Christian and Geo in Equestria

Chapters

Hue-mans?
The Interview
The Diarchy
The Other Human
The Fight
The Hospital
How He Came to Be
Re-awakening
Rotten Apples
It Gets Worse
The Wager
Veni, Vidi, Vici
Final Message
Twilight's Experiment
A Win-Win Situation

Hue-mans?

The Everfree Forest is feared around Equestria. Within its borders are timber-wolves, Manticors, serpents, and various other creatures found nowhere else, who take care of themselves. The sky is almost always blocked by the large canopy, giving the forest a dark and evil feel to it. The weather there even takes care of itself, something deemed unnatural.

The forest has been labeled as a place of shadow, and many parts of it still remain unexplored, for nopony is brave enough to delve too deep, for fear that they may never return. There are few who would enter at all.

Yet, on that day, four creatures were in the forest. A canary pegasus, a purple baby dragon, and two strange creatures never before seen.

Today was not their day.

///

Geo was the first to awaken from her portal-induced slumber, lying on her back towards what should have been the ceiling of her apartment. Instead, she awoke to branches and leaves. Geo lay there for a few minutes, wondering if she was dreaming, before a branch fell from the canopy above, hitting her leg. The minor pain told her she was not.

Geo rose to her feet rather hastily, looking around, taking in the immediate area. Her surroundings consisted of her couch, her fridge, her television, her coffee table, and trees. Trees everywhere.

The logical assumption would be that Geo was in a forest somewhere, but that didn't make any sense to her. She was in her apartment last time she was awake.

Geo did not understand why she was not panicking. She was in a completely unknown location, apparently on her own, and she did not feel perturbed in the slightest.

Taking a deep breath, Geo noticed something different about the air. It was so...clean. The environment was so serene. She felt at peace, not a normal thing for a hot-headed girl such as herself.

It as then that she heard a groan come from behind the couch. She quickly rushed over to see who it was. Unsurprisingly, it was Christian. He was face down on the ground, face in a mud puddle.

He lifted his head, looking at Geo with a face slathered in mud.

"I swear Georgina, if this is your doing, I am going to do to you what fire did to the Hindenburg."

"Destroy me?"

"Yes. Very much so."

And with that, the magic was gone.

Christian lifted himself off of the ground, and wiped his face on his sleeve. It removed most of his accidental mud mask, but left a few streaks here and there, a little like war paint. He stared at Geo with his cold blue eyes, then averted his gaze to their surroundings.

"Where are we, Geo?" he asked, also internally questioning why he was so calm.

"Gee, we might be in a forest, Christian. Ever think of that?"

"Of course I did! But it is not any forest I recognise. Nor do I recognise any of these trees." Christian said curiously as he approached one of the large plants. He reached out and knocked on the trunk experimentally a few times.

"How would you even remember what kind of trees these are if you had seen them?"

"Geo, I am shocked! Remember to whom you speak!" Christian gasped in mock-shock.

"Oh yeah, photographic memory, and all that. Right."

"For your information, it is not only photographic, but eidetic as well. Remember all of the books in my room?"

"Yeah? What about them?"

"One of them was an almanac on all the known species of tree." Christian stated matter-of-factly, looking over at the tree. "This tree in front of me? It was not in there."

Geo shook her head and sighed. "When would knowing all of the worlds trees ever come in handy?"

"Knowledge is power, my dear." Christian stopped studying the plant and turned to his female counterpart. "Now, let us check our surroundings, and see what apparently came with us to..." Christian looked puzzled, "here."

"Wherever here is." Geo grumbled.

After a few minutes of studying what had come with them, it was determined that the television was destroyed, the couch was in tatters, the coffee table was broken, and the fridge was just fine, oddly. When the duo had opened it, Geo was relieved to find that her supply of Coke would not run out any time soon. Christian did not seem as thrilled, even though there was more Pepsi in the fridge than Coke.

"What's wrong now? Come on, we got our favourite drinks! What else do you want?" Geo asked irritably, opening a can of Coke and taking large gulp.

"Well, yes, we have a large supply of soft drink. That is alright. However, there is something else we need to survive."

"Yeah right! All I need is my Coke and chips and I'm set!" Geo stated after emptying the can of Coke and belching at the top of her lungs.

"Yes, you seem to be on the right track. So, Geo, could you go get me some chips?"

"No, those are mine. You can't have any!"

"Alright, let us try this. Go get some for yourself, then."

"You know what? I will! All this bickering is making me hungry."

Christian stood there with an amused look on his face as he waited for her to realise their problem. When she did, she blushed and looked away from him.

"We, uh, don't have any food, do we?"

"No, we do not. Goodness, that took you far longer than anticipated."

And so, the duo sat there in contemplation, wondering how to solve their problem. Naturally, Christian had an idea first.

"We are in a forest. I could simply find an animal for us to eat." Christian suggested.

Geo thought about this for a few seconds, before nodding. "Sure, just make sure you bring back some fruit or something."

Christian looked wholly unamused.

"You are coming with me."

Geo looked at him darkly, before standing up. "Fine, let's get this over with." She pointed at him. "But I refuse to watch you kill anything. If I'm going to eat something, I prefer not to know where it came from."

And the duo ventured out into the forest, searching for a hapless critter to feast upon.

Or they would have, had they not discovered a small, yellow horse just outside of their little camp.

Christian looked at the peculiar creature. It was much shorter than he was, and looked to be resting at the foot of one of the strange trees. Closer inspection revealed that the odd horse had a bubblegum pink mane, and a canary yellow coat, and it had a large chunk of a red crystal through one of its fore-hooves, attaching it to the tree. From his extensive memory, Christian picked it to be a shard of Red Diamond, not a very common gem.

Further inspection showed the creature to have two other strange features. A tattoo on each flank depicting three pink and blue butterflies was the lesser of the weird parts. What truly caught the young mans attention was the fact that, whatever this thing was, it had wings. That would mean it was a...

"What in the hell is that thing?"

Christian lost his train of thought upon hearing the voice of his now-fellow hunter. He turned to her, looking at Geo with a confused look, not something he often had.

"It is equine in nature, but it does not-"

"Equine?"

"It is a horse."

"Why didn't you just say horse, then?"

"Moving on, it is unlike any type of horse that I know of. Oh, and Geo? Prepare for your childhood fantasies to come alive." Christian said, showing his trademark grin before standing aside, letting Geo see the entire creature.

"Aww, it looks so cute! I'm going toOH MY GOD IT'S A PEGASUS!" Geo screamed at the top of her lungs in excitement, jumping up and down while making soft 'squee' noises.

"Shut up, girl! We do not yet know what else lives here! I would rather not be set upon by a predator, thank you!" Christian growled at his over-excited roommate.

Geo began to look at the pegasus a little harder, noticing tattoos and the gem shard.

'Why would someone do this to a poor little pegasus?"

"It may be some form of ritual from wherever we are."

Suddenly, Christian had a brainstorm.

"Geo, what is the only species we know of capable of making tattoos?"

Geo didn't even need to think for this one. "People. Why?..." Geo stopped herself. Christian could practically hear the gears in her head turning. Her face lit up. "People! There must be people nearby!"

"Very good, Georgina. When we get out of here, you have earned yourself a cookie."

"Shut up, Chris."

Christian looked back down to the pegasus. "Alright, now that we are here, we may as well make this corpse useful."

"Hey! Who said she's dead?" Geo cried, moving over to the animal, placing her fingers against its neck. "See, I feel a pulse."

Christian felt for himself before frowning. "Indeed, it lives." He then looked at Geo. "How can you tell that it is female?"

Geo saw the perfect opportunity to freak Christian out.

"Well, just look down. It's legs are open, you can clearly see-"

"AUGH! Dammit, girl, no further detail needed."

After Geo calmed down from her giggling fit, Christian presented her with a new problem.

"Geo, I am going to have to remove the shard from its fore-hoof if we wish to take it...her back to camp."

Geo looked at him for a few seconds before responding. "Fine, let's just get this over with. then we can take her back and nurse her back to health."

By this point, Christian was already trying to pull the shard out of the unfortunate creatures arm. His surprised jerk at hearing Geo's suggestion brought the gem about halfway out. As the two humans were looking at each other, neither of them noticed that the pain had started to bring the pegasus back to the world of the conscious.

"Nurse it back to- we are not keeping this pegasus! Look, it is big enough to keep us fed for a few weeks!"

"How dare you! Why would you kill such a cute, innocent animal?"

"You had not qualms with it when we first agreed to go hunting!

"Yes, but that was before I knew it would be super cute and cuddly!"

"Do you have any shame, girl?"

"Stop calling me girl like you're older than me!"

"Physically, I am two years your junior. Mentally, I am twenty your superior!"

"Did you just call me stupid?"

"No, I said I am twenty years your superior mentally. I alluded to calling you stupid."

"That's it! You know what? Fine! We'll take the cute little horsy back to camp, and eat her. But if we find another one, we are not doing the same thing!"

Christian smiled. 'Finally, you see the light!" he looked back towards the pegasus attached to the tree. "Alright, I need you to grab my shoulders and pull on the count of three."

Geo looked surprised. "But you hate physical contact."

"This is an acception. Now grab hold, before i remind you of something you wanted to forget."

Geo threw her hands into the air. "Oh for God's sake, fine."

Grabbing onto his shoulders, Geo felt Christian shiver under the contact. With an attitude like that, he'll be a virgin forever, she thought, bringing a smile to her face.

"Alright, hold tight. One," Christian said, grabbing what he could grab of the gem.

"Two." he said, about to pull...

"Hey,hold on a second, do we actually need the gem? Because we could just pull her arm off of the gem and leave it in the tree." Geo suggested. Christian actually contemplated the idea, before rejecting it.

"We take the gem at well. When we get back home, we can sell it."

"Really? What kind of gem is it?"

"It is a shard of a Red Diamond. They are uncommon at best. Worth quite a pretty penny, i am told."

"Ooh, money. Let's do this!"

"One, two, THREE!"

With a slight ripping sound which made Geo feel sick, the gem was successfully ripped from the animals arm, again causing her to flicker into consciousness for a few seconds, unbeknownst to the pair.

"Alright, now that that is over with, I would advise you to let go of my shoulders before I do to you what Mike Tyson does to me every time I play Mike Tyson's Punch Out!"

"Knock me unconscious?"

"Yes. Very much so."

And so, they proceeded to drag the unconscious pegasus back to camp, which was not a very far trip. However, the feeling of being dragged across the ground tends to wake people, especially when they were awoken not a few minutes ago.

///

It was this that Fluttershy awoke to, being dragged across the floor of the Everfree Forest, searing pain going through her left fore-hoof, a throbbing in her head, and a weak stomach.

At first, she thought she was being rescued. Then she heard what her saviors were talking about.

"So, how are we going to make a fire?"

"I am not quite sure, though I believe a pile of sticks and dry leaves will help us along."

"How re we going to make a spark, Mr. Genius?"

"Simple friction, my dear. If I rub the sharpened end of a stick onto the blunt side of another, i may eventually generate a spark."

Fluttershy did not like where this was going, but just as she was about to call out, she heard something that terrified her.

"Yeah, then we'll have fire."

"Indeed, and we can cook our catch here with said fire. I do not intend to eat a pegasus raw."

"AAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

The shock of her loud scream caused her now captors to stop dragging her, which gave her enough time to kick free, get up, and try to run.

Her left fore-hoof saw the situation differently. Fluttershy fell with a scream, but this time with a scream of pain.

The two things looking at her were standing stock still, staring at her. She took the opportunity to fly up into the nearest tree.

The creatures seemed to snap out of their daze, before looking up at her. "Well, that is rather unfortunate. Now we cannot eat."

"Did you hear her scream? It sounded human!"

"It must be simple parlor tricks. No horse can mimic human speech patterns."

Christian then sighed, and looked up to the tree. "Well, I am going to have to climb the tree to get her down. You stay here, I-"

"No! Leave me alone!" Fluttershy yelled, shivering in fear in the branches above. Apparently, her voice stunned the two creatures, because they both stopped and stared at her.

One of them was tall and thin, with pale white skin with no coat, and it's mane was small and curly, and dark brown. It was wearing clothes as well. But what really caught Fluttershy's attention was it's eyes. She, Pinkie Pie and Rarity all had blue eyes, but this creatures eyes...they were blue, yes, but something was off...looking at it's eyes made her feel...queasy...Fluttershy quickly shook her head and looked at the other creature.

This one was shorter than the tall one, but still taller than her. It was somewhat pudgy, not outright fat, but just...large. It had a small brown mane, tied into what looked like a tail on the back of it's head. It also had glasses, and behind them some dark green eyes. Its face was covered in pimples. It wore clothing as well.

Then, the creatures continued to speak.

"It can talk." the tall one said simply, still staring at Fluttershy with its 'off' eyes. "Most...interesting."

"Little pegasus...can you understand what we are saying?" The short one called up to her. She was reluctant to respond to the creatures who said such cruel things, but she did anyway.

"Yes, I can. You...said you were going to eat me." Fluttershy whimpered, still scared out of her wits.

"Yes, we are. Now come down here so I do not have to come up there." The tall one snapped irritably at her. He was immediately yelled at by the shorter one, "What the hell is wrong with you?" It then turned to Fluttershy.

"Look, pegasus, do you have a name?" The short one said calmly. To anyone else, it would have been obvious that they were trying to goad Fluttershy down. Fluttershy was nothing if not naive, however.

The fear seemed to overtake her usual shyness, if such a thing is possible, and she responded with "Fluttershy." The short one smiled used her hoofs...wait, those aren't hoofs! These things have claws like Spike! The short one used these claws to motion towards the ground.

"Why don't you come down here, Fluttershy? I promise that we won't try to hurt you, or eat you, or anything bad." The short one looked over at the tall one. "Well, I won't."

The tall one looked over at the short one, and looked as if it was about to say something, before the both of them turned towards a noise to their left. Standing there were three faces Fluttershy was glad to see. Twilight Sparkle, Rarity and Spike.

"Hey! Leave Fluttershy alone!" Twilight Sparkle cried, flaring up some of her purple magic in warning, and pointing her horn at the creatures. Rarity did the same with her blue magic. Spike, lacking magical abilities, just stood there, trying to look intimidating. It would have looked cute if not for the situation they found themselves in.

"Did you hear me? I said, if you value your safety, you'll leave Fluttershy alone, and go away! You hear me?" Twilight shouted once more. The short one seemed to take the threat seriously, and poked the tall one.

"Come on, Christian, we should just leave. We'll find something else to eat. Let's just-"

"You were going to eat her?!" Rarity shouted in disgust. "That is the most...simply...horrid...I can't even describe it!" She stamped her hoof down. "No! You are not going anywhere! We are taking you to the Princess!"

This final sentence was the breaking point for the tall one, apparently named Christian.

"Oh, this is just ridiculous!" Christian shouted, seemingly to itself. "We come here against our will, end up in this foreign land with no food. Then we find a pegasus, a creature that is supposedly a simple myth, alive and well. Then, when we try to take it back to camp, it wakes up, attacks us, and flies up a tree. Then, to top it all off, you show up, two unicorns and a bipedal lizard of some kind, also supposed myths, threatening to take me...us to some Princess? The fact that you can threaten at all..." Christian seemed furious. It looked towards the short one. "Come, Geo. I believe we will be leaving."

The short one, apparently called Geo, nodded, and as Christian stormed towards the two unicorns, began to follow.

Then suddenly, the two creatures were both enveloped in purple magic, lifted into the air, and slammed against a nearby tree.

"You are going nowhere! You were going to eat a pony! Do you have any idea how disgusting that is? You two are definitely coming with us!" Twilight growled at the two creatures. Geo seemed like she was very afraid, but Christian was not backing down.

"Unicorn, I suggest you let us down before I do to you what Chris Brown did to Rihanna!" It shouted in a voice that made Fluttershy tremble. It sounded like her a the Grand Galloping gala, when the animals would not love her.

Twilight and Rarity looked confused. "Who did to who?" Rarity asked.

Geo answered with "He means he is going to beat you senseless."

Christian nodded, and replied "Yes. Very much so."

Twilight just stared at what was now confirmed at a 'he' with an angry look on her face. Keeping her magic active, she walked up to where she was trapping the two.

"Listen up, whatever you are. I am going to use a spell to knock you out, and when you wake up, you will be in a dungeon. That will definitely happen if you don't stop being so mean!" Twilight shouted at the two.

Christian leaned towards her as far as he could, looked her dead in the eye, and said,

"Try me."

And with a bright purple flash, he was out like a light.

Twilight turned to look at the one called Geo. "Are you going to be as difficult?" she asked angrily.

Geo just stared at her, and then looked over at Christians unconscious form. When she looked back at Twilight, she was not happy. Her face was flooded with rage. Twilight noticed this however, and decided to skip the angry rant. A few seconds later, Geo was out as well.

The forest seemed silent around the ponies as they stared at the strange creatures that had attacked their friend. Fluttershy had found it a good time to fly down to the ground, but the gem still lodged in her arm made sure she could not stand on it. Rarity went over to the canary pegasus, and without words, hugged her dearest friend. Fluttershy cried, and cried, letting all of her fear out, while Rarity patted her on the back while whispering soothing words.

Twilight and Spike, however, where more interested with what they had just knocked out.

"What are they, Twilight?" Spike asked, a slight tremble in his voice.

Twilight looked down at her number-one assistant. "I don't know, Spike." She looked up at them. "I don't know."

After Fluttershy had stopped crying, they all decided to go back to Ponyville, so they could contact the Princess and let her know who or what they had found. Rarity and Fluttershy walked in front, the unicorn still holding the pegasus as she limped, while Spike and Twilight stayed at the back, the dragon standing guard while Twilight levitated the unconscious form of Christian and Geo.

They did not know what they would learn from these strange and seemingly hostile creatures, but what they did know was that they were dangerous, and apparently ate ponies. So they needed to stay vigilant.

This was just another part in the chain of events that was started and continually revolves around the two strange creatures, known only as Christian and Georgina.

Sorry, Geo.

The Interview

Back in Ponyville, everypony was still somewhat unnerved by the explosion from earlier in the Everfree Forest, but seeing as nothing had come to harm them, there was no cause for panic. For the citizens of this quiet town, nothing interesting had happened.

That is, until three ponies and a baby dragon came from the forest with two strange creatures in tow.

Rarity was still holding on to Fluttershy, who was still shaking from her 'experience'. Spike was trying to ward off the other ponies, who were all gathering around, trying to catch a glimpse of what Twilight and the others had come across. To them, the creatures were completely foreign. Nopony had seen anything like them.

Fluttershy was not taking the large influx of ponies very well, so the group sped up to Twilight's library. When they finally arrived inside, Twilight found that the tall creature, Christian, was too large to fit through the doorway. She did get him inside, but only after several minutes of changing his position, in which the citizens had much time to study the odd thing before them, and ask further questions, none of which I need you to go get would or could be answered.

The door finally closed with a slam, signalling to everypony to go about their daily business, and they did so, with disappointed looks and unsatisfied curiosity.

After letting the two creatures down in a corner, Twilight turned to Spike.

"Okay, Spike, I need you to go get Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie for us. We may need all of the Elements of Harmony here, just in case." Twilight meant to make this sound like a plea, but it came out as more of a command. Spike did not seem to mind.

"Sure, Twilight! Who should I go see first?" Spike asked, not really sure with himself.

"Applejack is closer. Try her. Now please hurry!" Twilight asked, nudging the baby dragon towards the door. Spike brushed Twilight off with a "Fine, fine", and opened the door to go and find the Element of Honesty.

Twilight turned to Rarity and Fluttershy. Rarity was eyeing the unconscious beings with caution, while Fluttershy was not looking at them at all, choosing to cover her eyes and stay on the opposite side of the room. She had gone through a traumatic experience. Twilight guessed that Fluttershy would rather be at home with her animals, but she was probably going to be needed here.

"Rarity, can you watch over these things while I send a letter to the Princess? I have a feeling that she'll want to know about this. I'm also not sure how long my spell will work for. A pony will go under for a few hours, but I'm not sure about them." Twilight said, motioning to the creatures.

Fluttershy mumbled something that neither unicorns heard.

"Fluttershy, what was that, darling?" Rarity asked, walking over to the pegasus in case she needed further comforting.

"Th-they said th-they w-were called hu-humans. I-I think..."

Rarity looked over at Twilight, hoping she knew something about these so called 'humans'. The look on Twilight's face told her otherwise.

"I've never heard of a human before. But it's clear that they are not nice creatures." Twilight said indigently. "I mean, they were going to eat a pony! That's sick!"

"You don't have to remind me, dear. I heard them. Vile beasts!" Rarity yelled in the direction of the creatures.

Twilight suddenly sighed in annoyance. Rarity looked over to see what was aggravating her bookworm friend, besides this whole situation.

"What's the matter, darling?" Rarity asked, genuinely curious.

Twilight looked over at her. "Remember how I said I was going to write to the Princess?" Rarity nodded in confirmation. Twilight looked towards the door and sighed once again.

"I need Spike for that."

///

Spike had already been running as fast as he could towards Sweet Apple Acres. Too many thoughts were racing through the poor baby dragons mind.

What were those things? Why were they there? I remember a red flash, and then...

Spike's proverbial train of thought was interrupted by a literal apple tree. Spike stood still, rubbing his head in pain. I need to pay attention to where I'm going, he thought to himself.

"Well hey there, Spike! Whatchya doin' out here?" came a squeaky voice with a southern accent. Spike turned, still rubbing his head, to see Apple Bloom looking at him curiously. Spike shook his head to try and get rid of some of the pain before running up to the yellow coated filly.

"Apple Bloom, I need you to tell me where Applejack is, alright?" Spike said hurriedly. Apple Bloom just looked confused.

"Well. Applejack'd be out on th' farm, buckin' apple trees. Why do ya need me ta find her?"

Spike just grabbed Apple Bloom by her shoulders and looked her dead in the eye. "Apple Bloom, this is an emergency. Please help me find your sister." Spike said, his voice showing exactly how serious he was.

Apple Bloom still looked confused, but went along with it anyway, and the two began searching for the orange earth-pony. It took about fifteen solid minutes, but they finally found Applejack bucking apple trees at the south-east end of the orchard.

"Howdy, Spike. What can Ah do ya for?" Applejack greeted kindly. She stood there, a smile on her face, but Spike did not have time for pleasantries.

"Applejack, I need you to come with me to the library right now! It's an emergency! We need all of the Elements right away!" Spike cried, pointing in the direction of the town. Applejack lost her smile, and her expression became one of worried curiosity.

"Well shoot, Ah'll be right there. Are you comin' too, Spike?" Applejack asked as she began to move towards the town. Spike shook his head.

"I have to go get Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie! Twilight, Rarity and Fluttershy are already there. I gotta go. See ya!" Spike called out as he ran in the direction of Dash's house, leaving Applejack to question what the hay was going on.

As it turns out, Rainbow Dash was found not too long afterwards, but not at her house. She was on the outskirts of town, planning pranks with Pinkie Pie. Score, that's both of them! I can be back in no time! Spike thought to himself as he ran up to the duo.

"Oh hey, Spike! What's up?" Rainbow Dash called out to him. Before he could answer, however, Pinkie Pie did.

"Oh oh oh! Spike's here! I bet I know what you want! Do you want gems! Because we don't have gems, silly? Why didn't you go to Rarity for that?" She gasped. "Did you and Rarity have a fight? What happened? Are you still friends? Because I can throw you both a party to get you-"

"Pinkie Pie, we have no time." Spike stopped her by holding a claw over the pink earth-pony's mouth. This of course did not stop her from talking, only from being coherent.

"Dash, Pinkie, this is an emergency! Twilight needs you both back at the library. This is a matter for the Elements of Harmony!" Spike declared. Rainbow immediately perked up.

"I've got your back, Spike! Hop on my back, we'll get there in no time!" Rainbow shouted, opening her wings and flapping them proudly. Spike did not hesitate, and jumped on immediately. The two took off, leaving Pinkie Pie in the dust.

"What about Pinkie Pie?" Spike yelled over the wind. Rainbow Dash just looked over her shoulder at him.

"Relax, Spike. When we were planning her surprise party a while back, she caught up to me. I don't know how, but she did. She'll probably be there before we are." Rainbow yelled back to Spike, just as they arrived at the library.

Pinkie Pie was already there.

The three opened the door to find Twilight pacing around the room, Rarity still glaring at the creatures, Applejack actually looking like she was going to charge over and buck them in the face, and Fluttershy still sitting on the other side of the room to the things that wanted to eat her, hiding behind her mane.

"What in tarnation are these things called again? Applejack asked Twilight, who just responded with "Humans."

Of course, Pinkie Pie had the strangest reaction to the humans.

"Oh wowie! What are those? They look silly!" Pinkie giggled. Of course, the giggling stopped when Rarity told them they had tried to eat Fluttershy. Pinkie gasped, and out flooded a torrent of questions that nopony knew the answers to.

"Where are they from? Why would they eat a pony? What are they wearing?" and so on.

Twilight called out for everyone to gather in the middle.

"Alright, everypony. Does anyone have any idea what these 'humans' are, where they are from? Anything?" Twilight asked in desperation. Nopony had a proper answer. Except Fluttershy.

"Um, if you don't mind me saying, but I remember a red flash and a loud bang. Then, I woke up with those two dragging me away to-" Fluttershy began, but stopped as the memory became to painful. Twilight immediately knew what she meant, and guilt overcame her.

"Fluttershy, I...think that means that these 'humans' came from another dimension." Twilight then looked at the ground. "And I think I may have brought them here by mistake."

The only person who gasped was Pinkie Pie.

Twilight looked around at her friends, waiting for a negative response. Instead, she was met with silence. Said silence lasted for a little while, until Fluttershy broke it once again, highly uncharacteristic for her.

"It's okay, Twilight. It's not your fault. You didn't know this was going to happen. I don't blame you." The canary pegasus said, calming her friend considerably. Twilight smiled sadly in response. She knew it was her fault, but silently thanked Fluttershy for her forgiveness.

Twilight then turned to Spike. "Spike, take a letter, please." Spike immediately pulled out some parchment an a quill from seemingly nowhere, and began to write everything that Twilight said.

Dear Princess Celestia,

The experiment you issued me has succeeded, but with disastrous results. The interdimensional portal I opened released two creatures called 'humans' who tried to eat Fluttershy!

Please, we either need you to come down here, or to go to Canterlot ourselves. We would feel much better if you could talk to these things, and see why they did what they did. It is both a matter of dire importance, and scientific inquiry.

Please respond immediately.

Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle

And with that, Spike took a breath and blew the letter away. Twilight then turned to her friends.

"Well what do we do now?" cried Rainbow Dash.

Twilight just looked up, out of a window towards Canterlot.

"Now, we wait."

///

Twilight was right about one thing. Spells work differently on humans.

With a pounding headache, Christian awoke from his magically induced slumber to find himself on the floor next to Geo, in some sort of library. What caught his attention, however, were the seven animals in front of him, all with their backs turned.

He had a feeling that his being awake would not sit well with them, and so did not move. He did what he felt he did best. Christian made mental notes in a few minutes, and noticed things others would overlook.

He observed.

Seven animals, two pegasi, two unicorns, two ponies, one lizard.

Pony one with orange coat, blonde mane. Wearing a hat. Green eyes. Tattoo of three apples on flank. Facial expression suggests rage. Does not seem the kind to take new situations with ease. Body structure suggests female. Possesses a stereotypical southern accent. Muscly. Overall, seems to be an average individual. I hate average.

Pony two with bright pink coat, dark pink mane. Blue eyes. Tattoo of three balloons on flank. Facial expression suggests whimsy. Seems overexcited, possibly an outgoing creature. Voice suggests female. High pitched voice...annoying. Bouncing up and down repeatedly. May be on some kind of narcotic. Thin. Seems to be the centre of attention. Seems to like it. Overall, annoying brat who enjoys attention. Can change that.

Unicorn one with white coat, dark purple mane. Blue eyes. Tattoo of three diamond on flank. Facial expression suggests worry. Further observation suggests not worry for herself but for others. Wasted effort. Posture suggests elegance, and...ugh, she has makeup. Suggests obsession with appearance. Voice suggests a high lifestyle. Wait...she was in the forest. Not the unicorn who captured me, but was involved. Overall, pompous woman, uptight, and definitely an enemy.

Quick scan suggests all are female, except lizard. Not sure.

Unicorn two with lavender coat, black mane with pink streak. Wait...this is the one who knocked me out! Instant enemy. Purple eyes. Unusual, for any creature. Has tattoo of pink star surrounded by smaller white stars on flank. Facial expression suggests...posture suggests...voice suggests...hmm...cannot seem to read this one. Further inquiry required.

Lizard with purple and green scales. Stands on two legs, odd. Facial expression suggests annoyance. Again, vying for attention, however, not receiving it. Voice suggests male. Was there, in the forest. Tried to look intimidating. Failed. Seems to have a high opinion of himself, much like white unicorn. Wait...lizard looking at white unicorn. Facial expression now suggests...euphoria...crush...further inquiry suggests secret crush. White unicorn looks his way, facial expression recedes. Can use this to my advantage. No tattoo.

Pegasus one had cyan coat, multicoloured mane. Currently flying. Rainbow mane...may represent homosexuality. Facial expression is one of anger-

...

No longer looking in my direction. Avoided detection.

Eyes red. Seems arrogant. Tomboyish. If homosexual, would most likely not be open about it, seem to be hotheaded, according to speech patterns. Body in thin, but healthily so, wings appear muscular. Tattoo on flank of cloud shooting rainbow lightening. Overall, arrogant and proud, with questionable sexuality, much like a certain human girl i know...

Must check on Geo.

Geo is unconscious. No bodily harm. Glasses intact. Looks...peaceful...no time for that. Geo fine, continuing observation.

Pegausu two-

This is the one I wanted to eat. Fluttershy.

Flank has tattoo of three butterfly's. Wings seem thin, undernourished, underused. Coat canary, mane bubblegum pink. Large wound on front-left hoof. No bandages. No one tried to heal her. Amusing, considering what she went through. Seems shy, like her name suggests...blue eyes...soft facial expression, one of nervousness...I...find myself...enthralled by her...

Still want to eat her.

Seems like something of an angel...nothing wrong with her...seems kind enough...

Well, brighter picture, darker negative. She has something to hide, I am sure.

Quick scan of surroundings. Two doors. One small, one large. Sunlight coming from underneath large, must be a way out.

Cannot use distraction...cannot risk unconsciousness...speaking of which, been longer than five minutes. Geo still unconscious. Suggests...brain damage...

Oh, this will not work to my advantage.

Can create distraction of some kind...could try just running. No, need to take Geo with me, cannot risk unicorn doing...whatever it did.

Whatever unicorn did, should not be scientifically possible. Cannot simply levitate someone, or knock them unconscious with a light.

Further observation required.

...

Still thinking of Fluttershy...

Lavender unicorn levitating letter...listening in...

///

"Everyone, the Princess has returned a letter. Let me read it out." Twilight called out to the other ponies, and without her knowledge, Christian as well.

My most faithful student,

This is a dire situation indeed. I am already on my way. I feel it safe to maybe conduct the questions at your library. If these 'humans' wake up on the ride up to Canterlot, who knows what would happen.

I appologise for the experiment, Twilight. I did not know what the results would be. I put you in danger.

I am taking my chariot, and I will be there soon. Luna is coming as well.

Take care,
Princess Celestia

Twilight finished reading out the letter, and looked to the rest of the Elements, and Spike. Looking over the group of friends, she looked at their reactions. They were all looks of determination, even Fluttershy.

"We finally get to ask these things why they would commit such horrible attrocities! We just have to wait an hour or so, and we will have our answers." Rarity exclaimed, looking over at the humans, lying propped up against the wall, still believing them unconscious.

They all gasped when Christian made himself known.

"We have time now. Ask me whatever you wish." Christian stated, rising to his feet, smirking. Fluttershy whimpered, but the others all looked at him with hateful expressions. Not a word was spoken. Just the faces.

"Not all at once, ladies." Christian said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Alright then. I have a question" Twilight said. "Who are you, and why did you try to eat Fluttershy?" she asked angrily. Christian could only smirk at her emotional reaction. Now that, i can read.

"I will answer your questions, ladies, but I have a few requests." The smirk never left his face as some of the ponies looked at him in disbelief. Here he was, standing in front of six ponies and one baby dragon who could kick his plot all the way back to wherever he came from, and yet he had the gall to stand up and demand something? Rainbow would have admired his guts if she wasn't so angry.

"What makes you think we-" Twilight began, but Christian cut her off.

"I am not finished speaking! My, my, the nerve of you people...ponies." Christian corrected himself. Before Twilight could reply, he began his list of demands.

"One, I wish to talk to all seven of you. One at a time. Two, I wish for Geo to be awakened. Three, I wish for you to interview Geo in the same manner as you do me. Questions?" Christian finished, to the shock and outrage of the ponies in front of him. Pinkie Pie raised her hoof. "Any questions from anyone besides the deranged attention seeker?" Christian asked, his facial expression not changing in the least as he shot down Pinkie Pie. She lowered her hoof, her hair deflated.

"What makes you think we would agree to those demands?" Twilight repeated, glaring at the human male in front of her. He chuckled slightly. "Something funny?"

"No, no, not at all, simple unicorn. I only ask for these things so as you get to know us, why we are the way we are, and why I tried to devour your succulent looking friend over there" Christian stated casually, as if he were talking about the weather, and pointing to Fluttershy, who subsequently cowered behind Rarity.

Rainbow Dash had had enough. "Nopony talks about my friends like that!" She yelled, flying towards him at full speed. This turned out to be her downfall, as Christian anticipated the move, noticing her aggravated twitching during his Fluttershy taunt, and stepped aside, causing Rainbow to slam into the wall were Christian used to be standing. She fell to the ground on top of Geo.

"Besides, I have a device that can kill all of you in a couple of seconds. Here, I will show you." Christian stated, that smirk still on his face, as he pulled out his iPhone from his pocket. Turning it on, he quickly scrolled through the apps until he reached the Countdown app. He opened it, and started the countdown.

"TEN. NINE. EIGHT. SEVEN. SIX. FIVE..."

Twilight began to panic. "Stop, stop, stop!" not realising he was bluffing. Christian stopped the fake countdown, and placed the phone in his pocket once more. Funny, i did not even know if that would work...

The only one in the room who did not look horrified at the fact that this human was willing to kill everyone in the room was Pinkie, who was actually counting down with the device, her hair poofy once again. This got her a stern look from Applejack.

"So, unicorn, do we have a deal?" Christian asked, still standing casually, as if nothing was going wrong,

Twilight looked at the others, who all looked at him, wanting answers. Twilight asked them one by one, and they all agreed to talk to the human, even Fluttershy.

"Splendid! This will be such fun!" Christian declared, lighting up in mock delight. He then closed his eyes. "Eenie meenie minie moe..." he muttered to himself, pointing at the different ponies with each word spoken. He finally rested on...Rarity.

"Well then, white unicorn, let us begin! Everyone else, please leave the room. Take Geo with you. Wake her up if possible." Christian ordered them.

With a grumble, the ponies and baby dragon left to go outside, Twilight levitating Geo with her. Everyone was outside the library, except for Christian and Rarity.

And with that, the first interview began.

///

Christian sat down, cross legged on the floor, and looked at the white unicorn in front of him.

"So, unicorn, tell me your name."

Rarity was hesitant at first, but she was all too aware of the device in his pocket that could kill them all (or so she thought).

"Rarity...my name is Rarity." she finally replied, looking at him with a mixture of hate and fear.

"Hmm, Rarity...fitting, somehow..." Christian mumbled to himself, before returning his attention to the unicorn in front of him.

"Rarity, I would like to ask you a few questions. The first and foremost being 'Where am I?' The second being 'How is it that equines such as yourselves can talk? The third being 'Tell me about yourself'. Aaaaaaaand...action." Christian stated, in the space of about twelve seconds.

Rarity took a deep breath, and began answering them. "Well...Christian, you are in Ponyville, Equestria. We can talk because we are taught as fillies. And myself...I am a unicorn, as you can plainly see, my job is to make dresses and clothing of all kinds for ponies everywhere. I am the element of Generosity." Rarity finished, refusing to look him in the eyes, though for different reasons than what he was used to.

"Intriguing...what do you mean by 'Element of Generosity?'" The human inquired.

Rarity looked at him, confused. "Everyone knows about the Elements of Harmony. You know, Generosity, Kindness, Loyalty, Honesty, Laughter and Magic?" She did not understand how he had not heard of them before. Everyone in Equestria knew...she thought for a second. Oh, yes, of course, he's not from here...

Christian shook his head. "I am afraid I know not what you speak of. The elements I know of are of the Periodic Table, not of 'Harmony'. Hydrogen, Oxygen, Helium, the real elements."

"What in Equestria do you mean 'real elements'? I've never heard of any of those!" Rarity cried. This just caused Christian to shake his head.

"Of course you have not. Oxygen is what you are currently breathing, my dear. Now, tell me, if you represent Generosity, how exactly are you generous? Also, which 'elements' the the others possess?" Christian asked.

Rarity harrumphed. "I am generous because when someone needs something of mine, I give it. When someone is in need, I help." Christian looked confused.

"So, by helping others, you are magical, somehow?"

"Yes, I am. I am the Element of Generosity.

"Of course you are. Now, what do the others represent?"

"Fluttershy is Kindness, Rainbow Dash is Loyalty, Pinkie Pie is Laughter, Applejack is Honesty, and Twilight Sparkle is Magic."

