Be Careful What You Wish For

Be Careful what you wish for

Chapter 9 – ‘Love and Loyalty’

I looked up at the clock.  There was another thirty minutes and then I could take a lunch.  Normally I wouldn’t be counting down, but I had ended up oversleeping this morning.  The end result was that I didn’t have enough time for breakfast.  Instead I had just enough time to get dressed, get out of the house, and get to work.  I felt my stomach reminding me of its empty state again and let out a low groan.

“Excuse me, but I heard that there would be some home theaters coming in soon.  I wanted to know if they had arrived yet,” a familiar voice asked.

I looked down to see Love Tap.  I smiled, grabbed a binder that Mr. Rich had placed by everypony, and opened it up for her.  The VHS players and Televisions were on the way.  They had passed the initial testing phase, which according to rumors meant both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna had played around with it and decided that it was indeed wonderful, and they were on their way to being distributed.  Love Tap began flipping pages and I watched as she stopped on a page that had a fifty-two inch television.  She studied it for a moment, and then she flipped back through the binder before handing it back to me.

“Chip is so interested in the idea of having a theater at home, and I like it too.  It would be nice to invite friends over to watch a movie with us.  I like the larger screen, but I think that the midsize one is the one that would be the easiest for us to buy,” she said.

“You know if you want the larger size you can put it on lay-a-way.  Mr. Rich will let you pay it out,” I said.

She seemed to consider it for a moment.

“Let me talk to Chip and see if that’s something he would like to do,” she said.

I nodded and handed her a flyer.  She looked at it and then back up at me.

“Mr. Rich is going to have a free demonstration of the equipment tomorrow, after five, and show a full movie.  There’s going to be hayburgers, hayfries, Zap Apple Pies, and some fish bites.  He wants to give everypony a chance to really experience what this technology could do,” I said.

She nodded and trotted off with the flyer.  I looked at the tally sheet sitting beside me.  Sure, I was mainly here to repair the technology, but if there was the potential to make a sale I was expected to make it.  So far I had fifteen confirmed pre-purchases for the VHS players/recorders and televisions.  I wasn’t trying to sale anything that I felt somepony couldn’t afford.  I didn’t like doing that back on Earth, and here Filthy Rich actually discouraged that kind of tactic.  He encouraged us to sale within the customer’s means and later if they had the extra to get something more expensive they would.

I thought it was a hell of a lot more fair, and it didn’t seem to cause us to lose any customers.  My thoughts on Filthy Rich’s business practices soon came and went as the minutes ticked by.  Finally lunch came around and I walked outside of the store.  Usually Lyra and I would meet for lunch, and we’d either eat at a small café or we’d go back home and fix something there, but she had told me that Derpy had asked her to come with her to the spa today.  She wanted to thank us both for having Sparkler’s party, and while I couldn’t go I didn’t see any reason why Lyra couldn’t enjoy getting a little pampered.

That meant today I was on my own.  I started walking toward the café I normally ate at with Lyra when I noticed a new store opening.  I looked at it for a moment and then walked over to it and looked at the name of the store.

“Enchanted Videos,” I read as I looked at the sign.

Louis had sent everything I asked him too, including my bottle of Captain Morgan, and a bottle of what he called ‘Real Rum’.  I had put both bottles up with the plan of enjoying one with Lyra, and most likely gifting the Captain Morgan to someone else.  Still, among everything that was sent to me was my parents old forty – six inch television and VHS player.  It was one of the few things I had kept after they passed, and from what I could remember from the gateway I knew that the television should work without any problem.  The VHS player should work, but just on off chance Lyra went ahead and did an enchantment on it.

There had been a couple of movies, but nothing I really wanted to start us off with.  I wanted to give Lyra a movie she would really enjoy, and that meant watching something that was still considered to be amazing.  I made my decision and walked into the store.  It smelled like fresh popped buttery popcorn.  The scent lingered in the air, and I couldn’t help but think about all of the old video rental places I had went to when I was a kid.

I could still remember the smell of Poppin’ Fresh Theater Style Popcorn lingering around inside of those places as I walked through the rental places with my parents.  I looked around the video store as the memory flooded my senses.  It was almost as if I could see my seven year old self walking beside my parents, heading over to the newest releases, and seeing what we could watch as a family.  I stopped and looked at the movies on display.  Beside each of the movies there was a place holder for the ponified version that would be coming out soon.  I looked over the movies until I finally saw something that I really thought Lyra would enjoy.

The memories of watching The Princess Bride brought a smile to my face.  I had loved the movie when I was younger, and I had a feeling that Lyra would really enjoy it as well.  I took the video cassette up to the counter and looked at the unicorn working there.  He grinned at me and I felt the cassette lift out of my hands, it glowed a bright green for a moment, and then he placed it into a brown paper bag.

“That’s a wonderful story you’ve chosen,” he said.

“Thanks, how much do I owe you Mr…  You know I don’t know your name,” I said.

“Just call me Dusk.  That’s what all of my friends call me, and well, I like to think of my customers as my friends,” the dark Lavender unicorn stallion said.

“Thanks Dusk, so how much do I owe you?” I asked.

“That will be fifteen bits,” he replied.

I fished out the bits, handed them over to him, and watched as he put them away.  He floated the brown paper bag with my movie over to me and gave me a slight nod.

“Don’t be a stranger,” he said.

I nodded and walked out of the building.  I felt the comfortable weight of the bagged video cassette in my hand.  I quickly pulled out my pocket watch and noticed that I still had some time for lunch.  I quick glance around told me that going to the café would be out of the question.  It was busy, and there was no way I had time to run home to get something to eat.  Another quick look and I noticed the market place.

I knew that I really needed to eat something other than just something sweet, but there wasn’t too many choices.  I looked toward Mac’s Apple cart, but the line was extremely long, and I didn’t have that kind of time.  Instead I noticed Carrot Top.  I walked toward her stand and smelled the air.  She had carrot cakes, carrot salads, raw carrots, and a thin soup.

“What would you like?” she asked.

I studied the foods available, and quickly decided on a bowl of the soup a piece of carrot cake.  She dipped out a couple of lattles of the soup and placed a piece of the carrot cake on a napkin.  I thanked her, quickly drained the soup, which was surprisingly good.  It was crème carrots in rich butter sauce.  It was thicker than I had thought, but not so thick that I couldn’t enjoy it.  I gave her back her bowl, which she promptly put into a container for, and then I took the first bite of the carrot cake.

I had been told that Sugarcube Corner was the go to place for sweets.  That nothing could even come close to matching their cupcakes, cakes, or other deserts.  Oh, that was wrong.  Sugarcube corner was indeed fantastic, but the carrot cake I currently found myself eating was made to perfection.

It was moist, not wet, just moist.  The flavor had a hint of cinnomen, sugar, and coconut mixed with the carrot.  The buttercream frosting didn’t have the sickening sweet taste of mass produced deserts.  It tasted completely homemade.

“Lyra would love this,” I said.

“Yeah, her and Bon Bon used to buy an entire carrot cake for the weekend.  Of course she hasn’t eaten one since Bonny up and left.  Say, you’re her new coltfriend right?” Carrot asked.

“Yeah, I’m Don,” I said sticking out my hand.

“Don.  It’s a good name, a little strange, but then you humans all have slightly funny names.  Like Berry’s coltfriend.  His name’s Terrance.  Still, damn good stallion, or ummmm… man, he’s accepted little Berry Pinch as his own daughter.  I was kind of afraid that Berry wasn’t going to find anyone.  What with her relationship with Shaken Spur going south like did it,” she said.

