that jump. This was not my world. I had no place here.

I was not welcome.

I sighed for what must've been the tenth time in the last ten minutes. I needed to forget about it. Once I was in Canterlot, I could think of what to do next. A mirthless smile wormed its way onto my face as a grim thought entered my mind. At least I'll be able to find a nice cliff to jump off of.

Pinkie Pie laid wrapped up in her blanket, fading in and out of half-asleep daydreams. She had gotten tired of moping and beating herself up hours ago, now content to sit and feel nothing. Her eyes rolled lazily towards the ceiling when a flash of light filled her room, remaining silent and motionless.

"Hel~lo, my dear!" A jovial, masculine voice shouted. Pinkie rolled over in her bed, staring at the intruder with a half-lidded, annoyed look.

"What do you want, Discord?" Her voice, usually so upbeat and manic, had taken a striking monotone. Discord, instead of simply continuing with no care to the mood of the room (as he often did) actually recoiled.

"Want? So I can only pop in when I want something?" Discord placed his mismatched forelegs on his serpentine hips, an admonishing glare staring down at the moping pony. "Maybe I just wanted to have a little chat with my good friend Pinkie Pie. That is what a good friend does, right?" Pinkie Pie watched with a dispassionate glare before rolling back over, pulling her blanket over her head.

"But I'm not a good friend." She muttered. "I never introduced somepony to Ponyville, and he wound up getting hurt really, really bad." The pink pony curled herself into a tight ball on the mattress, her muzzle under her hooves. "Nopony knew him and everypony was super scared of him and Rainbow Dash hurt him and it was all my fault!"

Discord tapped his chin, raising an eyebrow in thought. "...Yeah, that was pretty terrible of you." Pinkie flinched under the blanket. "All it would've taken is one certain party-pony to cheer him up and show him around town, and none of it would've happened. I heard he even attempted suicide! Dear me, that's absolutely unheard of in Equestria!"

Pinkie shoved her ears against her skull with her forehooves. "Stop..."

Discord, as per usual, ignored the plea and pressed on. "I'd go so far as to say he hasn't smiled once in all his time here." He shook his head, tsking in disappointment.

Pinkie leapt out of the bed, glaring daggers at the draconequus. "What would you know about making ponies happy?" She strode forward, pressing her forehead against Discord's. "Do you think I don't KNOW I hurt somepony? I feel awful! You don't need to rub it in like a mean...mean...MEANY-FACE!"

Discord chuckled and patted Pinkie's lifeless hair condescendingly. "Rub it in? My dear, I'm congratulating you!" The pink mare pulled back, a hint of confusion mixed with the animosity in her gaze. Discord grinned and continued, "even when I ruled all of Equestria, I never managed to make a pony kill themselves. You truly have a gift for misery, Pinkie Pie." Another pat on the head, and Discord stuck a blue ribbon to Pinkie's snout.

Pinkie snapped at the eagle-claw as it pulled away, barely missing. Discord chuckled, turning towards the door to leave. Glaring at his back, Pinkie almost shouted, "Why are you doing this? Are you gonna try to take over again?"

Discord turned with a confused expression. "Moi? Plan a coup? My dear, you must have me confused for another devilishly handsome draconequus. You see, I'm reformed." With a theatrical bow, Discord disappeared.

Pinkie growled, stomping her hooves on the ground. Leaping onto the bed, she burrowed under the blanket with a surly grimace stuck on her face.

I sighed, my pace gradually quickening as life returned to my legs. My arm was regaining some mobility, though it was still impossibly sore. Pain has been a daily reality, so I didn't let it get to me. Just one foot in front of the other. Don't think about anything else. The feline tail wagging just at the edge of my vision was the only thing keeping me going.

Step. Step. Step. My mind slowly drifted from the monotony to other matters. My hands were shaking and my body felt weak, and the incessant grumbling of my stomach was grating on my nerves. A part of me kicked myself for not taking the offered food earlier...But if I wanted even a slight chance at being accepted at Canterlot, I couldn't be a pudgy slob.

Not that I thought I was overweight, but Gilda's was the only opinion I had. Things here are clearly different, I'd accepted that years ago. But I'd never guessed that my weight would be the reason for the locals' distaste for me.

"Bwa-ha-HAAA! Get away, you vile creature! I will NOT have a boorish, lanky dog in my boutique!"

The memory brought me pause. Even three years later, the memories of my first days in Equestria were sharp and complete, as the worst memories often are. But how could I be described as 'lanky' on my first days at what I thought was a (reasonably) healthy weight, and chubby the better half of a hundred pounds lighter?

And why did she call me a dog, anyway?

I shook the thoughts from my head. Trying to understand these ponies was pointless, trying to get them to understand me even moreso. It didn't matter why they did what they did, just that I try to avoid setting someone off.

"How much longer?"

Gilda turned one perpetually-annoyed eye towards me. "Three days, at this pace. We'd be there in one, if someone could fly.

I didn't respond.

Author's Note

Short chapter, but my computer crapped out on me halfway through. So...there you go.

Chapter 16: Disbelief

Disbelief

The next three days went by with a similar monotony, Gilda and I rarely speaking unless necessary. I'd nibbled at a rabbit somewhere along the line, managing to choke down enough to satisfy her. It couldn't have been more than a mouthful, but my stomach felt uncomfortably tight and swollen regardless. Nonetheless, I was no longer hungry.

I still felt sick when we finally put the forest behind us, causing a lingering dread to melt from my body. Despite my abysmal condition, I still managed to feel immeasurable relief to be out of that place.

And apparently I wasn't the only one. Gilda groaned and ruffled her feathers, wings splayed horizontally as she began stretching, arching her spine and splaying her fore-talons down across the grassy plain.

I most certainly did not watch in rapt attention, memorizing every contour of the lean, defined feline hindquarters in front of me.

...There may have been one glance out of pure curiosity, but it was brief. Just long enough for me to see that there was absolutely nothing human or familiar about her...anatomy. I lost interest soon after, assuring myself that I was not desperate enough to find a non-human attractive.

"-ey! HEY!" I blinked and stared owlishly at my companion, now sporting something between a disgusted grimace and a furious snarl. "Eyes up here, buddy."

My expression dropped into an annoyed glare. "Trust me, the view isn't all it's cracked up to be." I walked past her, looking up at the mountain. It looked a lot smaller from the other side of the Everfree...Nonetheless I was sure I could make it on my own. "I can make it on my own. If you want to leave now, I won't stop you."

I heard the impact before I felt it, what felt like a sledgehammer hitting between my shoulder blades and knocking me to the ground.

Grass tasted horrible.

"You do not walk away from me." Gilda hissed, a talon pressed down on my head to keep me stationary.

"I feel like we've been here before, have we been here before?" I'm sure my detached attitude was some sort of warning, but I didn't recognize it at the time.

"Shut UP!" Gilda yelled, breathing heavily. "What the Hel is wrong with you?"

"You've gotta be more specific, there's a lot wrong with me." A steadily growing part of me grinned at the unintelligible mess of syllables that poured from the furious griffon's beak.

What's the matter bitch, can't take your own punishment?

"I-wha-bu-..." Gilda dug her claws into my back unconsciously, her beak clenched almost to the point of cracking. "Why aren't you taking any of this seriously? I could kill you any time I want! I could leave you stranded here at the base of the mountain! You pick now to try and be funny?"

I slipped my arms under my chest and shoved hard as I could, dislodging the enraged griffon from my back. I stood, ignoring the stinging pain and hot wetness tricking down by back, and turned to Gilda with as calm an expression I could muster. "I...just don't give a shit." At the confused expression, I continued. "I've been here for three years. I'm never getting back. The ponies here hate me. You hate me." I shrugged with a nonchalance I didn't feel, forcing myself to speak through the lump in my throat. "You said it yourself. I have no skills or abilities that can't be done twice as well by a pegasus or unicorn. Being unique is only good if it makes you useful, and I'm...not." I took a deep breath, trying to keep the shakiness from my voice. "Once I'm dead, I won't be a burden to you. I won't get in the ponies' way. It's noble, in a way. I'll bet I get some sort of medal posthumous for making Equestria a better place."

A silence fell over us. After a moment, Gilda strode over to me, head held low, and—OOF!

Yep...that was a fist to the gut...

"Where the HEL do you get off accusing me like that!" Gilda roared, her voice still somehow prevalent in my mind despite the pain in my everywhere. "What the HEL makes you think I hate you?! Who the HEL do you think you are?" I tuned out most of the rest of her tirade, trying to get my breath back.

No real damage, just a lot of pain. Finally, some good news.

"Would you give it a rest, already?" I grumbled in a wheezing voice, still holding my aching belly. "It doesn't matter anyway."

Another growl of frustration met me. "It matters to me."

I took a deep, calming breath. "You made it clear how you felt about me. You never talk unless it's to order me around or insult me. You stay as far away as you can. And you told me outright you were leaving as soon as we got to Canterlot. Tell me, exactly what part of that doesn't mean you hate me?"

Gilda's fur raised on end, glaring at me. "I was perfectly civil! You're the one who was always beating around the bush and being all standoffish. I said I was leaving because I thought you wanted me to leave."

"Bullshit, don't try to pin this all on me," I yelled, "I don't care what kind of culture you griffons have, I'm pretty sure bitch is universal!"

"Don't you call me a bitch!" She shrieked, digging her talons into the ground.

In any other situation, I would've been intimidated. But fuck that. "Don't you fucking tell me what to do!"

"Whiny dweeb!"

"Obnoxious dyke!"

Gilda recoiled, but lost none of her rage. "Fuck you!"

"Fuck YOU!"

"FUCK YOU!"

"FUCK! YOU!"

Gilda and I were nose-to-beak, glaring daggers at one-another. I was hunched over and she was craning her neck, but despite our awkward poses neither of us were willing to back off. Gilda because of some dominance issue, and me because fuck Gilda. The staring-contest lasted for an incredibly awkward moment, until she took a step back and turned away. "...Then go."

"With pleasure," I growled, standing upright and walking towards the mountain.

Fuck mountains, I thought. Fuck walking, and fuck Celestia for building a castle so fucking high up! I continued trudging along, the winding path up the mountain almost sending me over the edge multiple times. I panted and wheezed constantly, the cool air and sweat dripping from exertion causing my near-bare form to shiver violently.

I hardly noticed when I reached a small building by the side of the road, nearly bumping into it before a voice snapped me out of my thoughts. "Halt!" I looked towards the building, seeing a white unicorn guard stepping out to confront me. "State your name!"

I rolled my eyes, but complied. I didn't have the patience or energy to cause another scene. "Jason Wright. And before you ask, human. I'm here to see the Princess."

The guard skimmed through a scroll, before narrowing his eyes at me. "There's no record of you. What is your business with Princess Celestia?"

"She and I go way back." Not technically a lie. "I was informed by the princess herself I would always be welcome in her castle, should the need arise." This was a lie. "If you'd like to turn away a close friend of Celestia's, be my guest. The guard could always use some extra hooves on latrine-duty." I had absolutely no idea if the bluff would work, but from the guard's expression, it did.

"...Enjoy your stay in Canterlot, Mr. Wright."

I nodded and continued into the city. I had some choice words for a certain alicorn...

Chapter 17: Vertigo

Vertigo

I was somewhat surprised by the scene I caused just by walking through Canterlot. I'd never seen such blatant cowardice, let alone because of me. At least the Ponyville ponies had the decency to chase me away instead of running around in circles. This was just obnoxious, and I was in no mood for the headache the screaming was giving me.

"THE HORROR! THE HORROR!"

I took a deep breath and bit my tongue, walking towards the castle. Just shut up and keep moving, it'll all be over soon...

It was my luck that all of Canterlot's roads inevitably ran to the castle. All I had to do was follow mine and I'd get there relatively unmolested.

Thwap!

Yep, just keep calm and ignore the annoying stick.

Thwap! "Begone, beast!" Thwap!

...

Thwap!

Jason's gonna have to smack a bitch. I turned and reached for whatever was hitting me, grabbing what looked like a saber from a unicorn's levitation. The blade bit into my palm from how tight I was clenching my fist, but it didn't break the skin. Dull. From the rattling, it'll probably fall apart if I hold it wrong. I turned my unimpressed gaze to the shaking stallion, frozen in place.

I closed my eyes and took a deep, hissing inhale, exhaling and directing my irritated stare back to the terrified pony. "This yours?" It was a stupid question, he had a very obvious empty sheath slung over his barrel. Still, I wanted to give him a chance to walk away. Not quite sure why. Maybe I'm just a really nice guy.

The stallion gulped and raised his head. "It is an ancient family heirloom, passed to me from my father, and his father before him! It has slain many a beast, monster!"

No it hadn't. A sword like this couldn't slay butter. I'd seen these at malls and flea-markets back on Earth. If I was right, then one sharp bend over my knee should—

Snap!

"Bwa-bu-bu...b-but how?!" The stallion sputtered, glancing between the blade and handle which had suddenly been liberated from each other. I bit my lip to keep from grunting, dropping the pieces to the ground and turning to walk away.

I decided to keep quiet and continue walking. I still had a princess to talk to.

For the first time in what felt like forever, all of Twilight's friends were together in the same room. Despite the... tension between them, all five had agreed to accompany her to speak to Celestia. And while Rainbow Dash and Rarity were the only ones who mirrored her understanding of the trouble Equestria could face, none of the others had commented on her dislike for the human.

Nevertheless, she still felt like they were drifting away from her. And it hurt. Pinkie's sullen, hostile mood was by far the most jarring, but Applejack's look of disappointment and utter disgust twisted the knife deeper. Even Fluttershy had been driven back into her shell, staying as far away from the group as she could without being too noticeable and refusing to speak unless spoken to.

"Please, Princess...I wouldn't come all the way here unless this was urgent!" Twilight pleaded. "We need to organize a search-party and track down the human before he causes any more trouble. We need to hurry!"

Princess Celestia's expression was unreadable, a poker face perfected through millennia of politics. After a moment, she nodded. "A search-party will be formed. I will have the guard comb all of Equestria if I have to."

Twilight grinned and nodded, "thank you Prin—"

"But not for the reasons you've mentioned."

Twilight's smile turned to a confused, somewhat apprehensive frown. "...Why not?"

Celestia let a small frown show through her mask. "I may have only known the human for a day, but he hardly seemed the type to cause trouble. He was enchanted by Equestria from the moment he arrived. If he truly is 'on the loose' as you say, I doubt he is so of his own will."

Twilight blinked, even more confused than before. "Only for a day? But you told me he was a dear friend!"

Celestia's frown turned just as confused, but before she could respond, the doors were thrown open. A scrawny, weathered man walked through, bare except for a grimy, muddy towel haphazardly draped around his bony hips. Dark ropy hair nearly obscured shadowed eyes, and the scruffy human had a seemingly permanent scowl. "Princess! We need...to..."

I threw open the throne-room doors as dramatically as I could, storming through with a purpose. "PRINCESS!" I bellowed, making sure my voice carried. "We need...to...uhh..." I was suddenly and painfully aware of the other occupants of the room. In particular, a certain blue one. Who looked ready to charge.

Oh, fuck me.

I had only a split second to react. I slammed the doors shut and walked back where I came from, just as a rumbling THUD made the door shake, followed by angry muffled shouts. I quickened my pace to a stiff speed-walk, muttering a mantra of "No, no, no, no," taking a turn up a staircase as soon as I could.

Maybe if I get out of her line of sight, I'll—

The voices became much clearer as the door was opened, one voice in particular getting closer very quickly.

Oh FUCK! I leapt up the stairs two and three at a time, tearing off into the first hall I saw. My bare feet slapped against the stone floor with every step, blood roaring through my ears so loudly I could scarcely hear anything else. I could practically feel Rainbow's breath on my neck, inwardly thanking whoever was listening that I had the advantage in winding, cramped hallways.

Still, I didn't dare try and hide. I didn't dare turn back. My jumbled mind couldn't put together a clear picture of what would happen if I was caught, but I had enough experience to know that it would be bad.

I continued running, I'm not sure for how long. Several times I was certain I'd felt the breeze from a pair of wings, but had been too terrified to turn around to check. My heart felt like it was trying to break out of my chest, and I could feel my body trembling through the exertion of running for my life. My breath was coming in ragged gasps, until I ducked into an open door and slammed it behind me. Locking the knob and pressing my back to the wood, I slid down to the ground.

Christ, I was tired... I pressed my head into my hands, ignoring the violent tremors running through my body, "J-just leave me ALONE!" I shouted, curling my body slightly when the door shook from a heavy blow.

I knew I couldn't run anymore. I didn't want to. I shakily stood just as I heard the wood start to give, making my way to a large window. I slid the glass aside, and stepped out onto a small stone balcony. The chill of the high-altitude bit my skin, but I didn't have the energy to react. I looked down at the ground, the buildings and roads looking more like a play-set than a full city. I could hardly make out the ponies on the street, faint dots against the ground. "Fuck..." I grit my teeth and screwed my eyes shut. "FUUUUUUUCK!!!"

The door splintered open, and I turned around to greet my pursuers. Crouched low with wings spread was, of course, Rainbow Dash. Applejack stood behind her, looking wholly uncomfortable. Twilight and Fluttershy followed soon after, each looking far more winded than the previous two. There was no sign of the others.

"Wait until the princess sees I caught the human all by myself!" Rainbow crowed, giving a positively vicious grin. I took a step back, my back bumping into the balcony ledge. I gripped it for dear life.

"N-no...wait..." Twilight wheezed, getting her breath under control. "Just capture him so we can send him back where he came from!"

I decided to interject, however weak my voice was. "I can't go back. Ever. That was the deal." I turned towards the rail and hoisted myself up until I was balanced on top, slowly turning towards the ponies.

The telltale clip-clop of hooves on stone made my eyes jerk up to meet the orange mare, her Stetson held down over her chest and eyes pleading. "Jason, ya aint gotta do this...Ah can take ya back to the farm! Would ya like that? Ah'll cook for ya every day, ya aint gotta lift a hoof!"

I shook my head and closed my eyes. "You just don't get it, do you?" I gulped and opened my arms. "There is no going back. If I don't end it, it'll never end."

I tilted my head back and allowed myself to drop.

Falling, especially from a high place, isn't entirely unpleasant if you just let go. The weightlessness and wind rushing past you is almost therapeutic, in a way. As long as I didn't open my eyes, I could pretend it was all a dream. That I was just skydiving, something I'd always wanted to try but never had the guts to go through with.

A faint smile wormed its way onto my face. Finally, finally it was over...

Except it wasn't. A golden light filtered through my eyelids, and I felt my body jerk violently as I was halted in midair. An unpleasant warm, tingling sensation enveloped me, and when I opened my eyes, I saw myself slowly rising back towards the castle. No, no, no, NO! "LET ME GO! LET ME GO GOD DAMN YOU!" I thrashed and swung my fists ineffectually, even as I was deposited onto the stone floor.

I heard more than saw Celestia walk towards me. A large, white feathered wing came down over my shoulders, but I slapped it away and staggered to my feet. My hands clenched and relaxed almost against my own will, and my breath came in short, shaky huffs between clenched teeth. "Don't touch me!"

To her credit, Celestia didn't flinch. Retracting her wing, she took a step forward. "It doesn't have to be like this. We can help, if you—"

"Fuck you!" I snarled. "After everything that's happened, you think I want your help?"

"HEY!" And suddenly, magenta eyes were glaring at me from a nose away. "Nopony talks that way to the princess!"

I growled and reared my fist back, but before I could let it fly, the pegasus was tugged out of reach by Celestia's magic. The alicorn's expression was clearly a mask of calmness, trying to placate me. It didn't work. "What do you want, Jason?"

It took me a second to form a response. In the three years I'd been here, I'd hardly had time to focus on that. At first I wanted to be accepted. Hell, up until a few months ago I'd hoped it could happen. But now... "I want to be left alone. I don't want to see you or your ponies again as long as I live." But surely she wouldn't agree to something like that.

"Deal." ...What? "On one condition." There we go. "Stay in Canterlot for one month. I'll send these ones back to Ponyville. You will be given a room in the castle, and I will personally oversee your rehabilitation."

I bit my lip. A month in the castle? Therapy? What did Celestia think she was doing? It would only delay the inevitable. Then again...it would only delay the inevitable. If she kept to her word, then I'd be free to go after, and she couldn't do shit.

I really had no choice. I could jump again, but she'd just catch me. Again.

"...Fine. One month."

"Wait-wait-wait...you're really gonna let him loose in Canterlot?!" Rainbow rounded on Celestia. "What if he takes off? Or hurts somepony?"

"I have to agree, Princess." Twilight voiced, trying to remain calm. "He is clearly very unpredictable. There's no way to make sure he won't go berserk."

"Fuck you too, nerd." I grumbled.

Celestia raised a hoof to silence us before continuing. "Should he cause any harm to any pony or property, he will be held responsible. However, seeing as most of his time will be spent with either my sister or myself, the chances he will have the opportunity are slim."

A couple years ago, the prospect of meeting Princess Luna would have made me giddy. As it was, I rolled my eyes and continued my grumbling.

Fucking ponies...

Chapter 18: Contact

Contact

Princess Celestia was not happy. A creature she had entrusted to her ponies had just returned, starved and weathered. How did this happen? She thought, forcing herself to look away from his malnourished form. "Twilight, I must ask you and your friends to wait in the throne room while I sort Jason out." Her tone left no room for argument as she stiffly walked out the door, beckoning Jason to follow.

Celestia ignored the grumbles of discontent from the mares, hoping Jason would do the same. The thought of the human caused her mask to crack, allowing a fatigued frown to creep across her muzzle. He was so polite before...what happened to him? The alicorn swore to herself she would get to the bottom of it. Speaking of, Jason was being incredibly quiet. She'd expected grumbles or shouts from him, anything but silence. "Jason, you're being awfully quiet. There's no need to censor yourself for my sake. You must be angry." She tried not to sound suspicious or accusatory, but inwardly flinched at her utter failure.

If Jason felt insulted, he didn't show it. "I'm absolutely livid. But lashing out and complaining won't fix anything." She could almost feel his shrug.

Despite herself, the white alicorn smiled. "That didn't stop you earlier."

Jason let out a frustrated sigh before continuing. "I thought if I was difficult enough, you'd thrown me back off the balcony."

The reminder of the suicide attempt jammed a dagger into Celestia's chest. Over her thousands of years, the number of suicides she'd seen could be counted on one of Jason's hands. The Princess let the matter drop, returning the pair to an uncomfortable silence.

"So..." Jason ventured, picking up the pace until he was alongside the princess, "what's this 'rehab' you're putting me through, anyway?" He raised an eyebrow, not quite looking at her.

Celestia quirked a corner of her mouth up, before replying. "First thing's first...you need a bath." After a quick sniff and grimace, she amended, "possibly several."

I scowled and looked away, holding my arms just a tad closer to my sides. Fuck you too Princess, we'll see how you smell after what I've been through. "And I don't reckon you'll let me bathe alone?" I doubted I'd be alone at all for the next month...great. Just what I need. A dozen ponies breathing down my neck.

"After you tried jumping off a balcony? No. I intend to keep you safe. Even if it means protecting you from yourself." I flinched slightly at Celestia's tone. Christ, she sounds like an angry mother...

I sighed and kept silent, allowing the remainder of the walk to pass in silence. The halls were eerily empty, and the decoration seemed to get gradually more and more grand as we walked. By the time Celestia stopped at a large, ornate door I could hardly keep my eyes open from all the gold and gems in the walls, doors, and trim. "We're here, I take it?"

I was more interested in the door, but I'm fairly certain Celestia nodded. "The Royal Suite. This is where you'll be staying."

I turned towards the crazy mare and cautiously raised an eyebrow. "...But don't you live here?" What's she trying to pull?

Celestia nodded again, with what I'm sure was an impish smirk. "And my sister. As I said, you are to have somepony watching over you at all times. With me here all night and Luna resting during the day, there is always somepony here."

I managed to keep a level expression through that...revelation. And I thought Applejack was creepy... "And I suppose there's no way for me to get out of this?"

The Solar Diarch seemed a little too happy when she shook her head. "Not until we feel you can be trusted on your own." Celestia then proceeded to giggle and...clap? Clop? Clop her forehooves together like an excited girl. "It'll be like a sleepover~"

Okay. I am officially freaked out. What the Hell is going on here? I raised an eyebrow and crossed my arms. "You're awfully excited about this." I tried keeping the accusation out of my voice. Just not very hard.

The giddy mare sobered immediately, though the ghost of a smile was still plastered on her muzzle. "...Apologies. I get so few opportunities to be myself in company other than my sister." And then the smile dropped completely. "I am a pony too, Jason. If you haven't noticed, we are somewhat excitable."

"HAH!" I barked, doubled over slightly and holding my stomach. Understatement of the century... I was about to let loose a golden nugget of snark when a white fuzzy fetlock was pressed to my mouth.

"Shhh!" I dropped my expression to the flattest of flat stares and slowly, slowly turned my head to Celestia.

"Grrt yrr hff rff mr frrce." Get. Your. Hoof. Off. My. Face. My muffled message must've been received, because she lowered her hoof almost immediately.

"Again, my apologies. My sister is...not overly happy when awoken early." Images of being blown away by THE ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE filled my mind, and I shuddered with a silent nod.

Celestia waited another moment to see if I had accidentally awoken the Lunar Princess before, apparently satisfied, ushering me to the bathroom.

