Well, this is just F****IN GREAT!

by Insert Clever Name

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Comedy
Length: 1386

Master shake in Equestria.

Hey, this is Master Shake.

Now, apparently, I'm in this place that USED to be called 'Equestria' BUT, after deciding that name is for fairies, I've renamed it. It is now called, 'Magical horse land where I rule forever and always.' That's the whole name.

Oh s**t, the horses are here, quick, hide me!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-30 15:30:03 UTC

Chapter 1, or, The chapter that sets the situation or whatever

"Alright, so, uh, how do these stories work"? Shake asked to no one in particular. He was standing in front of Frylock's computer, the Wordpad document completely empty of any words. The line on the Wordpad continued to blink at him, almost mockingly.

"FRYLOCK! Tell me how they work!" He shouted towards the hallway.

"How WHAT works, Shake!?" Frylock floated into the room, displeased with the fact that Shake was trying to use his computer. After that whole debacle with the pop up ads, Frylock specifically forbade Shake from ever touching his computer, EVER. The fact that he was standing in front of it was enough to get him to scream at him, but Shake interrupted before he could start.

"How the story writing works, of course." Shake laughed. "What else you moron?"

"Story writing?" Frylock raised his eyebrow. As far as he knew, Shake couldn't read, much less write. "You wanna write a story?"

Shake scoffed at the idiocy of his friend. "Duh."

"O-Okay, um..." Frylock stammered. "What do you wanna write about?"

"Well, you remember the time, I was in that magical horse land?" Shake asked him.

"Yes, I know that story, you only told me a hundred times!" Frylock said, getting angry again. It was clear he was sick of the story.

"Well, I have decided that I..." He began proclaiming. "Shall share that story with the internet, in the hopes that someone will find it, and will like it so much, they will have to make a movie out of it. And I!" He yelled. "Shall be the main protagonist."

"Well, it's great you want to write a story instead of watch T.V all day, Shake-"

"Are you kiddin'? There's nothing I'd rather do more, right now, than watch T.V"

"Then why aren't you watching it?" Frylock asked, incredulously.

Shake stayed silent for moment, looking around Frylock's room, as if trying to find an excuse. "Their's nothing good on."

"Really?"

"Yes really! Believe me, if the new episode of Assisted Living Dracula was on, I'd be watching it. But it's not."

"I thought they canceled that." Frylock stated matter-of-factly.

"They did!? Oh man, I liked that show." Shake said sadly. Honestly, it was hard to tell if Shake was any other emotion other than happy or angry.

"Anyway." Frylock broke the silence. "I'm glad your doing something other than watching T.V or tormenting Meatwad." Frylock remembered something. He hadn't seen Meatwad all day. "Speaking of which, where is he?"

"Oh him." Shake said, disinterested. "I locked him in the crawlspace."

"Dammit Shake, why!?" Frylock shouted, angry again.

"Well, earlier, I asked him to write down the story as I say it, to teach him how to write, because I'm a good person like that." He said trying his best to sound innocent. "But all he wrote down, was this." Shake gave him a piece of paper, completely covered in scribbles, a crude drawing of Meatwad, and a glued maple leaf. "So I decided to punish him, for not listening to me, by locking him in the crawlspace, under the house." Shake looked to the floor for a moment, then added. "With a rabid raccoon."

"GOD DAMMIT SHAKE!" Frylock screamed, as he went to save Meatwad.

"Oh okay, go." Shake started. "Save that little useless ball, while I figure this out, BY MYSELF!" He angrily yelled, slamming the door shut.

He went to the computer, and sat down in the computer chair, sighing. "Okay, so..." He leaned close to the keyboard. "I know just where to start!"

----------------------------Hours Later----------------------------

"And they lived happily ever after, giving Master Shake BJ's whenever he wanted. The End!" He took his hands of the keyboard. "Oh man, my fingers HURT from all that typing. Let's see how I did." Shake looked at the computer.

Shake stared at the gibberish on the computer for a moment. "...Yeah, I'm gonna need some help."

"Okay so." Frylock started. " Against my better judgement for what you did to Meatwad, I've developed a special headset, just for you Shake."

"GIMME!" Shake immediately grabbed the headphones, and placed them on his head. "What do they do?"

"Well, you see that microphone there?" He pointed toward it. "Ask that question again, and look at the computer."

Shake moved closer to the computer. "What do they do?" He repeated, and instantly, the question appeared on the text document.

"Woah! Black magic!" Shake began to panic, as his screams turned into text.

"It's not black magic, Shake." Frylock said, a little peeved. "It translates your words into text, so you don't have to type your story out."

"Oh..." Shake calmed down, and looked around the room some more. "Cool, get out."

"What, why?" Frylock asked, as Shake pushed him out.

"Because I need the utmost of privacy, and I can't work with you constantly meddling." Before Shake closed the door, he said. "And get me a beer."

"Okay, once again, I begin my story." He sat down on the computer chair. "It was a dark, and stormy night..." He started, as the computer typed his voice.

------------Golden Oaks Library, Ponyville-----------

Lightning cracked through the sky, as rain poured out it droves. A dark and stormy night indeed.

Which was weird to Rainbow Dash. A night like this wasn't scheduled for at least a few more months, and especially not in the middle of summer. 'Must have been an accident in the weather factory' She theorized in her head.

She, and the rest of her friend, minus Twilight, were waiting in the lobby of the library, where a large, cylindrical shape, covered in a blue tarp, was with them. Despite the heavy rain, Twilight had knocked on each of their front doors, and told them to meet her in the library. When asked why, she simply said. "This night is perfect for an experiment.'

A short time later, Twilight teleported inside the library. "Hello girls." She said. She was completely drenched in rainwater.

"Twi, what's this all about? 'nd why are you all wet?" Asked Applejack.

"All will be explained in a short time, Applejack. Now girls, I'm sure your all wondering why we're all here."

They nodded in agreement.

"As you all know, before Discord was reformed, he was originally a statue in Celestia's garden. Now, that got me wondering. What about the rest of the statues? I asked Celestia about it. She said some of the statues were just that, statues. Others were some of the top achievers of society. War heroes, scientists, philosophers, ponies like that, who asked to be frozen for one reason or another."

"And the rest." Her voice took a darker tone. "Were some of the worst of the worst offenders. Who make Discord look like a child in comparison. Their statues serve as prisons. Some of them will remain frozen until Tartarus freezes over, while others will be unfrozen in the distant future."

"This particular statue." She pointed to the object in the room. "Was frozen over one hundred years ago, and Celestia told me that today is his release date."

"Woah, woah, woah." Rainbow Dash interrupted. "These sound like some really bad dudes, are you sure we should be releasing this guy?"

"Celestia told me it was ultimately my decision to release him or not." She explained. "And while I'm not really sure if we should, everyone deserves a second chance. We gave it to Discord, after all."

"Just what did this pony do to get frozen in the first place?" Asked Rarity.

"You know, it's the funniest thing. Celestia doesn't remember."

The ponies were surprised at that. The immortal Celestia, forgetting something?

Twilight cleared her throat. "By the way, he isn't a pony."

"Ooh, what is he? A Griffin? A Minotaur? Or maybe..." Pinkie gasped. "Another chaos controlling draconequus!?"

"No Pinkie, he isn't a draconequus." Twilight said, shooting down Pinkie's hopes of more chocolate rain. "He isn't part of any known species anywhere in the world. In fact, considering what he is, he shouldn't technically be alive."

The girls were in suspense. Just what is this thing? They would get their answer shortly.

Twilight grabbed one end of the tarp with her magic. "Gentlemares, behold!" She threw the tarp behind the statue.

"Master Shake!"