I watched as she shook her head.

“I swear you’d never meet a shorter tempered stallion.  He was constantly flying off of the handle at the smallest things.  I guess that the arguments got too much for her, and Berry told him that they were done.  It was the best thing in world for her though.  She met her husband about a year ago,” Carrot said.

“Glad to hear it,” I said.

“Say, how about I make you and Lyra a carrot cake?” she asked.

“Uh what?” I asked.

“A carrot cake.  Seriously, I’d love to make one for you two, and maybe it would make Lyra smile a little bit.  Besides, I do miss talking to her,” Carrot said.

“Sure, but if this goes south I didn’t ask for it,” I said.

“How could this go south?  Everypony loves sweets,” Carrot Top said.

There was a dozen thoughts about how it could south in a hurry.  I had never really dated anyone before, but I had heard stories about how someone had made the mistake of doing something or buying something that someone’s ex had done or bought before.  It seemed foolish, but those hurt feelings, from what I heard, seemed to boil up and cause a fight.  That was something I wanted to stay away from.  I didn’t want to fight with Lyra.  I was happy, and I really wanted to remain happy.

Still, if carrot cake had been a favorite desert of hers then it wouldn’t hurt to share it with her.  I could always make the argument that this was so we could create a new memory with it.  It made sense, or at least it did in my head.  The decision to go ahead and give Carrot Top the okay with making the cake seemed to be setting better.  It would be a chance to do something special for Lyra, and at the same time it would be helping to create a new memory with her.  That was something I wanted to do anyway.

“Carrot, why don’t you bring the cake over tonight?  I picked up a movie, and I thought that we could invite a few friends over to watch it with us,” I said.

She practically beamed as she heard that.  I watched as she walked around the cart, stood on her hind legs, and pulled me into a tight hug.  I returned it and then let go.  I stepped back and checked my watch.  My eyes bulged as I realized that I had to be clocked back in about four minutes.  I gave her wave, and she returned it.  From there I ran straight back to work.

The rest of the day passed fairly uneventfully.  I had to fix a dozen or so cassette players, at least forty cassette tapes, and then I had to explain the differences between the different models of televisions.  It wasn’t hard work, but some of the ponies just didn’t quite grasp why RCA was so much cheaper than Soni, and then there was the questions about the three in one cabinets.

These things had been the bane of existence in an untold number of men’s lives back in the 1970’s and 80’s.  Huge cabinets that usually had a thirty-eight inch screen, record player, Stereo 8 player, and of course a RF adapter port for Nintari’s Home Entertainment System.  I was sure that eventually the home video game system would make it over, and these cabinet Televisions would be selling even faster than they were right now.  The last pony to look at one, and decide on it, was a white unicorn that I knew all too well.  In fact, she was the last customer of mine for the day and I watched as she mulled over the decision for a while.  Finally she let out a sigh and looked up at me.

“I really wish that Octi was here for this,” she said.

“Where is Octavia?” I asked.

Vinyl Scratch reached into the saddle bags she was wearing and pulled out a picture of Octavia playing along with both of the members of 2 cellos.  I really shouldn’t have been surprised.

“She had this huge opportunity, and you know I didn’t want her to pass it up.  She’s like a sister to me, and I want her to be happy.  Still, it makes decisions like this a serious pain,” she said.

“Well, I’m not sure what you want to spend, but I can tell you that the turntable in the cabinet is pretty decent, but it’s not mixing decent.  It’s more along the lines of straight listening.  You can do some mixing with it, but it sound really retro with the speaker system the cabinet has.  Now, that said the cabinets do have some built in features such as the stereo 8 player.  Then again there’s every chance in the world that you already have one,” I said.

She nodded and looked at the television again.

“Then Vinyl, seriously, why don’t you look at a regular television and a VHS player.  There’s really no reason to get one of these things unless you really just want to combine three or four things,” I said.

She looked at a regular set and then back at the cabinet.

“I’ll take the cabinet,” she said.

“You sure?” I asked.

“Yeah, Octi likes to listen to her classical music, and this will give her a turntable to do it on, and it will actually match a lot of our furniture,” she stated.

I shrugged my shoulders and rung her up.  She paid for it, and I called up a couple of our delivery stallions.  They looked at the sale, groaned, and went to working on moving the heavy piece of entertainment furniture.  I watched them both feeling bad about it going down like this, but then again it was just one of those things.  I checked my watch and smiled.  It was time to clock out, head home, and present Lyra with what I figured would be a very welcomed gift.

I walked to the back, clocked out with the manual time clock, and walked to my locker.  It didn’t take very long at all until I was out the front doors and heading back home.  When I got home I helped work the bar for a couple of hours.  There was the normal crowd there, and it wasn’t absolutely slow, but then again this wasn’t the busiest that I’d see the place either.  Finally, after about two and half hours Lyra gave the final call, and she told everypony that she was closing the bar for the night.  Most of them nodded and left without a problem.

“So, what are we doing tonight?” she asked.

I grinned as I grabbed the brown paper sack from under the bar and pulled it out.  I opened it and revealed the movie I had picked up.

“I thought that we could invite a few friends over, and watch a movie together.  I can set up the Television and VHS down here.  It should give us plenty of room to move around with,” I said.

She nodded, and the sound of someone knocking came from the door.  I went and opened it to see Carrot Top coming in with the cake.  I wasn’t sure why, but I had been expecting to see a normal sized cake.  What Carrot Top brought in was full sheet carrot cake.  It was huge, and I honestly wondered exactly how Lyra and I were going to eat it all.

Lyra looked at it and then at me.  A moment later another knock came and I opened it to see Derpy.

“I got a foal sitter to watch Dinky, and I thought that I might ask Carrot Top if she wanted to go do something, but she was gone.  So I thought about asking if you two wanted to do something, and HEY CARROT TOP!” she exclaimed.

Carrot Top smiled and looked at Derpy.

“Derpy, how are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m okay, say, what are all of you doing?” she asked.

“Well, Don got a movie for us to watch on our home theater,” Lyra said.

“That sounds like fun!” she exclaimed.

“Would you like to watch it with us?” I asked.

She nodded and I grabbed another chair.  A moment later something flashed and we saw Fluttershy and Discord.  Fluttershy looked a little confused at first and then looked at Discord.

“Discord, where we are?” she asked.

“Why we’re among friends, and I’m sure that they wanted to invite us to do whatever it is that they’re doing,” he said.

“We were just getting ready to watch a movie,” Lyra said.

“Which movie?” Discord asked.

“What he means is that sounds like fun, and could we maybe watch it with you if you don’t mind?” Fluttershy asked.

Sure, it’s not a problem,” I said.

We got the seats together and I walked up the stairs and grabbed the VHS player and Television.  As I carried it down I remembered how bulky and heavy these old televisions could be.  I nearly dropped both of them, but eventually I made it down and set it up on the bar.  I quickly got it all hooked up and plugged it in.  Once everything was hooked up I turned on the television and watched as it the screen showed the standard snow that usually accompanied turning on a set.  I turned on the VHS player and watched as the screen turned to a light green one.  I wondered if it was like that because of Lyra’s enchantment, but after a moment I pushed it out of my mind.

I opened the hard plastic case around the movie and pulled it out.  I slipped it into the player and the first thing that popped up was the normal movie trailers that usually came with these things.  The ponified version of Ghostbusters was first, and then it was Return to the Crystal Kingdom.  We had nearly went and watched that at the theater.  I grinned and watched as the movie started.  Suddenly a bright golden light began to stretch out of the television.  I backed up as it began to engulf all of us and a moment later I was looking around in confusion.

