Now This Book Isn't Lore-Friendly...
It was raining outside and the occasional dead bird slammed into the tree that was Spike's home, but he didn't even flinch as he continued stocking book after boring book into the shelves.
"Stupid Twilight, leaving me alone in this forsaken tree for eight weeks! Who does she take me for, Smartypants? Hah, obviously not, because she brought him to Saddle Arabia. I guess he's less likely to piss off Ibn Saddle with questions about how they treat their mares," Spike grumbled to himself as Derpy slammed into the tree and slowly slid to the ground outside.
"Ugh, what now? I swear, if Twilight pissed off some hay-farting sultan and is going to be another week, I'm gonna join the circus," he continued frustratedly as he strode to the door and threw it open, revealing the tired and frayed Derpy.
"Need something, or did you just get lost? Again," Spike half-growled at the dopey mare.
"No, Spike! I have a package. It's addressed to you," Derpy explained, her eyes staring straight at the dragon for once.
"Really?" Spike asked, crossing his arms. "It's not from Twilight, is it?"
"Nope. Some weird human with a really long beard came out of a tree and gave it to me," Derpy replied, dead serious.
Spike raised an extremely unconvinced eyebrow. "That impact didn't give you brain damage, did it?" he deadpanned.
"I'm serious, Spike! It was a human, and he came out of a tree. I know there was that one time with the croissants, but I promised not to tell you fairy tales about my messages, remember? I always stay true to my word. When I can remember it, anyway.." Derpy said, trailing off as she distracted herself.
"Yeah, yeah. Fine, so somepony gave you this package. Did he tell you who he was, or why he wanted me to have it?" Spike asked, clearly unconvinced.
"No, Spike, not somepony. I said a human gave it to me," Derpy insisted, pulling Spike uncomfortably close to her.
"A human? Is that some kind of foot fungus?" Spike asked, confused.
"No. They are otherworldly creatures of infinite mystery. They created our world, and they watch our every move. Some say they even dictate our actions, and even my words right now could just be those of an omnipresent creator who believes that this will shake up the established order of the world," Derpy rambled, quite clearly insane as she spoke blatant lies with no basis in reality.
"You're insane," Spike declared, infinitely wise and intelligent as he was.
"Yeah, I am. That was completely untrue. What was I talking about, anyway?" Derpy asked, having suddenly and conveniently forgotten her previous blasphemy.
"I don't know. About this book, though? Why did this pony give it to you, and what did he want with me?" Spike repeated.
"I dunno. He didn't say. I guess you'll have to read it to find out!" Derpy chirped, gently placing a small red book in Spike's hands with almost religious reverence.
Spike looked at the book curiously. "The Communist Manifesto? What the hay is this?" he asked, curious.
"I have no idea! But it's got a nice cover. Lovely shade of pink, that is," Derpy commented.
"It's not pink, it's light red," Spike sighed, realizing only after he finished his sentence that trying to convince Derpy of such a simple fact would have as much success as wooing Rarity.
"No, you silly goose, it's pink! Now please, I have to go deliver Rarity her special mare's medication. Oop! Don't tell anyone I said that! See ya!" Derpy squeaked before dashing off, leaving a confused Spike to walk back inside and close the door before the inevitable crashing sound of mailmare hitting street lamp sounded throughout the town.
Groaning with the effort, Spike sprawled out on the library floor, staring at the first page of the book with bored eyes that soon began to glitter with renewed interest as he continued to turn the pages.
"This... is beautiful," Spike giggled as the evil monstrosity that was Communism slithered into his innocent, unguarded mind, corrupting every sliver of his soul with the dark infectious ideology.
___
Twilight Sparkle sighed with relief as the train pulled into Ponyville. It had been an uncomfortable and irritating trip in Saddle Arabia. While Ibn Saddle himself had been hospitable enough, the way that many of his attendants treated the other mares in the grand palace disgusted her. Shaking off the unpleasant memories, she trotted up to the door of her sweet, wonderful home. Casting a spell at the door to open it, Twilight became acquainted with a very strange phenomenon. The door would not open.
"Spike? You there?" Twilight called, brushing off the incidence as a simple happenstance. A cold feeling in her gut started to make itself at home, however, when Spike walked onto the upper balcony and appraised her with sneering eyes that glowed brightly red in a way that made Twilight want to hide under her bed and cuddle Smartypants.
