Be Careful What You Wish For

by Ron Jeremy Pony

Rating: mature
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Lyra, Romance, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 56888

Lucky, that's all I could call it. Winning a gate pass to enter Equestria was beyond amazing. Hell, unlike Louis I had been a serious fan of the show for years, and finding out that Equestria actually existed. It was Amazing.

I don't know how I could be so lucky. I mean winning a Gate Pass from a radio station was beyond a stroke of luck, and knowing that I was going to get to go to Equestria and just enjoy myself for a while helped make me smile like an idiot. I'm not sure exactly what I'll find over there, but hell I was a fan of the show for years. You know if Louis would have watched the show some he would know what to expect out of living with Pinkie Pie, but then again I suppose that learning first hand could be fun.

(Join Don as he ventures into Equestria, has a little adventure, and perhaps even finds love. Or at least... Nope love. Love with a human obsessed unicorn, but love none the less. It might need to be said, but this is a tie in/spin off of Room for Rent. I was given premission by Drax99 to write about Don getting to go to Equestria. So, if you want to see what this is based off of check out his amazing story Room For Rent.)

Published 2014-04-29 14:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-02 02:38:15 UTC

Mr Lucky

Be Careful what you wish for

Tie in with the Room For Rent Universe

Chapter 1 – ‘Mr. Lucky’

“Holy shit this is awesome!!!!”

“That it is Don Riker!  While you’re celebrating your good fortune why don’t you tell the listeners at home what radio station plays the best rock of yesterday and today?!” the DJ replies over the phone and radio.

“K-DOG 103.3 the rock hard Diamond Dog!” I shouted back.

A moment later I could hear them switch it to commercial and then the DJ took a little different tone.

“Seriously, congratulations on winning the grand prize of the free trip Mr. Riker, and tomorrow we’ll need you to come by and pick up the gateway pass.  You’re also going to have to have a complete physical.  If your insurance doesn’t cover it we do have a station doc on hand that can do it, but she’s… well, she’s a peculiar on how she treats folks,” the DJ replied.

“No, my insurance will cover it.  I just can’t believe that I’m getting to go to Equestria.  I mean this is a dream come true.  Oh man, I’ve got to call and tell Louis about this.  I mean this is…  Holy shit dude this is so awesome!” I exclaimed.

“Well, again congratulations on your prize.  Anyway, the sooner you get your physical and pick up your pass the sooner you can start your vacation,” the DJ replied.

I nodded, and then realized that he couldn’t see the nod.

“Absolutely, I’ll be by tomorrow.  Damn… this is going to be so awesome!” I said.

I gave all of my information that they needed and then hung up the phone.  There was a crap ton of stuff that I needed to do.  I was going to be living every bronies’ dream, and I was going to be doing it hardcore.  I looked through my closet and thought about what I could wear over there.  I thought about wearing some of the stuff that I had from before the portal.  T-shirts with Equestria Girls on it, maybe the one with Discord on the front saying “Everypony needs a little chaos,”, but in the end I knew that I shouldn’t be too weird.  I had heard how some of the bronies that went over there were asked to leave because they ended up being a little too obsessive.  In the end I picked out a few sets of casual formal wear, a few DC and Marvel shirts, a couple pair of shorts, and my lucky Nike Air Jordan’s.  I looked at the old court shoes.  I had found a pair of the original 1985 shoes, in my size, on Fee-bay, the digital auction house so well known for its tons of fees, and ended up getting them.  Sure, they had cost about a hundred and fifty bucks, along with another ninety for the site’s fees, but since getting them I’ve had mostly good luck.  Sort of, okay I’m not dead yet so more or less good luck.

I put the lucky shoes in my suitcase and slammed the lid shut.  It groaned with the pressure of the clothes inside and I quickly thought about something.  They said that nothing really advanced would work over there.  That meant my cell phone wouldn’t work at all.  I was going to have to buy a disposable camera instead of taking pictures with my second generation Robotz phone.  Oh well, it was okay.  I would still have some pictures, and I could always scan them into the computer here when I got home.

I grabbed the older smart phone and quickly dialed my doctor’s office.

“New Life Medical Clinic, this is Sandra, how may I help you today?” a nasally voice asked.

“Sandra, this is Don Riker.  I’d like to know if I could get in today as a walk in for a physical?” I asked.

“Dr. Loomis doesn’t have any appointments after three thirty.  If you can get here a few minutes early we’ll see what we can do to get you worked in.  Is there any reason for the physical we need to be made aware of?  Have you contracted anything recently?” she asked.

“Ummmm, no, but I have to have a physical before I can take my trip, so I need a physical,” I replied.

“Oh, that’s fine then.  Go ahead and come in,” she said.

She hung up the phone and I looked at the time.  It was only one pm and that meant that I had two and half hours.  I sniffed myself and realized that a shower wasn’t out of the question.  I walked into the shower, quickly took it, and then I thought about work.  I had tomorrow off, but then I had to go in.  Well, I needed to let them know that I would be taking vacation.  Hell, I wouldn’t be the only one to have done this to them, and besides it was a shitty job.  If they wanted to let me go they could.  This place had an abundance of shitty jobs, and I could get on at any of them.  The thought of Smiley-Mart came to mind and I quickly shivered.  Okay, any of them but there.

I had heard horror stories about Smiley-Mart.  Everyone who worked in retail had met someone who had worked there.  Employers loved to hire those guys because they had been trained so hard on customer service that they could never turn it off.  On top of that Smiley-Mart didn’t like to pay competitive wages, so they tended to give people twenty to twenty-five hour shifts.  It wasn’t illegal to do, but it was unethical as hell.  I’d go work at Burger Queen before I went to work at Smiley-Mart.  I shook that feeling off.  There were other places to work at, and besides I was one of the best computer techs they had there.  Feeling a bit more confident I strolled out of the bedroom, down the hall, and into the bathroom of my apartment.

I looked at the mint green tub.  All in all the apartment wasn’t a bad one.  Sure, it was unrevonated, the carpet was a color of orange that had existed in the 1970’s and never really made it out of that decade.  Actually, I’m fairly certain that this apartment had been the set of a few pornos back in its day.  The fake wood paneling didn’t really help the look of the apartment either, but I ignored it for the most part.  I stripped off in front of my tub, turned on the water, and waited for a good three minutes while the boiler decided to kick on.  After I was sure that I had hot water I got into it and quickly took care of some business.

A few minutes found me dressed, wearing the Discord shirt I had decided against earlier, because why not, and a comfortable pair of blue jeans along with my Honey Badger workboots.  I stepped out and walked down to my car.  The few times that I had rode with Louis to work reminded me of why I liked my old prehistoric car so much.  There was a lot more room in here.  I turned the engine over in my old LTD until it caught and headed off toward Dr. Loomis’ office.

