Grocery List

by Belgian Waffle

Rating: everyone
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 2698

A stallion goes grocery shopping

The story of a stallion who simply goes grocery shopping without his list of items he needs.

Mostly a filler story for a longer story I'm working on. The characters have no names, and the protagonist has no description of what he looks like. Let your imaginations run wild!

Hope it's somewhat enjoyable.

(Story to be edited eventually. Image © by me: http://belgianwaffleart.deviantart.com/#/d54m5dq )

Published 2012-04-02 22:14:03 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-02 22:14:03 UTC

Grocery List

“I was sure I got the list before I left… Great, now I’m going to have to walk all the way back home to get the darn list… hmm, too far. Took me… what, ten minutes to get here? Geez, why is this place so far anyways? It’s quite an inconvenience if you ask me.”

The stallion continued down the long dirt trail through a valley until he caught site of a large thatch building up ahead. The building had double swinging doors at the front with a few shoppers entering and exiting like clockwork. There was a big sign with a picture of a picnic basket with vegetables and fruits in it painted on the face. The sign was placed on the top of the buildings so ponies would have a hard time missing it.

“Uggh, finally,” he said while giving a big sigh as he approached the front doors. “Took long enough to get here. I swear, I’m gonna win the lottery and buy one of those new carriages that can run own their own. What do they call them? Cass…? Kraus…? Or was it Curts…? Meh.”

He shrugged off his last thoughts as he entered the building. He was met with a wave of cool air that washed over him from an AC unit placed above the door. He grabbed a shopping saddle, slung it onto his back, and started scanning a posted list of the aisles in the grocery store he was in.

“Okay, let’s see.” He scrolled his hoof further down the list, trying to jog his memory of what he needed from the store in the first place. “No, no, no, no- wait… Bread, yes! I always need bread! Aisle 13.”

He trotted past every other aisle until he reached the last aisle at the left side of the store. He trotted into the aisle and started scanning the shelves for a specific kind of bread he needed.

He glanced past the white breads, sweetbreads, fancy breads, bread rolls, bread loafs, corn breads, flat breads, and the potato breads until he finally came upon wheat bread. He carefully grabbed the end of a bag with his mouth and carefully swung it into his shopping saddlebag.

“Okay. Cross off bread from my mental check-list. Now what might I need?”

He went around the corner of the aisle in the backside of the store to scan past the aisles and see what else he might need.

“I know I don’t need milk,” He said out loud to himself. “I drank some before I left. And I’d hate to have to carry that big jug all the way back home. If only that farmer would give me some milk from his cows every now and then. All I’d have to do is refrigerate it, right? But nooooo! He had to be all grumpy and yell at me. He just had to say no, geez!”

He turned into an aisle full of many brands of cereal. There were a few other ponies in the same aisle. Most were mothers with their little fillies.

“Let’s see. Crunch Captain, Sweet-O’s, Cinnayummy’s, Sweet Loops, Delici-O’s, Krunch-O-brans… I swear, if I see another cereal with the letter 'O' capitalized again…”

He passed more brands of cereals with and without capital O’s in them before he came upon his favorite cereal brand. The portion of the shelf that housed his favorite brand was completely hallowed but for one box that stood in the middle all by itself.

“Ha ha! You’re Mine!” He said as he started to get closer to it.

Suddenly, a small colt ran up to the box, grabbed it with his mouth, and ran off with it.

“What th- HEY YOU LITTLE PUNK! YOU BETTER GET BACK HERE WITH THAT BOX!”

He was soon galloping full-speed towards the small colt to retrieve the box that was rightfully his. He was careful to dodge other shoppers and random tables with pastries on them as he galloped.

He turned into an aisle where he believed the colt ran into. He then saw the colt throw the box of Fruity Rocks into a shopping saddlebag that was worn by, who seemed to be, his mother.

The colt turned towards the stallion and blew a raspberry at him.

“Why you little…”

The stallion was nearly livid at the little miscreant. He trotted closer to the pair before the colt did something even more mischievous.

The colt said, “Mom, help! This stranger’s been chasing me!”

Immediately, the pink coat, green and yellow mane mare turned around to face the stallion who had previously been storming towards them. The stallion froze on the spot, before the situation got worse.

“GET AWAY FROM MY SON,” the mare yelled.

The stallion was about to explain himself, until his vision flashed with stars and his head jerked sideways. His brain received a signal three milliseconds later that the left side of his face was in pain.