“What in the hell?” I asked.

“Don!” Lyra’s voice called.

I turned to see her walking toward me.  She was wearing a very familiar dress, and that’s where it occurred to me what was going on.  Somehow we were inside of the movie.

“Why do I want to call you farm boy?” she asked.

“It’s because we’re in the movie,” I replied.

“Really?  Wow, this place is beautiful,” she said.

She looked at a saddle hanging up and smiled at me.

“Farm Boy, polish my saddle,” she said.

“As you wish,” I said.

I walked over to it and found a clean rag.  Taking care I lifted the saddle down and dipped the rag into a small bowl that was filled with scented oil.  I worked it into the saddle, and as I worked I wondered how it was that my hands somehow knew what to do.  I had never done this before in my life, but for some reason I seemed to know exactly how to polish a saddle in such a way that not only made it shine, but rejuvenated the leather.

Lyra watched me as I did my work.  I wanted to do more than that, but something kept me grounded.  It was like a voice inside of me telling me that she was too far above me.  I couldn’t reach her unless she gave me a sign that she wanted me.  The days passed much like this.  Lyra would demand something of me, and I’d happily do it.  Finally after what seemed like a month she walked up to me, stood on her hind legs, and leaned against me.  I felt the warmth of her breath as she nuzzled my neck.

“I love you Westley,” she said.

“I love you too Buttercup,” I replied.

I had wanted to say Lyra, and I can only assume that she wanted to say Don.  Regardless we moved toward each other and kissed deeply.  It was a heaven sent.  I had missed the feeling of my marefriend’s lips upon my own.  I pulled her closer and the both of us let out a sigh.

The days passed quicker than I would like from there.  We worked together, but still I wouldn’t do more than kiss her.  After another month I held her against me.

“I have to go Buttercup.  Here, I have no way to make the kind of living that you deserve.  I need to travel across the sea and start there.  I need to set things into motion that will ensure that we’re doing better than just getting by.  I want to give you the kind of life that I know you deserve, and I want our children to come into this world wanting nothing,” I said.

“I won’t stop you, but please Westley, come back to me.  It would kill me if I were to lose you,” she replied.

I nodded and left.

Lyra’s P.O.V.

I watched Don as he left.  I had wanted to call him Westley, and there was more than a couple of times I wanted him to ravage me to no end.  We had been together for nearly two months without actually being together.  I shook my head and watched Don disappear in the distance.  I didn’t like this.  I didn’t like this at all.  It reminded me far too much of when Bonny had left me.  Before I had lost myself in taking pictures of the human and pony couples around the area, but now I was just so completely lost.

I didn’t have a camera, there wasn’t anypony around to watch or take pictures of, and I didn’t even have my bar to run.  Instead I looked at the modest farm I was on.  Sweet Apple Acres was far larger than this place.  It completely dwarfed this small homestead.  Still there had to be something that I could do here to keep me from feeling so isolated and lonely.  I walked out to the shed that acted like a barn and saw a single cow.

“How are you doing?” I asked.

The pregnant heifer turned around and began lowing.  I expected some kind of answer.  After all the cows in Equestria could talk, but this one didn’t say a word.  Instead it merely mooed and continued lowing. I saw a bucket hanging up and looked back at the cow.  I walked toward the bucket and focused on it.

I stood looking at that stupid bucket for ten minutes and nothing happened.  I couldn’t move it, I couldn’t lift it, and I couldn’t blast it to pieces with my magic.  Suddenly I found myself in a very odd situation.  I didn’t have my magic.  I prayed that I was wrong and tried to focus my magic into a hand shape.  There wasn’t even a spark from my horn.  I fell to the ground stunned.

“No, nononononono NO!” I shouted as I tried it again.

After four hours of realizing that I didn’t have magic, and that if I wanted to eat, drink, or anything else I was doing it the Earth Pony way I found myself crying.  I had never been without my magic.  Even as a baby I had the ability to use my magic, and actually my mom had told me that I was more than a handful when I would magically spike from time to time.  Instead now… Now I couldn’t even begin to focus my magic.  It was well after dark before I fully accepted that I couldn’t use my magic.

When I left the shed it became apparent that I was going to have to get something to eat.  I walked into the small farm house, looked at the food, and realized the work I had in store for me.  I began to gather the ingredients for a sparse supper and set to work.  It wasn’t as if I’ve ever cooked before.  I cooked each night, but I was so used to using my magic.  I was used to being able to manipulate everything around me, and now I was finding how hard it was to everything in a normal sense.  I stoked the fire in the fireplace and sat out the grill on it.  I nearly burned myself and cursed my carelessness.  I had to do things far more carefully.  I couldn’t just go about this like a silly little filly.

This began a daily ritual that I followed for the following month.  I would cook, learning how to do everything like an Earth Pony, and I soon learned that there was horses, actual horses, in this place that were not sapient beings.  When I realized that they were like the cows I began to understand more about Don’s culture, or what it had been.

Still, I couldn’t bring myself to ride one of them.  It felt… weird trying to.  It was almost as if I was cheating on Don when I climbed on the back of the large brown stallion.  I knew he wouldn’t think of it like that, but it felt that way.  I went out to milk the cow which I decided to name Bonny, for various reasons, and that’s when the one neighbor in three miles came to the house.

She was a plump human, with a heart shaped face.  Her cheeks were always rosy, and she was always pleasant.  She walked up to our door and knocked.  I watched as this pleasant, sweet, and normally wonderful woman began to fall apart.  She cried out and pulled me into a hug, one I returned happily, and she began telling me that there is always a reason for terrible things to happen.  I was ready to tell her that no matter what it was I would be there to help her when she looked into my eyes and I felt a fear I had never known shake me.  Tears began to well up in my eyes, and an understanding draped over me like a warm blanket.

She wasn’t here to have a friend tell her that everything would be fine.  She wasn’t here to listen to me inform her that everything would work out.  She was here because something bad had happened, but she was here for me.

“Westley, what happened to my Westley?” I asked.

My voice trembled with the fear I felt flooding through me.  Part of me wanted to run away from the news.  I wanted go away from here, away from all of this, and simply disappear.  But that part of me was weaker than the part of me that loved Don.  Fear in this instance meant nothing to me.  It would not keep me from hearing about Don.

“My child, the royal port master sent word.  He traveled to our house believing it yours, and he left word that…  Child I am so sorry, but Westley’s ship never made it.  It was overtaken by the Dread Pirate Roberts,” she said.

“There’s not even a chance he could bartered for is there?” I asked.

“No child, the Dread Pirate Roberts never leaves any survivors.  I’m truly sorry my child.  Know that I am here for you if you need me,” she said.

I barely spoke with her after that.  I knew she was honest in what she said. She would be here for me, but it didn’t really matter.  Don was gone.  I didn’t know how these things worked here, but one thing she did know, and it was something Don had told her once.  Humans didn’t have magic in their world.  It wasn’t like he could do what some of the old legends had done in her world.  He couldn’t beat death.  I felt myself fall into despair and I didn’t want anything.  Food, water, speaking, none of it matter to me now.

For days I sat alone in the small room I had claimed as my own.  Finally, after a week a messenger came to the house.  He informed me that Prince Humperdinck had heard of me from the locals and wished to meet with me.  I followed him, even though I really had no desire to follow him at all I followed the messenger until we entered an inn that was completely emptied.  I saw the Royal as he walked into the room.