The moment I arrived I walked in to see a nearly cleared out waiting room.  Feeling fortunate I walked up to the counter and signed in.  Sure, I was a good hour and thirty minutes early, but if they could get in faster that would be perfect.  I took a seat and picked up a magazine that just happened to be lying beside me.  I lifted it up and was greeted by a picture of a mare, lying on her back, legs sprawled out, and her face flushed.  My eyes widened and I took in what I was seeing before I closed the magazine and noticed that it said ‘Playcolt’.  I looked across from me and saw a nervous looking stallion sitting there.

“Hi,” I said.

“Howdy,” he replied.

I knew that I recognized the voice.  Hell, I had watched the show religiously before the portal opened.  The voice sounded so familiar, but I was having a really hard time thinking about who it was.

“Was this yours?” I asked.

“Ah’d kindly thank ya to not go mentioning it.  Ma fil-um girlfriend might git a little bit mad,” he replied.

“No problem, my name is Don,” I said.

“Thank ya, names Braeburn,” he replied.

“Braeburn… wait a minute you mean Applejack’s cousin?” I asked.

“The same.  It’s funny, she can’t go nowhere without somepony knowin’ her,” he replied.

I laughed a little and he did the same.

“So, dating someone here huh?  How’s that going?” I asked.

“Purty good.  She’s a might ornery at times though,” he replied.

The door to the back opened and a young brunette stepped out.  She was cute, and there was something familiar about her.  I was trying to place it when she stopped, saw me with the magazine next to me and then looked at me.

“You!” she exclaimed.

The waitress, she was the waitress that waited on Louis and me before.  She walked over and grabbed the magazine and picked it up.

“It’s guys like you that are making these poor mares feel like they have to do this kind of thing to be accepted!  You and that ‘friend’ of yours!” she exclaimed before she threw the magazine in the trash and then looked at Braeburn.

“Sweetheart let’s get out of here,” she said.

They got up to leave and he looked at me and mouthed a thank you.

I nodded.  I did hope that it worked out for him, or at least sort of worked out for him.  I waited for a few more minutes went back into the examination room and a few minutes later I heard the sound of squeaking shoes walking down the hall.  The door opened and the room filled the smell of cherry tobacco.  The older man walked toward me, and cleared his throat.

“I understand that you’re taking a trip right?  Somewhere exotic?” he asked.

“I won a free trip to Equestria!” I exclaimed.

The excitement was still thundering in my head.  I saw him smile as he walked over to a drawer and pulled out a different chart than the one he had.

“Well, then that means that we get to treat you for an entirely different list of things today.  Medical studies from Equestria have reported that for the most part there isn’t a whole lot of illnesses over there that humans can catch very easy, but we can take a few nasty things with us that they can catch.  So, from your file I can see that you’ve had the chicken pox when you were a kid.  That’s good.  It means the virus is long since dead in your system.  We’re going to draw a little blood, check you for some STD’s, unless there’s some reason we shouldn’t, and go from there,” Dr. Loomis said.

“STD’s?” I asked.

“It’s a standard precaution, and I don’t want to go into why it is.  Now, if there isn’t a reason to test you then we’ll skip it.  So, what’s your sexual history?” he asked.

“I’ve had sex before,” I said looking away from him.

“Seriously?  Don, you’ve been my patent since you were eighteen.  That’s eight years, and in that eight years you’ve never?” he asked.

“S…sure I did,” I said feeling a little self-conscious.

He shook his head and touched my arm.

“We’ll have them run the screen on the blood work.  Now, we’re going to touch on your diet.  I can promise you that Burger Queen isn’t available over there.  For the most part a good portion of the population is vegetarian, although there are a few omnivores, and it reflects on their dining.  So as a preventative I’m going to suggest that you take protein supplements.  You can get these at Smiley-Mart for about six dollars.  Two pills, twice a day.  It should be plenty to ensure that your diet isn’t too out of whack.  Just be sure to eat something more than salad.  I’d suggest beans, potatoes, eggplant, and some soy if they have it.  That will provide the other protein that the supplements don’t have,” Dr. Loomis said.

He quickly checked me, and when he was finished I had them take the blood sample.  Before I left I asked how long it would be before I actually got the results.

“With the exception of the blood test everything else is normal.  The lab will run the tests on the blood, and the results should be in tomorrow.  Don, take it easy, and enjoy your trip,” Dr. Loomis said.

I nodded, walked out to my car, and started it up.  The sounds of The Who’s behind Blue Eyes came over the old speakers and I began to sing along to it as I pulled out and headed to work.  When I got there I noticed that Louis was gone.  That was odd.  I was sure he would be here, and maybe even be chatting it up with Amanda.  I walked back toward where she had been, and to my surprise she was gone as well.  Shrugging it off I walked into the manager’s office.

“Mr. Riker, it’s a surprise to see you here; however, we could use you today.  Ms Cameron quit, and another employee has decided that it was a good time to take his vacation today.  Clock in, and get to work,” he said.

“Actually, I wanted to take a few days off.  I just won a trip, and there’s sort of time stamp of when I can take it,” I replied.

“Mr. Riker I believe that you’ve mistaken me for someone who actually cares.  Clock in, get to work, or clean out your locker,” he replied.

I looked at him and shook my head.

“Okay, I know that you can’t threaten me like that.  First, I’ve got two weeks of vacation time built up, and second I know that you need me.  I’m one of your best employees,” I said.

“Were one of my best employees.  Mr. Riker, if you want to go on this trip then go.  Clean out your locker, leave your name badge, and I suggest that you get to looking for work somewhere else.  It’s that, or you can do as you were told,” he said.

I turned toward the time clock.  I knew this job wasn’t the only job available, and I had psyched myself up for this earlier.  If I clocked in there was no way I would ever get to take my vacation in time.  Mr. Hill was the kind of manager who loved to lord his power over everyone.  I breathed out, looked at him, and smiled.

“Be seeing you then,” I said.

His eyes widened as I turned around and walked to my locker.

“I’m not kidding Riker!  If you do this then you are through here!  I can promise you that you’ll never work in this store again!” he shouted.

I grabbed a box, opened my locker, and pulled out the few MLP comics I had, a couple of dvd’s I had forgotten to take home with me, an old mug that I promptly threw into the trash, and finally a small pink friendship bracelet that Pinkie had given me.  I slipped the friendship bracelet on, made sure everything else was in there, and grinned at him.