And what a bathroom it was! The tub was already filled, steam rolling off the crystal-clear water. The tub itself looked like a small pool, easily able to hold ten people. There were many bottles scattered about, most of which I had no clue the purpose of. Loofahs, scrubbers, sponges, and brushes were sprawled haphazardly all over the place, and a distinctly feminine, floral scent hung in the air strong enough to almost make my eyes water.

I was hardly able to take it all in before being lifted by magic (which sucked by the way—have I mentioned that?), having the grubby, threadbare towel stripped from my waist, and being gently placed in the tub. Being manhandled—ponyhandled? Annoying, but I could deal with it. Being dumped in a tub? that was pushing it. Stripping me against my will?

Fuck that noise.

I stood and made to simply walk out, but was forcibly sat back down by that damnable golden glow. "I can bathe myself, Princess." I made sure to inject as much irritation into my voice as I could, though it came out as more of a petulant whine.

"I don't doubt that." That giggle says otherwise, you crazy bi— "But part of your rehabilitation includes learning to accept friendly physical contact."

"Bathing me like a fucking child isn't friendly, Celestia. It's creepy!" I almost shouted. If I wouldn't just be plucked out of the air by her magic, I would've run off half a dozen times by now.

Celestia rolled her eyes. "You sound like a colt..." She sighed and lowered her head. "But baby-steps, I suppose. If I turn around and let you bathe yourself, would you be more comfortable?"

I didn't let my glare waver for a second. "I'd be even more comfortable if you'd wait outside the door."

"I can't do that, Jason. I'm taking enough of a risk taking my eyes off you."

Fucking... "Alright, fine...Just turn around, and don't say a word." After she did so, I looked to the bottles lining the tub.

Now, which of these is the soap?

Twilight Sparkle's feathers were thoroughly, irrevocably, irreparably ruffled. The lavender alicorn was pacing a trench in the throne-room floor, muttering to herself. And it was driving Applejack nuts. "Jes' give it a rest Twilight, yer makin' the rest of us all nervous too."

Twilight whipped around to her friend, eyes wide and hair frazzled. "Nervous? Nervous? The most terrible creature in the universe is all alone with Princess Celestia right now, and I'm making you nervous?!"

"Now yer jes' being silly," Applejack replied, "Jason's a bit odd, and ugly as sin, but he's not that bad once ya git ta know him. What's got ya so dead-set against 'im anyhow?"

"You know what, Applejack." Twilight glowered.

"No, Ah really don't. Matter o' fact, nopony knows. Ya been so tight-lipped about what happened through that mirror, and it's obvious to anypony with half a brain that it's eatin' ya somethin' fierce." Applejack approached and extended a foreleg across Twilight's withers, dropping her voice back down. "If ya can't tell us, how can we understand what yer goin' through?"

Twilight gulped and took a deep breath, fighting to regain some semblance of control. "Do you really want to know?" She really, really hoped she didn't.

"I believe we all do, dear." Another voice chimed in, and another body pressed against Twilight's own. The lavender mare glanced towards Rarity, who added, "It's clear you're in pain, what kind of friends would we be if we let you take that burden alone?"

Twilight sighed and let her body deflate slightly, closing her eyes. "Fine..." She looked up with a fierce, sharp glare. "But this never leaves the room. Promise?"

Chapter 20: Unforgiven

Author's Note

Unforgiven

"Twilight, a word please?"

The lavender alicorn gulped, a chunk of ice materializing in her stomach. She hesitantly approached, eyes to the floor. Twilight Sparkle...After all the lessons you have learned, how could you have failed so?

Pushing the memory from her mind, she forced herself to look up at Celestia. "Ye...Yes Princess?" She stumbled over her words, her throat tight with worry.

Celestia's mouth was drawn into a grim line, her eyes showing an inner turmoil instead of their usual warmth. She refused to even meet Twilight's gaze when she curtly muttered, "walk with me."

Walking side-by-side with her once-mentor was proving to be a test of Twilight's nerves, made far worse by the separation from her friends. The Princess' unshakable calm had been shattered thoroughly, exposing a side Twilight had only seen when she had confronted Discord. Twilight shuddered at the memory. Celestia had expressed displeasure, true, but that was the only time she had been openly angry.

Twilight was certain Celestia was angry. Perhaps even banishment angry...

Celestia stopped at a door familiar to Twilight. The room she had often passed out from exhaustion in after a day of intense magical training. Why did she bring me to her room?

To Twilight's confusion, Celestia knocked instead of simply walking in. "Jason? I've brought a friend. I want you to stay calm when you see her, alright?"

Jason? The human? Oh sweet Celestia, he's in her room? A muffled too-deep voice grumbled from behind the door, before it was opened. Twilight immediately looked up, the wet-haired human glancing quizzically at Celestia before his eyes landed on her. A brief flash of terror ran through his eyes, followed by an inequine fury that faded as quickly as the fear. The human's flat face and too-small eyes settled on a tight, impassive expression before he turned without a word and walked back into the room.

Twilight gulped and looked pleadingly up at Celestia, the princess' eyes still glued to Jason with a mix of worry and pity. Sighing, the lavender mare let herself in.

"Any particular reason you brought her here, Princess?" Jason rumbled, his voice harsh and unpleasant to Twilight's ears. He sat down in the chair—the only chair, Twilight noted with a twinge of annoyance—with his stilt-like legs crossed.

Twilight bit back a response, letting Celestia's disapproving gaze shut him up in her stead.

"You made several serious accusations, Jason," Celestia spoke, "these matters are best dealt with as quickly as possible. Twilight is here to give her side of things."

"What did you tell her?" Twilight growled through clenched teeth, eyes narrowed and ears folded back against her skull.

His own eyes hardened, his perpetual scowl turning into a grimace. "The truth, you little..." A glance at Celestia and the word was recalled, though he continued on unhindered. "It's hardly my fault if being honest paints you in a bad light." His spindly arms crossed over his chest, leading Twilight's eyes to the uneven scar her resuscitation spell had left over his heart.

"Bad light?!" Twilight shouted, horn lighting unconsciously, "I saved your life you ungrateful—"

"SILENCE!" The booming command was delivered with such force that both human and alicorn flinched back. Twilight and Jason blinked owlishly at the clearly angry Celestia, silent as the grave. "Twilight, antagonizing Jason will not be tolerated. He deserves the same respect as any other living thing." She swung her head towards Jason. "The same goes for you. You will respect one-another. Am I understood?"

"...Yes ma'am."

"Whatever, let's get this over with."

Twilight bristled at the blatant disrespect, but refrained from speaking out. Celestia nodded, closing the door.

Why?

Why the flying fuck would Celestia do this to me? This is NOT helping! "Princess," I muttered, gripping the armrests of the chair until my knuckles went white. "With all due respect, this is entirely unnecessary. I would like to avoid a legal scene...provided you keep her and her friends as far from me as possible." I tried my hardest not to look her in the eyes, but I could feel her glaring at me.

"I'm afraid this isn't your choice, Jason," Celestia replied evenly, "the fact stands that Twilight is accused of criminal negligence that, as you said, caused extreme trauma and nearly resulted in death."

"Then I take it back, just get her out of here!" I nearly shouted, my heart pounding away in my chest. Just stop looking at me!

"Jason, please calm down," Celestia said. I assumed she was trying to keep me from causing a scene.

It wasn't working.

I shot to my feet, the chair tumbling back behind me. I honestly didn't give a damn. "Celestia, please..." I gulped, trying to calm my trembling. "I'm kinda freaking out here...Can we do this some other time?" Like never?

Twilight tilted her head and took a step forward, her confused expression growing when I gave a very manly shriek of terror and backed away until my back was to the wall. "YOU STAY BACK!"

She just kept coming. "Why are you so afraid of me?"

My mind screeched to a halt.

"...I..." I pushed off from the wall, staring down at the purple mare. Staring down...I towered over her by a good two feet. I glared, teeth clenching. "I honestly don't know. I definitely know why I'm pissed, though." For the first time in what felt like forever, I felt something clear, something there. And it burned at me. "First day in Ponyville, you slammed the door in my face." My voice rose despite my best attempts at control, and I found my body taking a step forward. To my sick satisfaction, the fledgeling alicorn matched my movement with a retreat of her own. "But that wasn't good enough, was it? You spread word of the 'monster'. I've been beaten, struck by lightning, turned away, and starved by the ponies you turned against me!"

"Jason, wait. This isn't how we're going to do this," Celestia demanded, stepping between Twilight and I. "I thought you were better than this..." I could almost feel the disappointment...

If we were in any other situation, I would have listened. "I did my waiting, Princess," I growled out, stopping my advance. "Three FUCKING years of it!" I leaned forward, face twisted into a mask of rage. "I'm going to get closure, with or without your help."

"Princess Celestia...?" I heard her voice from behind the fuzzy white obstacle, mockingly shaky and weak. Oh please, just drop the act...

"Jason, listen to yourself!" Celestia pleaded, widening and solidifying her stance in front of her pupil. "This isn't you. Remember how happy you were when I brought you into the castle?"

I wasn't having any of it. "Get out of the way, Celestia."

"You told me yourself that you loved Equestria!" The Princess' voice wavered slightly, raised almost to shouting. "You're no villain, Jason..." I know. Because YOU'RE the villains here. "You know hurting ponies won't make you feel better."

"LIKE HELL IT WON'T!" I shouted, grabbing the solar diarch and shoving her out of the way. She hardly moved, but it was enough for me to get past. "You have no idea how long I've wanted this!" I raised my right arm over my left shoulder, palm flat and fingers rigidly together, before starting a downward arc towards a cringing purple mug.

It never connected. A golden light filtered through my eyelids, and the unpleasant prickling of hot wool scratched over my mostly bare skin. "...Let me go, Celestia." I forced my voice to even out, coming out as a dead, robotic monotone.

"I can't do that. Not until you calm down." Celestia had switched her full attention to me, her horn glowing yellow like a funeral pyre. Her own voice had taken to a dangerously even tone, though the tension underneath was unmistakable.

I turned my head to look at her. It seemed even in her magic I retained at least that much mobility. "Then kill me."

Her grim expression didn't waver. "You know I won't. This is for your own good."

"Let me go or kill me, I will NOT be kept in a cage!" I was becoming erratic. If I had a mind to, I'd be concerned about that. "Just give me a knife, I'll do it myself."

The tension melted away from the Princess' eyes back into pity. "I promise Jason, this is for your own good." I stiffened for a moment, before thrashing wildly as she approached.

"You stay away!" My shrieks were panicked, completely out of control. I was completely helpless when Celestia pressed her horn to the crown of my head.

"Sleep."

Despite my best efforts, my limbs turned to lead. I barely had the energy to look Celestia in the eyes before darkness crept over me.

"I hate you..."

Chapter 21: The Punchline

The Punchline

My head was being split by a railroad spike when I woke up.

Not really, but it fucking hurt. I inwardly questioned what led to my current predicament, trying to remain as still as possible to avoid causing myself any more pain.

Let's see, I got a bath against my will, Celestia was being creepy, Twilight came out of nowhere and Celestia...

Ohh, that BITCH. Throwing the blanket off myself, I stood and...immediately collapsed. I squeezed my eyes shut right before my head hit the stone floor, my body barely responding to my commands. I groaned weakly, struggling to regain my motor control. Come on, I couldn't have been out for that long... I forced my legs under me, the limbs feeling heavy and clumsy. Pushing myself off the floor, I stood up on shaky legs and used the bed to brace myself. I swear, as soon as I see Celestia, my foot is going SO FAR up her ass!

I pushed off from the bed and stumbled to the center of the room. My arms flapped out like a stupid bird, but I managed to stay upright. And speaking of...I glanced down, to my unusually drafty body. Yep, she took her towel back...fuck. I needed to find something to wear.

Closet? Nothing my size.

Bathroom? I was tired of towels.

Bed? I grinned at the thick white sheets on the massive mattress. I've always wanted to wear a toga...

Twilight Sparkle wanted to be anywhere else right now. The seven pairs of eyes stared down at her, some with understanding, some with disappointment, and some with utter contempt. She forced herself to look away from Princess Luna, whose expression rested firmly in the third category. "And...that's it, until I stole the crown and snuck back through the mirror."

Fluttershy shuddered slightly, fidgeting in her seat. "I just...I could never hurt one of my critters!" The introverted pegasus curled in on herself, visibly sickened. "Much less trick somepony else into...eating them..."

Twilight turned to the yellow mare with a serious expression. "If it were that simple, I could forgive them. But they weren't eating animals. These are cows they were eating, like it was nothing!" Twilight gulped and shuddered. "Talking, thinking creatures. That's murder, even griffons aren't that barbaric."

"Did you ever see that world's cows?" Celestia asked, managing to keep her expression calm. "It was a completely different world, Twilight. Things may be different there."

Twilight shook her head. "Making that kind of assumption is too dangerous, Princess. If it's wrong, and with one of them here...There's not much difference between eating cows and pigs and eating ponies. The safest course of action is getting Jason as far from Equestria as possible."

Applejack stood, glaring at the fledgeling alicorn. "Maybe if ya'd given the feller a chance, we wouldn't have ta chase 'im down in the first place!"

"Applejack," Celestia began, her voice firm but calm, "there is no need to capture him. Jason is asleep in my quarters. He will not be waking for several more hours." The solar diarch turned to her student, an oasis of calm in the midst of the worked up mares. "I am not saying we should let him go without supervision. I have already done so, and..." at this Celestia's eyes cast downward, her expression making every year of her rule apparent on her face. "That was among the worst mistakes I've made, concerning my subjects."

"Then how do we FIX it?!" Applejack shouted, shaking slightly. "Standin' round here gabbin ain't gonna fix Jason, and Ah'm sure as sugar not gonna jes' wait for 'im to wake up n' run off again." The southern mare's ears plastered themselves against her head, her voice wavering at the end. Fluttershy, though clearly not comfortable in the tense atmosphere, moved in and laid a wing across her back for comfort. Applejack continued, pulling her hat down over her eyes, "Ah can't jes'...sit here n' watch him hangin' from a tree again." Though she hid her face, she couldn't keep the hiccups and trembling out of her voice. "Ah can't..."

Celestia placed a forehoof under the distraught mare's chin, lifting her head up. "You clearly have a stronger bond with Jason than anypony else. Myself included. So you tell me...what should we do?"

It was a tense, silent moment before she got a reply, the other mares either too upset or too uncomfortable to voice their opinions. Finally, Applejack wiped her eyes and replaced her hat, looking up at Celestia with a determination only she could achieve. "Ah wanna talk with 'im. Alone. Ah took care of 'im after he..." She gulped and pressed on, "tried ta hang 'imself. He knows me. And Ah'm sure he trusts me more n' anypony else. Ah have the best chance of talkin' some sense inta him."

Twilight was about to object, but was cut off by Celestia. "Very well. We'll leave him to you."

"Princess Celestia, we just got through talking about how he could be a pony-eating monster, and now you want to let one of my friends in a room with him alone?!" Twilight's wings flared, her face clearly frustrated, bordering on outright anger. "With all due respect, what the BUCK are you thinking?"

The princess turned to her student, all traces of her serene smile gone. "Dietary needs aside, Jason and I have talked at length, and he poses no threat to Equestria. You yourself had a chance to speak with him—"

"AND HE ATTACKED ME!" Twilight screamed, hooves digging into the floor. "He. Attacked. Me. What part of 'dangerous' is hard for any of you to get? Even back in Ponyville you were all 'oh the little human's just misunderstood, he's my friend, you're a disappointment,' but you SAW him attack me!" Twilight finished, gasping for breath.

Celestia looked at the purple alicorn with concern and slight wariness, lowering her voice to a quiet, soothing tone. "Twilight...I haven't visited Ponyville for quite some time."

Twilight's eye twitched.

Celestia slowly took a step forward, maintaining the same tone. "Are you...feeling well?"

"I'M NOT CRAZY!" Twilight shrieked, clenching her eyes shut. "I SAW you in Ponyville! We spoke! How could you not remember that?!"

"I assure you, I haven't been to Ponyville in months." Celestia's expression had morphed from concern to a mixture of fear and pity. "Twilight, have you been sleeping well?"

The mare gave a frustrated groan through clenched teeth and teleported away.

Rainbow Dash was the first to recover. "Uhh...Princess?" When she got Celestia's attention, she continued. "did you visit Ponyville?"

Celestia shook her head. "No. Twilight sent me a letter concerning Jason. When I saw he couldn't be found, I sent Discord in my stead." Seeing the confusion, she added, "Discord has a knack for finding things that don't want to be found. When he returned empty-handed, I feared the worst."

Oh, this was the worst. I'd been walking around this castle for what felt like forever, and I was no closer to finding my way out. It was nice to be clothed for the first time in weeks, but the faint chatter and clip-clop of hooves I heard echoing from God knows where kept me paranoid. I was dreading every turn, walking as quietly as I could, and my heart was pounding in my chest like a drum. Come on, this place CAN'T go on forever...

Then finally, a staircase! Going down, too. I was fairly certain I was pretty high up. I know I went up at least six flights of stairs, probably more. So the next floor down was at least progress. With a faint smile on my face and a toga covering my ass, I continued my stroll through the castle.

Another half-hour of wandering, sweet! Another staircase.

More walking, and awesome! A new flight of stairs. One of the walls was lined with windows, so I knew I was at the very least on the outermost edge of the castle. If I kept to the edges, I'd have to find a door eventually. The rhythmic slapping of bare feet on stone floors was the only companion I had now, the muffled speech long gone. I was starting to relax. Maybe everyone was gone? At least it was peaceful. Yep, absolutely nothing was gonna go wrong, smooth sailing from here on out.

My ninja-walk turned into a stroll, which turned into a silly walk as I rounded the next corner...and immediately ran gut-first into a white and blonde unicorn stallion. He screeched, I yelped, he shuffled his hooves, I punched his muzzle, he fell, and I ran past him like a chicken. Why does this happen to me?

Applejack's ears perked up. "Y'all hear that?"

Celestia turned towards the source of the noise, her worried expression still firmly on her face. "That sounded like my nephew..."

"And Jason!" Applejack insisted, bolting for the door. "C'mon, we can't let 'im get away again!"

Chapter 22: Leave Me Alone

Leave Me Alone

Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT!!! I ran as fast as my legs could carry me, away from the mares hot on my trail.

...You know...Three years ago, I would've killed to be able to say that. "LEAVE ME ALONE!" I called out behind me, somehow managing the scream despite my lungs burning and threatening to give out. "JUST LET ME GO!"

"Not a chance!" I heard shouted behind me, along with the rapid flapping of wings and pounding of hooves on stone. For the second time, I was running for my life. I hadn't eaten in days. I was running on almost no sleep. I could feel my limbs shake, and my mind wasn't what it should be. But I didn't dare entertain the thought that my body would give out before I could get away.

I refused. I absolutely would not let these ponies see me fall again. Come on, you're the most successful predator your species has ever seen! My breath heaved, ragged and raspy, as my body ran on autopilot. You dominated your own planet with no magic, no help, far before you ever invented guns and knives! These ponies are NOTHING compared to what you can do!

...Then why run? I was so tired of running. So tired of being afraid of Rainbow Dash. A wide grin stretched across my scruffy face. And why was I afraid of Rainbow Dash?

Because she shot lightning bolts at me. With clouds she doesn't have here. And I couldn't get her because she was too high up...and we were in close quarters.

I had the advantage here. Why should I run? I'm a predator, she is prey. I skidded to a halt and turned around, crouching down to brace myself just in time for Rainbow to crash into my chest. If I can get a hold of her, she's MINE. I was sent sprawling across the floor, but I was still able to lock my arms around her barrel. I kept my grin despite the pain in my chest, a raspy chuckle tearing from my too-dry throat.

"Gotcha..."

Applejack and the others lagged behind their cyan speedster, huffing and panting. "Rainbow...cosarn it, STICK WITH TH'GROUP!" They continued running for some time, barely managing to catch the prismatic trail Rainbow left in her wake turning around corners. "RAINBOW!" Applejack shouted, irritation seeping into her tone. A thick, meaty thud and pained grunt pressed her even harder, slowly pulling in front of the group until she tore around the next corner to see Rainbow atop Jason, the human's arms tightly locked around her body.

"Gotcha..." Applejack shuddered at the dark tone Jason's voice had taken, a gravelly, dead voice. She and the others stopped in their tracks as Jason rolled over and pinned Rainbow down, his body pushing hers into the stone floor and his hands wrapping around her throat.

No...No, no no NO!" Applejack panicked, looking between her friend and her charge, unsure what to do. If I try ta stop 'im Ah could hurt 'im, but if I don't...

Jason grunted and pressed down harder, and Applejack could've sworn she saw something catch the light rolling down his cheek. "I never wanted this!" He shouted, the pegasus pinned under him gasping for air that wasn't there. "Why didn't you just LEAVE ME ALONE! You stupid FUCKING PONY!!!" Rainbow's bloodshot eyes rolled towards Applejack, tears rolling down her furry cheeks and terror clear in her eyes.

The choice was taken from her. Applejack galloped forward, just as Jason's own eyes caught hers.

They looked the same. His eyes held the same fear. He knew he was going to die here, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Applejack screwed her eyes shut, turned on her forelegs, reared back—

KRAK! Jason's grip loosened, his body sprawling to the side like a marionette without strings. Applejack landed perfectly, the buck hitting solid and straight. She kept her eyes shut, breathing heavily even as Rainbow continued to choke and gasp. Celestia moved past her, examining the pegasus.

Without a word, she and the downed mare disappeared in a flash of light.

"A-Ah didn't wanna...Land sakes, Ah didn't wanna kill 'im..." Applejack rambled, "Y'all saw, right? H-he was hurtin' Rainbow, Ah h-had no choice!" She trembled, her legs giving out under her. Sitting on her haunches, she drew one foreleg to her chest to calm her racing heart. "Ah j-jest wanted ta stop 'im! Ah was supposed ta take care of 'im, get 'im healthy, keep 'im calm..."

A wing on her withers caused Applejack to gasp, looking up into the glistening eyes of her shy companion. "You didn't mean to..." Fluttershy half-whispered, leaning against the farm-pony. "He was...scared. And hurting, in a very dark place. He wanted it to end."

That wasn't what Applejack wanted to hear. "But Ah was supposed ta FIX that! It's all mah fault he was in this mess, Ah put 'im here! Ah tried ta help 'im, but he jest...Why didn't ya jes' stay at the farm ya STUPID MONKEY?!" She screamed, lashing out with a forehoof to strike into the downed human's torso.

Pinkie Pie was destroyed. The usually bubbly mare had managed to keep up with the group, even if she didn't contribute much. And when have I? She mused, her eyes downcast. All I ever did for Jayjay was hurt him. What kind of party-pony am I?

"Why didn't you just LEAVE ME ALONE! You stupid FUCKING PONY!!!" Pinkie winced at the shout, looking up.

Her heart stopped.

The human, the one she was beating herself up over, was choking the life out of her best friend. And he was crying. She wanted to scream, to pry him off of her, but she couldn't move. I did this... She couldn't move a muscle, even to look away.

You have quite the knack for causing misery...

She felt her mane going limp against her head, draping around her head like a curtain of pink. "Stop it..." It was barely a whisper, more a breathy whimper, and against the screaming it went unnoticed. Pinkie—no...Pinkie was the name of the mare that made everypony smile and laugh. Pinkie was the pony that knew and loved everypony around her. Pinkie Pie was not the pony who hurt others for no reason.

She didn't deserve that name.

Pinkamena whimpered and closed her eyes, hanging her head down. I'm sorry...I'm sorry, everypony...I never wanted this to happen!

"—Ya STUPID MONKEY!"

Pinkamena's eyes shot open, and she ground her teeth. "Haven't you done enough?!" She shot to her hooves, stomping over to Applejack. "Do you have ANY idea what this boy has been through? Because I sure as Tartarus don't!" She pressed her forehead to Applejack's, poking her chest with a hoof. "Nopony knows what he's gone through! What WE'VE put him through! All he wanted was to be left alone. To not have anypony bother him! Rainbow Dash hurt him! Twilight hurt him! YOU hurt him!"

Pinkamena sat back, losing the fire in her eyes. In a quieter, broken voice, she muttered, "I...hurt him." She looked up, glaring for all she was worth. "You've done enough. Just leave him alone."

Applejack stood still, absolutely stunned. There were no, absolutely no words she could use in response. Instead, she lowered her head and covered her face with her hat. The orange mare sniffled a bit, trying her hardest not to break down.

"...Girls?" Fluttershy's voice sounded in the silence, "Jason's alive...he tried to say something when Applejack hit him." The mare in question tried to shrink in on herself further at the mention of hitting the human, before the words truly stuck. When she processed it, however, she immediately sprang up.

"Y'all gotta help me get 'im to th'hospital!" She shouted, her hat laying forgotten on the floor. "C'mon!" She slid her head under one of the limp man's arms, trying to find a way to drag him. When nopony else moved, however, she frowned. "C'MON! We can't piddle 'round here anymore! Help me!"

Clearing her throat, Rarity tried to reason with the farm-pony. "Dear...are you sure this is a good idea? He did try to kill our friend."

Applejack turned on her, glaring daggers at the fashionista. "Well do ya got a better idea?!"

My head hurt. My throat burned. My limbs felt heavy and numb.

So the usual.

I looked up, trying to open my eyes. Unfortunately, my left refused to cooperate. It felt swollen shut, and though I could feel the eyelid cracking open ever so slightly, I couldn't see even a hint of light. The last few hours seemed like a haze. I saw Twilight, panicked, then...nothing.

Okay...amnesia. My eye was swollen shut, and from the looks of things possibly blind. So severe head trauma. I tried moving my arms, but they were bound to my sides. So..rope.

