Escargot- Best in Show

by mch_89

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Snips, Snails, Rarity
Length: 5092

Snails is known for being a typical boy: dirty, dumb, and just plain messy, but he harbors a secret he fears will bring his world down upon him.

Snails is known for being a typical boy: dirty, dumb, and just plain messy, but he harbors a secret he fears will bring his world down upon him. He secretly longs to be a show pony in the annual spring beauty contest, but there's no way he'll ever be pretty enough to enter. Or is there?

Published 2014-05-04 05:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-11 06:13:32 UTC

Found out

The new Spring sun shone down upon the freshly green town of Ponyville. Earth Ponies were tending to their new seedling crops, Unicorns were helping to put away the tools and supplies used to make nests and clean dens, and Pegasi were busy getting the new spring clouds in place. It had been three days since the Winter wrap up, and the entire town was abuzz with new activity- both Pony, and other creatures. With Princess Twilight overseeing the event, just like she did the last few years, they were done before the end of the day. Despite that, no one ever got her got her to help with that. Twilight, of course, offered to help every year, but the townponies and the Mayor always insisted of doing it the slow way. The mares and stallions insisted that it gave them time to wind down, and get their plans for the new year together. The fillies and colts, however, thought that they wanted to show they could do something like that on their own; not that they minded, however. During this time, school started late and ended early, and with no homework!

Old and young, Ponies everywhere were enjoying the new season and all it brought. That is, except for two young colts. The taller of the two was a light, dull orange, with a teal colored mane and tail. His dopey eyed look and cowlick gave him the look of a simpleton. Long and thin for a colt his age, his identifying mark that adorned his flank was a lone snail with a blank look. The colt to his left was short and chubby for his age. Light blue, with a hint of green, light brown, short unkempt mane and tail, brown eye brows, a button nose, and buck teeth, this colt had an open pair of scissors on his flank. Snips and Snails, the infamously rambunctious colts sat on the patio of Snails' house.

While not exactly neighbors, the his door always had a nice view of Rarity's boutique, and the ponies who went in and out of it. He saw stallions walk in with tattered old formal clothes, and trot out with a brand new tuxedo and hat. They were barely inside for more than half an hour. For such a short time, the colts were happy with what they got, and that made Rarity happy. While Snails had to admit that they looked good, his attention was mainly focused on the mares. The mares spent hours at a time, but came out of what appeared to be a mini spa session- in addition to their new dresses. They always walked in, with their normal cheerful smiles, with looks as commonplace for them from the time they were fillies. The mares that walked out wore beautiful shades of makeup, each complimenting the respective mare's coats and manes, which were meticulously stylized to fit each mare's personality. It was hard to place it, but the only way to describe the beautiful mane work was that couldn't have suited the mare better if she was born with it. They strode out, full of confidence, admiring the work they had paid for. Snails would often watch as they strode confidently, yet delicately off on their way. While Snips was starting to notice mares as most young colts do, Snails was dealing with issues of his own. Namely that he didn't want to court them, but wanted to BE them.

It was a secret he'd only divulged to the best, and sadly only friend he'd had since he was a foal. Snails, one of the two most boyish colts in town, secretly wanted, longed, to know what it felt like- to be cherished as they were, to be made beautiful- to be pretty. No pony, besides Snips knew why Snails would always fall into this slump; they only knew three things: First that it happened every year around the same time. Secondly, it only lasted a month- what ever was draining his spirits would always leave, returning the rambunctious colt the town had grown to know, and begrudgingly love. Third, Snips was always there to help him out, and that gave the town a little peace and quiet. Besides, whenever ponies asked him, he'd only say it was nothing, and walk away; whatever it was, he obviously didn't want to talk about it. In truth, he had some pride in the young colt he was seen as, and didn't know how the town would react, how his family would react. If Snip's reaction was anything to gauge it by, this was one awkward situation we desperately wanted to avoid. Though, to be fair, it's not like he had time to prepare.

