I can't feel my hooves. Without a doubt, all of my extremities are frostbitten. I told them that I'd be out for only a few hours, but I was able to see the sun then. How long have I been walking now? Four hours? Eight? Twelve? I didn't really bother keeping track. Either way, I am lost in the Everfree forest and I'm probably not even going to see the sun again. Every year, there are reports about ponies that went missing in the forest and were found as frozen snow-ponies a few days later, but I never once thought that I'd be the one to make the headlines. The first few hours after I realized I was lost are mostly a blur. My mind was on overdrive and it took a while for me to calm down and start thinking straight. All I can remember is walking for who knows how long.
I think the term, dead quiet would be appropriate here. No wind, no animals, just me, the snow, and the endless forest. All the trees look the same and I can tell I'm going mad because I swear to Celestia that I'm seeing things. The trees seem to be always shifting in the darkness. It's obvious to me that I'm not going to make it home tonight and I've already come to terms with that, but that's no excuse to stop moving while I've still got even a sliver of life still left in me. I'll keep moving even if it means I'll only live a second longer. I remember my father told me that staying active was key to survival in situations like this. I have to keep thinking about anything and everything I can so that my brain doesn't shut down. I'm going to keep going until I can no longer move.
I'm scared. I'm so scared. Not for myself, but for my friends and family. I know they're worried about me. Open Fields. We may have had our differences as kids, but I always loved my big brother. I'm glad that the last conversation we had was a good one. I'll say hi to mom and dad for you. Dart, you're going to have to be the stallion of the house. Take care of your mother and sister, remember everything I've taught you and I trust that you'll become the stallion that will make any father proud. My beloved Chime-In, I pray that you don't lose heart and that you stay strong for our son and the daughter you'll be having soon. I'm sorry that I wont be there for the day she's born as well as being there to father her, but I'll be in your hearts, reminding you that I will always love you. I want to cry so much right now. I miss them. I want nothing but to be with them and hug them, kiss them, and tell them how much I love them.
This is probably the third or fourth time I've thought of my family so far. My mind is doing everything it can to stay active.
I'm getting a little tired... maybe it's about time for me to take a little break... I can see a spot just up ahead that looks like a nice spot to rest...
NO! Don't stop! You're not dead yet.
I shake the thoughts of sleep out of my mind and continue to drag my numb hooves through the snow. I can't feel much else of my body at this point, let alone my hooves.
“Why do you insist on continuing the path of suffering?” A voice whispers into my let ear.
Now I know I've lost it completely. The voice reminded me of my own, but completely different at the same time.
The voice started whispering into my right ear, “Given the state of your body is in, even if you made it back, hypothermia has long since set in. You will die.”
“Life is precious to me. I will do whatever it takes to live just a moment longer. Even if it means I suffer.” My frozen face makes it incredibly difficult to speak, but I know what I'm trying to say in my head.
“Your life is gone. I've taken it and everything it would have been away. Each second you desperately cling on to will cause you nothing but despair as you think about your family and how they're miles and miles away from you.”
I know this is all in my head. I can't let it get the better of me.
“Each second of suffering is another second of embracing my equinity as a pony! I refuse to let it go while I've still got some life left in me.”
“There's no reason to keep fighting. You're even at peace with your fate. Why do you reject death's embrace?”
“I've taken the easy way out of many things throughout my life in Equestria. College, friendships, jobs, everything that got overwhelming, I shamefully ran from.”
“But there's no shame in running this time. Anypony else in your position would take the fastest escape without a second thought.” The voice tried to assure me.
“But those times were also ones that I managed to redeem myself for. I went back to school, made amends with friends, made an honest living, and started a family. I will never have the chance to redeem myself if I let myself die now while I still had time left.”
I waited for the reply, but was only answered by the silence of the forest. I was once again, alone. While I was unable to feel my face, I knew that my eyes were very tired and my eyelids were very heavy. This is it. I've held onto every second of life I had. I would be able to rest peacefully knowing that I didn't give up. My body welcomed the idea of sleep and before I knew it, I was on my side. I don't know if I fell or if I lowered myself to the snowy ground. Everything seemed to be moving much slower.
My eyes are unable to process my surroundings. All I can see is my breath condensing in the frozen night air. It's like each cloud of breath is a bit of my life leaving my body. My father told me something a while ago that I held close to me. What was it? I can't really recall it. I'll just close my eyes for a little while and try to remember what it was while I remain conscious...
Author's Note
This is just a little something that I decided to whip up real quickly. I think this could have been written better, but the point was just to get my sudden flash of inspiration into words. The idea of not giving up is something that comes from the heart though. Even if things are difficult, persevere!