Before his brain could tell the stallion that something had hit him, more stars flashed in his vision and his head jerked in the opposite direction.

The stallion’s brain immediately told him to turn around and get away from wherever he was, even though he couldn’t see straight. He did exactly that, and ran into a table full of sippy cups.

His vision started to clear, and he could see that he was within a small pile of baby drinking cups. By the time he could feel that his face was in pain, an intercom creaked in.

“*ahem* Clean-up on aisle-”

His head jerked downwards, but without flashing stars this time. He turned around to see the mare biting onto a string that was attached to a purse. She was preparing to give it another swing towards the stallion.

He got up before she could hit him with it again, and dashed away from the mother and son to the right-side of the grocery store and into aisle one.

“…Oww,” he said to himself as he rubbed a hoof against his left cheek. “What does she have in that thing, boulders?!”

He rubbed his cheek a little more before he looked into the aisle he was in and saw that it was the frozen foods aisle. “Maybe I can find some ice in here,” he sarcastically mused to himself.

The stallion trotted further into the aisle and looked for more food to put in his saddlebag. He stopped once he saw rows full of frozen ready-to-cook pizzas.

“Mushroom, spinach, walnuts, blue cheese… Hmm… Ah! Mozzarella!”

He pulled open the glass fridge door, grabbed the pizza box and threw it into his saddlebag.

“Let’s hope I don’t burn it like last time. Yuck!”

He shook the shivers of his past off as he started trotting towards the front side of the grocery store and out of aisle one. He went back to the list of aisles and scanned them for the second time. He found a particular aisle within it and began trotting towards it.

He turned into aisle seven and started looking for the packets of mixing powder to make Chill-Aid drinks. Just as he entered the aisle though, he noticed a familiar pony in it.

It was a mare with snow white mane and coat. She held two different packets of Chill-Aid in her hooves and was deciding which flavor to choose from.

The stallion stopped walking and stared. He knew this pony. He went to school with her, and they used to be good friends; even though deep inside he wanted to be more than just ‘friends’. He had a deep crush on her. He loved that she was completely white except for her sparkly green eyes. He loved the curvatures on her body and her silky smooth mane. She also had a beautiful voice whenever she spoke. Too bad she wasn’t much of a speaker.

The stallion just continued to stare at the mare, completely losing track of time and things going on around him. Soon the mare glanced with her eyes in his general direction, and then turned her head at him completely.

The stallion froze even harder and with wide-eyes, not knowing what to do. His body temperature went up significantly and forced his head to produce sweat. He was just caught staring at an old friend he liked. He didn’t know how to get out of this situation. He’s never been in this kind of situation before, so he didn’t know what else to do.

The stallion then saw the mare smile towards him. Now he was confused. She just caught him staring at her. She’s not going to chase him with a purse and bludgeon him with it? She’s not going to run away or scream?

The mare set the packets of cherry and orange flavored Chill-Aid back onto the shelf, and started trotting towards the stallion.

The stallion’s hooves started to tremble.

The mare came up to him and was about to greet him. Her smile wiped away by the time she was able to get a closer look at him. “Hey, are you okay?” she asked with a voice that sounded like it belonged to an angel.

The stallion snapped out of his trance and noticed that his head was drenched in sweat by the time the mare had come closer to him. He quickly wiped it away with a shaky hoof and smiled reassuringly at her. “Never been better!” he lied. He stuttered as he continued speaking. “Umm… Ho-, how, how h-have y-y-you been?”

The stallion face-hoofed in his mind.

The mare giggled a little at the stallion. “Hehe, that’s good! I’ve been doing well myself. It’s great meeting you here. It’s been a while since we met.”

“It sure has,” The stallion responded more coherently. His overwhelming anxiety slowly faded away as the conversation continued. “I haven’t seen you ever since we graduated.”

“Yeah. Those were the days,” she mused, staring off a little. “Now I’m grown up and living on my own!”

“What do you do for a living?” The stallion asked.

“Oh, I’m a lights mixmaster. I’m hired to go to certain events and be their master technician or light master.”

“Really? When did you find that job?”

“A few years back. I ran into DJ Pon-3 and asked if she needed any help with lighting at any of her shows. You’ve heard of her right?”

“Yeah.”

“Right. So she said yes, and I got to work at her next show. She said I did a terrific job and told others about my work. I’ve been flooded with requests to do other shows ever since. It’s an amazing job!”