A convoluted story short, Snails had enclosed himself in his room, engaging in his fantasy. Using his magic, he crafted a makeshift crown out of random junk lying around his pigsty of a room. He wrapped his bedsheets around himself like a ball gown, and created a pretend bouquet of flowers out of crumpled pieces of paper. His outfit complete, he started on his make-up. Using more ingenuity than everypony gave him credit for, he managed to make a little make up kit using berries and old, discarded containers, brushes and a compact mirror. He'd brush on some “eye shadow”, and “lipstick”. After that, he would start humming to himself as he strode around his room, waving at an imaginary audience, his bouquet suspended by his magic. This is what he always did every few days or so, but this was different. He forgot to lock his door.

In retrospect, he was glad that it was his best friend instead of one of his parents who walked in on him. He must have been so caught up in his fantasy that he didn't hear Snips knocking at his door, because the next thing he knew, his door swung wide open, revealing himself to his friend. Snail's blood ran cold, as he stood there, frozen, staring into the utterly shocked and bewildered face of his life time best friend. Before the stubby teal colt to react, Snails reached out and yanked him into his room, shutting and locking his door. The next few moments seemed to drag on like hours. Snails was unsure of what to say to Snips, while Snips was still trying to comprehend was he was seeing.

All Snails could manage was a weak, scared plea. “Please don't tell.”

"Snails," Snips asked, thoroughly confused. He looked at Snails as if he'd never met him before- as if, in an instant he'd become a total stranger.

"Don't tell," Snails repeated, the look of desperation even more evident on his face. "Please."

"Snails," Snips asked. "What's going on?"

"First," Snails replied. "You have to promise you won't tell."

"Fine," Snips said after a pause. "I promise."

"Pinkie Promise?"

Snips opened his mouth to protest, but saw that Snails really needed someone he could trust. It must be pretty big if he didn't tell his parents. Looking at Snails now, it was obvious that, whatever it is, this was very very big.

"Fine," Snips sighed, as he crossed his hoof over his heart and put it to his eye. "I Pinkie Promise I won't tell anypony. Now will you please tell me what's going on!?"

"I- I," Snails stammered, looking for the right words. "Well it's kinda hard to say."

"You look like you're pretending you're in the Spring Filly Contest," Snips observed, looking his friend up and down.

His eyes widened with shock as Snails confirmed it by blushing and looking away.

"Great Celestia," Snips gasped. "You are! Why?"

"I just want to know what it's like to be pretty," Snails said, tears welling in eyes. He couldn't even meet his friend in the eyes.

"Pretty," Snips parroted. "You mean like all that girly gala junk?"

"Mm-hmm," Snails nodded.

"But we're colts, Snails," Snips said. "Colts don't do 'pretty', especially not us. 'Pretty' is mare stuff."

"But I WANT to do pretty," Snails snapped. "I want to BE pretty. But, just look at me. Everypony thinks I'm dumb. I'm messy, and dirty. How can this”, he gestured to himself, “possibly look like this,” Snails pulled a rolled up poster from under his bed, and unrolled it, showing a glamor shot of last year's winner- Summer Autumn, “possibly look like this!?”

Unsure of what to say, Snips backed away to the door, and unlocked it.

"I need to think about this," Snips said quietly, his brain still trying to process what he'd just saw and seen.

"Wait, Snips," Snails called out. He tried to reach over to him, but wound up tripping over his "dress".

"I won't tell," Snips said as he walked out. "But, for now, I think you may want to.... clean up.”

With that, he walked out, closing the door behind him

Author's Note

This is a bit of a personal piece for me, because I was Snails growing up; I'm sure many of us were. I was one of the few boys in my small private school, who was into girly things. And I often thought of getting done up in girl stuff, but rejected it for the same reasons Snails hasn't "come out of the closet" so to speak. Anyways. Hope you like it. Feel Free to Critique and comment. :)

A Hair Brained Solution

It had been a week since that encounter. The two colts hadn't spoken to each other in that time; they still exchanged a quick greeting, but they didn't hang out or anything like that. They could barely even look each other in the eye, before either one looked away- usually Snips. Ms Cherilee, being the astute teacher that she was, knew something was wrong, as did the colt's parents. They each asked and prodded, what was wrong, but they kept avoiding them, saying it was nothing. The adults stood by, feeling helpless to help their foals. Soon, the entire town began to fall into a mysterious somber air, as mares and stallions alike discussed in whispers to each other. It was rumors, and speculation, of course. However, each theorized issue was accompanied by suggested issues. Maybe they'd hit that age where young colts fillies in that way, or maybe- just maybe- they discovered each other? What would their parents think? Perhaps they just had a spat, where they said hurtful things without meaning it- like all foals did.