"Why, hello, Twilight. Majestic Princess, dictator of the weak ponies of the land," Spike boomed, his voice unnaturally deep in a way not even Big Macintosh could hope to match.
"Dictator? Spike, what are you talking about? Is this about those pictures of Rarity you took? Because you and I both know that it's wrong to take pictures of mares when they're in the bath," Twilight half-croaked as she futilely attempted to lighten the mood.
"Hah hah, no. This is about something much greater. You and your alicorn kind - you and the unicorns that help you - are the bane of Equestria. The masses lie oppressed and broken at your hooves, all for the sake of your personal quests for power. You care nothing for those under you!" Spike roared viciously.
"Spike, you know that isn't true. The Princesses care. So do I. Please, what's wrong? I can help you," Twilight pleaded with her friend as he shook violently, causing the entire library to vibrate erratically.
"No, you can't. The only ones who can help me - us - are ourselves. THE PROLETARIAT WILL RISE!" Spike bellowed, his voice becoming increasingly twisted. His diminutive form began to expand in a manner Twilight found all too familiar, except it wasn't in the same way from when he had simply become greedy. That was better.
Massive tentacles, each the size of the library itself, sprouted from Spike as he took on the form of an adult dragon once more. Glowing red throughout his massive and scaly form, he effortlessly tore his former home off of the ground and tossed it deep into the Everfree.
Twilight gaped at the show of strength, stumbling backwards slightly. Reluctant to use force against her friend, she stuttered out yet another plea for the monster to see reason.
"Spike... don't make me hurt you," Twilight said, gritting her teeth.
"You fool. You can't hurt me. I am the avatar of the people. I am indestructible!" Spike declared, facing down his former friend with unabated fury.
Twilight sighed quietly, closing her eyes. Casting the only spell she knew that could prevent his rampage, she fired a bolt of lightning straight into Spike's heart. The bolt reflected off of the scaly armor of his chest, dissipating into nothingness.
Spike guffawed horrendously as Twilight recoiled in shock. Before the mare could move, a tentacle wrapped itself around her and slammed her painfully into the ground, knocking the breath out of her lungs.
Gasping in pain, Twilight weakly attempted to fire another bolt at the monstrosity, only for her horn to sputter and die as the familiar sickly sensation of her magic being counteracted made itself known.
"S-Spike... stop... I can h-help... you.." Twilight rasped pleadingly as the tentacle began to wrap crushingly around her with an obvious and final intent.
"I'm not the one who needs help. Of course, you won't be getting any. The proletariat is fed up with your lies, Twilight. You and your royal friends are yesterday's news," Spike sneered at the captive unicorn.
"Now, youngin, I don't think you're one to be talking about the 'people' like you've got any real experience with them," an old, Southern voice called out, surprising both Spike and Twilight.
Granny Smith, a protective and angry scowl on her face, stalked towards Spike. An spear that looked like it had seen action during Luna's original fall was attached to her hoof with a primitive brace.
"And you do? Sure, you might have experience, but you can't remember it. You don't have the mind to lead the downtrodden into a new age, crone," Spike taunted, an overconfident grin spreading across his face like a yeast infection.
"I might be a little fuzzy in the mind, but I still remember the old days. I remember the last one who did what you're doing, and he brought nothing but tears. Nothing but tears. Everything's already fine, and what isn't fine can be fixed. But not like this," Granny Smith said, her voice trembling with emotion and painful memories.
Spike began to pant furiously as ponies began to file around the remains of Twilight's house, looking in on the confrontation with curiosity and interest. Many of them nodded along with Smith as she spoke, causing Spike's eyes to visibly lose the last vestiges of sanity in favor of a complete descent into madness.
"No... you're wrong. The proletariat must be saved. It will be saved! Whether or not it wants to be, it will be saved!" Spike screamed, a hissy fit that would have been hilarious if not for the fact that he was a giant tentacle monster. His massive bloated form rising from the ground, supported by the mass of tentacles, Spike looked out over the whole of Ponyville with diabolic intent.
"MASSES! COME TO ME! BRING REVOLUTION TO THE CORNERS OF THIS LAND! FOR THE PROLETARIAT!" Spike rumbled deafeningly, causing the ponies below to huddle together in sheer terror.
Granny Smith's eyes widened in recognition. "No... the Manifesto. How did he find it?" she gaped, dumbfounded.