"Fluttershy is the tasty morsel I met in the forest...Rainbow Dash is most likely the one with rainbows everywhere...Applejack must be the one with apples on her flank...and Pinkie Pie must be the attention seeker. Which leaves the lavender unicorn as Twilight Sparkle."

Rarity was somewhat surprised. "That was a very logical assumption." Christian simply nodded.

"Now, Rarity, what about the lizard?"

"Who, Spike? Oh, he's not an Element. He's Twilight's personal assistant."

"Yes, yes...so, on the topic of the lizard..."

"He's a dragon."

Christian looked visibly shocked. "A dragon." He repeated simply. "That puny thing is a dragon? A real, fire breathing dragon?"

Rarity glanced at him. "Surely you have dragons where you come from..."

"The dragons in my world are mythological, just like pegasi and unicorns. And magic."

"You don't have magic? That's dreadful!"

Rarity noticed Christian taking a quick look at the door, and smiling evilly before looking back at her. She thought nothing of it.

"Not as dreadful as the crush little Spike has on you."

That caught her attention. "How...do you know about that?"

"Oh, it is written all over his face. He looks at you like a regular Adonis."

"Who?

"Never you mind. So, your reaction suggests that you know he likes you. And yet...you do not let on. Why is that?"

Rarity looked very, very uncomfortable. Exactly what Christian was looking for. "I...I don't want to talk about that..."

"Why not? Do you not like dragons?

"No...I mean, yes...but not..."

"Does Spike mean that little to you, dear Rarity?"

"You...can't..."

"Why not, Rarity? Tell me why."

"I DON'T LIKE HIM BACK! I DON'T HAVE A REAL REASON, I JUST...CAN'T LIKE HIM THE WAY HE WANTS!" Rarity yelled at the human before her. Getting something like that off of her chest felt great, even if it was to a complete stranger, and to a monster such as this one.

That feeling immediately vanished upon hearing the door slam.

Rarity looked towards the door in shock, then back towards Christian, who had a satisfied grin plastered across his face.

"You...knew he was listening..."

"Yes I did, my dear. Now, run along before your situation with Spike gets any worse."

Rarity glared at him, unable to comprehend that something could be so...evil...tears began to fill her eyes and she ran out of the room, charging through the door and running to her boutique.

Christian put his hands behind his head, satisfied with his progress.

They brought us here against our will...I will get them back for that. But if this is all it takes...

Christian smirked to himself.

Too easy.

This is the next step in the lives of the only humans in Equestria, Christian and Georgina.

Sorry, Geo.

The Diarchy

Meanwhile, on the royal chariot in the skies outside of Ponyville...

Not far from Ponyville, the two Princesses of Equestria were taking the royal chariot to see exactly what it was that Twilight had summoned. Celestia, on the right, was very worried about the safety of her most faithful student, and her fellow Elements. She was also feeling guilty about how if anyone was hurt, it would be her fault.

Luna, on the other hoof, did not know what to feel.

"Sister, do you believe that these 'humans' are truly dangerous?" The Princess of the Moon asked her sister.

"I don't know, Luna. These 'humans' in the report seem like nothing more than savage beasts if they wished to eat a pony...but Twilight alluded to them being capable of speech and advanced thinking..." Celestia shook her head. "In all my years, I have never seen or heard of intelligent creatures actually choosing to eat other sentient creatures. It is a rather confusing situation."

The two sisters sat in silence for a few seconds longer, before Luna noticed the look on her elder sisters face. It was one of guilt.

"Tia...it was not your fault." Luna placed a hoof over her sisters back. "The letter did not say anyone was hurt. You did not know what would happen. You have nothing to feel guilt over." Luna said, trying to comfort the Princess of the Sun.

Celestia simply sighed, and did not respond for a while. When she did, it was unrelated to their previous topic. "We are almost there, Luna. Maybe we can get some answers."

The rest of the trip was sat in silence, until the chariot landed in front of Twilight Sparkles library. The princesses were prepared to go inside for this meeting, and so were surprised when the Elements and Spike were standing outside, surrounding something. No doubt these 'humans', trying to keep them out of the public eye, Celestia though to herself.

The chariot landed, and princesses of Sun and Moon alike stepped off, walking over to the Elements of Harmony. Twilight was the first to spot them, and she hurriedly bowed, quickly followed by the others.

"Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, we have a bigger problem than first anticipated." Twilight told the two princesses. Celestia had her full attention on Twilight, but Luna was somewhat...distracted by the bouncing pink mare who was vying for their attention.

"Twilight Sparkle, please, tell me everything that has happened since you sent the letter." Celestia asked. She did so with an urgency only seen twice before, when Nightmare Moon was freed, and when Discord ruled the lands. She stared at Twilight in a way that would pierce the soul of most. Twilight knew she didn't mean to be terrifying right now, but...

"Alright, well Princess..." Twilight began, before being cut off by Pinkie Pie.

"Oh, oh, I can tell the story? Pretty pretty please with a cherry on top?" The party-loving earth-pony asked in her usual elated fashion.

Twilight looked sceptical, and was going to tell her off when she saw the look on Celestias face.

"Pinkie Pie, I admire how you can remain so happy in such a dire situation. Please, do go on." Celestia complimented. She then cast a look at Twilight that said what harm could it do?

"Well first I was going to try and prank people with Dashie, but then Spike came along and he was all 'It's an emergency' and I was all 'okie-dokie-lokie' and then I raced Dashie and Spike to the library and I won and I was super happy! Then we went inside and Twilight told us about these two silly looking monkey thingies called 'hue-mans', and I was surprised! I know everybody, and I mean everybody in Ponyville, so it made no sense that I'd never met these silly hue-mans before! But Twilight had made them go to sleep by using her magic! Then we sent you a letter, and then we waited and it was super boring, but then you wrote back! Then one of the 'hue-mans' woke up and then pulled out this little gadget that started counting down. Then he said some mean stuff to me, and then he kicked us all out except for Rarity. Now they're talking, and I bet they'll be bestest friends!" Pinkie shot out in a single breath.

Nopony made a sound. They were all staring at the pink mare who was looking up at Princess Celestia with her big blue eyes. "Did I do good? Huh, Twilight? Did I? Did I? Huh, huh, huh?" Pinkie asked Twilight excitedly, while the unicorn in question just stared at her, simultaneously surprised at the speed at which Pinkie explained their predicament, and how the Princess had actually sat through the whole thing.

"Yes, Pinkie, you did very...good." Twilight said, causing a happy squeal to erupt from the pink mare, who proceeded to hop around the group happily. The rest of the Elements, Spike and Luna all looked exasperated, but Celestia looked quite amused.

"Alright, so to sum up Twilight, we have two humans who wish to eat other sentient life forms in there, alone, with Rarity." Celestia looked at her best student with a disappointed look.

"We assumed if any of us tried to listen in, then he would use that device to hurt us. So, unfortunately, yes, Rarity is alone." Twilight couldn't look the Princess in the eye. "Um, only one is awake. The other one is still unconscious. We don't know what gender this one is. It's...over there.

How Celestia and Luna had not noticed this before alluded the princesses both, and they walked over to the unconcious form of what the Elements knew as Geo. It was fully clothed, was wearing glasses, and had a small mane atop its head. The rest of it had no hair whatsoever. Its face was covered in pimples. It was also rather...large.

Applejack interrupted the Princesses train of thought.

"Actually, now that Ah think 'bout it, that was kinda a stupid thing ta do, Twilight," Applejack said out loud, though intended for herself. She turned to Spike. "Spike, maybe you could sneak a look in and listen ta what those two're talkin' 'bout."

Spike gave a little salute, and then quietly pried the door open, and tried to listen in. The Elements were standing there, unable to hear themselves.

"Well, Spike? What're they talking about?" Rainbow whispered to the baby dragon.

Spike looked surprised. 'They...they're talking about...my crush on Rarity!"

The Elements gasped, while the Princesses looked confused. They all knew about Spikes crush. What shocked them was how Christian could have possibly known.

"How did he..." Applejack started, before Pinkie once again cut in.

"Maybe he can read minds! Oh no! Our deepest, darkest secrets will be revealed, just like when the Cutie Mark Crusaders were Gabby Gums!" Pinkie gasped.

Twilight shook her head. "I doubt he could read minds. Even the princesses can't do that. And besides, that would take-"

"I DON'T LIKE HIM BACK! I DON'T HAVE A REAL REASON, I JUST...CAN'T LIKE HIM THE WAY HE WANTS!"

Everyone shut up and looked towards the door to the library. Not actually towards the door itself, but towards Spike, who was frozen in place.

Fluttershy spoke up, the first time the Princesses had heard her speak since they last met her. "Oh my goodness. Spike, are you-"

But Spike didn't hear them. He simply slammed the door shut, and ran off.

For the third time that day, everyone sat in complete silence.

"-alright?" Fluttershy finished quietly.

Suddenly, Rarity burst though the door, tears streaming down her face, and she ran off towards her boutique.

From inside the library, a voice could be heard. It seemed to be...chuckling.

"Let me see...next, I would like to speak with Pinkie Pie, si vous plais?" the voice from the library spoke.

Twilight looked at Celestia. "This...is what we've had to deal with."

Celestia stood up straight. "Don't worry girls. Luna and I will take care of this." With that, the princesses of the Sun and Moon walked into the library to confront this wicked creature. They closed the door behind them.

///

Christian looked at the two equines in front of him. He...did not approve. He did, however, run a quick analysis on the two in front of him.

Two equines, both with horns and wings.

First one tall, white coat and rainbow mane. Regal appearance, with a tiara and gold coverings over hoofs. Body structure suggests female. May be...royalty. Tattoo on flank of the sun. Facial expression expresses...confidence, but also kindness. Interesting.

Second one shorter, but still tall. Dark blue coat, medium blue mane. Tattoo of moon on flank. Also wearing regal-esque attire. Less confident.

Both probably not used to talk-back, considering status. Let me change that...

"If you do not recall, I asked for Pinkie Pie. You know, the annoying bundle of cotton-candy? I did not ask for whatever you two are."

Celestia looked down at the human before her, who was sitting on the ground in a cross-legged manner. She cleared her throat before she spoke.

"Human, I am Princess Celestia, ruler of the Sun and the Day. This is my sister, Luna, ruler of the Moon and the Night. We are the rulers of this land, and we demand that, since we are the highest authority Equestria has to offer, you show us some respect."

Luna gave her a look that said well said, sister.

Celestia watched as the human stood. Her eyes widened. He was taller than her! The human smiled, although both princesses doubted it was genuine.

"Oh, yes, of course, my apologies, Princesses. I had no idea I would be greeted by royalty." Christian took a bow. "Well then, ladies, my name is Christian. I am from a little place called Earth. I was taken here against my will, along with my roommate and friend Georgina." He paused. "Do not call her 'Georgina'. You will not get a pleasant reaction. Call her Geo."

"Well, Christian, we came here because you were described as a threat by my sisters student student. Apparently, you tried to eat a pegasus. Is this some sort of social norm where you hail from?" Luna asked the odd creature before her.

"No, of course not, Luna. I-"

"That is Princess Luna to you."

"Nevertheless, Luna, I only wished to eat your pegasus subject because I was hungry. Is that not what one does when one his hungry? Eat?" Christian asked, his voice filled with condescension.

Both of the Princesses were shocked. Not only did the human not express regret, or apologise for trying to eat Fluttershy, but he did not show the slightest but of respect for royalty, and had the gall to speak to them as if he were speaking to young fillies!

"Now listen here, Christian! You come into our land, try to kill one of our subjects and eat her, and then proceed to insult the Elements of Harmony, and make Rarity cry. You are a horrible creature. What do you have to say for yourself?" Celestia asked, raising her voice at Christian, hoping for a reaction, or submission. Anything.

"Hmm, what do I have to say for myself? What I have to say is I asked for Pinkie Pie, not you! So get out, or I will use the device in my pocket to blow you both into oblivion."

What disgusted both Luna and Celestia was that this creature not only threatened to kill them both, but he said it in such a way that made it seem as if he would find such a thing boring.

"Idle threats will get you nowhere, Christian. Now-"

Christian smirked, reached into the pocket of the strange garb he wore, and pulled out a small black device. He pressed a button, and suddnley...

"TEN. NINE. EIGHT. SEVEN. SIX-"

Celestia was quick to act, enveloping the device in her golden magic, and putting large amounts of pressure on the device. The device sparked, cracked, and was compacted into a ball. The Princess let it drop to the floor with a clang, and waited for Christian's reaction.

He simply stared at her, his eyes shining with a certain...suddenly, Princess Celestia felt as if she was going to be sick. As soon as she looked away from his eyes, she no longer felt queasy. Celestia simply looked at other parts of his face, which at the moment, were contorted with rage.

In a dark voice, Christian spoke to the two. "You take me from my world, against my will. You knock me unconscious over a simple misunderstanding. You drag me to this...library of sorts, and then, you crush my possessions."

He looked at the two of them, his face still showing pure rage. The Princesses were prepared for an outburst, when suddenly...

His face went back to normal, and his smirk returned.

"You really do not know how to treat guests properly."

Once more, the Princesses could not believe him. They just destroyed the only form of control over the situation he had, and yet he continues to act like he has the power.

Luna turned to Celestia. "I cannot handle talking to this creature any more unless we are treated with some respect!" Before Celestia could stop her, Luna turned to Christian and picked him up with her dark blue magic, and slammed him against the wall.

This causes a chuckle from the human. "Really? Have you two never had to speak to an unruly subject before?"

Even when physically threatened, he refused to admit defeat. Either he was an idiot, or he had some trick hidden away.

"No, we have not!" shouted Luna in her Royal Canterlot voice. "All of our subjects are loyal to us! We have never needed to resort to methods such as these before you arrived, human!"

Christian smirked once again. "So, what, you two are Diarchs?"

"Yes!"

"Oh, intersting! Has this always worked for you?"

"Yes!"

"Hmm...so you have never felt the need for absolute power? One of you over the other?"

This comment made both Princesses pause. He couldn't possibly know...could he?

"You know," Christian started, "in my world, monarchs do not last long. They all turn bad after a while. We do not trust them. One in particular, named Adolf Hitler, killed more than six million people over the course of twelve years. So, do not feel surprised that I show you no respect."

They were horrified. Never before had they heard of such slaughter. It was...they did not think it possible.

"Now, if you would not mind, I would like to be let down, and then I would like a private audience with Pinkie Pie." Christian asked calmly.

"Again Christian, you have no power in the situation. Why do you continue to act as if you do?" Celestia asked, confused. "Do all humans try to exert control in every situation?"

"Not all of us, no."

"Christian, we have heard the whole story from Twilight Sparkle, or rather, Pinkie Pie, but we haven't heard it from you. Would you mind explaining your side?"

Christian smiled. Genuinely.

"Indeed, I will. But only if this lets me continue with my interviews with the Elements."

"Oh, fine. Just...tell us how it happened." Luna growled.

"Alright, since you asked for it." Christian cleared his throat, and proceeded to tell his side of the events.

"It was an average day in my home city of Melbourne. I had just won another game of Mario Kart with Geo, and she had gone to the fridge to get me some Pepsi. She returned, and we began to argue over who the greater sex was. Then, without warning, a red portal opened up on the other side of the room.I was sucked in immediately.

"The next thing I remember was waking up with my face in a mud puddle with Geo standing over me. A few items had come with us, including the fridge. However, the fridge was for drinks only, and the other fridge that had our food did not come with us. So I suggested we go hunting.

"The next thing we know, we discover a pegasus, a creature that in my world is nothing more than a myth, with a butterfly tattoo and a large gem shard stuck in her arm. Pardon, fore-hoof. So, since we had no food, and humans do not function well without meat, I decided to take it with us back to camp to cook and eat. The pegasus I now know as Fluttershy decided it was a good time to wake up, kick me, and fly up a tree. Then she started speaking.

"Mind you, talking animals are not exactly common in my world, so I was surprised when she began screaming for help. I believed it at the time to be a simple parlor trick, and still wanted to get the damned thing down. Of course, it then began actual conversation with Geo, who tried to coax her down. Geo argued with me about wanting to eat her, and I argued back saying that I no longer wished to now that i knew she was sentient, allowing your 'faithful student' the pompous fashion designer and the dragon-yet-to-be to sneak up on us.

"They levitated us off of the ground, which I still maintain to be scientifically impossible, and then knocked us unconscious. Next thing I know, I awake in here, looking at six talking horses and a bipedal lizard sending a letter into thin air. I made my presence known, tricked them with my little 'doomsday device', which I assure you is nothing more than a phone that can play sound affects, and asked for an interview with each of them.

"I interviewed Rarity, and cause her extreme emotional pain. She was there in the forest, and is one of the reason I am here now, so I took my vengeance. It also seemed to have a profound affect on Spike. Good. Anyway, then you show up, trying to command me into submission, and levitating me again, destroying a rather expensive piece of equipment, and then telling me to tell you what happened, which I just did.

"Now, if you will excuse me, I still have an interview with the...charming Pinkie Pie. If you would vacate the premises, then I can get started, and be out of your main faster."

The two sisters stood there, absorbing the information they had just been relayed, piece by piece. They were confused as to what Mario Kart and Pepsi were at first, but those thoughts left their minds as Christian told the rest of the tale. By the end of it, they had some form of understanding as to what had happened, though they were not entirely happy with Christians taunting of Rarity.

"We need to discuss this in private. We...will leave you with Pinkie Pie."

"Excellent. You could not have made a better choice. Now shoo." Christian smirked once again as he shooed the Princesses out of the room, and ushered Pinkie Pie in, much to their chagrin.

"Hiya, Christian! Remember me? I'm Pinkie Pie! You said some mean stuff earlier, but I forgive you!" Pinkie said, still bouncing up and down. This annoyed Christian to no end, and he put his original plan into action.

"Pinkie, I do not like you." he said simply, causing Pinkie to stop bouncing, and to stay in midair just long enough to defy physics before dropping to the ground.

"Now, I am going to tell you exactly why I do not like you.

"You are overly happy, which is usually an indication that you are either on some sort of narcotic, or are secretly depressed and are trying to hide it. You are the kind of person who thrives on attention, a social butterfly, who cannot stand to be alone. Your 'friends' are probably aware of your depression, and simply hang around you to try and make you feel better about yourself. They do not really care about you. They do not want to be there, but the feel guilted by you."

"But I-"

"This interview is over. Run along home now, Pinkie Pie. Or even better, do what everyone else really wants you to do, go jump off of a bridge."

Pinkie sat there on her haunches, looking up at Christian with her big blue eyes. Slowly, they began to water up, and as her hair deflated (something Christian was going to ask about, but decided against it), she burst into tears.

"WAAAAAAHA-HA-HA-HAAAAAA!"

Pinkie's tears flowed out like a river, drenching the floor. She turned, and just as Rarity did before her, ran out of the library, bolting through the door, and charging back to Sugar Cube Corner.

Christian stood there, wide eyed.

That...was quick.

That was the next (somewhat cruel) step in the chain of events circling around the stragest creatures in all of Equestria, Christian and Georgina

Sorry, Geo.

///

Author note: Next chapter is set outside the library, and the Elements reawaken Geo, and give her an interview of their own. Enjoy!

The Other Human

Twilight turned to the remaining Elements, looking at them with a twinkle in her purple eyes.

"Don't worry, girls. If anyone can teach Christian some manners, it's the Princess." With that remark, Twilight smiled, confident that her words would ring true.

The girls relaxed slightly, though what Christian did to Rarity and Spike was still fresh in their minds.

"Do ya'll think these humans are all like that?" Applejack asked, not to anyone in particular.

"Well, we've only spoken to one." Rainbow countered. "We can'T really find out."

The group fell silent, not really sure where to go from there. The silence was broken by Applejack, who looked behind them, at the wall of the library next to the door.

"Well, there is one way..."

Fluttershy was the first of understand what she meant, and immediately began to panic. "No, please! I-I don't want the other one near me too!"

"Sugarcube, she is near you."

"Yes, but, um, it isn't awake." Fluttershy turned to Twilight. "Please don't wake it up, Twilight, I beg you!" Fluttershy stood there, her face rather close to Twilight's. Fluttershy noticed the proximity, and backed off. "I mean, if that's alright with you..."

Twilight sighed. "Guys, I think we should wake it up. After all, we need as many sides to the story as possible."

Applejack and Rainbow nodded, while Pinkie Pie bounced around, not really paying any attention. Fluttershy seemed to be the only one against it.

"Please, Twilight? They tried to eat me." Fluttershy whimpered.

Rainbow flew over to her fillyhood friend. "Don't worry, 'Shy. If it tries to hurt you, I'll beat the hay out of it!" she declared. Fluttershy hid behind her mane from Rainbows loud voice, but smiled in gratitude nonetheless.

"Alright, everyone stand behind me." Twilight said, and Applejack, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash did as they were told. Who knows what would happen? The only one to not comply was Pinkie Pie.

"Pinkie!"

"Oops, sorry Twilight! What are we doing?"

"Get behind me, I'm going to wake up the human."

"Okie-dokie-lokie!"

Everyone was behind Twilight now, as she charged up her horn, preparing to wake up the creature before her. The horn in question began to glow a light purple. They were all looking on in anticipation.

'Alright, here goes nothing!" Twilight cried, and with a flash, a beam of purple hit the creature in front of the group.

They waited. Nothing happened.

"Hey, uh, Twilight? Maybe ya'll should try again." Applejack said, confused as to why the human was not awake.

"No, you see, it's actually the same spell as the one that knocked them out. If I use it again, and it's actually awake, then it'll fall asleep again." Twilight replied.

They all watched to see if the spell had worked. And not long after, the human began to stir.

///

Uuuuhhhh...

My head hurts...

It...it really hurts! OW?! What the hell? Did I get hit by a plane? Christ alive!

Geo's eyes began to flutter. She was awake, just unable to open her eyes.

"Hey, it's waking up!"

"Gee, you think?"

"Don't be rude, RD!"

"Sorry. I think Christian's attitude is rubbing off on me..."

Oh goodie, people. Maybe they can tell me why I feel like I headbutted a brick wall for a couple of days.

It took some effort, but Geo finally opened her eyes. Her glasses were still on her face, much to her shock. You'd think I'd be able to fell 'em, Geo thought.

Even with her glasses on, the shapes in front of her were still blurry. They were...brightly coloured. She raised her hands to run her eyes, removing her glasses first, hoping this would help her see whoever had woken her up from that weird dream she was having. A little yellow pegasus would have been cool, though...damn Christian, ruining things for me, even in my dreams...

Her eyes began to focus. Oh tHank God, I can see. Now, who can explaoh God I'm still asleep. There is a unicorn.

"Ugh..."

"Hello to you too."

Geo snapped awake. Hey, it's like that dream with the pegasus. They can talk.

"Hey there, little guys. Oh, aren't you cute?" Geo said, looking at the colourful assortment of horses in front of her.

"Let's see...we got a purple unicorn...and a pink pony...and an orange pony in a hat...and a blue pegasus...and a...oh hey, i remember you! You're that pegasus form that dream I had in the forest!" Geo scratched her head as the yellow pegasus hid behind the blue one. "Huh. I didn't know dreams had continuity."

The animals in front of her had confused looks on their faces. "You...aren't dreaming. We are actually in front of you." The purple unicorn said.

Pffft...yeah right...

"Pffft...yeah right." Geo dismissed the unicorns claim. "Look, if I were awake, you wouldn't be talking. Horses don't talk. Unicorns don't exist. Neither do pegausus." Geo paused. "That...sounds wrong somehow. Pegasusus...oh, wait, pegasi. There we go."

Geo turned her head to the right, trying to look behind her. "See, look. If I were awake, what I'm about to do would hurt like hell." She raised her arm, curled her hand into a fist, and slammed it into the wall behind her.

There was a few seconds of awkward silence before Geo cried out.

"SON OF A GODDAMN WHY DIDN'T ANY OF YOU STOP ME AUUUGH!"

Geo clutched her hand, still sitting on the ground propped against the wall. Her fingers were bleeding, she could definitely feel that.

Geo was sitting there, grumbling to herself, looking away from thE horses in front of her.

Applejack spoke up. "Listen, human, we ain't got time to convince ya'll that yer awake, so-"

"No, no, the pain is convincing enough. The searing, goddamn pain." Geo mumbled.

"Alright, so, I'm here, in a world with talking horses, unicorns and pegasi." Geo looked behind the group to see the town, and a few onlooker staring at her. "You have a town. That usually means people." She looked back at the purple unicorn. "So, you got people?"

Twilight looked confused. "If you're asking if we have other humans, then the only other one here is-"

Geo cut her off. "Christian. Yeah, I remember form the forest."

Geo sat there for a few seconds more, dwelling on what happened in the forest. Suddenly, her green eyes shot wide open, and she quickly stood and looked at Fluttershy.

"Oh, crap! I am so sorry! I didn't know pegasi were real and we had no food and humans kind of need meat and I didn't want to but Christian convinced me and first impressions and I'm so so so sooooo-"

"Woah, woah, woah. Slow down there." Applejack said, her voice raised somewhat. "We woke ya'll up for a reason, and that reason was questions. We ain't gonna try'n hurt ya'll." She gave Geo a stern look. "Unless ya'll provoke us."

Geo calmed down a little bit, still looking at Fluttershy with a look of pure guilt on her face. 'Alright...alright. I'll answer your questions. Again, I am so sorry. it was just a misunderstanding." Geo slumped against the wall behind her, and slowly slid into a sitting position.

Twilight cleared her throat. "Alright then. My name is Twilight Sparkle. I-"

Geo snorted with laughter. "I'm sorry, your name is Twilight? Oh God, that is not a popular name where I'm from."

Twilight frowned. "Why not?"

"It's the name of a book series about vampires and werewolves. The first book was alright, but the rest sucked. Then, the movies came out, and people began to hate them!" She giggled. "Sorry. It's not your fault." She cleared her throat. "My name is Geo." Geo extended her hand.

Twilight knew the gesture as a hoof-shake, but...

"How does that work with claws?"

Geo looked confused. "I know my nails are bad, but claws? Really?"

She looked at the confused faces, and realisation dawned on her. "Oh, my fingers. Right. These are not claws, far from it. I can't cut things with them. They're used for grabbing tools." She opened her hand, and held it in the air so they could all see. "See? Opposable thumbs and all."

Twilight nodded. "Like a chimp."

"Yeah, like a chi-HEY!"

Twilight backed away. "Woah, I'm sorry."

Geo sighed. "No, I should be sorry for overreacting. I've been known to...get angry for no reason. Speak my mind when it's not really necessary. Tell the truth when I should lie. ThinGs like that."

Applejack glared at her. "Lying ain't ever alright."

Geo shrugged. "Well, my Mum taught me a rhyme as a kid, something about 'white lies'."

Sometimes the truth can make your heart ache,
So sometimes a lie is better to take.

Applejack thought she knew that poem from somewhere, bit shrugged it off.

"Well then, howdy. I'm Applejack." Applejack greeted, trotting over and extending a hoof, which Geo grabbed and shook. Applejack wasn't used to the fingers, so it felt kind of weird.

The blue pegasus flew up to her. "I'm Rainbow Dash, fastest flier in all of Equestria." She looked angrily at Geo. "You tried to eat my friend. What the hay is wrong with you?! Can't you just eat daisies or fruit or something, like an normal pony?"

Geo sighed. "Alright, look, Jesus. I'm sorry about your friend, it was a complete misunderstanding. To be fair, I tried to stop Christian from getting her down from tree, but then you guys showed up and..." Geo suddenly looked really angry, and looked at Twilight. "Hey! You knocked me out! That's how I got here!" Geo then proceeded to yell. "What the hell was that for? I wasn't going to do anything!"

Twilight looked at her. "Alright, we both made some mistAkes. Look, we'll discuss that later. You've got ponies to introduce yourself too."

Geo mumbled something incomprehensible, before growling "Fine."

"Alright, Rainbow Dash, fastest flier in Equestria...Applejack, the..."

"Apple farmer."

"Right, apple farmer...Twilight Sparkle, the..."

"Librarian."

"Huh, no kidding...That just leaves..."

Geo's vision was suddenly obscured with pink.

"Hiya, Mr. Geo Human! I'm Pinkie Pie!"

"Yeah, hey there Pinkie Pie. Nice to...did you say Mr?"

Pinkie Pie just smiled. "Yep! I don't know if you're a mare or colt, so I just assumed-"

Geo interrupted by putting her hand over Pinkie's mouth. The sudden motion almost caused Rainbow Dash to attack, until she saw it was just to get the pink mare to shut up, not to hurt her.

"Please, don't assume. I'm a girl. Or mare." Geo assured.

Pinkie stopped trying to talk through Geo's hand (now wet with spittle) and just smiled. Geo removed her hand.

"So, Pinkie, what do you do?"

'Well, Geo, I work over at Sugar Cube Corner. That's a bakery! I make all sorts of cupcakes and pies and cakes and sugary treats for everypony! And I throw parties all the time! I'm super good at it too!"

Geo nodded, making a 'not bad' face, before asking Twilight who else there was to introduce.

Twilight just pointed at Fluttershy.

Geo looked at her sadly. "Oh. Yeah..."

She stood up, and began to slowly and cautiously walk towards the canary pegasus. Fluttershy was trying to hide behind Rainbow Dash, who was glaring angrily at Geo with her red eyes.

Geo kneeled in front of the two. She looked at Rainbow. "Look, I'm not going to hurt your friend. I just need to apologise."

"You can apologise through me. I'm not letting you near her after you tried to eat her!" Rainbow growled.

Geo sighed, and pinched the bridge of her nose. "I already explained. It wasn't my idea, nor was it my fault, nor did I want to." She looked back at the cyan pegasus. "Look, I need to do this. I promise I will not hurt her."

Rainbow looked like she was going to kill Geo. "You'd better not." was all she said before she turned and whispered something to Fluttershy. After s little whispering, which Geo did not hear a word of, Rainbow moved out of the way, exposing Fluttershy to the human female.

"Um, hey, Fluttershy."

Fluttershy just whimpered.

Geo rubbed the back of her head.

"Listen, Fluttershy, I really am sorry. I didn't mean to scare you, I didn't want to...eat you. I'd never even seen a real, live pegasus before you. Trust me when I say I am a nice person, and what happened was just a misunderstanding. You seem nice, and I'd like to get to know you. Again, I'm sorry." Geo smiled as best she could, and extended a hand towards the timid pegasus.

Fluttershy just looked at it for a few seconds, and Geo feared her apology was not accepted. But, at the last second before Geo was about to give up, Fluttershy lightly touched her hoof against her hand.

"Apology accepted. You seem...nice. Nice ponies don't eat other ponies, so..."

There was a few seconds of awkward silence.

Geo, without a word, stood up and walked back to her spot against the wall. She didn't need to say a word, her face said it all.

She then looked at Rainbow. "You know what? I like your determination. Willing to fight off a creature woith unknown capabilities just to save a friend." Geo smiled. "I wish my world had more people like you."

The ponies looked confused. "Your world doesn't have nice people? That's so sad!" Pinkie Pie cried, making a sad face.

"Well we do, but...they aren't as common as we'd like." Geo took a deep breath, and let it out. She then looked at the purple unicorn with the unfortunate naMe.

"Alright, Twilight. I've been introduced to all of your friends." Geo smiled. Twilight just shook her head. "Actually, there are two more. Rarity, who's a unicorn like me, and Spike, a baby dragon."

Geo's face scrunched up in thought (causing Pinkie to giggle) before she could picture the two. "Oh yeah, they were both in the forest." She paused. "Uh, why aren't they here?"

"Well they were, but...well, your friend..."

Geo sighed. 'Oh God, what did he do this time? No, wait, let me guess. Christian asked to speak to you individually, and then revealed something to her that Rarity thought was a secret, or made her reveal something to Spike, and she ran off in tears?"

The five ponies stared at her. "How in tarnation did ya'll guess that?" Applejack cried.

Geo smiled sadly. "I've known Christian for fourteen years, and lived in the same apartment with him for six of those years. I know more about him than he cares to mention."

Geo lost her smile. "Seriously, though. Christian can be mean, and can also be downright sociopathic. Don;t judge him to harshly, though. He's had probably the single suckiest life I've ever heard of." She chuckled morbidly. "And I've read Ann Frank's diary.

"So, where is Christian, anyway? I'm probably going to have to be the one to keep him in check." Geo proclaimed. The ponies looked at her oddly.

"Well, he-"

Suddenly, the door to the library opened, and two large horses trotted out. They both had wings and horns. One was black and blue, the other several colours.

The one with the black coat looked really angry. She looked at Pinkie Pie. "Alright, he wants to talk to you."

"Oh, yay! I can get that big ol' meanie pants to turn his frown upside down!" Pinkie declared, bouncing into the library and closing the door behind her.

Everyone was silent for another time that day as they stared at the Princesses, who in turn stared at Geo. She felt...intimidated.

"Um...hey, I'm Geo." The human said, extending a hand. "Who're you?"

The black one looked like she was going to yell, when the white one stepped in, cutting her off. "Hello human. My name is Princess Celestia, and this is my sister, Princess Luna. We are the rulers of Equestria."

Geo stared for a second, her hand still extended, before dropping to one knee. "I'm sorry, your majesties, I'm not used to...er, royalty." Geo looked up at the white horse, who was very tall, though Christian was still taller. Celestia, as she had introduced herself, looked at Geo with a small smile, seemingly pleased with the formalities.

Luna was not convinced, but kept silent.

"Please rise, Georgina." Celestia said, happy that things were going right for a change.

Geo twitched slightly.

"My name is Geo."

Luna looked down at her. "We are the rulers of this land, and we will call you whatever we wish."

Celestia looked at Geo. "I apologise for my sister, she-"

Geo looked really angry. "I hate my name, so I choose to be called Geo for a reason, not just for friends. Everyone calls me Geo. And so will you." She looked confused for a second. "How did you even know my full-" Realisation dawned on her face.

"Christian..."

Geo suddenly realised something else. They had left Christian alone in a room with Pinkie Pie. That was not a good combination.

"Princesses, we-"

"WAAAAAAHA-HA-HA-HAAAAAA!"

The doors burst open once again, and this time Pinkie Pie burst out, her hair straightened out, and she ran, tears streaming from her face.

Everyone was silent.

The silence lasted a little while longer before Rainbow spoke up. She was furious.

"Alright, that does it. Rarity and Spike can handle an insult, but Pinkie Pie can't! I'm going in to teach this guy a lesson!" She flew to the doorway, and looked back at the group. "Somepony go comfort Pinkie Pie. In fact, somepony go find Rarity and Spike as well." She looked at Christian through the doorway, who was smirking evilly. "I'll take care of this guy."

The door slammed closed, leaving everyone in stunned silence.

Applejack broke said silence. "I'll go get Pinkie Pie, see if she's alright. Twilight, you get Spike and Rarity." Twilight noddEd, running of in the direction of Carousel Boutique, as Applejack ran off to Sugar Cube Corner.

This left Celestia, Luna, Fluttershy and Geo in front of the library, still in silence.

"So..." Geo started. The other three looked at her.

"Um...why do you all have tattoo's on your sides?"

That was the next step in the chain of events centering around the strangest crwatures in all of Equestria, Christian and Georgina.

"Hey!"

Sorry, Geo.

///

Author notes: Next chapter, Rainbow Dash fights Christian, Applejack comforts Pinkie Pie, Twilight finds Rarity and Spike, and Geo talks with the Princesses!

Sorry this one's a little short. My minimum is 3,000 words per chapter, and I barely met that. Yeah, I'm tired.

P.S. There's a hidden message in this chapter. PM me if you find it for a free internet.

The Fight

Meanwhile, at Sugar Cube Corner...

Throughout Ponyville, the town is filled with houses and shops of all different uses. Selling fruit, vegetables and all sorts of other things. However, most of these buildings look...very similar. The same yellow hay roofs, the same grey stone or brown wood exterior, the same windows, slightly dirtied. It is a shame that in these buildings have no flair.

Of course, there is an exception to every rule; in this case, there are several, but the one that stands out the most is the semi-famous Sugar Cube Corner.

The bakery/confectionery in question looks so out of place because of it looking like a gingerbread house.

The walls on the ground floor looked the same as any other house, save for the windows and front door, which are a marshmallow-pink, much like the resident baker and party-goer Pinkie Pie. The glass in the windows is tinted this colour as well. This floor has the kitchen, the counter, and a guest room for parties, which Pinkie throws often.

Then comes the roof, with it's chocolate-browns and icing-whites, looking much like a delectable treat as what the owners are selling. Circular tiles shaped like cookies decorate it. The chimney is made of purple bricks, and is itself slathered with 'frosting'. On this floor is where the owners of the store, Mr. Carrot and Mrs. Cup Cake reside, along with their infant twins, Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake.

Finally, a large turret sits in the middle of the roof, pointing at the sky. This turret contains loft that serves as the living quarters of Pinkie Pie an Gummy, and is shaped much like a cupcake, with three candles coming out of the very top, fake fire and all, currently pointing towards the now grey sky, which was scheduled for rain later that day.

It is this very loft where Pinkie Pie finds herself, no longer crying, but still very upset over what Christian had said. And it is just outside this very bakery/confectionery that Applejack finds herself, looking to comfort the party mare.

Applejack pushed the front door open, causing the little bell on the upper door frame to ring, alerting the Cakes to her presence. Mr Cake was in the back, baking, so it was Mrs. Cake who came to Applejacks side.

