Something seems a little... OFF!

by Dubstep Tree

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Adventure, Crossover, Comedy
Length: 3283

What is the Batter to do now that he's a pony? And why did Zacharie have to come too? This was all too strange for them both even though the 4th wall breaking Merchant is taking this pony change better then the Batter himself.

Ah! What a very pleasant day to go out and purify the next zone! Am I right? Nope!

The Batter one morning wakes up in a strange place known as Equestria and soon finds out he becomes one of these pony beings that apparently can talk… then again cats could talk in the Batter's world. After meeting many annoying ponies and learning to walk on four legs later he stumbles upon a familiar face who had also been turned into a pony. Zacharie. Their new mission.. to find the ruler of this land and ask how they can change back and possibly maybe a little bit of some purification?

This is a MLP and OFF game crossover!

OFF: Mortis Ghost

MLP: Is property of Hasbro

Much thanks to the artist who let me use their art for the cover: WaffleMilu

NOTE: This fan fiction may contain, language, 4th wall breaking, mild blood and gore, minor sexual humor, and crude humor!

Also just a heads up! This story will have it's dark and sad spots in some chapters because the game OFF is a bit dark! (If you know what I mean if you've played the game!)

Please also notice this story will have switches between The Batter and Zacharie here and there in this story!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-14 21:25:28 UTC

Chapter 1: I don't have time for this!

The Batter awoke and opened his eyes slowly before covering them from the bright yellow beam of the warm spring sun. He turned his head to the left and saw his hat next to him, as he yawned and emerged from the grass and thought it to be strange why he was outside on the grass instead of a bed like he had been in last night. Shrugging off this ominous feeling he went to reach for his hat; when he put a hoof on the hat he cringed and pulled his hoof back. What the? Am I.. No I couldn't be. He said shaking his head and reaching for it again but this time the white stallion with the blonde mane went jumping back wards knowing now that all this was real. But how?! The Batter searched quickly for his bat and had no site of it. Officially annoyed he grabbed his hat carefully with his newly developed hooves and placed it on his head huffing angrily. When the Batter took his first step he fell hard into the grass with a thump. It's hard to walk with four legs! Damn.. Getting back up he tried again and again still with no progress. He huffed and snorted angrily when a cyan colored pegasus seemed to take notice of the Batter and landed in front of him with a confused look across her face.

"You need help or something? You look like a newly born foal trying to take their first few steps but... a lot worse I have to say." She told him as she brushed her rainbow mane out of her face with a joking tone in her voice. The Batter rolled his eyes and gritted his teeth as he rose again but carefully and responded back with annoyance, "Who are you and why do you even care?"

"Who am I? Are you kidding me?!" She asked surprised, almost everyone knew her! How did this strange stallion who failed at walking on all for legs not know who she was? "I'm Rainbow Dash! The best flyer in all of Equestria!" She responded proudly with a grin upon her face.

"Never heard of you..." The Batter replied shaking his head in not the slightest clue of who this Rainbow Dash mare was.

"Tch... fine.. who are you then if you never heard of me."

"I'm the Batter! I'm a purifier of the zones.. but apparently these don't look like the zones so I must not be in my own world. Where am I?" He asked sincerely and a little forceful but he didn't care all he wanted were answers from someone who actually knew what was going on and he wanted them now. Rainbow Dash let out a laugh and socked the Batter in the shoulder a little too rough as she chuckled a little.

"You're funny! You know that? Purifier? HA! You really got me there. But enough of the jokes, you're in Equestria silly!" Dash smiled at the Batter like he was her best friend or something and offered to show him around.

"But it's true! Equestria?" He replied questioningly with a frown on his plain white face to the rainbow maned pegasus as he fixed his cap with a slight tilt hiding his eyes leaving Dash in a daze of confusion as she shook her head.

"You know what? Maybe you can tell my friend Twilight about this.. maybe she can help explain to you what happened? I just think you're nuts, but it's worth a shot I guess."