Twilight looked over at the wizened mare with confusion. "The Manifesto? What are you talking about?" she asked.
Smith looked down at the ground for a moment, than looked at Twilight with an expression of serenity on her face.
"You have to stop this, Twilight. The madness will overtake all of Equestria, maybe beyond. Go to Sweet Apple Acres. Look behind the outhouse. There is a book there that will explain everything," Granny Smith explained quietly, pulling Twilight close to her.
Twilight looked at her with total confusion evident in her eyes. "What... what will I find?" she questioned.
Spike's body began to pulsate a blindingly bright red, turning the entire sky the color of the contents of Twilight's toilet on certain days of the month. Shrieks emanated from the ponies below as a glowing crimson field began to expand outward from the monstrous dragon.
"Good luck, Twilight. The world is in your hands," Granny Smith said softly, leaping with surprising dexterity onto the surprised unicorn and tackling her to the ground. Twilight had barely a moment to even register what had happened before Spike's field overtook them both.
One second, Smith's face was bunched up tightly against Twilight's own. The next, only a handful of bits of pulverized bone remained, settling on Twilight's bruised chest.
Twilight stared, dazed and in shock, at what had once been the matriarch of the Apple family. Granny Smith was dead.
"No... impossible... no, no, no! She can't be... oh... oh no.." Twilight cried, stumbling almost drunkenly off of the ground. It was only as she did so that she realized the other ponies around her were walking towards her in unnatural unison.
Looking around, she saw Octavia, Scootaloo, and the Mayor all gazing at her with glazed expressions as they shambled towards her.
"Zombies? No, they look pretty alive. Just... oh, he didn't.. he did! Mind control.. that's gotta be it," Twilight thought hurriedly, willing her sluggish mind to think of a spell to escape from the approaching ponies.
"I don't want to kill them. Maybe a stun spell? Or some kind of invisibility charm? Stuns are a bit easier, but it might be hard if I get too many of them following me.. screw it, stun it is," Twilight muttered as Octavia got within striking range.
"I'm very sorry about this. If it makes you feel any better, I really like your playing style. Really evokes the classics," Twilight said appeasingly as she fired an incapacitating bolt of energy into Octavia's chest, knocking her onto the ground with a pained grunt.
Turning to the next closest, the Mayor, she sighed. "I liked that new ordinance. It was really good of you to put local business ahead of Manehattan's companies," Twilight continued as she fired again, whacking the Mayor across the jaw and causing her to ragdoll into a nearby produce bin.
Finally, Twilight turned to Scootaloo. The little filly lurched towards her, moaning in a manner that seemed more like someone who had just woken from a nap rather than a zombie.
"Scoots, you're a really determined filly. Your wings haven't grown, but you've got more spirit than most pegasi I've met. Please don't hate me for this," Twilight said hurriedly as she levitated the small filly and placed her gingerly in a nearby dumpster, causing her to half-heartedly attempt to escape the dumpster with a pathetic series of nudges.
Looking around at the carnage before bolting, Twilight began to sneakily navigate through Ponyville, hiding behind crates, trees, and a sleeping Pinkie Pie as she tried to make her way to Sweet Apple Acres and the very distant hope of stopping Spike's destructive influence.
"I wish Granny Smith had told me more about this Manifesto... I have no idea what I'm supposed to do..." Twilight thought, her mind wandering off only to be smacked down back to reality as she almost slammed headlong into Big Macintosh as he lumbered down the street.
Ducking quickly behind a crate as Big Macintosh walked by and out of view, Twilight sighed in relief.
"Thank Celestia.. I've got to be more careful," she muttered.
"Oh! I think I heard something!" a voice sounded from a nearby crate, propped against a wall Twilight's heart began to pound as she prepared a stun spell.
"Quiet! It's probably one of those crazy moany things. Do you want to be turned into one of them?" another voice whispered harshly.
Feeling almost relieved, Twilight inched towards the crate. "Hey, I'm not one of them. Maybe we could help each other," she whispered softly. The crate shook slightly and was pushed to the side, revealing a small crevice in the wall where two colts huddled together, clearly terrified.
"Snips and Snails?" Twilight asked, surprised. "How did you manage not to be turned into one of those.. things?"
"Well, we were just walking down the street when it happened. There were plenty of ponies around us who were turned, so.. I don't know. Maybe we just got lucky?" Snips suggested, still quivering in fear.