One could hear the entire town sigh in relief when Snips appeared on Snails' patio. The dull teal colt gently knocked on the door. It opened to reveal a light- almost pale- yellow orange Unicorn mare. She had striking coal black eyes, a beautifully kept blue green mane in curls that would remind him of Rarity. It was Snails' mom, Sweetheart. Her coal black eyes stared at that the little colt that stood before her. The one colt in town who held the key to her son's somber mood, and hopefully the solution- literally; he had a pair of saddle bags hanging over his back. She was so happy to see him show up on her front step, she could hold the huge sigh of relief that welled in her chest when this “fall out” had started.

“Hey, Mrs. J,” Snips smiled awkwardly.

“Snips,” Mrs. J beamed. “It's so wonderful to see you around here again!”

“Thanks,” Snips said, rubbing his hoof to the back of his head. “Uh...”

“He's up in his room, dear,” Sweetheart smiled. “You go right up, and I'll make you some iced tea.”

Thanks, Snips grinned as he galloped in, and towards the stairs, as Sweetheart giggled her on her way to the kitchen. He stopped midway and called out to his friend's mother. “Mrs. J?”

“Yes,” came the familiar sing song voice.

“Can you leave it down here,” Snips asked. “I think we're gonna need to talk alone.”

“Oh,” Sweetheart are responded, poking her head out of the kitchen doorway. “Oh, of course. I'll just leave it in the fridge- you can come down and have some when you want.”

“Thanks,” Snips called out as he hurried up the stairs.

When he got to the door, he screeched to a halt, and made sure to knock. Nothing. He knocked again, a little harder this time. He was already trying to deal with what happened last time he barged in without knocking; he didn't want to make this situation even worse than it was. Still nothing. Snips put his ear to the door, and knocked again, just a little louder, still.

“Snails,” Snips called out. “Snails? It's me, dude!”

Snails, as fate's often cruel sense of humor would have it, was just cleaning off the last of his make up, and turning his room back to the usual mess it was, when the knocking came. The poor colt froze in panic. Was it his mom? Did Snips actually tell somepony- even after he Pinkie Promised?

NO PONY BREAKS A PINKIE PROMISE!!!

The knock came again, this time a little louder. Not wanting to make too much of a commotion, Snails telekinetically wiped his face off with a damp rag, and stashed it-and his makeshift makeup kid under his bed. The knocking returned, even louder. He was sure it was his mom coming to check up on him, and focused his magic on the doorknob. He paused when he heard Snips' voice calling out to him. He didn't expect Snips to be back so soon. Should he be relieved, scared?

Scarelieved?

Snails opened the door to see that it was indeed his friend- his only friend. Without sharing a word, Snips walked in, closed the door behind him, and threw himself into his much taller friend in a hug, which he returned. Even though they hadn't talked to each other for a week, it felt like it had been months, and they felt the barrier that let build up between them. The two stayed like that for a few minutes, tears welling in their eyes. They'd never admit it, or show it in public, but they cherished their friendship as much as the Element bearers, or the Cutie Mark Crusaders- or maybe even more; Each element had 5 friends in each other, the CMC's had two friends in each other. These two colts were all they had. While they never talked about it, they felt it was because of the way they looked in comparison to the others- they were all each other had.

“So, are we good,” Snips asked, breaking the embrace.

“I hope so,” Snails answered.

“You still into all that mare stuff,” Snips asked.

“Yeah,” Snails answered, becoming defensive, a single eye squinting at him.

“Figured,” Snips sighed, as he shrugged off his saddlebags, and pointed at the mirror. One held a pair of hair clippers, a comb, and a neatly folded sheet. The other was filled with hair- mane hair, of different colors and length.

“Take a seat,” he instructed.