Bound in rope, powerful buck to the head, overall feeling like shit. Well... I thought, looks like Applejack caught up with me. Speaking of...

I cracked open my good eye, scanning the area. From my spot on the floor, curled up on my side, I couldn't see much. But I did see a faint orange blob of fuzz a few feet away. I frowned. I must've been hit harder than I thought...

I closed my eye, trying to minimize the pain from my concussion-induced migraine. I chuckled, the right side of my mouth curling up in a bitter smile.

"Me...you...rope...why must it always end this way, Applejack?" My little speech was met with the scuffling of hooves on stone, and Applejack's familiar twang greeted me.

"Yer awake...Ah didn't think you were gonna wake up," She sounded tired. I would've felt sorry for her if she hadn't kicked me in the face hard enough to shatter my eye-socket and give me a concussion.

"Well, I did. We can't all get what we want. Why am I here?" I didn't get a respond for several seconds. I'd like to think she was taken aback by my disregard for my current state, but I'm pretty sure she should be used to it by now.

"Ya went crazy n' tried ta kill Rainbow Dash." Oh. Okay then.

I shifted my head to where I thought she was. "And did I?"

"Almost...Celestia said ya crushed her windpipe. Had ta stick a tube down her throat so she could breathe."

I got a strange sense of satisfaction from that. Part of me thought that should've been a red flag. Part of me didn't give a fuck. "Hmm."

"...Well?"

I tilted my head in what I thought was an inquisitive gesture. "Well what?"

"Don't ya feel the least bit bad? Ya put her in the hospital for land's sake!" I could hear a great deal of tension in her voice. She must've been pretty upset.

"Not really. She got what she deserved." She had a history of attacking me. And she wasn't going to stop attacking me until I stopped her myself. Just too bad it wasn't permanent. Knowing her, she'd be even worse now. "Should've choked her harder."

"Ah will kick ya again if ya hurt mah friends." She didn't sound angry, which almost disappointed me. She sounded...sad. Resigned.

I scoffed. "Well kick me harder next time, I'm sick of waking up next to you."

"...Why'd ya leave the farm?"

I grunted a response, shrugging as best I could. "I woke up naked in a tub of ice water with a huge burn on my chest. You ponies are fucking crazy. I was better off in the woods."

"Ah woulda taken care of ya...kept ya fed, put a roof over yer head...wasn't that worth anything?"

"Applejack, I don't think you understand what 'I want to die' means. I hanged myself to get away from all you ponies. I'm sick of you. You've treated me like garbage for no reason, starved me, kicked me out of town, and you personally have given me enough broken ribs to start a collection. Frankly, as far as I'm concerned you and your friends are the worst creatures I've ever seen." I tried to turn away, but only managed to shift myself into a slightly less comfortable position.

"...Ah know we hurt ya. But we ain't all bad. Ah've been tryin' ta make it up to ya, but Ah can't if ya won't let me!"

I sighed. "...Fine. You want to make it up to me? Just do one thing."

I could hear the excitement in her voice. "Anythin!"

A grim smirk crawled onto my face. "Stomp on my head. Finish the job."

"What? No!"

"You said anything." I grinned. "So do it. Finish me off. End it all. I have failed, so just do it! Just let me die!" I shouted, my voice carrying through the room.

It was a tense moment of silence before I felt something fuzzy and warm squirm into the space under my chin, pressed against my chest and stomach, "Ah'm not ready for ya to go yet."

I sighed, incapable of moving the pony laying against me. "You ponies never do what I want..."

Chapter 23: Well Fuck.

Well Fuck.

"Applejack, when Jason wakes up, I need you to keep him awake as long as you can." Celestia ordered, all pretenses of serenity and peace giving way to a leader giving orders. "A blow like that is sure to leave a concussion. If he falls asleep within twenty-four hours, chances are he won't wake up."

And so, Applejack had been idly talking about nothing for the last three hours, nudging and shifting against the grumpy bound human incessantly. He'd been getting increasingly frustrated with her annoyances, she could tell, but she just plowed on. "An' that's how Ponyville was made!"

The human looked at her with as flat an expression as his mangled face could muster, his good eye twitching slightly. After a moment, he clenched his fist, his thumb extending outward. "Cool story pony."

Applejack didn't need to be the element of honesty to sense the insincerity of his compliment, but she forced a grin anyway. "Eyup! An' that ain't the half of it, I ever tell ya that mah great granpappy tried flirtin' with Princess Celestia?" She gave a clearly forced laugh, trailing off when Jason's head tilted back in a massive yawn.

Gah! Land sakes, there's gotta be somethin...somethin, somethin...c'mon AJ, think!

Why wouldn't this pony let me sleep? Ever since I woke up I'd been absolutely exhausted, drifting half out of consciousness whenever Applejack took a break from talking. After another bout of random prattling, I gave perhaps the most impressive yawn of my life. Stone floors are a lot more comfortable than I gave them credit for... I closed my eye, content to sleep through the mare's incessant jabbering. Just as I got comfortable and started to drift off, I felt Applejack move against me. Annoying, but I was far too tired to care. I focused on falling asleep, and sure enough OW THAT WAS MY FUCKING EAR! I yelped and jerked my head up, hitting Applejack's muzzle and sending her to her rump. "The fuck?! You bit me!"

"Du headbudded muh node!"

"You bit my ear!"

"DU HEADBUDDED MUH NODE!"

"YOU BIT MY FUCKING EAR! What the Hell is wrong with you, haven't you done enough?!" I spat, glaring up at her with my one eye. Immediately, she deflated and lowered her head. "...Dorry."

I rolled my eyes—incredibly painful, had to remember not to do that—and sighed. "Just...just stop talking, alright? I'm sorry I hurt you." Oddly enough, I meant it. I actually felt like a piece of shit for a minute there. Then again, she IS the only pony who ever showed me any kindness...however unwanted it was. I grimaced. I wanted to hate her so bad. She hurt me just like Rainbow did. I wanted to want to choke her out.

"You have no idea how much I want to hate you..." I grumbled. "You hurt me just like Rainbow did. AND you stopped me from ending it all. You stuck me in a barn on a bale of hay. Do you know how demeaning that was?" I looked up at her. "You were my favorite, you know. Back in my world...back in my world, we had a television show about you girls." I sniffed, closing my eye. "Followed you from when you found the Elements to defeating Tirek...God I loved that show. The characters were amazing. You girls were amazing. But you were always my favorite." I coughed, my throat tightening. "Y-you were the reason I came here. Just you. I spec...I specifically requested Ponyville so I could meet you." I took a shuddering breath, "Celestia originally wanted me to stay in Canterlot so she could get the ponies used to me. I didn't listen." I chuckled lightly. "I wanted to meet you right away. I came running off that train like a bat outta Hell..." I sighed, curling in on myself slightly. "I could not have been any dumber than I was that day."

I closed my eye tight as I could. I was not going to cry in front of Applejack. I'd already lost it, I wasn't going to make myself look any more pathetic than I already was. And then the first tear dropped.

Mother fucker...

I took a deep breath, shaky and halting as it was, and tried to keep my composure as best I could. Despite my best efforts however, I couldn't hold back the breathy whimper that escaped my throat. "I just wanna go back to seeing you like I used to!" I said, louder than I expected, and far whinier. "I don't want to think about what happened, I just want things to go back to normal..." I tried to continue, but my next words came out as an unintelligible sob. "I just want to go home...I want to be able to look at you, and-and-and not fear for my life!" I knew I sounded like a child, but there was nothing I could do about it now. "I want my Applejack back...the one I came her for!"

I lost myself to massive, blubbering sobs. I pushed my face into the floor, trying to hide as much of it as I could.

Applejack was stunned. Absolutely flabbergasted. Struck dumb. The hulking, towering creature she'd tried (and failed apparently) to nurse back to health, that had snapped and almost strangled her best friend, was curled into a ball, crying his eyes out. His words, somewhat slurred by his condition, were nonetheless clearly understood.

Apparently, he came here willingly three years ago. And he knew her and her friends.

And she was his favorite. Applejack would've hid behind her hat if she hadn't left it out in the hall—she had to go get it later—it was possibly the most foolish, stupid, embarassing, flattering things anyone had ever said to her. She sighed, pressing a hoof to her forehead. What the hay kinda idiot did Ah get stuck with? The farm-pony stretched out beside Jason, half against him and half on top, forelegs resting over his torso.

"Ya really are jes' the biggest idjit Ah've seen..." She mumbled, eyelids drooping slightly. "Ah am yer Applejack."

No response.

Applejack lightly prodded Jason, to the same result. "Jason?" She stood, pushing him onto his back. His good eye was closed, his face slack. He didn't move a muscle, beyond slow, shallow breaths.

A lump of ice formed in Applejack's chest. "Jason!!

Author's Note

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Chapter 24: Token Dream Sequence

Token Dream Sequence

I was bored...bored...incredibly bored. I was sleeping, I knew that much. And that was the problem. I KNEW I was sleeping. But I wasn't dreaming. Or at least, not my usual dreams. It felt like I was floating through a black abyss, no body, no noise, no light...I didn't feel overly lonely per se, nor did I feel the crushing depression so often associated with things like this, but it felt like I'd been here for hours and I was going CRAZY!

"SOMETHING HAD BETTER HAPPEN SOON!" I shouted—or tried to. I couldn't hear my words. Or feel them leave my mouth. Or feel my mouth. Did I have a mouth? I wasn't sure. For a pitch-black abyss of solitude, it was annoying me something fierce.

...The fuck did I just say? I'd noticed myself slipping into a southern accent recently, mostly when I was upset (which was most of the time, to be fair) but I hadn't spoken like that in years. Not since I was a little kid, at least. An image of my grandma, a stooped, withered old woman in a Tennessee mountain home flashed into my mind, and I'm sure I would've smiled if I had a face.

I missed my grandma. The old bat was notorious for stuffing me full of sugar and caffeine right before sending me with my parents for the day-long drive back to Newark. I knew she did it to get revenge on how crazy my dad was as a kid, bless his heart.

I tried not to think about my parents too much. I was thirty-fi—No...wait. I was thirty-five when I got here. It had been around three years since I came to Equestria, so I was at least thirty-eight. I chuckled slightly, wishing I could close my nonexistent eyes. "I'm turning into an old man..."

"Do not speak to me about age, Jason Wright."

...The fuck was that? It was another moment before the boring blackness gave way to...my old home, just as I remembered it. I was sitting on my couch, whole and unmarred by my time in Equestria. I took a moment to savor the feeling of not having any pain, relaxing into my spot. I looked around, and any semblance of a smile dropped.

It looked EXACTLY as I remembered it. Beer-bottles, half-eaten plates of food, filthy floor...Sweet Christ, how did I live like this? Wait. Voice. Okay. I cleared my throat. "I assume you're Luna?"

The alicorn materialized in front of me, looking around with a lip slightly curled in distaste. "Indeed. Most would make their homes presentable, were they to entertain royalty as guests."

I rolled my eyes. "This is just a dream, Luna. There's not much point in cleaning if the room doesn't even exist."

Luna shook her head and sighed. "You use the phrase "there's no point" quite often. That is far from a healthy state of mind."

"I must've missed the part where that's your business," I snapped. "What're you doing in my dream anyway?"

"This may come as a shock, but please remain calm." Luna began, "when Applejack struck you, you received a major concussion. She was tasked with keeping you awake to avoid your slipping into an eternal rest, but failed." The Lunar Princess almost seemed sad at that. I raised an eyebrow and crossed my arms.

"So...you think I'm in a coma. And you took that as meaning you could go rooting through my mind without my consent." I could see she was about to protest, so I cut her off just out of spite. "And you know that's just a myth, right? Keeping someone awake after a concussion does more harm than good."

Luna paused, blinking at me owlishly. "It has been common knowledge in Equestria for over a thousand years! I'm afraid I have to disagree."

"I'm not in a coma, Luna. And you know I'm not. If I was brain-dead, I wouldn't be dreaming. Why are you really here?" I tapped my foot on the floor impatiently, giving Luna my best Dwayne Johnson Raised Eyebrow™.

The Night Princess scuffed a hoof on the floor absently, looking anywhere but at me. After a moment, she managed to mutter, "I was tasked with going through your memories to find out what happened these last years." She spoke quickly enough it was difficult to understand, but I got the gist of it.

"Get out."

She winced as if struck, but stood her ground. "I cannot. I have a duty to perform, and I will not leave without carrying it out."

I sighed and rubbed the bridge of my nose. There was no point in arguing, these ponies would just ignore me and continue anyway. "Fine," I barked, "If you want to see my memories go ahead. But do NOT go farther back than three years."

It had been roughly thirteen hours since Princess Luna had sat down to peer into Jason's dreams, and her horn was still glowing slightly, resting against the comatose man's forehead. Suddenly, out of nowhere, her horn flashed a blinding white for just a split-second, and her eyes shot open. She shook, eyes wide and unfocused, stiff as a board.

Applejack watched on, barely conscious herself. She hadn't slept since arriving in Canterlot the day before, and it was catching up with her. When Luna sprung into motion, however, all thoughts of sleep were abandoned. She jumped up and trotted to Luna's side. "Princess! Is he gonna be alright?"

The lunar princess turned to stare at Applejack, screeching and falling back. She pushed against the floor as best she could in the unnatural pose, managing to push herself against the far wall. "Stay back!"

Applejack, for her part, was utterly confused. Th' hay's gotten inta her?

Luna, still pressed against the wall, closed her eyes and tried to get herself under control. Her breathing slowed within five minutes, the shaking in her hooves in ten. Finally, the alicorn stood and tried to gather as much of her dignity as was left, standing tall and looking down at the farm-pony. "...It is done. There is no more to be done here, Jason Wright will awaken in his own time." Turning on her hooves, Luna walked away as quickly as she could without appearing to be running away.

Applejack stared at the spot Luna used to be, blinking. "...Why're all the real magical ponies crazy?"

"Not sure, you tell me."

"BWAAH!"

Princess Luna galloped through the castle, all thoughts of maintaining an image gone. Bursting through the throne-room doors, she approached her sister.

Celestia caught the haunted expression and smell of fear from her sister, her eyes immediately filling with concern. "Sister, calm yourself. Is Jason alright?"

"I-I don't know...All logic says he should've been dead years ago." Luna rambled, "there's no creature alive that could take what he has. And that he still has any semblance of sanity...Celestia, what have you loosed on Equestria?!" Celestia hadn't seen her sister this terrified since their foalhood. "This human is twice as resilient as any creature in the Everfree, even a dragon couldn't survive as he has!"

Standing from her throne, Celestia extended a wing over Luna's body and brought her close. "Sister...calm down. What did he show you?"

Luna closed her eyes, shivering. "...Everything. I saw everything. It was so much worse than we predicted, Celestia. I fear there is no more we can do for him."

"There is always hope, Luna, you know that." Celestia's expression turned stern. "Anypony can be saved."

"That is not a pony..."

I slipped out of the room, leaving Applejack hogtied in the rope I'd been bound with. Redressing my toga on my body, I took off towards the center of the castle.

Twenty minutes later...

Finally, a cafeteria. I ignored the thick crowd of ponies at the tables, moving directly for the kitchen. Pushing past various unimportant background ponies, I found myself staring down at a mustachio'd griffon. "Yes, what can I get for you, monsieu-...mo-mo..." He stumbled over his words, already terrified.

"Everything..." I purred, "I am so...HUNGRY..."

Chapter 25: Stayin' Alive

Stayin' Alive

I tore into the eggs and hash-browns like a wild animal, tearing chunks from the slice of ham on my plate with my teeth. OHH sweet baby Jesus, MEAT... I didn't even care that I now had half the cafeteria to myself. I finished the plate off in record-time, finishing off by chugging a steaming hot mug of black coffee. "GUSTAVE!" I shouted, raising the empty mug. "You are the man!"

The portly griffon cleared his throat, trying to remain professional. "T'is a pleasure. Would you like another helping?"

I wanted to. Oh God I wanted to. But... "Nah, read somewhere that if a starving man eats too much, he'll go into shock. Thanks for letting me have some of your personal stash, though." I grinned, my one good eye shining with a sharp glint I hadn't had in three years, "it was delicious."

The griffon took a 'subtle' step away and nodded. Standing, I made my way out of the cafeteria to wander the castle.

The halls were certainly busier today, maids and various suited ponies shuffling about. Most made a point to ignore me, but some stared, as to be expected. Whenever I caught one, I gave a massive, toothy grin, staring directly into their eyes.

For some reason, they never wanted to stick around to chat. Oh well. I felt better than I had in years! Hot food in my belly, more sleep than I absolutely needed, and I'd finally managed to work out some aggression. A thin smile wormed it's way onto my face, refusing to leave.

It felt nice to smile again.

"Well you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man! No time to talk!" I sang, practically bouncing in my steps. "Music loud and women warm, I've been kicked around since I was born." Darting through the crowd, I continued to pick up my pace. "And now it's alright, it's okay! And you may look the other way!" My voice began to raise as I put more enthusiasm in, "And we can try to understand The New York Times' effect on man! Whether you're a brother, or whether you're a mother, you're stayin' alive! Stayin' alive!"

I jogged through the halls, until I came across a familiar set of large doors. Hello Canterlot... Storming through, I leapt down the stairs and continued strutting through the streets. "Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin, and we're stayin' alive! Stayin' alive! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Stayin' alive! Stayin' alive!" Walking through the streets, I started down towards the train station. "Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Stayin' aliiiiiiiiiiiiive!!!"

Lucky for me, there was a train just about to leave. I ignored the stares of the ponies as I jogged towards the station. "ALL ABOARD!" I heard a pony shout, so I sped up until I ducked down behind the station. Making sure I wasn't spotted, I wiped my brow. Whew...I was SO glad the ponies were so oblivious. When I was sure none of them were looking, I snuck onto the caboose and waited.

I didn't have to wait for long. The train jolted, almost knocking me off balance before I felt myself start to move. I grinned, watching Canterlot slowly pull away from me. And good riddance, you crazy poofs... I leaned against the rail on the outside of the car, holding my arms out. "Well now I get low and I get high, and if I can't get either, I really try! Got the wings of heaven on my shoes, I'm a dancing man and just can't lose! You know it's alright, it's okay, I'll live to see another day! And we can try to understand The New York Times' effect on man!"

I've got a good feeling about this...

Princess Luna had finished recounting her tale to her sister, in gruesome detail. The solar diarch looked even more disturbed than Luna, staring out past the far wall. "All that...How?" Celestia turned to her sister, an uncharacteristic pleading expression on her face. "Sister...if this is your idea of a joke, it is far from funny."

"As much as I wish it was, I saw it with my own eyes." Luna looked down, closing her eyes tightly. "Those images will stick with me for life. How any one creature could survive that...She looked up at Celestia, a deadly serious frown marring her features. "We must get in his good graces. If he ever turned against us, I dread to think what would happen."

Celestia's eyes hardened. "We can't even think of such a thing. Jason may be damaged, but he would never purposefully harm a pony. He is not a villain."

Luna turned to look at one of the many stained-glass windows lining the throne-room, and in an almost inaudible voice, she whispered "neither was I..."

I hopped off the train, strutting through the familiar streets of Ponyville. With no Applejack to cave my face in and no Rainbow Dash to hit me with lightning, I felt far more at ease walking the town. "HONEY, I'M HOME!" I gave a toothy grin, despite the ponies giving me a wide berth. Nonetheless, I nodded to the ones I recognized. "Mornin' Lyra!" I waved, keeping my smile up through the strange look the mare gave me. I was full, I was rested, and...for some reason, in a ridiculously good mood. It seemed odd for me to be this upbeat, but whenever I tried to think too much about it, something would distract me. Ah well, probably not important.

"You WHAT?!" It wasn't often Celestia shouted, but when she did, it was advisable to run. Luna, unfortunately, didn't have that option. "Sister...I love you. I really, really do. But why would you think sealing away his negative emotions is in any way a good idea?"

"Would it not give him an opportunity to see Equestria without his anger clouding his mind?" Luna defended, feathers ruffled slightly. "Letting him experience joy would give him a proper incentive to recover, correct?"

Celestia pressed a hoof to her face, sighing in irritation. "Sealing away any of his emotions would cause an imbalance. But an entire half of them would drive him insane." Celestia glared at her sister, her voice taking on a stern edge. "He is still in his room, yes? Go to him and remove the spell before he wakes."

Luna glowered at the floor, exhaling heavily before turning to silently walk out of the room. Sulking down the hall, she retraced her steps to the room the human was kept in...and hearing some kind of shuffling, grunting, and violent muttering.

She threw the door open with her magic, and in a booming voice, "Step AWAY from Applejack immediately!"

...Only there was nopony except for Applejack in the room. Hogtied in the corner, trying in futility to squirm out of the bonds. Luna blinked several times, trying to process the scene, before managing coherent speech. "...Where is Jason?"

"Th' dang varmint jumped me right after ya left! Tied me up n' tossed me here like a sack of apples." Applejack grunted, trying to gnaw through the thick rope.

Luna gulped. This cannot end well...

Chapter 26: Small Town Hospitality

Small Town Hospitality

I've never felt better. Strolling through Ponyville was a nice change, it was far easier to appreciate the unique architecture like this than scurrying around in the dark like a rat. The best part? I didn't have to eat out of the trash anymore! With Applejack a bit more welcoming, I could pluck a few apples (hopefully) without having my ribs broken. Not sure how Big Mac would treat me, though judging by how he acted last time we spoke he's absolutely terrified of me.

Heh...the big tough stallion, afraid of a bald monkey.

Anyways...where was I? I'd wandered around Ponyville for quite a while, just lost in thought...where was I, exactly? I never really had time to make a map of the place.

Ah well. Time to explore! If I remember correctly, Golden Oaks Library is towards the center of town. Sooo I just gotta find out where the center of town is! I've always wanted to talk to Spike, he seemed like a pretty chill dude. I looked around, trying to find anypony to give me directions.

Carrot Top? No, she throws things at me.

Colgate? Hey, maybe I could get my teeth cleaned! She was a dentist, right? "Hey! Are you a dentist?" I shouted to the mare across the street. One look at me, and the unicorn squeaked, took off inside, and locked her door.

Guess not. Ah well, moving on! I could always just wander around until I find something familiar. And that is exactly what I did. Most of the houses looked the same, but as I walked I began to notice fewer and fewer ponies out and about. I didn't think much of it, but I couldn't ask for directions anymore. Okay, looking for familiar landmarks... Thatched roof house, thatched roof house, dirt road, more thatched roof houses...why are all the shutters closed?

A frantic pounding on the library door drew Spike away from his dusting. Sliding down the ladder and opening the door, he was almost thrown to the ground by the one-pony stampede rushing past. "Hey, watch it!" The drake shouted, just barely regaining his balance before falling on his rump. Closing the door, he rolled his eyes. "What's the rush?"

The mare stood in the center of the library, not acknowledging Spike's existence. "Princess Twilight! Princess Twilight, there's a monster in Ponyville!" Spike recognized her, and immediately sighed in annoyance. Roseluck, one of the three flower-sisters, was the worst drama-queen he had ever seen. The center of Ponyville's gossip ring and the first to panic at...well, anything, she had sent the entire town into an uproar more times than he cared to admit. What is it, another herd of bunnies? 'Oh, the horror!'

"She's not here, she's up in Canterlot," Spike huffed, arms crossed. As if seeing him for the first time, Rose jumped and turned to the little dragon. "You're welcome to wait, though."

"I, umm, I...no thanks!" She tore off out into Ponyville again, leaving the door wide open. Spike shook his head and shut it, sighing dejectedly.

Four years, and there are STILL ponies that freak out... He was drawn out of his sulking when the door slammed open again. Growling and turning, he bared his fangs in frustration. "Make up your mind, will you?!" His expression dropped as soon as he saw who had entered, however. "Twilight!" He ran towards the upset-looking alicorn, his anger traded for concern. "...Wow, you don't look so good. What happened?"

"I don't wanna talk about it..." She groused, heading directly for the stairs. "Did you clean up like I asked?"

Spike nodded, standing a little taller. "Every last thing! Oh, and Roseluck came by a minute ago, talking about some monster in Ponyville." His expression soured, and he muttered, "Couldn't even stop to say 'hi', apparently..."

Twilight perked up, raising an eyebrow. "Did she say what it looked like?"

"Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin' alive! Stayin' alive!"

"...Spike, lock up the library."

"Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin' alive! Stayin' alive! Ah,ah, ah, ah, sta-...THERE you are!" I exclaimed, throwing my arms up. I grinned, walking up to the Golden Oaks Library, knocking on the door. "Hey, Twilight! You in there? Can we talk for a minute?" My request was met with hushed speech and scuffling, so I knew there was at least two people in there. "Look, I know things didn't go well last time, but I'm sorry for trying to hit you. Can I come in?"

This time I distinctly heard a voice whisper "shh! If he thinks we're not home, he'll leave!"

I grinned. "No I won't! Not until I talk to you." I tried the doorknob, and to my surprise, it opened. I shrugged and stepped inside, looking around. "Huh, never actually been inside. Looks a lot more impressive than the show." I sniffed, closing my good eye. "Ohohohoh, and I love the smell of a fireplace..."

Twilight turned to glare at the poorly hidden dragon. "I said lock up the library..."

"The door doesn't have a lock!" He shouted, drawing my eye. I smiled and waved, a wide grin splitting my face in half. Twilight moved between us, glaring at me. I snorted at the scrunched up muzzle, putting a fist to my mouth to stifle the giggles. Oh God she looks hilarious!!!

