Can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen
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Can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen
So! Bring the audience up to speed! And by that "audience" you mean yourself, you guess. Anyways, your life in Ponyville! It's been great, especially since you and Rainbow Dash became an item. You'll never forget the day you hotdogged her in that sunny, grassy field... Ah, memories... Her panting and moaning, her writhing under you, her blue buns getting caked with your seed. Like it was yesterday! Good, good times. RD was everything you could have wanted in a girlfriend. ...Marefriend? Whatever.
Point is, she's awesome. And had a sex-drive that would put a 13-year old boy with a T1 internet connection to utter shame. So you and her have been bangulating up one side of Ponyville and down the other. Thank god for being different species, because, wow...loooooooot of semen. Like a lot. Like a lot a lot. You joked that the Smooze had nothing on yours and hers exploits. And your friends were incredibly supportive. Of the relationship, that is. Not the rampant poon-pounding-parade. You two had almost been caught more than a few times. Twilight loved to scold after those close shaves.
But enough exposition! Today you were going to Sugarcube Corner to pick up a box of sweets. Because lord knows you couldn't just get some beef jerky every now and then...
You push the door to the sweet-shop in and it's pretty empty today. Didn't look like even the Cakes were there. Which meant...
"Hello! And welcome to Sugarcube Corner!"
And here we go...
The pink, always energetic, party pony came out from the kitchen with a big, bright smile on her face.
"Oooooh, Nonny! Hi! What are you doing here?"
"Uh, hi Pinkie. I'm just here to get a box of pastries or something."
Pinkie's nice and all but...a tad grating on the nerves. But you do your best to be cordial and friendly. And hell, she's not bad to look at really. A bit...chubby, but it's in the right places. Like her flank. You shake your head clear of any distracting thoughts.
"Pastries? Well you've come to the right place, Nonny! We've got all kinds here! Oh! We've got super-duper scrumptious eclairs! And some bodacious bear claws! Oh, oh! What about some delish danishes? Or--".
"Pinkie! Eclairs are fine."
"Coming right up!" You watch as Pinkie prepares a big box of the confections, trying it all up with a fancy bow.
"Here you go, Nonny! Payment is one kiss!"
"Right, let me get my wall--wait, what?"
"A kiss, silly! You know, a smooch, a peck, locking-lips--"
"I get it! But why in the HELL do you want a kiss?"
Pinkie titters and trots out from behind the sales counter.
"Well, I was curious is all."
"About kissing?"
"About kissing -you-." Pinkie puts a hoof on your chest and seems...very non-Pinkie-ish right now.
Her eyes are half-lidded, she's breathing slightly heavier, and you can practically smell the hormones.
"This is...really sudden, Pinkie. Where did you even get an idea like this?"
"Talking to Dashie, of course, Mr. Elusive Bun Bandit."
Your jaw goes slack.
Dash, you big blabber-mouth...
"So, uh, she told ya about all that, huh?"
"In graphic detail. To all of us."
"Uh...huh..."
SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT
"Well, I, uh... That was..." Pinkie giggles and rubs your chest reassuringly.
"Don't stress about it -too- much, Nonny. Dashie gave the go ahead, after all."
"The...go ahead?"
That sounded ominous. Dangerously ominous.
"The, uh, the go ahead to do -what- exactly?"
"To share!" she said matter-of-factly.
"Share what?"
"Share you!"
"Share me?"
"Ssssssshare you, mister mister!"
Processing... Processing... Processing...
Processing complete.
Conclusion reached: J-A-C-K-P-O-T
Wait, whoa! Stop! Cease! Desist!
Get every single duck in a row before going -any- further.
"Pinkie, you're saying with absolute -certainty-, that this was Dash's idea? That she suggested to her friends that it was -completely- cool they...do this thing you're doing right now. That she was in no way joking, joshing, kidding, goofing, making light, or busting your collective chops?"
Pinkie blinks a few times.
"Wow, Nonny. You're really thinking this through."
Seems sex related matters where the only things you put any degree of thought into...
