Idfk, just write the story

by Heropony

Rating: mature
Tags: Tragedy, Random, Crossover, Slice of Life, Romance, Comedy
Length: 973

Well, this is the story, all about how, Equestria was made, so just take a minute and sit right there, and HOLY S-

State Farm has went on it's daily tax van trip again, collecting taxes. It turns out, Rainbow Dash didn't have her taxes. Then, things get fucked up.

Starring : Background, Midnight, Gamer, Deadpool, Narrator, Jack, Jake, Regenerator, Head of Shipping Department, The Mane 6, Dominance, Discord, Nemesis, Morgan Freeman, and the Narrator

I own ; Background, Head of Shipping Department, Narrator, and Dominance.

Gamer Geek (FIMFiction username) owns Midnight, and Gamer.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-01 04:00:05 UTC

I can't think of a fucking chapter name. Creativity at it's finest!

It was a normal day in Ponyville.. Bright and sunny, but out of no where, a wild horrible story appears!

Jake from State Farm walked up to Rainbow Dash, "Hello, I have come to ask you, have you done your TAXES RECENTLY?!" Asked Jake. As Jake was human, this completely fucking confused Rainbow Dash.

"Uhm.. Er.." Rainbow Dash slowly backed away, and flew away.

"Regenerator from State Farm! Get over here, we have a pony to catch!" Yelled Jake.

"Got it!" Regenerator replied, pulling up in a White Van with 'Free Taxes' written on the side. Jake hopped in, and yelled, "Get them!"

Regenerator's Van suddenly was able to fly and shoot rainbows out of the back. As they soared though the air, making Soarin jelly, rainbows started covering the town of Ponyville! As they started gaining on Rainbow Dash, they did a VANBOOM, which ended the world.

Morgan Freeman felt generous that day, as he let them and their planet still exist. He sent many more beings of such into that world, creating the WORLD'S BIGGEST SHITSTORM AROUND! Gamer Geek and Midnight Stars the ponies (Owned by Gamer Geek liek no steelz brahz) were fighting Deadpool and Background in a Marvel vs Capcom 3 : Fate of Two Worlds Style. Background (Owned by le me liek no steelz brahz </3) was destroying everything that opposed him due to his sexily amazing godlike freaking divine awesomeness. Back to Jake and Regenerator from State Farm.

"We only want to help!" Yelled Jake.

"GIVE US YOUR MONEY FOR TAXXEEEEESS!" Yelled the Regenerator.

The van exploded because a stray beam of awesome from Background hit it. The Regenerator survived, but Jake was too heavily wounded to go on. They thought Rainbow Dash did it.

"Jake.. c'mon, Jake.. NOOO.." The Regenerator said.

"Go get them... Go.. Now.." Said Jake..

Regenerator wiped a tear of Bromance, "I can't leave you behind."

"You have to..." Said Jake, his final words. Jake died from blood loss..

Then Jack from State Farm showed up.

"Hello, I'm Jack, Jake's brother!" Said Jack from State Farm.

"JAKE IS DEAAAD!" Yelled Regenerator.

"NOOOOOOO!!!" They both yelled simultaneously. They hopped in a nearby Jet summoned by Morgan Freeman and flew after Rainbow Dash. They then fired missiles at Rainbow Dash, blowing her into Rainbow Soup. BA DUM TCH! What? No one? Fine...

Then, The Head of the Shipping Department took over the story.

"APPLEDASH!" He shouted, and it had happened.

Applejack immediately begin making babies with Rainbow Dash, even though they were both female. You thought Rainbow Dash was dead? So did we..

Then, Head of the Shipping Department was assassinated by Barack Obama. And then Barack Obama took over.

"I am Barack Obama. And Bareeck Obeema declares OBAMA CARE." He says, and suddenly, everypony and everybody fell dead.

Then Morgan Freeman banned Barack Obama, and gave the story back to the Narrator.

Ah, finally, thank you. That was beginning to hurt, watch them destroy my beautiful peace of art. Anyways, Luna and Celestia got in a amazing battle against Dominance (Also le mine.). In the end, Dominance won and took over. Background, Midnight, Gamer, Deadpool, Narrator, Jack, Jake, Regenerator, Head of Shipping Department, and the Mane 6 got ready to battle. They all went in a battle against Dominance, but begin losing due to his pony awesomeness, because Background was too busy being awesome to fight. Celestia and Luna were dead, so the night and day spun out of control. Nemesis (Resident Evil one.) joined with Dominance, as well as Discord. The others were losing badly, Background eating Popcorn with Deadpool. Gamer and Midnight were doing the best. Head of Shipping Department shipped Dominance, Discord, and Nemesis, causing an awkward moment.

Narrator decided to help. He weakened the opponents. Morgan Freeman then stepped in, turning them to the highest power they could achieve, and fought them.

"My voice shall now make you explode." Said Morgan Freeman.

Everyone but Gamer, Midnight, Deadpool, Background, Head of Shipping Department, Narrator and Morgan Freeman exploded. But it wasn't over. Morgan Freeman left, but Deadpool went all evil.

"WHA-YA-" He then got shot in the nuts multiple times. He fell over in pain.

"MOTHER FUCKER!" Yelled Deadpool, shooting at them.

Background was shot, but got angry and tore Deadpool's head off, ate it, shit it out, and then threw it into the Grand Canyon, blew up the Grand Canyon, called Galactus to destroy the planet, called the Multiverse to finish off Deadpool, gave Deadpool to Pinkamena for torture, then just seperated all his body parts. Background went to normal, and started going home.

He sung a song on the way.

"It's raining men- Oh, wait, wrong song.."

"

Youtube Video

"

The Narrator, me, proceeded to fill the gap that was the story because I needed a thousand words to publish this. So, Deadpool, how's it going?

Good.

Voices still in your head?

Yep, we are!

That sums it up. Deadpool, mind wrapping it up?

"It's raining men- Aw fuck, still the wrong song?"

"

Youtube Video

"

Haha, this is what happens when I fail moderation. TO CONTINUE THE STORY!

Background and Gamer went to a bar in Canterlot. They then proceeded to get drunk. Then they proceeded to fight Chuck Norris. Background and Chuck Norris ended the Universe, created twenty one billion and seven more, and ended up becoming friends.

As they became godly awesome, Celestia was suddenly there, and tried to fight them. There was some epic battle of amazing godly proportions, but one thing happened.. Out of nowhere, A toaster fell on Background's head.

"IT'S A SIGN FROM THE TOASTER GOD!" He yelled. The Universe blew up. Seven times. He then duct taped the toaster to his head, and kicked some ass.