“According to the company rules I should get paid for my two weeks of vacation that I never took.  So, have a nice life, and I’ll see you around,” I said.

I walked out of the building feeling free.  Sure, I was out of a job, but that place sucked ass anyway.  I couldn’t help but start singing the lyrics to Take over the World.  Tomorrow was going to be great, and after the trip I could find another job.  Hell, my next check from this place would more than pay two months’ worth of rent with all ease.

I hadn’t seen Pinkie at her job, so I figured that I would let her know the great news later.  I walked out to the car, got in, and once it started I headed home.  I fired up the computer and opened my email.  I had thought about calling Louis, but knowing him there was every chance he had his phone off.  It would be simpler to just shoot him an email and let him know what was going on.  Hell, maybe he’d want to get in on this.

‘Louis!

Buddy, this is fucking amazing news!  I won a trip man.  Seriously, off of that radio station I kept telling you about.  Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I’m heading out tomorrow to get my pass.  Yeah man a pass, a gateway pass, I’m going to Equestria!  This is going to be so awesome.  If you don’t mind to let Pinkie know that would be cool.  Who knows, maybe you’ll get a chance to come over too.  Oh, bud, Mr. Hill threw a major fit, and when I get back I’ll be finding something else to do.  Seems like he’s pissed off about Amanda up and quitting her job.  That’s kind of fucked up and weird.  Anyway, talk to you later buddy,

Don,’

Feeling better about there being an email sent I leaned back and thought about the next day.  Before long I stretched out and even though it was still early in the evening I was fast asleep.  The sound of shouting woke me up and I groaned as I stretched.  Falling asleep on my old couch wasn’t the best idea.  I could hear the shouting of my upstairs neighbors and I rolled my eyes.  There was always a fight about something.  Usually I could only make out a word or two, but not anything more than that.  A couple of weeks without having to deal with hearing a shouting match would be a slice of heaven.  I walked to my bedroom and grabbed my suitcase.  The clock said it was five am, and I figured that I could head toward the radio station and then take the two hour car trip to the gateway.

Still smiling I walked out of the house, locked it, and then walked to the car.  I unlocked it, put the suitcase in the trunk and then started the old car up.  After about ten minutes I was pulling into the radio stations parking lot.  I walked up and pressed the intercom button.  After I showed my ID through the camera they let me into a small waiting room for a few minutes before a young woman walked into the room with me.  She smiled, handed me a clip board to sign, which I did happily, and then took it back.  She then pulled out a sealed envelope.

“This has your Gateway pass, the one thousand three hundred three dollars spending money, and list of hotels, restaurants, and entertainment venues,” she said.

“Don’t you guys book the hotel?” I asked.

“Sorry, but unfortunately they don’t allow us to book hotels through the normal means we usually would.  Typically when booking a hotel we use a pay card for the studio, but the hotels in Equestria don’t accept digital payment because they’re not equipped for doing so.  That’s what this is for,” she said handing me another small envelope, “This is a stay voucher that is accepted at a few of the hotels in Equestria.  I’m going to assume that you’re going to want to go to Ponyville.”

I nodded and she grinned before pointing to a single name on the list.

“That is the Doo Drop Inn.  It’s one of the two hotels in Ponyville, and from what I understand the oldest.  It was around before Oakhill was built after travel between our worlds was commonplace,” she said.

“This voucher says it’s good for one night,” I replied.

“Yes, unfortunately that’s all they would give us a voucher for.  My suggestion is to decide if you like the hotel room, and work out an arrangement with the manager.  From what I understand the ponies are very hospitable,” she said.

I rolled my eyes, thanked her and walked out.   It didn’t matter.  I was still getting to go to Equestria.  I had a little over a thousand bucks for spending money, another six hundred that I took out of the bank for the same reason, and now I was ready to head out.  This was going to be awesome!

Two and half hours later it was more along the lines of being awesome when I finally got to get to the portal.  My physical had come back, I was clean, they were screening me, asking me a dozen questions, and I was being as honest as possible.

“Had I watched the show before the gateway opened?”

“yes,”

“Did I have any intention of trying to engage in any similar adventures that were presented on the show?”

“No,”

“Have I now, or ever, felt attracted to a native to Equestria either as presented on the show, or after they’ve crossed over?”

“yes,”

“Would I ever consider attempting to talk, or coerce, a native of Equestria into engaging in sexual acts with me?”

“Would I try to make someone do anything they didn’t want to?  No,”

“Have you now or ever been prone to violent outbursts?”

“No,”

“Have you now, or ever, read any of the dark or grim fan fictions based on the Equestrians?”

“Yes,”

“Would you want to attempt to emulate any of these fan fictions?”

“God no!”

“Do you understand that technology beyond 1989 does not work at all, and technology beyond 1980 doesn’t work completely correct.  Knowing this, is there any piece of technology that may fail you and would be considered important for health reasons?”

“Nope,”

“Sir, the Equestrian/United States Gateway law number 1701-A indicates that any visiting person will fall under the Equestrian Law and Government.  At that time you will become a tempory citizen of Equestria.  Because of this reason you will be granted dual citizenship.  This citizenship can be revoked by the Equestrian Government officials through the royal family.  Any action or punishment they choose to present has been given clearance by the United States.  It is also the same for the visiting civilians from Equestria.  Should you ‘marry’ while on vacation your spouse will be held under the same law and codes as you are held under.  Do you understand?”

“Yes,”

“Very well, Sir, by the power vested in my by the President of the United States I am glad to announce that you are cleared for gateway usage.  Do us all a favor and try not to piss off the locals.  We’ve had a hell of a time dealing with a few drunken brawls that’s broken out, and to be honest I don’t like dealing with the Royal Guards.  They’re far too much like the damned Marines,” the overweight woman said as she led me down a hall.

I walked into the room she indicated.  I could see a few ponies in there as well.  One of them looked at me, smiled and waved, and I returned it.  I walked up to a window and presented my gateway pass.

“Okay, one normal use trip to Equestria.  What’s your intended duration of stay?” she asked.

“Two weeks,” I said.

“Sure, it is,” she said as she stamped the gateway pass, “Go the right side of the room, go through the red door, walk down the hall, and open the blue door on the left.  Once you’re there the two techs will give you the okay to enter the gateway.”

I followed her directions and once I was in the room I looked at the gate itself.  Every story about it looking like something from Star-Quest was right.  It looked just like the gate the Ra-Guls had used to first come to humanity in South America.  The glowing purple looking pool of water, that was standing straight up, rippled slightly.  The two techs seemed to enter in a few codes and the rippling stopped.

“Ah, you must be the next traveler.  Let me see your pass,” one of the techs said, “Good, good.  Okay, you can walk through now.”