"Nonny, I, Pinkamena Diane Pie, make you a Pinkie Promise of the utmost importance that Dashie absoltively, posilutely made it clear that she did not mind that we, her friends, tried to do the horizontal bop with you. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!" Pinkie did her traditional spiel, crossing her chest and poking herself in the eye and all that.
And you let out a calming sigh.
Then...you started sniffling and felt your eyes getting a little misty...
"Nonny, are you...crying?"
"I'm just so happy..." You wiped away a tear in an overly dramatic way.
Pinkie tittered and offered you her hoof.
"Just follow me Nonny and I'll teach you the definition of the word happy!" You take the hoof in hand and let Spastic Pink lead you into the kitchen.
The pony leaves your side and goes to rummage in the fridge. You see her fish a bottle of whipped cream out and tuck it under her foreleg. Then she hops up on one of the counters and...
psssssssssssssh!
She just... She sprayed it... It's...
"Wanna a little snacky first?" Pinkie gives you a wink and giggles.
You smack your lips and look at Pinkie's cream-covered-cooter. Man, fuck eclairs...
"Just don't stand there, silly-billy. Dig in!"
A wordless, goofy nod is your only response as you get into position. Her inner-thighs, good god... You take a deep breath and bask in Pinkie's scent. The smell of her musk and the whipped cream is a thing of beauty. You run your hands up her thighs, reviling in the feel of her fur and the delicate softness of her pudge. Pinkie spreads her back legs a little more and you take that as a que. With one last lick of the lips you "dig in". You drag your tongue painfully slowly up Pinkie's slit. The taste, mixed with the whipped cream, is exquisite. It's sugary sweet and tart, not too heavy on the taste buds. Pinkie moans with each long, drawn-out lick. Whipped cream coats your nose and chin, but you don't care. You just delight in making Pinkie squirm. Her clit begins to swell and you go on the attack, nibbling and sucking. The response is immediate. Pinkie's legs splay out and tense up, and she hisses in pleasure. Her hips start rolling against your spirited licks.
"Nonny, that's--whoo!--that's some fancy tongue-twisters you got there!" You chuckle and resume the tongue-lashing. Pinkie's lips get wetter and her panting grows heavier. Tall-tell signs. "N-Nonny, keep it up... Almost...there...! Here comes the seltzer!"
"The what--" The rest of your question is cut off as Pinkie unleashes a literal spray of sex-fluids.
Your face is soaked. A bit of the stuff drips off your nose into an ever growing puddle on the kitchen hardwood floors. You honestly have no idea what to say. You're completely blank. Another drop falls from your now-slick hair. Pinkie's twitching and heaving on the counter. Her hind-legs spasm every now and again.
"Pinkie... What the -FUCK-?"
"S-Sorry, Nonny. It's just been awhile, you know? Whew..."
"The seltzer? Seriously? -Seriously-?"
"Uh... Tee hee, I thought it was, um, accurate." Pinkie giggles and sighs contently. "Really though, Nonny, that was goooooood. I still have goosebumps."
"Yeah, well, glad you enjoyed it, I guess. I'm drenched here..."
"I can see that. But now, it's -your- turn to drench -me-~"
Pinky's kinky... Hey, that rhymed.
The earth pony hopped off the counter, still a little weak in the knees and went back to the fridge again.
Now what was she going to pull out...?
"Ooooh, this'll do!" In her hoof is a bottle of syrup. Looks like maple. "Now, get those pants off, Nonny!" Pinkie beamed.
"...What?"
"Well how else did you expect me to slather syrup on your wiener? I think pants would just get in the way. I don't want you to ruin such nice slacks. Rarity made those for you!"
"...Right."
Just smile and nod, Anon. Smile and nod. And take off your pants.
You do just that, slipping the pants off in a slight rush. The way Pinkie was eyeing you...well, you'd be stupid to go any slower.
"Polka-dots... Classy." Pinkie smirks when she sees your boxers. "Drop those too, solider! Ten hut!"
"Uh, right!" You salute with one hand and drop the boxers with the other.
More than just you was standing at attention.
Pinkie whistled and waggled her eyebrows.
"Immmmmmmpressive, Nonny."
The earth pony trotted over with the bottle of syrup, her eyes never leaving your...breakfast sausage. Pinkie inched her face closer to your crotch and took a deep breath when her snout brushed against your stiff member.