"Is something funny?" She growled, pawing at the floor with one hoof.

I. Fucking. Lost it. "Baahahahahaaaa!!!" I cackled, falling flat on my ass. "Ohgod, ohgod YOUR FACE!!!" I wiped a tear from my good eye, exhaling heavily. "You ponies are so adorable when you try to be intimidating." I tried to stand, but was overcome by a sense of weightlessness. I flailed as I was plucked off the ground, the world colored in a purplish-magenta hue. "W-who-oa!" I spun, quickly getting dizzy. "This is awesome!" And then I was back on the floor. Or rather, on my face. Which was on the floor. "Oww..."

I heard a pained groan from the mare, pushing myself to my knees to see her putting a hoof to her head. "How much do you weigh?" She moaned, shaking her head and glaring at me.

I shrugged. "Probably ninety, a hundred pounds. I should be twice that at my height, but I've been malnourished and starved almost to death for a few years."

She shook her head, the harsh expression never leaving her face. "I just used enough magic to raise a boulder the size of this library, and I still dropped you. That's impossible!"

I stood, dusting off my toga. "Well, maybe you just wanted to see me fall on my face?"

"I'd drop you from higher."

I raised an eyebrow at her. "What's your beef with me, anyway? You were like this from day one, did I shit in your cereal or something?"

"Eugh..." I ignored Spike's outburst, staring curiously at Twilight. The mare shuddered for a moment, before responding.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. In a few minutes, you won't be my problem anymore. Spike, take a letter!" I moved to the desk, pointedly resting my hand on the pile of paper.

"Yeah, you kinda do have to explain this to me." I grinned, tilting my head. "Why is the princess of friendship so reluctant to make a friend?"

"Get out of the way." She ordered, lowering her head and pointing her horn at me.

I chuckled, crossing my arms. "Oh, what? Are you gonna throw a book at me?" I pushed off the desk and walked up to her, crouching down to eye-level. "Listen Sparklebutt, I'm not sure why I'm in such a good mood, but I don't wanna waste it. If we can both stay calm and talk this out, I'm sure we can reach some sort of understanding."

Before she could respond, I heard a deep inhale and my world exploded into a bright, sparking green.

Chapter 27: Ignorance Is Bliss

Ignorance Is Bliss

"Ah don't get it...How is makin' Jason feel better a bad thing?" Applejack asked, staring up at Celestia with a raised eyebrow. "If spendin' three years out in th'Everfree ain't drove him mad, Ah don't think a little spell's gonna do 'im in."

"We can't take that chance. If what Luna says is true, even the possibility of Jason becoming violent is unacceptable." Celestia responded, eyebrows furrowed. "I understand you are invested in his recovery, but if Luna's predictions of his abilities are correct, he cannot be allowed to roam free with his mind compromised."

Applejack glared, stepping forward until she was nose-to-chest with the alicorn. "Now you jes' wait one apple-buckin' minute! Jason's made it crystal clear he don't wanna cause no trouble! Rainbow attacked HIM first, he ain't gonna go off tryin' ta destroy Equestria without a darn good reason!"

Celestia's eyes hardened. "We've given him a reason. What my little ponies, what YOU have done to him has given him a better reason to destroy us all than anypony Equestria has faced so far." She gulped, dropping the stare-down to look down at the floor. "To be honest...part of me believes he deserves revenge. But I can not let him endanger my subjects." She looked back up, a grim resignation on her mug. "No matter the personal cost."

Applejack reeled back as if struck at the accusation, before narrowing her eyes. "Well, ya have ta find 'im first. He jes' got up and walked out the castle right under yer nose! AND stopped fer lunch on th' way! He's made it perfectly clear ya can't keep 'im if he don't wanna be here. An' ya won't be gettin' any help from me!" Applejack turned to storm away, tail swatting Celestia's face, before a white flash in the air caught her eye.

FSSSSHHHH-POP! "WHOOAAA!!!

I take back everything I said about stone being comfortable. It can go die in a fire. I groaned and rolled onto my side, putting my hands over my face. Why is it always the face?

"I don't believe that will be a problem." Great, Celestia, just who I want to see.

I stood and dusted myself off before clearing my throat. "A-hrmmhrmmm...Excuse me Princess, but I would like to voice a complaint. Your student Twilight Sparkle has the most atrocious manners I've ever seen!" I crossed my arms, a mock-angry expression on my face. "She didn't even offer me a drink! What kind of host does that?!"

"Jason Wright!" Oh great, Applejack. I hope she's not sore over the whole tying-her-up thing. "Jes' what in tarnation are ya jabberin' about?!" I turned to Best Pony, a grin pasted onto my face. "An' jes' how didja end up here in the first place?!"

"Well, when a mommy and daddy love eachother very much—YEOWCH! Not the shin!" Jeez, tough crowd... "I went to Ponyville, visited the library, talked to Twilight, and next thing I know I'm here. Happy?"

"...Exactly how did you get to Ponyville?" Celestia asked, sounding almost like she dreaded the answer.

I shrugged. "I took the train."

Two disbelieving stares later, Applejack added, "...the train?"

I nodded. "The train."

I was met with a silence unlike any before it.

"...An' don't think Ah've forgiven ya for tyin' me up with mah own rope!" Applejack finally shouted, pressing her forehead to mine. "D'you have any idea how embarassin' it was to be found like that by Princess Buckin' Luna?"

I grinned, not moving from the awkwardly close confrontation. "Hey, at least I didn't gag you."

She pulled back, raising an eyebrow. "...Gag? What in Sam Hill are ya talkin' about?"

Princess Celestia cleared her throat, coughing into a hoof. "Some creatures, like Diamond Dogs and I'm assuming Jason, have something called a 'gag reflex' that forces them to regurgitate the contents of their stomachs if something dangerous enters the throat."

Now it was my turn to raise an eyebrow. "So ponies don't have gag-reflexes?"

Celestia shook her head. "I'm afraid not."

"...Sweet." THUD! "Ow! What was that for?!" I turned around to glare at Applejack, rubbing my arm where she'd hit me.

"Ah've lived with a stallion all mah life, I know that tone a' voice, mister."

"Killjoy..."

"What was that?"

"I said 'apples are good'." THUD! "WOULD YOU STOP HITTING ME?!"

"Then stop lyin'."

Celestia sighed, putting a hoof to her head. I hear the moon is quiet this time of year...

Spike fell to his knees, coughing and hacking. The smoke rolling from his throat puffed with every forceful heave, until he finally managed to catch his breath. The hoof-pats to his back were a huge help, and he gave his sister-figure a weary smile over his shoulder. "Thanks, Twilight..."

"Spike, what were you thinking?" She worried, "you know transporting anything larger than a scroll hurts your stomach, why would you try sending a living thing twice the size of a pony?!"

He shrugged, breathing hard. "Looked like he was scaring you..."

Twilight pulled the little drake into a hug, an endearing little 'awwww' making it's way unbidden from her throat.

"...Why'd he come here, anyway?" Spike asked, "he didn't look like he came to start a fight. Do you think he really just wanted to talk?"

Twilight shook her head. "I couldn't take that chance...We've seen humans before, Spike, we know what they're capable of."

Spike pushed himself away so he could look up at the alicorn. "Are you still upset about that? So they eat meat, so what?" He pointed to himself, "gems won't always work, Twilight. I'll have to eat meat too someday. Does that make me bad?"

Twilight patted the drake on the head, smiling sadly. "That's different, Spike...I trust you. I know you wouldn't hurt anypony."

"No, but I could!" Spike protested, "I'm a dragon! I'll grow Celestia knows how big, I could hurt lots of ponies! But that doesn't mean I will!" The dragon looked down at the floor, his scaly brow-ridges furrowed and eyes downcast. "Did he ever hurt anypony?"

"Spike, I—" She began, but was cut off.

"Did that stallion ever hurt anypony, Twilight? If he has, then you're right. We can't trust him. But if he hasn't, then how is it any different from me?"

"But he's not you! It's completely diff—"

"Has he hurt anpony?!" He shouted, eyes screwed shut.

Twilight sat and wracked her brain, trying to think of anything, any time Jason had proven himself a threat. In all three years he'd been in Equestria, right outside Ponyville, she reached a terrifying conclusion.

"...No..."

She kept her gaze locked at the ground, even as she heard little paws stomping against the wooden floor, and the door opening and closing in silence.

He never showed even the slightest bit of aggression... Twilight's forelegs gave out right then, sending her fully to the ground. Gathering herself into a ball, she covered her eyes with her hooves.

Chapter 28: On a Bed of White Down

On a Bed of White Down

Arrangements had been made for the remaining mane six to be returned to Ponyville. Celestia had just returned me to her quarters, put new sheets on the bed (I refused to give up my toga. Togas are cool.) and collapsed on top of the blanket with a sigh. It was a little funny, actually, watching something usually so graceful flop over like a rubber chicken. But I felt laughing would be inappropriate.

"Am I a bad ruler?" She asked out of the blue, eyes closed. She had a strange look on her face, making her look, and I'll end you if you repeat this, making her look really old.

I cleared my throat, trying to put together a response. "...Do you want the long answer or the short answer?"

"Long. I need to hear everything you have to say."

I sighed, scratching at my longish hair. "Well...you've held Equestria together for well over a thousand years, that says a lot about your skill. But I think your judgement can slip when it concerns the Elements of Harmony." I sat at the bed, absently wondering why I was openly criticizing an immortal sun goddess' ruling methods. I quickly banished the thoughts. "When the dragon set up in the cave by Ponyville, you could've sent trained, armored guards to repel it. Or Hell, gone yourself. Even a dragon should listen to you. I understand the Element Bearers have certain responsibilities, but they're still barely young adults, and none of them have any kind of combat training. I know it all worked out in the end, but that dragon could've just as easily eaten them, and there'd be absolutely nothing you could do all the way in Canterlot. They'd be dead, and Equestria would lose it's greatest defense."

Celestia winced and laid her head back down, sighing dejectedly. "...Thank you for your honesty." It was several minutes before she spoke again. "Jason, I know you don't feel upset about it right now, but...I've done terribly wrong by you. I should've made you stay in Canterlot, I never thought Twilight would..." She buried her face in her forelegs, and I reached over to pat her side.

"Hey, it's okay...It's all in the past, alright?" I grinned, motioning to myself. "Besides, look at me! I'm still all here! ...Mostly." I chuckled, pointing my thumb at my blind, scarred eye. "But honestly, Celestia..." I sighed and flopped down myself, not particularly caring that I had just laid down next to an all-powerful alicorn mare with apparent emotional-issues. "It could've been worse. And I've felt absolutely fantastic all day!" I smiled, lightly flicking one of her ears. She pulled her head up and looked at me with perhaps the most broken look I'd ever seen. "Look..." I began, "I don't know what happened with you and the others, but you need to stop blaming yourself. It's all over now, okay? I'm back."

I did not expect to get drawn into a massive hug, but I returned it nonetheless. Alicorn fur is incredibly soft and warm, after all. A blanket of snow-white feathers covered me, and I felt her chin resting atop my head. "Promise me, Jason..." She began, holding me tight enough I couldn't get away if I wanted to. "Promise me you won't hate me."

I relaxed with a content sigh, closing my eyes. It felt...amazing to be held. The pressure should've been uncomfortable, even painful, but it just felt...right. Wanted. I felt like I belonged, right here, right in this moment. And in this moment, I whispered what I knew had to be the truth.

"I could never hate you..."

"...Thank you..."

I felt the familiar warmth from Celestia's magic, and I knew pain.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!" I screamed, feeling nails scratching at my brain. I gripped Celestia hard as I could, grinding my teeth and hissing. "A-ah....Sto-OOOOOP IIT!!!" I felt the first tears fall, not noticing that Celestia was shaking just as badly as I was. "PLEASE!!" I couldn't open my eyes, I couldn't think, I could do nothing.

I sat in my miserable cave, wrapping my arms around my stick-thin body to stave off the cold. The clothes I had arrived in were rags, holey and filthy, completely useless for retaining heat. I rocked back and forth, any movement welcome to get blood flowing to my extremities. I looked up at the grey, overcast sky, and say the first snowflakes of Winter fall. I closed my eyes, knowing the night would be even colder. I'd have to try to burn my bedding if I was gonna make it to morning.

I pushed away from Celestia, landing in a graceless heap on the floor. I'd long since lost the ability to form words, my screams more akin to tortured whispers from my abused, dry throat. I clawed at my scalp, feeling some thing digging around, messing with my brain. Oh God, something was in my head! "GET OUT!!!" I tried to shriek, but my throat had long since given out.

I took a bite of the apple, closing my eyes in bliss as the sweet juices dribbled down my chin. After two days of caught rainwater and as many leaves as I could stuff in my mouth without vomiting, real food was a godsend. I devoured the apple, core and all before plucking three more and climbing out of the tree. I looked to make sure nothing had spotted me, before making a run for it. I didn't get five steps before I was tripped up by a metallic snapping and white-hot pain shooting up my leg. I fell over with a shriek, my apples falling just out of reach. Reaching back, I tried to pry the bear-trap off my leg, to no avail. I was never a hunter, I'd lived in a city all my life. I gulped...I'd have to wait for someone to find me and hope they let me go.

I thought I'd be unconscious by now. But whatever deity had decided to fuck me thought if I was gonna be tortured, I might as well be awake for it. My body refused to follow my commands, lacking the energy to scream and thrash through the pain. I lay limp, breathing shallowly and rapidly, unable to focus on anything else. I felt Celestia's warm magic envelop me again, and my heart stopped. I mustered the last dregs of effort I had to try and get away, but to no avail. My body raised off the ground, and I found myself back in Celestia's wings.

"I'm sorry...I'm so, so sorry..." I heard her whisper, as the agony finally began to ebb away. I felt so tired...

"Is..." I rasped out, hardly able to speak, "Is it over..?" I was just...tired. Tired of ponies. Tired of hurting. Tired of being.

"Yes...it's over." The trembling mare sniffled, holding me just as tightly as before. I tried to feel as I did before, trying to feel the same sense of contentment. "It's all over now..."

"Good..." I muttered, letting my eye close.

I felt nothing.

Chapter 29: This Means War

Author's Note

You will either LOVE this chapter, or it will make you drop the story altogether.THINGS ARE PROGRESSING!!!

This Means War

I awoke to the smell of vanilla and soft fur against my cheek. A deep, rhythmic drumming almost lulled me back to sleep, the warm furry mass enveloping me the most comfortable, welcoming prison I could've imagined. I buried my face against the wall of fur, inhaling the sweet scent and letting myself melt, a content hum rumbling from my throat.

"I see you're awake."

My eye shot open, and I fell off the bed with an indignant squawk. When did Celestia get here? I looked around from my spot on the floor, my eyes scanning for anyone present.

No one...was I hearing things? And now that I think about it...I was snuggling something on the bed. Something warm and alive.

...Oh my God. I slowly sat up, peering over the edge of the bed, to see Celestia stretched out across the mattress devoid of her usual royal regalia.

Oh sweet Christ, did we... I cleared my throat, trying to fight down the embarrassment. "...Hello, Celestia." I stood, straightening my toga and doing my absolute best to keep a straight face. "I don't suppose you remember what happened last night?"

Her smile fell, and she began to look very guilty of something. "First...how much do you remember?"

I scowled, crossing my arms. "I visited Ponyville, got attacked by Sparkle, and wound up back here...somehow. Now answer the question."

The princess gulped, "my sister placed a mind-altering spell on you when she entered your dream, and—"\

"WHAT?!" I shouted, "Luna fucking brainwashed me?!" Ohhh, this went beyond drugging, even Twilight fucking Sparkle and Rainbow Dash never tried to mind-rape me. "What did she make me do?"

"She didn't brainwash you, she just—"

"What. Did. She. Do?" I couldn't keep the absolute contempt out of my voice, my face showing nothing but disgust.

"...The spell suppressed your negative emotions, like anger, fear, and sadness." Celestia explained, "without them, it was...very easy to convince you to follow my lead."

I raised an eyebrow. "And 'following your lead' lead to us sharing a bed?"

Celestia winced, and looked down at the crumpled sheets. "I had to break the spell before the emotional imbalance unraveled your mind. You passed out afterwards."

I paced the room, sighing and putting a hand to my face. "And no one thought it a good idea to tell me about the spell?"

"We weren't sure how you would react."

I stopped. I took a deep breath through my nose, exhaling through my mouth. "You were afraid of how I would react."

"My sister was, yes. She didn't want you to be angry with her."

"Let me finish. She was afraid of how I would react. While I was under the spell."

Celestia nodded. "Yes?"

"That same spell that prevented me from feeling anger or fear. Correct?"

Celestia didn't respond, biting her lip and looking down.

"Celestia...you're a fucking idiot." I glared, my voice lowering to a dead hiss. "The deal is off. I'm leaving." I turned and opened the door, walking down the hall.

"And where will you go?" I heard hoofsteps trotting after me, so I sped up.

"Fuck if I know! The griffons, maybe! The minotaurs! But if I ever see a fucking pony again, I'll jump in front of a train!" I heard a faint pop, and Celestia appeared in front of me in a flash of light.

"Jason, I know you're upset, but think about this!" She pleaded, "we can help you!"

"You've helped enough!" I snarled, my hands balling into fists. "I'm SICK of your help!" I roughly pushed past her, storming away. "EVERYTHING you ponies have told me has been a lie! 'Equestria is the land of magic and friendship!' LIE! 'Ponies are kind, accepting creatures!' LIE!" I forced my breathing to slow, my voice shaky but calm. "I'm through with you. I've tried things your way, and it didn't work. I'm leaving. And I will fight back if you try to stop me."

"...Do you hate me?" I stopped, closing my eyes. Mother...fucker... Celestia continued, her voice getting closer. "You promised you wouldn't hate me after what I did."

"I'm really...really considering it." I pushed on, walking away. This time, Celestia didn't follow.

I exited the castle with surprising ease. The worrying lack of security once again worked in my favor, allowing me to walk out into the crowded streets of Canterlot unmolested. I kept my head low, wading through the throngs of ponies with little difficulty. Luckily for me, they were still not thrilled with being near me. I inwardly stewed on the previous conversation, eyebrows furrowed. Why would Luna do that? She saw what I've been through, did she really think I'd be okay with that? What was she thinking? I rolled my eyes. She wasn't...that much is obvious.

"There it is! That's the monster!" I looked up, my eye scanning the ponies around me until I saw a familiar pony pointing a hoof at me, just as ridiculously dressed as before. Huh. He got a new sword. I walked faster, taking a detour down an alley. Just get away. There's no point in causing a scene.

I walked down the alleys, turning at every corner to try and lose what I was sure was my pursuers. The growing sound of hooves pounding against stone spurred me on, picking up speed until I was running. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw the ringleader turning the last corner just as I disappeared behind the next wall.

A dead-end...why was there always a dead end? Well, fiction-universe, fiction-laws. I looked up to the ledge. Ten feet. No trashcans. There was no way I'd make it. I turned back to face on the crowd...Well, I say crowd, it was only five ponies. Still, I could only take out one at a time...I gulped and lowered myself into a crouch, arms out to my side. Maybe if I make a break for it...

Just as the first lunged, time slowed. For a split-second I thought it was adrenaline, until everything around me stopped dead in it's tracks, the world fading into a washed-out grey. What...The Hell?

"It's a shame, isn't it?" I whirled around, narrowing my eye at the owner of that familiar, familiar voice. The draconequus was leaning against the wall, examining the talons of his eagle-claw.

I narrowed my eyes, slipping into the same crouch I had previously. "Discord...what're you trying to pull?"

"I'm just helping a fellow outcast!" He exclaimed, launching into the air and hovering a few feet off the ground. My eye twitched when I noticed his wings were completely still. "Can't I offer an obviously much-needed helping hand?" I flinched back when he offered his lion's paw, which had been detatched from the rest of him at some point.

Fighting to regain my composure, I scowled at the trickster. "No. Whatever you're trying to do, leave me out of it." I turned to walk away, but shuddered as I felt a clammy, scaly claw draped around my shoulder.

"And leave you to face these ponies all alone?"

I sighed and ducked under the arm. "I'm used to it."

"Oh, but now you're popular." He hissed into my ear, making me shudder violently and take a wild swing, "has Celestia at least punished the ones responsible for your predicament?" I could hear the sick grin in his voice.

"Like she would...." I muttered, crossing my arms. I turned back to glare at the too-innocent looking draconequus, a gargoyle-esque frown making it abundantly clear how I felt about him. "Are you getting to something here?"

"All I'm saying is I'm surprised you haven't done anything about all this!" Discord shouted, "if it were me, I would've turned their world upside-down like—"

"Like you already did. Yeah, I figured you would." I rolled my eyes. "If you really want to help me, just drop me off somewhere outside Canterlot. I honestly don't care where."

"Oh, I'll do more than that..." He chuckled, pressing his forehead to mine. My vision was filled with scarlet and yellow, but I refused to back down. "What if I said I could help you give these ponies exactly what they deserve?"

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying my best to block him out. "I know what you're trying to do, and no. I just want to be left alone."

The trickster growled and pushed away, pacing back and forth across the alley. "I just don't get you! Why don't you want to see this place burn? Anyone would after going through what you did!"

I smirked. "If the spirit of chaos can't make sense of me, maybe I should take the mantle?" A swat to the back of my head was his response.

"Shush. We're talking about your problems here, not mine. And I think I know what yours is..." He grinned, stroking his chin. "After all this, you still have some loyalty to your little show-ponies, don't you?"

I tried to deny it, but...I couldn't. I did still love the ponies from my show. I furrowed my eyebrows, clenching my jaw. "How do you know about that?"

"Oh, you humans and your funny little heads!" He cackled, arching his back until his ears touched his heels, "did you honestly think your society could discover interdimensional portal technology yourselves?"

My mind stopped. I stared at the draconequus for what felt like an eternity, gaping like a fish. "I...wha...y..."

Discord gave a wolfish grin, pouncing at the opportunity. "Oh, I can. I did."

I gathered just enough of my wits to dumbly ask, "...why?"

"Because, Jason Wright...you deserve it."

I closed my eyes, breathing heavily. "And everything that happened?"

"The Element Bearers are supposed to be the epitome of good." Discord's face screwed up as if he had eaten something bad. "Frankly, I am disgusted by what they did. That's why I'm helping you."

I blinked. "I thought you were—"

"Reformed? Oh, I am." He grinned darkly. "Doesn't mean my little ponies don't need to be taught a lesson every once in a while. So..." He leaned in again, eyes narrowing with his impish grin. "How can I help You?"

I took a shaky breath, closing my eyes. Steeling my resolve, I stared directly into the mismatched eyes of chaos itself. "I want to make them pay." Discord grinned wider than his face should've allowed, but I cut him off before he could speak. "BUT...I want to try it my way first. Take me to Celestia."

Chapter 30: The Truth Hurts

The Truth Hurts

In the blink between disappearing and reappearing back in Celestia's private chambers, I felt as if all of existence had been shoved into my skull. In a time too brief to measure, I saw stars burn away and explode into existence. I saw impossible cataclysms ripple through time and space, the birth of planets and life, and the death of the universe.

Of course, I couldn't understand even a fraction of it. My mind swam as the spots faded from my vision, barely keeping balance as my senses returned to me. What...was that? I blinked the blurriness from my eyes, staring at the motionless alicorn splayed out on the bed with a positively miserable expression.

"Hello, Celestia!" Discord's mocking voice sounded from behind me. I tried to demand what he had shown me, but my mouth refused to follow commands. I couldn't even make my lip twitch, let alone utter a sound. I glared hatefully at the draconequus as he walked through me, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Aren't you looking positively radiant?"

The solar diarch refused to move, her empty eyes moving to Discord's face before returning to staring blankly ahead. "Leave me, Discord. I'm in no mood for your tricks."

The trickster chuckled and ruffled Celestia's hair, before responding with "your manners are slipping, little Tia. And here I thought you'd be happy to have your little pet back!" I glared at Discord with pure loathing, my fists shaking. That...bastard...

"Jason?!" Celestia immediately shot her head up, flitting her eyes about before training them on me. Her eyes narrowed and she glared at Discord just as I was. "What have you done to him?"

Yes, Discord. What DID you do to me? I crossed my arms and tapped my foot impatiently, pointing at my mouth. Celestia noticed the gesture, her eyes hardening further.

"He has quite the potty-mouth Princess, I almost fainted from his language!" Discord feigned dizziness, before his lips turned into an open zipper and he continued. "So I made sure he was more pleasant to be around." The zipper closed of it's own accord, before returning to his usual lips in a flash.

"Let him speak," Celestia ordered, eyes narrowed dangerously. "Or so help me..."

"Why should I?" Discord prodded, suddenly inches from Celestia's mug. "Your sister seemed to think he could use an 'improvement'. I just went about it a more direct way, is all!"

"If you knew he was under her spell, you know I broke it. What's your point?"

"Oh, but you didn't want to, did you?" Discord's sinister hiss caused the alicorn to shudder, attempting to speak before once again getting cut off. "You took him to bed and made him say what you wanted to hear. Oh yes, little Tia. I saw everything." Discord's face dropped from a contemptuous sneer to an outright glare. "And here I almost thought better of you."

Celestia closed her eyes and forced down her temper, taking a deep breath and facing the draconequus with an even glare. "What do you plan to do?"

"Moi? Oh, you misunderstand. I'm here on behalf of Mr. Wright here!" The master of chaos snapped his talons, and my jaw finally began to move again.

Celestia turned to me, eyes pleading. "Jason, please tell me you haven't struck a deal with him."