"Oh hello, dearie. Are you here to see Pinkie Pie?" Mrs. Cake inquired, genuinely worried about the mare she honestly considered as a daughter. "She just ran past everyone, scaring the daylights out of all our customers! I swear she had tears running down her face!"

"Yeah, Mrs. Cake, Pinkie ain't feelin' like herself right now, so Ah've come to offer her a little comfort." Applejack said with a smile. Mrs. Cake nodded in response.

"Oh, thank you dearie. I have to keep tending to the customers, so I haven't been able to go up and ask her what's wrong. If you would be a dear and head up right away...oh, sorry, more customers. I have to go!" Mrs. Cake said, as she quickly moved back behind the counter to serve the awaiting customers.

With that, Applejack trotted over to the foot of the stairs, took a calming breath, thought about what she was going to say, and made her way up.

After making it past the Cakes residential floor, where Pound and Pumpkin were probably sleeping, Applejack went up one floor further, to the entrance to Pinkie's loft.

The door to the loft is a bright pink, with a heart shaped window. Very fitting.

Applejack raised one orange hoof, and with a solid knock knock knock, alerted Pinkie Pie to her unannounced guest.

Applejack was at first met with silence. After about a solid minute of waiting, she tried again.

Knock knock knock.

"C'mon, Pinkie. I know yer in there."

Silence. Then, "Go away. I don't wanna talk."

To Applejack, she knew that tone of voice. Pinkie had been crying, and not just the hysterical, overreacting kind. The voice Applejack heard was an 'I hurt inside' voice.

"Pinkie, please. Let me in. I just want to talk, see what went wrong."

There was silence for the longest time, and Applejack thought Pinkie was still refusing. She was about to knock again, when she heard hoofs on a wooden floor, getting closer to the door. The light under the door disappeared slightly, meaning somepony was blocking the light. Definitely Pinkie.

Another long pause, before the door could be heard unlatching, and then slowly being opened. Applejack had first though 'When did Pinkie put a lock on her door?' but those thoughts immediately left her head as she saw the state her pink friend and fellow Element was in.

Pinkie was a shade darker than average, which usually happens whenever she is depressed or angry. Her hair was straight, which Applejack knew was not a good sign, as this is almost exactly what she looked like during the 'Party of One' incident a little while back. But that's not what worried Applejack.

What worried the orange farm mare was that last time Pinkie was like this, she was depressed, but was very angry about it, going so far as to yell at her friends. This time, however, Applejack saw no anger or hatred in her baby-blue eyes.

For the first time, Applejack saw pure, unaltered misery in Pinkie Pie.

The two stood there for a few seconds, Applejack very concerned for her friend, Pinkie Pie very, very sad.

The silence was broken, but only barely, by Pinkie. "Come in," she whispered, moving out of the way, allowing Applejack trot into Pinkies loft.

Applejack had never actually been in Pinkie's loft before. In fact, the only ones who had were Rainbow Dash during the 'Party of One' incident, the Cakes, who had built this place anyway, and Gummy, who probably didn't count.

So Applejack trotted inside, taking a quick look around, satisfying her curiosity, but also knowing that that's not what's important right now.

As soon as Pinkie closed the door, Applejack spoke.

"Now Pinkie Pie, Ah don't know what that monster said to make ya'll upset like this. Ah didn't think anything anypony said could faze you, of all ponies." Pinkie was not faring any better, still looking completely miserable, eyes on the floor. Applejack decided to cut to the chase, and get to why she was here. "If'n it's alright with you, Pinks, would ya'll mind tellin' me what he said?"

Pinkie still looked at the floor. Apparently, at that moment, those pale brown boards were the most interesting thing in the world.

Applejack smiled, even knowing that Pinkie couldn't see it. "Take yer time, sugarcube. Ah'll wait." She meant it, too. She was the Element of Honesty, after all.

Pinkie did take her time, but when she did speak, her voice was so horribly dejected that Applejack simultaneously wanted to cry along with her, and go beat Christian into next month.

"Well, I bounced into the room, h-hoping that we could be f-friends, even after he said those mean things to me." Pinkie began. Applejack was pretty sure she knew where this was headed, and Christian was going to suffer for it, but she didn't say a word, and let Pinkie continue.

"He was...standing there, all super tall and stuff, a-and I said 'Hiya, Christian! Remember me? I'm Pinkie Pie! You said some mean stuff earlier, but I forgive you!' T-then he said 'Pinkie, I do not like you.' Then, he s-said 'You are overly happy, which is usually an indication that you are either on some sort of narcotic, or are secretly depressed and are trying to hide it. You are the kind of person who thrives on attention, a social butterfly, who cannot stand to be alone. Your 'friends' are probably aware of your depression, and simply hang around you to try and make you feel better about yourself. They do not really care about you. They do not want to be there, but the feel guilted by you.' Then I t-tried to say something, but he said 'This interview is over. Run along home now, Pinkie Pie. Or even better, do what everyone else really wants you to do, go jump off of a bridge.'

"I started crying really loudly, and I...ran back here, and all the way up the stairs, and I slammed the door, and locked it, and then you came here." Pinkie finished.

It came as no surprise to Applejack that Pinkie could remember the entire conversation word-for-word, because she could remember every little detail about literally everypony in Ponyville.

"But, Ah don't understand, sugarcube. You never let insults get to you before, because you know, deep down, that they ain't true." Applejack tried to reason. "Ah mean, Ah know that Ah don't feel sorry for ya." Pinkie gasped "Yer a good friend, Pinkie. Ah don't need to feel sorry for you to want to hang around you. Ah want to hang around you because you really are one of my best friends. That goes for the others, too." Applejack quickly said, causing a sad smile to appear over the pink party pony's face.

"Ah also know ya ain't on any, uh, what'd he call 'em? Nar-cot-tics? Or drugs, or whatever. Ya'll are bouncy and happy all the time 'cause that's who ya are. He don't know squat." Applejack said indigently.

Pinkie's smile got a little bigger, and Applejack could see the colour starting to return to her pink friend. Time for the home stretch.

"And Ah certainly know ya'll ain't depressed. Ah mean, look at ya. You, of all ponies? Ya'll are the happiest, perkiest pony Ah've ever met. I know you ain't depressed."

This, however, did not have the same effect on Pinkie as Applejack would have hoped. Pinkie did not light up further, nor did she darken. Her smile, however, vanished completely.

"Um, Applejack?" Pinkie whispered.

"Yeah, sugarcube? If he said something else that upset you, then ya'll have to tell me." Applejack replied.

Pinkie sighed. "No, he didn't say anything other than that."

"Then Ah don't get it. You know none of what he said is true, so why're you still sad?"

"..."

"Please, Pinkie. Why did what he said have such an effect on ya?"

"Because..."

"Yeah?"

Pinkie stood there in silence for a few seconds, before replying.

"I'm not really depressed, but...I have been hiding something..."

Applejack was again confused, something of a natural state with her. "What do you mean ya'll are hidin' somethin'?"

"Well, like I said, I'm not depressed, but I am sad, and not just from what he said."

"Please, Pinkie, ya can't hide things from yer friends, 'specially if they're makin' you feel awful on the inside."

Pinkie lay there on the bed, which looked a little too soft for Applejack's liking- Wait, why in the hay am Ah thinkin' of somethin' like that at a time like this?

"Please, Applejack...I don't wanna say. Please, please please don't push the issue. I'll..." Pinkie sighed. "I'll tell you, and everyone, when I'm ready."

'Sugarcube, Ah can't stand to see ya like this...but if this is what you want, Ah'm behind you."

Pinkie looked up. "Really?" she sniffled.

"Yep." Applejack replied simply, smiling.

Pinkie sniffled, then giggled. "I'll tell you guys someday...and it'll be a doozy!" Pinkie's face then went serious. "I need to go back to the library, don't I?"

"Yeah, you do, sugarcube."

Pinkie smiled. A full blown smile. She had an idea. She will make Christian be her friend, and she will make him nicer. If she could do it for Cranky Doodle Donkey, she could do it for anyone!

With this thought and sudden determination, Pinkie's hair suddenly went poof into it's natural, cotton candy-esque state, and her full colour scheme returned, bright as ever.

"Alright, Applejack. I won't let anything that big ol' grumpy-tush says to me make me sad anymore, because I know it's not true! He can't hurt me anymore!"

Applejack returned the large smile. "That's the spirit, Pinkie Pie! Now let's head back to the library and show him what your made of!"

"Yeah!" Pinkie shouted, bouncing off of the bead and proceeding to bounce towards the door.

"Pinkie, wait a second!"

Pinkie stopped bouncing, levitating in mid air while Applejack spoke, who was used to Pinkie doing things that shouldn't be possible.

"Even though ya'll ain't sad cryin' anymore, sugercube, Christian still made ya cry." Applejack went very serious. "Ya don't mind if Ah...rough him up a bit for it, do ya?"

Pinkie Pie looked a little evil, not something Applejack was used to seeing.

"Sure, Applejack. Anything you want."

///

A little while beforehand, on the inside of the library...

A shape blocked some of the light from the doorway, casting a shadow across the room Christian was standing in. He recognised the shape to be Rainbow Dash. She looked behind her to the rest of the ponies standing outside, and said "Somepony go comfort Pinkie Pie. In fact, somepony go find Rarity and Spike as well." She looked at Christian through the doorway, who was smirking evilly. "I'll take care of this guy."

Then, the cyan pegasus with the rainbow mane slammed the door shut behind her. She had a grin on her face to match.

"So, you think you can just waltz into our town, start trying to eat ponies, make Rarity and Spike run away, and then insult the Princesses? That's low," she began, "but then you took it that extra step too far and made Pinkie Pie cry."

Christian stood there, not a sound coming from his lips. He was intent on letting Rainbow get her little monologue over and done with.

"Rarity can take insults, and I know she'll be fine in a little while when she talks it over with Spike. He'll be fine, too. Even the princesses can handle a little talk back." Her expression darkened.

"But nopony ever makes Pinkie Pie cry and gets away with it."

Christian did not react. He simply stood there, hands behind his back. He knew what was coming, and how to make it come sooner.

'Ah yes, of course. The annoying pony with cotton candy hair cannot take a simple insult? Perish the thought." Christian replied.

Rainbow Dash lowered herself down to the floor, and stood on her hind legs, putting up her fore-hoofs in a fighting stance. "Put 'em up! You've hurt too many ponies to not go unpunished!"

Christian again stood stock still, not showing any emotions. Silent.

"I said put 'em up! What are you, chicken?" Rainbow declared.

"No, no, my dear, I will get my hands dirty if necessary." Christian replied, as if he didn't have a care in the world, and certainly not a raging pegasus in front of him. "However, this incident got me thinking. You are the element of Loyalty, yes?"

Rainbow did not drop her guard. "Yeah, so?"

"Well, as the Element of Loyalty, I would expect something like this to happen. You, trying to avenge your friends honor. It would be touching if you were speaking to anyone else but me." Christian replied. "I cannot help but wonder, however..."

"About what?" Rainbow was getting inpatient, and was thinking about attacking him first. Exactly what Christian was planning for.

"Well, you show much loyalty, and that is to be expected. But, I look at your mane, and I look at how you stuck up for Pinkie Pie, and I cannot help but think 'Is there something more here?'"

Rainbow, not the sharpest tool in the shed, again growled "Yeah, so?"

"Oh, there is no need to hide it anymore, Rainbow. I know that you care for Pinkie in 'that' way. You do not have to be ashamed."

Time stopped for Rainbow. An enormous wave of rage washed over her after hearing what Christian said, but not just that. No, it also brought back memories of her being teased in Flight school. All the hanging out she did with Fluttershy, along with the colour of her mane, sparked a lot of teasing about her being a filly-fooler. All of the bad memories, and all of the taunts and chants hit her at once.

As such, she didn't even have to think twice when she flew across the library towards Christian at full speed.

Exactly what Christian had been waiting for.

He dived to the side just as Rainbow had flown by, and she smacked full force into the wall, just as she did not too long ago. The same wall, in fact.

But Rainbow was so full of adrenaline, she didn't feel the pain of the impact. She unstuck herself from the wall, and aimed at Christian again. When she shot towards him, this time he wasn't able to dodge.

Christian hit the wall with Rainbow's hoofs pressed against his stomach. If they had been pressed against his ribs, they would have been broken for sure.

Christian slumped to the ground in faux-pain, acting like he was seriously hurt. He coughed a few times to add to the effect. While the slam did hurt, Christian had had far worse.

He sat there, clutching his gut, while Rainbow hovered in front of him.

"That was easy...you sure talk tough for a guy who can;t even defend himself!" Rainbow declared proudly.

Christian coughed before answering her. "Well, you can certainly *cough* hit. I am defeated."

Rainbow grinned. "Oh yeah! I'm the best!"

"I am sorry." Christian said.

Rainbow looked at him with disapproval. "You'd better be. You made Pinkie Pie and Rarity cry, and called me a filly-fooler!"

Christian looked up at her. "What are you on *cough cough* about? That is not what I am apologising for." He smirked. "I am sorry for offending you and getting your secret love wrong."

Rainbow was stunned. "W-what?"

"Pinkie Pie does not seem your style anyway. Who else would be more fitting to you?" Christian put a hand to his chin. "Hmm...Applejack seems your type. It is her, is it not?"

Rainbow cried out in rage, dropped to the ground, turned around, and bucked him as hard as she could in the chest.

Christian felt it. He could feel one of his ribs fracture. But he had no time to feel pain. He had vengeance to wreak.

'*cough cough* Oh, goodness, I am so sorry for getting it wrong again! May-uh-maybe it is really Twilight Sparkle?"

"GRAAAAH!"

She kicked him again. He felt another rib fracture, but he had no time for pain. He was working.

'No? Maybe...ugh, maybe Rarity?"

She kicked him a third time.

"Yes, you are right, she is *cough cough* far too uptight for the likes of you."

Kick. The coughs were real this time, and Christian could taste blood. He knew she would not kill him, and that was all he needed. He just needed to block out the pain, and do what he loved best.

"Well, that *cough* leaves *cough cough* only one more ca*cough*ndidate." He gasped. "It seems your secret crush is Flu-"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Rainbow shouted, kicking him hard in the face this time. Not hard enough to break anything, or to knock him out, but enough to hurt. A lot.

"AUGH! Ah, ahha, ow*cough*." Christian seemed down for the count. He was still trying to speak, but only air was coming out, not words.

He did, however, managed to say something through the coughs and the pain that pissed Rainbow off to no end.

"S...struck a n-nerve, did I?"

Rainbow was facing away from him at the time, flying towards the door. She stopped at that, but did not turn, nor did she acknowledge what he said.

"I *gasp* know I *cough* did."

Facing away, she was lost in her own thoughts, too busy to notice the human get up, too lost in her own memories to hear him limp up to her. All she could think about were the same sentences over and over. What the bullies in Flight school had teased her and Fluttershy with.

"Rainbow Cash!"

"Filly-fooler!"

"Aw look, it's Rainbowshy!"

"Hey, look at the Flutterdash girls!"

She had always gotten so mad over these things, these names, these chants, but she never revealed why.

It's 'cause they were right.

It was then that Christian decided to jump on her. Literally jump from his position and grab her out of the air, pulling her down to the floor.

Rainbow had not been expecting this, and gasped and she hit the floor, and Christian sat of her back, stopping her from using her wings. From there, he grabbed the back of her head, and began slamming her face into the ground repeatedly.

No matter how hard she struggled, she couldn't get him off of her. He weighed heaps. He just kept slamming and slamming until Rainbow was bleeding from a broken nose, her eyes were bloodshot and she was seeing stars, which took a grand total of thirty-eight slams.

He stood, leaving her beaten and bloody on the ground. She was fully awake, but to disoriented to move. It was then Christian decided to kick her as hard as he could on the side. She had chosen this unfortunate moment to try and roll onto her back, and this caused his kick to hit her in the stomach.

There was a short pause before she let the contents of her stomach grace the floor with their presence.

Her nose was broken. She couldn't see straight. She couldn't stand. Her stomach was bruised, and she felt like she was going to vomit again. Christian was pretty sure he'd won this fight. And with not a lot of effort on my part.

However, he felt something was...missing. She was a pegasus, after all. What's to stop her from flying away?

He bent down on one knee, and rolled Rainbow Dash onto her stomach, letting her chin reside in her own vomit.

She said that she was the fastest flier in Equestria. He smirked evilly.

Not after this.

He leaned in, right next to her left ear, and whispered to her, "You love to fly, do you not? This is what causes you the greatest pleasure in life?"

She knew what he was about to do, but she couldn't move. She was barely conscious. Nonetheless, her mind was screaming at her body "NO! STOP HIM! DO SOMETHING!, to which the body replied I can't. I just...can't.

Christian grabbed hold of her left wing, feeling the feathers, and the muscles in the wing. He could feel her heartbeat through it. It was quite fast.

He had a firm grip on the wing, holding it in both hands. He was going to break it like one would try to bend and iron bar.

All Rainbow Dash could think was "No, please, not those..."

But it was too late.

With pulling both his hands and turning them in opposite directions, the bones in the wing broke with a sickening SNAP, making sure Rainbow would never fly again.

His work here was done.

Thankfully, that didn't actually happen.

Before the wing could be snapped, Applejack burst into the room.

"WHAT IN THE HAY DO YA THINK YOU'RE DOIN' TO RAINBOW?!" The orange farm pony bellowed, charging at him.

Christian did not anticipate this, and it caused him to pause and look at the door. He had actually frozen in place. He was so enthralled in his revenge that he didn't take notice of the world around him before it was too late.

Applejack had reached the human, who had finally realised what was happening, and turned around, bucking him full force before he could do a thing about it.

Applejack's bucks are the most powerful in Ponyville, if you don't count Big Mac, and Christian felt it. At least, he did before he slammed into the wall, losing all consciousness.

Twilight ran in, restraining his sleeping form with a binding spell, while Rarity, Spike, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and Geo all ran in afterwards, followed by the Princesses.

Everyone was panicking. Rainbow was seriously hurt, and was in immense pain. Rarity wasn't strong enough to levitate her, at least all the way to the hospital. Fluttershy didn't know what to do. She did however, turn to the Princesses.

"Well? Can you levitate her, Princesses?" Fluttershy demanded. She was very serious about it. She had more to thank Iron Will for than she cared to admit.

"Yes, of course, Fluttershy. We may not be able to make it in time. While levitating, we can only walk, due to the concentration the spell requires." Celestia replied.

"Well then do it! Please, please Princess, I be-" Fluttershy began, before Geo cut in."

"I'll do it."

Everyone looked at her. Normally, no one would have accepted, but these were desperate times.

"O-okay, Geo. Please be careful." Fluttershy begged.

With that, the pudgy human girl walked over, picked up the blue pegasus, flung her over her shoulder, and began to run as fast as she could towards the door.

As she got there. she stopped.

"Uh, I'll be needing directions, maybe? Anybody think of that?"

Fluttershy nodded hurriedly, and quickly ran over to Geo, going with her and showing her the way to the hospital.

This left everyone in the library looking at the unconscious human, Applejack, Rarity and Twilight with hate, Pinkie Pie with sorrow, and the Princesses with pity.

No one had seen this coming, but they knew they should have.

Geo and Fluttershy were going as fast as they could towards the hospital. The sky was grey, as the later half of that day was scheduled for rain. Suddenly, the heavens opened up, as if weeping for the damaged pegasus, while many ponies were looking on in horror at Rainbow Dash's state.

All Fluttershy could think of was "Please be okay, Rainbow Dash. I don't know what I'd do without you.

Geo was thinking something else entirely. "What the HELL were you thinking, Christian? I just hope they can forgive you for this..."

Indeed, it was a sad day for the ponies of Ponyville.

This was the next step in the large chain of events centred around the two strangest creatures in all of Equestria, Christian and Georgina.

Sorry, Geo.

///

Author note: No chapter update tomorrow. I have holiday homework, people. The bane of my existence must be finished sometime.

Next chapter, Geo and Fluttershy wait for Rainbow Dash to get better, while the others discuss what to do with Christian. But seeing what he can do...what reason do they have to trust Geo?

The Hospital

A short while later, at Ponyville General Hospital...

Upon seeing the sorry state of Rainbow Dash when Geo and Fluttershy had arrived with the cyan pegasus, the doctors had immediately sprung into action. Taking her from Geo's arms and placing her on a hospital bed and wheeling her away was one of the hardest things Fluttershy had ever had to watch.

The two had waited for hours, waiting for the doctors to say something to them. Fluttershy had been crying a lot, with Geo unable to do anything but try and comfort her and quiet her down, to no avail. The canary pegasus had repeatedly stated her worries, not knowing the full extent of Rainbow's injuries. She had been pacing in the waiting room, over and over, unable to rest.

Not long after they had arrived, the other elements arrived with Christian. His unconscious form was taken to a different part of the hospital. Geo wanted to go see, but one look at Fluttershy and she was there to comfort.

It was then that Nurse Redheart had asked for an audience with them. This was announced over the intercom.

"Fluttershy, please see Nurse Redheart in room 233, Fluttershy to room 223, thank you."

Throughout the whole walk through the white halls, Fluttershy continued to voice her concerns and somewhat dark thoughts concerning what had happened, through choked gasps and tears.

Geo was receiving odd stares from pretty much everypony, doctors and patients alike. Nopony knew what she was, the suspicion was natural. Ponies moved to the other end of hallways, as close to the walls as they could when she passed by. It was not what you would call an ego boost for the human girl.

When they arrived at the door of room 233, Fluttershy was somewhat hesitant to enter.

Geo sighed. "What's wrong, Fluttershy? You know, besides your friend being bashed by mine."

"What if she can never walk again? What of she can never fly again? Oh my goodness, it's all my fault. I was there, outside the library. I should have stopped her, I should-" Fluttershy whimpered.

Geo bent down to Fluttershy's level, and put a hand on her back. "She'll be fine, Fluttershy. Rainbow looks like a tough girl. And it's not your fault. How did you know that Christian would do what he did?"

Fluttershy was looking at the floor, now unresponsive.

"Fluttershy? I think we should head in." Geo said, trying to get a response.

Fluttershy, without a word, but with a quivering lip, opened the door to room 233, and went inside, followed by her human counterpart.

Nurse Redheart was inside, standing in front of a curtain that no doubt held Rainbow Dash behind it. She turned at the sound of the door opening, and had begun to greet Fluttershy.

"Oh good, Ms. Fluttershy, you're here. I need-" Nurse Redheart immediatley stopped talking at the sight of the human who followed the pegasus inside. She was shocked, curious, and a little frightened.

"What...is that?" Nurse Redheart asked, staring at Geo, making her slightly uncomfortable. Nopony else in the hospital had stare at her like that.

"Look lady, who and what I am doesn't matter right now. What matters is that Rainbow Dash is hurt, and we want to know how she is! So tell us already!" Geo growled at the earth pony nurse.

Nurse Redheart was still interested in what Geo was, but complied when she was the look on Fluttershy's face.

"Alright, now before I show you the patient and tell you what's wrong, I just want to assure you that she'll be fine. We've treated much worse before." the nurse assured the two. "I'm going to pull the curtains back. We've cleaned up the blood, so she will at least look presentable."

And with that, she pulled back the curtain, revealing the cyan pegasus to the two.

Lying in the bed was an unconscious Rainbow Dash, with bandages around her face. Her lower half was covered in a blanket. It was true, it wasn't that bad. It didn't stop Fluttershy from bursting into tears, though.

Geo bent down and patted the pegasus on the back for a bit once again, trying to get her to calm down. A small part of the girl was angry that she wouldn't shut the hell up, but for the most part, Geo was sympathetic.

After Fluttershy had stopped crying, Nurse Redheart continued. "Rainbow Dash has a broken nose, hence the bandages on her face, and some slight head trauma. Nothing too serious. She also has a large bruise on her stomach." the nurse shook her head. "We've had Rainbow Dash in here before for worse. Trust me, she will be fine."

Nurse Redheart didn't stop there though. "She'll need a few days in the hospital for her nose to heal, and for the damage in her head to heal itself. The bruise isn't that bad either. But I need to ask," she looked up at Geo, "how did this happen?These do not look like injuries someone would get from crashing. She had to have been fighting somepony."

Geo decided to explain. "Well, Nurse...erm..."

"Redheart."

"Right, right...My friend Christian and I were taken from another dimension..."

From there, Geo explained their entire predicament, from being here to the fight. Nurse Redheart waited in rapt attention until the story was over before asking any questions.

"You...are a completely new species! What are you called?"

"Human."

"Where are you from?"

"Earth..."

"Are you male or female?"

"Oh come on, is it that hard to tell? I'm a girl!"

"I'm sorry, but the doctor in me wants to run so many tests on you!"

Geo thought back to Christian. "Didn't you notice the other human they brought in?"

"Um...no, I didn't. Where is it?"

"He, and you should know, it's your freaking hospital."

Nurse Redheart suddenly took off to ask someone where this 'other human' was, leaving Fluttershy and Geo alone with Rainbow Dash.

Geo looked out the door. "Hey, come back!" She gave a frustrated sigh before looking back at Fluttershy. "She's not coming back. Jesus tap-dancing Christ..."

Fluttershy was still looking over at Rainbow Dash, still unconscious on the bed. The canary pegasus still had tears in her eyes. "What...if she doesn't wake up?"

Geo frowned. "You heard the doctor. It's not as bad as it looks."

"But-"

"No buts, Fluttershy. She'll be fine. trust the doctor, alright?"

"Um...not to be rude, but she's a nurse..."

"Splitting hairs, Fluttershy."

"S-sorry."

The two stood there, waiting for a while in awkward silence, the only noise in the room being the heart monitor.

Geo really didn't like the silence.

"Hey, Fluttershy, your, uh, what did you call it?"

"What did I call what?"

"The tattoo on your side."

Fluttershy brightened up slightly. 'Oh, my Cutie Mark. Yes, what about it?"

Geo paused before continuing. "Well, I was wondering, you said they just...appear after you've found your special talent?"

Fluttershy smiled, realising what Geo was doing, or rather, trying to do. "Geo, I know you're, um, trying to calm me down. A part of me knows that Rainbow Dash will be just fine...it's just, um, she's my oldest friend, and I overreacted." Fluttershy lost her smile. "I don't know what I'd do without her..."

"You really care for her, don't you?" Geo asked. What she was implying flew right over Fluttershy's head.

"I care for all of my friends."

"No, I mean you care care for her, right?"

"Are you saying that I care for her more than my other friends? I couldn't do that. I love all of my friends equally." Fluttershy smiled, still not getting at what the human was implying.

Geo sighed. "No, what I'm asking is, do you love her?"

"Yes, she's my friend."

Geo looked a little angry. "Okay, Fluttershy? There's innocence, and the there's ignorance." She shook her head slightly, before returning her gaze to the canary pegasus.

"I'm asking, are you in love with Rainbow Dash?"

Fluttershy gasped, finally getting it. "Oh, no! I mean, I love her like a friend, but...not like that! I don't like mares in that way!"

Geo was sort of confused. "So, you say you don't have feelings for her...yet you cry like you just lost a soulmate when she's even slightly hurt."

Fluttershy sighed and blushed. "I'm just...emotional like that."

"Ah."

Fluttershy looked at the Geo, and asked "How can you be so open about questions like that? Is...are two girls...um, normal, where you're from?"

Geo shrugged. "Well, yeah, kinda. I mean, there are people who still oppose it, but it's mostly accepted."

Fluttershy smiled. "Your world doesn't seem as bad as you make it out to be." She paused. "Um, if you don't mind me saying that, that is."

Geo was silent for a while before she responded. "My world...has a lot of problems. Seriously, a lot. We have war, we have famine and disease, poverty, you name it. But," she herself smiled, "there are good points too. It's not totally horrible, though from what the princesses told me in front of the library, Equestria is much better."

"Yeah, I guess it is...if you don't min-"

"Fluttershy, are you really that polite?" Geo laughed. "We all have our own opinions. If i don;t want to answer a question, then I'll tell you. You don't have to ask."

Fluttershy blushed a bit, and hid behind her bubblegum pink mane. "Oh, um, sorry..."

"You also don't have to apologise for every little thing." Fluttershy opened her mouth. "Don't apologise for that, either."

"Well...um, Geo..."

Geo looked at the pegasus through her glasses. "Yeah, Fluttershy?"

"Um, well, we were talking about, you know, filly-foolers earlier, and I was wondering if, um, if you don't mind me asking that is, I, um..."

Geo sighed. "Fluttershy, I'm open about who I like. It's not exactly a crime to like the same gender."

"Oh, does that mean-"

"I like both, Fluttershy. Guys and girls."

Fluttershy blushed, but looked puzzled. "Is that common in your world as well?"

"Not so much, though it's just as accepted."

"Oh, okay."

The two stood there, in more awkward silence, which was again broken by Geo, who was noticing . "So, about your cutie mark...how did you get yours exactly?"

Fluttershy lit up. "Oh, well, it all started back in my hometown of Cloudsdale..."

Geo stood there and listened to Fluttershy's whole story. The filly in question was very animated when she wanted to be. Geo thought that this pegasus just needed a little encouragement and she could be out making new friends. Fluttershy is a very nice person...er, pony, after all.

When Fluttershy had finished, she looked at Rainbow Dash on the bed. "It's all thanks to her that I got my Cutie Mark."

Fluttershy did actually have much to thank Rainbow for, and not just her Cutie Mark. Rainbow had been her only friend during Flight School, and had protected her from the bullies who made fun of her for being a poor flyer. Rainbow had also come to visit her, and was very worried about her after she realised that Fluttershy had fallen to the ground. Rainbow was her closest and best friend.

And to think, Geo thought that we were filly-foolers. Rainbow would probably laugh at that, Fluttershy thought to herself.

She truly wished Rainbow would get well soon.

Over the intercom, an announcement was made directed at Fluttershy.

"Fluttershy and company, please go to room 45, Fluttershy to room 45."

Geo looked slightly annoyed at being called 'company', but thought better of questioning it, mostly because she knew she hadn't told anyone in the hospital her name yet besides Nurse Redheart.

"Oh my...I wonder why they want us there?" Fluttershy wondered aloud.

"Well, it;s probably about Christian. They brought him here not long after we arrived." Geo laughed grimly. "I bet that took them a lot of consideration, knowing what he did to Rainbow Dash."

Fluttershy suddenly looked frightened. "W-we have to go to him? Why?"

Geo sighed. "Probably because I'm the only one here besides Christian to know anything about the human anatomy."

Geo turned to head out the door, but stopped when she realised Fluttershy wasn't following her.

"Fluttershy, they asked for both of us."

"I'd rather stay with Rainbow Dash, thank you." Fluttershy replied, still looking somewhat frightened.

Geo sighed yet again. "Come on, Fluttershy. Rainbow is fine, the doctor said so herself."

"Nurse."

"Whatever. Anyway, you probably shouldn't mess with the people who handle Rainbow's medicine. Now let's go." Geo said, raising the volume in her voice slightly, but still causing Fluttershy to jump a bit.

"A-alright. Just let me say goodbye." The canary pegasus whimpered in defeat.

She trotted over to Rainbows bed, and gently reached over to hug the cyan pegasus. "Please get well soon," she whispered into Rainbow's ear.

She let go, and the two of them left the room, walking out the door to find room 45, and see how Christian was faring.

Though Fluttershy was genuinely worried about Christian, what he did to Rainbow Dash caused Fluttershy to care just that little bit less.

///

Meanwhile, in room 45...

This room was larger than other hospital rooms, as it was originally meant to treat those with viral infections. It was currently being re-purposed to accommodate Christian and his unique body structure.

Inside said large room was Christian, unconscious on a hospital bed too small for him, half of his lower legs poked out from the end of the blanket. He was still unconscious due to the vicious blow to the head he received from Applejack. Only recently had the Elements been allowed inside, as the doctors wanted to run tests to see how the human's body worked. He was completely naked, covered only by the blanket.

At the present time, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie and Spike were all in the room with the doctor, along with both Princesses. Most of them were glaring at Christian with hate.

"So doctor, how is he?" Asked Princess Celestia. She seemed genuinely concerned with the human in front of her, even with all that he had done. She has an incredible capacity for forgiveness. It also helps that she and Twilight Sparkle were the only ones who wanted him to go to the hospital. The others were fine to let him suffer.

"Well, this is a very interesting specimen you've brought to me, Princess. This 'human' is very similar to a chimpanzee, though it can think like we can. Actually, this particular specimen seems to be some sort of genius." The doctor, a unicorn, continued. "the magic tests we ran on it seem to confirm that it is highly intelligent.

"However, we found something disturbing on it's body." The doctor finished. He looked at everyone in the room one by one.

"What I'm going to show you may be a little distressing for you all, but try to remain calm."

The doctor turned to Christian;s unconscious form, and used his magic to move the blanket down to just above the waist. What they saw caused almost everyone in the room to gasp, even the Princesses. The doctor was the only one who seemed unfazed.

Christian's chest, shoulders, arms and stomach, and likely his back as well, were covered in scars.

These were not just small scars though. He had scars that ran the entire length of him, from his waist to his shoulder. They were deep scars as well, not just surface ones. Some overlapped each other, some were so close to each other that one had to look closer to distinguish the two.

The doctor shook his head. "It has the same amount, if not more, on its back. We counted them all, and he had more on his legs. The total amount of scars this creature has totals over five hundred."

This caused another collective gasp from the rest of the ponies in the room.

Twilight was the first to speak up. "Who...who would do something so horrible to anypony? Even Christian doesn't deserve the pain these must have caused!" She exclaimed in horror.

"Yes, about that. We assume 'Christian' was in a fight of some kind, because he has three fractured ribs and one broken one, a dislocated shoulder and minor head trauma."

The room was silent once more before Applejack spoke. "Well doctor, Christian got into a fight with Rainbow Dash, and-"

The doctor looked in shock at the human on the bed. "This did that to Rainbow? To be honest, it could have come out of this much worse."

Applejack looked at him somewhat sheepishly. "Yeah, um, Ah'm the one who bucked him in the head..."

"You did? It's a wonder it's not dead!"

The doctor looked at each of the girls in turn. "Now, we have it in a magically induced coma. We could bring it out if it, if you wish. You may want to admonish it for what it did, or ask about the scars, or anything, really." He turned to Christian. "Maybe you could also ask it about what it's been muttering in it's sleep."

"Christian's talking in his sleep? Why would he do that, there's nopony to talk to!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed.

Ignoring her, Twilight walked closer to the unconscious human, who was indeed, talking softly in his sleep. She could only make out a few words, however.

"I am...never...twenty seven...flowers...thank...feet together...are you...stop...my fault...knife, and...I will live..." from there, he began to repeat.

Twilight was genuinely puzzled. "I have no idea what he's on about."

"Neither does anypony else." the doctor replied.

There was a sudden knocking on the door. "Enter," called the doctor, focusing more on the scars than the ponies around him, and thus failed to notice the human and pegasus enter the room.

"Oh, Fluttershy, yer here!" Applejack cried, trotting up to the Fluttershy. "Please tell me RD's okay?"

"Oh um, Rainbow Dash will be fine. She has a broken nose and some slight head trauma and a bruise on her stomach, but she's fine otherwise. The doctor said she'll be here for a few days, but no more than that." Fluttershy replied, smiling. "She's going to be fine, everypony!" She called to the rest of the room.

"Fluttershy, dear, are you...alright?" Rarity asked. "You seem...a touch too happy, given the circumstances."

"Rarity, I'm so happy because Rainbow is going to be just fine in a few days. She isn't hurt too badly, so there's no need for me to fret!"

Pinkie looked at her. "Yeah, but Fluttershy, your all super happy and stuff. You can talk to everypony without hiding behind you mane! Why do you even do that, anyway?" Pinkie then gasped. "I could use my mane as a hiding spot next time I play hide-and-go-seek! Yay! Thanks, Fluttershy!"

Geo just stared at the pink mare, who bounced happily.

"Is she always like that?" she whispered to Fluttershy.

"Um, yes. It's annoying sometimes." Fluttershy gasped. "I can't believe I just said that. I'm a terrible friend..."

"No you aren't, Fluttershy."

"Oh, um, okay."

Geo sighed. "Alright, hey everyone." Geo called out to the room. She looked over at Christian. "So, how's he doing and everyone has seen the scars, he won't like that at all."

The doctor was staring at Geo himself. "There's another one?" She turned to the Princess. "With all due respect Princess Celestia, how many of these things do you have locked away?"

Unfortunately, Geo heard him. "Hey, screw off, buddy!" she yelled. She then noticed that the Princesses were staring at her. She blushed, and took a step back. "Ah. Right. Sorry."

The Princesses remained silent. Twilight took it upon herself to update Geo on what happened to Christian. Geo just got more and more worried, especially when Twilight mentioned he was talking in his sleep.

"What did he say?" she asked, somewhat urgently.

"I don't really remember-" Twilight began

"Then remember harder! What did he say?" Geo growled, scaring Twilight.

"Um, he said random things, like 'feet together', 'stop', 'flowers' and 'I will live.'" Twilight turned her head curiously. "Do you know what that means?"

Geo looked very distressed. "You, uh, heard that?" She sighed, seemingly in defeat. "Well, I may as well tell you what he meant. The scars, the muttering, and why he's such an, uh..." Normally Geo would call him an asshole, but she didn't think that'd be appropriate in front of royalty.

"Meanie-pants?" Pinkie interjected, in her usual bouncy fashion.