I followed his advice, walked into the portal, and I felt it completely surround me.  It felt like diving underwater, and suddenly I felt disoriented.  I fell forward, my suitcase tumbling over in front of me and I slowly stood up.  I shook my head trying to understand what happened.

“Welcome to Canterlot sir.  I’m Dusk Skies,” a bat pony mare said.

I studied her for a moment before I let out a small excited sound.

“Oh sweet Luna another Brony…  Why in the holy buck isn’t Star Shine here to deal with this?” she asked.

“He’s went to their side to be a representative, and that left you in charge Dusk.  Just deal with it,” another mare said.

She rolled her slitted eyes and looked at me.

“I’m sure that you’re ready to travel sir.  There is several various modes of transpiration, but if you are using your world’s currency I’m afraid it gives you two options.  Taking the train or walking.  If you want to take the train the station is down at the end of the road,” she said.

“Wait, it’s night outside?” I asked.

“Of course it’s night out.  If it wasn’t then Gleaming Shield would be doing this,” she said in a huff.

“Sorry, thanks for suggestions, and the train will be fine.  Would someone mind to show me to it?” I asked.

The other mare walked in and nodded.  Unlike her friend, who was wasn’t in full armor, she was.  I could see a tuff of her red mane sticking out from under her helmet.  Like her friend she was a sort of smokey gray color, but it didn’t look bad at all.  I walked out with her and followed her as she led me out of a small room and into the street.  I looked behind me and realized that I had been in part of Canterlot Castle.  I nearly squealed in excitement at the fact that I had actually been in the castle.  I instantly wondered if Princess Luna was up.  Of course she was up. She had to watch over the night.  I smiled like an idiot at that thought and the mare in front of me shook her head.  She looked at me with her green slitted eyes.

“So, business or pleasure?” she asked.

“Oh pleasure, I won a free trip, and I just had to come,” I said.

“That’s good, and welcome.  I’m sorry that Dusk is a little upset.  She… sort of had a boyfriend from your side a while back.  He was a Brony and it didn’t end too well,” she said.

“Sorry to hear that.  What happened?” I asked.

“She caught him in bed with Honey Pot.  To be honest I never thought that a human could run that fast before,” she replied.

“She chased him?” I asked.

“Oh, chase… yeah, you could say that, or you could say that she pulled her spear, screamed about him being an unfaithful… well I won’t go into it, and tried to give him a little memento to remember her by,” she replied.

“Oh…  Damn, glad it wasn’t me,” I said.

“My name is Artic Rose, and it’s a pleasure to meet someone who is at least honest about their feelings.  Although… I would suggest that you not wear that shirt around Princess Celestia,” she said.

I looked down and realized that I still had my Discord shirt on.

“Oh…  Wow… I can’t believe I forgot to take this thing off,” I said.

“It’s fine, although if you run into Discord I suggest that you let him talk as long as he wants to about how he’s represented in your world,” she suggested.

I nodded and soon found myself at the station.

“Thanks for the walk, and the information,” I said.

“Not a problem, and hey, if you’re back in Canterlot maybe we can hang out.  I don’t mind hanging with you bronies,” she said.

I nodded and watched as she trotted off.  Okay, Ponyville here I come.

The sound of the train station wasn’t exactly what I had expected.  Of course I expected to arrive about the same time, but instead I had arrived pretty late at night.  I walked into the station and up to the ticket booth.  A tired looking stallion stood there behind it.  He cocked an eyebrow at me for a moment before yawning into his hoof and pushing a schedule out to me.

“Next train will be here in fifteen minutes, it’s the last one for the night, and the morning trains begin at eight am.  That’s a good six hours after this one,” he said.

“Does this one go to Ponyville?” I asked.

He grinned and shook his head.

“Sure, it goes to Ponyville, but if you’re interested in meeting any of the elements, or Princess Sparkle herself, I’m afraid that you’re out of luck.  They are currently on Earth as representatives,” he said.

“That’s okay. I’ve already met one of the Elements, but right now I just really want to visit Ponyville,” I replied.

He nodded, tallied up the cost of the ticket and looked at me.

“That will be twelve bits or twenty American dollars,” he said.

I raised an eyebrow and then dug out a twenty.  I handed it to him, and watched as he held it up for a second.  Apparently they ran onto some counterfeit bills already.  He nodded, stamped a ticket and handed it to me.

“Once it gets here the train will be boarding for ten minutes.  I suggest that if you need to use the little colt’s room that you go ahead and do so now.  If not then board the train.  It’s a four hour trip from here to Ponyville by train.  That’s mainly because you have two stops along the way.  You’re allowed off of the train at both stops, but like here they only have a ten minute boarding and unboarding wait.  Since this is the last train I would suggest waiting to get off until you have more time.  Also, it seems that a lot of people end up going to Ponyville thinking that there’s a lot of stuff to do.  That’s actually not the case.  It’s a small town, and with the exception of the occasional festival it’s pretty uneventful.  If you’re looking for excitement I might suggest Las Pegasus,” the stallion suggested.

“Thanks, but I just really want a few days of peace, and I really want to see Ponyville.  I mean I had seen it on the show before,” I said before I could stop myself.

“Ah, I figured you were a brony.  The shirt is kind of give away.  Well, enjoy your trip,” he said.

I thanked him and walked out to the loading platform.  A few moments later I watched as a faint golden light began to glow brightly.  It rolled up to where I was standing and then past it.  Once it stopped I could see the train that I had seen so many times on the show.  Oh there was some differences.  While it looked similar the train actually looked like at train and not a cartoonish version of itself.  A tired looking brown mare with a blond mane stepped out of one of the cars.  She rings a bell for a second before she cleared her throat.

“Canterlot!  Everypony off that’s getting off!” she shouted.

A few moments a few staggering ponies and humans exited the train.  I watched as a few of them walked passed me and then the same mare rung her bell again.

“All aboard that’s coming aboard!” she shouted.

I walked toward her and showed her my ticket.  She dug out a ticket puncher and clipped the ticket twice.  She passed it back to me and stepped out of the way.  I found a seat and put my suitcase above me on the holding rack.  Once it was out of the way, and strapped down, I leaned back into my seat.  The mare climbed aboard the train after a moment and grabbed a small rectangle device.  She lifted it to her mouth and cleared her throat.

“Thank you for taking the Friendship Express Lines.  Engineer all passengers are aboard, so let’s get the train moving,” she said.