"Smells like...Dashie. And meatballs. Get it? Meat-balls-?"
You couldn't help but chuckle along with Pinkie who was tittering up a storm. The sound of the syrup bottle cap popping open caught your attention with its distinctive snap. With surprising dexterity and balance, Pinkie handled the bottle with one hoof and your man-meat in the other. Giggling cutely, Pinkie straightened out your erection and squeezed the contents of the bottle across it like it was a hot-dog. The feeling was so...weird. It was slimy and sticky and cold, but...kinda nice, in a way. What was even nicer though was when Pinkie leaned forward and wrapped her lips over the tip of your hard-on. You involuntarily shudder and rest your hands on the back of Pinkie's head. She looks up at you with those sweet baby-blues and smiles a knowing smile. She breaks off the lip contact, to your great disappointment.
"I never did understand why guys did that. Putting your hooves--hands--on the back of heads."
"It keeps us from applauding. Least it does me."
"Pffttthahaha!" Laughing, Pinkie's goes back to giving you head.
Absolutely -amazing- head. You thought Dash was good. Pinkie should be giving lessons...
Pinkie sucks, bobs, slurps, chokes... All manner of vulgar things and noises. But she never breaks eye contact. It's...mesmerizing, the way you lose yourself in those eyes. And your balls? She handles them like they were made of glass. So gentle and careful, but occasionally squeezing softly. Soft enough to elicit a throaty moan from you. Pinkie smiles with each moan she earns from you and uses it to fuel her euphoric blowjob. Which sadly is "coming" to an end because--
"Pinkie, I'm gonna blow!"
"Mm-hmm~"
She didn't slow her pace. In fact it increased and the vacuum seal of her lips around your dick grew even tighter.
"You mean...?"
"-Mm-hmm-~"
Celestia bless this spastic pink pony...
You grabbed tight onto Pinkie's head and with one final thrust, unleashed a torrent of your own whipped cream into Pinkie's red-hot mouth. She takes it like an utter champ, gulping down greedily every single drop like it was water in the desert and she was dying of thirst. You spasm a few more times and feel your erection soften, but Pinkie still hasn't let go. She continues to tongue-bathe it and nibble on the head. With a satisfied chuckle you just lean back and let Pinkie clean you up with her mouth. A slick pop lets you know Pinkie has finally released your now completely clean cock. She licks her lips and pats her stomach.
"Ahh, better than custard!"
"Glad you enjoyed it."
Pinkie nuzzled into your side and giggled.
"Oh, we're not done yet, Nonny."
"...We're not?"
"Nnnnnnope! That was just an appetizer. It's time to move on to the main course!"
"Which would be...?"
Pinkie twirled around and propped herself up on the front of the fridge. Then, she moved her tail aside and... You heard the angels sing. You still can't get over how pink Pinkie's...pink is. And right now it's glistening, and slick, and so welcoming looking.
"Nonny...fuck me."
Did -Pinkie Pie- just...talk dirty? You were back at diamond status in the blink of an eye.
"The only thing better than a pinkie pie is a cream pie~"
She's going to make your heart explode at this rate. Doing your best to not giggle like an escaped mental patient, you stroll over to Pinkie and grasp that pudgy flank of hers. She squeals in pleasure and backs herself into your hands. You were -so- going to enjoy this. You lined up your hard-as-diamond erection against Pinkie's dripping entrance and slowly prod and poked.
"Don't tease, you big meanie~"
The grin on your face is in danger of flying off at this rate. You plunge into Pinkie's Pink Pastry and shudder in utter delight. She's unbelievably tight. Even with all the wetness. This is only making you harder. You could beat a man to death with your boner right now. Slowly you drive to the hilt, Pinkie squirming and moaning the whole time. Finally you bottom out and somehow by the grace of some divine spirit you didn't orgasm right then and there.
"SoooOOOoooo good~" Pinkie's head was resting on the fridge door and you can see a stream of drool running down it.
Your penis isn't the only thing getting big today.