"Yeah, let's go with that."

Geo looked around. "So, uh, do you guys have, like, chairs? Because I haven't sat down since the library."

The doctor looked appalled. "Of course we do! This is a hospital!"

"Right, right."

After Geo had sat down, she cleared her throat, adjusted her glasses, looked everypony in the eye, one by one, and began the story.

This was the next step in the large chain of events centred around Equestria's two strangest creatures, Christian and Georgina.

Sorry, Geo.

///

Author note: This one seems...of lower quality than the others. I don't know why, but I can;t shake the feeling that this is a really crappy chapter. *sigh* Oh well.

Next chapter, we delve into the past life of Christian, and we get to see exactly why he is such a dick to everyone and everypony. See you tomorrow.

How He Came to Be

Author note: I'll be taking a short break from storytelling. Instead, Geo will be Author for this chapter. Take her away!

WARNING: This chapter contains a lot of swearing, and several adult themes not suitable for young fillies and colts. Run for the hills, children! Seriously though, this will get dark.

You've all seen Christian, who he is, what he's like. He is, to be frank, and awful person. He can be nice, but overall he prefers to cause people to suffer.

You know, throughout his entire life, he has literally never done anything that did not benefit him in some way? Everything has been for his gain, whether immediate or later on in life.

Well, today, I'm going to tell you how and why he is the way he is. He may be a horrible person, but he has his reasons. At first, I didn't believe him, but he has the proof literally all over him.

So, we'll start first when he was but an infant, barely out of the womb...

///

The baby began to cry. Again.

It was 4:00 am, and Steven and Nicole had had enough of it. They'd already gone through this crap once, they didn't want to do it again.

Steven rolled over to look at his wife. "You gonna get that, bitch?"

Nicole looked back at him, eyes bleary from sleep deprivation. "Fuck that. If you won't do it, I ain't either. You get the little shit some milk, or he starves." she growled, and rolled back over, falling asleep almost instantly.

Steven just didn't care enough to get out of bed and feed the kid. So, he just fell back to sleep, no guilty conscience about letting his infant son starve.

The Rhodes household was not a nice one. The parents did not care about the kids, and did not care about each other. They only stayed together because neither of them had high enough paying jobs to survive without one another.

Luckily for baby Christian, he had an older sister. Alex.

She had gone through the starvation herself when she was an infant. She didn't want her kid brother to go through the same torture that she did. While Steven and Nicole where not the kind of people who would actually kill their kid, they cared very little for them. The baby would not be fed very often.

So, Alex had taken it upon herself to install a baby monitor in her room, so whenever Christian cried, she could hear him, and feed him with the baby formula in the kitchen. No girl her age should have to do the things she had to do. She was only fifteen.

So, getting off of her bare mattress, the only luxury she really had at the time, Alex went into her parents bedroom, being careful not to wake them up, lest she get another beating. She reached down into the crib, and pulled the still crying Christian out of it, pulled him to her chest, and began to rock gently back and forward before leaving the room, just as quietly.

"Shh...come on, Christian...someone is hungry, yes? I have just what you need." Alex whispered to her baby brother, while he slowly began to quieten down. He was used to being helped by Alex, rather than his actual mother.

Alex reached for the bottle of baby formula, which she had previously heated up in the microwave. She waited for it to cool slightly before tilting the bottle so Christian had enough to drink,

"It is going to be okay..." she whispered, looking out the nearby window. "One day, we will both leave this place..."

She looked down at her brother once again. "How about I sing you a lullaby?

"Hush, little baby, do not say a word.
Alex is going to buy you a mockingbird

And if that mockingbird will not sing,
Alex is going to buy you a diamond ring

And if that diamond ring turns brass,
Alex is going to buy you a looking glass

And if that looking glass gets broke,
Alex is going to buy you a billy goat

And if that billy goat will not pull,
Alex is going tp buy you a cart and bull

And if that cart and bull turn over,
Alex is going tp buy you a dog named Rover

And if that dog named Rover will not bark
Alex is going to buy you a horse and cart

And if that horse and cart fall down,
You will still be the sweetest little baby in town."

At this, Christian had fallen asleep to the sweet serenade of Alex's voice. She could hear him breathing in and out gently, eyes closed, little face all red from crying. He even yawned cutely. Alex smiled, in the kind of way that should be between a mother and her baby. But Alex was the only real mother Christian had or ever will have.

The young girl walked slowly back into her parents bedroom, listening to them snore. She hated them, she hated them with a passion. If not for Christian, she probably would have run away. She was fifteen, she could find someone to help her.

Alex and Christian's father was a pedophile, and their mother was an abusive alcoholic. Nothing was ever done to the baby because, well, he was a baby, so all of their anger and lust went her direction. Yet, she never faltered. As long as her little brother was safe, she was happy with her life, even with the scars she bore, both mental and physical.

Alex placed the baby back in his crib, and walked out, looking back at the crib one last time before she did. She entered her own room, lay down on the mattress, and tried to get what sleep she could. After all, she had to get up for school in three hours.

///

So, we know that Christian and his sister Alex never had an easy childhood, and that Alex was essentially his mother figure, seeing how his real mother just didn't care.

"Now how in thunderation can anypony be so horrible to a foal? He was just a foal! Ah can't believe that your world is so awful!"

Applejack, please hold your questions 'till the end, thanks. Trust me on this one, there are worse people than Christian's parents.

Anyway, Christian has what is called an 'eidetic memory'. He can remember nearly everything about everything in his life. Apparently, to him, it's like being able to rewind, fast-forward, pause and replay memories in his head with perfect clarity. It'd be pretty cool, but the downside is he can;t repress memories. Also, I doubt he remembers literally everything. His mind probably couldn't take the birth trauma.

"Um, if you don't mind me asking...why did you bring up his memory?"

Right, I brought that up because Christian can only remember so far as his first birthday, so he only knew about those memories from his sister.

The next important part of this story would actually be his first day of school.

///

Because Christian's parents continued to not care about him, Alex had to take him to school every day. She had always caught the bus, but now bringing the ever-inquisitive Christian along with her seemed to annoy the other passengers.

"Hey Alex? Why are there so many people on the bus?"

"They have their own reasons. Maybe they cannot afford a car, or this is cheaper. Do not ask them, they may consider it rude."

"Oh, okay. Hey Alex? Why do you have to pay to go on the bus?"

"The bus drivers need to be payed for their jobs, otherwise they will not do their jobs, and the buses will not run, causing lots of people to be late."

"Oh, okay. Hey Alex? Why can't Mum ever do Mum things, like she's meant to?" Christian asked. He was unusually bright for his age, to the point where he could read and comprehend words that some adults don't even know. Have you ever met a six year old who knows the meaning of the word 'psychology'?

Christian had asked this because he knew that mothers where meant to take care of their children, and their mother and father decided they didn't care. Even with those facts, this question still took Alex by surprise.

"Christian, we do not ask question like that in public, alright?"

"Oh, okay. Hey Alex? Why do you like animals so much?"

"Well, I find that sometimes, animals can be better than people. They listen to your problems, they never make fun of you, that sort of thing."

"Oh, really? Alex liked animals too?"

Yes Fluttershy. Please, people, stop interrupting.

Some man on the bus finally got angry with the child and his incessant questions. "Hey, girl? Shit that kid up before I shut you both up!" The man yelled.

Alex pulled Christian closer to her. "Shh, Christian. Quiet time now."

"Okay Alex. You're hurting me."

"I know you do not like touching people, but we have to right now, so try and be strong, alright?"

"Alright..."

And so the rest of the trip went in silence.

When the two did arrive at school, they both got out of the bus and went into the gates, onto school grounds.

Alex got on one knee to look her little brother in the eye. "Now Christian, we need to settle a few things, alright?"

"Okay."

"Alright, one, you cannot go around telling people about our life at home. Our life may be bad, but we do not need others to feel sorry for us, alright?" Alex urged.

"Okay."

"Two, and this is an important one...try to make some friends, alright?"

"Okay!" Christian cried gleefully.

Alex patted him on the back quickly, knowing he did not like to be touched, and said "Good boy. I will see you at the end of the day. You are in room 1A. You know where that is?"

"I know how to count, Alex!" Christian whined.

Alex giggled. "I know, I just do not want you to get lost. Now, off you go."

I'll skip slightly ahead here...

Christian was sitting in class, looking at the teacher Miss Flanagan, and the other kids, as she tried to explain to them basic mathematics. She had them repeat after her, "One plus one is two! One plus two is three!" and so on.

Christian was bored. He needed to learn faster, or at least show these other kids how smart he was!

He raised his little arm in the air, trying to get the teachers attention.

"Yes, little boy? Remind me what your name is?"

"Christian, Miss Flanagan!"

"What was your question?"

The sat still for a second. "Do we get to learn how to do times tables or division or anything like that? I know all of this already!"

Miss Flanagan looked a little shocked that a Prep student would know what those even are. "Do you...know how to do those?"

"Yep! You should test me!"

The teacher stood there for a little longer before deciding a question for him. "What is...seven times seven?"

"Forty-nine" Christian spouted off immediately.

"Five times nine?"

"Forty-five."

"Twelve times eleven?"

"One hundred and thirty-two."

These questions went on for about five minutes before the teacher stopped, and asked, "Little boy, how do you know all of this?"

Christian smiled and said "Well, I taught myself!"

All the other kids, even though they didn't fully understand what was the teacher and Christian were saying, thought it was really cool that someone they knew was as smart as Miss Flanagan. When he said that he was self-taught, a few of the other kids said "Wow!"

Christian was very happy, and he felt like he truly belonged somewhere. Of course, that was to change when the teachers called home to tell the parents how smart their child was.

They were furious, and for no real reason either.

"What the fuck were you thinking? Huh? You dare embarrass me?" Nicole yelled at her son, slapping him hard across the face yet again.

"I-I don't know w-what I d-did wrong..." Christian blubbered, crying from the pain.

"What you did, you little shit, was say that you taught yourself! You fucking moron! Any all all credit for your brain goes to me, and me alone! Not your useless bitch sister, not your deadbeat fuck of a father, and certainly not you, you worthless fucker! Me! Nicole howled.

She slapped Christian across the face as hard as she could, and he fell to the ground. She proceeded to kick him in the stomach a few times. "How do you like that, huh. smart boy?"

Christian was crying, but his crying couldn't drown the crying in the master bedroom, where Steven was doing unspeakable things to his daughter, while he yelled at her to shut up.

"Oh, oh, what things were those?"

*sigh* Alright Pinkie. What do a girl and a boy do together to make a baby?

"Oh! They- *gasp* ...oh..."

Exactly. Back to the story...

Unfortunately for Christian and Alex, their parents did this to them on a daily basis, always finding some reason for it. "You didn't button up all the way! Get over here so I can beat you senseless!" and such things. Even at a young age, Christian had read books on biology from when his sister had taken him to the local library, because God forbid they have reading material in that household. "Reading is for loser fucktards to stupid to buy a TV." Christians father had once said.

With said biology books, Christian knew about the human anatomy, and how boys and girls did things to make a child. He was pretty sure he knew what his father was doing behind that door.

But there was no time for that. Now, he had to deal with the pain of being hit repeatedly. If he was lucky, maybe she wouldn't bring out the knife again.

"Wait here, fucker. I'm getting the knife."

So much for that hope.

When she returned, Christian was still bleeding on the ground, crying. She had no sympathy for this thing in front of her. It wasn't human. Hell, to her, she was the only human, and everyone else deserved to be gutted simply because they were not her.

So, Nicole stood him up, tore off his shirt, and began to cut-

"Geo, I believe that is enough for the moment."

Yeah, sorry, Princess. I'll skip ahead slightly...actually, should I point out which ones were the result of that particular day?

"No."

Right. Moving on...

When Nicole was done, another four cuts were present on the young boy. One running up his chest, one on his left shoulder, and two on his back. They joined at least one hundred others, total.

It was around this time that Steven was done with Alex, and he walked out of the room. Alex followed, stumbling slightly. A look of absolute horror washed over her when she saw the cuts on her brother. She turned to Steven.

"You promised! If I did things with you, she would not hurt him! You promised!"

In response, all she received was a punch in the stomach. "Did I ask for your opinion?" Steven growled. "You keep doing these things, and we won't slit the little fuckers goddamn throat!"

At that moment, Christian had understood what his sister had been doing for him. She was the only one who really cared. She was the only one who wanted to protect him. She loved him.

And he loved her back. Through the pain, he loved her back for all the sacrifices she had made for him.

///

"Despite the circumstances, that's somewhat sweet."

Yeah, you could say that, um, Rarity. Anyway, the next major memory that he told me about was when Christian first spoke to me, six year later.

///

It had been six years since Christian had first started school. The boy had skipped Year 1 and 2 due to his intellect. Alex had graduated four years prior, though their parents...persuaded her to keep living with them. Christian had now started Year 8.

At this point, Christian had long since taken up his sister's habit of never abbreviating, never using 'don't' or 'can't', only saying 'do not' 'cannot' and such. He had also begun to take an interest in girls. One in particular, for whatever reason, stuck out among the rest.

Her name was Georgina.

Wait, wait, wait. Christian likes you? Like, like likes you?"

He used to, Pinkie. It was flattering, but not what I was looking for. Anyway, this part is particularly nasty.

He had taken a liking to her, and watched her from afar. It was kind of creepy, but hey, if he wanted to look...

Anyway, Georgina confronted him about it one day. She approached him in the courtyard, where he was siting by his lonesome. As it turns out, being smarter than everyone else did not get you friends.

Georgina said "Hey there. You're Chris, right?" She only knew his name from role call, because he was moved ahead into her class.

He had looked her dead in the eye, and said "My name is Christian, not Chris." It was, in all honesty, very cold.

She tried to be friendly again. "Alright, Christian. I'm-"

He raised a hand to stop her. "I know who you are." Georgina suspected as much, but let him continue. "Your name is Georgina, though you prefer Geo."

She was a little confused as to how he knew that. "How in the hell do you know that?"

He looked at her, his expression softening slightly. "When you have no one to talk to, you learn to watch and listen."

From there, the two did actually speak with each other for a while, but Geo had other friends to talk to. Christian did not.

*gasp* "No friends? None at all?"

No, Pinkie. No more questions, dammit.

"Okie dokie lokie!"

Anyway, that was the first time he had actually spoken to her, though he knew about her from listening to other people's conversations. He knew enough to have what would pass as a crush. it was the first and last time in eight years they would speak.

It was also that night in particular that messed him up so badly.

When he had arrived home, he had found his sister there, who was cleaning the house, because Nicole certainly would not. She was sweaty and tired, but when she saw her little brother, her face lit up.

"Hello, Christian. How was school today?" she asked. Her voice was weak, but sincere. When they were younger, Christian would have attributed that to the constant sexual abuse she suffered for him. However, she had passed the age where her father was interested in her like that.

The brunt of Steven's desire was focused on Christian. But let's not focus on that.

"Well, Alex, do you remember all of those times I told you about Georgina?"

"Oh, yes, the girl you like."

"Hey, how did-"

"It is rather obvious. You talk about everything you find out about her constantly. If you were not so young, you would probably be classified as a stalker." Alex joked.

Christian laughed a little, before his face turned serious.

"Alex? I was wondering if you would...um..."

"Yes? Come on Christian, spit it out! You know we do not have long before..." Alex's face darkened, "He comes home."

By this point, Nicole had died in a car accident. She was drunk. She had, however, left a will. It said all of her personal possessions were to be burned, so no one else could have them. Needless to say, she was a horrible woman. Alex had to get a job so that they could continue living in the house.

"Alright then. I was wondering, well, I wanted to maybe ask her out, and, well..."

"You do not know how to treat a woman?"

"Yes..."

Alex smiled. "Well, you have come to the right place! I can teach you exactly what you need to know."

Christian smiled in return, and sighed in relief. "Good. I am unsure as to what to do, so may we start now?"

"Sure, Christian."

A few minutes later, they were in Alex's bedroom, and Alex had begun her lesson.

"Alright Christian, the first thing about most women is that they are very sensitive. Never treat them badly." Alex started.

Christian nodded, taking it down mentally.

"I have been on my fair share of dates. If I recall correctly, twenty-seven of them in total. Oh, do not tell father I said that."

"Do not worry, Alex. I will not."

Alex sighed with relief, though she knew better than to question Christian's loyalty. She smiled again.

"You may wish to give her a gift of some kind. Maybe some chocolate or something?"

"Georgina likes flowers." Christian said, proud that he knew such a fact.

Alex smiled at her brother. "That's good, get her some of her favourite flowers."

These lessons went on and on, and before the two knew it, a whole hour had passed. They had covered pretty much everything to do with the subject, except the biological aspect. Christian knew that already.

"Well, that is really all I can teach you, Christian. Though remember, not every girl likes these kinds of things. Try to be flexible when it comes to dating."

Christian was very happy. Maybe he would even ask Georgina out tomorrow.

Just some context, I wouldn't have accepted.

"That's not a very nice thought, Geo."

Moving on...

Alex stopped Christian before he could thank her. "Actually, there is something else you could learn..."

Christian lit up, excited to be learning something else that could help. As it turns out, this particular lesson would end disastrously.

"Well, I could teach you how to dance. That might impress her."

It wouldn't have.

"Oh, thank you, Alex! Thank you so much!" Christian was literally bouncing up and down. He might actually find some sort of happiness in this horrid life of his.

"Well, I could teach you how to waltz." Alex said after a few seconds thought.

Christian thought about it as well, wondering if Georgina actually knew how, before accepting anyway.

The two got into position, and after a few instructions, they got underway. Alex had set up a radio on her bedside table, and the CD inside played back some classic dance music.

"Alright, Christian, now, feet together, facing me..." Alex instructed.

"Feet together, facing you..." Christian repeated, eager to learn.

"Place your left hand on my hip, and grab my hand with your right."

Christian did so, and that was it.

"Now, follow my lead."

The two danced around the room, to the music. One-two-three one-two-three one-two three.

The two were laughing. Alex was happy that her brother may find love, and Christian was happy that he was learning. The world just disappeared, and it was just them and their own thoughts.

Then, they came rushing back to reality when they heard a rather loud yell.

"What the fuck are you two doing?" Steven screamed, having come home from work. He did not have a good day, and seeing he would be arrested if he went out and started randomly beating and killing people in his frustration, he decided to take it out on his kids. Again. However, when he got home, he found them having fun. They were happy. No happiness in this household unless it's MINE, he thought.

"Alex, get your ass out here so I can have some alone time with your brother." Steven said, his voice venomous.

"No." Alex said simply.

Steven was pretty sure he heard that wrong. Someone not doing what he said? Unheard of!

"Alex, do as I fucking well say, or I will stab you in the goddamn throat."

"No. You come here, and expect to treat us as if you own the world. Well let me tell you something, asshole. We are LEAVING!" Alex finally shouted. She had never been brave enough to stand up to her father before. It felt good.

Until, of course, he punched her in the face, knocking her unconscious. Without a word, he then went to the kitchen, and brought back the knife. Christian was afraid that he and Alex would get cut for this. He was right, in a way.

Steven did bring back the knife, and he did move over Alex's unconscious form to get better access to her chest. But instead of removing her clothing to begin cutting, he made good on his promise earlier, and brought the point of the knife into her throat, full force.

These are the parts that Christian wishes he could block out. He can't. Sometimes I wish for a memory like his, but then I remember that I would never be able to block out events like this. It's a blessing and a curse, all rolled into one.

Christian watched his sister die that day.

"What are you doing?!" he screamed at his father, and ran up to him, hitting him weakly through his sudden onset of tears.

"What does it look like, fuckstick? I got her to stop defying me." Steven said, calmer than he should have been.

"How could you kill her? You killed another human being! You killed your own daughter!" Christian screamed again.

Steven walked up to Christian, and punched him in the gut. "You think I care? Everyone knows she wasn't a real person. No one is but me! And as such, I have the right to do whatever the fuck I want, whenever the fuck I want to."

Christian always knew there was something wrong with his father, but this proved it. His father had actually deluded himself into thinking he was above the law.

"You think I'll go to jail for this, fucker? Nope. I'll get off scott-free. Why? Because I said so." He looked own on the corpse, not feeling even the slightest amount of regret. "She was a useless fuck." He looked at her, then at his son. "But...not entirely useless..."

Steven pulled the knife out of her throat with a sickening squelch-

"No sound effect! Please!

Alright, sorry...

Steven pulled the knife out of his daughters throat, and pointed it at Christian. Steven looked at it, nothing more than an object for him to use. He then looked at the knife.

"You were dancing...what, you were dating her, were you?" Steven taunted.

Christian was still crying. "N-no, I wanted t-to impress a girl at s-school...she was t-teaching me how to dance..."

He looked at his sisters corpse. "Then you killed her..."

"Hey, dickwit! So if you were getting ready for a date, why t=didnlt she teach you about ruffies?"

"W-what?"

"What, are you retarded? Yo don't treat people with respect, you use them until they have no use, and then either kill them or leave them. Do it to girls on a date as well." he smirked. "You put a ruffie in her drink, watch her collapse, take her body home, fuck it however you want, then dump her in a river or something."

"But I-" Christian began.

"Oh, wait, she didn't teach you everything, did she?" Steven asked, again far too calmly.

"No...there was stuff I already knew." Christian, for some reason, didn't feel sad anymore. He just felt...empty.

"I bet she didn't teach you how to fuck."

Christian had a sudden realisation of where this was going.

"No."

"Come on, you fucking wimp! She's right there!"

"NO!" Christian screamed at the top of his lungs. "I WOULD NEVER DO SOMETHING SO DISGUSTING!"

Unfortunately, Steven, being the twisted individual that he was, saw things differently.

"Actually, you will do something like that, because if you don't, I will fucking well flay you."

///

Geo sat there in her seat, not sure how to proceed. She didn't want to scar the ponies, but they did ask.

"W-what happened? He...he didn't. Tell me he didn't" Twilight pleaded.

Geo looked back at the unconscious Christian behind her, lying there on the bed. She looked back at the ponies.

"Well, his father threatened to skin him alive if he didn't."

That didn't answer their questions.

"But he didn't. he got out of it somehow, right?"

Geo looked at the floor.

"He had a choice. Do things with his sisters corpse, or die in impossible agony, all of his skin cut off slowly." She looked up at them. She had no tears, only pity. "He still has his skin, doesn't he?"

Nopony said a word. Applejack was turning a shade of green, while Twilight and both Princesses had a look of absolute horror on their faces. Rarity had fainted, and was being tended to by the doctor, who was eager to keep his mind off of what he had just heard. Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy had begun to cry.

Geo felt that she had to continue. She smiled without joy or humor. "But wait, there's more."

///

Christian had done it. He was mortified, and wanted nothing more than to grab the knife out of his fathers hands, and to kill him. And then, kill himself. But he couldn't. He was to busy crying on the ground while his father laughed at him.

"That's it? You lasted, what, a whole three minutes? You're a fucking disgrace." he stopped laughing suddenly, and looked at his son. "You know, this is your fault."

Christian didn't reply.

"She died to give you a better life. It's your fault."

Christian said nothing.

Steven walked over to his son, and grabbed his shoulder. "Say it with me now. It's your fault."

"M-m..."

"Come on. Say it."

"My fault..."

Steven smiled. His work was done. He stretched, and went back to the kitchen, putting the knife away. He looked back into the room. "So, yeah, g'night. Sweet dreams." he said, seeing nothing wrong with the situation. He would go to bed, and dream happy dreams, as if none of this had ever happened. Alex's source of income was gone, but he could just get the kid to work. No problem.

Christian, on the other hand, would probably never sleep again. She lay there, looking at his sisters face. She stared back lifelessly.

"My fault...my fault...my fault..."

///

Later on that night, Christian was standing in his fathers room, knife in hand. He looked down on the sleeping form of Steven, who was snoring lightly.

Christian had debated with himself for a little while before deciding that he would kill is father, and run away from home.

He had done the thinking, and had no reason not to continue. He lifted the knife, and stabbed downwards. The driving force behind it being anger.

The blade pierced the side of Stevens head. He didn't even feel it.

Christian, however, was long past the stage of feeling anything.

You see, something happened earlier, with his sister. After Steven had made him do those things, and then told him it was his fault, he just sort of...stopped feeling. He no longer felt guilt for what he did. He did not care that his entire family was dead. His small crush on Georgina was forgotten. He stopped caring. Emotion just didn't register anymore.

So, with that, Christian left. He took everything of value, put it into his schoolbag, and left.

His last thoughts in the house were "I will do what you wanted for me, Alex. I will live free."

For the rest of his life, he resented the idea of others living better lives than he did, and would do whatever he could to make sure what he felt was felt by everyone. Because it was his fault.

///

Geo made the motion of closing a storybook. The ponies in front of her were probably traumatised by what she'd just told them, but she had a feeling that would happen.

Geo simply stood up, and left the room. Not a word left her mouth.

A few of the others left as well, one by one. Luna first, then Twilight, then Spike, and everyone else until the only ones left were Celestia and Fluttershy.

The Princess was there to make sure that when Christian awoke, he would be informed that Geo told them everything. She also had a sort of...plan in mind, to which she would give more thought.

Fluttershy was there, however, for Christian himself. She trotted up to the bed, leaned over, and pulled the unconscious human into a hug. "Nopony deserved what you went through." she whispered.

With that, she went and sat back down. For some reason, she wanted to be there when he awoke, to comfort him. To her, it felt as if she was caring for another animal. She knew it was much more than that, but that's what it felt like. His story was truly the most horrifying thing she had ever heard, and she wanted to make sure he would be alright.

It didn't seem to register that this had happened a long time ago, and that he might be long over it. She didn't care. She would be there for the poor soul.

Whether he liked it or not.

This was the next step in the chain of events centred around the two strangest creatures in Equestria, Christian and Georgina.

Sorry, Geo.

///

Author note: I hope that didn't seem too over the top. Or, you know, traumatising.
Just a quick note, this was not meant to make you feel sorry for Christian. If you do, that's your choice. I just wanted to show how bad people could be.

Re-awakening

Meanwhile, in Room 233 of Ponyville General Hospital...

Even with a grand total of seven ponies, one human and one baby dragon in the room, not a sound was heard, other than the monotonous beeping of Rainbow Dash's heartbeat monitor. Nopony spoke. They were still in shock from what they had heard.

After everypony left room 45, they all went to check on Rainbow Dash. Some were concerned, but most of them just wanted to have something distract them from...that.

Since the gruesome retelling of Christian's life, nopony was left unaffected.

Applejack was going to be honest with herself; she had never, ever heard of something so terrible happen to anypony. She had never thought anypony would, or could, deserve such treatment. She was hit with a myriad of different emotions, such as anger towards Christians parents, sorrow towards Christian himself, and disappointment in herself.

How could Ah have bucked him right in the face after he had to go through something like that? Applejack thought to herself. Almost immediately, she shook her head. He did deserve it, on account of him beatin' the hay out of RD! Applejack frowned. Too many conflictin' emotions...

These thoughts were traveling though the heads of almost everypony in the room, save the doctor, who had not witnessed the evils Christian had committed, Geo, who was used to the story, and had long since gotten over it, and Rainbow Dash, because she wasn't exactly awake to hear it, nor was she in the same room. Even Luna, who was around to see the reign of Discord. and the war between her former self and her sister, had not heard of such things.

The ponies of Equestria were, simply put, an innocent race.

Still, nopony spoke, too lost in their own thoughts on the matter. They had mostly reached the same conclusion: Christian has had a hard life, but I don't think that's excuse enough to hurt others.

Luna suddenly spoke up for the first time in a long while. "I am confused as to what i should be feeling at the moment..."

Applejack nodded. "Well, ain't we all?"

"I could throw a party and try and cheer him up! I mean, parties cheer everyone up!" Pinkie declared. After receiving a few glances from those around her however, she shrank slightly. "Or maybe not." she finished lamely.

"What do we do?" Twilight asked, to nopony in particular.

Rarity had since waken up from fainting, and was herself thinking over what to do. She could not come up with anything. "I doubt there's anything we could do, girls. We just...have to leave this one be."

Twilight shook her head. "No, there must be something...there's a fairly large chance that he won't be able to go back to his world, so he's stuck here." She thought for a moment. "Here seems to be a large improvement from wherever he came from."

"Earth." Geo corrected. "We come from Earth."

Another bout of silence, something that was becoming more and more commonplace since Christian and Geo came to Equestria. Again, everypony was lost in their own thoughts.

Geo, however, broadcasted her thoughts to the room.

"Is this really the worst thing you've ever heard of?" She asked everypony in the room. "I mean, come on! Surely there have been wars, or serial killers, or a freaking natural disaster, or something! Christian's life sucks, sure, but it's not the worst thing I've ever heard."

"The last war in memory was the war between Celestia and m-I mean, Nightmare Moon, just over one-thousand years ago." Luna said.

Twilight nodded, and said "Murder is almost unheard of in Equestria. Ponies are not naturally violent, so if one pony kills another, it's usually darker forces at work. No pony would willingly kill another." She looked at Luna, remembering what she had just said about the war. "At least, not without reason."

"Natural disasters aren't too common either, my dear." Rarity assured Geo. "Weather related incidents are handled by the pegasi, and Equestria has never had an earthquake to date."

Geo looked around her. "So, basically, what you're saying is that Equestria is, well, something of a paradise?"

A small laugh filled the room, and everyone turned to Spike. "Paradise? Yeah, right! Though i admit, it's a hay of a lot better than the manure-hole you guys come from."

"Spike!" Twilight gasped. "Don't use that kind of language!"

"Sorry Twilight." Spike glared over at Rarity. "I'm just not in a good mood right now."

Rarity sighed. "Look, Spikey-"

"Rarity, please. I don't need that right now. We've got more important things to focus on." Spike grumbled. "More important to you, anyway."

Rarity closed her mouth. If it had been anypony else, she would probably have huffed in annoyance, but she of all ponies knew exactly what was wrong with Spike.

"In any case," Geo began, "He is right. Our world is nothing compared to yours." She looked at the Princess of the Moon. "Princess Luna, if you don't mind me asking, what is the worst event that's ever happened to Equestria? I mean, the worst event that cost lives? And how many?"

Luna sighed. "The war I mentioned earlier was the worst event in recorded history besides the reign of Discord himself, but-"

"Sorry, who?"

"Discord. He is the embodiment of chaos and disharmony, but he does what he does in a playful sense. The world was in complete disarray under his rule, though he did not actively seek death." Luna shook her head quickly. "My point is, the war was the worst thing since that, and there were about nine-thousand ponies lost. That includes civilians and soldiers."

The Elements and Spike nodded. It was truly a dark event, and they all knew Luna regretted it immensely. However, Geo could not believe it.

"That's it? Only nine-thousand?" She cried. "That's nothing!"

Everypony gasped. "So you say that the deaths of nine-thousand ponies is nothing to you? How dare you?" Luna shouted.

Geo raised her hands and shook her head. "Nonononono, that's not what I meant at all!"

Everypony relaxed, though Luna was still on edge.

"That probably didn't have the intended impact without some context." Geo assured. "I mean no disrespect. Now, what was the world population at the time?"

Luna looked puzzled. "The population of the entire world? It was not the entire world involved, only Equestria. No other countries were involved."

Geo lowered her glasses, and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Alright, what was the total population of Equestria at the time?"

Luna thought for a moment. "Approximately twenty-million."

Geo frowned. "To be honest, Princess, that's...not a lot."

Luna frowned in return. "What do you mean, 'not a lot'? Twenty million is a fairly large amount! The population at the moment is about thirty-five million."

Twilight nodded. "Yeah, that is a lot of ponies, you have to admit Geo."

Geo shook her head. "No, I don't. You wanna know the population of our world when we left?" Everypony nodded or muttered to the affirmative. "It was just over seven-billion. So when you say nine-thousand ponies died, that pales in comparison when we've got wars that cost millions of lives."

This enticed a gasp from everypony. But Geo was not done.

"Our world has so many problems. Hundreds of people die daily from starvation. Greed and corruption runs rampant everywhere. People like Christian's parents weren't really commonplace, but they were present. Countries that hate each other, and are willing to start a war over the smallest of things. People willing to kill others for their beliefs. Hell, in some places, they've got freaking child soldiers.

"But out of all of that, you know what the saddest part is?" Geo asked. She scanned the room, waiting for a response. When she got none, she kept talking. "The saddest part of it is that all of this crap, this bad stuff that's happening? It's that most people don't try and do anything about it! They just sit back and accept that the world sucks, and do nothing!"

Geo was yelling at this point. "Our world is dying, and it's our fault, and yet, we don't do anything about it. The major governments of the world even have plans to move planets if our one dies out. And I bet you that we'll just use that planet until it's a barren hunk of rock. We could try and make our world better, but no! They're even saying that if we find a planet we can live on, we'll kick out any species already living there, be it with diplomacy or full-scale genocide!"

Geo paused for a while longer, looking at the horrified faces around her. She directed her gaze to the baby dragon in front of her. "You're right. Earth, our home, is a manure-hole. But it's not the world that's the problem. It's us."

Geo stood still for a while, looking at the floor, thinking to herself. She had never really been that passionate about anything before.

She looked up. "We are a greedy, selfish, horrible race. I hate it that I'm a part of them."

Another pause. "I think I'll go back and see Christian for a while. Please, don't follow me."

With that, the human girl with the pimply face and glasses walked out of the room, a dejected look about her.

The Elements all looked at each other.

"Could...a world that horrible really exist?" Twilight asked.

"Ah'm more worried 'bout Geo. Ah mean, if'n humans are really as bad as she says they are, then what reason do we have to trust her?" Applejack cried.

"I trust her." said a familiar voice from the bed.

"Yeah, but Ah don't. That's the honest..." Applejack realised who had just spoken. She turned to look at the cyan pegasus, who was now fully awake. "Truth."

Pinkie Pie jumped for joy. "Yay! Dashie's awake! Now we can throw her a 'Get-Well-Soon' party!" she cried.

Everypony else gathered around the bed, eager to see how Rainbow was doing.

"How long have you been awake, Rainbow?" Twilight asked.

"Long enough. I heard pretty much everything she said about humans and their world." Rainbow smiled weakly. "I think she really believes what she said."

"How can you tell, darling?" Rarity questioned.

"You can tell when somepony has a fire in 'em, a determination. I see it in Applejack when she works the farm, Twilight when she does on a study binge, you when you make dresses, me, when I look in the mirror and think about becoming a Wonderbolt. I could see that same fire in her eyes." Rainbow nodded in a completely unfitting sagely manner. "She means what she says."

"Well then Rainbow Dash, tell us, how are you feeling?" Luna inquired. The rest of the ponies and Spike were curious as well.

"I'm fine. I've had worse from crashing. My wings are fine, so I can still fly fine. I remember something about worrying about my wings, then Applejack coming in, then I remember being here." Rainbow frowned. "Hey, where is that jerk, anyway? I beat the hay out of him for hurting you guys, then he called me a fi-" Rainbow caught herself quickly. "He called me some stuff that brought back bad memories, and then he jumped me when I wasn't looking! No good cheater! I want a rematch!

"Anyway, that's how I feel emotionally. Physically, my head hurts a lot. I can feel my heartbeat in my eyes, for crying out loud. My stomach kind of hurts too, but in the 'I've eaten too much' kinda way. He didn't really hit me anywhere else." Rainbow finished.

"Well Rainbow, the doctors say you'll be fine in a few days. I'll bring in some Daring Do books to keep your mind occupied. How does that sound?" Twilight offered. The excited grin on Dash's face said it all.

"I wasn't kidding when I asked where that smug jerk was, guys." Rainbow pushed.

Applejack took this one. "Well, you broke one of his ribs, and cracked three others, and dislocated his shoulder. That wouldn't be enough to put him in a hospital, apparently. But, when you were down on the ground after he beat you-"

"He didn't beat me! He cheated!"

"Anyhow," Applejack continued, "Ah saw him standing next to you, his hands on your wing, and Ah just kinda...lost it. Ah ran up to him, and bucked him in the head."

Rainbow's eyes widened. "Woah! That probably knocked him out, right?"

"Sure as shootin'. He was out cold. Ah didn't really wanna, but Celestia and Twilight said we should take him to the hospital, get him studied as well as patched up. I didn't really think he deserved it." Applejack sighed. "Then, Geo told us why he's so mean."

Rainbow nodded. "Yeah, I remember she said something like 'He's had the worst life I've ever heard about' or something."

"Well sugarcube, his life was...a lot worse than we could of imagined." Applejack sighed, shivering at the memory.

"I doubt it's so bad that it gives him the right to hurt ponies!" Rainbow said in protest.

Twilight reached out and patted Rainbow's shoulder. "It's...pretty sick. Do you want us to tell you?"

"Yeah sure! I bet I can handle it." Rainbow cried.

///

Meanwhile, back in Room 45...

"Oh Celestia, he's had such a hard life...I don't know how to feel about him treating ponies like he did." Fluttershy said, unsure of what to feel, much like her fellow Elements a few floors above her.

Celestia was there to try and comfort the Element of Kindness. Celestia knew that the tale of Christian's life was a bad one, but she personally did not believe there was any excuse to cause the kind of mental harm Christian had caused the Elements, no matter how badly he was treated himself. She did, however, believe that Christian could redeem himself.

"His decisions are his own, and we cannot change that." Celestia spoke softly to her subject.

A pause. "We could wake him up if you wish, Fluttershy."

Fluttershy gasped. "Oh, no, we couldn't...I mean, he might want to wake up, but what if he tries to hurt ponies again?"