On their way to Ponyville since the Batter had been found in the outskirts of the town in the soft plush grass on a lovely warm and sunny summer day and Rainbow Dash had just found him there while flying for sky clearing since most of the clouds were grey and rain wasn't required that day. They trotted towards Ponyville since Rainbow wanted to show him around knowing from her own judgement he seemed to not know anything about Equestria or where everything was. They first stopped by the Carousel Boutique to see Rarity since the Batter was new, Dash could at least show him to her friends even if his walking was improving on the way, since Rainbow helped him a few times before they embarked, he was still a bit clumsy with his steps. They both entered Rarity's place and it was silent for a few moments before a loud screech echoed through the colorful and girly like place. It was filled with mannequins; some of them wore dresses and outfits while the rest were plainly naked and untouched. By the looks of the vintage horse shaped mannequin it seemed in really good condition. Practically new.

"SWEETIE BELL!!! WHERE DID YOU PUT THOSE IMPORTANT FABRICS I NEED?!" Rarity yelled with outrage as she stumbled out of her room quickly and passed Rainbow Dash and the Batter without taking a glance she greeted them while hustling to her little sister's room, "Hi Rainbow Dash! Hi Rainbow's friend!" When the purple maned unicorn made it to her sister's room she hesitated to knock on Sweetie's door before she found a note taped to it and sighed, "Of course she is out with her friends.. she always is." Rarity let a drawn out angered huff like snort and walked over slowly to the entrance that Rainbow and the mysterious Batter came in from while she took a deep breath to calm her nerves over her silly episode.

"Hey Rarity! Thought I'd just drop by. I'm showing this new guy around but be warned.." She said now close to her friends ear and whispered in it quietly, "He's a little strange.."

"Strange? Strange like Pinkie Pie strange?" Rarity's head tilted slightly to the right at Rainbow's so called "warning" that even she didn't know whether to take precaution or not.

"Rarity really? No one can be stranger than Pinkie Pie."

"True. Well.. it's nice to meet you... um... Rainbow Dash? What's your new friend's name?"

The Batter had been so quiet the whole time he hadn't realized it till now. He was more interested in the building's structure more then what these mares were talking about and looked at every sugar coated detail. Sure it was a little too girly to the Batter's taste but he was some what impressed how little ponies could make such structures such as this. "I'm the Batter. It's also nice to meet you Rarity.. I guess that's your name? Rainbow Dash? I think?" He addressed to the cyan pegasus hoping he got her name right. When rainbow Dash nodded in reply letting him know he was correct the Batter continued, "I don't really have time for this honestly.. my world needs to be purified from impure spirits! No one else is going to purify them. So can we please hurry to your friend Twinkies' house so I can figure out how this all happened?"

"Twilight." She corrected him smiling at his mistake. "See? He is strange. He's been talking about some purification thing or whatever." She said looking towards Rarity with a big smile.

"Right.. Twilight." The Batter nodded keeping that name in mind since these new names were strange to him in many ways.

Rainbow Dash nodded and rolled her eyes amused, "I guess. After all we just dropped by to say hello to my friend and introduce you to her. See ya later Rarity!" She waved as the Batter and Dash made their way out of the Carousel Boutique and ventured a little ways in Ponyville to get to Twilight's tree house library. Twilight had almost every single book on everything! Maybe she had the right book to the Batter's questions. Or... maybe not. But it was worth a shot. The Batter was just very antsy on wanting answers to his questions, he did not want to waste any precious time until he was told fully what has happened to him. Being a pony and all, he didn't want to stay like this forever when he had to full fill his sacred mission of purifying the zones in his own world.