Confused, Snails plopped himself on his rear, looking into the mirror, expectantly. Using his own magic, he pulled out the sheet and draped over Snails' body and tied it around his neck. Snips' hair clippings flowed out of his bag and started flying around the room. Snails stared into the mirror at his friend with wide eyed amazement, as Snips closed his eyes concentrated, his horn starting to glow brighter and spark. The short hairs started weaving themselves into some sort of fine mesh net as the longer hairs weaved themselves, into it. Soon, a wig of mismatched hair. Before Snails could say anything, Snips plopped it down on his friend's head.

Snips then tried to get a look at his creation from behind, but he was still too short. Looking around he saw some wooden boxes with various toys and and action figures in them. He quickly overturned one, and placed it right behind Snails. The box helped, but not by much; it would have to do, though. He levitated his comb and clippers over to him. Using his comb and magic, Snips collected Snail's mane and tucked it neatly under the wig. Snails watched in wonder and amazement as his friend guided his clippers and comb through the frizzed mess of a wig, and shaped it into a lovely collection of curls, that hung down over his shoulder- pausing here and there to take a few a few peeks from behind Snails to get a good look at what he was doing. His barber's sheet as covered in hair as was he- not that he minded though. Hey may not be smarty like Twilight, be he could cut a mean mane! Still, why was there something nipping at the back of his mind? Had he forgotten something? If he did, he couldn't remember what.

“Oh wow,” Snails gasped, admiring what his friend created in front of his eyes. “Snips. I knew you were good with hair, but- but this~!”

“Eh... It was supposed to be a toupee' spell for my dad,” Snips smiled modestly. “You really think it's that good?”

'”That good',” Snails parroted, “You should be working with Rarity! This is- It's just amazing!”

“Aw,” Snips kicked his hoof. “Really?”

“Really,” Snails answered with an emphatic nod. “But...”

“But,” Snips asked.

“Well,” Snails faltered. “It's just-”

Before Snails could finish, Snails realized what he was going to say.

“Gah,” he groaned to himself. “I knew was forgetting something! Its a new spell I learned.”

Snips closed his eyes to concentrate as his horn started to glow, and got brighter and brighter. Just as it looked like it was about to explode, he touched his horn to the wig he made. Magic rippled through the hairpiece, turning it from the ugly mishmash of random colors, to the same shade of green as Snails' natural mane color. The wig dropped back into place, his locks locked into the same stylish curls it had before the change.

Exhausted, Snips stumbled back forgetting he was on a box. He landed with a thud, which Sweetheart below dismissed as random roughhousing as the two normally did- convinced that everything was getting back to normal. Her thoughts were interrupted by the door slamming open.

Meanwhile Snails, still in his wig, was helping his friend get back on his hooves.

“Whoo,” Snips sighed. “I gotta practice more. So you like?”

“Oh, yes, yes yes yes yes,” Snails beamed. “Thank you, so much!”

He yanked Snips in for another hug, but this time he pushed away.

“Hey,” he protested. “We already had our mushy moment for the day!”

“Yeah, but we're short by seven,” Snails said, still hugging. “You still owe me 7 more.”

Snips didn't say anything, but just chuckled. That is, until he heard heavy footsteps, and a deep, booming voice singing. Snails' Dad was home! And he was heading up stairs. In a panic, The boys swept their marish effects under Snails' bed, and the wig under Snails' sheets. Snips quickly jumped on Snails, pushing him to the ground just as a strong, but gentle knock sounded at the door.

“It's open, Papa,” Snails answered, trying to pry his friend off of him.

The door swung open, and where just about every pony that wasn't Snails, his mom, Snails, nor his family expected to find a lanky, awkward stallion, stood, a triumphant, majestic Griffon!

Author's Note

Yes, we're still in a flashback, but we're almost done with it. The next update will move forward in the story proper

Seriously, though. How does she DO that!? o.0

Do what?

0.0

Secrets

The two Colts stopped rolling and looked up at the Griffon at the doorway. He wore a red and blue plaid shirt that seemed a size or two too small. He wore a green knit cap, and a thick, black handle bar mustache. His chest, while feathered, was easily identified as a “barrel chest”. His arms' muscles bulged with muscles that came partly from regular heavy lifting, and body building. His name was Lumbre Jacques, and despite being a griffon, he was Snails' Father.