"OBJECTION!" Discord exclaimed, pointing his lion's paw at the princess, "Your line of questioning is irrele—"

"Shut up," I snapped, "that joke was old when I was ten." Honestly, how—wait, how does he even... I shook my head. I don't wanna know. "Anyways," I turned back to Celestia, crossing my arms. "He's right, that's beside the point. I'm here for a request."

Celestia was visibly thrown off, but continued nonetheless. "If it's within my power, I will try. What do you need?"

"Justice," I started, "Twilight Sparkle started my situation for the last three years. Rainbow Dash actively assaulted me with fucking lightning. Applejack..." I shook my head, banishing the thought. "My point is, what the Elements have done has to be against some laws. I'd like to press charges however I can."

Celestia sighed and stood up from the bed, giving me a pitiful stare. "I can't do that."

"WHAT?!" Discord and I shouted in near perfect sync, my hands balling into fists. "I'm sorry, but...what?" I hissed.

"I can't imprison the Eleme—"

"Oh, I heard what you said, Princess," I growled, "I'm giving you a chance to change it to something that won't make me punch you."

"The Elements of Harmony are supposed to be the epitome of Equestrian values, even before myself. If word got out to the public that they were imprisoned, there would be chaos!" Celestia's voice raised towards the end, and she lowered her ears. "Anything else. If there is anything, anything else I can do to make it up to you..."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, turning around to walk out of the room. "No. I'm done here."

"Jason!" Celestia shouted, "you don't need to leave! I understand my ponies have hurt you, but I can protect you! I—"

"You understand nothing!" I turned to her, marching up until I was a hair's breadth from her muzzle. "Did you ever, EVER think to check on me?! Did you send anyone a message letting them know I was coming? NO! You promised me I'd be safe!" I was screaming in her face, but I didn't care. "Sparkle turned me away because she said she'd seen enough of humans, so OBVIOUSLY there have been others! I SURE HAVEN'T SEEN THEM! What, did they all kill themselves too?!" My arm had raised of it's own accord, reared back for a strike. Celestia had her eyes screwed shut, head turned to the side. It took all my willpower to lower my arm.

"No...your word is worthless to me." I once again turned to leave. "If this is how you 'take care' of others, it's no wonder Luna went insane."

Discord, for his part, looked incredibly uncomfortable, and for the first time looked like he had been rendered speechless. The draconequus wordlessly followed me, but I was too pissed to care.

"Don't you think that was a little harsh?" He sounded quiet, subdued even.

"Yeah, well..." I glared out at nothing, "the truth hurts..."

"So what's the plan?"

"If Celestia won't right her wrongs, I will." A small, bitter smile came to my face. "I'd really, really hoped it wouldn't come to this..."

Chapter 31: Surprise, Muthabucka

Surprise, Muthabucka

Another teleportation spiked with chaos-magic and a migraine later, and I was at Sweet Apple Acres. I blinked the spots from my vision, looking around at the large orchard. I frowned slightly when I saw the state of the trees; clearly, someone hadn't seen fit to maintain them for some time. "Do ya think she—" I paused when I looked around, a worried frown creasing my features. Discord was gone. A faint shiver ran up my spine, but I ignored it. I could just barely see the farmhouse up ahead, at the crest of a small hill to overlook the surrounding orchard. I smiled and started walking.

I tramped up the few stairs to knock on the door, crossing my arms as I waited for Applejack to answer. I didn't have to wait long, as the door swung out (nearly catching my nose, if not for a quick step back) and Applejack stood with a cool glare. "Weren't you s'pposed to be in Canterlot?"

I stopped my usual nervous twitches, forcing myself to stand adamant under her stare. "Celestia made it clear she doesn't have my best interest at heart. There was no reason to stay." It was difficult to look her in the eyes, but I did. It was easier than anticipated to stand my ground. Maybe since I proved I could take out any one pony if it came down to it. That's always empowering.

Applejack raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment. Instead, she turned around and walked further into the house. "Well, c'mon in, tell me whatcha gotta tell me." I snorted lightly with a small smile. I'd almost forgotten how blunt she could be. Nonetheless, I followed her into the family-room and sat down on one end of a rickety couch that looked like it had definitely seen better days. "So what's this about the Princess?"

I shrugged, trying to keep my anger out of my voice. "I asked for justice. She refused." I rolled my good eye. "Apparently, being Element Bearers gives you six Diplomatic Immunity."

"Dippin' what?"

I barked a laugh, wiping a tear from my eye until I saw Applejack's sour glare. I cleared my throat and sat back with my legs crossed, fingers laced over my lap. "It means Equestrian Law can't touch you. You six can do whatever you want: beat, torture, starve, maim, and no pony can do a thing to any of you—legally at least." At Applejack's indignant, furious scowl, I held up a hand. "Ponies assume that because you represent Equestrian moral values, you live by them." At this, I leaned forward, my expression darkening. "But we both know none of you do."

Applejack glared harder at me, ears splayed back. "What do you want?" I smirked, leaning back.

"Help. If Celestia won't give me the courts, I'll take the press. I'm going to write an autobiography, detailing my adventures in Equestria. I want your help publishing it. If I'm endorsed by the Element of Honesty, there's a better chance ponies will believe me." I smiled, steepling my fingers in front of me. "Consider this a substitute for the last request I asked of you."

Applejack couldn't speak. She hung her head, trying to work her mouth and looking like a fish for her efforts. My smile widened when she looked back up, steeling her nerve. "...Don't name any of mah friends." My smile dropped. "Do that, and ya got a deal."

How I wanted to just throw it all in her face and storm out of there. Instead, I furrowed my eyebrows. "I'm not going to lie, Applejack." She winced. "Frankly, I'm surprised you'd even say that." Applejack lowered, looking down with her belly almost touching the floor.

"Those're mah terms." I could tell it was physically painful for her to press the issue. I was sure I could've made her crack if I pressed any harder, but...I felt like if I broke her, I'd lose something. Reluctantly, I sighed.

"Fine...deal. I will identify them as Element Bearers." I scowled. "But no names."

"Ah need ta finish mah chores...Can ya..."

I nodded, standing. "I'll leave you to it then. Until next time, Applejack." I turned and walked out of the house, almost running into Apple Bloom on the way out.

Well, I almost ran into her. She galloped full-tilt into my leg, almost sending me to the floor. "What the ffff..." I looked down to the terrified filly staring up at me in blatant terror, and rolled my eyes. "...ffforget this, I'm done here." I continued walking away, my strides longer and falling harder than absolutely necessary. "I am so done."

Applejack let herself fall to the floor, covering her face with her hooves. A shuddering breath escaped her, carrying a faint sob with it. There's no doubtin' it...he's gone bad. She squeezed her eyes shut, ignoring her hat that had fallen beside her. Was only a matter o'time, Ah suppose.

"...Sis?" Applejack opened one eye, looking up to the concerned, shaken eyes of her sister. "Did he hurt ya?"

Applejack didn't respond. Reaching out with a hoof, she drew Apple Bloom towards her, pulling her down and wrapping her in a crushing hug. "No...he didn't." Applejack sniffled, resting her chin on Apple Bloom's head. "He's just mad, is all."

"Why?" Apple Bloom wiggled, her bow irritating Applejack's nose. The latter flinched at the question, before gulping.

"...Ah hurt him. Me an' the girls hurt him a lot." Applejack closed her eyes. "Honestly, Ah can't blame him for wantin' ta get even."

"Why'd ya go hurt him then?" Apple Bloom pushed, "Did he do anythin' to ya?"

Sighing, Applejack responded. "No...Sometimes, ponies do things that don't make a whole lotta sense."

It was several seconds before Apple Bloom responded. "...He's scary."

Applejack chuckled. "Yeah...Ah suppose he is."

The walk back to Ponyville was uneventful. My permanent scowl was back in place, my single emerald eye peering out from under severe brows.

At least that's what I was going for. I could've looked like a gargoyle for all I knew. Either way, the ponies fled from me as per usual as soon as I was in the town proper. I looked around, the seeming ghost town. Wait... I squinted my eye and looked ahead. Usually there were still a few stragglers scrambling inside and slamming their doors. But every single house was closed up, and there was nopony out on the streets.

Something was going on. I narrowed my eye, speeding up to a jog until I turned the corner. A cloaked quadruped stood a ways away, oblivious to my presence. At least I'm not the only one they run from. Without a second thought, I approached.

"HEY!" I shouted, raising an arm. The figure froze until I was a couple pony-lengths away, slowly turning around. I paused, seeing a striped muzzle under the shadow of her hood. I frowned. The last zebra I'd met had a funny little habit...A spot on the back of my head throbbed at the memory.

The zebra lifted one hoof, pushing the hood back and OH MY GOD IT'S THE SAME ZEBRA. I squawked and fell back, scrambling and kicking at the ground until I'd managed a few feet. I stood, looking for her stick.

She was not amused. Her dark-rimmed eyes stared at me with a sharpness absent in any pony, until I'd calmed down. Once I had, I pointed my index finger at her. "What...the fuck...are you doing here?!"

"I thought it best for me to settle," her deep, rich accent caused the hairs on my body to stand. "Where better than the forest to test my mettle?"

My eye twitched. So she rhymes now... "Why're you rhyming?"

"I do not rhyme; there's just no time." From the little smirk on her face, I assumed she was messing with me. I frowned.

"Fine, don't tell me...when did you learn English anyway?" I crossed my arms.

"Miss Rose Stone is responsible for my new tone," she responded.

The earth-pony? I raised an eyebrow. I knew she was a translator, but I had no idea she could actually teach a language. I filed it away for later. "My name's Jason, by the way. Jason Wright." I nodded at her.

I tuned out her rhyming as best I could, though she introduced herself as Zecora. And apparently, this was a common occurrence. She had come into town several times, and each time the place was deserted. "Yeah, I know how ya feel," I added, "don't expect it to get better. It doesn't. Why'd you come to town, anyway?"

She said she needed a certain plant for a potion. I offered to help, but apparently she couldn't use me if I didn't know what it looked like. I shrugged and leaned against a nearby building, watching her work.

And work.

Aaaand work.

Aaaaaaaaaand oh dear God she's just poking at the ground. "STOP!" I shouted, pushing off and walking towards her. "Just...stop. Jeez, how ponies get anything done with hooves is a mystery..." Probably magic, the cheaters. "Just tell me where to dig, and I'll dig. Okay?"

She nodded, a sly smile on her face. ...She was just waiting for me to do the dirty work... My eye twitched, but I bit my tongue and did as asked.

I scraped at the packed earth with my fingers, scooping out handfuls of dirt far quicker than she was. It took twenty minutes of dirty, and eventually painful work, once my fingertips went raw. But a tiny unassuming seedling was my reward, which Zecora deftly swiped from my hand and stuffed in the satchel under her cloak. She thanked me and turned to walk out into the Everfree.

Of course, I followed. I followed her out of town, into the forest, around a field of weird blue flowers, and into the deepest part of the forest. She either didn't hear me, or didn't care. When she disappeared into a hollowed out tree made to look like a hut, I crossed my arms at the door.

"A-HEM!!!" I shouted, rapping on the shoddy door. It swung open, revealing a somewhat surprised and incredulous zebra mare within.

"You're free to go. Did I not tell you so?"

I crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow. "I know. I'm here for another reason."

Author's Note

If you like It Never Really Ends, gimme some Patreon love!

Chapter 33: No Touching

No Touching

"No."

"Please?"

"Not just no, but Hell no."

"Pretty please?"

I sighed, rolling my eyes. "Why do you want to get me out of my cloak?" I liked this cloak. A lot.

"It's all scratchy, and I can't give you a hug when you're all scratchy!" I raised an eyebrow at the...surprisingly effective puppy-eyes.

"Why would you hug me?" Okay, in my defense I was genuinely curious.

"Friends hug! We're friends, so I'm gonna hug you!" Sound logic.

"And exactly what makes you think we're friends?" Despite myself, I found myself shrugging off the thick cloak. I immediately felt...smaller. As if I'd gone from being invincible to helpless. I shook it off.

"Well...you forgave me, and I wanna be your friend." Pinkie's smile started to wane, the small curl her hair had managed to regain starting to fall out.

"So forgiving you automatically means I like you?" I asked, finding myself much more patient than I expected. What the Hell's going on?

Pinkie's eyes fell for a split second, but her pseudo-smile morphed into a determined glare. "Now you listen here, mister. I apologized. You forgave me. And you're right...I wasn't there to help. But I am here now, and I am going to help! Now take...it...OFF!"

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

She grabbed the edges of the cloak and forcibly tugged it down, the scratchy fabric making a faint, raspy hiss as it slid down my makeshift toga. With her forelegs no longer on the mattress to support her, she fell forward, directly into me. I fell back onto the bed with a squawk, arms waving uselessly at my sides. What?! What?! What?! What?!

I inhaled to speak. Or...I tried to. For some reason, my nose was blocked off. I wasn't sick, I hadn't gotten so much as a cold since arriving in Equestria. So...what?

A drop of drool rolled down my cheek. Oh. Oh. "Bingkie...ged obba me." Upon falling over me, somehow Pinkie's open muzzle landed right on me. And she was now trying to eat my face. The upper half of my face. "Bingkie....off.

Slowly, the slobbery pony mouth pulled away, and I was finally able to see. Pinkie's eyes were again pinpricks, her mouth still slightly open, tongue hanging out.

And she was red. From her ears to her cheeks was practically glowing scarlet. "I...I-I, uhh..."

"Whatever you think that was," I started, internalizing my screaming fit, "stop. It was an accident. Let it go."

"...Nope." With another word, Pinkie descended. I squirmed and tried to pull away, but Pinkie was sitting on my lap. Wherever I went, she went. DAMN IT!

It happened with an audible 'muah'. Pink pony lips plopped down onto my own, still fitting awkwardly over most of my own very tightly closed mouth, covering whatever dry spots remained on my face with pony drool.

I shot upright, roughly pushing Pinkie away. "What the fuck, Pinkie?!" I shouted, leaping off the bed. She rolled to a stop at the edge of the mattress, looking up at me with a confused, hurt expression.

"Jayjay, calm down!" She pleaded, hopping down to the floor.

"Stay back," I ordered, picking my cloak off the floor and wrapping it securely around my body. I tossed the hood up, obscuring my face and giving myself some small measure of comfort.

"It's okay, I'm not gonna hurt you!" She offered, ears plastered against her skull and body low to the ground. "It's okay!"

"NO, IT'S NOT OKAY!" I snapped, stomping my foot. "What part of this could have possibly made you think THAT was okay?!"

"Jayjay-"

"My name is Jason," I hissed, teeth bared in a snarl. "Jason. I only let one person call me silly nicknames, and you are not. Her." I turned to leave, my hand on the doorknob.

"Jay-...Jason, please!" I felt something rub against my side, spun around, and slapped the hoof away.

"Don't touch me!" I spat, voice low and harsh. "Don't you ever touch me!" She scurried back, hoof held to her chest. I settled my glare on her for a few seconds, before walking out and slamming the door behind me. Fucking ponies!

I stormed down the stairs, walking past a still-terrified Cup Cake without a second glance. Fuck this, fuck them, and fuck me.

Rainbow Dash blinked, the harsh fluorescent light killing her eyes. Her head was swimming, and her body felt numb and heavy.

"Ahh, I see you're awake." Rainbow looked out to the side, where a vaguely pony-shaped blur stood beside her bed. "Don't try to talk. You've got a breathing tube in your throat." At this, he sounded sympathetic. "I'm afraid your trachea's completely collapsed. We're doing all we can, but it's going to take time to heal."

What? She asked herself, her expression uncomprehending.

"The Princess had you moved to Ponyville Hospital as soon as your condition stabilized. I'm afraid you've only been here a few hours." The doctor added, pulling out a syringe. "If you get plenty of rest, you'll be allowed visitors tomorrow."

The doctor injected a fluid into Rainbow's IV, and she was out in a matter of seconds.

I paced at the edges of the Everfree, grumbling to myself. "What the Hell was she thinking?" I said out loud, fidgeting nervously with the fabric of my cloak. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart. Just...calm...down.

I am calm. I am fine. Everything is perfectly fine.

...And this tree is familiar. I looked up at the twisting trunk, the large branches, and the ring of raw, rubbed-away bark on a thick limb roughly twelve feet in the air. Right...this is the spot. I reached up and rubbed absently at the collar of raised, red scar tissue around my neck. It looks like we match.

"Heh...hehehehahahahaha!" I started laughing, and once I started, I couldn't stop. Nothing about this was funny. I shouldn't have laughed.

But a lot of things happen that shouldn't.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!"

Chapter 34: Everything is Perfectly Fine

Author's Note

Since Jason is currently not lucid enough to understand what's going on around him, this chapter will be told in 3rd person.

Everything is Perfectly Fine

Spike stretched out in the old Cutie Mark Crusader's clubhouse, half-asleep. The girls themselves had abandoned the treehouse a few years back, after Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo earner their own marks. Sitting up, the young drake grumbled and hopped down, landing rear-first on the grass.

He stood without issue, his draconic resilience easily insulating him from such a minor fall. I'm starving... He looked between Ponyville and the Apple Family's home, frowning at both choices. I...don't think I'm ready to face Twilight again. And Applejack would just drag me back anyway. He groaned, idly scratching at a skewed scale. So who to go to...

Rarity? No, that's the first place Twilight would look. As much as he hated to admit it, it wasn't a good idea.

Pinkie Pie? He'd have to pass right by the library to get there. Too risky.

Fluttershy? He looked towards the Everfree, a small smile spreading to his scaly mug. Perfect!

Not perfect. Every time Spike had gone to Fluttershy's home - an admittedly low number - he'd been accompanied by Twilight, and had talked the entire way. Meaning? He had no idea where she lived. Aside from 'on the edge of the Everfree.'

"Fluttershy?" He yelled, wandering along the edge of the dark forest. "Hello?"

"Cheheheheheheh..."

Spike froze, looking around. "Who was that?!" It had sounded vaguely like laughter, but...off. "Pinkie? Is that you?"

A dark, hunched shape shifted slightly behind the first row of trees, low to the ground. "I-I'm fine...I'm fine...I'm fine...I'm fine..."

The dragon gulped, tiptoeing towards the...thing. It didn't seem to notice him until he was right beside it, when he realized that whatever it was wore a dark, heavy cloak. The dragon gulped, trembling as he reached over to pull back the hood.

The thick fabric glided roughly over the figure's mop of unruly, choppy dark hair, but it...no, he didn't seem to notice. Spike blinked, taking a step back. "...Jason?" He whispered, his face pulling into a worried, almost scared expression.

The worn, skinny man was almost unrecognizable. His usually dark brown hair was a jet black, falling around his face in random, messy locks. His skin was a pale grey, as if he had been leeched of any color. The man paused his giggle-fit, turning and looking at the young dragon with stormy slate-hued eyes surrounded by dark rings.

Spike screamed, his body attempting to scurry away on autopilot. The awkward, jumbled attempt left him falling on his face, though he just as quickly got to his feet and sprinted away.

"FLUTTERSHY!!!"

It took half an hour for him to stumble upon the cottage, and it was already early in the evening. Spike ran up to the door, pounding on it with both fists. "Fluttershy! Jason! Everfree! He-he-heeeelp!!!"

The door creaked open, and a single startled eye peeked through the crack. After catching sight of who it was, Fluttershy opened the door fully. "Spike? What're you doing out so late? Shouldn't you be with Twilight?"

The name immediately put a sour look on the dragon's face, to which Fluttershy slowly scooted behind the door. "If...you don't mind me asking..."

"There's no time for that," he dismissed, shaking his head violently. "Jason's in the Everfree, I think something's wrong with him!" He immediately took off, not bothering to check if she was following. "Come on!"

It took far less time to return to the spot Spike had found the disturbed human, and luckily for him, he hadn't moved. Fluttershy landed silently beside the dragon, slowly creeping up on Jason's crouched form.

"Jason?" She whispered, moving around to his front. His hood was still down, exposing his colorless face and hair. "Are...Are you alright?"

He looked up, locking eyes Fluttershy. The latter's expression quickly melted from worry to terror, as Jason's tight, strained grin glared at her.

"I'm...just...fine..." He responded, his voice shaky and resembling the growling of an animal. He stood to his full height, staring down at Fluttershy with rapt attention. "Everything is perfectly fine."

Gulping, Fluttershy forced herself to continue. "Then...can you do something for me?" When Jason's expression remained static, she added, "If you would follow me...I'd be very, very grateful. Can you do that for me?"

"...That's fine." He muttered, fidgeting with the edges of his cloak. "It's fine."

Fluttershy nodded with a quick, soft 'thank you' and started walking towards her cottage.

Fluttershy guided Jason to a couch, setting him down. Spike sat awkwardly as fas away from him as he could, but Jason didn't seem to notice or care.

"Would you like a snack?" Fluttershy asked, Jason's eyes flitting to her before returning to looking at nothing in particular.

"I'm fine." Jason insisted.

"But you look positively starved," the pegasus mare pushed, fluttering off to the kitchen. "I'm gonna get you something just in case." Jason didn't respond.

Fluttershy returned a moment later with a pair of sandwiches, giving one to Jason and one to Spike. Spike immediately chowed down on his, but it took Jason a moment to realize what was in his hand. Once he did, he wolfed it down in three bites, ignoring any concept of manners or grace.

Jason ignored any further attempts at conversation, fidgeting and clawing at his cloak. His eyes moved as if watching something, but there was nothing Fluttershy or Spike could see. The only time Jason reacted was a half hour later, when Fluttershy had tried to get his attention by tapping his arm.

Jason shot up off the couch, almost leaping to the opposite side of the room. "Don't touch me!" He hissed, face twisted into an almost wolfish snarl. "Don't touch me!"

"Okay!" Fluttershy settled her belly on the floor, eyes closed and wings clamped tight to her sides in a practiced movement to make herself seem as small as possible. Jason stood his ground for several tense moments, before his face relaxed.

Again, his eyes wandered around the room aimlessly. They began to droop after a moment, and within three minutes Jason collapsed to the ground out cold.

"...What happened to him?" Spike asked, hesitating to approach him.

"I keep sedatives for my more grumpy critters," Fluttershy explained. "Sometimes they don't like ponies being near them when they're sick. It helps them relax."

"Yeah...He's relaxed, alright." Spike poked Jason's cheek with a claw. "How much you give him?"

"He looks a bit like a bear, so..."

Chapter 35: Wrong

Author's Note

Wrong

Everything was wrong. My arm-leg? Hoof? Wing? Talon? No...arms...I have arms...were heavy. I couldn't move them. I didn't want to. My legs-did I have legs? What am I? A...pony?

No...no. Not a pony. Ponies are bad. Evil, ugly creatures. I am NOT a pony. A...griffon? No. I don't have wings. I'm a...a...

It doesn't matter. Nothing is as it should be. Things are wrong. Colors that aren't colors swirled and warped in front of me, around me, behind me. They weren't real. They were wrong. WRONG. It was all wrong...

Sounds. Bad sounds. Speech? Disjointed. Indecipherable. Angry screaming. Scratching. I could feel the sounds in my skin, scratching and scraping and gnashing and pulling and tearing and...

It was all wrong. Everything was wrong.

The scratching is...was...is in my skull. My head full of spiders. Scratching, scuttling, biting, eating...Oh God, eating! They were eating me! I wanted to thrash and scratch and pull them off, get them away, get them out of my eyes and ears and nose, they were in my mouth, someone get them out! They burned and stung in my lungs, scuttling over themselves and devouring me from the inside. Everything burned. Everything hurt. I...

I'm so tired...

"He's going into cardiac arrest!" One of the doctors shouted, the entire room a flurry of movement. Two large, heavily insulated pads were pressed to Jason's chest, an electric, rapidly ascending whine filled the room, and—

"CLEAR!"

Everything hurt. Something stabbed my chest, again, and again. The pain burned. I screamed, but the scratching, eating little spiders muffled any noise. I couldn't breathe. I hurt all over, burning, prickling, aching...just make it stop! Please!

Someone! Just make it stop!

Something was falling away. Something ever-present, nameless, and very much necessary. I couldn't hold it. Everything was slipping through my fingers, slippery, elusive, evading every attempt. I couldn't let it go.

I...I am...Ape? No...No, no no no no...Monster?

'You're nothing but a monster!'

'Sweet Celestia, what is that thing?!'

...Celestia?

'Get out this instant! I'll not have a beast in my boutique!

'I've seen enough of—'

The scratching drowned out any other sounds or thoughts, threatening to split my head in two.

Monster.

I am a monster.

'I'll help you every step of the way, Jeff.'

...Jeff...who is Jeff?

Rainbow Dash was awoken by the door creaking open, a gurney wheeling in. She silently listened as several grunts of exertion preceded a heavy thump into her neighboring bed, the curtain obscuring her view of her new roommate.

"How can something so skinny be so bucking heavy?" One of the stallions complained, before the small group left without a word or look back.

Some 'thing'? Rainbow thought in confusion.

Fluttershy sobbed into her hooves in the hospital's waiting room, Spike rubbing her back. "I...I-I-I killed somepony!" She wailed, fur matted with tears.

"Oh come on, no you didn't!" Spike rebuked, patting the distraught mare's withers. "You just poisoned him; we don't know he's dying!"

Fluttershy sobbed harder, an older mare glaring at Spike from across the room. The little dragon winced, gulping. "That came out wrong...I meant to say you couldn't have known it would hurt him."

"B-but I should've!" Fluttershy sniffled, still hidden by her forehooves. "I take care of animals for a living... I know how much is safe to give my critters, every single one of them. I don't make mistakes like this..." She curled in on herself, wailing, "I'm a monster!"