Celestia chuckled slightly. "Well, we brought him to a hospital, and treated him. I would say he wouldn't try. However, if he does, I can knock him out again."

Fluttershy was still contemplating the decision when Geo came in.

"Oh, right. Yeah. You two are in here." Geo muttered to herself.

"Oh, um, hello..." Fluttershy said, rather quietly, as was her trademark,

"Hello, Geo," Celestia greeted, "We were just discussing whether or not to awaken Christian from his unconscious state."

Geo looked at them, somewhat puzzled. "There, uh, really shouldn't be any debate. Just wake him up."

Celestia nodded, and took a step back. "Fluttershy, please retreat to a safe distance while I cast the spell. I may knock you out by mistake, and we definitely wouldn't want that."

Fluttershy let of a quick "eep" and shot off behind Geo. Huh. She chose me as comfort over Celestia. Why?

The alicorn's horn began to glow a brilliant yellow, like the ray of the sun, and as she charged it, it only got brighter. Eventually, both Geo and Fluttershy could actually feel warmth radiating from Celestia, the kind of warmth one would get from taking a walk on a summer afternoon under a clear sky.

The warmth ended in a loud noise that Geo couldn't really describe, and a bolt of yellow hit Christian, causing him to jolt slightly.

Christian lay there for a few seconds more, before his eyes began to flutter open.

"So, this is what Rodney King felt like." He murmured, before fully opening his eyes, and scanning the room around him.

"Hello, Geo. Fluttershy." He looked at Celestia. His face indifferent, he said, "Celestia."

Either she didn't notice, or she didn't care, because the Princess of the Sun didn't dwell on it.

"Christian, do you know why we have awoken you?" She asked calmly.

The human male smirked. "You could not resist my charms? I am flattered, but older women are not my style."

Geo sighed. "Christian, now's not really the time to be insulting people."

Christian shook his head disapprovingly at his female counterpart. "Every time is a time for insults! After all, life is boring without a little cruelty."

Instead of the anger he was looking to incite from Fluttershy and Celestia, he got only looks of pity. Raising an eyebrow, Christian looked over at Geo to ask exactly why they were no longer treating him like an enemy when he caught the expression on her face.

Christian stared long and hard at her, losing all forms of expression on his face.

"You told them, did you not?" He said finally. It was less of a question and more of a statement.

Geo nodded in response. She was pretty sure of what his reaction would be.

"Is there any particular reason as to why?" Christian asked, with a little more force, still with no facial expression.

"Okay, Christian, I told them 'cause they kept asking questions like, 'why's he so mean,' and 'I've never seen such a cruel individual.' Honestly, you've had enough of that." Geo explained.

Christian turned to look at Celestia. "Excuse me, oh exulted ruler," he said, voice dripping with venomous sarcasm, "but would you be ever so kind as to leave the room? I would like a private audience with Georgina." He stared a little longer. "If you would not kind, of course. Far be it from me to tell royalty what to do, even if said royalty is an animal."

"For God's sake, man, shut up!" Geo growled.

Christian frowned. "Fine. Just leave, would you Princess? Pretty please?" he asked, turning his head and fluttering his eyelashes at Celestia.

Celestia herself frowned, but actually found herself complying. The door closed lightly, surrounded by a brilliant yellow glow.

Fluttershy was still there. "Um, do you want me to leave? Because I will, I mean, if it's alright with you..."

Christian shook his head. "You can stay. I would rather you not repeat anything you hear, however."

Fluttershy gulped and nodded. "O-okay."

"So, Georgina, I assume I am in a hospital of some kind?" Christian questioned. Geo nodded. "Why?"

Geo looked at him oddly. "Because you were hurt. Why wouldn't they help?"

"For one, I need not their sympathies, and had I been awake, I would have argued."

"If you'd been awake, Rainbow Dash wouldn't have had working wings!"

"She punched first, I had every right to defend myself."

"No, you didn't you moron! She came in to hit you a few times, with no more aggression than a parent wanting to smack their kid for misbehaving!. It was your fault that you got her to hit you so hard."

"Do you expect me to feel regret? I do not feel anymore, Georgina, you know that. Thanks to you, everyone else knows that as well."

"Come on, I know you better than you know yourself sometimes! You think I don't know you don't care?"

"Indeed. yet, you seem adamant on trying to make me rue what I have done to the closet homosexual."

Geo sighed heavily. "I know you can read people like you read freaking books, but how in the hell could you know that?"

Fluttershy was listening intently at this point. She was remembering the conversation she and Geo had had earlier about filly-foolers, and how it was okay in their world.

"I know that because that is what I taunted her with, and I began naming her friends one by one as potential candidates." Christian argued.

"How does that prove anything?" Geo yelled.

"Simple. When I mentioned Fluttershy here, she froze up."

The two went silent, and then almost in perfect synchronisation, looked at Fluttershy. She was standing there, wide-eyed.

"She...likes me? As in, like likes me?" Fluttershy hid behind her bubblegum-pink mane. "Oh my..."

'Indeed she does. Your reaction, however, is less favourable. You do not like her back, do you?" Christian smirked.

"No, I...I can't. I like colts, not...mares..." Fluttershy stammered.

"I predict an awkward encounter ahead." Observed the smirking human from the hospital bed. If I cannot ruin her wings, I shall ruin her love life instead...

"I love her, but as a friend, not like...like that..." Fluttershy kept talking. She sounded like she was trying to comfort herself. Indeed, her eyes began to water.

"I can't tell her, I'll break my oldest friends heart...but if I don't, and she asks later...then I..." Fluttershy whimpered, "I don't know what to do!" She cried finally, bursting into tears. Geo leaned down and embraced the canary pegasus while looking over at Christian.

She had expected to see him smirking, or at least looking satisfied a little. What she actually saw brought about several questions.

He looked...sad.

Geo knew that couldn't be right, because ever since the night with his sister and father, he had blocked out the ability to feel emotions at all. The only reason he knew what emotion to fake at what time was due to both extensive television programs, books read, and lessons from herself. She knew he couldn't really feel anything.

Yet, it looked like he was.

She was confused. He couldn't possibly feel regret for making her cry, could he?

Then, a thought hit her. Geo looked down at the pegasus who was currently crying on her shoulder. She tried to connect it to...Huh...I think I see what's going on here.

However, Christian spoke, in a voice that didn't seem like his own.

"Are you alright?"

He sounded so...sincere.

Fluttershy sobbed back a response that sounded like "I don't know what to do," but it could just as easily been random crying noises.

"Alright, Fluttershy, here is what you are going to do." Christian said. "You are going to go to Rainbow, and you are going to tell her you know of her feelings for you. Try to let her down gently. You're friendship can outlast this, alright?"

Geo was staring at him, her mouth open in shock. Fluttershy didn;t really register exactly who had given her that advice, but suddenly quieted down.

"You're right...I have to be brave...thank you..." she whispered, with a determined look on her face amidst the tears, and the quickly trotted out of the room.

The room was silent once more.

Well it was, until Geo shouted "What in the hell was that?!"

Christian actually looked just as shocked. "What is wrong with me? I think Applejack must have hit me harder than I thought...I do not like this 'nice' Christian..."

"Just...just...what?" Geo sputtered. She had a small idea as to why he just acted like he did, but still...

Christian suddenly nodded. "I think I know why I treated her like I did..."

"Alright, part with your knowledge, Christian, because I have no freaking idea!" Geo cried.

"It is not that hard to decipher. Look at her. She has long hair. She has blue, maybe even teal eyes. She is kind. She loves animals." Christian stared at her. "Think, Geo, who do you know that fits that description?"

It took her a little while, but Geo eventually pieced it together. When she did, a little smile was on her face.

"Heh, I didn't pick you for that kid of guy, Christian."

Christian was not smiling. He was worried. "I felt. Just then, I felt something." He looked at her with a hard gaze. "I do not want to feel."

"What'd you feel?" Geo asked, though she knew the answer already.

"It matches up to the feelings of sorrow I remember from my childhood..." Christian mused.

He looked at Geo. "This is bad. This world of...ponies is turning me soft. I need to get out of here."

"Tell me. Say it out loud. Who does Fluttershy remind you of?" Geo pushed.

Christian sighed. He looked down at the bed he lay in before looking back at Geo.

"Long hair...kindness...teal eyes...love for animals...nurturing personality...putting others before herself..." Christian sighed.

"She reminds me of Alex."

This was the next step in the large chain of events centred around the two strangest creatures in all of Equestria, Christian and Georgina.

"Hey!"

Oh come on, Christian called you that, like, three times and you had no reaction!

"That's different. Now fix up your speech. Jackass..."

Sorry, Geo.

///

Author note: Yeah, sorry I didn't update yesterday. I actually don't have a reason.

Don't worry, Christian isn't going all emotional. He'll still be a douchebag to everyone. Fluttershy is the only exception.

I may update tomorrow. I may not.

Rotten Apples

Not long later, at Ground Zero in the Everfree Forest...

The Everfree forest was quiet, more so than usual. It would be unnerving to anypony who knew enough about the forest, like Zecora, but to Christian and Geo, they were blissfully unaware of the silence.

If one could call their bickering silence.

"Well how do you think she does it, Einstein?"

"I am...unsure. Levitation is a trait deemed impossible."

"Yeah, and yet, not ten minutes after we get here, boom! Levitated. Then a light knocks us out!"

"Light causing unconsciousness is not difficult to explain, but defying gravity itself..."

"Hurry up over there!" cried Applejack, who was watching over the two. "We got a big day t'morrow, smarty-pants, an' Ah don't wanna get home late 'cause o' you!" She was none to pleased about the situation in which she found herself in. As per her agreement with the princess and the two humans, Applejack had to play host to Christian for a full five days before he had to move on to Sugarcube Corner. "Five days is too long..." she thought grumpily.

"Yes, yes, a little patience is all I ask, Applejack." Christian retorted. "If you were not so hasty, maybe I would be more encouraged to do this faster."

"Just hurry, 'fore a kick ya 'gain." Applejack growled.

Christian grumbled something she could not hear, and he got back to work.

What Christian and Geo were going out in the Everfree Forest, and more specifically, Ground Zero where they first arrived, was to fulfill Christian's cola quota. The two were currently filling comically over-sized backpacks, supplied by Pinkie, with their favourite beverage from the fridge. It had been just yesterday that they had arrived, and even with no power to the fridge, the brown soft-drinks remained cold and bubbly.

Christian was filling his bag with Pepsi, many cans and bottles placed neatly so that he could fit as much of it as he could into the strange bag. He had briefly voiced his concerns over how exactly Pinkie Pie had these monstrosities, but Twilight had told him to, quote, 'Just forget about it. You learn to stop questioning Pinkie after a while,' unquote.

Naturally, that just raised further questions. Christian despised being left in the dark about something. He would just have to wait five days before he had to share a living space with the annoying pink menace.

Geo, on the other hand, was going to be spending her first five days with Rarity. Rarity and Geo had no problem with this. It was Christian Rarity was not looking forward to. Luckily, she had Applejack, Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle on the roster before her, and was glad for the fifteen day gap.

Said female human was currently trying to cram all of her Coca-Cola into her bag. Even though she had a few bottles lees that Christian did of his Pepsi, she wasn't a very good organiser, as her room back at the apartment attested to. She had run out of room rather quickly, and had emptied her backpack twice already, trying to get the things to fit.

Geo had tried to get a laugh out of anyone in the general vicinity by grabbing many Coke cans in her arms and saying "Why can't I hold all these cans?", but Applejack didn't get it, and Christian didn't care.

"Christian, can you help? I've tried three times to do this, and I screw up every try." Geo complained. Her voice would have given the Diamond Dogs some bad memories.

Christian however, had his own problems. His hands were shaking slightly.

Geo noticed this, and began to walk over. "Uh, Christian?"

"I have not played for so long. I cannot relax." Christian said, his voice angry.

Geo knew instantly what he meant. Christian was an expert at playing the piano, with finger dexterity like no one else Geo had ever seen. The downfall, though, was that piano playing was his only means of relaxation. He loved the music, but in a sense, was addicted to the movement that his hands made. The music he created was nothing more than a pleasurable side effect.

"Alright, Christian," Geo said in an oddly mothering voice, "we'll find someone...er, somepony with a piano. Right now though, we have to get you all the way over to Sweet Apple Acres. Alright?"

Christian grumbled. "Fine..."

Christian stood, and went over to help Geo back her giant backpack. He did it rather quickly, much to Geo's shock and slight envy. They placed them on their backs, and were on their way, with Christian questioning as to how such large backpacks, filled almost to the brim with soft-drinks, were not heavy in the least. The girls ignored him.

They were on the trail back to Ponyville, with about ten minutes of the trip left, when the group heard an unsettling noise.

"Uh, what was that?" Geo asked, her breath quickening.

Christian shook his head at her fear. "Do not worry. By the sound of it, it was just a wolf."

Applejack turned to them. "Timberwolves!"

Christian looked at her with an unamused glare. "What?"

"Timberwolves! They're these creepy varmints that live in th' Everfree Forest. They ain't kind critters." Applejack explained.

Christian smirked. "No need to fear. Why would a wolf of any kind attack us? Unless the creature was starving, there would be no need to-" He was cut off by some loud rustling in a bush nearby.

The rustling got louder, and in no time at all, a wolf seemingly made out of wood jumped out from behind the foliage, causing a squeal from Applejack. Both humans looked at her. It sounded more like a noise Fluttershy would make.

"Don't stare at me! We got a Timberwolf on our hoofs!" She cried.

Christian didn't look like he was taking this seriously.

"A wolf. Made out of wood." he said, not really to anyone in particular. "So, are these Timberwolves plants or mammals in nature?"

"Who cares? Run!" Applejack cried, making a move towards Ponyville. Geo made the same move before Christian glared at them. That stopped them right were they were.

Christian then made his way over to the animal in question, which was growling at him. He walked right up to it, and knelt before it. He could smell the creatures breath.

Timberwolf. Has yellow eyes, coat seemingly made of bark. Teeth appear wooden as well, though sharpened. Drool is a foamy green. Creature appears hostile, yet has not made a move.

Christian reached out, and began to pat the Timberwolf on the head. The wolf stopped growling immediately, and tilted its head in confusion.

Coat is indeed wooden in nature. Timberwolf seemingly unafraid, nor hostile. Seems more like a regular dog than a wolf.

He reached around, and began to scratch behind the timberwolfs ears. The noises made were exactly what you would expect, and felt roughly the same: scrapping ones nails along tree bark. The timberwolf had much the same reaction as Christian had expected. The wooden hound stuck out its long green tongue and began to pant heavily.

"Christian!" Geo called, though it sounded more like a stage whisper.

He turned his head away from the strange wolf-plant hybrid in front of him. "Yes, Geo?"

"You aren't going to kill it, are you?" Geo asked, somewhat worried by what the response would be.

"Christian opened his eyes wide. "What? No, I would never kill an animal unless absolutely necessary." He turned back towards the wolf. "Besides, I would not eat tree bark under penalty of Chinese water torture."

By now, the Timberwolf had lost interest in the odd creatures and the orange pony in front of it, and turned to bound back into the foliage.

Christian got back off of his knee, and walked back to the middle of the trail. Geo and Applejack were speechless.

Christian didn't look to happy. "Well? Are we to move to our new accommodations, or stand out here, gawking like buffoons?" he began to walk, moving ahead of Applejack and taking the lead. The other two soon began to follow.

"Does he always do stuff like that with animals?" Applejack inquired in a hushed voice.

"Yeah, pretty much. He tends to value animals more than humans" Geo shrugged. "He's only cruel to them when he intends to kill them for food." Geo nodded. "That's really the only reason he was cruel to Fluttershy in the first place."

Applejack frowned, being reminded of the incident, but then nodded, still slightly unsure. "Well, what 'bout us? 'Parently, ponies're animals in yer world. Why ain't he nice t' us?"

Geo looked a little sour. "One, you guys did kinda bring us here against our will, no matter what good came from it." She sighed. "Two, I think that Christian likes animals so much because they don't have our characteristics. You know, they can't criticise, or judge. Or maybe it's because his sister liked animals, and it's some kind of tribute. You guys, on the other hand, are sentient, like us. You're bound to have characteristics like us."

Applejack nodded again. "Never really though o' it like that."

Geo nodded in return. "Actually, neither have I. I just came up with that theory on the spot."

Applejack chuckled. "Theory? Ya'll ought t' see Twilight 'bout theories. Ah'm jus' a simple farm pony."

"I heard all of that," Christian said from the front.

The two girls shut up.

"Applejack? You guys wouldn't happen to have a piano back at your farm, would you?" Geo asked in a hushed voice.

"Actually, we do. Granny Smith always made us learn as fillies, linda like a family tradition, but Ah didn't really like it. Too many keys, if'n ya ask me." Applejack replied. "'Sides, it's more 'f a unicorn thing, what with all th' keys, an' not bein' able t' press 'em all at once. Ya'll need magic t' play properly."

Geo lit up. "That'll be a nice surprise for Christian."

"Really? What for?"

"Well, we have a piano back where we live. Christian plays it very very well. He loves it, really. It's one of his favourite things to do, play the piano. He uses it as his 'down-time'." Geo smiled. "Not only does it get him out of my hair for a while, but the music he plays is really good."

"Heh. Alrighty then. So, Christian plays th' piano t' have fun." Applejack tilted her head. "What do you do fer fun?"

"Honestly?" Geo looked at her. "Do you really want me to tell you?"

"Well, ya seem like a nice sort. Ah still don't like him too much." Applejack nodded in Christian's direction, the human in question not hearing them, as he was a little further ahead. "So c'mon then, Geo? What does a girl like you do fer fun?"

"Sex."

"Uh...begin' yer pardon?"

"You heard me."

Applejack looked straight ahead while chuckling lightly. "Ah like yer honesty." She then made a face. "Not with-"

Geo made a face herself, like she'd bitten a lemon. "Oh God no, not with him. Ew. Not in a bazillion years." She shuddered, trying to rid herself of the mental images. "No, I'll bring back some random guy or girl for some fun."

Applejack frowned slightly. "So yer one o' those types."

"Don't get me wrong, I'm not addicted to it or anything-"

"Not what Ah meant. Yer barn door swings both ways."

Geo nodded. "Yeah, that's one way to put it." She looked at the orange filly. "Why? You got something against...uh, what did Fluttershy call it? Filly-foolers?"

"Naw, it ain't that. Ah just don't see how ya can like both. Ah kinda see it as bein' a tad indecisive." Applejack said, speaking her mind as always.

"Oh well, not much you can do about it. What about you?"

"Stallions."

"Ah."

There was a little more silence before Ponyville could actually be seen through the trees. There was one question nagging at the back of Applejack's mind, though she didn't think she should ask. She did anyway.

"So, Geo, er, I know you like both, but what about Christian?" Applejack inquired.

Geo raised and eyebrow. "Odd question, but I'll bite. Christian is attracted to personality. The physical aspect of a relationship doesn't matter." Geo nodded. "I like people's bodies, and that's why I can't settle down. Christian likes people's minds. The body doesn't matter."

Applejack raised an eyebrow herself. "So, he could fall fer a pony?"

Geo didn't respond, as she was deep in thought. Finally, she said "You know what? Yeah, probably. Though he'd have to find one with an equal mindset. Body doesn't matter, that kinda thing."

Applejack just nodded. Geo kept going, though.

"It's actually kind of helpful when it comes to the whole 'Bodies and sex don't matter'. I can't tell you how many times he's walked in on me-"

"Endin' that right there, look, we're in town." Applejack said hurriedly. There's honest, and then there's...whatever th' hay Geo is, Applejack thought.

As the trio walked through town, Celestia's sun had long since gone down, and Luna's moon was high in the sky. By human standards, it was around 9:30 pm.

Finally, they arrived at Carousel Boutique. Geo could see how the building got it's name. The roof looked just like a carousel. Why is everything horse related? Geo thought to herself. That thought was quickly followed by a snicker. Of course it's horse related. I'm in freaking Ponyville, for Christ's sake.

"Well, this was fun, but this is my stop, so..." Geo said, walking backwards towards the door of the boutique.

"Yes, Geo, have a pleasant stay. At least you get to stay somewhere that looks like it has class." Christian spat. "I have to live in a barn for five days."

Geo smirked. "Yeah, while you're there, work on the attitude."

In return, she received a glare. She quickly turned around and knocked on the door, but she could still feel Christian's eyes boring into the back of her skull.

Not long after, the door opened, and Rarity stood there, with a small smile. "Oh there you are, dear. I've been waiting-" She looked at Geo's condition. Walking through the forest and into Ground Zero had got her covered with dirt and leaves. "We need to get you in the shower, quickly!" Rarity tried to usher her inside without actually touching her. Geo walked in, the backpack almost getting caught in the door.\

The last thing Applejack and Christian heard before the door closed was "Please don't touch anything! I don't want dirt everywhere!"

Applejack chuckled. "Typical Rarity." She then turned around. "C'mon, then. We ain't got long t' go."

She heard a grumble, but nothing more.

"Look, Ah ain't happy 'bout this, neither. Yer gonna hafta suffer though." Applejack said, rolling her emerald eyes.

More grumbling. "He'd better not be like this on th' farm." Applejack muttered to herself.

///

Finally, the orange farm pony and the tall human made it to Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack sighed contently, and pointed over at the orchard.

"That there's my livelihood. Ah go out there every mornin' and buck apple trees, then pick up th' apples that fall, and sell 'em at th' market." She breathed deeply. "It's a simple life, but it keeps me happy."

"Of course it does. I doubt it would take much to keep a simple mind such as your own occupied." Christian retorted.

That soured Applejack's mood right quick.

The two walked in silence to the front door of the big red farmhouse that the Apple family resided in. Just as they were about to enter, Applejack stood in front of it, trying to block Christian's entrance.

"Alright, now listen here," Applejack said in a threatening tone. "Ah got my brother, Big Macintosh, my sister, Apple Bloom, and Granny Smith. Now yer gonna treat 'em all with respect, y'hear?"

"Fine, yes, alright, okay. Frankly, I care not for your family. I need somewhere to sleep, and I need to take my mind off of my shaking hands..." Christian agreed. Indeed, his hands were shaking quite badly.

"That there shakin'...that got anythin' t' do with yer piano skills?" Applejack inquired.

"Yes, I need to play, else I begin to shake. It becomes something of an...inconvenience."

Applejack smirked. "Lucky fer you, Ah got a piano in there."

Christian's eyes went wide. "You...have one?" He sighed. "Thank goodness, I can play, and be rid of these damned convulsions!"

"Hold on, now. Ya'll ain't playin' that thing 'till you've said howdy t' th' family." Applejack revealed her trump card. Be nice, or be shaky.

If looks could kill, Christian would have recreated Hiroshima and Nagasaki right then and there. He began to grit his teeth. "Alright, pony. You will have your wish. I will enter, I will be polite, I will not insult you, your family or your orchard...and I can play?"

"Good. Now git! Ah ain't told 'em 'bout ya yet, but Ah bet my apples that they've heard o' ya'll 'cause o' gossip." Applejack said, opening the door and scooting him through. The sight that greeted Christian was not entirely expected.

They had walked into the living room, where there was a fireplace, which was currently alight and the only source of light in the room, some rugs on the floor, a couch and an old rocking chair...and a piano. However much he hated it, Christian had to hold it and talk to the family in question.

A large red pony was lying on the couch, fast asleep. A small yellow pony was lying in front of the fireplace, who wasn't asleep just yet. A medium sized green pony was in the rocking chair, sleeping and snoring rather loudly.

Green pony most likely Granny Smith, due to age, and colouration. Cannot see eye colour. Mane white. Cutie mark of a pastry, probably an apple pie, if the combo continues. Raged breathing when not...ugh, snoring at 200 decibels. Feeble old women sitting in a rocking chair. How quaint. Seems very old, even by pony standards. Would say approximately five years of life by initial observations alone.

Large red stallion most likely Big Macintosh. Cannot see eye colour. Mane blonde. Cutie mark of a bisected green apple. Wearing what appears to be a yoke. Large, probably older brother. Cannot get much detail, due to sleeping status.

Yellow pony most likely Apple Bloom. Orange eyes. Red mane, with a red hair tie in it. Strange, no cutie mark...

Christian didn't get much further before Apple Bloom jumped up and squealed. "What's that?" she cried in a voice that sounded like a cheese grater to the humans ear drums. She was pointing a hoof at him shakily.

Her squeal woke Big Macintosh and Granny Smith. Big Macintosh immediately leaped to action, about to buck the human senseless.

"Woah, woah, woah, Big Mac! No need t' buck 'im. Calm the hay down!" Applejack cried, diving in front of Christian.

Big Mac said nothing, but gave an apologetic look to his sister, and stood aside.

Apple Bloom was still shaking, not entirely sure what Christian was.

Granny Smith was sitting in her chair, staring at him with her big red eyes.

None of them looked like they trusted him at all. Nor should they. I may just burn this to the ground, along with the orchard.

"Alright, everypony, calm down. This here's one o' them humans ya'll may o' heard 'bout. His name's Christian." Applejack explained.

Almost instantly, their expressions softened. Big Mac as he was now known stopped looking like he wanted to buck him into oblivion. Looking at his muscle bulk, he probably could, too. Granny stopped looking at him suspiciously, and Apple Bloom looked at him with curiosity.

The little yellow filly was the first to respond. "Well howdy there! My name's Apple Bloom! Nice t' meetcha, Mr. Christian!" she began to trot up to him, sitting back on her haunches at the tip of his shoes. "Wow, ya'll're mighty tall!"

Christian, through this, had not said a word. He was still focused on the piano. He shook his head, and looked down at the little horse with malice. He was about to speak when Applejack gave him a look. He knew exactly what it meant.

Christian absolutely despised this, but he did it for the piano. She stood up straight, breathed in, smiled and said:

"Why hello, everypony. I apologise for the abrupt entry, but Applejack insisted." He knelt down to the young filly, and extended an arm. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Apple Bloom." Apple Bloom took his hand and shook eagerly, and giggled. "Ya'll have a funny accent."

Christian huffed internally. Because an Australian accent is so much stranger than a southern United States one. Yes, I see the logic in that. Externally, he kept his false smile.

Christian then walked over to Big Mac, but said nothing. The two just stared at each other, and not a word was spoken for a solid minute.

"I am glad we understand each other."

"Eeyup."

Big Mac seemed to relax slightly, and extended a hoof without a word. Christian took it and shook it. He then moved on to Granny Smith.

"You must be Mrs. Smith. A pleasure to meet you as well." he said, again extending his arm. Granny Smith chuckled. "Most folks 'round here call me Granny Smith, sonny. No need t' be all courteous."

"Courteous. There is a word I never believed to have heard from these hicks", Christian thought bitterly, before shaking Granny Smiths hoof and going to stand by Applejack once more.

"Well everypony, Ah have t' tell ya, the Princess ordered that Christian stay here on th' farm for a few days, see what it's like. So, he'll be livin' with us." The orange farm pony announced.

The rest of the apples didn't seem the least bit displeased. It was somewhat odd how quickly they accepted him.

"Well then sonny, we've all got 'n early start t'morrow, so get yer behind t' th' guest room," Granny Smith said, or rather, commanded.

"Actually, Granny Smith, I noticed you have a piano. Do you mind if I play for you? Think of it as a gift for allowing me to stay here in this..." Christian paused. "Lovely," Horrid, "Cosey," Awful, "House." Ramshackle of a barn.

"Uh, sure sonny." Granny looked slightly puzzled. "Now Ah ain't seen nopony play this thing well 'sides myself, so go 'head, if'n ya think ya got th' skill."

His smile was genuine. "Trust me, Apple family. I have much skill. You are going to love this." With that, he pulled up a stool in front of the piano, pressed a few keys experimentally, pressed on the pedals to check if they work, and then when all was said and done,

he began to play.

The house filled with the sweet notes his fingers enticed from the black and white keys, his fingers flying across them, playing beautiful music. What's more, he was doing it with his eyes closed.

Eventually, the music had to stop after he had worked out all of his stress. It had not taken long, in fact, it took the duration of a single song, approximately three minutes. By the end, however, the Apple family was completely absorbed by his skill.

"Wow...just...wow..." was all Apple Bloom had to say.

Big Mac said nothing as expected, and just nodded.

Applejack was staring at the keys. "Yer fingers flew across the keys like lightning! That was amazing!"

Granny Smith smiled. "I ain't seen nopony ever play something so grand, so well! What was that there song called?"

Christian took a deep breath. He was fully relaxed. "The song is called "Cohen's Scherzo no.7. I learned to play it not long ago, but it quickly became a favourite."

Christian stood and stretched. "I am very tired, exhausted even. If you would not mind, Applejack, could you show me to my quarters?"

Applejack quickly said something that sounded like "Sure, g'night everypony," before ushering him out into the next room where the stairs were located. When they were there, Applejack turned to him.

"That was truly amazing, Christian. Really." She said. She was sincere.

"Yes, well, it was worth the effort of making nice with the Apples. Honestly, I did not mean a single word I said."

And with that, the magic was gone. Applejack frowned. "'Course ya didn't. Celestia forbid that ya actually be nice to somepony fer real."

"Indeed. Now, where will I be sleeping?" Christian asked.

Applejack led him up the stairs to his room. When they opened the door, it was pretty much what he was expecting. A single bed with pillows, a bedside table, a mirror, and literally nothing else besides the window and curtains.

"About what I had estimated." Christian said with an air of distaste. He simply stood in front of the doorway, and looked back at his orange host. "Around what time will we be waking?"

"5:00 am sharp."

Applejack was surprised when Christian shrugged. "I have been up earlier. I will see you then?"

Applejack looked at him oddly. "Yeah, uh sure. G'night."

"Indeed."

With that, Christian closed the door on his host, and went to the bedside table. He stripped down to his underwear, and after placing his clothes neatly over the end of the bed, slipped under the covers and lay his head on the pillow.

Christian took a deep yawn, and rolled onto his side.

A room to myself with a comfortable bed. Four different family members, each seemingly nice, in their own way. Work with pay in the morning. And they love my piano skills.

He sighed. I think I am going to like it here.

Not three seconds later, he remembered where he was.

Wait...no. No I will not.

And with that, sleep took him.

This was the next step in the large chain of events centred around the two strangest creatures in Equestria, now unofficial guests, Christian and Georgina.

Sorry, Geo.

///

Author note: People, this will be the last chapter before the sporadic updating begins. I have no idea when I will have enough time to write the next chapter, but it should be in a few days, depending on homework. This in no way means that this story is going On Hiatus. It's a few days max.

Next chapter, Christian works for the Apple family, and Rarity makes some new clothes for her house guest.

The song Christian played on the piano is called "Cohen's Scherzo no.7. The link is a video of the song being played pretty much exactly how Christian played it. Listen to the song while reading that paragraph. It is one of my favourite songs, and I have no idea why. Maybe it's because of how complex it is. The link follows.

Cohen's Scherzo no.7

It Gets Worse

Slightly earlier, at Carousel Boutique...

The warm water cascading down her back, the room filled with steam, the shower curtains making an enclosed, comfortable area. Geo felt truly relaxed.

As soon as she had arrived at Rarity's boutique, Geo had immediately been ushered upstairs to the bathroom, where Rarity had practically forced her inside, and closed the door behind her, telling her not to come out until she was completely clean. The majority of the dirt and leaves her body had accumulated during her trip to Ground Zero was actually on her clothes, and not so much herself, but Geo was not the kind to turn down a shower. And now, there she was, in a capsule of hot water vapor.

She stood there, letting the warm water and steam and curtains form a little barrier between her and the rest of the universe. Geo truly had time to herself. Time to think.

In all honesty, the past two days had gone rather quickly. She was just sitting in her apartment with her less-than-pleasant roommate and friend, discussing which of the sexes was better (he won the battle, not the war) when they and some of their household items were transported to another dimension. A dimension filled with ponies, of all creatures. With everything going on, the warp, the first encounter, the hospitalisation of her fellow human, and then the arrangement she currently found herself in, Geo hadn't really let it all sink in yet.

Showers tend to do that to people. Provoke thoughts.

Geo thought about it. A world where evolution had decided that equines were the dominant species, as opposed to primates. It was a slightly unsettling concept, now that she truly thought about it. There are no other humans, only animals. It didn't make much sense that said horses had not even evolved much from what they were like on Earth, and yet they were the central species. They were still in the stage that was the equivalent to humans when they were apes.

How had these horses even created half of the stuff that they had? They were horses. For Christ's sakes, they don't even have fingers!

Then again, there are also unicorns, pegasi and alicorns, not just the standard earth ponies.

Geo went over what she knew about this world from the somewhat brief conversation she had with the princesses outside of the library, and with various other sources.

These ponies have somehow evolved enough that they're able to build houses, and libraries, and hospitals...some of the hospital devices looked kind of advanced...

Truly, to anyone where she came from, if Geo told them that in another dimension, there was a world that was ruled by horses, she'd be wheeled away by the nice men in white coats to a lunatic asylum, spending the rest of her life in a padded cell.

Yeah, those aren't nice thoughts. Let's just move away from that...

Horses ruling everything. An unreal concept in her world, and a very real one in this world. What she didn't understand was that in her world, their were ponies, and unicorns and pegasi existed, but only in mythology. How come humans didn't exist in anything here, ever?

That there's a real chin-scratcher.

Geo paused at her last thought. Good God, I sound like Applejack.

After that, Geo decided to partake in a little shower singing.

This is your time to pay! This is your judgement day!
We made a sacrifice,
And now we get to take your life!
We shoot without a gun! We'll take on anyone!
It's really nothing new,
It's just a thing we like to do!

Geo then began to sign slightly louder.

You'd better get ready to die! Get ready to die!
You'd better get ready to kill! Get ready to kill!
You'd better get ready to run, 'cause here we coooooooooome!
You'd better get ready to die! Ready to diiiiiiie!

Without realising, Geo had gotten even louder. At this point, one could hear her from downstairs. Rarity was not amused, but considering she did the same thing in the shower, she kept her mouth shut.

Your life is over now! Your life is running out!
When your life is at an end,
Then it's time to kill again!
We cut without a knife! We live in black and white!
You're just a parasite,
Now close your eyes and say goodnight!

Rarity had begun to actually pay attention to the lyrics. "Goodness, those words are simply horrid! Why would they have such things in music?"

Geo continued with the song, repeating the chorus.

The next portion of the song was just "Get ready to die" said in repetition, though when she belted out the final "diiiiie!" Geo covered her mouth, hoping no one had heard her. She wasn't aware she was far beyond that point. The song over, she simply sighed, and leaned back against the wall behind her.

The warm water continued to flow, and after a bit, Geo decided to make actual use of it, choosing then to wash her hair. She turned to look at the bottles on the shelf, but without her glasses, and because of the steam, it was very hard to see. There were so many bottles and tubes, all horribly blurred.

She grabbed one anyway, a white one from what she could tell, moved it as close to her eyes as she could, and tried her hardest to read the label. All that her eyes picked up were blurry black lines. She groaned. Well, crap.

Another thought then occurred to the girl. Do ponies write like us? How'll I be able to read this? That train of thought kept going. How do ponies even write? I mean, there's that tiny gap-thing in their hooves, they could hold a pen there, or something...a pegasus could use magic...wait, I mean unicorn...pegasus magic, what the hell? She shook her head. Right. Hair. Clean. Shampoo. Hopefully not freaking turpentine or something.

Geo stood stock still for a moment, warm water pounding her neck and back, pondering what to do. In the end, she shrugged, and just opened the bottle she was holding, hoping that it was shampoo. It didn't matter too much to her. unless it's actually turpentine. I'd like to keep my scalp, thanks.

By sheer luck, it was shampoo. Or conditioner. Ha! Bloody fluke, that was.

As she ran her hands through her hair, worming her fingers through the strands, Geo continued to think about the world she was in. They say "Equestria". Is that, like, a country, a continent or the whole planet?

Many other questions made their way through her head, such as Why the hell would they call this place "Ponyville? That's like calling Melbourne "Humantown." and Cutie Marks. How do they work?

One question that came around was, How exactly are they planning on getting us back? They said something about diamonds and jokes...I dunno. Suddenly, another very interesting question came into her head. This one, however, seemed to bounce around in her skull, refusing to disappear into the hoard of other self-inquires swimming in her consciousness.

Do I actually want to leave when the time comes?

Geo thought long and hard about this. She hated humans, humanity, what they had done, what they were going to do. She was part of the single most destructive race in her world, the single most destructive race in all of discovered life, including these ponies. If she stayed here, she could be away from all of that.

A world without humans...that'd be a bloody paradise. But...

I'm a human. What if I corrupt ponies?

From there, there was only silence aside from the sound of water against skin as that one question bounced through her head, getting louder and louder.

Ignoring the voice in her head, which should be worrying her on several levels, Geo placed the bottle back on the shelf. She decided not to try another one, fearing her luck wouldn't hold. There was a reason she didn't gamble unless Christian was around. He could see patterns. She couldn't. At this point, I literally can't see anything.

Unbeknownst to Geo, a small remainder of the shampoo was on her forehead, in droplet form. Now, this was not the type of shampoo one should get in one's eye, lest they feel like they had just used bleach eye drops. However, the gods of screwing with people had decided that one drop would snake it's way through the maze of acne, through the eyebrows, and straight into contact with her eyeball.

Geo let out a small squeal as she went to try and rub it out. As she did, she took a step forward, lost her balance...

And slipped.