A few moments later the train jerked forward and I smiled as we began to pull away from Canterlot.  I watched as the hills passed by and the next stop we stopped at was a smaller town.  It seemed to be just a few miles outside of Canterlot. I would assume that it was a suburb of Canterlot.  We stopped, she made the announcement again, and a few moments later a mint green and white pony climbed aboard.  She appeared to be a female, and I watched her for a moment, and tried to put the color scheme with a pony that I would know from the show.  I was drawing a blank.  After a couple of minutes the mare walked back toward where I was sitting.  She simply took a seat and didn’t seem to pay me any attention.  I decided that the poor mare most likely had a tough day, and she didn’t want any attention right now.  This was bothering me because I knew that I knew her.  I wasn’t sure where from, but I knew that I knew her from somewhere.  I knew it wasn’t Colgate, or before the gateway opened there was an official name decided on of Minuette.  It wasn’t her though because this mare didn’t have the Colgate colors.  I racked my brain for a moment, but the truth was I was just too tired to really think too hard about it.

Sure, it was actually pretty early back on Earth, but I had driven a few hours, was interrogated in order to travel here, and then there was the fact it was night.  So instead I just stretched out, closed my eyes, and decided that a short nap was in order.  After all I would get there before too long.  As I closed my eyes I saw the mint green mare turn around and look at me with her golden eyes.  Those same eyes widened and she held in an excited gasp.  I tried to hold back on sleeping, but it seemed that I was just too tired to help it.  Moments later darkness found me.

Dating Advice

Be Careful what you wish for

Chapter 3 – ‘Dating Advice’

I let out a groan as I got up.  The last couple of days I had met with Lyra and we had went on a run.  I had then returned to the Doo Drop Inn, showered, and fell into the bed.  I wish that I could say that I savored every moment in a bed that was softer than anything I had ever slept on before, but my head would barely contact it before I was asleep.  Getting up was presenting me with a whole new set of aches and pains.  I grunted, stretched, and walked toward my suitcase to find another set of clothes.

Digging around inside I found what I was looking for.  A pair of shorts, and I quickly grabbed a shirt.  I hadn’t even paid attention to which shirt it was until I was down the stairs, out the front door, and looking into the yellow and red eyes of a being I wasn’t sure I expected to see. He easily stood as tall as I did, and it looked like he had absolutely no trouble standing on his hind legs.  A smirk crossed his lips.

“It’s so good to meet a fan,” he said.

I looked at the shirt and realized I had grabbed my Discord shirt.  The god of chaos was standing before me, and he seemed all too pleased with himself.

“Thanks,” I said.

“Oh, I should be thanking you!  All of you hoomans, or is it huemanes?  It doesn’t matter I suppose, but all of you have shown up and with no magic at all you’ve stirred up quite a bit of chaos!  Granted it’s not chocolate milk falling from the skies, but it was lovely to watch Celly get riled enough to demand that some of you leave Equestria,” he said.

“That’s something I’m trying not to do,” I said.

“Oh?  With a shirt like that,” he snapped his claws and disappeared.

I felt something slithering around my waist and looked down to see Discord in his cartoon form grinning up at me.

“I would figure that you’d be in on doing some wonderful chaos, or at least a prank or two!” he exclaimed.

“Actually…  I was going to meet Lyra, and maybe ask her if she wants to do something later,” I replied.

“A date?  How marvelous!  Tell me, what do you have in mind to wow your fair mare?” he asked.

I looked at him uncertain of how I should answer.  Every episode that had Discord in it he always caused trouble.  I was already open minded about dating an Equestrian, a pony, so that didn’t bother me, but there was every chance that if Discord got involved he would make things quite a bit harder.  I felt him squirm around my waist, move up my back, and then his cartoonish head popped off of the shirt and leaned against my shoulder.

“Oh, I know, you could visit Ghastly Gorge!  It is quite a sight from the top, and if you go to the bottom of the gorge I’ve heard it’s breathtaking, in more than one way,” he said.

“I’d rather not end up being trapped under a rock, or in the middle of a landslide.  Actually, she did say that she wanted to watch some of the movies that had been brought over.  Is there a theater in Ponyville?” I asked.

Once again Discord snapped his claws and appeared in front of me.  I had thought that he would be bored at the prospect of a movie, but instead there was a look of childlike delight on his face.

“There certainly is a theater, quite a large one actually, and it was built recently.  Tell me, are you going to take her to that wonderful movie where the humans cause all of that chaos because they shut down a device that was holding captured spirits?  That was wonderful!  It was like seeing one of these ponies ignore Twilight Sparkle when she said not to do something!”  he howled in laughter.

He snapped his claws and a moment later I watched the sky turn purple, a stream of light shot up from down the street, and ponies everywhere started running toward it.  Some of them would maybe recognize it, but I knew it.  I had watched the movie a dozen times, and I knew exactly what that light was.  It wasn’t but a moment later several ponies came screaming back toward where I was and past me before the light disappeared and Discord cackled at the wonderful joke he had just pulled.

I thought about saying something, but then it occurred to me that I had better not say a word to him.  Discord was for all rights and purposes a god, and I didn’t have a stitch of magic.  If he wanted to banish me to another dimension it wouldn’t be a problem to him.  I instantly wished for someone, or somepony to do something.  That’s when I heard the sweetest and softest voice I had ever heard.  It was behind me, and I knew without a doubt who it was that was talking to Discord and chastising him for him scaring everypony.

“That was very mean Discord.  I thought that you had stopped doing things like that,” she said.

I turned to see a butter yellow Pegasus talking to the god of chaos.  He looked at her and his smile drooped a little.

“I’m sorry Fluttershy, but if I don’t get at least one prank in a day I start to feel rusty.  Here, I’ll fix it,” he said.

He snapped his claws again and everything reset.  Most of the ponies still looked shocked, worried, scared, but none of them looked any worse for the wear.  Fluttershy smiled at him and then turned to me.  She eyed me cautiously for a moment.

“My, that’s an interesting choice for a shirt,” she said.

“It’s wonderful isn’t it?  A fan, a real fan of my work has shown up here of all places!  And on top of that he has asked for my help in making sure that his date with Ms…  Lyra wasn’t it?  Yes, yes it was.  He wants my help in making sure that his date with Lyra goes smoothly.  I thought that it would be a wonderful chance to show how much of a friend I could be,” he said.

“Oh, that sounds like fun.  Maybe we could both help.  I know a wonderful place that sells flowers,” she suggested.

“That’s the spirit!” he exclaimed.

“Wait…” I tried to say before I was pulled along behind them.  I had a feeling that this wasn’t going to end well.