There had been one time I had the upmost displeasure of meeting Prince Blueblood.  The experience was far less than gratifying, and I could easily say that if first impressions were any kind of standard to go by then both Blueblood and Humperdinck were cut from the same cloth.  I stood in the dress Don had said looked so beautiful on me as the Prince circled around me.  Once again I felt like turning and running.  That part of my biological heritage from my ancestors screaming that I get away from this predator.  He placed a hand on my muzzle and brought it toward him.

“Open your mouth,” he commanded.

Again, I didn’t know why I simply obeyed him.  My mouth opened against my will and I stood there with him peering inside of it.

“She has good teeth.  Yes, I believe the locals were correct in saying that you would easily pass as a royal.  Tell me girl, do you truly want to spend your life here?  There is nothing waiting for you, except perhaps for a pauper’s death,” he said.

“Sire, it is not up to me.  I merely do what I was born into,” I answered.

“That is a very good answer from what I suppose is a very loyal subject.  Then it occurs to me that part of what you were born into is to serve the nobility.  Perhaps you know, and if you do not then I shall enlighten you, my father passed a law some time ago about how we may choose our brides from the peasants.  It was this choice that allowed him to wed my mother, and now, I make my choice.  You are well loved by the community here, beautiful, and I believe will be able to bare me strong children.  Rejoice that you have been favored upon,” he said.

I felt sick.  He talked of children so casually.  It was as if he didn’t realize that bringing a life into this world was only meant to be an act of love.  Instead he talked as if those children would be little more than tools for him to use.  He looked toward two men and nodded.

“Come Princess,” one of them said with a bow.

“Princess?” I asked.

“Of course, you have been chosen to be the bride of Prince Humperdinck.  You are to become the Crowned Princess of Florin,” the kinder of the two Humperdinck said.

I followed them outside and rode on the carriage toward the castle.  As we neared it I realized how different it looked from Canterlot Castle.  It looked as if it was designed so differently, but even with the differences I felt the same sense of power from it.

“Prepare her, for she shall be announced to the peasants within the hour!” Humperdinck demanded.

I watched as he took off, and just as quickly as I was brought here I was whisked away into a room where several women stripped me naked.  Even though I didn’t have the problem with being naked that most humans did I felt a sudden need to cover myself.  I felt one of the women begin to scrub my back as she tisked at me.

“Princess, don’t try to hide your body from us.  We are the royal maiden servants, and trust us, we’ve all seen what everything looks like.  You are not the first royal we’ve had to wash,” she said.

I felt them lift me to my hind legs and scrub down my belly.  The nervousness I felt simply climbed as they cleaned my nether bits.  One of them giggled as they worked.

“When is the last time you’ve seen a virgin?” she asked.

“The last time was when a girl was chosen and given to Count Rugen.  The poor thing had an entire life ahead of her.  The last I heard he completely ruined her for any kind of life once he is done with her.  She’ll never be a bride.  At least this dear one has been chosen for a far better reason,” the kinder one said.

“I’m so sure she was chosen for a kinder reason,” the other one said.

“Please, do not talk about me as if I am not here,” I said.

“I apologize your Highness.  It’s just that from what I’ve heard Humperdinck is a bit of a sadist.  I fear that his reason for choosing you may have nothing to do with being noble,” she said.

I nodded and thought about that for a moment.  I wasn’t going to give myself to him anyway.  I couldn’t end up doing that.  I looked around, but instead of running I felt as if I had to stay.

“Come your Highness, Prince Humperdinck is ready to announce you to the people,” one of the maidens said.

I followed them into the courtyard.

“My people, a month from now, our country will have its 500th anniversary. On that sundown, I shall marry a lady who was once a commoner like yourselves. But perhaps you will not find her common now.  Would you like to meet her?” Prince Humperdinck said to the crowd.

I walked out and he stretched his hand to me.

“My people, the Princess Buttercup,” he said.

I was surprised at being accepted so well by all of the people there.  The introduction lasted for a short time, and then I was led inside.  Once inside I met with the King and Queen.  Both of them were kind, odd, but kind.  As I walked with Humperdinck I expressed the fact that I did not love him.

“My dear, I understand that, but surely you understand that over time you will come to love me.  It is the natural progression of things,” he said.

I wanted to tell him that I would never love him. That there was nothing he could ever do to make me love him, but instead I nodded.

“Perhaps it would do you good to get out and explore the countryside.  Take one of the horses from the stable,” he said.

I walked off toward the stable and looked at the different horses there.  I had absolutely no intention of riding any horse.  Again it felt as if I would be cheating on Don if I did, but regardless within minutes I was helped upon a mare and set off.  As I rode the marriage, being forced from the house I had lived with Don at, and all of the potential duties I would have to face simply melted away.  Instead I found myself enjoying the ride through the country.  I stopped as I neared three figures.  Two of them made my heart swell with happiness.  There before me was Derpy and Fluttershy.  I wanted to hug them and tell them what had happened, but before I could get a word out a short bald man stepped forward.

“A word, my lady. We are but poor, lost circus performers. Is there a village nearby?” he asked.

“There is nothing nearby... not for miles,” I replied.

“Then there will be no one to hear you scream!” he exclaimed.

Derpy looked at me with apologetic face as she struck me over the head.

Fluttershy’s POV

Seeing Lyra made me feel so happy, but I assumed that Derpy was in the same situation that I was in.  We couldn’t talk to her.  Instead the little short bald man that was with us talked to her for a moment and then he had Derpy knock her out.  It was odd that Derpy so large here.  She was easily as tall as Lyra on the back of that horse when she stood on her hind legs.  I decided not to question it.  After all when Spike had used that enchanted comic I became a super hero that turned into a huge monster when I became angry.  My attention went to the short bald man as he was ripping something.

“What is that you're ripping?” I asked with what sounded like a Maredrid accent.

“It's fabric from the uniform of an army officer of Guilder,” the short bald man answered.

“Who's Guilder?” Derpy asked in a deeper voice.

“The country across the sea, the sworn enemy of Florin,” he said as he slapped the horse’s rear, “Go!”

We boarded the ship and he came up behind both of us, “Once the horse reaches the castle, the fabric will make the prince suspect the Guilderians have abducted his love. When he finds her body dead on the Guilder frontier, his suspicions will be totally confirmed,”

“You never said anything about killing anyone,” Derpy said.

“I've hired you to help me start a war. It's a prestigious line of work, with a long and glorious tradition,” he said.

“I just don’t think that it’s right to kill an innocent girl,” she said back to him.

“Am I going mad, or did the word "THINK" escape your lips? YOU WERE NOT HIRED FOR YOUR BRAINS, YOU HIPPOPOTAMIC LAND MASS!  Besides, with your eyes I’m surprised that’s brains enough for you to realize when to eat and when to breathe.  Leave the thinking to those with brains,” he said.

“I agree with Fezzik,” I said.

“OH! The SOT has spoken! What happens to her is not truly your concern. I will kill her! And remember this, NEVER forget this:  when I found you, you were so slobbering drunk, YOU COULDN'T BUY BRANDY!” he then turned to Derpy, “AND YOU! Friendless, brainless, helpless, hopeless! DO YOU WANT ME TO SEND YOU BACK TO WHERE YOU WERE?  UNEMPLOYED?  IN GREENLAND?” he screamed at us.

