I is for Stupid

by Normal

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random
Length: 1415

Various vignettes too short to stand alone. Marvel at the mysterious meandering trails of my mind.

Various vignettes too short to stand alone. Marvel at the mysterious meandering trails of my mind.

Some are too short to sit by themselves, others are stories abandoned/forgotten about.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-28 05:30:01 UTC

A Mentor to Another

The night grew near and with it would come her prey. She could only wait with bated breath as her eyes flickered between the peach pink glow of the horizon and the stony cold greyness of the castle halls. Tonight was the night, tonight nothing would stop her.

The pink glow deepened to an orange hue, the last final flares of sunlight beaming down now. Her flank shook with anticipation and now her eyes glued themselves to the only entrance to the hall. She was above, sitting comfortably on a rafter and invisible to anypony that might enter this way. Just the way she wanted it. If her plan worked as, well, planned, the pony she wanted would casually walk under this beam of wood at precisely one minute after the sun finished setting.

Yes…It was all coming together.

The pony started to tumble as her balance was lost. Those were the woes between imitating the classic villains. In real life when someone rubbed their hooves together with glee it tended to end poorly. Properly adjusted and well hidden in the depths of the shadows once more, amber eyes narrowed and darted to the horizon for one final time.  The light was gone, completely faded, and the pony in the rafters had no way to tell for how long this had been.

“Hey kid, get down from the rafters. It’s not safe up there for somepony like you.”

That voice…once more the pony almost fell from the rafters.

“See, that’s exactly what I mean,” There was a slight sense of mirth in the mare’s voice this time, “Want some help getting down from there before you break your neck?”

The sound of popping joints punctuated the mare’s thought process as she cracked her own neck from side to side in a rolling motion.

“Hey, I can get down on my own…I...know how to fly just fine!”

This got a bout of laughter out of the older pony and left her wiping the tears from her eyes.

“Kid, I’ve seen you fly. I know you can do it, wasn't implying otherwise. Just get down here before I get my fat old flank up there. I doubt that perch of yours could hold the both of us.”

Hooves shuffled nervously on wood as the filly looked down at her role model.

“I was going to come down,” She lied, “You were just early…I wasn’t ready!”

“Yeah, yeah. I got your little note.” Stammering interrupted her, “And I’d say I arrive exactly when you wanted me to.”

“It wasn’t my note! I wanted to surprise you!”

Orange feathers spread themselves, the tips brushing against the cold stone walls and hooves matching in hue pushed off the ground. Barely a flap later and the mare drew up even with the muzzle of the small filly.

“Surprise.”

The nose crinkled on the small foal, grey fur made darker by the steadily growing shadows.

"You know that's not what I meant..." Whining left a slight sharpened edge to the filly's voice.

Eyes rolled and hooves spoke for themselves as Scootaloo grasped the small filly's midsection.

"Whatever, kid. Anyways I was going to come find you. Your mom caught me in the hall and told me you've been out all day. I'm supposed to get your flank back to her if I find you," Scootaloo poked the filly's nose, " And guess what? I found you."

A Sprinkle of Chaos

It was a peaceful day in Ponyville. Celestia’s sun was high in the sky and not a single cloud obscured the view. Ponies walked and talked slow and leisurely. Even in the bustling marketplace time was passing at a slower note. In fact the only place in town seemingly not affected by the peaceful weather was a certain library in the middle of town, a sparrow watching on curiously.

“SPIKE!”

“Sugarcube, what are you fretting over?”

“Yeah! I should be outside soaring! This weather is perfect!”

“...Angel’s expecting his lunch, um, if thats ok...meep”

“Darling, could you please stop looking through your books and tell all of us what you are worried abou? All this worry is not good for one’s complexion.”

Twilight’s head shot up from her book, a crazed look dominating her face. Her friends unconsiously took a step back. Twilight galloped over to the table in the middle of the room, disrupting Spike’s own pile of books. She snathced up a scroll in mouth, letting it unravel, revealing delicate handwriting and the flowing signature at the bottom from the very ruler of Equestria herself.

“Thisp ish what’s worrying me!”

Rarity gentley removes the scroll from her friend’s mouth, reading it over and letting Twilight continue talking unimpeded

“Princess Celestia sent this this morning. Evidently this morning the guards partoling the Canterlot Gardens came across the shattered remains of Discord’s statue. When the Night Guard was questioned no one reported seeing the dracoquens but one guard admitted to having seen and halped out a pegasus claiming to have gotten lost within the gardens. No one else saw the colt but Celestia wouldn’t mention it if she didn’t think it was important... though she says she thinks they’re unrelated and not to fret However Shining Armor sent me letter telling me that I was to inform him if any unfamiliar brown pegasus colts are spotted near Ponyville. And Luna sent a letter just an hour ago saying that she was going to send one of her  personal guards for each one of us.”

Twilight was still catching her breath from her fast paced explanation when a knock came from the door. Fluttershy squeaked and dove underneath Rainbow Dash. All five friends stared at the door until Applejack marched forward and flung it open. Six frightful ponies stood calmly just outside the door.

“This is the home of Twilight Sparkle, leader of Elements of Harmony?” Asked what was obviously the leadr of this group of guards.

The other four ponies blinked out of their stupor. Twilight Sparkle stepped forward towards guards going to the Applejack’s side.

“Yes, it is. I am Twilight Sparkle, the Element of Magic and I’d prefer not to be called the leader. These are my friends and we are all equal.”

All six lunar Guards gave a brief bow before standing and continuing to speak.

“Yes Ma’am. We are here to protect you and your friends on orders from Princess Luna, ruler and Bringer of the Night.”

Twilight nodded and motioned for all six to enter the tree while she and Applejack walked over to their three friends, Applejack bending down to help Fluttershy up. The six gaurds entered the building, closing the door behind them. Five of them absorbed their surrounding while the leader viewed the embodiments of the Elements.

“We were given the impression there were six of you”

Twilight started and looked behind her at her friends. Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity...

“Where’s Pinkie?”

Luna Discovers Batmane

I am vengeance, I am the night, I am Batmane.

Luna snorted in a fashion, as most would put it, was quite unprincess like as those words once more floated through her head. Such the thought, the thought of somepony other than she, being "the night" it caused her...

Luna paused for a second, one hoof raised in midstep. Was it laughter? A guardspony gave her a sideways look, wondering perhaps at the curious notions running through his Princess's head. And then, with nothing but a twitch of her lips and a twinkle of her eyes, Luna returned from her realm of thought. She acknowledged the guard with a smile, yet leaving his confusion to go unchecked.

His responsibility both started at and ended at the foot of her bedroom's regal door. Thus, despite this curiosity, if she walked off he would not find any answers, if there were any at all, for another six hours, forty-three minutes and twenty-six seconds. Wait a second, make that twenty-three.

Luna knew none of this. Unable to read ponies with the same ease that her sister found, Luna had no way of knowing after all. There were, of course, things on her mind that had a special way of distracting her that left her even more oblivious to the thoughts of others than she would usually be.

“You, where is my sister?”

The guard could only  blink in surprise as Princess Luna whirled around quite suddenly and confronted him with a look of vengeance in her eyes.