Voting time

Okay, as you might have guessed this isn't the next chapter.  Sorry for the false hope that it would be.  This is instead a bit of voting for the movie, and subject chaos, that Don is going to be taking Lyra to.  Have it narrowed down to three choices.  Being that I'm keeping with Drax99's vision of this universe (basically there are some things that are exactly the same, and most are similar, but off, in this other world.) I thought it would be best to have these three possible movies, and of course the added chaos that will undoubted spring up because of them.

Movie one: Ghostbusters:  We already know that Discord is a fan.  After all there was more than enough hints in the last chapter that he had seen the movie, and loved the chaos that breaks out in it.  Going with this movie we can almost expect Discord to give Don, Lyra, and most likely everypony else, a close up view of that universe, or at least meld that universe with this one for a short spell.

Movie two: Return to the Crystal Empire - This is an original movie created by a Hollywood film team in the Crystal Empire.  Granted permission by Princess Candace, Captain Armor, and the citizens of the Crystal Empire the movie explores an ancient pony myth.  The myth is a dark necromancer that had taught King Sombra everything he knew, and for his trouble he was killed.  It features a batpony guard from Canterlot who has come baring the news of the prophecy of what is to come.  The batpony stallion guard is received with uncertainty.  Despite not truly being welcomed by the citizens he stays, helps train and ready the guard, and when the time comes he helps fight against the Necromancer and her dark minions.  Once the Necromancer is defeated the batpony guard isn't only accepted by all of the citizens, but he is asked to stay.  He breaks his own traditions of being a Lunar Pegasus and marries a Crystal Empire Earth Pony mare.  The movie ends with the two of them sitting next to each other looking at the giant mountain they used the bury the Necromancer, and the 'Terror' she resurrected.  Of course we can all imagine that Discord would enjoy the bit of Chaos the Necromancer caused, and I could see him messing with Don and Lyra in this movie as well.

Movie three: The Morbid Tale of the Madam.  A dark horror movie produced by both Fillywood and Hollywood studios.  This story takes place in a small community were the foals of the area are beginning to disappear.  No one knows what's going on, but as the foals disappear Madam Curio displays new exotic creatures.  Creatures that seem to be extremely intelligent, willing to obey, and strangely familiar.  It isn't until Dusty Trails comes in that it's discovered what has been happening to the foals.  With the realization elevated everypony chases after Madam Curio only to find her with the latest foal.  That foal is screaming in pain as she injects something into her.  All of the ponies watch in horror as the foal is transformed once again, but time into a human child.  The human child screams and gets away running to her parents who are standing there.  both of them take her into their forelegs, and then the towns people fall on the madam injecting her with her own elixir.  She screams, transforms, and when it is over what they see before them isn't the same mare, but rather a small defenseless mouse.  Dusty trails explains that the elixir doesn't just change someone.  It changes someone into something they fear that those who love them will never be able to love.

Everypony looks back at the mouse in time to see a black cat, the same black cat that Madam Curio had doted on and loved, jumped down from its perch and snatch the mouse up in its teeth.

Okay...  on this I could see Discord actually taking a hint from the movie and performing something similar on those in attendance.

So, that's the three choices.  Let me know which one sounds the best, and I'll go ahead with it.

Adventures in Dating

Be Careful what you wish for

Chapter 4 – ‘Adventures in Dating’

Any doubt that I was heading toward a train wreck of an evening began to climb into certainty.  I wasn’t sure if Discord was doing this just to mess with me, or he really was trying to help out.  Our first stop was a clothing store.  It wasn’t the Carousel Boutique, but then again Rarity’s shop was basically closed while she was on Earth.  Fluttershy had explained how everyone had agreed that she needed to stay and take care of her animals.  I think that I understood the government’s reasons for it.  If Fluttershy’s stare could still work in the other world then the meat business would be out of business.

Regardless of her explaining why she was still here I found myself in a suit I didn’t feel at all comfortable with.  It wasn’t that the suit was bad, but it was a purple pinstripe suit, with a green vest, purple bow tie, and a crisp white shirt under it all.  The shoes, both purple with green soles, matched the suit perfectly.  I looked like a demented, psychotic, and sociopathic clown.  Discord looked over the suit once, and shook his head.

“It’s missing something,” he muttered.

I cringed as he snapped his claws and the suit looked perfectly normal on one side.  My left side was perfect, a fantastic black and white pinstripe suit.  I looked to my right side and saw the purple suit still there.  Now I looked like a homicidal clown with a possible multiple personality disorder.  I looked up at him and then at Fluttershy who was eyeing the suit for a moment and shook her head.  She walked back toward the racks and returned with a white shirt, red bowtie, and a pair of kaiki pants.  She passed them to me and then she looked at Discord.

“Let’s try this,” she said.

“Oh how fun.  You can dress him up, and then I can take a turn.  Although, I must ask why did you choose that suit of clothes?  They look positivity boring,” he remarked.

“He’s trying to impress a mare.  Simple is usually the best way to do that,” she said.

“Oh, simple?  Why didn’t you say so?” he asked.

I had no sooner stepped into changing room, started to slip out of the suit Discord had gotten for me when suddenly everything flashed bright and I was standing in front of Discord and Fluttershy again.  Only this time there was a slight breeze that was touching me.  I closed my eyes, covered myself, and headed back to the dressing room.

“Oh my…” Fluttershy said from outside of the changing room.

“Those huemanes do look strange don’t they?  I suppose that’s as good of a reason for wearing clothes all of the time as any I suppose,” Discord said.

“It was all… there…  I… oh my,” she said again.

I closed my eyes as I dressed in the shirt, bowtie, and slacks.  I wasn’t sure if I wanted to step back out again, but I knew that if I stayed in here there would be every chance that Discord would simply snap his claws again and I would be standing in front of him and Fluttershy again.  I took a deep breath, stepped out in the clothes, and noticed the large blush the covered most of Flutershy’s muzzle.

“I like this better,” I said.

Fluttershy nodded, but she really didn’t answer.  I looked at her and saw her blushing and looking away.

“Fluttershy are you okay?” I asked.

“I’m fine,” she said almost so low that I couldn’t hear.

Discord looked at his friend, back to me, and then back to her.

“Do we want to do simple again?” he asked.

“NO!” we both shouted.

“Ah, good, I had thought that maybe that was the problem.  So, this is…  it needs something.  Something that stands out and…  Oh, I know what it needs!” he exclaimed before he snapped his claws and he was standing beside me in a similar suit of clothes, “It needs a wing-stallion!  Tell me Fluttershy how would you like to go along and make sure that our new friend has a good date tonight?”

“I don’t know…  he might want to be alone Discord,” she suggested.

“Nonsense!  Things are always better when friends are there, and besides he did say he wanted to take her to the theater.  That would be a treat hmmm?” he asked.