Spike could deal with Twilight's freakouts. He could even deal with Sombra.

I can't do this, he realized, gulping. But...I know who can. Standing, he hopped down from the chair and ran to the door. "I'll be right back!" And out he went, not waiting for a reply. A single word ran through his mind, courtesy of Jason's own colorful, and often quite loud vocabulary. Dammit...dammit dammit dammit!

Dodging the ponies in the street, Spike finally crashed through the library's door. "Twilight!"

No answer. The library was completely trashed, books lying everywhere, pages torn out, inkwells spilled and shattered against walls. And the entire building was silent as a grave.

Walking into the eerily quiet building, he immediately went up the stairs. "Twilight? You here?" Again, no response. Spike stood outside Twilight's bedroom, reaching for the doorknob.

He hesitated. Is...is she angry? He pulled back, wringing his hands nervously. Is it worth risking it?

'I'm a monster!'

...Of course it was.

The little dragon took a deep breath and pushed open the door, willing himself to enter. "Twilight?"

No reply. But he saw her. Twilight laid on the bed, eyes puffy, red, and half-open. She looked bedraggled, her entire body spotted with fine black splatters. Papercuts ringed her mouth and muzzle, as if she had tried eating the stuff. Spike gasped, almost falling back. "Twilight...what happened to you?!"

He ran to the bedside, Twilight's eyes absently following his movements. "Twilight?"

"I'm sorry..." She whispered, her voice hoarse and almost gone. "I looked everywhere for you. I—"

"Forget about me. Fluttershy needs you, Twilight...she's in really bad shape!" Spike grabbed her hoof, pulling with all his might.

"What can I do?" Twilight muttered, pulling her hoof back. "They hate me. I saw it. I'd just make it worse."

"That's crazy-talk!" Spike shouted, throwing his hands up. "What's wrong with all you ponies?! Pinkie hasn't come out of her room in days, Rainbow Dash is in the hospital, Applejack sends Big Macintosh into town instead of coming herself, and Fluttershy thinks she's a monster for one tiny dosage mistake!" He crossed his arms, huffing in frustration. A tiny wisp of smoke wafted up from his nostrils at the gesture. "The only pony not going crazy-dramatic on us Rarity. Rarity! Has Discord messed the world up again or something?!"

Twilight winced at the shout, and sat up to address the young drake. "Don't be ridiculous, Fluttershy's keeping him in check. Things are just...weird right now."

"Either way, Fluttershy needs you. Now. I'll tell you on the way."

Twilight slid out of the bed, looking herself over in disgust. "I think I should get a bath first...I look like a Rorshcach test. My wings need fixing too." She waved the limbs, covered in skewed, bent, and broken feathers. "I couldn't fly if I wanted to."

"We don't have time!" Spike groaned, grabbing Twilight's foreleg and pulling her down the stairs.

"Hey! Watch it!" Twilight protested, wings flapping uselessly behind her. Spike let go as soon as they reached the bottom, running to the door. She followed after getting her bearings, frowning at the idea of being seen in such a state. Darn it...I'm a princess now, I can't let Ponyville see me as an incompetent slob! What if it gets back to Celestia?!

"Twilight, come on!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming..." She followed. "...Spike?"

He turned, eyes rolling. "Yeah, I'll fix up the library when we get—"

"That's not what I was gonna say." Twilight said flatly, before pulling Spike to her chest with a foreleg. "I'm glad you're back, Spike...and I am sorry."

Chapter 36: Ponies Make Shitty Doctors

Ponies Make Shitty Doctors

If there was one good word to describe my state for the last few days...It would have to be livid.

Though humiliated, terrified, and bored were fighting for second place. For the third day in a row I lay awake and motionless in a hospital bed, staring at the ceiling. My limbs felt like lead, and were just as immobile. My vision swam with strange colors, some named and some I'd never imagined. The room had been spinning since consciousness had returned to me, and I had vomited on myself...four times, if memory serves.

I don't remember how I got here. Did somepony kick me? I wouldn't put it past them...Had I fallen and broken my spine? No...If I had an injury like that, I'd be able to speak at least. Even my facial muscles were frozen.

Plus, I could feel everything that was happening to me. For instance there was a tube down my throat feeding me oxygen, which was killing my throat, the bed was lumpy and uncomfortable, my lower abdomen was in more pain than I ever remember being in, and the nurse couldn't hit my vein worth shit for dick. Seriously, isn't that your fucking job? It's on purpose, isn't it?

They must know I'm awake. They know they can do anything to me they want. They talk about me as if they think I'm in a coma, but they know. Fucking sadists.

For the past few days, I'd had one simple mission: move. I have been, as of yet, unsuccessful.

Come on...blink. Just blink. One tiny blink.

My eyelids quivered the tiniest bit. A good start.

Just one, tiny, itty bitty blink.

I blinked.

YES! Oh, sweet victory, thy name is...Uhh...

Shit...

Doctor Horse sat at his desk, looking over a particularly odd file.

NAME: Jason Wright
SPECIES: Unknown
DATE OF BIRTH: Unknown
ADDRESS: Unknown

CASE SUMMARY
The patient is a twelve-hooves tall bipedal creature of unknown age similar to an ape or diamond dog. It was admitted with severe sedative overdose. Later developed prolonged cardiopulmonary arrest, paralysis and coma. Recovery not likely. During diagnostic scan, foreign tissues were discovered in both kidneys.

TREATMENT(S)
Mechanical ventilation, catheter, colostomy.

FAMILY HISTORY
None

MEDICAL HISTORY
Admitted for attempted suicide by hanging. Suffered a laryngeal fracture, collapsed trachea, severe oxygen-deprivation, and severe neck-strain.

MEDICATION(S)
None

NOTES
This thing was pumped with enough tranquilizer to kill four stallions. It shouldn't be alive.

The doctor sighed, dropping the file to his desk. "Miss Redheart?"

The addressed mare quickly came around the corner, head tilted slightly to the side. "Doctor?"

"Any sign of improvement with the creature?"

Nurse Redheart shook her head, a small frown marring her features. "Not since last time I checked, no..."

Nodding, the doctor gave a small 'hmph'. "It's been seven days. If he was gonna recover, he would've by now. Does he have a next of kin?" It was a formality, nothing more. Everypony knew who he was, and everypony knew he was alone.

"No, of course not." Nurse Redheart confirmed, face pinched in confusion. "You have his file right there," she pointed to the still opened file, which the doctor quickly closed.

"Very well. We can't afford to waste resources on a lost cause. Pull the plug."

In half an hour, I'd managed to get my face, neck, and arms mobile. Heavy, clumsy, and sluggish yes, but I could move again. And it had exhausted me. I was nearly asleep when I heard the door creak open, and I blearily opened my eyes. The room span as expected, but I saw a mare I was somewhat familiar with walk in. Cutest nurse, here to break me out of here at last...or kill me.

Probably kill me.

She walked to my side, pointedly avoiding looking in my direction. She stopped by a wall outlet, where what I assumed was my respirator was hooked up.

...Don't you fucking dare.

She reached down and grabbed the wire with her teeth.

Don't you FUCKING dare!

And unceremoniously pulled it out before quickly leaving the room.

YOU CRAZY BITCH!!! Immediately, air stopped flowing through the tube. With my throat blocked off by the now useless hunk of plastic, I had no way to get air.

I panicked. Clumsy, half-dead arms flailed lazily above me, and after a moment of fumbling I managed to wrap my stiff zombie-fingers around the tube. Then, I pulled.

The pain was insane. A sharp, burning pain filled my throat, and the tube wrenched out of my mouth by half an inch. Oh, fuck me... I was already seeing stars. My chest burned, urging me on. So I pulled again. Another flare of agony, another inch of slimy tube. And again. I gagged against the intrusion, and had the wonderful opportunity to feel stomach-acid on what I'm sure was quite a few tears in my throat. Finally, with one last wrenching tug, my airway was clear.

"FUCK!" I shouted hoarsely, coughing. My mouth tasted coppery, and when I looked down, the white sheet covering my body was speckled with red. "I swear... as soon as I get the fuck out of this bed, I'm going to find you...I'm going to PUNCH you...and then, just for the Hell of it, I'm going to FUCK! YOUR! FACE!" Something shifted on the other side of the room, but I ignored it.

In less than a minute, the same nurse Nurse Sweetheart? returned, eyes wide and mouth hanging open.

"Y-y...you...y-you...al..."

"Use your words, sweetheart." I growled, scowling as much as I could scowl at the stupid, stupid pony. "I, I, I, I what?"

"You're alive?!" She blurted, somehow growing even paler. "You were paralyzed! You were in a coma!"

"And I got better." I coughed out a small spray of blood to prove it. "Now, on to more important matters: You tried to kill me. In my home country, if you try to kill someone, we kill you back. So you better have a Goddamn good explanation." I raised an eyebrow at the struck dumb mare. "Well? SPEAK!"

"I was just following orders!" She responded, voice shaky. She was shaking so hard she could barely keep on her hooves. I did not feel sorry for her.

"That didn't work for the Nazis, and it won't work for you." I ignored her confused look. "Now...I want to have a little chat with the good doctor." And oh, the things we'll talk about...

Taking any excuse to run away, the nurse took off.

Five minutes later, a tan stallion in a little doctor's coat walked in with a practiced, neutral expression. "You wished to see me?"

"Yeah, actually I did." I sat up against the headboard, glaring fucking longswords at him. "Why don't you tell me what the Hell happened, and while we're at it why you tried to have me killed." I let the sheet drop down to my lap. "And if you don't talk, I swear to God I'll throw my colostomy bag at you." THAT got a rise out of him.

"No...no need for that." He cleared his throat, shuffling awkwardly on his hooves. I don't care how close they are to fuzzy little Hitlers, that will always be cute. "Fluttershy said you were having some kind of...'episode', and she gave you a sedative to relax you."

I stared at him incredulously. "That makes no fucking sense. Last thing I remember I was with Pinkie Pie. I've never even spoken to Fluttershy!"

He carried on anyway. "That was seven days ago. It turns out she gave you enough tranquilizer to kill several ponies. You went into cardiac arrest, fell into a coma, and haven't shown any sign of improvement until...just now."

I held my arms out to my sides. "Surprise, motherfucker. I've been awake for three days." And dropped them. "Now...I'm awake, I'm not dying, and I have a fucking hole in my side with shit coming out. You're the doctor. I'm the patient. Fix it."

"Three d...that's impossible. You didn't move, you didn't breathe for yourself, everything pointed to you being in a coma!" And there's that look of confusion.

"Don't care. Fix. Now."

"...You've just woken up from a coma. I'd like to give you at least twenty-four hours before putting you under anesthesia." I narrowed my eyes. He gave a nervous grin. "Just a precaution...Don't want to end up actually killing you, do we?"

I sighed and shrugged. "Fine. Whatever. But I'm not gonna sit in this damn bed for the next twenty-four hours. As soon as I get my legs moving, I'm gonna use them. Understand?"

He nodded and turned to leave.

"And where's my cloak?!"

Rainbow Dash laid in her bed, trembling and keeping her eyes shut as tightly as she could. He's here, he's here, he's here, he's here...

Author's Note

I promise, Jason will confront Rainbow NEXT chapter.

And it will be GLORIOUS.

Chapter 37: Remember this Moment

Remember this Moment

Okay...let's give this another shot. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, easing myself onto them. My knees buckled, shaking violently for a moment before I managed to force myself into a stand.

Oh, fuck the Hell yes... I grinned madly, looking around. "It feels great to be back!"

(One week after Jason's admittance to the hospital)

Fluttershy and Twilight walked towards the hospital, Spike riding atop Twilight's back. "You don't have to come with me if you don't want to..." The pegasus half-whispered, reluctant to break the awkward silence.

"The best way to get over an irrational fear is exposure to whatever triggers it," Twilight responded clinically, as if quoting a book. "If I can prove to myself that he's not a monster, there'll be no reason to fear him. If he's unconscious, I should be able to get near him without...regressing." She muttered the last word as if it was painful to say, only perking up when Spike patted her withers in support.

"That's very brave, Twilight...I don't know if I'd be able to face something I'm scared of like that." Fluttershy trembled, gulping. "Like dragons..."

"You dealt just fine with that dragon a few years ago," Twilight responded, eyebrow raised in confusion. "You're still scared?"

"That was special. I saw him bullying you girls and I just...snapped." Fluttershy looked away, a troubled look on her face. "I don't wanna ever do that again."

"Well, pony-eating monster or not, Jason's no dragon," Twilight reasoned, "and he's been unconscious for a week. He's as harmless right now as he's ever gonna be."

"Ohh, but what if he never wakes up? The poor thing's been treated just terribly, and I just hurt him even more!" Fluttershy's voice rose with her anxiety, until she stopped walking altogether. "I poisoned him and he's gonna die and it'll be all my fault!" She plopped to the ground, forelegs covering her head and mane splayed out on the dirt.

"...Maybe that's not such a bad thing," Twilight mumbled under her breath.

"Twilight!" Spike shouted, an angry and troubled look in his eye.

"Just hear me out!" Twilight exclaimed, forelegs raised defensively. "Even if Jason fully recovers...what are the chances of him having anything even close to a normal life?" She lowered her ears, eyes drifting to the ground. "Just face it...after three years, nopony will accept him. And after the way he acted the last couple times I've been around him, I don't think he wants to keep going...Maybe what Fluttershy did was a kindness."

The mare in question sniffled, pulling herself to her hooves. "I don't wanna talk about this anymore..."

I walked through the hall, my sheet wrapped around my waist and my cloak hanging around my shoulders. The hospital sheets were less than half the size of my royal toga, but I'd still managed to fashion a crude pouch for the colostomy and catheter bags. The latter held some troubling news: the small bit of urine in the bag held a distinctly red color.

No...No no no no, God, you've fucked me over at every turn so far, do NOT give me this!

Don't think about it.

I wandered the empty halls, searching for the exit. I willed my heart to slow, trying to force my suspicions from my head. As such, I nearly walked into somepony.

"Sorry," I muttered, not bothering to look down before trying to walk around them. I made it four steps before something slammed into my back and wrapped around my waist in a crushing grip. "FUCK!" I nearly fell over, looking over my shoulder to see what had attacked me. "Fluttershy? The fuck?"

"You're alive!" She squealed, her muzzle digging into my back. "You're awake!"

"Uhh...yeah. I guess I am." This was unbelievably awkward. "So...I hear you poisoned me?" Aaand I just made it MORE awkward.

"It was an accident." That voice was familiar...I turned back to face the mare it came from, my expression turning neutral.

"Twilight." Okay, look around for an escape route, but don't make it obvious.

"She meant to calm you down, not poison you. It was a mistake." Twilight insisted, staying remarkably civil. What're you playing at...?

"I heard I was pumped with enough tranquilizer to kill a few ponies."

"Four."

"My point exactly." I nodded, arms crossed. "So Doctor Horse wasn't lying." I'd read his nametag. Fucking pony names...

"Charlie's the best doctor in Ponyville," Twilight said, "he wouldn't lie to a patient.

Charlie Horse? Seriously, fucking...Charlie Horse? That's hilarious.

"Right...So!" I clapped my hands, leaving them together. "How can I help you?"

"Twilight wanted to study you so she'd stop being such a crazy-pony." Oh hey, Spike was here.

"Spike!" Twilight groaned, before sighing in frustration. "That's...not wholly inaccurate. But since you're awake, maybe I could interview you instead?"

"Seriously? ...Fine." Not like I had anything better to do. "Your place or mine?"

I sat in the library, on a stool that only came halfway up my shin. I rested my chin on my knees, staring flatly at Twilight. "Well?"

She cleared her throat, shuffling through a few pieces of paper. "Alright...first, what does your...diet usually consist of?"

"Seriously? That's what you're worried about?" Fucking ponies... I sighed and tried to formulate a response. "Humans can eat pretty much anything we like. Fruits, vegetables, nuts, meat, fish..." I shrugged. "We each have our preferences. Personally, I could eat Italian every day. Fucking love pasta."

Twilight shuddered, licking her lips. "And...where do you get your meat?"

"Chicken, turkey, pretty much any large bird." Twilight looked simultaneously relieved and sickened. "Cow, pig, some people eat sheep. Pretty much anything that doesn't talk." And now it was just sickened.

"What do you mean 'doesn't talk'?!" Twilight shouted, shooting to her hooves. "Cows are just as intelligent as ponies, what kind of mon-"

"In your world, yes." I held up a hand, silencing the ranting mare. "Which is exactly why I haven't tried eating any here. In my world, humans are the only intelligent species. Cows, pigs, sheep, even horses and ponies are about as smart there as the average doorknob." I would've gone with 'sapient', but since the word came from 'homo-sapiens', I doubted they used it.

"You mean sapient?" Fuck you too, Twilight.

I sighed and ran my hand down my face. "Yes, Twilight, 'sapient'." I raised an eyebrow. "That word comes from the scientific name for humans, how do you even have it?"

"Sapiens Equus Minisculus, the ancient Equestrian name for ponies." Twilight muttered, visibly trying to calm herself down.

"Breathe, Twilight." I moved to stand, but she shrieked and shot into the air, hovering by the ceiling. I slowly sat back down, and after a couple minutes so did she.

"Maybe we should move on with the interview..." She muttered, gathering her tossed about papers in her magic. "Next is...I hear you talk about somepony named 'God' a lot. Is she your version of Celestia?"

I openly laughed. "No, no, not even close. God's just an imaginary creator of the world. Or at least if he is real, he's been telling me to go fuck myself for the last few years." I shrugged. "I just say it because it feels good to blame something other than myself."

"Odd...I'd never talk about Celestia like that." Twilight thought out loud. "You called it a 'he'. So your species follows a male leader?"

"I just told you, God isn't real. But yeah, most leaders in human society are men. Or were, at least. Women are starting to catch up."

"So you're patriarchal?" I nodded. "And what about your mating habits, do you form herds, or just get together during mating-season?"

I blinked. What... I cleared my throat and continued. "Most humans like to think we're monogamous and mate for life, but it usually doesn't happen. We get distracted easily." I shrugged. "When a man or woman finds out their lover's been unfaithful, it usually means the end of the relationship." I chuckled bitterly. "If they get married before it happens, the woman gets to take the man's house and half his stuff."

"...Uh huh...did you ever have a...lover?"

I stood and made for the door. "I'm done here."

"Wait!" The door glowed in a magenta aura, and I heard the lock click into place. I turned to glare at her, my cloak beginning to shift in an invisible breeze. For a moment I was a bit confused at the suddenly animated garment, but a faint buzzing, scratching in the back of my mind reminded me to not think about it.

Everything is fine.

"You do realize that you're locked in here with me, not the other way around."

"Just answer the question, then you can leave." Twilight pressed, glancing between me and the cloak. "Did you have a lover?"

I closed my eyes and sighed, slumping slightly. "Yeah...I did."

Click.

Without another word, I walked through the open door and out of the library. Hopefully for good.

Once back in the hospital, Nurse Redheart who I still have yet to skullfuck led me back to my room. Once inside, she closed the door without a word, leaving me with just my thoughts and my neighbor.

"It's a Hell of a thing, ain't it?" I said, looking at the curtain hiding them from view. The heart-monitor was beeping too quickly for them to be asleep. I still didn't expect a response, but having a captive audience was better than talking to myself. "Spend your whole life getting shat on, fucked over, and beat up, then what does life decide to throw at you? Cancer." I chuckled to myself, barely stopping the laughter from escalating. "Motherfucking cancer! And you know the funniest part? Even if you fucking ponies have some magical cancer-cure, I'll bet money that I'll never see it. Just one last great 'fuck you' from Equestria."

I knew what that ache in my abdomen was. I knew why I was pissing blood. I knew why I was craving sleep after a fucking week-long coma.

I'd gone through it all before.

"Well fuck you too, Equestria!" I shouted, eyes wide and grin manic. "Fuck Celestia, fuck Luna, fuck Twilight, fuck Pinkie, Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, and fuck Rainbow Dash!" I giggled, feeling something wet roll down my cheek. "I don't even know you...but you know what?" I threw back the curtain, "fuck you too!"

Oh...ohohohohohoooo what have we here? "...Hello, Rainbow."

Rainbow Dash laid in the bed, squirming as far away from me as she could. A respirator was hooked up to an endotracheal breathing-tube like my own, and her neck was wrapped in a brace. I chuckled darkly, soaking in the feeling of opportunity.

"You know...I think I know why you did what you did," I started, tracing a finger down the hose leading to her breathing tube. "Being up here, out of reach of the little pissants down below, powerless to stop me...it is empowering." I leaned down until I was right by her face, my mouth by her ear. "I could do absolutely anything to you...anything I wanted." My hand clamped down on the hose, cutting off her oxygen.

I held it for several seconds, watching Rainbow start to panic and shake against the mattress. Her chest heaved as she tried to take in air that just wasn't there.

I let go. Rainbow took in lungfulls of life-giving oxygen, quickly settling down. She continued to tremble slightly, looking up at me with a terrified, confused expression. I scowled. "So, given that, do you know why you're going to live?"

She tried to shake her head. It was almost imperceptible, but I caught it. I grabbed her mane and hissed, "because I'm not like you." I sat up, glaring balefully at the terrified, bedridden pegasus. "Now... I want you to remember this moment. I want you to think long and hard about all the things you've put me through these last three years. I want you to think about all the things I could do to you...And I want you to thank me for not being sadistic enough to give you exactly what you deserve."

My expression morphed into a sickeningly-sweet smile, and I gave her a quick scratch behind the ear. I turned and walked back to my own bed, pulling the curtain closed before climbing in. "Sweet dreams, Rainbow Dash."

Author's Note

Much thanks to Asmodaeus for his contribution to this chapter.

Chapter 38: Dammit Twilight...

Dammit Twilight...

I woke up feeling no more rested than I did when I went to sleep. Nor was I in the same position, meaning someone had moved me. I never moved when I was asleep.

I'd been told on more than one occasion it was creepy.

I groaned, rubbing at my eye and popping my neck, Turning to the side, I— "GYAH! Twilight, the fuck?!" —came face to face with a grinning purple muzzle.

She scowled, snorting. "This is a hospital, Jason. You can't scream like that, you'll disturb the other patients!"

I chuckled. "Well I am pretty disturbing, but HEY! Don't change the subject." I glared, causing Twilight to go crosseyed for some reason.

"But...I didn't say anything..."

"Don't question my logic. Why were you watching me sleep?" I sat up, arms crossed. "That's seriously creepy."

She shook her head, righting her eyes before giving a frustrated huff. "It's not creepy, it's science. How else am I supposed to study human sleeping habits?"

Seriously. Fucking. Creepy.

"Whatever. So what's on today's agenda?" I hopped out of bed, quickly wrapping my cloak around my body. All three of my bags hung freely underneath, but hopefully two of them would be gone before nightfall. "Improving public relations? More questions? Burning Equestria to the ground? Getting me some proper clothes?"

"What was that?" She asked, looking genuinely scared.

"Getting some clothes. Do you think Rarity will let me in if you come with me?" I finished tying the cloak around me, tossing the hood up over my head. Twilight's eyes immediately widened.

"Take that off!" She shrieked, wings fluffed out.

I raised my eyebrow. "You know, you're the second mare to say that."

"That cloak's been enchanted, who knows what it's doing to you?!" Huh. She seemed really rattled by something. Did ponies go into heat in the Fall? That would explain it.

"I'll take it off as soon as I have something to put on under it. A shirt, some pants? Shit, I'd settle for a kilt." I tossed the hood back. Maybe that would stop her mammary calamity.

She seemed relieved about something, but no less inquisitive. "What's a kilt?"

I gestured with my hands. "Traditional clothing of Scotland. A long bit of pleated fabric a human wears around the waist, it usually hangs around knee-level."

"You mean like a skirt?"

I immediately ceased all movement, and gave Twilight my flattest, coldest glare. "I kil't the last person who called it a skirt."

Twilight looked taken aback, seriously terrified. It was adorable. I snorted and giggled, ruining the moment. "I'm just kidding, Jesus Christ! You need to lighten up..."

"So you said it was the traditional clothing of Scotland..." She began, "are you from Scotland?"

"Pfft, Hell no!" I grinned, "shit just looks cool."

"Pants, pants, pants, pants, oh Twilight, you have no idea how long I've missed wearing pants!" I pranced down the street, a clearly embarrassed Twilight plodding along beside me.

"Calm down, ponies are staring! And we're not even there yet!" She swatted at me with a wing, which barely grazed my arm. It was easily ignored.

"Twilight..." I crouched down in front of her, until I was nose-to-nose. "I'm talking to a winged purple unicorn that's talking back. I'm in a town full of colorful talking ponies, most of whom barely come up to my belly-button. I've been beaten and thrown out of every restaurant, hotel, and store by creatures I'm pretty sure I could punt over a tall fence." I smiled and patted her head. "Do you seriously think I have a single shred of dignity left? If I wasn't completely nuts when I came here, I sure as hell am now."

"Well I'm a Princess. I need to keep my public image, so calm down." She narrowed her eyes at the pat, pouting until her lower lip pressed further than her nose. She cantered past me, head high and wings flared.

"Mememememememe," I mocked in a high, nasally voice as I followed. Just what I needed...a prissy pony princess. "Aren't you supposed to be the humble, horribly awkward one?"

"What?!" Twilight shouted, dropping all sense of decorum.