I looked away from him.  I didn’t like him at all.  He was so angry, and I wished the Rainbow Dash was here.  She would be telling him off and maybe even pushing him over the side of the ship.  I couldn’t help but giggle at the thought.

“Something funny?! Huh?!  Perhaps you want to go back to drowning yourself in liquor, and end up on the wrong side of the law once again!” he shouted at me.

I shook my head and he walked away from me and past Derpy toward the front of the ship.  I walked toward Derpy and leaned in toward her.

“Vizzini, he can... fuss,” I said.

“Fuss, fuss... I think he like to scream... at us,” she said with a giggle.

“Probably he means no... harm,” I replied.

“He's really very short on... charm!” she exclaimed happily.

“Ah, You have a great gift for rhyme,” I said patting her on the back.

“Yes, yes some of the time,” she replied.

“Enough of that!” he shouted.

“Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?” I asked Derpy.

I smiled as I watched her.

“If there are, we'll all be dead!” she exclaimed.

“No more rhymes now, I mean it!” Vizzini shouted.

“Anybody want a peanut?” Derpy chirped.

“DARGUH!!!!!!” Vizzini shouted.

I couldn’t help but laugh.  It felt good to laugh, and to joke.  I watched Lyra and knowing that we found her I hoped that we would find Discord, Don, and Carrot Top before too long.  At least in Spike’s comic we had all been together.  I had been here so long already.  I worried about Angel Bunny, and had the girls already come home?  Oh, if Twilight and Pinkie was home then I didn’t need to worry.  Twilight would make sure that Angel ate, and so would Pinkie, although I told her no more sugar.  Angel was too hard to keep track of after that.

I noticed something behind us in the water.  For a moment it was almost nothing, but then I realized that it was another ship.

“We'll reach the cliffs by dawn,” Vizzini said, “Why are you doing that?”

“Making sure nobody's follow us,” I answered.

Despite him saying what he did to Derpy I starting to wonder if he was the truly stupid one.

“That would be inconceivable,” Vizzini said.

I noticed that Lyra was awake and smiled down at her.  She returned it to me and then looked at him.

“Despite what you think, you will be caught. And when you are, the prince will see you all hanged,” she said.

“Of all the necks on this boat, Highness, the one you should be worrying about is your own,” he said before he looked back at me, “Stop doing that!  We can all relax, it's almost over.”

“You are sure nobody's follow us?” I ask.

“As I told you, it would be absolutely, totally, and in all other ways, inconceivable. No one in Guilder knows what we've done, and no one in Florin could've gotten here so fast,” he paused for a moment, “Out of curiosity, why do you ask?”

“Oh, it's nothing, suddenly, I just happen to look behind us and something is there,” I said pointing out toward the distance.

“What?” he asked

He walked over toward me and I felt him lean against the same side of the ship I was against, “Probably some local fisherman out for a pleasure cruise at night... through eel infested waters.”

The next sound was one of water splashing.  I turned to see Lyra trying to swim away, and inside I cheered her on.  I didn’t want this big meanie we were with to do anything to her.

“Wha-wh- Go in! Get after her!” he screamed.

“I don’t swim,” I replied.

“I only dog paddle,” Derpy said.

“DYEAH!! VEER LEFT! LEFT! LEFT!” he shouted.

Derpy pointed out at the water as a high pitched wailing sound could be heard.

“Do you know what that sound is, Highness? Those are the shrieking eels. If you don't believe me, just wait! They always grow louder when they're about to feed on flesh,” he said.

I watched as an eel swam by her.

“If you swim back now, I promise, no harm will come to you.  I doubt you'll get such an offer from the eels,” Vizzini promised.

I watched Lyra swim back toward us, but as she was an eel began charging her.  Before a thing could be said Derpy reached down and pulled her into the ship.

“Put her down, just put her down,” Vizzini said.

“I think he's getting closer,” I said.

“HE'S NO CONCERN OF OURS. SAIL ON!” he shouted.

I turned to watch him look down at Lyra.

“I suppose you think you're brave, don't you?” he said.

“Only compared to some,” she replied.

He grumbled and walked away from her.  I watched him take a seat at the far end of the ship and his eyes closed.

“Lyra, are you okay?” Derpy asked.

“Don…  it’s terrible he left to go and learn a craft…  My neighbor told me that he had been killed!” she cried.

I walked over to her and pulled her into a tight hug.  She nuzzled against my neck.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“It hurts so bad.  This has been so hard, and I’ve never known my heart to hurt like this before.  Even when Bonny left me it didn’t feel like this,” she whimpered.

“Shhhh… It’s okay.  We’re here now, and we’re going to help as much as we can,” I said.

She nodded.  We sat together in the cold as the night passed.  I looked up and noticed the ship from the previous night.

“Look! He's right on top of us! I wonder if he's using the same wind we are using,” I said.

“Whoever he is, he's too late. SEE? THE CLIFFS OF INSANITY! HURRY UP! MOVE THE THING! AND THAT OTHER THING!” Vizzini shouted.

We began preparing the ship to dock and once it was we started leaving it.

“MOVE IT!” he shouted as we exited the ship, “We're safe.”

He pointed to a rope and began strapping what looked like harnesses onto Derpy.

“Only Fezzik is strong enough to go up our way. He'll have to sail around for hours 'til he finds a harbor,” he said with glee.

Derpy began to climb the rope with a strength that I didn’t realize she had.  She was always so gentle, and I was amazed at how powerful she was.  She would flap her wings every once in a while, but mainly she was grabbing the rope with her mouth, pulling us up, and then holding on with her front and rear hooves.  We were well over halfway up the rope when I looked down.

“He's climbing the rope. And he's gaining on us,” I said.

I looked over at Vizzini as he looked down.  His eyes widened.

“Inconceivable!” he shouted before he hit Derpy in the shoulder, “FASTER!” he demanded.

“I thought I WAS going faster,” she said.

He growled and stared at her.

“YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THIS COLOSSUS, YOU WERE THIS GREAT LEGENDARY THING, AND YET HE GAINS!” he shouted.

“Well, I'm carrying three people, and he's got only himself,” she reasoned to him.

“I do not accept excuses.  I'm just going to have to find myself a new giant, that's all,” he said snidely.

She actually looked heartbroken when he said that.  Normally it would be really hard for me to get upset, but he was pushing my buttons.  Here he was making fun of Derpy, being a big meanie, and all the time there was something that was keeping from telling him that he should try to be nicer, well if he doesn’t mind I mean.

“Don't say that, Vizzini. Please?” she pleaded.

“DID I MAKE IT CLEAR THAT YOUR JOB IS AT STAKE?!” he shouted at her.

At that she climbed harder.  I felt the edge of the cliff scrap across my wings before Derpy climbed over the edge and managed to set us all down.  At that Vizzini ran to the top of the rope and cut it.  I walked to the edge and saw the man in black still on the side of the cliff.

“He's got very good arms,” Derpy said.

“HE DIDN'T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE!” Vizzini shouted.

“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means,” I said, “Sweet Celestia he’s climbing!”

“Whoever he is, he's obviously seen us with the princess and must therefore die. You, carry her. We'll head straight for the Guilder frontier. Catch up when he's dead. If he falls, fine. If not, the sword,” he said.

I looked at him and tried to get it through my head.

“I'm going to duel him left-hoofed,” I said.

“YOU KNOW WHAT A HURRY WE'RE IN!” he shouted.

“Is the only way I can be satisfied. If I use my right, over too quickly,” I replied.

“Oh, have it your way,” Vizzini said.

“You be careful.  People in masks cannot be trusted,” Derpy said.