Chapter 2: Purification in Progress

After knocking on the wooden door of Twilight's livable tree house nothing could be heard except for rushed hoof steps from inside the comfortable and right at home tree house this mare lived in. Many long minutes had passed and still Twilight hadn't answered the door. The only thing Rainbow Dash and the Batter knew was that they could hear two muffled voices and a lot of walking and dashing about, here and there with a few fallen thuds. At least that's what the impatient pair heard without actually knowing what exactly was going on, of course it was painful and dragging to wait and wait; usually Twilight never took this long to answer her door especially for her friends but.... something told the Batter's instincts something wasn't right. Something was wrong... REALLY wrong! Shaking away the many thoughts of the possibilities of what it could be from his surrounded mind he looked over at the cyan and rainbow maned pegasus and extended his right hoof to tap her shoulder as he took notice of the mare staring off into space the moment they started waiting the first five minutes. Lightly tapping the mare's shoulder seemed to cause her to jump a little in surprise as she looked over at the Batter's presence smiling a little at the pure white and blonde maned stallion as she turned to leave she quickly looked at the Batter and shrugged.

"I don't know about you pal but I'm heading off. You can wait here if you want but I'm getting tired of standing around." She told him as she quickly spread her fluffy feathered wings and shot off into the sky like a rocket leaving a trailing rainbow lingering behind and disappearing as it came before he could respond back to Rainbow Dash.

The Batter waited a few minutes longer before he started hearing what sounded like a mare's scream in agony and for help. The blonde stallion's hidden blood red eyes widened as he tried to open the smooth wooden door to the tree house only to find it was locked tightly; he quickly looked around the tree house front and back for a way in until he saw a window he could get in through by the front door. Thinking for a few moments on how to get inside he looked to the ground and leaned down grabbing a rock that inconveniently was laying a few inches away from his hooves on the hard dirt stone like ground and clenched his teeth around the rough textured mineral as he swung his head back quickly. Counting down the seconds to throw it without a problem he shot his head forward causing his cap to fly off of his head revealing his blonde mane and red squinting eyes while the rock was shot at full speed into the window causing the rock's collision to shatter a small hole into it. The Batter shrugged snatching his hat from the stone looking ground in his mouth as he carefully placed it back upon his head with his hooves tilting it downward to hide his eyes once more and walked over towards the slightly shattered window near the door. Looking back and forth hoping no pony had seen what he did he lifted his right hoof and forcefully smashed it into the smaller shattered hole causing it to get big enough so he could get in and help whoever was in danger.

As quick and sly as a fox he slid into the shattered hole and yelped quietly as he felt a sharp pain in his left hind leg. When he was fully in the inside of the tree house the Batter looked back at his cut and pained leg letting out a small groan of pain at the sight of his wound bleeding. He had blood running down his white leg slowly giving the stallion an educated guess that it didn't get cut that deep. Moments of checking and looking at his bleeding leg he was alerted by the same screaming he had heard and followed the sound up some stairs, only to find that a lavender coated mare with a magic like marking on her flank and a strange mane color pattern that had a dark indigo color with pink and purple streaks in her mane and tail was being attacked by what looked like an impure specter that The Batter eliminated back in his world. There were all kinds of specters that he had encountered and by the looks of it, it was a blinded specter.

The Batter growled and grabbed a book from the mare's bed in his mouth and slammed the book into the blinded spirit's side causing it to fall down to the first floor of the tree house; it hissed instantly at the purifier's presence as it looked up to see who had interrupted it from attacking the mare and quickly scattered it's ghostly appearance towards the stairs. The purifying stallion trotted towards the stairs and quickly threw the book at the specter causing it to fall backwards again down the first four steps it had made its way up to, and disappeared when it had hit the floor leaving the book open and on the floor. Sighing with relief the Batter looked over at the mare who seemed to rise up from the wooden floor slowly and revealed bleeding scratches on her flank, face and legs. Seeing this the stallion walked over to her and noticed she had a horn upon her forehead and cocked his head to the right slightly in curiosity, Ponies with wings and horns...? Interesting.. The Batter thought to himself in interest and he cleared his throat to speak to the unicorn.