I held out one hand and knocked off my index finger. "Celestia is the pure, perfect one," and my middle finger, "Luna is the one that tries to be tough and mysterious but just turns out adorable," ring finger, "Cadence is the ultimate forbidden fruit: Drop-dead gorgeous, kind, and married. That leaves you as the adorkable one. You seduce everyone with your awkwardness."

"I don't seduce anypony!" She hissed, strands of her mane splitting with the sound of snapping violin-strings.

I snorted, covering my mouth with one hand. "Well maybe you should start, you look tense."

"UUUUUUUUGH!!!" She groaned wordlessly, slamming her wings to her sides. "You are impossible! Just...follow me, and please be quiet!"

A quick mock-salute later, and I did as ordered. "Yes ma'am!"

A knock at Rarity's door caused the lounging mare to snort herself awake, mumbling to herself. Slipping off her chaise, she wiped the half-dried drool from her cheek and moved towards the door. "Terribly sorry, but I'm currently closed. Would you mind coming back tomorrow?"

"Rarity, it's me!" Twilight? "It's an emergency, can you please let me in?"

Rarity shook her mane into place, throwing a fluffy white bathrobe over her body and opening the door with her magic. "Come in!" Twilight hopped in, after which Rarity slammed the door shut.

"My fucking nose!"

"What was that?" Rarity swiveled her head around, ears twitching.

"Nothing, nothing!" Twilight grinned, her cheeks tight and strained. If Rarity noticed, she didn't comment.

"So, what's the emergency?" Rarity asked absently, "would you like some tea? I have Earl Neigh, Jasmine, Trottingham Black..." A quick look at Twilight's frazzled state, and she shook her head. "Chamomile...definitely Chamomile."

"No time...Rarity, can I ask you a teensy, itty bitty favor?" Twilight asked, eyes shining and grin strained.

"Now, what kind of friend would I be if I turned away my dear friend in her hour of need?" Rarity set a kettle on her stove, turning back to Twilight with a dainty smile.

"Well...You're the only pony I know with the skill for this, and I'd hate to take advantage of your generosity-"

"Darling, if I didn't know better I'd say you were trying to butter me up. I already said I'd help any way I can, did I not?" Rarity scolded lightly, her smile showing it was all in jest.

Twilight gulped, poking at the floor with a forehoof. "Right...well, I...Uhh...Jason, can you come in?" She called out, looking everywhere but at her friend.

"What." Rarity stated, both expression and tone flat. The doorknob turned, and Jason stepped through the door, stooped slightly to accommodate the small entry. "What."

"I need some good clothes, and some idiot accused you of being the best." He muttered, his previous lighthearted, immature demeanor nowhere to be found.

"I know it's asking a lot," Twilight started, "but...Jason, what happened to your nose?!"

He was glaring at nothing in particular, constantly wiping away a small trickle of blood from his red, swelling nose. "Some crazy bitch slammed her door in my face."

"Language!" Rarity squawked, a hoof to her chest and a scandalized expression on her face.

"Well, whoever it was, I'm sure they're very sorry." Twilight hissed through clenched teeth, her forced smile twisted almost out of recognition.

"Meh, I'll get her back later." He turned to Rarity. "So can you do it?"

Rarity forced a smile eerily similar to Twilight's, her cheek and both eyes twitching with the strain. "Any friend of Twilight's is a...friend...of mine. Now quick, off the carpet!" She ushered Jason through the boutique, towards a well-hidden bathroom in the back of the building. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to get blood out of carpet?" She shuddered, using her magic to shove a wadded-up ball of toilet-paper into Jason's hand. "Now hold that to your nose until the bleeding stops."

Jason silently complied, wincing at the pressure. "At least it's not broken..." I think.

Rarity gave a vague hum of agreement before asking, "so, what did you have in mind?"

"Just a couple shirts, nothing fancy." Jason tapped his chin with his free hand, narrowing his eyes in thought. "And some-"

"Skirts!" Twilight blurted, a positively evil grin on her furry mug. "Pleated, isn't that what you said, Jason?"

"Bitch, I will eat-"

"Language!" Rarity reprimanded, snorting and giggling. "I'm sure I can come up with something..." And with that, she was gone.

Jason slowly turned to Twilight, a perfectly neutral expression on his face. "I hate you...so much right now."

"Somepony needed to teach you.," Twilight snickered, following Rarity.

Author's Note

And so Twilight has begun escorting Jason through Ponyville, hopefully to start turning his reputation around. Will it work? Is he sane enough to handle it?

Will Jason ever get his pants?

Will the ride ever end?

And mood-swings!

Chapter 39: I Fucking Hate You

I Fucking Hate You

I stared blankly at the pink monstrosity being waved in my face. "Seriously? No. Get that shit outta my face."

"But you haven't even tried it yet!"

"Get it away or I'll burn it." I replied, my hands twitching. I had to force them to my sides to keep from choking a bitch. "I. Will. Burn. It."

Rarity scoffed, rolling her eyes. "I gave you what you wanted, and you threaten me? If it wasn't for Twilight, I wouldn't even suffer your presence. How you got her of all ponies to sympathize with you is beyond me."

I blinked, raising an eyebrow. "First of all, that is not what I wanted. Second off, you deliberately try to provoke me, then act surprised when I wanna wreck your shit? How the Hell do you justify that? No." I held up a hand, turning away. "Fuck it. I don't care. I'm too tired to deal with your shit."

"Well if you're going to insult me, then go!" She spat, huffing and clip-clopping out of the room.

I snorted. "Gladly." I tossed my hood up and walked out of that eyesore of a house.

I don't know what I expected.. I was glad for the hood obscuring a good deal of my peripheral vision, because I could feel the stares as I walked down the street. I pulled the hood tighter over my head and quickened my pace, grumbling to myself. Fuck Twilight. Fuck Rarity. Fuck Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy. Fuck everyone. I'm done. Next pony to look at me wrong gets wrecked.

My vision went white with a sharp pain in the back of my head, causing me to stumble and double over. I reached to feel the back of my head, and pulled away with a bloody hand. Speak of the devil...

"What'd you do to Princess Twilight?!"

It really says something that I can immediately recognize the feeling of being hit in the head with a big rock. By my estimation, probably a little smaller than my fist. A quick glance behind me confirmed my guess.

"HEY! I'm talking to you!"

I bent down and picked the rock up, the gathering crowd shuffling away from a mare with a bunch of grapes for a cutie mark. I scowled under the shade of my hood when she looked around to see herself singled out.

"Ya know, I really thought I'd be angrier about getting a rock thrown at my head." I growled, the back of my head throbbing painfully. "So either I'm just past getting angry at what you little monsters do to me, or I'm so unbelievably pissed that I don't even feel it anymore. But right now, that doesn't matter." I took a deep breath, reeled my arm back, and threw the rock as hard as I could at the stupid cunt. Who she was didn't matter. What did matter was the immensely satisfying wet thunk it made when it hit her right between the eyes. Maybe even a crunch...did it break something?

From the way she went down, it looked like it. Good. Now think about what you've done.

"Now..." I sucked in air through my teeth, putting on a winning smile and clapping my hands together to address the stunned crowd. "How can I help you?"

I grinned when a blue unicorn mare's horn lit up, feeling a faint tingling but nothing more. I popped my knuckles and started walking towards her, chuckling. "Oh look, a volunteer..."

This was bad. This was very, very bad. "Rarity, I'm your friend." Twilight started calmly, a hoof to her forehead. "So I mean this in the nicest way possible...what the FUCK were you thinking?!" She shrieked, borrowing an oft used word from Jason's vocabulary. Somehow it just felt...right. "No...no, it wasn't just your fault..." Before Rarity could interject, Twilight wailed, "you were just going along with what I was doing! I should've known joking like that would be more than he could handle..."

"Twilight, dear, it was bound to happen sooner or later." Rarity tried to soothe her friend, wrapping a foreleg around Twilight's withers. "Some creatures just can't be tamed. Frankly, I'm amazed you got this far!"

"It's not about taming him, it's about making him feel more comfortable." Twilight mumbled, rubbing a hoof against her temple. "Rarity, tell me...exactly what has he ever really done?"

"Tell me you're joking...He almost killed Rainbow Dash! She's still in the hospital!" Rarity blinked, staring incredulously at her friend. "You did know that...right? Twilight..." Rarity's eyes narrowed, and she seemed to almost stalk closer like a cat. "Have you even visited her?"

"I...I've had other things on my mind. I meant to, but..." Twilight shook her head with a forceful sigh. "That's not important! Rainbow attacked Jason first, he was acting in self-defense! Any animal would lash out when cornered like that."

Rarity reeled back as if struck, mouth agape. "I don't believe you! 'Not important'? Twilight, listen to yourself! What's gotten into your head?"

"I...I had an argument with Spike." Twilight muttered, deflating somewhat. "He made some very good points. Things I hadn't even considered..." She shook her head, glaring Rarity dead in the eyes. "Right now, Jason needs help more than anypony. You have an eye for detail, so I know you saw it. He tries to act calm, but he's splitting at the seams. Probably has been for a long time. If it doesn't stop soon, I think something terrible might happen."

"Princess Twilight!" A frantic pounding on the door punctuated the shriek, breaking some of the tension. A brief flare of Twilight's magic later, and the door flew open. "Something terrible's happened!"

"Daisy?" Twilight rolled her eyes, snorting in irritation. "Sure...what is it this time?" Along with her sisters, this one had a habit of exaggeration. It had been getting on Twilight's nerves for a good while.

"It's the human...it's gone on a rampage!" Daisy almost shrieked, shuffling in place in a panic.

"Jason can barely walk without falling over, let alone hurt somepony. what harm could he possibly do?" Twilight raised an eyebrow, wings fluttering agitatedly.

"He killed Berry right in the middle of the road like it was nothing! Please please please please do something!"

Twilight narrowed her eyes skeptically, before nodding with an annoyed sigh. "Fine. Lead the way, Daisy."

"Twilight," Rarity called just as she was walking out the door. She waited until her friend was looking back at her, an exhausted expression on her face. "You're wrong...about Jason needing help more than us."

Twilight closed her eyes, a bit of an edge in her tone. "I'm wrong about a lot of things today."

"We're falling apart, Twilight!" Rarity shouted, eyes glistening. "Applejack hasn't visited in over a week. Rainbow Dash is in the hospital. Fluttershy won't leave her house, and nopony's even seen Pinkie Pie in days. And you're just going to ignore us to chase after some monster?"

They stood there for a tense moment, pleading blue staring into exhausted magenta, before Twilight broke the stare-down by turning away. "I'll be back, Rarity." With a flare of magic, she shut the door.

Rarity sighed, her head hanging almost to the floor.

I was in the Everfree, running as best I could through the thick trees. Evolution was on my side, allowing me better maneuverability than my pursuer.

My knuckles were split, I'm pretty sure my left wrist was sprained, and I had several new bruises on my thighs and torso. But I was still in better condition than the ponies I'd left on the road. I smirked. Wonder if he'll ever fly again? I pushed the thought from my mind, focusing on avoiding the trees. I'd already lost some ground. I could almost feel the stallion's breath on my back. Come on, he'll back off soon. Ponies hate it in here.

Without warning, I was face-down in half-rotten leaves and God knows what else. My right foot was caught in a tree-root, and there was a hoof smacking down right where that rock had hit. I grunted and rolled over, sending him off his hooves. He managed to get up faster than me, and pinned me to a tree with a vicious headbutt.

I shouted through my clenched teeth, my back scraping along the rough bark. I slammed a bloody fist into his eye, feeling a sickening give. He screamed, backpedaling and squeezing his eyes closed. "You bucker! I'll-"

I tackled him without a word, straddling his belly. I wrapped my hands around his neck, bared my teeth, and squeezed.

"You couldn't just leave me alone, could you?!" I screamed, keeping my eyes screwed shut. "I just wanted to be LEFT ALONE! I never wanted this!" I'm pretty sure I was crying. "I fucking HATE you! Every last one of you!"

I don't know how long I sat there. My arms were stiff and burning from exertion, and I could hardly feel my fingers. The struggling had stopped after a few minutes, but I refused to let up. Or open my eyes.

I gasped once the burning in my chest let me know I had been holding my breath, peeling my hands away and rolling off the pony. I opened my eyes, looking straight up. I fucking hate you...

I staggered to my feet, finally taking a look at my assailant. The first thing I noticed was how still he was. No errant twitching, no rising chest, and no blinking. The next things that caught my eye were his. Wide open, almost out of their sockets, and bloodshot. I shuddered.

My eyes drifted to his neck. Ugly, discolored imprints were on either side, and as I saw them, I remembered the feel of it between my hands. I fell to my knees and heaved, nothing coming up. "O-oh God...Oh God..."

He deserved it.

I shook my head, standing and walking deeper into the Everfree. He deserved it. I was defending myself. I did nothing wrong. I could say it, I just couldn't make myself believe it.

Oh God, I'm a murderer...

Chapter [N/C]40: Who would Believe?

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Chapter [N/C]41: Christmas Special (Non-Canon)

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Chapter [N/C]42: Mental Fever

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Chapter 40: Killer In The Mirror

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Chapter 41: Out of Options

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Ending Δ

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Ending Σ

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Ending Ω

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Chapter 1: Anxiety

Author's Note

This is a canon sequel to "Ending", a brilliant one-shot by MisterBlonde. I highly recommend checking it out to understand what is going on.

I do not own My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic or any of it's characters or settings. I do not own the character Jason Wright or the story he takes place in. This is purely writing for writing's sake.

Anxiety

I don't know how long I was out. I had expected to never regain consciousness at all, or at the very most wake up in Hell. Judging by the massive ache in my neck, it was the latter. I screwed my eyes shut tight as I could, trying to alleviate some of the pain. The featureless white of before had been replaced by the harsh glare of fluorescent light filtering through my eyelids, giving me the beginnings of a headache. I dared not open them.

Lastly, a faint beeping and murmuring came to my senses. In my disorientated state, I couldn't place their origin.

"—patient is waking—"

"Quick, get—sedative!"

My consciousness faltered, and I knew nothing.

Again, my peace was ruined by a harsh fluorescent glare and an incessant beeping. This time, however, I chanced a crack of my eyelids. The blinding white sent burning nails through my skull, but faded to a bearable brightness within a couple moments. First thing I noticed? I was in a hospital. Immediately, my heart fell.

I'd failed. I was still stuck in Hell. Unbidden, a choked sob forced its way out of my abused throat, sending a white-hot lance of pain through my neck.

"I think he's waking up..."

My eyes turned to look at the source of the voice, but the farm-pony was still out of view. I tried to turn my head, but was immediately stopped by a jolt of pain and a large obstruction keeping me facing forward. A glance down confirmed my suspicion. I was wearing a neck-brace.

My observations were interrupted by an orange equine face coming into view, bloodshot and puffy eyes giving her a miserable appearance. I didn't respond. I couldn't, if making any sound at all was agonizing.

Why was Applejack here? She was the most aggressive of the ponies who antagonized me, aside from Rainbow. She had no reason to be anywhere near me, let alone at my bedside.

My thoughts were once again broken by the clearing of a stallion's throat. "You're lucky to be alive, Mr. Wright. Any longer, and a crushed larynx would've been the least of your problems."

I inwardly snorted at the 'lucky' part.

"We've run several scans, and there doesn't seem to be any brain-damage. It may take some time, but we expect you to make a full recovery." The doctor immediately headed for the door, anxious to get away. For a moment, I wondered how they had found doctors willing to heal me. For an even briefer instant, my thoughts wandered to how I hadn't been 'accidentally' disposed of. I was in no position to stop it, and from my experience I wouldn't have expected any better.

My eyes drifted back towards the orange mare. She stared for several minutes, her expression going from something like pity to a poorly-masked revulsion. Finally, she sighed and sat down.

"...Why?"

It took my sluggish mind a moment to process the question, and even then I couldn't vocalize a response. I wish I had learned sign-language when I was on earth, but even then what good would it have done? They don't even have fingers, so the chances of them understanding me—

I tried and failed to shake my head. My mind was growing fuzzy and flighty, wandering even worse than before. The pain in my neck seemed far away, hardly registering to my addled mind. I felt almost...giddy. God I love morphine.

Letting my mind wander from one nonsensical idea to the next, my hand absently reached for Applejack's ear. She immediately lurched away with an audible shudder, but gradually came back. She still seemed incredibly tense though, barely tolerating the contact. Not that I cared, I was high as a kite.

I must have dozed off without realizing it, because when I woke up I was alone. And I had to go to the bathroom. Badly. I gave a hiss of pain as I sat up, the brace taking most of the strain off my neck. God I felt horrible. Shakily, my legs creeped off the side of the too-small bed, and I winced as my feet touched the ground.

Ice-cold. Of course, why would it be anything else? It took several moments for me to feel steady enough to stand, and several more to take a step. It felt like I hadn't walked in days. Actually...I probably hadn't. I have no idea how long I'd been out, and none of the ponies were willing to tell me.

My thoughts wandering off without me once again, I hardly noticed when I had made it halfway across the room. The only thing that stopped me was the sharp sting of a needle in my arm being jostled, causing me to let out a near-soundless gasp. I looked down to the tube, following it up to a wheeled bag-stand with a nearly-empty bag of what I assumed was painkiller. I inwardly groaned as I turned back to retrieve the stand, my shaky steps costing me precious seconds my bladder was insisting I couldn't spare. Silently opening the door, I peeked out into the dimly-lit hallway.

There was no one there. It must've been night; with no windows in my room, I'd lost track of day and night. My lips twitched into a faint smile for the first time in months. This should be easy.

Nothing was ever easy. Why could nothing ever be easy? I had found a young white-coated mare with her pale-pink mane done up in a neat bun, sitting behind the help-desk. The plain nametag read "Nurse Redheart",

Now, since I had been residing in this hospital for any number of days, I'd figured the staff would be used to me. I couldn't have been more right. Nurse Redheart hardly flinched at all when I came into view, but still refused to look directly at me until I approached the desk. It was clear she was uncomfortable, but...I really needed to take a piss.

"C-can I help you?" She asked, her eyes flitting from me to the hospital entrance. Her legs were shuffling on her chair, and it was clear she was contemplating bolting. I briefly felt a spike of guilt.

"...Athr-m." I croaked, wincing at the feel of sandpaper and nails in my throat. Redheart flinched at the harsh grunt as well, recoiling further at the pained grimace I was wearing. "B...bathroom."
The nurse silently pointed a foreleg down the far hall, to which I grunted a thank you. I hobbled along, trying to give the pony as wide a berth as possible. I pushed the door in and stumbled through, seeing the most wonderful thing I’d seen in three years. A real, honest-to-God running toilet.

I closed my eyes in relief, feeling better than I had since I had woken up. A silent sigh escaped my lips, and I prepared to return to my room. Shaking myself and righting the patchwork hospital-gown I was fitted with, I turned to leave and…Oh…Oh God. Was that ME?!

I hesitantly walked closer to the mirror, reflecting the visage of a grimy, bearded wildman. The scraggly, greasy hair on both my scalp and face was ropy and full of debris. My skin, once fair and clear, was deeply tanned and leathery from exposure to the elements. But the worst by far were my eyes. Once sharp and brilliant like twin emeralds, the dull, fearful gaze staring back from the mirror was that of a stranger. A strangled sob tore from my throat, as I hesitantly lifted one hand towards my face. The grubby limb was shaking with terror, and the mirror reflected my fear. It WAS me.

This…this couldn’t be possible. The last time I had seen myself, my hair was cropped short and clean as could be, my face was clean-shaven, and my skin was clear and smooth. This…savage couldn’t be me. But there I was, filthy and caveman-like. There’s no way my family would recognize the scrawny feral man I’d turned into. Looking down at my near-emaciated form, I saw my ‘saving grace’. When I had calculated the height I would drop from when I hanged myself, I had assumed I was still the one-hundred and ninety pound man I was when I’d first come to Equestria. It was supposed to snap my neck, killing me instantly. But I couldn’t have been more than a hundred pounds in my current condition. At the distance I’d fallen, that weight was nowhere near enough to break my neck.

My breath began coming faster, out of my control. In the last…however many days I’d gone from being the village pariah, to attempting suicide, to being cared for (however reluctantly) by the same creatures that had made the last three years of my life a living Hell. I wish I had my family, friends, SOMEONE to comfort me, but I had left them all behind. Willingly. I pounded my fist against the wall, the scream I had intended coming out as a raspy, keening whine. My legs collapsed from under me, and my back impacted the wall. Sliding down to the floor, I held my head in my hands and cried.

Chapter 5: Trauma

Author's Note

I got featured! On my first story!

Thank all of you, it really, really means a lot to me.

Trauma

As usual, the pie was damn good. The glass of fresh-squeezed apple juice was delicious as well, and had quenched a thirst I didn't know I had. But I couldn't enjoy it fully with this eating at me. "Why did you do it?"

Applejack looked up from her own meal to stare at me. "-Oo whaar?" She licked the pie-crumbs off her muzzle and gave a loud belch. In any other situation, I would've laughed. "Pardon. Do what?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but the words were lost to me. I silently and fruitlessly gestured with my hands, flapping my arms about like a lame bird. "Just...this! You saved my life—which I AM grateful for—but you just...don't stop. Don't you hate me? I'm still that same 'freak of nature' I was before I tried hanging myself. Doesn't it...bother you, me being here?" I'd buried most of my anger deep down over the last month. It would've done me no good to lash out while I was healing, but now I couldn't help the edge that crept into my voice. "I can't accept that you just went from hating my guts to trying to coddle me like a baby overnight."

Applejack seemed just as lost for words as I was. Finally, she sighed and pulled the Stetson off her head. "Remember our talk at the hospital?" At my nod, she continued. "When ya told me you were all alone here, it...it got under mah skin. Ah wouldn' wish never seein' yer family again on mah worst enemy. Ma n' Pa still hurt, and Ah've still got Granny, Big Mac and Apple Bloom ta help me cope." The orange mare lowered her head, her ears flopping back. "It got me thinkin'. When Ah saw ya, Ah never really had a reason ta chase ya off. Ya never did nothin' ta me or mah kin. Ah just...acted."

I don't anger easily. But after the last few years, I'd been given plenty reason to be pissed. I stared incredulously at the mare, then scoffed. "And here I thought I'd actually done something to make you hate me. Well, now that I know it was just thoughtless abuse, everything's just hunky-fucking-dory." I stood and started walking towards the door, pushing past the downcast pony. A hoof wrapped around my arm stopped me, but only until I shrugged it off and walked away.

It took me an hour to reach the road back to Ponyville, and another three to reach my old cave. I wrinkled my nose as I entered, the uneven rocky surfaces holding stagnant moisture. I hadn't noticed the smell for years, but the luminescent mushrooms were rancid. The pile of filthy clothing I'd used as a bed these last three years weren't any better, but they were all I had. Taking a seat, I put my head in my hands and took a deep, shuddering breath.

What was that back there? I didn't mean to—well I meant every word of it, but I didn't mean to let it all come out like that. Applejack's guilt was the best chance I had at getting back in a warm bed, and I'd essentially given here a massive 'fuck you'. I drew my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around, resting my chin on my knees and closing my eyes. Applejack used to be my favorite pony. I adored her. I'd wanted to get away from the city since I was a kid, but it had never worked out. Applejack and the rest of the Apple family were a way to live out that fantasy, even if it was romanticized.

I gulped, taking a deep breath to try and get myself under control. Applejack had always been the most painful to be rejected by. Pinkie Pie was bearable, Rainbow's lighting bolts were more annoying and painful than upsetting, and I'd never gone back to Twilight after getting the door slammed in my face. I laid back, trying to force the tears back. I just wanted to sleep.

The first thing I noticed was soreness. A deep soreness, throbbing in my back and limbs. Standing was agonizing, and every limb popped and creaked in protest. Damn I felt old...

Walking out of the cave, I tightened the towel I had wrapped around my waist. I would've preferred my old clothing, but I hadn't seen it since the hospital. Squinting against the light of the sun, I examined my choices. I could return to the farm, visit Ponyville, or take a walk in the Everfree Forest.

Starting off towards the treeline, I gave a slight smile. A nice walk to clear my head would do me wonders. I just hoped I didn't run into any manticores. I'd never seen one up close, and I was perfectly happy to keep it that way.

As soon as I was more than ten feet in, the lighting seemed to shift. From outside, it looked like any other forest. The sunlight shone through in spots, creating beams of light in an otherwise dreary green expanse of vegetation. From the inside, however, there was no light. The trees took on a menacing, hostile appearance, and the air was stifling with humidity and the smell of rotting leaves. It felt like I was trying to walk in water, as if the forest itself was pressing down on me and trying to halt my advance. I kept going because I'm an idiot with a deathwish.

I lost track of time after the first half hour. I'd found and begun following a river so I knew I wasn't going in circles, but I could've sworn I'd passed this same group of trees at least four times. Thankfully, I hadn't run into any animals out here. I was beginning to think I should start looking for a path, but I had no idea where to start—

...Huh. That was odd. I could've sworn there was a river there a second ago. Maybe the forest was messing with my head. To my side, I saw a well-worn path, even and wide enough to walk on comfortably. Shrugging, I stepped onto the new path, and...nothing happened.

I continued on down the path, when I began to feel a bit...dizzy. My chest burned, and I felt almost weightless. I shook my head, trying to shake off whatever was affecting me, but it failed. I opened my mouth to speak, but as soon as I did I felt water rush in and down my throat. My eyes widened, and whatever bewitchment I had fallen under lifted.