“Mon fils, Lumbre exclaimed as he leaned in and flopped himself on the two colts, playfully pinning them under his weight.

“Papa,” Snails giggled as he flailed his forelegs.

“Hey Mr, J,” Snips laughed as he flailed his chubby legs.

Snips managed to pull himself free, but pulled so hard, he sent himself tumbling towards Snails' Bed. It shook and jumped in recoil, giving Lumbre a flash of long, teal hairs, and makeshift pallet of colors that reminded him of his wife's lipstick and and eyeshadow. The two saw Lumbre squint his eyes in confusion, and knew what he must have seen. Thinking fast, Snips got back on his hooves, hopped on the bed and used it as a springboard to launch himself onto Snails' father.

“FLYING SUPLEX,” he yelled as he plopped down on Lumbre's face, cling into to it.

Not knowing what else to do, Snails pulled himself free from under his father. Dancing on his hooves, he frantically looked around looking for an inspiration on what to do. His eyes soon focused on Snips, who nodded towards the bed, and his saddlebags- five times before the message had finally gotten through. Snips nodded in understanding, and used his magic to gather everything and stuffed it into his friend's bag. Snips sighed in relief before he realized that that Lumbre was starting to pull him off.

“Tag team,” he yelled. “Tag team!”

“Yaaaah,” Snails yelled as he jumped on his father, his weight just enough to knock him flat.

Snails gathered his father's wings and tried to hold them together in a lock.

Surprisingly, Lumbre's back arched his back under his son, and started to slam his powerful talons on the floor.

“Uncle, Uncle,” he shouted, muffled in Snip's belly.

The two colts let go and got off of him. Before Lumbre could congratulate the boys, Snips made a quick excuse about how he couldn't stay long, and had to go, which he did- quickly. Father and son waved good bye, as he hurried off towards his home. Lumbre asked if if everything was okay, and Snails kept telling him it was. He knew from looking at his father, that he wasn't all convinced, but was relieved when he relented, and dropped the issue. Instead, he dropped himself onto his son, and started wrestling with him all over again.

The next day, things were fine between the two colts. They ran here and there, from one part of the peaceful little village, getting into mischief, as all foals did. To look at them, you couldn't even tell anything had happened between the two. Drudging through the local bogs, to play with the baby frogs, chasing the glow of fireflies at night, knocking over the occasional stand, or cart. Sure they got flack for their misadventures, but everything worked in the end.

Then, the Ponyville beauty contests popping up. They weren't the high end affairs one would hear about in Canterlot or Manehattan, but rather they were local. Only Ponyville residents registered with the mayor could enter. That's when the lulls in Snips' and Snails' activity started to happen. The two colts would rarely be seen running around in their usual vigor. Snails would stay in his room more and more often, with Snips coming over every other day or so. The town ponies didn't really seem to notice. If they did, they didn't pay it mind; they just enjoyed having that less of a hassle to worry about. Of course, Sweetheart was the first to know that something was wrong with her son; her husband wasn't that far behind. Snails' parents noticed around the same time as the Jacques family, but since this is Snails' story, we're gonna say his parents noticed first. The two colts were questioned and hounded, by their parents as to what the issue was. The two knew their parents were asking about it out of concern- they would go on about how concerned they were whenever they brought the subject up again. The concerned parents soon realized that the more forceful, and incessant they got, the more the two distanced themselves from them.

It all came to a halt one early Autumn day as Lumbre caught his wife knocking on his son's door, calling out to him to open up and talk about what was bothering him.

“Mon Cheri,” he said softly, his deep voice accentuated with a slight French accent. “I think we've pestered them enough.”

“But,” Sweetheart started.

“Non,” the griffon interrupted, shaking his head. If they have gone this long, I do not believe that they will be willing to open up to us any time soon.” His wife opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off again, as he held up a single talon. “Nor, do I believe that pestering them as we have is helping anything.”

“But, I worry about them,” Sweetheart pleaded. “We always tell them that they can trust us. That they can come to us about anything.”