“I’m waiting!” Vizzini shouted.

Derpy glowered at him before looking back at me.

“Do be careful Fluttershy,” she said.

“I…  I’ll be okay,” I said.

She nodded and carried Lyra as she followed Vizzini.  I watched the little bald meanie leave and for once I never felt so glad to see someone go.  I’ve never known any pony that mean.  He was just so abusive.  I put it out of my mind and looked over the side of the cliff again.

“Hello there!” I shouted, “Slow going?”

“Look, I don't mean to be rude, but this is not as easy as it looks, so I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't distract me,” he said back.

“Sorry,” I replied.

“Thank you,” he said sounding very terse.

“I do not suppose you could-a speed things up?” I asked.

“If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope or a tree branch or find something useful to do,” he replied.

“I could do that. I've got some rope up here, but I do not think you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you,” I replied to him.

“Well, that does put a damper on our relationship,” he said.

“But, I promise I will not kill you until you reach the top,” I said.

“That’s very comforting, but I’m afraid that you’re just going to have to wait,” he said.

“I hate waiting,” I said as I began to walk away, “I could give you my word as a Maredrian.”

“No good. I’ve known too many Maredrians,” he replied.

“So’s there anyway you’ll trust me?” I asked.

“Nothing comes to mind,” he replied.

“I swear, on the soul of my father, Domingo Montoya, you will reach the top alive,” I said.

“Throw me the rope,” he replied.

I quickly uncoiled it and tossed it over to him.  He quickly climbed up the rope and I watched as he began to pull his sword.

“Thank you,” he said.

“W...wait, if you don’t mind, and go ahead and rest up for a bit,” I said.

“Again, thank you,” he replied.

“I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?” I asked as he took his boot off and dumped some rocks.

“Do you always begin conversations like this?” he asked.

“My father was slaughtered by a six fingered man. Was a great sword maker, my father. When the six fingered man appear and request a special sword, my father took the job,” I said as I looked at him and withdrew my sword, “He slave a year before he was done.”

“I’ve never seen its equal,” he replied as I handed it to him.

“The six fingered man returned and demanded it, but at one-tenth his promised price. My father refuse. Without a word, the six fingered man slash him through the heart,” I returned to the sword to its sheath, “I loved my father, so naturally I challenged his murderer to a duel. I fail. Six fingered man leave me alive. But he give me these.”

I pointed to the scars on my muzzle.

“How old were you?” he asked.

“I was eleven years old. When I was-a strong enough, I dedicated my life to the study of fencing, so the next time we meet, I will not fail. I will go up to the six fingered man and say, ‘Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father.  Prepare to die.’,” I said.

“You’ve done nothing but study swordplay?” he asked.

“More a pursuit than a study, lately. You see, I cannot find him. It has been twenty years now and I am starting to lose confidence. I just work for Vizzini to pay the bills. It's not a lot of money in revenge,” I said.

“Well I,” he began rise, “I hope that you find him one day,” he said.

“I suppose that we should begin,” I said, “You seem a decent fellow, I hate to kill you.”

“Thank you, you seem a decent fellow, I hate to die,” he replied.

We both quickly unsheathed our swords and they met with a metallic clang.  I felt the vibrations run down the sword into my left right hoof.  The sword I was using seemed to be made especially for me.  We moved seamlessly through the area.  Each move a part of a dance that was as beautiful as it was deadly.  I loved it, and at the same time I wanted to quiver in fear.  This was so dangerous, so frightening, and I just wanted to find my friends and leave.

We shared a short banter, throwing out compliments at our skill until finally he knocked my sword away from me.  I went to all fours and lowered my head.

“Kill me quickly,” I whimpered.

“I’d rather destroy a beautiful stained glass window than kill an artist like yourself, Fluttershy.  I’m sorry,” he said.

For a moment I wondered what he said before a terrible pain rushed through my skull and everything blacked out.

Derpy’s POV

I watched Vizzini as he looked behind us and his eyes widened.

“Inconceivable!” he shouted.

“What?” I asked.

“Catch up to me quickly!” he demanded.

“What is going on?” he asked.

“I want you to stay behind and finish him your way,” Vizzini said.

“Oh, thank you Vizzini!” I exclaimed, “Wait, what’s my way?”

“Pick up a rock, when the man in black appears and you see his head hit him with it!” he exclaimed.

“My way is not very sporting,” I murmured.

I waited for him to go and when the man in black got closer I tossed the rock barely missing him.

“I didn’t have to miss, but I don’t want to do it like this,” I said.

“What do you propose?” he asked.

“Don?” I asked.

“Derpy…  I’m sorry.  I really am,” he said.

“Don’t be!  Oh Don Lyra is going to be so happy!” I exclaimed as I went to hug him.

He jumped into the hug and then I let him down.

“Vizzini is going to try to kill her!” I exclaimed.

“I know, I’ve watched this movie a thousand times.  We have to wrestle Derpy.  It seems that the movie wants us to follow what happened in it,” he said.

“Oh, okay,” I said.

He moved around and I swiped at him.

“You’re very fast,” I said.

“A good thing too,” he replied.

“Don, why are you wearing a mask?” I asked’ “Did you get burned or something?”

“Oh no, it's just they're terribly comfortable. I think everyone'll be wearing them in the future,” he replied.

I swiped at him and he jumped onto my back.  I tried to knock him off, but he held on. I could feel my breathing getting shallower, my eyes grew heavy, and soon everything turned black on me.

Don’s POV

I didn’t want to do that to either Fluttershy or Derpy.  They were both my friends, but it seemed like the film really wanted everything to proceed just like it normally did.  I had learned that the hard way when I tried to stop the large pirate ship from overtaking the Bristol Packet.  I hadn’t ever seen what really happened in that time, but I knew that Westley had become an assistant to the Dread Pirate Roberts.

From that point on I followed the movie as close as possible.  I did what Westley had said he had done, and eventually I was filled in about how he wasn’t the first Dread Pirate Roberts.  From there I took over the ship, and I went in search of Lyra.  I missed her so much.  I hadn’t realized how much until I was forced to do without her.  All of that lead me to this instant, and I was narrowing in on Vizzini.  I could see him sitting beside Lyra with a blade against her throat.  Although I knew he was just part of the movie my blood boiled as I watched him.

“So it is down to you, and it is down to me,” he said as I pressed forward, “If you wish her dead, by all means, keep moving forward.”

“Please, let me explain…” I began

“There is nothing to explain.  You are trying to kidnap what I have rightfully stolen,” he retorted.

“Perhaps an arrangement can be made,” I said.

“There will be no arrangement, and you are killing her,” he said pressing the dagger closer and actually drawing blood.

I stopped and kept myself from getting more upset.  I needed to be strong at the moment.

“Well, if here is no arrangement then we are at an impasse,” I said.

“I’m afraid so.  I can’t compete with you physically and you’re no match for my brains,” he replied.

“You’re that smart?” I asked him.

I knew the next words out of his mouth.  It was so easy to follow the scene.  Although he was just a character I had to remind myself that Vizzini was written to be a very clever man.  So appealing to a battle of the wits was the best thing to do.  Within seconds he agreed and so began the great Iocane powder scene.  I listened to him go through the entire list.  Pushing back and forth until he tried the oldest trick in the book.  I looked away, more caused by the movie forcing me to than actually wanting to, and then turned back to watch him wave it off.  We both drank, he laughed, and then he fell over.  I quickly lifted Lyra and removed the blindfold.