I could see Fluttershy going over it in her mind, and desperately I hoped that she would say no.  It wasn’t that I was afraid.  Okay, I was a little afraid.  I was afraid that Discord was going to be pulling pranks all night, and any chance I had of having a good date with Lyra was going to go right out the door.  Maybe I was really expecting too much anyway.  Lyra did like me, but that didn’t mean that I should really expect to get a positive answer on asking her out for a date.  If I had learned anything back on Earth it was that women, or mares presumably, were a force that no man, or stallion, could ever hope to understand.

“Stop trying to talk yourself out of asking her out,” Discord said as he rested his arm on my shoulder.

I looked at him, and he was no longer sporting his cartoonish body.  He had long since gone back to what he truly looked like.  To be honest his features in this world conveyed more disorder than it did in the cartoon. His head really was one like one of the ponies, with the exception of a deer antler and a ram’s horn sticking out of it.  He didn’t have a mane, and that one large predatory tooth hung from his maw.  Oddly it seemed to switch sides of his mouth at will. From what I could gather it seemed to do so when he turned his head.  Every part of him was far more real than I contest to understanding.  In a way seeing him in the cartoonish form had been a little easier to deal with.  Maybe it was because I had been used to that form long before the world found out that these ponies existed.

He looked at me and grinned.

“Okay, but how do I even know she’ll want to date me?” I asked.

“Oh, well, you don’t, but that’s what makes this so much fun!” Discord said excitedly.

“Fun?” I asked.

“Yes, this is fun.  Think of it dear boy.  You have no idea of what will happen.  It’s a surprise, a delicious surprise no matter what the outcome.  She might accept your proposal, go out, have a wonderful time, and start a relationship with you, or she might tell you that she values your friendship too much.  There’s also the chance that she’ll go out with you, have a horrible time and ask that you never call her again.  It’s so chaotic, and it’s so wonderful!  Naturally I’m hoping that the first outcome happens,” he said.

I looked at him and then at Fluttershy again.

“It will be fine, and besides, I’m sure that she’ll enjoy going out with you.  You’ve already made a friend with Discord, and that’s impressive,” Fluttershy said.

I looked at Fluttershy.  I wasn’t sure if she was being serious or not, but after a few moments I figured that she was at least being sincere, and that was close enough to being serious.  I breathed out a sigh and then straightened myself up.

“Okay, let’s do this,” I said.

“You need to pay for those before you leave,” a voice said.

I turned to see an adolescent mare behind the counter.  A tiara adorned her head, and I recognized her right off.

“Diamond Tiara?” I asked.

“Who wants to know?” she asked.

“Where’s Silver Spoon?  Why aren’t you in school?” I asked.

“Silver Spoon is too busy hanging out with her little colt friend, I’m out for break, and it’s none of your business,” she snapped back.

“Okay… Then I’ll just take these clothes,” I said.

“That will be twenty – five bits, or thirty – five American.  If you’re paying in your currency I ask that you please count it out,” she said.

I held my tongue and walked up to the counter.  I pulled out my wallet, and then I began counting out the bills to her.  She looked at them, then at me, and then shrugged before she wrote out a receipt.  She hoofed it over to me and then took the money and placed it into the register.

“Have a good day,” I said.

I started to walk out before she cleared her throat.

“Sir, you did make a purchase at our store, and my daddy has told me that I have to do this each time.  So, just please give me a minute,” she said.

She walked around the counter, gave me a hug, and then trotted back around it again.

“Don’t read anything else into that.  I’m supposed to thank everypony that shops here,” she said.

“Thanks, I guess,” I said.

I walked out and looked back.  I caught the adolescent mare staring at me for a moment before she realized that she had been caught.  She quickly turned away, and I just wondered what was going on.  We walked almost all of the way back to the Doo Drop Inn and I turned toward The Little White Lyre.  Fluttershy watched me walk up to the door.  I wondered if the butter yellow Pegasus was actually more nervous than I was.  I knocked on the door, and a moment later the mint green unicorn walked out.  She turned toward me and smiled.

“Don!” she exclaimed as she stood on her hind legs and gave me a hug.

I hugged her back and let out a small sigh of relief.  If she like me this much, then there was every chance in the world that she wouldn’t be opposed to us going on a date.

“I was wondering if you would like to go out to dinner and maybe catch a movie…” I said before her eyes widened.

She looked like the preverbal deer in the headlights for a second before she nodded furiously and tried to talk.

“I’d love to!  Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!” she exclaimed.

“I think that I should be thanking you,” I said.

She grinned, dropped onto the ground and then looked at me as I stood there in my new clothes.

“Ummm… When did you want to go out?” She asked.

“Oh, oh man I came over here right after I bought the new.  Would tomorrow be okay?”  I asked.

She nodded, smiled at me, and walked back inside of the bar.  I had learned that she lived over it, and for the most part it looked like she was doing well enough.  I turned around and saw Fluttershy and Discord.  Both of them smiled, and I wondered if I could wear these clothes tomorrow.  I debated for a few seconds and decided that I was going to have to get another suit.  I started to walk back toward the store when something poofed into my arms.

“Here you go,” Discord said.

“What’s this?” I asked.

He grinned and pointedly looked at the bundle in my arms.

“I thought that you might want a new set of clothes.  It would save you a trip, and besides, I have a feeling someone with your tastes will enjoy them,” he said.

My first thoughts was of the psychotic clown suit he had me try on earlier.  I smiled, looked at the bundle, and to my surprise it wasn’t really that bad.  It was another collared shirt, blue, a black bowtie, and a pair of black slacks.  It was stunned.  Discord had given me a nice set of clothes.  I studied them for a moment longer and noticed the logo on the pocket was the cartoonish Discord striking a dramatic pose.

“Thanks, this is awesome!” I exclaimed.

He looked pleased, turned to Fluttershy and extended an arm.

“You had better set a time for your date tomorrow,” he said over his shoulder.

The realization that I didn’t set a time struck me.  I turned and walked back to her door, knocked again, and she opened a window up top.

“What time tomorrow?” I asked.

She smiled, leaned out, and promptly fell.  I rushed forward to catch her and found myself, and my new clothes I was wearing, lying in the dirt.

“Owwww my flank,” she grumbled.

“Sorry about that,” I said.

She shook her head and slowly got up.  When she did she winced slightly.  I could see that she was in pain.  I stood up, put my new suit of clothes discord had made me on my shoulder, and then gently picked her up.  She looked at me as I held her.  To my surprise she wasn’t overly heavy.  She still weighed in a bit heavier than she looked, but she wasn’t overly heavy.  I started toward her bar and opened the front door.