“I know,” Sweetie, Lumbre nodded, pulling his wife in for a hug. “And so do they. If they're going to trust us, we're just going to have to trust them, too. They'll tells us when they're ready.”

“But what if they're being teased again,” Sweetheart pleaded. “What if somepony's been hurting them? What if-”

“Honey,” Lumbre soothed. “Shh...”

Snails could hear the hoof steps of his parents as they they walked off, and the sound small, almost impossible to hear sobs. The two Colts, one in his “make up”, and the other levitating a brush and comb as he he settled a wig in place on his friend's head, sat there, and looked at each other. They hated making their parents worry so much. They even tried to work up the courage to talk to them about their secrets, but their mouths ran dry every time they tried to bring it up. Try as the two colts tried, they just couldn't tell them, and the reason for that was quite simple.

They were afraid. They were afraid of how their parents might react. Sure they were cool (as far as parents go), and they gave them the whole “come to use about anything, and we'll still love you” speech- numerous times. They didn't know a single filly nor colt from school who didn't have that talk with their parents; even Mrs. Cherilee told them this. Their brains told them they had good and loving parents, but something cold, and heavy clung to their hearts, and they always found themselves having having different forms of the same conversation.

“Snails,” Snips started.

“Snips, no,” Snails emphasized.

“Dude, we can't keep this up forever, you know,” Snips pointed out as he continued to groom the hairpiece he created.

“I know,” Snails responded after a pause, in a small, scared voice.

“If they don't figure it out,” Snips continued, staring into the mirror as he completed his work. “They're gonna catch us. They always do, and I don't think they're gonna like it.”

“I know,” Snails repeated in the same voice. But what do we do?

I dunno, Snips said, but we gotta think of something. We don't wanna end up like-” Snips caught himself, and paused before continuing. “Him.”

Snails knew he was talking about. He only responded with a slight nod, and two words: “Touch Down”

*******

Touch Down was a a typical brown fur and maned colt who foal sat for them- the same way Princess Cadence did with Princess Twilight. He was like an older brother to them. He took them out local games, took them out for ice cream, all typical cool big bro stuff. To them, he was the epitome of cool, but he had a secret- one that he was afraid to tell anypony. It happened a good while but they could still remember the parts they saw and heard. They only saw Touch Down's dad lead him into a room, and close the door. It had been barely a minute before the entire complex shook with a mighty bellow. They could only see a visibly shaken and upset Touch Down back out of the room, cowering in front of the older, larger stallion in front of him. He looked like Touch Down, except his coat and mane sere white and black respectively.

“B-but, Dad,” Touch Down stammered. “You- you said, you wouldn't get mad. You said you'd under-”

“Buck that, boy,” his father shouted. “And don't you EVER call me 'Dad' again!”

“But, I'm you're son,” Touch Down countered.

At this, his father lowered his head so that his warped scowl of a face was practically nose to nose with him.

“No you're not,” he growled. “I HAVE no son! Especially not some- some”, he spit the last two out like he'd kissed a lemon, “Colt Cuddler! Now Get out.”

“B-but-”

“OOOOOUUUUUT!!!”

With a confused, and scared whimper, Touch Down bolted. He ran out the door, with Snips and Snails right behind him, scared of the savage beast that had taken the place of Touch Down's father- just like he was. Unlike the two colts, however, Touch down never stopped running, and was never seen nor heard from again- at least not in Ponyville. While that incident scared them, what scared them most was how Touch Down's father just went back to his normal life- as if nothing happened, as if he never even had a son, let alone kick him out on his flank. He never even spoke about him again. What scared Snails in particular was how much he and his own father acted alike.

**********

“I know, Snips,” Snails said. “I know. It's just... How do I even explain something like THIS,” he pointed a hoof at his reflection, “to my dad?”

Author's Note

Touch Down's story is something that always bugged me. You trust your parents to be there for you, to love you no matter what. However, there are so many parents who betray that trust, that bond as if it were nothing, and the child's fault. These parents are the reason why so many good parents have trouble getting their kids to be honest with them. I have absolutely no patience, nor sympathy for such disgraces to the names "Mom" and "Dad".

Well, It's way past late, and I'm sleepy. Night.