From having watched the movie I knew that Humperdinck would be following us.  I needed to get her away from him, away from all of this and secretly I wanted to be able to just take her back home.  Still we reached the place where I was supposed to say some very unwelcomed things.

“I know who you are!” she shouted.

I felt her eyes burning into me.

“You are the Dread Pirate Roberts, and you killed my one true love,” she said.

“It’s likely.  I kill quite a few people,” I replied.

“Don’t trivialize my pain!” she exclaimed.

“Life is pain princess,” I said as I drew her up to me, “And anypony telling you different is trying to sell you something.”

She looked at me and her eyes widened.

“I do remember your farm boy though.  He didn’t try to beg or barter his way to freedom.  No, he simply asked ‘Please, please don’t kill me’.  It was the please that caught my attention.  I asked him what was so important to live for, and he replied, ‘True love’.  He told me of a beautiful creature, so faithful, true, and wonderful that he needed to go back to.  I believe that I did your Westley a service by killing him.  He didn’t have to live to see the wretch his true love had become,” I said.

She growled and looked at me with utter hatrid.

“And what is it that I’ve become?” she asked.

“Faithfulness he talked of, Madame, your enduring faithfulness. Now tell me truly, when you found out he was gone, did you get engaged to your prince at the same hour, or did you wait a whole week out of respect for the dead?” I asked.

“You mocked me once never do it again!  I died that day and you can die too for all I care!” she shouted as she shoved me.

I yelled As you wish to her as I rolled down the hill, and once I landed on the bottom I felt her land on top of me.  She gathered me up into her forelegs and kissed me deeply.

“DON!” she exclaimed happily.

“I’ve missed you too Lyra.  I’ve missed you so much,” I said as we pulled back.

“Humperdinck… Oh, he’s coming!” she said.

“Quick, we’ll go in there,” I said.

“The fire swamp?!  But it’s filled with dangers!  I mean it’s exactly like the Everfree forest!” she exclaimed.

“And that’s all the more reason Humperdinck won’t follow us,” I said.

She nodded.  The both of us got up and headed into the forest.  Again it was just like the movie.  We ended up avoiding the flames, crawling out of the lightening sand, and finally facing down the Rodents of Unusual size.  Once through it we managed to make to the clearing.  This was the part I was afraid of.  I knew what was coming, and I hated it.  I hated it because I had just gotten back with Lyra.

“Halt!” a royal voice called out.

I looked up at Humperdinck and drew my sword.

“You’ve survived the fire swamp which means you are either very brave or very stupid.  I am hoping that you are brave because only a stupid man would attempt to fight a prince while he has his guards.  Then again, if you are stupid it will provide me with some much needed entertainment,” he said.

“Speaking of the fire swamp it wouldn’t be hard to go back into there.  We know where everything is and together we could live quite a while,” I replied.

“Wait, wait…  If I come with you willingly, if I agree to go back with you and become your bride will you spare him and return him to his ship?” Lyra asked.

“No!” I shouted.

“Of course, though it is an odd request,” he said.

“My love, perhaps this is just not our time,” she said to me.

“Count Rugen, Return him to his ship,” Humperdinck said.

I watched as he rode off with Lyra and the count neared me.

“Come sir, your ship is waiting,” he said.

“We’re not returning to the ship,” I said.

“No, we are not,” he said as he nodded.

Pain filled me, and I found blackness.

When I awoke again I was inside of a dark room.  An albino was cleaning my wounds.

“Where am I?” I asked.

“In the pit of despair.  Don’t even try to es…,” he coughed, “Don’t even think to try to escape.  There’s only one entrance in here and only Count Rugen and I know it.”

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Tending to your wounds.  The count wants you healthy before we begin,” he said.

“So torture huh?  Well, I can take that,” I said.

“No, no you can’t.  No one can withstand the machine,” he said.

I knew what he was talking about.  It didn’t take long for Rugen to appear, and even less time for me to be strapped into the machine.  There are things I’d had happen to me that were unpleasant.  Burned, cut, broken a bone or two, but nothing, and I mean nothing, compared to the machine.  Westley screamed for a damned good reason.  It felt worse than horrible to have a year’s worth of life sucked out of me.  The whimper that I had seen so many years ago were still there.  I whimpered and inside I wanted to crawl off and die.  I wanted to because I knew what was coming.

I knew that no matter what happened at this point I was going to be facing something so much worse.  For an entire week I was treated, fed, made healthy, and all for the next bump which was going to be five years.  Instead Humperdinck ran down the stairs like a mad man.

“You may have truly loved each other.  She may truly love you.  Which means in all of history there will be no one that will suffer as much as you will,” he said.

I watched in horror as he shot the control up to fifty years and pain, pure bright, surging pain went through me and I screamed out as the machine sucked those years from me.

Derpy’s POV

I listened to my new boss as he ordered me to get rid of a single pony refusing to leave.  I walked to the house and found Fluttershy.  She was leaning against a house, actually the same house we had met Vizzini at.

“I am waiting for Vizzini.  He said to wait here when the job was done, and so I am waiting here!” she screamed at the men trying to drive her away.

“Go on, take care of her,” my new boss said.

I looked at him, and quickly bopped him on the head.  He fell over and I turned toward Fluttershy.

“Fluttershy,” I said.

“Derpy?” she asked.

“It is me.  Come, let us take care  of you,” I said.

I told her about the six fingered man, Count Rugen, and she promptly passed out in a bowl of food.

For the next hour I set about helping her sober up until finally she shook her mane and stepped back.

“No more, please no more,” she said, “This count where is he?”

“In the castle,” I said, “But it is heavily guarded.  There is at least thirty men.”

“How many could you handle?” she asked.

“Ten armed,” I said.

“Ten, no… that leaves too many.  I could never hope to best twenty armed men in combat.  We need Vizzini,” she said.

“But Vizzini is dead,” I said.

“No… not Vizzini, the man in black, Don, we need Don!” she exclaimed.

“He was captured by the Count and Humperdinck.  I’m not sure where they have taken him,” I said.

“Do not worry my friend.  We will worry about the small details when we need to!” she shouted.

I followed her out into the forest where we saw an albino.  We followed him for a bit until we came near a few trees.  She asked me to jog his memory, but I ended up knocking him out.  I watched as she asked her father to guide her sword and after a few seconds we found the entrance hidden inside of a tree.  We walked down to find Don lying on a table.

“He’s dead,” she said stepping back.

“What do we do?” I asked.

“How much money do you have?” she asked me.

“A little, why?” I asked.

“Let us hope it is enough to buy a miracle,” she replied, “Get his body and follow me.”

I did like she asked and the two of us headed out toward a small home.  Once there she knocked on the door and it opened to reveal Discord.  He quickly picked her up into a hug.

“This has been terrible!  I can’t perform any magic!” he exclaimed.

“Discord we need some help, Don, he’s…” she started.

He touched Don and shook his head.

“Not dead, just mostly dead.  Set him down and let me see what I have to work with,” he said.

I watched as he quickly set upon getting a pair of bellows.  He pumped some air into Don’s chest and then looked at him.

“So, what’s so important that you need to live?” he asked him.

“True love,” Don moaned through his nearly closed lips.

“True love is a grand thing, a very noble cause, but he didn’t say that.  Nope, he said to Blave, which means to bluff,” Discord said.

“Stop right there!  You know he said True love!” Carrot Top said as she came around from the corner.

“Shut up witch!” he demanded.

“I’m not a Witch!”  she demanded.