From outside the bathroom, a squeak was heard, followed by a squeal, followed by a loud thud, then followed immediately by "OW! GODDAMMIT!"

Downstairs, Rarity had heard the resounding thud, and the following blasphemy (though she didn't know it to be that), and went to go see what was wrong.

Geo was laying at the bottom of the shower-bath hybrid, clutching her lower back with her left hand, and her eye with her right, both now in searing, unrelenting pain. In actuality, it wasn't as bad as she was making it out to be. In that regard, she was more like Rarity than the two of them would ever know.

However, as she went to try and stand up, she noticed the position she was in. Laying down under a warm flow of water, legs spread...

Geo's mind, being Geo's mind, suddenly began to flow with dirty thoughts. It's been two days since we've been here...and it was the day before that that I had last-

Realising what she had just thought, Geo recoiled in minor disgust. Really? In a strangers shower? For Gods sake, girl, are you really that desperate?

As the angel and devil on her shoulders debated over whether to pay attention to an area considerably lower than her shoulders, there was a knocking on the door. It seems the angel would be appeased this time.

"Hello? Geo, are you alright? I heard a loud noise. Did you fall?" Rarity called through the door, concern in her voice, though it was barely audible over the shower and the blood rushing through Geo's ears.

Geo stood as quickly as she could, afraid that somehow Rarity would see her. She had let many people, "Probably too many," said a voice that sounded suspiciously like Christian's in the back of her mind, see her naked before, but...an animal? She was somewhat unsure.

"Geo?" Rarity called again, knocking thrice against the bathroom door.

"Uh, yeah, I'm fine. I fell, but I'm, uh, okay." Geo stammered. The pain in her lower back had disappeared entirely, though her eye still stung slightly. She turned to stop the flow of water, now feeling like more of a burden than the liquid relaxation it was before. Geo then pulled the curtain open, and stood on the adjacent bathmat.

A small chuckle was heard from outside the bathroom. "I heard you singing. Quite an odd little song you had there."

Geo blushed. She knew she couldn't sing. As Christian had once quoted, 'My dear, you sound as if four fully grown Vietnamese men were having their intestines pulled out of their mouths.'

"Sorry about that. I won't do it again..." Geo called back.

"Oh no, by all means, go ahead," Rarity affirmed. "I needed a good laugh."

Geo scowled. Bloody pompous cow...

Her little barricade from the universe broken, Geo went to pick up the dirty clothes on the floor to put back on, before a thought struck her.

I have literally no clean clothes.

Geo blanched. Which means if I want new ones, I'll have to get measured up, and...I need new panties...

She was not looking forward to the upcoming conversation.

"Hey, uh, Rarity? You still there?" Geo called, her voice echoing off of the tiles, steam still flooding the room, but not as much as previously.

"Yes, darling, what do you need? Did I forget to give you a towel? Oh, goodness me, I can be so forgetful sometimes..." Rarity replied. "Well, I'll bring you the towel, and then you can get dressed and I can get to know you a little more while you stay here."

Hey, you did forget, actually. Huh. "Uh, yeah, about that..." Geo began.

She heard something that resembled a sigh through the door. "I'm not sure I like that tone. What's wrong?"

"You know how my clothes are dirty?" Geo began.

"Yes?"

"Well, I can't wear the same clothes again, even if you wash them. It's...unsanitary."

"I couldn't agree more...wait, where are you going with this?"

"Alright, I'll just say it then. I need new clothes." A pause. "You're a seamstress." Another pause. "I can't really simplify it further."

There was silence. Rarity did not respond for a while, and the only noise that could be heard was Geo as she opened the window to let some of the steam out, which was causing her breathing irregularities.

Finally, the currently obscured unicorn replied. "Oh...yes, well..." she seemed to giggle nervously. "I'm not sure I could do that. I mean, you've got a different body structure, and I would never have made clothes so..." she paused, "big before."

Geo scowled again. That'd better not have been a fat joke...

"Yeah, well, you're the only tailor I know here. I won't put on these dirty clothes, not just 'cause it's gross, but I'll get dirt everywhere, and I doubt you'd want that." she mused. "Plus, it could be...I don't know, a challenge."

A contemplative hmm was heard from the other side of the door. There was a pregnant pause before Rarity replied.

"Well, I do love a challenge..." Geo could practically hear her smiling. "Alright, Geo, you have yourself a deal."

Geo smiled in return, before grabbing her glasses off of the sink rim and putting them on. "Uh, yeah, we have another problem."

"What's that, dear?"

"Um..." How do I put this... "I need new clothes for everything."

"Yes, I don't see the problem."

*sigh* Of course you don't. "I need a jumper, pants, a shirt, and... underwear."

"Why is that-"

"You need measurements. How is the only way you can measure me for underwear.?"

Another pause. "Oh, yes, right. You humans need clothing to cover your...selves."

Geo sighed. lowering her glasses and pinching the bridge of her nose. "Could you get the towel so I can at least leave the bathroom?"

"Oh, yes, of course." Geo could her Rarity actually running away from the door. The human girl looked down at the white tiles underneath her feet, and sighed once more.

This is gonna get worse before it gets any better...ugh, goddammit...

///

It wasn't too long later that Geo found herself standing in the main room of Carousel Boutique, wearing nothing but her glasses, her hair tie and the white fluffy towel Rarity had fetched for her, standing on the stage-esque area that's usually reserved for the fashionista's mannequins.

At the moment, Geo was the mannequin.

More like a goddamn test subject. Geo was really not looking forward to the upcoming events, especially the part that involves nudity. She was usually all for nudity, but this time it'd feel awkward.

Rarity had gone to find her tape measure, leaving the human girl in the large room by her lonesome. She was cold, standing on a hardwood floor in bare feet, and had pretty much nothing on. The towel covered her middle section, but her shoulders, arms and legs were exposed to the open air. Unfortunately, the towel would have to go if her new clothes were to be properly fitted.

Geo waited on that cold platform in the middle of the cold room with the cold floors. After being in a shower hot enough to scald a normal person, touching the wooden floor with bare feet was like dipping one's toes in a small tub of liquid nitrogen. That is to say, not pleasant in the slightest.

When Rarity finally returned with the tape measure in her light blue magical grasp, Geo breathed a sigh. It's not appropriate to say it was a sigh of relief, because it was just as much a sigh of defeat.

"What took you so long? It's colder than Christians heart in here!" Geo cried, on the verge of actually having her teeth chatter. Rarity just snorted in response. Geo narrowed her eyes. Some host you are...

"Alright darling, we need to get started. I'd hate to have you running around outside of your comfort zone." Rarity stated. Geo wasn't entirely sure if that was sarcastic or not.

"Right then. What should we try and make first?" Rarity inquired, seemingly dreading the upcoming towel removal as much as Geo was.

"Honestly, I think we should start with the underwear." Geo suggested. When the fashionista unicorn stared at her with a look that said Please repeat that, and by repeat that, I mean say something entirely different, Geo quickly stammered out "Uh, just to get it out of the way. You know, you could make them in the order that I'd put them on, or something?"

Rarity just sighed and shook her head. "You know what, Geo? Just...take it off. We should get this done as soon as we can."

Geo took a deep breath. Alright. I do this in front of people all the time, so why is it so hard in front of one goddamn animal? Do it like a band-aid. Don't think about it...

With that, Geo swallowed her pride, and dropped the towel.

///

Far too many awkward moments and comments later...

Rarity used her magic to hand Geo the towel, which she used immediately to cover herself.

"There, that's done with." The white unicorn breathed a sigh of relief. She didn't have to look at that anymore. In Rarity's opinion, any creature without fur or scales or feathers to cover their bare skin are just plain strange to look at. Not only that, but Geo was slightly larger than Rarity would like, as she had pointed out a few times, much to the human girls chagrin.

Geo tried to lighten the situation with a joke. "What, not even a goodnight kiss?" Her reward for this feat was a withering glare from the fashionista.

Awkward silence followed as Rarity looked over her notes on the human's physique, while Geo continued to stand there on the platform with nothing but a towel.

"So, yeah, thanks for this. I'll pay you back when I can-" Geo began, bit was quickly cut off.

"No, dearie, I won't charge you a single bit for these. Consider them a welcoming gift. I am the Element of Generosity." She smiled as she turned to Geo. "Also consider it my part of a deal. You take the clothing, and in return, we never speak of this incident again."

Geo nodded. "Fair's fair."

More silence.

"Uh, can I, you know, go and find my room? I need a bed right now." Geo asked.

Rarity nodded, having turned back to face her notes. "Yes, of course. Your residence is the first door on the left at the top of the stairs. You'll find a four-poster bed, a bedside table, a few mirrors and some hair supplies."

Geo raised an eyebrow. "So, you had all of this planned out, or do you just keep these things in a room for a reason i can't think of?"

Rarity sighed. "It's my sister's room. She sleeps there whenever she visits."

Geo's curiosity was piqued. "Oh, you have a sister? Older or younger? What's her name?"

"Yes, younger, and Sweetie Bell." Rarity replied, still not looking at the human behind her.

"That's, uh, nice." Geo said rather awkwardly. A pause. "Yeah, I'll just go now."

"Mmhm. Goodnight, Geo. Sleep well." Rarity called out to Geo, who trying to touch the floor as little as possible on her way to the staircase.

"Oh, Geo? Before you head to your new room," Rarity called, still not looking at her. "Sweetie Bell very much enjoys singing. She's good at it too." Rarity turned her head to make eye contact with Geo from across the room. "Maybe you could ask her for some tips."

Geo scowled for the third time that night at her host. She turned and trudged up the stairs, muttering something along the lines of "goddamn stuck up bitch".

Geo made it to the top, turned left, opened the door, and without doing anything else first, just walked over to the bed, crawled in under the covers and tried to sleep.

Her head hit the pillow, and as she fell asleep, one though went through her head.

I think I'm going to like it here.

Geo suddenly rethought that,

At least, I hope I will.

And with that, sleep took her.

///

The next morning at Sweet Apple Acres...

It wasn't a rooster that woke Christian up, nor was it any members of the Apple family. No, what awoke Christian was the small beam of sunlight that shone onto his closed eyes through the gap in the curtains.

Covering his eyes with his hands, Christian groaned, first with fatigue, then with annoyance as he remembered where he was and what he was meant to be doing.

Confounded ponies. They drive me to insomnia.

Christian rose from the bed, still in his clothing that he'd been wearing for three days now. He turned to look at the bed he had been given, and noticed the long beam of light extending from the window to the pillow, right where his head was.

Sol is 150 million kilometres away, and yet it has perfect accuracy.

Christian withdrew that thought. I doubt that the star that decided to make itself acquainted with my retinas is Sol.

Even though he had an almost all-encompassing urge to simply collapse upon the bed and continue his sleep, Christian stayed awake anyway. After all, the longer he was awake, the more complex and detailed his vengeance schemes would be, and the more time he had to screw with the aforementioned ponies.

Normally, Christian would have used this time to have a shower and dress himself. However, he had no new clothes. Christian snorted. I also have low hopes of these hicks owning a shower or bath.

It was strange. Christian was told that he would be awoken at 5:30 am, and yet the beam of light would indicate that it would be closer to 9:00 am. He had assumed that the Element of Honesty would have kept her word. Or maybe the sun worked differently here.

Considering the evidence, I believe the former is the most likely.

As if on cue, there was a knocking on the door, and a southern accented voice was heard from outside.

"Hey Christian? Wakey wakey! Ya'll gotta get up 'n' help us with th' orchard!" cried Applejack.

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping. as of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door, Christian thought. It was odd how that excerpt came to him at that exact moment, but he cared not.

Christian trudged to the door and opened it, causing the orange mare to jump slightly. She obviously wasn't expecting him to actually be awake, her Stetson almost falling off.

"Alright then, pony. Take me to my post. I would like to get this done as fast as humanly possible." Christian snapped irritably at her, shoving her form out of the way. Though, considering their height differences, kicked would be a more apt description.

"Hey, now slow there buddy. Ya'll ain't workin' 'till ya got some food in ya." Applejack pointed out as she trotted up to the mildly fatigued human.

"Oh, good, horse food." Christian sighed. "I do not suppose you have anything other than daises or wheat? I have not eaten for a while, now that I ponder such a situation, and though I am not yet debilitated, I believe a source of protein and iron would be imperative to my survival."

An intelligent "What?" was the response he received.

Christian sighed again, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I need meat in my system if I am to survive."

Applejack narrowed her eyes at him. "Well, ya'll ain't gettin' any. Yer jus' gonna hafta eat what we eat."

"You do not understand, pony. My body will not take the outright rejection of meat very well. I will need to eat something." Christian explained.

Applejack simply ignored that comment, and said "Fer breakfast, we're havin' Granny Smith's Apple Pie."

That gave Christian pause. "Pardon? We are having pie? For breakfast?"

"Yup. Ya'll got a problem with that, too?"

Christian was silent for a few seconds. "I suppose it is better than nothing..." he grumbled.

Applejack rolled her eyes. "That's th' spirit," she quipped sarcastically.

"Oh, shut up and feed me."

After they had walked downstairs and to the kitchen, Christian found that the rest of the Apples had already gathered around the table, and had their meals in front of them. Applejack had not lied, each pony had a slice of Apple Pie on the plate in front of them, of varying sizes and textures. Big Mac had a large slice, while Apple Bloom had a small one. Granny Smith had what used to be a piece, but what was not a pile of mush on her plate. There were two other plates, and Christian need not have guessed who they were for.

Applejack greeted the rest of her family with a hearty "Howdy", while Christian simply waved them off, having no need to be polite anymore now that he had removed his desires had been sated. The Apples thought nothing of it, simply contributing it to waking up early.

Speaking of which...

"Applejack, you told me you were to wake me at 5:30, yet the sun is considerably higher in the sky than that." Christian pointed out, looking at the orange mare with a raised eyebrow. "Care to explain, Element of Honesty?"

"Ah kept my promise. Ah came t' check on ya at 5:30. What's yer point?" Applejack retorted.

"The positioning of the sun would indicate it to be at least 9:00. Yet you claim it to be 5:30. Explain."

"Well, Princess Celestia has been known t' accidentally raise th' sun a little early-" Applejack began, before the human cut her off.

"Alright, farm dweller, let me teach you some basic astronomy." Christian said, his voice raised slightly. "One: planets rotate around stars, not the other way around." He paused, waiting for a reaction. When all he received were bemused frowns from everypony present, he continued anyway. "Two: one does not simply move stars. Stars are much larger than-"

Apple Bloom took this time to interrupt. "But the sun ain't a star, the sun's a sun. Stars appear at night."

Christian gave her a withering glare. "I was not conversing with you, child. In any case, you are incorrect. The sun is a star, and this planet is orbiting that star."

"But Miss Cherilee said-"

Christian snapped. He had had enough of these uneducated hicks, and it had not been five minutes since he had walked down the stairs.

"I do not care what your imbecile teacher says, because I know I am correct. Many humans from many different eras have put much study into the subject, myself included, so do not tell me that the Princess can move stars, or that the sun is not a star, without some solid evidence, and not just the word of some pony who teaches at a primary school!"

The table was silent. Nopony uttered a word. Granny Smith looked appalled, Apple Bloom looked as if she was going to cry, and Big Mac looked angry. However, the biggest reaction was from Applejack.

She was furious.

"How dare you." She said. Applejack said it softly as well, as if she was holding back the rage.

"How dare I what? Teach your sister, and no doubt the rest of you, how celestial bodies function?" Christian scowled. "If anything, you should thank me."

It was Applejack's turn to snap. "How DARE you!" she yelled, getting out of her seat, and right into Christian's face.

"Ya think that ya'll can jus' walk in here after we invited ya t' stay, an' then treat yer hosts like manure? Ya'll think you're better than us? Huh?" Applejack was shouting now. "She's jus' a child! How could ya go 'round treatin' colts an' fillies like that? Ah don' care how ya'll were treated as a child, ya'll're gonna treat my family with some respect!"

Christian stood himself, causing the small wooden chair to fall over. "I do not need to treat you with respect. I value intelligence above all else, and I cannot respect you if the brightest thing about the Apple family is their coats!"

Big Mac decided to take a stand. "That's enough!"

Christian turned to him as well. "Do not get involved in this, work horse. This is between me and your sister."

"Ah've ev'ry right t' get 'nvolved 'n this! If my sister is in trouble, Ah ain't jus gonna stand 'round 'n do nothin!" Big Mac cried.

"Mm? Do you feel the need to save her?" Christian inquired, with a hint of malice in his voice.

"Eeyup! Ah'll save my family from anythin' that comes our way!" Big Mac replied indignantly.

Christian had all he needed.

"Let me see...a desire to protect your loved ones...you are cared for by your grandmother, with your real parents mysteriously gone." Christian smirked. "Tell me, Macintosh, what exactly were you unable to save your parents from?"

Big Mac stopped. Not a word escaped his lips. He seemed lost in memory. The other members of the family were shocked, however.

"Ya'll're talkin' 'bout my kids there, sonny!" Granny Smith called out. "Ah ain't gonna take too kindly t' slander."

Christian turned to face her. "Of course you had to have a say, you acursed gorgon. You call them your kids; do you mean that as if you saw them both as your children, or where they actually both your children?" Christian smirked again. "All in favour of the latter option being the truth, say 'aye'."

"THAT IS IT!" Applejack howled, turning around to buck the human in the chest. Christian had seen the move coming, however, and quickly jumped backwards out of range, where he continued to taunt the family.

"Congratulations. Your family consists of a senile octogenarian, an emotionally scarred brute, a small child with an even smaller intellect, and a girl who thinks violence solves all." Christian smirked once more, causing fire in Applejack's chest. "What is more, is that the latter three of you are most likely the result of incest."

He then turned to Granny Smith, who was standing now as well, and said with a voice dripping in both venom and sarcasm, "You must be so proud."

Applejack had definitely had enough, but had thought about what Christian had said about her resorting to violence. It was true, she did. So, she decided to use words instead. Applejack was not usually the type to say what she was about to say, but desperate times...

"Ya'll think yer tough, don'tcha?" Applejack asked rhetorically. "Ya like t' hurt ponies with words, right?"

Applejack had a smirk of her own. "Well then, why do';t we take a few jabs at somepony you care 'bout."

Christian simply laughed, though no humor made itself known. "Who could you possibly insult to harm me? I am emotionally derelict. There is no one, living or dead, who could possibly have any effect on me."

Applejack hated this, but she had too to get him to shut up about her family.

"Ah don't think ya'll'd appreciate it if Ah talked trash 'bout her sister."

That stopped Christian right where he was.

"If you so much as speak her name with negative connotations, I will do to you what John Wilkes Booth did to Abraham Lincoln." Christian threatened, not registering the fact that these ponies have no idea who either of those humans are.

"No, ya said bad things 'bout me and mine, now Ah get t' say things 'bout yours." Applejack explained.

"That is different. She has done nothing to deserve your malice. Your family have." Christian retorted.

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

"I have already stated my reasons." He pointed at each pony in turn, beginning with Granny Smith. "You are geriatric." He pointed at Bic Mac. "You let emotion take control rather than logic." Then Apple Bloom. "You are simply uneducated, and your very existence is an insult."

He then pointed to Applejack, his facial expression perfectly neutral. "You bucked me in the head and had me in hospital for a day. You have all done things to aggravate me, and thus you have received a swift vengeance."

"Then what did my Ma 'n' Pa do t' get insulted? Huh?" Big Mac yelled, taking Christian's attention away for just a second.

"If you recall, I did not insult them. I simply deducted that they were dead, and that they were brother and sister." He grinned darkly. "I know you value honesty, so I will be honest. I first believed Apple Bloom to be your offspring, Applejack. The father being Macintosh, of course. I would not put it past farmers, and ponies no less."

"Well, ya did insult 'em in my book, so Ah'm goin' to go for yer only weakness!" Applejack declared. "Was Alex really stupid enough to-"

Applejack did not see the kick coming, nor was she able to avoid it. She could only stumble backwards as the surprisingly powerful kick caused pain to flood her sinuses.

"I told you not to say her name with a negative connotation," Christian growled, "and now you pay the price."

Big Mac looked about ready to burst, and had turned around to buck the cold human into next week when Applejack cried "Don't! Ah've got this!"

Shaking her head a little, Applejack stood her ground. "So, ya'll defended yer sister."

Christian narrowed his eyes. "What is your point, pony?"

"Well, if you can do it, why can't Ah?" Applejack asked. "That's what started this. Ya yelled at my sister, and Ah stood up for her. You had a problem with that, an' took it out on me. Then, when Ah try to hurt your sister, ya'll defend her!" Applejack lowered her voice. "Now you tell me how in tarnation that's fair."

Christian said nothing. He simply glared at the orange farm mare in front of him, standing tall, defending her family. Her kind and welcoming family. They had welcomed him into their home without a second thought, and yet he treated them like this?

"Christian, think o' it this way. What would Alex say if she was here right now?" Applejack asked, no longer caring about the pain.

Christian paused before replying. "She would have said 'These people have let you into their home, with nary a care for whom you were or what you had done. Why do you treat them like this, Christian? I taught you better than that.'"

"Exactly." Applejack said simply.

Christian grimaced. "But she would not say that, because she is dead."

Applejack sighed. "That don't matter. She'd have been disappointed in you."

Christian definitely thought about that one. Alex would have been very upset that he had treated someone with such contempt, more so because they were animals.

He still had a look of pure hate on his face, but eventually, Christian sighed.

He turned to face the rest of the Apples. "I...apologise," he spat out, the word feeling like poison on his tongue, "for causing you so much grief." Looking at them again in turn, again starting with Granny Smith.

"I apologise for calling you senile and geriatric, and for insulting your children. You seem like a nice woman, and I would very much like to try one of your apparently 'famous' pies." said Christian. Granny Smith, seemingly satisfied, nodded and smiled slightly. She'd been around long enough to know when an apology was genuine.

"I apologise to you, Macintosh, for calling you emotionally unstable, and for insinuating Apple Bloom was your daughter. You are very determined to keep your family safe, and had I any family left, I would admire such a trait." He continued. Big Mac still looked angry, but accepted Christian's words, and sat down.

"I apologise to you, Apple Bloom, for insinuating that you were stupid. You are just a child, and would not be expected to know these things," he looked at everypony else, "though the rest of you should." This got him a few glares. "I also apologise for insulting your teacher. I simply do not trust a primary school teacher with astronomy, is all." Apple Bloom, always one to forgive, smiled at the apology and trotted back to her seat.

Finally, the bitter human turned to Applejack. "Alright, let us get this over with." Christian cleared his throat.

"I apologise for almost eating Fluttershy, for ruining any potential relationship between Spike and Rarity, for insulting your diarchs, for viciously attacking and hospitalising Rainbow Dash, for having you bare through my life story, for having myself stuck here, and for insulting your family, both those living and life impared."

Applejack smiled. "There, was that so hard?"

Christian did not smile. "Yes, it was excruciating. Now, if all of this unpleasantness is out of the way, I would like to eat for the first time in three days, if you would not mind."

Applejack's smile vanished. Ah knew it was too good t' be true... "Yeah, fine."

And so the human and orange pony sat down, and began to eat. Christian was somewhat unused to eating a slice of apple pie without a fork or spoon, but he would manage.

Before he could take a bite, however, Applejack piped up. "Wait jus' a minute. Ya'll didn't apologise fer kickin' me in th' face!"

Christian sighed. "You bucked me in the head. I did the same to you. We are even, for the moment."

Applejack said nothing, opting just to glare at the human as she ate.

The human simply picked up the large piece of pastry, and took a bite. After chewing for a bit, Christian's eyes widened considerably for the smallest of seconds. He would never admit that he thought this apple pie was the single greatest thing to every grace his taste buds.

"So, how's the pie, Christian?" Apple Bloom asked in her high pitched voice. She had seemingly forgotten about the previous incident entirely.

Christian hesitated on how to answer. He ran though many possibilities, most of them things like "exquisite" or "marvelous", but all he actually said was "It is...adequate."

That seemed to satisfy the filly, who went about happily eating her pie, not a care in the world.

Christian, however, went back to contemplating how he would get back at these ponies. He would get back at them, no matter what the cost.

They would pay for this.

This was the next step in the large chain of events centered around Equestria's two strangest creatures, now official guests, Christian and Georgina.

Sorry, Geo.

Author notes: I have returned, humble followers and fans, as i said i would. A new chapter has arrived! I'm really sorry it took so long, but better late than never, right? Right?

So, yeah, I may be able to update tomorrow, I may not. Like I said, sporadic updates.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed, stay tuned, and so on and so forth.

The Wager

Not long later, outside in the Sweet Apple Acres apple orchard...

Christian gazed in awe. He had walked right past this place, and not seen its sheer size because of how dark it was at the time. There was no denying it. Sweet Apple Acres was enormous.

Christian and Applejack where standing on the top of a hill overlooking the expanse of apple trees. It did actually go on a long way. The sun was high in the sky, and while Applejack maintained that the current time was 6:00 am, Christian did not believe her. The sky was bright and blue already. The sky was never bright and blue at 6:00 am. Nor was the sun almost at the same height is should be at if it were midday.

Overlooking the large orchard caused Applejack's heart to swell with pride. Every morning, she and her brother went out to buck the trees with ripe apples, or prune the others. It was hard, but honest work, and she couldn't be happier, and she could say the same for the rest of the Apple family.

Christian, however, had much less pure thoughts.

At first, after viewing the orchard, he was astounded at the sheer size of it. It was bigger than any apple orchard on Earth. However, the thought that this orchard was the only source of income for the Apple family was ever present in the back of his mind, and images of the orchard on fire, flames spreading quickly from one tree to another, ruining the Apples for the rest of their lives.

Hmph. That would teach them.

But Christian began to think more about the aftereffects of such an occurrence. Fire spread quickly. It may spread to the town, which was not far away. Ponies would die. Members of the Apple family may die. As much as he despised the ponies of this world, he would not kill them. They could not suffer that way.

Maybe it would be better to poison the trees one by one, slowly causing the Apples to lose hope and move away, having nothing left for them here, Christian thought to himself. Maybe find myself a large swarm of insects...release it here...that way, the Apples wouldn't die, and they could continue their lives, now in total misery.

Christian was distracted from his train of thought with a hard nudge to his hip, causing him to stagger slightly. He turned to the source of the annoyance with a look of irritation on his face to find that Applejack had head-butted him in the side to gain his attention.

"Where you listenin' t' a thing Ah said, Christian?" Applejack asked, a hint of disappointment to her voice.

Christian mock yawned. "No I was not, simple farm pony. You were boring me, and so I simply...tuned out." he said, looking her straight in the eye.

There was a tense moment when the two of them locked eyes. Applejack's emerald beauties against the unique colouration of Christian's eyes, the grey-green-blue. They stared, completely silent, until Applejack began to feel sick, and looked away. Christian smirked. No one beats me in a staring competition.

"Alright then, if what Ah was sayin' was so totally borin', then why don't Ah make it short an' sweet?" Applejack finally retorted.

Christian simply sniffed in response. "Oh by all means, go ahead. Dazzle me."

Applejack took a breath, trying to remain calm and not buck the human right in the face. "Alright then, this's what we'll be doin'. Jus' down this here hill is a bunch o' apple trees. These trees'll be 'bout right fer buckin' this time o' year, so what we're gonna do is-"

Christian shook his head and held up his hands. "Alright, alright, stop right there, pony."

Applejack sighed. "What's th' problem?" she asked through gritted teeth.

Christian nodded. "The problem at hand is your accent. It is nigh impenetrable. I cannot understand a word you are saying." Christian then flashed his trademark smirk and said, "Are you able to emulate an accent able to be understood by those who were not raised on a farm?"

The orange farm mare actually had a response to this. All o' them lessons on how t' speak all fancy-like from when Ah was a filly may jus' come in handy.

Applejack cleared her throat, and said in an accent that almost perfectly mirrored Rarity's, "Of course, darling. I was taught how to speak properly as a filly, and I retained the knowledge imparted by my tutors. I can speak like this anytime I would wish." Applejack showed a smirk of her own, reverting back to her regular speech patterns. "But Ah don' really feel like it right now, if'n ya don' mind."

Christian stared, wide eyed. He had definitely not been expecting that.

Applejack made an effort to maintain eye contact with him, but found that after a few seconds of focusing on the colour of Christian's eyes, she felt as if she was going to vomit. What in th' hay is up with that?

Christian had, by now, stopped looking so shocked, and began to look highly irritated. "Oh, fine. Speak, farm pony. I wish to get whatever we plan to do out of the way as fast as I possibly can."

Applejack, still looking smug, which was a nice change of pace from that expression constantly plastered on Christian's face, began to explain what they were doing once again.

"Well alright. So, like Ah said, them apple trees at th' bottom o' th' hill're due fer a buckin'. Me 'n' you're headed down, and we're gonna buck them trees as hard as we darn-well can, and get all the apples t' fall." Applejack explained.

Christian scrunched up his face in confusion. "So, you do not pick the apples, rather, you kick the tree as hard as you can to shake the fruit loose?"

Applejack nodded. "That about sums it up." She looked down towards the target trees. "Now let's get a move on. We ain't got all day." With that, the orange farm pony began to walk down the hill.

Christian looked very sceptical, but if he had an opinion, he kept it to himself for once. He followed her, making sure to stay behind her.

While he was back there, his eyes slowly began to drift out from the wondrous view of the orchard to Applejack herself. Christian was the kind to notice the little things, and the body language of the mare in front of him did not go unnoticed.

Applejack walks in a way that suggests she is angry, most likely at me. She is, however, unwilling to look back at me and see how I am doing. That is a mistake; if I was plotting to kill her, this would be a good opportunity, nay, a perfect one. I could bury her underneath her precious apple trees, give them something to feed off of.

Suddenly, Applejack turned her head to look back at the human. This went unnoticed, as he was lost in thought, though he was still facing her. Or rather, a specific part of her.

"Hey!" she cried, turning around to face him, her face portraying offence.

Christian was snapped out of his little morbid fantasy at the sudden loud noise. He noticed the look on her face, but did not react with fear. Instead, he raised an eyebrow, completely oblivious to what he had done wrong.

"What did I do now, pony?" He looked back the way they had come. "Did I stand on a grave or memorial of some sort?"

"No, ya liar! Ya'll were staring at my plot!" Applejack accused, rather loudly. Christian could have sworn it echoed.

"Your..." Christian did a quick mental scan. Plot...plot...horse plot...oh... Realisation dawned on the humans face. OH.

Christian suddenly raised his hands, wide eyed. "No, it is not what you think. I can explain."

"Then explain, an' fast, 'fore Ah come over there an' buck ya in th' face!" Applejack threatened, a threat Christian had no doubt the irritated farm pony would carry out.

"Ugh...look, Applejack," Christian began, using her name for the first time since they had gone outside, "I did not look at you that way. I will never look at you that way. I was simply daydreaming and looking in your general direction at the same time." Christian ended.

Applejack still looked uncertain, but she recalled the conversation she and Geo had had in the Everfree Forest about how Christian views sex. "Well, Ah suppose ya'll're tellin' th' truth..."

Christian saw a chance, and took it. "Yes, well, even if I was looking at your plot, you will have to forgive me. In my society, women wear clothes to hide themselves. You, on the other hand, wear nothing but your hat." At that, a certain Tom Jones song came to mind.

"Aha! So ya were lookin'! Ah caught ya red-hoofed!" Applejack cried in triumph.

"No, you misinterpret me..." Christian stopped. "You know what? I do not care what you think. If you believe you are attractive enough to draw the eyes of one who cares not for physical form, then that is your delusion." Christian shook his head in disgust. "For goodness sake, you are an animal, anyway. I am not a zoophile by any means." Christian looked thoughtful for a second, before suddenly chuckling. "I unfortunately do not know how Geo would feel about such things. I will naturally assume the worst with her, however."

Applejack just scowled, turned back towards the orchard, and did not speak a word to the human until they reached the trees they were meant to be bucking, though she did check over her shoulder every now and again to see if Christian was...peeking. He made a concentrated effort not to look in her general direction.

When they did get to their destination, the farm pony turned to the human once again, only this time it was not blame that came from her mouth.

No, this time, Applejack was here to teach Christian how to buck.

Trotting over to the nearest tree, the orange mare looked up to check if these particular apples were ripe. They seemed it. Good. This here tree'll be a mighty fine example.

"Okay then, Christian. Now, if ya'll want t' buck down some apples, ya don't jus' go buckin' an' kickin' all willy-nilly." Applejack explained. For emphasis, she turned around, and bucked the tree with one hind leg. The apple tree shook slightly, but didn't release any of its succulent fruit. "See?"

Christian didn't look particularly interested. "So, essentially, what you are doing is placing baskets underneath apple trees, kicking them, and then hoping that they land in the baskets, if any fall at all? In short, you rely on luck?" he asked, his face devoid of expression.

"Movin' on, fer a pony t' buck an apple tree, they'd jus' have t' turn 'round an' buck with all their might." Applejack continued, ignoring the sceptical human. As she was speaking, she was also dragging some nearby baskets towards the tree, placing them underneath at specific points.

Christian raised an eyebrow. Firstly, where did those baskets come from? Secondly, how does she expect to get all the apples into those baskets?

The human was expecting Applejack to have some sort of warm-up ritual of some sort, but to his moderate surprise, after placing the baskets where she thought the apples may land, she just turned around and bucked the trunk of the tree full force.

Sure enough, every single apple fell from the tree, and every single apple landed in a basket.

Christian was silent. All he could do was stare in utter disbelief while Applejack gave him a smug grin. "Nothin' to it." She declared.

There must be some trick to it, Christian thought, there is no possible way she can do that every time without fail.

"Alright, pony, shall I have a try?" Christian asked, still trying to keep up an air of disinterest. Applejack didn't buy it for a second.

"Okay then. Now, follow me t' th' next tree, an' we'll see if ya'll can buck like ya'll can talk."

The odd couple continued, leaving the previous bunch of apples in the baskets to be picked up later. When they finally arrived at another tree that Applejack deemed ready for bucking, she stood next to the large fruit-bearing plant and began to instruct Christian on how to buck properly.

"Alright then, Christian," Applejack began, "Remember what Ah said. Jus' kick as hard as ya can."

"Challenge accepted, farm pony." Christian challenged. He may have been confident on the outside, but inside he hadn't the slightest clue as to what he was doing.

He'd never tell anyone that, though.

So, he walked up to the tree, and stood perfectly still in front of it for a few seconds. Applejack just assumed he was figuring out exactly how to kick the tree.

Not long later, the human lifted his left leg, twisted his hip, and aimed the bottom of his shoe towards the trunk. When he was in what he believed to be the prime position, he let his kick go, full force. His foot struck the tree, and shook it violently.

To both his and Applejack's complete bewilderment, every single Apple fell from the tree, into the baskets.

To his credit, Christian did not turn around and gloat immediately. He was thinking thing along the lines of Excellent, I can upstage that animal at her own game, and How did those baskets get to this tree without me noticing?

After a little bit longer, Christian turned to Applejack with a large grin plastered on his face, the kind of face that just made the farm pony want to buck it clean off.

"Yeah, yeah, so ya got lucky on yer first kick. Don' be expectin' it t' be too easy." She warned, but her words fell upon deaf ears.

"If all of the trees I am to kick are as easy as this one, then I will have this done in no time at all." Christian bragged.

Ah don' think he knows how many trees we're gonna be buckin' today...

"Hey hotshot? Ya think ya'll can keep up that kind o' kickin' fer th' whole day?" Applejack challenged. Surely, the human was not arrogant enough to-

"I believe I will take you up on that, pony." Christian smirked.

Applejack sighed. He is.

Christian suddenly placed a hand on his chin, as if pondering something. There was a moment of silence, and just as Applejack was going to interrupt, he revealed what he was thinking about.

"Applejack, I have a proposition for you." Christian began. "Let us call it a...wager."

The orange mare raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? An' what would this here 'wager' entail?"

Christian paused slightly. "Huh. I did not think you would know that word." He shook his head quickly. "Nevertheless, Applejack, I challenge you to collect more apples than me by the end of the day."

Applejack snorted, trying to hold back laughter. "Are ya kiddin' me? Ya'll think that ya'll can beat me at my own game, after jus' one tree?" The mare couldn't hold on any longer, bursting out into fits of hysteria. In between gasps for breath, she managed to make out "Ya'll're crazy!"

"Yes, maybe I am, Applejack. Maybe I am." Christian said nonchalantly. "However, I believe I can do it. I honestly believe that I can be better than you at your job, and I am willing to place a bet." Christian smirked once more. "Are you up for it?"

Applejack had stopped laughing by this point, realising just how serious Christian was.

"You...ain't jokin', are ya?" she asked simply.

"No, I am not." Christian replied, just as simply.

"Alright...say Ah were t' agree t' this little...wager o' yours." Applejack began, "What'd be in it fer me?"

Christian smirked again. He knew he was slowly grating on her nerves, whether she knew it or not. "Actually, I was hoping you would come up with the terms."

Applejack was still unsure. She had a feeling the crafty human had a trick hidden up his sleeve. However, Christian was surveying her body language, and knew she was debating internally.

"What is the matter, Applejack?" Christian asked, false concern evident on his voice. "You do not think you could possibly defeat me...right?"

All Christian had to do was smirk one more time to set her off.

"Alright, that does it!" Applejack cried, pointing a hoof at him. "Ah'll show ya, ya dang upstart!"

"Excellent, Applejack! There is that fighting spirit!" Christian yelled.