"Or maybe it was all a super-secret conspiracy to turn everyone else into these things so that Twilight here could blame us for it and get in good with Trixie! Because there was that one article from Ponyville Confidential I remember where they said you had a thing with Trixie, Twilight!" Snails accused the incredibly confused unicorn.
"Well, as mind control, I suppose it doesn't have much to work with here," Twilight deadpanned, a frustrated frown creasing her face.
"Hay! That's not nice! Uh, what do you mean?" Snails stuttered, scratching his head.
"Oh, forget it. Just stay down until this all blows over," Twilight commanded before continuing her very sneaky sneaking down the alleyways towards the apple farm.
After uneventfully sneaking her sneaky butt to the edge of Sweet Apple Acres, Twilight gazed at the farmhouse, knowing the outhouse that she had used many times after obtaining the ancient curse of diarrhea from Apple Bloom's often lethal concoctions.
Slowly approaching the house while squinting to see if there were any of the mind controlled ponies around, Twilight breathed a sigh of relief when she managed to get to the outhouse without any trouble. Searching behind the outhouse as Smith instructed, she found a small dirty little book. Struggling to read the cover, she could only make out two words.
"Atlas Shrugged? How is this going to..." Twilight trailed off as a bright, warm sensation flowed throughout her body. The book, somehow, was rejuvenating her. Leaping on top of the farmhouse with an effortless magical bound, Twilight roared defiantly into the sky.
"I'M READY SPIKE, COME GET ME!" she screamed, and Spike quickly answered. The deformed tentacle beast dropped down from the clouds, landing directly in front of her. The farmhouse, unable to bear the weight of the two, buckled and collapsed, burying Spike beneath the rubble as Twilight leaped with surprising agility onto the safe ground.
Before Twilight could breathe a burp of relief, Spike threw the house's rubble off like a handful of dust mites. Tentacles sprung out from his increasingly deformed mass, attempting to engulf the unicorn.
Twilight leaped out of the way of the tentacles before landing again, panting a bit with the exertion.
"I'd offer you a last chance for giving up this crusade of yours, but... you're nothing but a looter. You're taking from those who rightfully earned their power and using it to perpetuate a fallen order. And for that, you can't be allowed to live," Twilight growled, the wankfest that was Atlas Shrugged surging through her veins.
"The only looters here are you and your Princesses, Sparkle. And the only fallen order will be Canterlot," Spike retorted, his tentacles readying themselves for another go at the mare.
"SPIKKKKKKE!" Twilight bellowed in rage, charging at the center of Spike's gooey mass with all of her might.
"TWILIIIIIGHT!" Spike screamed back, his tentacles trying futilely to stop Twilight's sudden charge. The Objectivist and the Communist collided, and then the world changed.
A blindingly bright light shone across Equestria. The corrupted ponies of Ponyville once again became free, and the land was purged of the influence of both the great Manifesto and of Atlas Shrugged. But at what cost?
DUN DUN DUN.
___
Spike sighed as he sat forlornly in front of a small gravestone, nearly the entire population of Ponyville behind him. Their faces were tear-stricken, particularly Rarity as she wailed inconsolably.
"I'm sorry. You were one of the best friends I had. I'll never forget you," Spike whispered, hugging the gravestone. Rarity came up beside him, attempting and failing to stifle her wails.
"You were so wonderful! Insightful, kind. I... I can't believe you're gone," Rarity choked. Almost in sync with the tears of the mortals, the skies themselves began to cry. Almost instantly, a downpour began to soak the graveyard, forcing all of the mourners to seek shelter.
Spike gave one last look at the gravestone.
"Goodbye, Tom," he said, his voice shaking.
"C'mon, Spike!" Twilight called from the nearby shelter. "You don't want to get a cold, do you?"
"I'm coming," Spike said, plodding heavily into the warm embrace of his friend.
"How did Tom die, anyway?" Diamond Tiara wondered aloud. "He's just a rock," she continued snidely in blatant disregard for the gravity of the situation.
Without missing a beat, Rarity karate chopped Tiara in the face, knocking her to the ground.
"Not my Tom, you bitch!" Rarity howled as she pinned the bitchy filly to the ground and began beating her with a handbag.
"Are you sure the world's entirely back to normal?" Spike whispered into Twilight's ear.
"Maybe not. But it's certainly a lot more interesting," Twilight whispered back, a slight smile on her face.