“Wow, you sure seem happy with it,” The stallion responded.

“Yeah, it is pretty good,” said the albino mare. “So how about you? What do you do?”

“Oh… umm…” He had a hard time figuring out how to say he’s unemployed without bluntly telling her that he’s currently unemployed. One idea screamed out the loudest, so he chose that. “I’m currently… umm… interning!”

“Interning, huh? Where?”

Shoot, should have thought of that. “At the… umm… place… you know!”

“Umm, no not really,” she chucked while responding.

“It’s a, umm, big company… not far from here… really complex name, but it’s pretty, umm… nice!” He held a smile, even though it was getting harder for him to lie to her.

“I see…” she said. “So you work at a place that you can’t even pronounce the name?”

The stallion took a big gulp before responding. “…yep!”

“Hmm. Well I hope you have fun at the ‘interning’ place. I gotta go back home to feed the dog.”

She has a dog? She likes dogs?

The mare continued. “Hey, we should meet again sometime.”

The stallion perked at hearing this. “Really? You think so?”

“Yeah, sure!” the mare responded. “I’d like to get to talk to you some more, ya know? Catch up on things.”

“Yeah… Yeah, sure! That sounds nice! When do you wanna meet again?”

The mare put a white hoof to her white chin to think of a time and place to meet. “How about a week from now? Same day, three-o-clock at the park?”

“Sounds nice, but why so late?” the stallion asked.

“I’m gonna be busy at a week-long concert. I won’t be available at all until next week”

It was a slight let-down to know he wouldn’t be meeting her as soon as he’d like, but he was happy to know that they will meet at all. “Okay, sure thing. I’ll see you then and there!”

“Cool, see you around!” With those words, the albino mare trotted past the stallion in the opposite direction. After she had fully passed him, the stallion turned around to see her leave.

Before she left the aisle completely, she turned around and looked back at the stallion. She gave him a wink before she continued and disappeared behind a corner.

The stallion was feeling very euphoric at this point. He wore a big smile on his face while he stood in the middle of aisle seven of the grocery store. He was going to meet a past friend in the park next week. He couldn’t wait for that day to come!

He soon trotted to the Chill-Aids, knocked two packets of apple cider flavored powders into his saddlebag, and trotted back to the front of the store.

He arrived at a checkout counter and set his four items on the table. A pony behind the table wearing a red vest clicked a few button on the register. After the last click, the machine gave a ring and opened its money drawer. The cashier looked at the stallion and said, “That’ll be 7 bits please.”

The stallion reached into his pockets and pulled out his bits, all 6 of them.

“Uh, oh,” he said.

“Is something wrong sir?” asked the cashier.

“Yeah, I’ve only got 6 bits on me.” He showed the cashier the bits on his hooves.

The cashier glanced at the bits, and then enlightened the stallion. “Sir, you could take one of these Chill-Aids off the table. That’ll drop the price one bit.”

The stallion glanced at the table with a loaf of sliced bread, frozen pizza, and two packets of powdered Chill-Aids on it. He’d hate to get home and find out that he was completely out of Chill-Aid. This would mean that he could only mix one packet into his water jug, which isn’t enough to make it taste good.

He sighed anyways and pushed aside of the packets. The cashier pressed two buttons and the machine rang again. The stallion handed over all of his bits, and proceeded to package his items into a plastic bag.

He was soon out the door and on his way towards the long trail home. He hated that he spent his money on a few things he probably didn’t need, but the trip turned out to be more worthwhile than he had planned. He was going to meet the mare of his dreams in a week, and that thought made him smile greatly.

He felt like the day was going to be absolutely wonderful.

He then felt a tap on his shoulder.

He turned to see an officer pony glaring at him through his sunglasses. He had a moustache and a blue vest with a badge on it. When he spoke, he had a gruff voice.

“Son, do you know these two by any chance?” The officer pointed a hoof behind him.

Standing behind him was a mare with yellow and green mane and a pink coat. She wore a frown on her face and held her kid close to her. The kid held a box of cereal in his mouth. It was a box of Fruity Rocks. It was the stallion’s favorite brand. It was the last one in the store.

“Oh… crap.”

There you go! I wrote this story in one sitting. It's mostly a filler for another story i'm working on, but I hope it's somewhat good. Thumb it up if it's good, thumb it down if not. Thank you for reading!