“Discord, please… Humperdinck has Lyra, and you’re our only hope,” Fluttershy said.

“Wait, if I do this Humperdinck suffers and we go home right?” he asked.

“Yes, humiliation and then home,” Fluttershy said.

“Now that’s a noble cause!” he exclaimed.

I watched as he mixed up the miracle and then handed it to us.

“You need to wait fifteen minutes before giving that to him for it to have full potency,” Discord said.

I found a cloak and Discord looked at it and then at me.

“If you want it take it with you,” he said.

I nodded and picked up Don.  I carried him toward the wall and we stopped.

“That is more than thirty men,” Fluttershy said.

“Yes, but we have him,” I said nudging Don.

“Quick, give him the pill,” she said.

“Has it been fifteen minutes?” I asked.

“It doesn’t matter, we don’t have the time to wait,” she said.

We opened his mouth, pushed the pill in and forced him to swallow it.  A moment later his eyes opened and he looked at us confused.

“Why can’t I move my arms and legs?” he asked.

“You’ve been mostly dead for most of the day,” I said.

Both Don and Fluttershy began talking about how to get into the castle and I pointed out that he was moving his finger, his head, and I asked him if he was happy about it.  For a moment he got snippy, but then we told him about the wheelbarrow.  I listened as he told us the plan and after a few minutes I was standing on the wheelbarrow, on my hind legs, and stretching out my front hooves.

“I am the Dread Pirate Roberts!  There will be no mercy, no one will survive, I have come for all of your souls!” I shouted.

It felt so good to watch them all scatter.  I thought about dressing up like this on Nightmare Night.

Fluttershy’s POV

It was so good to see everything coming around.  We got into the castle, and I knew that before long we could go home.  I wanted to go home.  I needed to check on Angel Bunny, and I wanted to make sure that everything was okay with all of my other animal friends.  I had simply been gone far too long to not get back there with them.

Once we were inside we began walking down a hall and I saw a man standing away from me.  On one hand he had six fingers and the memory of my father, of my real father burned in my mind.  Even though I knew that my daddy was still alive I saw the man before me brutally murder him.

“Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die,” I said.

He sent his guards toward me, but in an instant I had them all on the ground and faced him.  He drew his sword, prepared to face me, and ran off.  I flapped my wings, lifting off of the ground and chased after him.  I was nearly on him when he slammed a door shut and locked it.

“DERPY!  HELP ME!”  I shouted.

“But I can’t leave Don alone!” she shouted back.

“PLEASE!  HE’S GOING TO GET AWAY!” I screamed.

I heard her nearing me and when she got to the door she turned around and mule kicked it off of its hinges.

“Go after him,” she said.

I nodded and faster than I’ve ever flown before I chased after him.  I rounded a corner and found a dagger in my stomach.  I fell against the wall and slid down it.

“Forgive me father, I have failed you,” I whimpered.

I slowly made my way to my hind legs and pulled the dagger out.  I held the sword in my right hoof’ while  my left foreleg was holding the wound I had received from the Count.  I felt so much pain rushing through me.  My eyes focused on him as I tried to stand.

"You must be that little Spanish brat I taught a lesson to all those years ago. You've been chasing me your whole life only to fail now? I think that's about the worst thing I've ever heard," he said, "How Marvelous."

I struggled to stand up as he watched me.  I fell back against the wall and he clicked his tongue.

"You've seemed to develop an unhealthy sense of vengeance.  It's going to get you into trouble," he said as he thrust his sword forward.  I blocked it causing it to hit my right foreleg.

He thrust forward again and Ireblocked it causing it to hit my left.  Finally, I stood to my hind legs and looked at him.  My eyes hardening at him.

"Hello My Name Is Inigo Montoya.  You killed my father.  Prepare to die," I whispered.

"Excuse me, what was that?" he asked.

I thrust forward, visions of my father, of my real father being viciously killed by the creature in front of me flashed through my head.  I cried out in anguish and struck his sword with an unknown skill.  He blocked it and I looked at him, fixing the stare upon him.

"Hello My Name Is Inigo Montoya!  You killed my father!  Prepare to die!" I shouted.

He blocked me sword as I floated into the air and began fighting him with earnest.

Each swipe I could see my father, having worked on a beautiful sword, being killed, his work stripped from him as the count admired it.  I could see the same count giving me two scars on my face as a reminder.

“HELLO MY NAME IS INIGO MONTOYA! YOU KILLED MY FATHER!  PREPARE TO DIE!" I screamed.

"Stop saying that!" he shouted back at her.

I batted his sword away, and gave him a cut in the same place he had given me so long ago.

"Offer me money," I said.

"Yes!" he exclaimed.

I slashed his other cheek.

"Power, too, promise me that," I said.

"All that I have and more. Please," he begged.

"Offer me everything I ask for," I said.

"Anything you want," Count Rugen said before knocking my sword away.

He lunged forward, but I caught his arm and drove my own sword forward.

"I want my father back, you son of a bitch, if you don't mind," I whispered as I pushed the sword further into his stomach.

Don’s POV

There was mixture of joy and pain as Lyra realized that I was still alive.  She ran toward me, wrapped me into her forelegs and cried deeply against my shoulder.  I knew the scene we were in, and I said it word by word.  Each moment I watched as Humperdinck came in, exclaimed how he would win, and then decide to drop his sword when I explained what would happen to him.  Once that was threw it was fairly easy.  We jumped out of the window, Derpy caught us, and then the same golden light that had surrounded us before did so once again.

We all appeared back inside of the bar and I looked around.  For some reason everything looked the same.  I looked at the television and noticed that the credits were rolling on.  Everypony else seemed to be looking around at the same time.  Discord snapped his claws and a huge bucket of ice cream appeared.

“Oh I have never been so happy to be back home.  If that is what Earth is like they can have it,” he said.

“We’ve only been gone a little over an hour,” I said.

“I want to go home and snuggle Dinky until we both go to sleep,” Derpy said.

“I think that I want to just watch a movie next time,” Carrot Top said.

“I’m ready to go home too,” Fluttershy said.

With that both she and Discord disappeared.  I watched as our other two friends left and then I turned to Lyra.  She walked toward me, stood on her hind legs, and kissed me deeply.

“I want you to take me upstairs, and then I want you to rut the living Tartarus out of me.  It might have only been an hour, but it felt like years, and I need you badly,” she said.

I nodded, lifted her into my arms, and we walked up stairs.  Both of us had one thought on our minds.  That thought carried over into action.  Neither of us really wanted any floor play, but instead we wanted to gorge on each other.  I did as she asked, and she did as I hoped for.  When it was over she lay beside me, sweating just as I was.

“Don, I love you,” she said.

“I love you too Lyra,” I said.

“I… Don, I want to spend my life with you.  I mean it.  I…  I want to marry you,” she said.

“Are you proposing?” I asked.

She nodded, “Being in there made me realize how lucky I am, and I don’t want to even chance losing you.  I want to be together forever, and that means being mare enough to admit that I want a ceremony that binds us together.”

“I’m already bound to you, but if you want us to get married that would be fine.  So, do you want a big one, or just go to Las Pegasus?” I asked.

She hit my arm and shook her head.

“Something here, but not overly big would be fine with me.  I just want to have our friends here for it.  Maybe you can even invite your friend from Earth to it,” she said.

“He might come.  Hell, I’m sure that Pinkie might drag him here.  Especially if she gets to plan the reception,” I said.

“A Pinkie Pie reception?  Are you sure you understand what not too big is?” she asked.