"Are you okay miss?" He asked with a flick of his short blonde colored tail. When the lavender coated mare nodded she slowly walked toward the Batter curiously as she looked the purifier's strange clothing and lifted up his hat looking into his ominous and serious gaze for a few moments before looking away and smiling slightly.

"Interesting... I'm Twilight Sparkle. You are?" She responded quickly as her plum, purple colored gaze lit up with interest for this strange looking stallion that had saved her from the corrupt soul that wouldn't stop scratching and spitting at her with rage.

Speaking in a gritted and neutral sounding matter the Batter introduced himself and told Twilight what he was supposed to be doing,  where he came from and why he needed to get back to his own world. Explaining all that made the Batter feel a lot better as he noticed this mare was a lot interested in him and what he was saying. Did she truly understand this or was she just as lost as Rainbow Dash and just pretending she looked as if she understood?  Waiting a few moments he jumped when Twilight spoke up and ran to get a book.

"Hang on Batter! I may not be able to explain this strange happening for you... but... I might just have a book or two for you!" She responded as she looked around and grabbed a book with her unicorn magic carefully and slowly before levitating it towards the blonde capped stallion. "This book right here! May give you the desired answers you need. If not just bring it back right away and I'll give you a different book that might help."

The Batter examined the book cover and nodded slightly understanding what Twilight had just told him before speaking up, "Wait Twilight! I have to ask... you something..."

"Ask away. Don't be afraid to ask me anything! I know a lot knowledge to answer questions.. sometimes."

"Well... if there was a specter in this world that appeared from my world... can you keep a look out for a masked stallion with a raven black colored.... mane? I have to talk to him." The Batter said sternly as he lingered on words he had never spoken in his own life... till now at least.

Looking away from her neatly organized book shelf for a moment Twilight gave Batter a confused expression before quietly nodding and ushering him off with a hoof as she turned to the book shelf once more, leaving the Batter to either stay or go.

The purifier decided to leave since he had no business with Twilight anymore, he held the book he was given in his mouth carefully and softly as to not pierce the cover with his teeth. Though when he had taken his first step he realized he was limping from his window scratch wound upon his left hind leg; he looked at it when he walked out of Twilight's tree house and noticed the blood was still slightly fresh and by his own judgement it started hurting worse with each hoof step and more blood had slowly began dripping down leaving the stallion to whimper and groan quietly in pain as his wound grew more from a little pain to something agonizing; like someone was trying to tear it open violently with all their strength. Of course that was just a feeling but it slowed him down. The Batter looked around the town and found a bench he could sit on, hoping to calm the pain from his leg and maybe examine it a little more to check how bad the cut was more closely then he had seen it from the start he climbed in through Twilight's slightly broken window.

He widened his eyes and shivered remembering he had slightly smashed the mare's window with a rock and never bothered to inform her.

The Batter shook his head and covered his snout with his hooves having a groan of annoyance and pain escape his throat. What would this lavender mare think of him now, since he didn't tell her about the window. Then again why did he even care in the first place? Was this crazed technicolor world already getting to him? Or was it because he knew he would maybe be stuck here forever? The white stallion had no idea what to think! In fact he thought about so much right then and there it began to give him a migraine.

He sighed for a short second and looked at the book Twilight had gave him and cracked it open with his hooves coughing as dust from the pages arose in his face and got inside his nostrils, he sneezed loudly and blushed slightly as he noticed a few townsfolk of Ponyville turned their heads towards him wondering where that dastardly sneezing noise and emerged from. Shaking his head he looked down at the book and began to read it; each page being scanned carefully and slowly by the purifiers red eyes.

Zacharie.... did you get taken to this world as well? Or is it just me? He thought to himself in a very depressing way before removing his hat and running a hoof through his blonde mane thoroughly. The Batter wondered why he was so worried now, but if Zacharie were to be here would that mean the guardians of the zones that he still had to purify and the ruler/wife and son of his own world be here too? He had so much to think about it drove him insane.... looking at the pages more of the old and dusty book, his mind wouldn't stop scrambling from one thing to another...