I was under water. The water was murky, and I couldn't see the top. Thrashing about, I began panicking. The current was carrying me along, bashing me against rocks and debris, a long, thick tentacle wrapped around my torso—

Okay. NOW I was panicking. I shrieked under the water, all my remaining air bubbling up to the surface as I struggled and thrashed about. It did me no good, as I felt the massive tentacle tug me along, and out of the water. I gasped for air, scratching and pulling at the scaly limb around me.

"Sir! Sir, would you PLEASE calm down before you scuff my scales?" The inflection of the voice was...well not exactly effeminate, but...let's just call it 'fabulous'. Despite the voice itself being a bit high, it was still undoubtedly masculine. I forced myself to calm down, though my breathing was still out of control, My eyes shot open and I was unbelievably tense, looking at...

Steven Magnet, the river serpent. Of all the characters from the show, this was the one who didn't hate me? I would've laughed if I weren't terrified for my life. "Thank you. Now, what was a little thing like you doing trying to swim in the rapids?" It asked, depositing me on shore.

It took me a few minutes to compose myself, but eventually, I managed to organize my thoughts. "Forest...it-it was playing tricks with my mind." I coughed, doubling over. The serpent rested one arm on the riverbank, dropping his chin down onto his forearm. "Made me think the river was a path."

The serpent made to speak, but was interrupted by the rustle of some brush behind me. I barely turned around in time to see Applejack leap over the bush, Stetson in place and lasso in her jaws. I stared for a moment, unable to think of anything to say. Instead, the purple river-serpent waved enthusiastically. "Helloooo! Is this one yours? I found the poor thing at the bottom of the river, no no, please, don't thank me." He swooped up dramatically, a hand against his forehead. "It was simply the right thing to do, leaving such a poor creature to such a monstrous end would be unthinkable!"

Applejack stared on silently, before cocking one eyebrow. After the serpent had disappeared below the surface, the orange mare stalked up to me with the most rotten glare I'd ever seen. "Ya insult me, run off for the whole day, then when Ah find ya, it's only after ya try drownin' yerself?" As I was still on the ground, it wasn't difficult for her to press her forehead to mine, glaring straight into my eyes. "We're. Leavin'."

Applejack pushed me up and immediately started headbutting me in whatever direction she wanted me to go, shoving me forward again every time I tried to stop. "It was a mistake, the forest—"

"Ah don't wanna hear it."

"But I didn't mean to—"

"Ah said zip it!"

Chapter 19: Flashbacks

Author's Note

Credit to Salsav91 for the lighting idea! I saw it and just HAD to use it...

Flashbacks

Twilight Sparkle was in pain. Light flashed around her, forming chaotic patterns of white and violet as she tumbled through whatever Hell the mirror led to. She could hear a scream through the all-encompassing howling of wind, only a small part of her realizing it was her voice. Her entire body, from her horn to her hooves, felt like it was being crushed and squeezed through a keyhole. Did she even have a horn anymore? She couldn't make sense of anything she felt. Parts moved that shouldn't. Parts that should be mobile were stationary.

It was madness.

Finally, after what felt like hours (or years...or seconds...did time mean anything here?) she was engulfed by a bright light. She felt solid ground beneath her face, and all was blackness.
-----

She awoke slowly, her mind fading in and out of focus for several moments before she'd regained enough sense to sit up. The unicorn brushed some debris from her mane with her fingers—

...

Twilight.exe has stopped responding.

Twilight slowly pulled her arm back, glancing over the alien appendage with a blank, vacant expression. This was new. This was very, very new. Luckily, as the Princess of Friendship and personal protégé of Princess Celestia herself, Twilight knew exactly how to handle the situation.

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" She shrieked, bringing up her other arm, praying at least this one was still familiar.

It wasn't.

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

"Twilight?" A familiar raspy voice asked, clearly hesitant. "Are...you okay?" The ex-mare hardly noticed, continuing to look over and panic at her new body. She gripped one leg at the knee, lifting it up—

Oh Celestia it's not supposed to bend that way IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BEND THAT WAY!

Twilight shuddered and dropped the offending limb, beginning to hyperventilate. Holding one hand to her mouth, a blackness began to creep into the edge of her vision as her stomach twisted and flipped.

"SNAP OUT OF IT!" The voice shouted, two tiny paws holding the girl's head steady. A little purple dog was staring at her, clearly concerned. "Twilight, just calm down...You're just fine. Look, I changed too!" The dog stepped back and did a full spin before sitting down and scratching his ear.

"...Spike?" Twilight ventured, still trembling horribly but visibly calmed down.

"Hah! I knew it, you did freak out!" Rainbow jeered, laughing herself into a full midair flip before wiping her brow.

Twilight glared and huffed at the tomboyish mare. "Well wouldn't you? I told all of you I freaked out!"

"Actually, darling," Rarity ventured, "I believe the words you used were "somewhat perturbed"."

"So what happened next?" Fluttershy whispered, barely audible from the distance she insisted on maintaining from the group. The other five blinked for a moment, apparently startled by the input. Fluttershy had hardly said a word in a week, let alone show genuine interest in something.

"Well..." Twilight began, "After Spike got me calmed down, I started trying to figure out my new body."

"Who-oa-a-AAAH!" Twilight squawked indignantly as she fell on her face for the twelfth time. Grumbling to herself, she pushed herself up onto her hands and knees before shakily standing back up. "Oookay...this isn't so hard."

"Why not walk on all fours?" Spike asked, sitting off to the side with his head on his paws.

Twilight huffed and managed a tiny step, still wobbling and pinwheeling her arms in the air. "Th-this body isn't made for that...the forelegs are too short and weak, and these... things," she wiggled her fingers, "are too delicate for walking on. I'm almost entirely sure I'm supposed to walk on two legs." And then she promptly fell on her face.

"Tell that to the ground." Spike deadpanned, curling up with a yawn. "Wake me up when you figure it out, kay Twilight?"

The girl grumbled and stood back up, trying again.

"Ah hate ta be a stick in th' mud, but can ya fast-forward to the parts that actually matter?" Applejack butted in. The orange mare was borderline glaring at Twilight, rolling her fetlock in a 'get on with it' gesture.

Twilight scowled and snorted lightly, before continuing. "Fine. I had trouble fitting in, and was teased and heckled by every human I came across. Happy?"

The group wore matching looks of disbelief. Finally, Pinkie Pie spoke up.

"Really?"

Pinkie skulked towards Twilight with a scowl to put gargoyles to shame, not stopping until she was physically pushing Twilight back with her snout. "That's all? You put Jason through all that because you were bullied?"

Twilight gulped, Pinkie's obvious disdain driving a knife through her heart. Powering through, she managed to continue. "That was just the first day..."

I stepped out of the bathtub and quickly wrapped one of the fluffy, luxurious towels around my waist. "Alright, I'm out." I pushed my hair out of my eyes, feeling so much better. "So what now?" Celestia was still turned away, her tail billowing in a nonexistent wind to give me a full view of—aaaand I'm gonna look anywhere but there.

The Princess turned back around with what I immediately recognized as a fake smile. "My sister will wake soon. When she does, I'll leave you in her care." Her smile turned quite a bit more forced, but at the same time didn't waver in the slightest. "I will arrange for the Element Bearers' return to Ponyville." I nodded silently and motioned for us to leave the bathroom. The steam-laden air was beginning to suffocate me.

Back in the...it was too spartan to be considered a living-room, with only a single chair and bookcase, so...waiting-room? Back in the waiting-room, I stood feeling incredibly awkward. Much of the soreness and frustration had been washed away, but I was still in an entirely new situation. I had absolutely no idea how to act. Maybe small-talk? "So..." I looked up at the ceiling, hands fidgeting with the edge of my impromptu towel-kilt, "how 'bout that weather? Seems you ponies keep it a paradise almost year-round...with obvious exceptions." I muttered the last part under my breath, but in the pin-drop silence I was sure she heard it anyway.

"The Weather-Factory is very efficient," Celestia agreed, "we can thank the pegasi's discipline for that. Back in the golden age of Pegasopolis, every stallion and mare was trained in the art of combat." Her face twisted slightly with disapproval. "While I do not condone or enjoy violence, it is that history that gives pegasi their sense of duty. Without it, I fear Equestria would've fallen apart millennia ago." Celestia raised an eyebrow at me with a small smile. "Of course I'm sure you already know this. Twilight is very...enthusiastic with her lectures. I'll bet she gave you a rundown on Equestria's history as soon as you stepped into her library."

I winced slightly. "Yeah...about that. That's why I came here in the first place." I felt some amount of anger bubbling back to the surface, but I quashed it under my heel. I already had a private meeting with Celestia, now would not be the time to act like a madman. "I never actually stayed with T...with her." My brows furrowed and an edge crept into my voice, despite my best efforts. "As a matter of fact, she slammed the door in my face as soon as she saw me."

Celestia took a slight step back, blinking rapidly. "...Did she give a reason?"

I shrugged. "Not really. Pretty much told me to fuck off." I paused. "I know it sounds crazy, but...I swear I'm being honest."

The princess was visibly troubled, and more than a little disheartened. "...Surely somepony let you stay with them. You look like you've seen better days to be sure—no offense—but I highly doubt you could've survived all this time without any help."

"Nope." I was surprised how easily I was dealing with this. I was angry to be sure, I was absolutely livid, but it felt far-away. Like it couldn't really affect me. "In fact, quite the opposite. After word spread that I'd made an enemy of the local princess, ponies went out of their way to ruin my day." I pointed to a warped, pale patch of scar-tissue on my right shoulder, jagged white lines spiderwebbing down my torso, "lightning-strike. If it'd hit my other side, I'd be dead right now." I pointed to a crescent-shaped scar on my belly, "kicked by a pony." For some reason I felt I should omit Applejack's name. I drew my finger along a deep white scar on my forehead, laying horizontally across my temple and cutting into my hairline, "hit by a wooden plank. That one nearly did kill me."

Celestia's eyes narrowed. "Lightning doesn't leave scars, Jason. Your natural magic should insulate you from the damage."

It was my turn to raise an eyebrow. "Excuse me, Princess? How does that even make any sense?" Okay, now I was starting to get pissed. I didn't come all this way to be called a liar. "Not sure if you're aware, but I don't have magic. Lighting is very, very bad for my health."

"Everypony has magic, Jason. Even earth-ponies have magic, subtle as it may be." I could tell she was running short on patience. But at this point, I couldn't care less.

"Yeah," I scowled, crossing my arms. "Every pony. But I'm not native to Equestria. My world has no magic. Therefore, I have no magic." So nyehhh!

The Princess paused in consideration for several moments, the tension in the room only broken when the bedroom door swung open and the most terrifying thing I'd seen in three years stumbled out.

The pre-coffee Luna stared at me through puffy, half-asleep eyes for several moments, trying in futility to blink the hallucination away. After several tense seconds, she shook her head and made her way to what I assumed was the kitchen.

"S' too early for this sh—"

"Luna," Celestia warned, "language."

The dark mare grumbled an unintelligible response before the gurgling of a coffee-machine emanated from the kitchen.

Celestia turned back to me and cleared her throat. "...Jason, I have some duties to attend to. Thus, I leave you in my sister's—" Luna levitated her mug to the table before sitting down and faceplanting beside it with an exhausted groan. "...capable hooves." The solar diarch disappeared in a flash of golden light, leaving me with Moonbutt.

I glanced towards the kitchen and thought about getting myself a cup of coffee, but thought better of it.

Twilight was just about to continue her story, before her mentor's voice echoed from the hall. The group turned just in time to see a troubled Celestia enter. "Twilight, a word please?"

Chapter 32: A Conversation Long Overdue

A Conversation Long Overdue

I sat in Zecora's hut, looking around at the sparse, strange decoration. The mare herself was absent for the moment, leaving me alone under the...creepy masks hanging on the walls.

I'm not sure what it was about them, but the way they snarled and grinned just seemed too alive. I shuddered and drew my knees to my chest, trying to avert my gaze and failing miserably. Stop looking at them...

I gulped and took a deep breath, resting my forehead on my knees. Come on, keep it together... I squeezed my eye closed and grit my teeth, unable to shake the feeling of something watching my back. The hairs on the back of my neck refused to lay down, and my skin felt like it was about to crawl off my bones and scuttle out of the hut.

When did I get so neurotic? I shouldn't have been falling apart like this. I never had before, even my time in the cave left me mostly sane...if sanity was killing yourself to spite someone who hardly knew you existed.

So maybe I wasn't sane. But that begged the question: just how crazy was I? A quick glance up at the glaring masks sent a spike of dread through my spine.

Crazy enough to try talking to inanimate objects?

"Stop looking at me," I demanded, glaring right back up at the masks. As expected, nothing happened. I rolled my good eye and returned my gaze to the floor. Yes. I AM crazy enough to talk to a mask. "So Wilson, what do you think's gonna happen to me?"

"You mean before or after Celestia silences the press and has whatever you publish burned?" I jumped with a terrified yelp, squirming back towards the wall opposite the masks. A look up to the pair saw the grinning mask looking down at me with laughing scarlet and piss-yellow eyes, a single snaggletooth poking from the lips.

I scowled. "What the Hell do you want?" I groused, trying to will away the embarrassed flush in my sunken cheeks. When did I get so jumpy?

"Just to help you, just like I said!" The mask took on a mock-hurt expression. "Do you really trust me so little?"

"I trust you as far as I can throw you," I scowled up at the possessed ornament, shakily standing and crossing my arms.

"Well, I ne-!"

"If you don't want to find out just how far that is, start talking. Why'd you just leave me earlier?"

Discord narrowed his eyes, looking at me like I'd just asked an unbelievably stupid question. "I'm Discord, spirit of chaos and disharmony. Do you honestly think me being present would help you earn Applejack's trust?"

...Oh.

I am not a clever man. "I suppose not..." I sighed and drew my hand down my face, taking a deep, cleansing breath and looking back up at the mask. "Then why're you here?" I may be an idiot, but Discord wasn't. He had a reason for this.

The mask flashed a brilliant white for a split-second, and when I blinked the spots from my eyes, Discord was standing directly in front of me. "I'm curious. You want to write an article? A book, detailing your time in our fair land?" I flinched slightly at the venom in his last words, but nodded nonetheless. "And yet you aren't trying to get back at the ponies directly." Discord furrowed his eyebrows, tapping his chin. "Explain."

"I want justice, not revenge." I scowled down at the ground, unwilling and unable to look the trickster in the eye. "If I try to fight them directly, I'll be painted as a villain." I smiled, a sick, twisted little thing, and looked up at Discord. "I'm sure you know how well that goes." From his glare, he did.

"A valid point...but that didn't stop you from almost murdering Rainbow Dash." Discord's glare deepened. "Fluttershy's closest and oldest friend." What does that have to do with anything? "No, you have another reason..."

I shrugged, arms out at my sides. "Believe me or don't, I honestly couldn't care less."

"Aha!" Discord pumped a fist in the air, grinning almost too wide for his face. "You don't want to be a monster for the same reason I stay a good little colt for Celly." A furred digit from his lion's paw pressed roughly into my forehead, almost knocking me over. "You, my friend, have at least one little pony you want to keep safe and sound."

I rubbed the tingling spot furiously, glaring at Discord with everything in me. "That's ridiculous. I hate them. I just don't want to go down to their level."

"Oh? You mean you don't like Applejack? The mare who saved you? The mare who nursed you back to health? The mare you ran straight to when you wanted your problems fixed?"

I shivered, a strong chill running from the crown of my head to my feet. "She broke my ribs, almost took my leg, did take my eye, and locked me in a barn like an animal." I scowled, glaring hatefully at nothing. "I only went because she's the element of Honesty. She'll have the most credibility. Nothing more."

"Oh, but of course..." Discord narrowed his eyes in thought, steepling his fingers together. "With all that, why would you care? Truly, the ponies would deserve whatever you can dish out. So why hold back?"

I rolled my eyes, ready to repeat myself. However before the first word left me, Discord held up a talon. "Yes yes, I know, justice. Be honest with yourself for once, boy! What's stopping you?"

A second chill, radiating out from the still-tingling point in my forehead, preceded my next word. "...Nothing."

"And there comes the epiphany..." Discord clapped his hand on my shoulder, grinning widely. "And remember, Jeff! I'll be helping you every step of the way." The draconequus turned on his heel walking towards the door. "Oh...And by the way..." A thick, black mound of fabric materialized in the air a foot from my face, almost falling to the ground before I snatched it out of the air. "Put some clothes on, it's embarrassing."

"My name is Jason," I muttered, but he was already gone.

The cloak was heavy and itchy against my arms, but it settled well over the improvised toga. I reached back and gripped the hood, pulling it up over my head. Instantly, I felt better. The dim hut immediately seemed clearer, the masks less frightening. The door creaked open behind me, causing me to turn in a grand swoop of my new cloak. That. Is. Awesome. I grinned at Zecora's uneasy expression, chuckling. "You find what you needed?"

Zecora blinked at me, slowly entering the hut and setting her saddlebags down on the ground. "...You had best remove your cloak; I don't find this a funny joke."

I raised an eyebrow, giving her own cloak a pointed look. After a moment of awkward silence, I sighed and pulled the hood back. "Better?"

She instantly relaxed, exhaling as if she'd been holding her breath. She nodded, searching through the bags until she found some strange herbs. "You said that we should speak as friends...some calming herbs will aid such ends."

"Right...sure." I moved aside, letting Zecora move around the cramped space. She set a kettle over the pit in the center of the room, starting a fire under it with a wave of her hoof.

What? I pushed the question out of my head. Fucking magic...

"While I put on a choice brew, tell me what you plan to do." I blinked at the striped mare, taking a moment to decipher her speech.

"Well...I originally planned to publish my story, but the more I think of it, the more I think it's a stupid idea." I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Those seem to be the only kind I have, these days." I closed my good eye, letting myself deflate and slouch. "There's no way for me to win here. I just want out of Equestria. I want to get as far away as I can...maybe live in some forest." I snorted, a bitter smile on my face. "Maybe find a better cave."

"I always did take you for a fool." Zecora said, shaking her head.

"Well what would you do?!" I shouted, throwing my hands in the air. "I don't exactly have a lot of options now, do I?"

"Perhaps you could live under zebra rule..." She answered calmly, breaking up the herbs and tossing them in an empty teapot.

"I just...what?" I blinked. "Wouldn't they treat me the same way?" Aesthetics aside, zebras couldn't be that different from ponies. "Besides, I'm an outcast in Equestria and I speak their language. How am I supposed to fit in if I sound like I'm screaming gibberish at everyone?"

"A dumb dog can learn tricks, if one is willing to teach." Zecora smiled, eyes forced into a squint by her smirk. "Even a fool couldn't find 'speak' out of reach."

"So I'm a dog now?" I asked, expression and tone flat. "You sure know how to make a guy feel special." Zebras...well, why not? "Thanks anyway," I shook my head and stood, pulling the hood over my head. "I'll...see you around." I stooped under the doorway and out into open air, making my way back to Ponyville.

The ponies ran into their homes even quicker than usual as I approached, but I put it out of my mind. First, Sugarcube Corner...Then Fluttershy. I had some business to take care of.

Getting through the streets was easy. None of the ponies dared approach me, and few even spoke above hushed whispers as I passed. Either the cloak is even more badass than I thought, or word about what happened with Rainbow Dash spread...probably both. Nonetheless, after a few dead-ends, I found my way to the bakery with little trouble.

I knocked against the doorframe as gently as I could while still making sure I was heard, before entering. Remembering Zecora's reaction to my hood, I reluctantly pulled it down. "Is Pinkie Pie in?"

A rapid scuffling of hooves against wood signaled the retreat of at least one pony, though to my relief there was still a full-figured pale blue mare behind the counter. Trembling and obviously terrified, but present. "I-I-I'm af-f-fr-"

"Afraid, yes?" I nodded, rolling my hand to urge her on.

"N...No. She's not." She took a deep breath, calming herself slightly. "Can you p-please leave? You're scaring the customers."

I looked around at the empty tables, before returning my gaze to the mare. I kept my face schooled into absolute neutrality, but one traitorous eyebrow raised in response.

"Y-yep! Scaring the customers...which we have...right now!" She added with a tight, strained grin when I didn't budge.

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to call up any patience I had left. "Look...Cup Cake, right?" Her eyes widened. "I don't care about you. I don't care about your husband. I don't care about your kids. I just want to talk to Pinkie, and then I'll leave. Quietly. Probably forever. Alright?"

"...Promise?"

I rolled my eyes and nodded. "Yes. I promise."

Cup Cake turned towards the stairs, partially obscured by a rack of pastries. "Pinkie! Somepo-....Something's here to see you!"

"Tell 'em to leave!"

Cup Cake's pupils constricted in terror, her forehooves dancing slightly across the floor. "It's very important!"

"I said no!"

I growled, walking towards the stairs. "I tried to be polite. I tried to be the good guy. Well you know what?" Cup Cake tried to step in front of me, but I pushed past her. "FUCK IT!" I stormed up the stairs, marched over to a door painted frosting-pink, and twisted the handle. As expected, the door was unlocked.

Do any of the doors here even have locks?

I stepped through, to an expectedly girly bedroom. I ignored the drooping, half-inflated balloons littering the floor, and walked over to a pony-shaped lump under the blanket. "Pinkie Pie, I need to talk to you."

"Go 'way..."

"No." I scowled, crossing my arms.

"Leave me alone!" A pink foreleg jutted out from under the blanket, swiping at nothing.

"No. Now come out and look at me, or I swear to every god that's listening that I will pull you out myself."

"..." The lump shifted for a moment, until a dark fuschia mane popped out, looking as if it was ironed straight. One baby-blue eye peeked out, locking onto me and widening before she gave a faint squeak and dove back fully under the blanket.

"Oh, fuck this..." Huh...that seemed to be turning into a catchphrase. "Don't say I didn't warn you." I reached down and grabbed two handfuls of blanket, heaving and pulling it up and away. Pinkie scrambled to grab hold of it, but where I had twisted and wrapped it around my hands, her hooves slipped and fumbled clumsily over the fabric. In no time at all, I'd untangled the pony and tossed the blanket to the floor. "Now sit down, shut up, and listen. I'm not gonna hurt you, okay? I just want to ask a question."

Pinkie remained silent, forelegs over her head. I sighed, turning and sitting on the bed. "Good God, if I'd known you'd be this difficult I wouldn't have bothered."

She flinched when I sat down, but didn't move much besides. "What do you want?" Where before she'd sounded morose, she sounded scared half to death.

I would've felt bad for her if I cared.

"Answers." I answered, my voice just as dead and monotone as always. "I've been in and around Ponyville for three years, and the first time I saw you was in Canterlot. There's no way that could happen through coincidence. You were avoiding me. I want to know why."

"...Pinkie Sense."

What. "What."

"R-right before you came, my Pinkie Sense said there was a doozy coming...And then it said something scary was about to happen."

I felt my eye twitch violently. "You..."

"And every time you came, my Pinkie Sense said all kinds of bad things would happen! Things would fall, it'd say somepony would get hurt really, really badly..."

Twitch. "You...based your entire opinion of me...on a few twitches and hunches." My voice was still monotonous, but only just. "And did you not think, even for a second, that I was the one getting hurt?"

Pinkie curled up, trembling. "I'm sorry..."

"Those things that were falling? Rocks. Eggs. Rotten fruit. Rocks. The 'somepony' getting hurt really bad? Rocks. Hitting my head." A faint shudder ran through me. "And lightning."

"I'm sorry!" Pinkie repeated, close to yelling.

"Look at me." I turned, looking fully at Pinkie. She didn't move. I reached down, prying her forehooves off her head. "LOOK AT ME!"

She slowly looked up at me, eyes wide and hyperventilating. Her breath came in quick, shallow, panicked breaths, and her pupils were constricted to pinpricks. I leaned down, closing my eyes, and pressed my forehead to hers.

"All of this..." I whispered, "everything that happened...Every scar, every miserable day...all of it could've been prevented." I pulled back, opening my functional eye. "But you were so much less than what I needed you to be."

Pinkie sobbed, but didn't move to cover herself again. I reached out and gathered her, pulling her into my lap. "And you know the funny thing?" I propped up the distraught mare, resting her head on my shoulder. One hand steadied her, the other ran through her mane.

"I'm sorry..." It was barely a whisper, but with her mouth so close to my ear, I could hear it easily. I ignored it anyway.

"For some reason, when I think of everything that happened, I still can't put your face to it. I should hate you. I want to hate you. You could've helped me...but you didn't."

Another, louder sob.

"And even though you absolutely don't deserve it...I forgive you."

Pinkie remained silent for several seconds, aside from hiccups and sobs. Finally, she answered with a near-silent, "why?"

"It's for me...not for you." I answered, scratching Pinkie's ear. Personalities aside, ponies are very soft. "I'm going to leave Equestria. And I'm never going to see you again. Any of you." I reluctantly slid her off my lap and stood, my business concluded. "I'm going to hopefully have this conversation with all of you. I don't want to take all of...this...with me when I leave." I turned to walk out, but a fetlock wrapped around my wrist stopped me.

"Wait!" I turned, seeing a disturbingly desperate, imploring look in Pinkie's eyes. "Don't leave yet..."

I raised an eyebrow. "And what, exactly, is making me stay? I've said my piece."

"...Please?" Oh dear God...

I huffed, a combination of a frustrated groan and exasperated sigh. "You're like a demon...a foul, tempting, adorable little demon." I sat down on the bed, and Pinkie immediately clambered back onto my lap. She looked at the thick black cloak wrapped around me, and grimaced.

"It's all...scratchy. And black."

I nodded, a frustrated scowl on my face. "And so it is."

"Take it off."