With an almost sadistic smirk you start humping in earnest, not giving Pinkie much time to adjust to the dick within her. She responds with thrashing her head side to side and doing her best to get her hips to rock in tune to yours. A rhythm is found between you two. A hard, ass-slapping, near-knee-buckling, "fuck me harder" rhythm. Feeling bold, you even slipped a thumb into Pinkie's brownie bakery. Which resulted in Pinkie moaning even louder.
"That's the way I like it!"
This mare... Just...this mare...
Dad, are you smiling down on me...?
Fuck, probably not.
As you thrust away you can feel Pinkie tightening around your member. Pony stamina is laughable. But it does make for more overall fuck-sessions through-out the day. So there was that.
"More seltzer coming, Pinkie?"
"Nnngh~ Y-Yeah! A whole bottles worth!"
You smirk and brace yourself and not a moment to soon. A few more strong thrusts and Pinkie throws her head back, letting the floodgates open. A flood of liquid splashes against your crotch and the floor. Pinkie convulses and rides high her orgasm, panting and mewling.
"Y-You-You didn't cum?"
"The second one is never the easy one, Pinkie my dear."
"Guess--whew--guess I'll just have to really work for it then, huh Nonny?"
"Most definitely."
Pinkie giggles and eases herself back into your still-solid cock. That heavenly pussy envelops you again and you go back to fevered thrusting. Your concentration is slightly broken when Pinkie, huffing and moaning, opens up the fridge again. What is she going to grab this time...?
"Ooooh, these should, nnnf, do a good job."
You see her pull out a plate of cupcakes.
"Wha--"
Before you can finish Pinkie starts eating the pastry. Making sure to get the frosting all over her snout.
...Why the fuck is it so hot?
Now's she moaning, and you can't tell if it's from you or the sweet. Not losing to any damn confection... You pick up speed, moving to hump speed 10. Pinkie pants like a bitch in heat, but still manages to snack away. Getting more of that frosting all over... She's starts snaking a frosting-covered hoof to her nethers and begins to rub her clit. This kinky...
"C'mon Nonny, give me a kiss~"
You lean forward and plant a kiss on Pinkie's cream-covered lips. Ungodly sweet. The pony smacks her lips and lassos the cherry on top of the sweet into her mouth. So oddly hot... You don't even bother to wipe your mouth and get back into making Pinkie orgasm her brains out. Which she does. Not literally, of course. But with Pinkie you can never be to sure... She's coming down from her third big-o and has made a mess in more ways than one. Her pink fur is matted with sticky frosting and sex fluids. And the floor is littered with crumbs, half-eaten cherries, and mare-spunk. A lewd sight to be sure. Pinkie's heaving, the multiple orgasms taking their toll.
"So... Good..."
Never thought you'd see a day where Pinkie ran out of steam.
Not that her getting tired is stopping you from fucking her silly. Gotta cross that finish line. Speaking of...
"Pinkie, I'm about to cum. Where do you want it?"
The pink earth pony gets a gleam in her big, blue eyes and she smirks like she just had the most brilliant plan ever.
"I want it..." To your surprise, and your penises horror, Pinkie pulls forward causing your erection to slip out entirely. "Right here, Nonny~!"
Pinkie holds up the last surviving cupcake and grins.
This pony a freak.
"Pinkie, I think I love you."
That's the last thing you can say as Pinkie takes to jerking you off with her free hoof. And soon enough, you give her your own piping hot frosting. Thick ropes of semen coat the cupcake, dripping down its sides and splashing across Pinkie's chest. The pony lovingly coos as your orgasm starts to taper off. Eventually you stop bucking your hips and the supply of frosting dries up. Pinkie looks at the cum-coated confection in her hoof and...
Jams it into her mouth. She smacks her lips and rubs her stomach gingerly as she chews.
"That...was the best cupcake I ever had." She wipes some of the left-over jizz off her coat and licks it off with a sigh. "Next time, I think we should try making me cream-filled."
"I'd be happy to, Pinkie. I'd be happy too."
With a chuckle Pinkie reaches into the fridge one more time and fishes out two bottles of cola. She passes you one, which you gladly take.
"To fuck-friends!"
"To fuck-friends!"
Clink!
The end.