"Okay, what're we bettin'?" Applejack asked. Christian could see the fire in her eyes. The farm pony was definitely determined.

"That is you choice, pony." The human replied.

Applejack didn't really have anything to bet, but she wasn't about to back down. "Um...if Ah win...ya'll..." An idea spread across her face, her emerald eyes lighting up. "Ya'll will have t' do all o' my chores fer as long as ya'll're here!"

Christian didn't even stop to think about it. "Yes, that seems fair." After a few seconds, however, Christian's own eyes lit up.

"Actually, I do have something I want out of this." Christian said. "If I win this challenge, then you have to take me into town, and buy me a few things."

Applejack scrunched up her face in confusion. "What kind o' things?"

Christian smirked once again, infuriating the pony internally. "Oh, just a few miscellaneous items, nothing of major importance, and nothing too expensive."

Christian then leaned down, and extended his arm towards the farm pony. "Do we have a deal, Applejack?"

Applejack was so engrossed in winning and teaching Christian some respect for those that were clearly better than him that she didn't really seem to think about the consequences of losing. Christian could have her buy anything for him, and the items at his disposal could be used for anything.

Of course, these were not her thoughts. Her thoughts were along the lines of Ah'll teach this smug jerk a thing 'r two 'bout respect!

Christian, however, already had plans as to what he was going to buy, and several plans involving his vengeance on the ponies. I can put them into greater detail later. I have a wager to win.

Without much thought on Applejack's part, she extended her hoof in return, and the two shook on it. "Deal." She said.

With that, the single most evil grin Applejack had seen since Nightmare Moon, Discord and the Changeling Queen spread slowly across Christian's face. He had plans. Plans within plans within plans, and fail-safes for those plans. He knew exactly what he was going to do, and when he would do it, while she fumbled in the dark.

Applejack couldn't help but think that she'd just sold her soul.

///

Meanwhile, back in room 233 in Ponyville General Hospital...

"Alright then, Miss Rainbow Dash. You've healed exceptionally well. We believe that you are well enough to leave the hospital," proclaimed Nurse Redheart. She was standing in front of a hospital bed, holding a clipboard in one hoof, but not actually facing the bed. She was looking next to it, at the cyan pegasus with the multi-coloured mane and purple-red eyes.

Rainbow did a little jump. "Yes! I knew I'd be outta here soon! Awesome!" She yelled, pumping a hoof into the air.

""Please be quiet, Miss Rainbow Dash!" the nurse pony said in a loud whisper. "There are some patients that are still asleep!"

Rainbow looked a little sheepish. "Oh, right. Sorry." She said, rubbing a hoof over the back of her neck.

"Well, that's really all we need to do here." Nurse Redheart said. "You can go."

Rainbow grinned widely, and began to trot towards the door of her room. The nurse called for her one last time before she left.

"Now Miss Rainbow Dash, we hope to never see you again under these circumstances!" she exclaimed. Rainbow chuckled slightly, before continuing all the way down the white halls, passing many sick and injured ponies, before finally making it to the entrance past the receptionist desk, not replying to the half-hearted "Have a nice day" from the receptionist.

When the doors opened, Rainbow revelled in the feeling of the wind that was blowing through her mane. She longed to fly. It had been two whole days without it. She didn't just want to fly, she needed to fly.

And so, Rainbow Dash opened her wings, flapped them experimentally a few times just to be sure, and when she confirmed everything was in working order, she shot directly upwards as fast as she possibly could, leaving a rainbow trail in her wake.

Rainbow Dash continued to fly higher and higher, until she reached the point where she could see all across Ponyville. It was a magnificent sight, though Rainbow was focused more on the fact that she was flying. She shot forward across the skies, no destination in mind. Just...flying. Freedom.

The wind blew through her mane once again, though with more force this time. She felt truly free, slipping from the bonds of the hospital bed and soaring through the sky, like all pegasi should. She began to do loops and spins, barrel rolls and dives, anything she could think of, until finally...

Rainbow flew up as high as she thought safe. Looking down at the town below her, the ponies in the streets nothing more than ants, tiny specks moving around, unaware of her presence high above their heads.

Nopony knows I'm out of the hospital yet, Rainbow thought. She manoeuvred her body so that she was facing straight down in the most aerodynamic position she was capable of.

Time to change that.

With that thought, Rainbow shot down towards the town as fast as her wings could carry her, travelling faster and faster, the wind whipping around her, whistling. She continued to gain momentum, until she could feel the pressure on her hoofs. The barrier.

Rainbow pushed with all of her might. She could feel the barrier giving in. Tears began to fill her eyes from the speed she was travelling at.

And then, it happened.

BOOM!

The Sonic Rainboom.

A large wave of multi-coloured light spread across the sky, a beautiful sight for anyone to behold. It was also very hard not to notice. There was only one pony in all of Equestria that could pull off the Sonic Rainboom, and that one name filled the minds of everypony who saw and heard it.

It was heard and seen by Pinkie Pie, who had a sudden burst of motions from her Pinkie Sense telling her to wake up and go outside. She thought it was the single most super-duper-fantastic-arific thing she had ever seen, besides all of the other Sonic Raibooms Dash had pulled off. She briefly wondered if she could make a Sonic Rainboom flavoured cupcake before bouncing back indoors.

Rarity saw it as well, because she had been up all night trying to make clothing for her human guest, and happened to be looking out of the window at the time. It filled her heart with joy to see the colours, and it gave her inspiration to keep working on the oddly shaped garments.

Geo had seen it as well, though only after putting on her glasses and looking out the window after the loud noise had awoken her from a dreamless slumber. She had some idea of what it was, and who had done it, and it was awesome.

Twilight had been doing an all-night study binge when she had also by chance looked out of the window and seen the large colourful blast. It caused her to smile and yawn, the grand colours relaxing her slightly. Spike, however, was asleep, and didn't hear or see it, snoring lightly and muttering something about gems.

Fluttershy was always and early riser, and tending to the animals was a job that she did with a smile, even if waking up very early was the price she had to pay. The loud bang and sudden waves of colour caused her to jump and shriek, but she calmed down immediately upon spotting the cause of the Sonic Rainboom. She knew who had caused it, and she couldn't have been prouder to call that pony her friend.

Applejack looked up at the sky above the orchard after just shaking on the wager with Christian, taking note of the beauty of the circle of light passing though the sky, blowing wind through the orchard. The orange farm mares mind was briefly taken off of the deal she had just made as she thought back to times with her friends.

Christian saw it as well. He recognised the sound as a jet breaking the sound barrier, but the gigantic wave of multi-coloured light was not something he had been expecting. It was...highly fascinating. Causing such a thing to happen was nigh impossible in his world. The science behind it would be very difficult to explain indeed. But those thoughts were removed from his mind upon his sharp eyes spotting the tiny cyan speck in the sky that had caused the beautiful sight. The human was immediately filled with the only emotion his cold black heart was truly capable of feeling: hate.

Through every single mind that saw the Sonic Rainboom, one name was present, though only one mind saw it as a negative thing.

That name was Rainbow Dash.

The cyan pegasus flew over the town towards her house of clouds, smiling all the way, one single thought racing through her own head.

I'm back.

This was the next step in the large chain of events centered around the two strangest creatures in all of Equestria, now unofficial guests, Christian and Georgina.

Sorry, Geo.

///

Author note: I did it! Another chapter out and ready for viewing! Remember, please tell me what's bad about this chapter, spelling and grammatical errors and the like.

Now, as many of you should know, today (April 25th) is Anzac Day, and Anzac Day marks the anniversary of the first major military action fought by Australian and New Zealand forces during the First World War. The acronym 'ANZAC' stands for 'Australian and New Zealand Army Corps', whose soldiers were known as Anzacs. Anzac Day remains one of the most important national occasions of both Australia and New Zealand.

I wish to pay my respects to those who fought and died not just at Gallipoli, but to all those who died everywhere else for their country.

Lest We Forget.

Next chapter, Rarity finishes Geo's clothing, and the wager between Christian and Applejack begins! See you then!

Also, if you didn't catch the Tom Jones song, it was "You Can Leave Your Hat On".

Veni, Vidi, Vici

Meanwhile, at the Carousel Boutique...

Geo was still staring out of the window, smiling jovially at what she had just witnessed. Rainbows were relatively common, and not exactly amazing where she came from. But that...

That was freaking epic.

From what she had guessed, she was told that Rainbow Dash was to be released today. Well, she wasn't told, she just remembered the doctor saying "You'll be here for a couple of days." She had also remembered that Dash was the fastest flier in all of Equestria, and could probably break the sound barrier.

The explosion was also multi-coloured anyway, and that just screamed Rainbow Dash.

With a content sigh, Geo went and wrapped the towel around herself so she could head downstairs. Hopefully, she could make herself a somewhat edible breakfast. Maybe pancakes. They have those here, right?

With thoughts of butter, maple syrup, sugar and lemon juice slathered pancakes filling her mind, the large girl opened the door of Sweetie Bell's room, turned towards the stairs, and slowly walked down. The floor was not any warmer than it was last night.

When Geo made it down the stairs to the main room, humming a nameless tune to herself, she was somewhat surprised to see Rarity there, working on her clothing still. She must have gotten up early...

"Uh, morning Rarity." Geo greeted, suddenly yawning. Scratching her head, she asked "So, what time did you head up to bed?"

"Oh, dear, I didn't. I stayed up all night making these odd garments for you." Rarity replied, without taking her eyes off of her work.

Geo couldn't believe it. "You...stayed up all night?" A pause. "As in, no sleep? At all?"

Rarity stopped and looked at her. "Well, of course dear. I couldn't have you spend all day indoors while I worked, so I did it while you slept." The fashionista smiled. "Besides, however challenging this was, I've had to make more difficult things in less time before."

The human girl didn't really understand how anyone could stay up all night, making clothes for someone they hardly knew. When she voiced her concerns, the seamstress just laughed it off.

"Dear, I'm the Element of Generosity. That's really an explanation in itself."

Geo nodded, muttering "Right", before walking over to Rarity and hovering over her shoulder, trying to see the clothes she'd be wearing.

Before she could see her new garments though, she was enveloped in blue magic, and pushed back slightly.

"No peeking, Geo. I'd hate for you to ruin the surprise." Rarity admonished.

"Aren't surprises more...Pinkie's style?" the human inquired.

"Yes, but I can be adventurous too, you know."

With a shrug, Geo was left with only two questions. "Uh, can you at least tell me how long they'll be? The towel isn't the best thing to be wandering this place in."

"They should be done in a little while, dear. Be patient." Rarity sniffed. "I've been up all night making these. You could show a little gratitude..."

"Hey, I am grateful!" Geo snapped defensively. "I'm just bloody cold, and wondering when I can warm up! Is that too much to ask? Bloody hell!"

The white unicorn didn't look to happy at this. She didn't say a word, however. There was no need.

The human sighed. "Look, I'm sorry. I..."

"It's alright, Geo." Rarity assured. "I know you didn't mean it."

With that, there was a long lapse in conversation between the two. Rarity worked, and Geo tried to watch. Inevitably, the human girl got bored.

"Hey, you have a kitchen?"

"Of course, dear. I'm not some kind of savage!" Rarity said, mock shock filling her voice, and probably her features, though she still faced the clothing, so it was impossible to tell.

"Uh huh...uh, you have pancake batter?"

"Yes I do. Are you going to try and cook some pancakes?"

"No, Rarity. I'm asking because I want to eat the batter on its own." Geo said jokingly.

"Very funny." Rarity replied. "The kitchen is upstairs, a few doors down from Sweetie Bell's room."

Geo just nodded, and turned towards the stairs. As she reached the bottom step, she turned towards the fashionista. "You want some?"

"I'd appreciate that, thank you."

Nodding once more, Geo walked up the stairs, walked down the hall past Sweetie Bell's room, past the bathroom, two other rooms (one was probably Rarity's room), and opened the door at the end of the hall. There, stood the immaculate white tiles of the kitchen. An oven with a stove, a fridge, a wooden table with four equally wooden chairs,

Alright. Pancakes time.

Looking around the kitchen, the human girl opened up several cupboards in search of the fabled pancake batter that she so desired. She found pretty much everything else she needed, the frying pan, the plates, knives and forks, butter, lemon juice and maple syrup. But no batter.

Finding all of these objects took the better half of twenty minutes, so when Geo finally found the batter, it was up in a high shelf, right at the back. She had needed to stand on a chair she'd pulled over from the table nearby.

"Oh that's bloody ridiculous. Who keeps pancake batter up that high?" Geo asked nobody in particular. Shaking her head, she reached up as high as she could, standing on her toes as she tried her hardest to get the batter out from its little hiding spot.

With a small hop, she managed to grab the container. From the top of the wooden chair, she then jumped down to the cold tiled floor. She didn't feel the cold, though. She was too busy with her little happy dance.

"Haha! Once again, humans come out on top over inanimate objects!" Geo cried triumphantly, thrusting the container into the air in what she had now designated her success stance.

"Alright! Let's start cooking stuff!" Geo exclaimed, and with that, walked over to the stove, turned on the gas, placed the frying pan on the flame, and got to work.

///

Meanwhile, at Sweet Apple Acres...

The human and farm pony had only just gotten over the fact that Rainbow Dash was out of the hospital. Applejack was overjoyed. Her friend was alright, and able to fly superbly once again. The farm pony couldn't be happier.

Christian, on the other hand, wasn't so happy.

That confounded cyan thug has returned! This will change my plans somewhat...

The two were standing next to each other, looking up into the skies above, where the Sonic Rainboom had taken place not moments ago. Applejack was imagining Rainbow Dash all healthy and joyful that she can fly. Christian was not daydreaming, he was scheming.

For this challenge, I will have to knock down more apples from the trees in this section of the orchard than 'southern beauty' over there. Easy enough.

"Pony?"

"Huh? Oh, uh, yeah." The orange mare said, snapping out of her trance. "Alright, so, when this part o' th' orchard has been harvested completely, then we stop an' compare how many apples we bucked down."

"I am aware of the wager, pony." Christian snapped. "Are there any rules I should be aware of?"

Applejack hadn't really though that far ahead. "Uh, okay. Rule number one, the apples ya buck down have t' be ripe. If they ain't, they don' count."

Applejack thought a little more. "Rule number two...ya'll have t' use th' apples ya kicked down on yer first kick. Ya can't kick th' same tree twice. Rule number three, if Ah've kicked a tree, ya'll can't kick it, an' vice versa."

She though a little more. "That's it, really. Nothin' more to it."

Christian shrugged. "Indeed. Do we have a starting position? Do we have a referee? What?"

"Ah can go get Apple Bloom t' watch us," Applejack replied, "an' th' start can be right here."

Christian pinched the bridge of his nose. "You did not put any thought into this, did you?"

"Hey, it was yer idea!"

"Fetch your sister, pony. Then, we will see who is the best."

"Yer on!" The farm pony cried, turning and galloping towards the farmhouse, giving Christian the solitude he was so desperately hoping for.

Excellent. She is gone, and now my plans can get underway.

Christian leaned against a nearby tree, and began to plan.

The rules of the wager are based around the objective, and less around contestant safety. Not once did Applejack mention that it was illegal to cause harm to another pony. If she complains that it was unfair, then I will simply remind her that she never explicitly stated I was not allowed.

However, what objects should I buy? I already know how I will exact vengeance on Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack and Fluttershy, but Twilight Sparkle will be a little harder to deal with. Then there is the matter of the princesses to deal with.

For Pinkie Pie, I will need a tube of lipstick and some perfume. For Rainbow Dash, I just need some alcohol, and a distraction. For Fluttershy, I will need some of Applejack's apples, and a pot of water. For Rarity, I will need some gems, and Spike. For Applejack, I will have all I need for her after all of the items have been purchased.

But how to deal with that accursed lavender unicorn?

Nothing. Not a single idea came up that was devious enough.

He thought about burning the library, but that had a chance of killing her, and others, and was just too brutish for him. He thought of forging a letter to Celestia, insulting her or something similar, but quickly withdrew the thought when he remembered he would need Spike to send it. He even thought of finding some sort of journal or diary, and just revealing its contents to the world, but that would require Twilight to have a diary, and that was not a certainty.

Christian was at a loss.

How can I take her down a couple of notches?

Christian sighed heavily, giving up for the moment. I will come up with something. In the meantime, I have a wager to win.

Of course, he had to wait for Applejack to return, a prospect that he did not find very appealing. So, putting his powerful memory to use, the cruel human decided to just watch a movie. Thinking about his choices, he settled for 'The Nightmare Before Christmas', slid to the foot of the tree, and just began to watch. Granted, the barn was not very far away, so Applejack had returned with her younger sister before the 'movie' even reached the end of the first song.

When the two ponies, one yellow and one orange, arrived back at the tree they had left their human charge at, they found him slumped against the bottom of the trunk, eyes closed, a small smile on his face as he hummed a tune they were not familiar with. He seemed totally disconnected from the world around him, just sitting and humming, not a care in the world.

Applejack knew him better than that, however.

"C'mon, ya lazy ape! Ah went an' got a referee, so let's get this goin'," the blonde-maned mare said, nudging the human on the shoulder. While she was in such close proximity with him, however, she managed to smell exactly how long he hadn't washed for.

She reeled back, a hoof covering her nose. "Good gravy, ya'll stink!" she cried, causing a giggle from Apple Bloom.

Christian had just been taken from his little movie-memory-world, and that annoyed him enough. But being told he stank did not make him feel any better.

He shook his head. I cannot and will not allow the petty insults of these equine imbeciles get to me.

Rising to his feet, the Apple girls in front of him had another chance to bask in just how tall the human was before he spoke to them.

"Oh. You have returned." he said simply.

"Really? Ah hadn't noticed." Applejack remarked, before beckoning the human towards them with a hoof. "Alright, we gonna get this done with? Ah'd like t' put ya in yer place as soon as Ah can."

He said nothing, walking over to the ponies with his face scrunched up in annoyance. He had really wanted to watch that film.

"Now Apple Bloom," the orange mare addressed her younger sibling, "Ah want ya'll t' watch th' both o' us closely. Make sure he don't cheat."

"Alright, Ah can do that!" the little filly said proudly. "Ya can count on me, big sis!"

Applejack gave a small smile. "Atta girl."

Christian heard what the two of them were talking about. To be honest, he had been planning on cheating. More specifically he was going to kick Applejack in the side of the legs at the starting line, making sure she fell, and ensuring himself a head start. However, as he thought further into it, he realised something.

It would make her feel much, much worse if I am able to defeat her at her own game fairly. If I beat her out of skill alone, then I can lord it over her. She will never live it down!

Christian was smirking now. Playing fair to win. That is something I have not done for a while.

He was lost so deep in thought that he hadn't noticed the others still talking.

"Apple Bloom, Ah also need ya t' be honest." Applejack declared. "If Christian does win somehow, ya'll don't go ahead an' make me th' winner anyway."

"But sis-" the small yellow pony began, but her older sister cut her off.

"If he wins, he wins. Be honest with me, sugarcube."

Apple Bloom nodded, determined to be as honest as she could. Applejack couldn't have been prouder.

"Now then, are th' baskets all set up?" the orange mare inquired. Her sister nodded the affirmative, prompting Christian to question when they had found the time to do that. His question was promptly ignored.

"Alrighty then! Let's do this!" the farm pony cried, trotting to an area she had designated as the finish line. Christian followed suit, the ever-watching eye of Apple Bloom following him, making sure he didn't do anything he'd regret.

Applejack began to stretch her legs, getting ready for the running she was about to do. Christian, on the other hand, just began singing a song under his breath. As she warmed up, she listened in to what he was singing.

"Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pale of water,
Jack fell down, and broke his crown,
And Jill sued for damages."

He gave out a slight chuckle when he finished.

Apple Bloom was elated at aniother chance to earn her cutie mark, although a little disappointed to be doing it without her fellow members of the CMC. "CUTIE MARK CRUSADER REFEREE! YAY!" She shouted excitedly while she jumped in the air, leaving Christian asking what she was on about. Applejack just waved it off.

"Ya ready t' see who's th' better apple bucker, boy?" Applejack asked, looking over at her competetor.

She got a "Yes. Very much so," in response.

"Alright, on yer marks!" The yellow filly cried. Her sister stopped her warm ups, and got down into the customary 'racing position' that she did at the beginning of running races. Christian did something similar, bending his long legs slightly.

"Get set!" Apple Bloom called, her voice having increased in pitch. She was excited, and couldn't wait for Applejack to show Christian who was boss!

Christian saw the filly inhale, getting ready to shout 'go'. He took the chance. He quickly leaned down to Applejack's ear, and whispered, "Rainbow Dash loves Fluttershy."

It wasn't cheating, it was friendly conversation, he reasoned with himself.

The orange mare only had time for a loud "What?" before her younger sister officially began their little wager.

"GO!" Apple Bloom cried. Christian, aware of what he had done, bolted forward towards the nearest tree. Not only had he gained a head start, but he also had very long legs, causing him to cover more distance.

Applejack was still at the starting line, thinking about what she had just heard. Rainbow...loves Fluttershy? No, that ain't true, Christian's tryin' t' trick me! Well Ah won't let 'im!

"Sis? I said GO!" Apple Bloom shouted, snapping her sister out of her trance. She noticed Christian was a fair bit ahead of her, and had already kicked a few trees, sending the apples careening into the baskets below.

Oh, horseapples, he already did.

She ran as fast as she could towards the nearest tree, bucking it with all her might, and then galloped to the next one, not stopping to check if any apples even fallen from her first buck.

She kept bucking every tree with ripe apples she could see, never stopping to see if a particular tree had dropped its bounty. Christian, however, had as much time as he needed, jump-kicking the trees from side on, so when he kicked the tree, he would bounce of towards whichever tree he wished to kick next. This was a much more effective method than stopping, turning around and kicking a tree full force. He also had time to check if apples fell. To his devilish glee, they did almost every time.

Apple Bloom was following the two, trying to make out if either of them were cheating, as well as their overall progress. She wasn't happy with the current results. Applejack had bucked 20 trees so far, and was beginning to tire. She had never needed to buck trees this fast before, and the strain was taking its toll. The baskets under the trees she had bucked were full of big, red apples, none of which were unripe. Christian's baskets were pretty much the same, though his method of kicking was more efficient, and he was always at least two trees worth of fruit in front of the orange mare.

Christian looked like he could keep going for days. Either that, or he was very good at hiding his discomfort.

Apple Bloom wanted to help, but she wasn't allowed. So, she did the next best thing (at least, in her eyes). She began to cheer.

"C'mon, Applejack! Ya'll can beat that big ol' meanie! Ah know ya can!" she cheered, hoping her words would have some sort of effect on her sister.

The orange mare had needed that encouragement. Springing to her hooves as if the ground was made of hot iron, Applejack continued on, trying her hardest to keep going, her sister's words inspiring her.

Christian heard the cheering, and was glad (or as glad as was actually possible for him) that no one was cheering for him. It is little more than a distraction. Listening to the high pitched voice of Apple Bloom was not at all pleasant either. Granted, it did not distract him from his goal, but it was highly irritating.

Ugh, her voice is like an armada of tiny, angry road workers with jackhammers on my eardrums.

By Apple Blooms count, there weren't many trees left to buck. Applejack had fallen far behind in her apple quota, compared to Christian, who had far, far more. Th exact number didn't matter, only that it was higher than her sisters.

Applejack was going to lose, and there was nothing she could do about it, no matter how hard or loud her sister cheered.

That was how it was for the next few minutes, until the small section of Sweet Apple Acres that they had been competing in had run out of ripe apples to buck down.

Final score:

Applejack with 58 trees bucked, Christian with 65. The human had won.

The worst part was, he didn't even look tired.

"That was more fun than I had been expecting," Christian remarked, smirking. "I had never pictured physical labor as entertaining. Perhaps it was the added bonus of defeating you, pony."

Applejack was crestfallen. She had been bested by somepony who had not only never bucked trees before in his life, but was arrogant enough to say he could beat her after bucking a single tree. What made it worse was that he had actually done it.

"Ya'll cheated!" Applejack cried, pointing a hoof at the human. "Ya'll tried to distract me by lyin' 'bout Rainbow 'n' Fluttershy. That ain't fair!"

"If you will recall, pony, not once was it mentioned in the rules that I could not talk to you during the wager. I was simply making friendly conversation." Christian retorted.

"Ah ain't partial t' lyin' cheats."

"I did not cheat, and I did not lie."

"Ya did too cheat! Ah was there! Ya'll-" Applejack suddenly stopped. "Hold on, ya didn't lie?"

"No. For what purpose would I have to lie?" Christian inquired.

The orange mare snorted. "T' get me t' lose th' bet."

He smirked. "Oh yes, there is that."

"Admit it, ya cheater!"

"I will admit to no such thing! Veni, vidi, vici!"

"What in th' hay does that mean?"

"it means 'I came, I saw, I conquered'. I did not cheat. I defeated you at your own game fairly."

"QUIET!" Apple Bloom squealed at the top of her lungs, which was more effective than any whistle. Christian immediately covered his ears and let out a groan. Applejack, however, was used to it, though she did flinch slightly.

"Sis, ya told me t' be honest, and Ah will be." the yellow filly explained. This brought a smile to her sisters face, until Apple Bloom continued. "Ah didn't see 'im do nothin' bad. Ah didn't hear 'im whisper nothin' to ya. He won, fair 'n' square."

"But...but..." Applejack sputtered, unable to get a word out.

"I told you, I did not cheat." He flashed his teeth. "Or do you not trust your sisters judgement?"

Giving the human a spiteful glare, Applejack did not respond. Technically, he didn't cheat. He just said a few words before the start, and those few words were enough to give her pause. He didn't kick her or anything.

She sighed, hating that she was wrong. "Alright, fine. Ya beat me then. Well done." Applejack said half-heartedly.

Christian just smiled. Not is usual arrogant smirk, but what seemed to be a genuine grin. "Go and recover your purse, or whatever you use to transport your currency." He turned towards the barn, and began to walk off, clapping his hands together in excitement. "Now, we get to go shopping."

His plan was coming into fruition.

He left the Apple girls standing out in the orchard, all by themselves. The two of them had honestly expected more bragging, further psychological torment, but apparently winning was enough for him. Either that, or he was buttering them up for something...

Applejack sighed heavily. She didn't understand. How had he done it? He was so much faster, he had a better method, and all that after kicking a single tree.

She felt a hoof on her side. She looked over to see Apple Bloom patting her, trying to comfort her. She wasn't tall enough to reach her older sisters shoulder, so this was the best she could do.

"S'alright, sis," she Apple Bloom said calmingly, a comforting smile on her face, "ya did yer best. That counts fer somethin', right?"

"Yeah, I guess." the orange mare sighed once again. It just...didn't feel right. She'd been doing this her whole life, and yet, she was beaten by some cruel creature from another dimension without him having any prior knowledge on the matter.

The two walked back towards the barn in silence.

This was the next step in the large chain of events centred around the two strangest creatures in all of Equestria, now unofficial guests, Christian and Georgina.

Sorry, Geo.

///

Author notes: This felt...rushed, somehow. I wanted to put further detail into the wager itself, but i didn't really know how. I also noticed that this chapter is slightly shorter than usual.

Well, that settles it. I am going to get myself a proofreader. Not just for grammatical and spelling errors and small plot holes, but to improve my writing in general. There will probably be another two chapters before that happens, though.

Also, remember that the "Christian and Geo" questions system is still up and running. Ask them anything. It doesn't even have to be story related. Ask them their favourite food, pastimes, and the like. Ask them the meaning of life, or what love truly is, or similar questions, just for the hell of it.

Next chapter, Applejack and Christian go into town and buy some seemingly inconspicuous item, while the other ponies decide to meet for lunch, and discuss exactly what's going to happen next.

Final Message

Hey, everypony. I have some bad news.

As much as I hate myself for this, Christian and Geo in Equestria will officially be cancelled as of 3:00 pm AUS standard time today. So, now, really.

I want to keep going, but...I don't feel the same spark that I did when I first began. Imagine if I kept going now. Christian would be half the character he used to be, Geo would be completely innacurate, the ponies would become completely predictable, and the entire story would turn stale very quickly, and that is the last thing I want to see. Everything would just be hollow.

It's better that it dies like this, quickly and mercifully, rather than being dragged along painfully.

Though, I would like to thank everyone who favourited this fic along the way, even as it came to an end.

A.Proxy
Adamanthys
Agrith
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Alaborn
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A special thanks to a few certain people:

Shadow Scryer, for analyzing everything Christian did, and then proceeding to comment on his intense, borderline sociopathic douchebaggery. Your comments were quite entertaining, and for that I thank you.

Jiropracter, for defending me (unnecessarily, but still) after Medicshy_ reviewed this fic. It was great to see people so dedicated that they would actually argue to defend this fic, and myself in the process. Thank you very much.

machezan, for the 'staches.

Wockstar, for his...amusing comments about the TF2 Spy class. Funny, I'm more of a Pyro, so we should be mortal enemies. Funny, that.

DavidPony, for being the first person to figure out the hidden message I left behind in a certain chapter, and for saying that this is the best HiE fic on this site. I sincerely disagree, but the sentiments are much appreciated.

Frost, for arguing with Christian using faux-logic. It was quite entertaining.

Azzazel, for being awesomely evil, and understanding the references I made throughout the fic.

Bacon[Hazard], for apparently vomiting everywhere after Christian's past was revealed.

Scorcher, for apparently crying after Christian's past was revealed.

AnonymousCoward, for summing up how I feel about my generation as a whole.

Medicshy, for reviewing this fic, and then inspiring me to join him in reviewing pony fiction. You, sir, are a good friend.

Zephyr, for the Boromir picture that caused tremendous amounts of laughter.

Thorgar595, for being the only reader I've met IRL, who supported me long before I began writing.

demonoid47, for the amusing Inception reference.

TheArchive, for his in-depth comments that basically summed up as giant middle fingers to Christian.

Saxon, for having the highest amount of comments across the duration of the fic, and many amusing points of view.

stalins organ, for placing those very informative quotesin response to Geo's dislike of her own species.

Well, that's everypony.

And now, I bid you adeu, with three things to note.

This is the link to the site in which I do my reviews. They usually appear weekly. I'm not the only one, though. Medicshy, AxeOfChaos and DarcySupremest also review here as well. Take a gander, and follow us. Imagine my reviews as if it's not me doing the reviewing, but rather Christian himself. I keep him alive that way.

http://www.supremestfanfictionreviews.blogspot.com.au/

I have another fic, 'Brains!'. It's good, and has very little views. You wouldn't mind fixing that, would you? For Christian and Geo?
I asked Geo, one of my best friends in real life, to go out with me. She said yes. My first date. Funny how that works. When God closes a door...

Well, this is the end, I suppose. I hope you enjoyed what became of Christian and Geo in Equestria.

Sincerely,
ChrisTheCat

Twilight's Experiment

It was another normal day in the quiet Equestrian town of Ponyville. The citizens went about their daily business, knowing that today was scheduled to be a sunny day. The sky was a perfect blue, the grass was a vibrant green, and ponies of all different colours flooded the streets, going from market stall to market stall, buying the necessities for living in a small, quiet town. Everypony was happy and content with their life on that day. Well, everypony but one.

The one pony in distress was Princess Celestia’s top student, Twilight Sparkle. Inside the Ponyville library, Twilight was performing an experiment issued by the princess herself, and she needed several rare ingredients, one of which being a very rare, very precious and very important gem known as a Red Diamond. Twilight had all of the necessary ingredients, the Poison Joke seeds mixed with water, the hollow Manticore claw, and the Red Diamond, all of which had taken a long time to gather up, but that was not what had her in distress.

What had angered her was that about half of the Red Diamond was in Spike’s stomach.

“Spike!” Twilight Sparkle shouted at her assistant. She was glaring directly at the baby dragon, who was trying to hide what he just did behind his back, to no avail. Twilight was glaring daggers at him. She had needed that gem for an important experiment, and Spike had gone and taken a large bite out of it.

“Uh, hey Twilight. I, uh…” stammered the tiny dragon. Spike had been caught red-hoofed, and he knew it. It took all of three seconds for the baby dragon to decide his plan of action: run. Run fast, and run far. Before he could follow up on his master plan however, Twilight placed her front left hoof on his tail to stop him going anywhere.

“And just where do you think you’re going, Spike?” Twilight asked him in a dangerous tone. Spike stared into her purple eyes and gulped. Spike stammered some more, unable to come up with anything, until at the last second, an idea shot through his brain.

“I was, uh…going to go see Rarity. Yeah, that’s it. I was going to go to Rarity, and see if I could replace the, uh, Red Diamond. I wasn’t going to run away.” Spike quickly spat out, his green eyes shifting side to side. Unfortunately for the baby dragon, Twilight was not an idiot.

“Spike, I needed that gem for an important experiment. Why did you eat it?” Before Spike could answer, she covered his mouth with the hoof that was holding his tail. “Don’t answer that, I know why.”

“I mean, really Spike, how could you betray my trust like that? You’re normally such a good dragon, and I hate to see-”

“Twilight.”

“-you doing things like this! Do you like hurting my feelings, Spike? Because if you do, I may as well-”

“Twilight!”

“-make you leave! I really needed that gem for the experiment, Spike! The princess will be so mad-”

“TWILIGHT!”

The sudden shout from Spike caused Twilight to go silent for a few seconds, which was enough to hear a few knocks on the door. Twilight looked at Spike with a mixture of disappointment and anger. “We’ll talk about this later.” Twilight then opened the door to see Rarity standing in front of her. Twilight’s mood immediately brightened. It was always nice to see one of her friends and fellow elements.

“Oh, Twilight, I do hope I didn’t come at a bad time, perhaps later-” Rarity began, until she was cut off by Spike.

“Oh, no Rarity, you’re welcome here anytime. Come on in!” Spike shoved Twilight out of the way, much to her chagrin, to make way for Ponyville’s seamstress, on which he had an enormous crush. He thinks it a secret, but everyone knows, even Rarity. Twilight could practically see the love hearts floating around him.

“Oh, thank you, Spikey-wikey!” Rarity said in a baby voice, which would be irritating to anyone but Spike, because not only is it Rarity who says that, but he is in fact, a baby. The white unicorn gave Spike a little pat on the head, and he was putty in her hoofs.

“Now Twilight,” Rarity addressed the lavender unicorn, walking right past Spike, “I came here today because I have the most spectacular idea for a dress, and no one else has the time to model it for me! I need to see how it would look on somepony, and you seem to be the only one available.” Rarity explained her predicament to Twilight, who was still rather annoyed at the recent loss of the Red Diamond.

Suddenly, Twilight had an idea of her own. She looked at Rarity, and decided to see if she could make a deal.

“Alright, Rarity. I’ll model the dress.” Just as Rarity was about to squeal in delight, Twilight cut her off. “But only if you help me find a Red Diamond later on. It is imperative to my experiment, and it took me forever to find one, so it might take a while, but I really need it.”

Rarity just looked at her bookworm friend oddly. “Twilight, why didn’t you just come to me in the first place? I have about five Red Diamonds. I usually use them on the really expensive dresses, but I’ll gladly give you one.” Rarity explained. Twilight just stood there, staring at Rarity, but not really looking at her. The white unicorn began to feel slightly uncomfortable.

“So…I spent almost four days looking for one out in Diamond Dog territory with Spike…when I could have just come to you?” Twilight said quietly. It was a dangerous kind of quiet, not the kind you really want to hear from anyone. As in ‘calm before the storm’ quiet. Twilight’s face slowly began turning red, and Rarity swore she could hear a teapot whistling somewhere. Twilight honestly looked like she was going to explode.

Rarity began to slowly back away. “Um, Twilight, dear, we should probably go get that gem you want, right?” she said, with a large cheesy grin afterwards. This seemed to help somewhat, as Twilight let out a ragged sigh, and though still obviously angry, followed Rarity out the door with a “Yeah, sure” spoken through gritted teeth. Before the door closed, Spike went to wave goodbye, when Twilight turned to look at him. Spike pretty much froze in fear.

As the two unicorns walked off towards Carousel Boutique to collect one of Rarity’s Red Diamonds, another pony approached them and asked something that Spike couldn’t hear. He saw they shook their heads “no”, and walked off. Spike noticed the pony in question was Fluttershy. The canary yellow pegasus looked like she was about to cry. Well, she looks like that most of the time, Spike thought to himself, but decided to go see what was wrong anyway.

“Hey, Fluttershy, you don’t look so good. What happened?” Spike asked her. In most situations, the shy pegasus would have spoken very quietly, but at the moment she was in distress, and spoke to Spike in a panicked manner.

“Oh Spike, it’s awful! Angel Bunny ran into the Everfree Forest! I’m afraid he might be hurt!” Fluttershy cried to Spike, before bursting into tears and falling into the little dragon’s arms.

Spike stood there for a few seconds, holding the crying pony and patting her on the pack, and then asked “Then why didn’t you go after him?”

Fluttershy stopped crying for a second and looked at Spike. “But…it’s the Everfree Forest…I don’t want to go there on my own…” Fluttershy whimpered in the most adorable way. She looked at Spike with her bright blue eyes, already wet with tears. “I can’t go out there, I’m too scared, and everyone else is too busy to help…but Angel Bunny could be hurt…oh, I thought that assertiveness class would help me…” and right after she finished that sentence, Fluttershy went right back to crying, though not as hard.

Spike had to think for a bit, but eventually came to a decision. “Well, Twilight doesn’t want me around for the moment anyway, so…” “Fluttershy, I could go with you if you want?” Spike offered with a forced smile.

Fluttershy stopped crying immediately. “Oh, thank you, Spike! I can’t thank you enough! We should get going right away!” Fluttershy said to Spike. After a second or two, she added, “If that’s alright with you…”

Spike rolled his eyes. “Yes, I’ll go, let me just go back to the library and leave a note.” And so, after leaving the aforementioned note, they headed out towards Fluttershy’s cottage, where the forest meets the Ponyville border.

///

About an hour later, after Twilight modeled for Rarity, the two girls had just picked up one of the Red Diamonds, and were heading back to the library. As they were doing so, Rarity was still confused as to what the experiment entailed.

“Twilight, tell me again what this experiment entails?” Rarity asked.

Twilight beamed, and began her explanation. “Well Rarity, what I am going to do is open a temporary inter-dimensional rift to a random location. If it works, this rift will gives us a few items from the other dimension. If not…” Twilight looked a little annoyed, “Then gathering all of those things will have been a waste.”

“Why does the princess want things from other dimensions?” Rarity asked, again confused. Twilight simply shook her head.

"I’m not sure, but I just assumed she wants confirmation that life exists in other dimensions.” Twilight scratched her head. “I think.”

When they arrived back at the library, they found that Spike was nowhere to be seen. The two called and searched for a few minutes, but he wasn’t there. “He probably went out for a while. Ugh, Celestia knows I need a break from him, anyway.” It was then that Twilight noticed the note that Spike had left. She used her magic to lift the piece of parchment.

Dear Twilight,
Angel Bunny is lost somewhere in the Everfree Forest. I went with Fluttershy to go find him. Don’t worry, we’ll both be fine.
Spike

Twilight sighed to herself. She turned to Rarity, “Rarity, would you like to stay and see the results? I mean, this could be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!” The lavender unicorn was excited that the experiment could finally get done, and she could receive her approval from the Princess.

Rarity smiled and said “Well of course, Twilight. After all, it is a ‘once-in-a-lifetime opportunity’, as you said. So, what exactly do we need to do?”

Twilight quickly told her to head outside, behind the library, and to wait for her while she gathered the ingredients that she left around. Rarity complied, leaving Twilight to search. She had the Red Diamond on her at the moment, and she only had to look for a short while before the hollow Manticore claw was found, and the vial of Poison Joke water soon after. Smiling, Twilight finally set out to meet the white unicorn behind her residence.

“Alright Rarity,” Twilight motioned to the Red Diamond “I need you to levitate that in place while I make a hole with the claw.”

Rarity stared for a few seconds. “Um, Twilight dear, this is a diamond, yes?” Twilight nodded. “Diamonds are very solid, yes?” Twilight nodded again, sure of where this was heading. “So, how are you going to make a hole?” Rarity asked finally, somewhat sceptical about what was going to happen.

“Well Rarity, just levitate the diamond and I’ll show you.” Twilight stated. Rarity, still unsure as to how this would work, just shrugged and worked her magic.

Rarity’s horn began to glow a soft blue colour, and the diamond was enveloped in a blue field, and began to rise until it was at level with Twilights face. “Good Rarity. Now, please hold still.” Twilight then used her own magic, of a light purple hue, to lift up the Manticore claw. She placed the tip against the top of the diamond, and began to twist the claw back and forward, as if she was trying to start a fire. Not long after, there was a small hole in the diamond, much to Rarity’s shock.

“Alright Rarity, just hold still a little longer…” Twilight said, as she then used some more magic to life up the vial of Poison Joke water. She carefully poured it into the tip of the claw, which acted as a funnel for the water to enter the diamond. The blue water quickly filled the gem, which until now Rarity had not realised was mostly hollow. Finally, it was done. The Red Diamond with a glowing blue liquid inside. Rarity could not help but notice how…beautiful it was.

“Alright! Good work, Rarity. Now, I’m going to flood this gem with a particular spell. This will cause the gem to explode, and open a portal for a few seconds. We will then take the items for study!” Twilight bounced up and down. “Isn’t this exciting?” Rarity smiled uncomfortably. Yes, the prospect of new, never before seen items was exciting. Just not as exciting as the ecstatic lavender unicorn was making it out to be.

“Alright, let’s get started…” Twilight shuffled her hooves slightly, getting ready. “Rarity, you may want to stand back. I don’t want a shard of the diamond to hit you.”

The white unicorn looked horrified. “Oh, goodness, then I’d bleed! Red does not go with my mane!” But Twilight was already focused on the diamond.

She closed her eyes, focusing all of her power into the diamond. The gem began to vibrate and let off a low humming sound. It began to shake harder and harder, and became far louder, increasing in pitch as well. Cracks began to appear on the surface of the gem. Then, as it was about to reach its peak and explode, allowing Twilight and Rarity to be the first to see items from a different dimension…something happened.

Or rather, Pinkie Pie happened.

Just as Twilight was pumping the last of her power into the gem, a certain pink earth pony did what she did best, and appeared out of nowhere in front of Twilight.

“Hiya Twilight! What-“

“AHHH!”

Twilight would never get used to Pinkie Pie randomly showing up at any given moment, but now was especially bad, seeing as in surprise, Twilight cast another spell as a reflex. A teleportation spell. Nopony disappeared however. The diamond did.

The three ponies stood there in silence as Twilight contemplated what had just happened. Slowly, anger began to work its way into her features, and she turned towards Pinkie, glaring at her with murder in her eyes.

“Pinkie! Do you have any idea what you’ve done?” Twilight shouted at her friend. Pinkie sat there, smiling dumbly.

“Nope, not a clue. Why do you ask?” Pinkie replied, staring at Twilight with a face of pure innocence. At this, Twilight exploded.

“I spent so long gathering the ingredients for this experiment, and you ruined it! I had a Manticore claw, which I had to hollow out myself, which took forever. You do not want to know what I had to do to obtain a claw. Then, I had to go get some Poison Joke seeds. My horn went floppy for a little while after that, as well. I had to go see Zecora for a remedy! Then, I had to trek out into Diamond dog territory to go and get a Red Diamond, and that took forever as well. Spike ended up eating it, and I had to find another one! Then, after all of that effort, you show up and scare the life out of me, and I teleport the ingredients to an unknown location! So, Pinkie, do you want to know what you’ve done? What you’ve done is-”

BOOM!

Twilight’s rant was interrupted by a large red flash from the Everfree Forest. The shockwave from what they could only assume to be an explosion flew past not long after, causing everypony to take a step backward. When it was over, the three stood in silence once more, while the rest of the town went into a commotion behind them.

“What you’ve done is saved everyone, Pinkie.” Twilight stated incredulously. She couldn’t believe it. Neither could Rarity. The two where in shock as to how large the explosion was. They were certainly not expecting that! Thank Celestia nopony was nearby, or things could have gotten bad.

It was then that Twilight remembered Spike’s note.

“SPIKE! FLUTTERSHY! OH NO!”

///

Not long beforehand, in a different dimension…

“Dammit! Dammit, dammit, dammit! And damn you!”

Geo was not happy. She was not the kind of person to take losing lightly, especially when the person she just lost to showed no reaction. As much as she loved playing video games, she could never beat her friend and roommate, Christian.

“It seems I win again, Georgina. You should practice more. Maybe then you might have a chance at success.”

Geo looked over to her left at her counterpart sitting on the couch next to her, controller in hand, slight smirk on his face, piercing blue eyes focused squarely on her. Smug bloody bastard.

The pudgy girl rose to her feet, and looked down at her gaunt roommate. “I challenge you to a rematch, Chris!” Geo announced, using the nickname he hated, hoping for a reaction.

Christian simply shrugged in reply. “As you wish, Georgina. I will just defeat you again.” In return, he used her full name, something she despised, causing her to grit her teeth further. This show of anger brought a smile to Christian’s face.

"I told you, don't call me Georgina! I hate that!" Geo yelled at her roommate.

Christian did not look amused. "Then do not call me Chris! That is an indication that my name is Christopher, which it certainly is not." Christian replied. His expression then returned to the smug smirk he had earlier.

“Are you sure you will not need more practice? I could allow some time between the matches…” Christian suggested, knowing she would be too proud to accept. He was proven right when Geo glared at him, grabbed her controller, and sat down. “Once more, Geo. Are you sure you do not require further practice? Practice does make perfect.” Again, he smirked, knowing exactly what was coming next.

“Yeah, but if practice makes perfect, and perfection is, as you put it, ‘universally impossible’, then…” Geo started, and the odd duo said the next part together:

“Why practice?”

Geo glared at Christian once again. “God, you suck! Why can’t you let me win for once? I mean, you always do nice things for women!” Geo cried, frustrated.

Christian simply pulled off another one of his trademark smirks and replied “Yes, I will be the first to admit that I treat women a little too well sometimes. However, I do not classify you as a woman.”

This ended with Geo punching Christian in the arm.

“So, make yourself useful. I defeated you, and we both know what that means.” Christian smirked once again. Geo sighed. “Fine. I’ll go get your damn Pepsi.” She walked towards the kitchen, “Next time, whether you win or not, I’m not getting you another one of these stupid drinks! I mean, how can you even drink this stuff anyway? Drink Coke like someone who doesn’t suck!”

Christian stood up to defend himself. “For your information, from a taste standpoint, Pepsi is far superior to Coca-Cola. It does not taste as sweet as Coke or leave that strange sugary film on your teeth, and it finishes crisp and clean without an aftertaste.”

The two continued to bicker, eventually drinking their cola choices and competing once again (Christian won, much to the chagrin of his female roommate) before it happened.

When it happened, the two were in the middle of another heated discussion.

“How couldn’t you cry? It was such a sad moment!”

“No it was not. The dog had simply died at the end of the movie. There was no reason to be sad.”

“Dogs are people too!”

“You have a warped definition of the word ‘people’. A creature with a conscience is not a person. Besides, it was just a dog.”

“Well, yeah, I suppose…but still, you’re a man. Aren’t men supposed to be attached to man’s best friend?”

“…”

“Yeah, a man’s best friend is a dog. A girl’s best friend is a diamond. I can see who the smarter sex is.”

“Indeed. The ‘best friend’ of a female is a chunk of super-heated carbon. The ‘best friend’ of a male is a creature capable of aiding in hunting, gathering and is a decent companion. Yes, I can see who the smarter sex is.”

“Dammit Christian, what the hell is your pro-”

BOOM!

It was at that moment that a bright red portal opened up in the room, quickly sucking several things inside of it, including the television, couch, coffee table and fridge. Christian was sitting close to where it opened, and was sucked in almost immediately. He didn’t even have time to make a sound. Geo, however, had a short amount of time to try and grab something, and scream at the top of her lungs as she was sucked in as well. And, almost as soon as it had opened, the portal closed, leaving no trace that it had been there.

Besides the ruined room, of course.

///

Back in the present time, in the outskirts of the Everfree Forest…

“Oh please Spike, hurry! We can’t waste any more time! Angel could be hurt with all of the nasty creatures out here!” Fluttershy yelled, or rather, her equivalent of yelling.

Spike and Fluttershy had been in the Everfree forest for just over an hour now, searching for Angel Bunny, with little success. Indeed, all they had found so far were some wild rabbits, a few birds, and even some timber-wolves. Besides the usual fauna and other scary elements of the forest, Angel was nowhere to be found.

In actuality, Angel had found his way out of the forest not that long ago, but Fluttershy didn’t know that. Nor did Angel know where Fluttershy was. Otherwise, he would have probably rushed to get her, because he knows how scared Fluttershy is of the Everfree Forest. He would also have nopony to feed him.

“Angel Bunny! Where are you?” Fluttershy called, again at her level of calling. Luckily Spike was there to at least make some real noise. The two called and searched, searched and called, but Angel just was not there, and they doubted Angel would delve too deep into the forest, on account of the many things living there that may not exactly see him as anything more than food.

“Angel!” Spike yelled, in a more frustrated tone. He could have been at home napping, or trying to impress Rarity some more. He wished he hadn’t agreed to this. Then again, this was Fluttershy, and if she couldn’t find Angel, she would never stop crying.

It may have been a good thing that the purple flash before the two distracted Spike from his less-than-friendly thoughts.

Fluttershy, being Fluttershy, squealed and hid behind Spike, trembling in fear as to what had appeared before them. Spike, being Spike, rolled his eyes. He had recognised the purple flash, and knew it was Twilights particular brand of magic. What appeared before them was not Twilight, however. It was a Red Diamond, filled with a glowing blue liquid. It was vibrating and letting off a high-pitched noise that was steadily increasing in pitch and volume.

“Relax, Fluttershy, it’s just one of Twilight’s experiments. No need to-” Spike began, before stopping himself. The little purple dragon thought back to when Twilight had told him about the experiment.

The Red Diamond will be filled with the Poison Joke water, and then the gem will be flooded with a special spell. Then, the gem will explode, opening a temporary portal to another dimension. From there, we will be able to study whatever items are sucked through, and hope that they prove life exists somewhere other than Equestria.

Then, the gem will explode, opening a temporary portal to another dimension.

The gem will explode.

EXPLODE?!

“Fluttershy! Run!”

But it was too late. Before they could take more than five steps…

BOOM!

The explosion had much more force and was far louder for the timid canary pegasus and the baby purple dragon on account of the proximity. The explosion flung Spike into a nearby bush. He was out like a light, but would be fine. But Fluttershy was blown into a tree, and hit the solid trunk head-first, and a shard of the gem from the explosion hit her in the fore-hoof, lodging itself inside.

The last thing she saw before she went out was a red patch in the air in front of her, and Spike calling her name.

This was the very first act that sent a chain of events into motion, which would change Ponyville forever…

And this change would come in the form of two strange creatures named Christian and Georgina.

Sorry, Geo.

A Win-Win Situation

Back in Room 233...

Rainbow was shocked. What she had just heard had literally shocked her into silence. She was supposed to be the tough one out of the group, yet she was just as emotionally jarred as they were when they first heard of Christian's life.

"Wow..." Rainbow finally managed to say. "That's...that's rough..."

"Yeah, no kiddin'," said Applejack, frowning.

"It still doesn't give him and excuse to just waltz into Ponyville and start trying to eat ponies, though!" Rainbow cried. She shook her head. "I don't care how badly he was treated, he hurt you guys, and I'll protect you, no matter what!"

"We appreciate that, Rainbow Dash. Thanks." Twilight said, reaching over and patting the hospitalised mare on the shoulder.

Rainbow did a quick scan of the room, and raised an eyebrow. "Uh, speaking of which, guys...where's Fluttershy and the Princess?"

"Well, they decided to stay back and see if they could get Christian to wake up," Rarity answered. This answer did not have favourable results.

"Are you kidding me? She's in there with him? He could hurt her! Let me at 'em!" Rainbow cried, trying to get out of the bed, only to be held down by her fellow Elements. "Let me go!" she yelled.

"Rainbow, The Princess can take care of herself and Fluttershy. There's no need to panic." Twilight said calmly, patting Rainbow on the shoulder again.

"Oh, right. The Princess..." Rainbow said, rubbing the back of her head in embarrassment. "Yeah...I forgot about her."

"Oh, you were worried about Fluttershy?" asked Pinkie. "Nah, she can take care of herself! She's all shy and everything, but when she needs to, she can be all, RARGH, and stuff." Pinkie bounced up and down. "And besides, Christian couldn't hurt hurt her if he wanted too! The Princess is there, and if he tries anything," Pinkie suddenly got very serious.

"She'll send him to the MOON!" She yelled at the top of her lungs, which is pretty loud, all things considered.

"Geez, Pinkie, I get it! Just," Rainbow rubbed her ears, "not so loud! My head still kinda hurts..."

"Oh, right." Pinkie giggled sheepishly. "Sorry, Dashie."

With that, a light knocking came from the door. "Um, hello? I'd like to come in! If that's, um, alright..." the voice was very, very quiet, and nopony would have heard it if there had not been silence in the room at the time.

Applejack chuckled lightly. "Gee, Ah wonder who that could possibly be."

"Oh, oh, is it The Princess? Or Geo?" Pinkie started excitedly. She gasped. "Maybe Gummy learned how to talk and knock on doors! Well, he could talk already, because i remember this one time he-"

"Pinkie, it's Fluttershy. Applejack was joking." Rainbow sighed. "You are so random..."

The orange farm mare trotted over and opened the door to see Fluttershy, earning an "Aw" from Pinkie, who really was hoping it to be Gummy. The canary pegasus trotted in slowly, hiding her face behind her mane.

"Fluttershy, are you okay? Did that human say anything to upset you?" Rainbow asked quickly. fluttershy seemed to be the only one who picked up on just how quickly. When you find out something about somepony, you really start noticing things about them you wouldn't normally...

"Oh, Rainbow! You're awake!" she cried, or rather, her equivalent of crying aloud, which was something akin to regular speech. She flew over and hugged her rainbow friend, a little tighter than she had intended.

"Flutter...shy...too tight..." Rainbow wheezed. The canary pegasus immediately let go.

"It's good to see you're alright..." Fluttershy said, blushing slightly.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I've been through worse." Rainbow shrugged, still as cocky as ever.

"I guess so..." Fluttershy whispered, mostly to herself. "So, did everypony tell you about...um..."

"Yeah, they did. I still don't think what he did was right, but I do kinda feel sorry for him." Rainbow looked around the room. "Just a bit." She smiled at Fluttershy. "I'm just glad he didn't try to eat you again. That's one of the reasons I beat the hay out of him."

Fluttershy blanched when she remembered what Christian had relayed to her earlier, but quickly calmed down. She would confront Rainbow about it later. Right now, she was just glad that her oldest friend was alright.

"Alright, everypony, now that everypony is awake and in the same room, I think we should talk about what to do with Christian and Geo." Twilight announced.

The Elements, Spike and Luna all formed a circle around the bed. Twilight noticed who was missing first.

"We need Princess Celestia for this. Can somepony...you know what? I'll do it." Twilight said. With that, she quickly left the room to go find the Princess.

Who was standing right outside, a letter levitating in front of her.

"Oh, hello Princess! That was...convenient." Twilight pointed out. She moved out of the way to let the princess of the Sun into the room, the letter vanishing in a puff of green smoke.

"Greeting, my little ponies," Celestia greeted, and then nodded at Luna. "Hello, sister."

Luna simply nodded, opting to keep quiet.

"Princess, I was just coming to get you, so we could discuss what to do with Christian and Geo." Twilight exclaimed, trying to wave her over to the circle around the bed, before realising that was not something you did to royalty. Celestia, however, thought nothing of it, and joined.

Now the circle was complete. Rainbow Dash in the bed, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and Rarity to her left, Applejack and Luna at the foot of the bed, Celestia, Twilight and Spike to her right. The Elements had assembled, along with both Princesses. It was time for thus meeting to get underway.

Though, if they were discussing the future of the humans...

"Twilight Sparkle, should we not bring the humans here? We are, after all, discussing their future." Luna observed, voicing Twilight's thoughts. Twilight sighed.

"Alright, I'll see if I can get the doctors to transfer Christian in here." Twilight frowned. "How will i be able to convince the doctors?"

Celestia chuckled lightly, a melody that warmed everypony in the room. "Tell them you have my authority. If that fails, then I will see them myself."

Everyone smiled, and Twilight nodded, pleased with the situation. "Alright then, everypony. I'll be back soon-"

"Actually, Twilight, before you go..." Celestia motioned for her to come back to the circle, which she did, not wanting to disobey her mentor. "I have already come up with a plan on what to do with them. I just need them here, and for them to agree to it."

Most of the rooms occupants looked slightly unsure about that, but agreed anyway. This was the Princess, after all. Thousands of years of experience, and all that.

"Well, what's the plan already?" Spike asked impatiently.

"I'm glad you asked, Spike. We will have a vote on it." Celestia grinned.

And then she told them the plan.

The room was silent for another time that day. Nopony could really believe what they had just heard.

"That's crazy! Why would he even agree to that?" Rainbow cried. "Hey, why would I agree to that? I say no way!"

"That there...is a mighty interestin' plan ya got there, Princess." Applejack said questioningly. "I hafta agree with RD on this one. I say no."

"Yay! I'd get the opportunity to throw a party! I say yes!" Pinkie shouted excitedly.

"Why on Equestria would we ever agree to that, Princess? It's...unfathomable! I say no!" Rarity said, appaled that such a suggestion would have ever been made.

"Um, well, I'm fine with it. If that's, um...no, you know what? I say yes!" cried Fluttershy with a sudden burst of confidence.

"I do see the drawbacks and possible dangers of such a plan, sister, but I also see the advantages. I say yes." Luna said with a smile.

"I'm not sure about this, Princess, but I trust your judgement. I say yes." Twilight said.

Spike just saw it as more work for him, but as he was about to complain, he received a stern glare from Twilight, which shut him up instantaneously. "I say yes."

Celestia smiled her warm and friendly smile. "Three not in favour, five in favour, not includiing myself. So, Elements, Luna, Spike, are we in agreement?"

One by one, everypony nodded, some less happy about it than others.

"Alright then, let us begin." Celestia announced. She looked at her prized student, who looked eager to get to work. "Twilight, please retrieve the necessary permissions to have Christian transferred to Room 233, please."

"Right away!" Twilight gave a little salute, and trotted out of the room. Celestia followed.

Luna was puzzled. "Sister, where are you going? What do we do?"

Celestia smiled, in a knowing way. "I am heading to Christian's room to talk to the humans. I want the rest of you to stay here." With that, Celestia left room 233, and began the walk to room 45.

The remaining ponies were at a loss as to what they should be doing.

"So, anypony got any ideas as t' what we're meant t' be doin'?" Applejack asked the room.

"Oh, oh, I know!" Pinkie cried suddenly, leaping up and down. She kept leaping, even after she had everypony's attention. "I know! I know! IknowIknowIknowIkno-"

"What, Pinkie?" cried almost everypony in usion. There was silence, and then the absurdity of what had just happened caused them all to burst into fits of laughter. Pinkie didn't know why they were laughing, but she did anyway.

"Whew...anyway, what do ya'll suggest, Pinkie?" Applejack asked.

Pinkie grinned very widely. "Let's play Truth or Dare!"

An exasperated groan filled room 233, that everypony could hear, right through the hospital.

///

Meanwhile, just outside room 45...

The Princess had arrived. It had not taken her long, as everypony in the hallways had moved out of her way. Using her golden magic, she turned the knob and entered the room.

Christian and Geo were having another debate.

"You are a...lunatic!"

"Yeah? Well you're a loser!"

"You are maniacal."

"You're mean!"

"You are a necrophiliac!"

"Oh come on, Christian! He was asleep, not dead."

"I suppose...when we get back home, you need to soundproof your room. Or stop dating. Whichever one has less risk of infecting me with some sort of venereal disease."

"I'm gonna ignore that comment. What are we up to?"

"N."

"Um...you're a noob!"

"Really? Try this one, miss Sensitive-About-Her-Age: You are old."

"You're an ass!"

"That begins with 'A' not 'O'."

Celestia cleared her throat. "Am I interrupting?"

The two humans focused on the large regal alicorn standing in the doorway. Geo was the first to respond. "Oh, no, Your Highness. We were just..." she looked back at Christian, "chatting."

Celestia looked over at Christian as well, to notice something alarming. The tubes that were connected to his wrists here no longer connected, instead replaced with balls of cotton and tape.

"Who removed your IV tubes?" Celestia inquired. Christian just smirked.

"Oh, I did. Yes, I am fully aware of the consequences, but your doctors were not very familiar with my system, and had placed the tubes into less effective veins." He shrugged. "In response, I removed them, and covered them with the cotton and tape, which were located conveniently in an unlocked drawer over there." He pointed at a medical cabinet next to the door.

Celestia felt like she should protest, but Geo stopped her. "It's okay, Princess. He knows his medicine."

Celestia was still unsure, but let it slide. "So, what was it that i walked in on you two...chatting about?" she asked.

Christian answered this one. "Well, it is a little game we invented where we insult each other with a derogatory comment beginning with a specific letter of the alphabet. It is called the 'Name Game'. For example, we were on the letter 'O', and I believe that Geo was about to call me..." he trailed off, looking at his female counterpart expectantly.

"Oh, I was going to say 'overconfident'." Geo admitted.

Christian turned back to the Princess. "You see? Fun for all ages! Why do we not have a game ourselves, Princess?"

Celestia looked confused. "I would respectfully decline, thank you. Now-"

"I will not take no for an answer, Celestia." Christian singsonged.

Celestia simply sighed and nodded. "Will you listen to me if I play?"

Smirk. "Maybe."

Celestia did not like that at all.

"Alright, Celestia, you go first." Christian requested.

"Hmm...alright, Christian, you are...arrogant."

Geo decided to commentate. "An accurate opening from the Princess! Nothing hurts more than the truth!"

"Ouch! Your words! They sting!" Christian mocked. "You are an ama."

"Oh, and Christian is already switching to foreign languages!" Geo cried excitedly.

"Forgive my asking, but what does that mean?" Celestia inquired, genuinely curious. She promised herself she would not get angry at the results. After all, it is just a game.

"It is Japanese for 'one who is, or acts like a bitch.' Christian explained, smirking upon reaching the trigger word.

Celestia remained true to her promise, however.

"You are...brutish." Celestia countered.

"And Celestia strikes back!" Geo cried.

This continued on, insult after insult. Celestia was more reluctant with hers, as she was not rude by nature, but she did use insults from several languages, including Griffon and Buffalo. Christian had a whole plethora of them up his sleeve as well, from Japanese to Indonesian to Russian to German, even to Latin. Christan was obviously winning, but he knew it was because Celestia was not trying.

Nevertheless, they were enjoying themselves.

Finally...

"You, Christian, are zoned-out." Celestia said, earning a disappointed groan from both humans.

"And a weak finish from Celestia. But Christian still has one remaining...quiet, folks, and let's see what he has as a final retort." Geo said in a stage whisper.

"Celestia, my dear, ruler of Equestria..." Christian began. Geo leaned in. Celestia smiled at her own unexpected anticipation.

"You are a Zonah."

Geo went ballistic. "Oh my God, what a tremendous finish from Christian! And in Hebrew as well! He is truly deserving of the title 'Master Debater'!" Geo cheered for a while after, purposely getting overexcited for the fun of it. It did not take long for Christian to pick up on the title he had been 'awarded'.

Celestia could not help but giggle at her antics, even if she did not know what Christian had said. She did not really want a translation.

"Is this truly how you like to relax? By insulting each other?" Celestia questioned.

"Oh, no, Princess. We argue in a friendly manner, no harm done. I do other things in my spare time, but talking with Christian really vents my frustration." Geo explained.

"Indeed. While Geo enjoys 'playing alone' to pass the time," he began, earning a mortified look from Geo that went unnoticed by the Princess, as did the true meaning behind what he said, "I enjoy playing the piano. I am quite talented, I am told. That is what I do for relaxation."

Christian the cleared his throat. "Well, Princess? You played along, and I have decided to indulge you. What did you want to ask?" Christian asked.

Celestia put on her 'Royal Court' face, which is to say, completely neutral, and said "Christian and Geo, I need you to come with me to room 233. We have decided your fate in our lands."

Christian's face fell. "Oh, but what a fun time we were having! If you really wish to kick us out, just say so!" he mocked.

Geo was not taking it so lightly.

"Princess...do we really have to leave?" she questioned, looking rather upset.

"No, that has not been decided. We need your input if we are to make a final decision." The Princess of the Sun confirmed, which put Geo's fears to ease.

"Well, I will need my clothes if I am to be walking anywhere." Christian said. "I doubt anyone would want to see me naked. Considering my parents interesting choice of bodily decor, scars are pretty much everywhere." He pointed to a small container near the door. "They are in there."

Geo gave him a questioning look. "Um, how did you know?"

"Well, for one, I can see the tip of my sleeve poking out of the top."

"Ah."

Geo went over to the container, and sure enough, Christians clothing was all there. Grey underwhere, black and white socks, grey jeans with no holes or tears, a dark blue shirt with the number '73' on the front, and a grey hoodie.

Christian got out of bed. Celestia immediately averted her gaze.

"Christian, have some decency! Didn't you just say-"

"I know what I said, Princess. Eidetic memory. I knew you would look away." Christian confirmed. About two minutes later, all of his clothing was on. He looked just like he had when he first came through the portal.

"Good, we can go." Celestia remarked. She turned to the door, but then turned back.

"Geo, you told me outside the library that humans did not like to expose themselves in front of others. Why did you not turn away?"

Geo shrugged. "I've lived with him for six years. I've walked in in him in the shower, he's walked in on me mas-uh, getting changed. It's something you just get used to."

"Right..." Celestia said intelligently.

Celestia realised something else.

"You have three fractured ribs, one broken rib, and head trauma. How are you able to get up?"

Christian smirked. "When you have to go through what my parents put me through daily, without medical attention, you learn how to treat yourself. But before you learn to do that," Christian stretched, making himself gas at the sudden pain in his chest, "you have to learn how to take the pain."

Celestia dropped that subject very quickly. From there, the ruler of Equestria and her two human counterparts walked the halls, Christian gasping every now and again.

///

When they arrived, they found that Twilight Sparkle had already returned.

"Princess, I couldn't get the doctors to comply, so-" She looked over at Christian and Geo. "You took care of it."

"Now how in tarnation are ya'll out an' about?" Applejack demaned. "I bucked you in the head mighty hard."

Christian smirked. "Dear Applejack, my father was a much harder hitter than you."

Applejack shut up right there.

Rainbow was glaring at him. "Hey Christian. How're your ribs?" She asked with a slight grin.

"Christian smirked in return. "How is Fluttershy?"

Rainbow's eyes opened wide, and she looked over at Fluttershy, who looked away, blushing. She couldn't possibly know... Nopony else in the room seemed to pick up on what he meant by that except Geo and the two pegasi present, the pegasi in question exchanging uncomfortable glances, wanting to talk about it, but unable to in front of so many other ponies, and royalty, even.

Everypony was still in a circle around the bed, and Applejack and Luna moved aside to make room for the humans.

Everypony was there, the Elements, the Diarchs, the humans, and Spike. The plan could now be discussed.

Celestia began. "Alright, Christian, Geo. Before we begin, I would like Christian to answer a few questions."

Christian grumbled at being told what to do, but was somewhat...aware of Applejack, who was standing right next to him. He complied.

"Yes, Celestia?" he received a bump on the side from the orange farm mare. "Yes, Princess Celestia?"

"I am going to say a few words, and I want you to say the first word that comes to mind." The Princess finished.

Christian looked wholly unamused. "If, after I answer this, I must do the Rorschach Ink-Blot test, my answers to the standard are a butterfly, a bat, a dragonfly, and two bears high-fiveing."

Celesita just shook her head, and began.

"Honesty?"

"Deceit."

"Alright...Generosity?"

"Self-indulgence."

"Loyalty?"

"Betrayal."

"Laughter?"

"Insecurity."

"Kindness?"

"Sister."

"Magic?"

"Science."

Celestia nodded. "That's pretty much what I was afraid of." She raised an eyebrow suddenly. "Wait, what did you say for 'Kindness'?"

"Cruelty."

"Oh, I must have misheard you." Celestia shook her head. "Never mind that."

"You misheard me? Are you getting on in years, Princess?" Christian mocked, which Celestia ignored, though this earned him some looks from around the room, especially from Twilight.

"Christian and Georgina," she looked over at Geo with an apologetic look. She didn't like it, but she kept quiet.

"Christian and Georgina," Celestia repeated, "the Elements, Spike, Luna and I have come to an arrangement."

"We have asked everypony here about how they would feel about this plan. The majority ruled in favour." She nodded, thinking to herself.

Christian became impatient. "Well?"

"We brought you to this world by pure accident. We cast a spell that was meant to bring a few objects from a random location in a random dimension. You were the result. If we cast the same spell to get you back, the same thing would happen. It would be random." Celestia put on her 'Royal-Court' face, and continued. "Now, we have commissioned our greatest scientists and magic experts to finding out how to cast that spell so that you would be able to return to the exact location you were taken from."

Celestia then smiled. "We have something planned for you in the meantime."

Christian did not like where this was headed.

"I have discussed it with the Elements, and after some small convincing, they all agree." Celestia stood up straight.

"Christian, Georgina, while you stay in Equestria..."

Christian and Geo both leaned in towards her, Geo in anticipation, Christian with rapidly growing impatience.

"We have decided that you will stay with each element, in turn, to learn the true meaning and magic of friendship."

Nopony said a word. The entire room, for the umpteenth time that day, was bathed in silence. This silence was short lived, however, when Geo spoke out.

"Yes! Yes, I would love to stay!"

Everypony either cheered or smiled at her reaction. They had temporarily forgotten about Christian.

That is, until he made is presence reknown.

"Alright, Celestia, I am going to answer that with a question." Cjristian said calmly. "do not take any offence from this question if you can help it."

Christian cleared his throat, stood up straight, sniffed, swallowed, took a deep breath, and...

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!"

Pretty much everyone jumped, except Geo, who saw it coming.

"Alright, first off, you bring me here, against my will! You lose points for that. You knock me out over what was nothing more than a misuner- you know what? No, it was not. I was trying to get us some food for later! You knock me out for that! Then Tomboy here picks a fight with me after I make a few harmless insults towards her friends. I have had much worse, but really? Then, Dolly Parton here comes in and kicks me in the head full force, causing untold amounts of damage! I could have died! And then, to top it all off, after all of that, you ask me to stay with you, and to not expect a reaction?!"

Christian was breathing heavily. He was looking at each pony in the room, in turn.

"Applejack! How would you feel if I were to stay with you? Could you tolerate such a violent creature?"

Applejack thought for a bit. "Actually, if you could channel yer violence into kickin' prowess, ya might be a helpin' hoof on th' farm. Ah could also teach ya how ta be honest."

Christian stared. "I knew I should not have started with the 'southern beauty'."

He turned to the bed itself. "Rainbow Dash! I beat your head into the ground thirty-eight times, kicked you in the stomach hard enough for you to empty it, almost broke your wings, not to mention the awkwardness that will happen later on."

"Yeah, but I can always just get you back later for it. Besides, I have a feeling that 'awkwardness' may not turn out so bad. Anyway, loyalty is something you need to work on, and I'm just the mare to help!" Rainbow replied.

"Pinkie Pie?"

"Oh, we could bake to-"

"I will not even go there. Twilight? Spike? Do you not hate me for hurting your friends?" Christian asked, now starting to sound desperate.

"I could never bring myself to hate anyone. Hate is the complete and total absence of love, and I love everypony to some degree. Besides, i can teach you all about the magic of friendship, just like my friends taught me." Twilight explained. Spike nodded.

"I don't hate you. It wasn't you who said...those words to me..." he said, casting a quick glance over to Rarity.

"Rarity?" Christian questioned.

"Darling, you tried to eat a pony. There are no words for something like that. You also have a horrid sense of fashion." Rarity shook her head. "But I could use some help gathering gems now that Spike..." Rarity sighed. 'I can also teach you about Generosity."

"Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy began to speak, but Christian cut her off. "I actually have less of a problem living with you than I do anyone else, so do not bother. You will teach me 'kindness' or whatever."

Something clicked in Christian's head. "That is why you asked those questions. You wanted to know what I thought about the 'elements'."

"Indeed." Celestia acknowledged.

Christian looked around the room. "Do none of you fear the mental anguish that I can and most likely will put you through?"

"Not really." Pinkie Pie said cheerfully. "And besides, we can just get Rainbow Dash or Applejack to punch you up some if you try to be a big ol' meanie-pants again."

Christian was not pleased.

"What if I still disagree?"

Celestia looked at him, a smirk on her face. "Well, if you do not agree, I can tell my scientists and magic masters to stop research..."

Christian put every ounce of emotion he was physically capable of feeling into the following glance and sentence. "You wound not..."

"What do you say?" Celestia asked. Christian was in a hopeless situation. Either he stay with those he hated most, and that had ruined his less-than-perfect-to-begin-with life so that he was able to leave, or he would be forced to stay here forever, not necessarily in their company, but just...here, in general.

As much as it pained him, the only logical conclusion was...

"I hate you all. But yes."

Everyone in the room cheered, much to his chagrin. "But," he called, grabbing everypony's attention. "I have one condition."

"What is that?"

Christian looked over at Geo, and remembered something that they had talked about in room 45, before the 'Name Game'. She was smiling, and that, for whatever reason, made him feel slightly better about the situation.

"My condition is this: We are allowed to go back into the forest first, and collect some of the items that came with us." He smiled, with no humor. "If I am going to get through this sane, I need Pepsi."

This is the next step in the large chain of events centred around the two strangest creatures, now official guests, in Equestria, Christian and Georgina.

"Hey!"

Sorry, Geo.

///

Author notes: Alright, fans of mine, I have a dilemma. If you have read my bio, then you know I am only sixteen, and as such, I am still in school. I have been able to write this solely because it's the school holidays. From Monday onward, I will no longer be able to go with the daily updates, because I will have school. And school will involve homework. As much as pleasing my fellow bronies (and the occasional pegsister) brings joy and meaning into my otherwise bland life, school does take priority, and in that regard, I am like Twilight, because when I study and work, I damn well study and work.

Next chapter, Christian is sent to Sweet Apple Acres, while Geo is sent to Carousel Boutique. Hilarity ensues. Or, at least, I hope it will.

I'm also working on another story! By working on, I mean I have plans, but haven't started. I'll begin once this fic is done, so it should take a while.

Finally, don't forget to ask Christian and Geo anything you wish in the comments, or in my PM.