“I… I can make it from here,” she said sounding nervous.

“It’s okay.  I’m kind of the reason you fell, and I would feel awful if I didn’t help you up the stairs,” I said.

We climbed the stairs and I walked into a room.  I wasn’t really wasn’t expecting to see the number of photos I saw in there.  It wasn’t insane, but it was odd.  There was photos of people talking with ponies, photos of a guy with what looked like a burned face talking to a Lunar Pegasus.  Beyond those I could see more.  I could see pictures of Berry Punch, and a small filly walking with a human male.  Berry didn’t look drunk, and if the fandom was right the filly was Berry Pinch, and she looked excited to be walking between the two of them.

I looked at the number of photos and then I looked at Lyra who was trying to hide her face.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“You must think that I’m some kind of stalker,” she said.

“the thought did cross my mind” I thought for a second.

“No, I don’t think so.  You’re interested in humans.  You’ve believed in us for a long time, and you want to get to know us.  I don’t see a problem with that,” I said.

She seemed to breathe a sigh of relief at my words and leaned into me.  I carried her over to her bed and laid her down gently into it.  She winced in pain again, and I looked at her back leg.  It didn’t look broken, but then again I wasn’t a doctor of any kind.  Fluttershy would be closer than I was to a doctor, and I didn’t think that her expertise really walked hand in hand with ponies.  I sat down next to Lyra as she tried to relax and gently scratched behind her ear.  That was something the fandom was right about.  She leaned into it, loving the sensation of having that part of her head scratched and rubbed.

“That feels wonderful,” she remarked, “Hands, I still can’t believe it.  You humans have the most marvelous hands,” she said.

“Thanks, but are you still hurting?” I asked.

She started to sit up and her face grimaced in pain again.

“So yeah, you are.  Why don’t I go get the doctor?” I asked.

“Would you mind asking for Nurse Redheart?  I hate to do that, but she’s helped me with this kind of thing before,” Lyra said.

“You fell from your window before?” I asked.

“Not exactly…  I did however over extend my hind leg before, and she really helped with it.  That’s what it feels like now,” she replied.

I nodded, got up, and felt her hoof on her right hand.

“You’ll come back right?” she asked.

“Of course I will.  We can call this our pre-date,” I said.

She smiled, leaned back, and I walked outside.  I had a date, with a mare, and right now I was going to get said mare some medical attention.  Okay, that last part was a little weird.  I couldn’t deny how weird it sounded, even in my head, as I walked toward the hospital.  Lyra had been good enough to lead me around Ponyville a few times, and in those times I had learned where the hospital was, where Golden Oaks Library was, and of course where Sugarcube Corner was.  There was even a run out to Sweet Apple Acres.

I will never, ever, ever agree to go on a run to Sweet Apple Acres again.  The show didn’t express how far out the farm is.  It’s not a mile or two, but instead Sweet Apple Acres is a good eight and a half miles outside of town.  It’s a seventeen mile run, and not something I was really ready to do.  Luckily Lyra was pretty beat when we got back after that run, and I was able to make it to the pharmacy and get a rejuvenation potion.  Once I downed it I felt better, for about fifteen minutes, which was long enough to get back to my hotel, collapse into bed, and sleep well into the next morning.  The potion did more than wear off the pain for a short time though.  It actually did help me heal up overnight.  I wondered if that was the kind of potion that Nurse Red Heart would use on Lyra.

I arrived at the hospital, walked inside, and looked at Nurse Redheart who was busy looking at an ‘Earth’ Magazine.  Of everything that could be popular over here I was surprised to find out that International Photographic and United Today ‘Lives of the people and ponies!’ was the most popular.  In all fairness Nurse Redheart was reading a International Photographic.  She put the magazine down and looked at me.

“Is something wrong Don?” she asked.

I walked toward her and breathed out calmly.

“Lyra fell out of her top story window, I caught her, and she thinks that might have over extended her hind leg,” I said.

“Oh,” she replied as she put the magazine down.

I watched as dug around in an old style refrigerator, pulled out an ice pack, grabbed a syringe of what looked like the rejuvenation potion, and followed me back to Lyra’s place.  One we were inside she walked toward Lyra and placed the cold compress on her leg.

“How does it hurt?” she asked.

“It hurts to walk on that leg.  If I move it very much I feel some pain like it’s over extended again,” she said.

Nurse Redheart looked at it and then shook her head.

“It’s not over extended Lyra, it’s almost popped out of place.  I’m going to give you a rejuvenation shot.  It’s going to make you not feel any pain for about ten minutes.  In that ten minutes I’m going to pop your leg completely back into place.  You are going to be hurting in a little while, and you need to be around somepony that can help take care of you tonight,” she said.

“Should I come back to the hospital?” Lyra asked looking at the ground.

We were set to take our first date, tonight was a pre-date, sort of, and although I knew that I didn’t have to, but I wanted to help her out. I wanted to stay even if my reason for staying here with her was for no other reason than making a good impression.

“I’ll stay and take care of you Lyra. I don’t mind,” I said.

She looked surprised, happy, but surprised.  Nurse Redheart smiled, gave me a small nod, and began to trot off out of Lyra’s apartment.  I walked over to her and gently scratched behind her ear again.  She moved her head into it and seemed to really enjoy the feeling for a few minutes.  I finally stopped and smiled at her.

“So, can I get you something to drink?” I asked.

“Drink, sure I’d like a glass of…  Oh no,” she said her eyes widening.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I can’t work my bar tonight!  I need to work it tonight so that I can get the money together to try out for the Royal Canterlot Orchestra!” she said trying to get up.

“You play?” I asked.

She gave me a ‘well duh’ look and pointedly looked at her cutie mark.  I knew it was a harp, but I had no idea that she actually played one.  There were several well written fan fictions that had her playing a harp, but it never occurred to me that she actually played.

“I’d love to hear you play sometime,” I said.

She smiled, happily again, and leaned toward me.  I was grateful that she wasn’t feeling the absolute amount of pain that she would undoubtedly be feeling later when the potion wore off.  I hugged her, a little surprised at how confident I was being.  Maybe being here was doing it, or maybe it was because I felt something for Lyra.  I wasn’t sure, but what I was sure about was the fact that I wanted to make her happy.

“I’ll work your bar tonight, and I’ll check on you.  I don’t mind to do it, and I did work in a bar back when I went to college,” I said.

“Did you serve drinks?” she asked.

“I bartended a little,” I replied.

She breathed out and nodded.

“Okay, I won’t ask you for the tips, because those are yours, but everything else in the register right?” she asked.

“Lyra, I wouldn’t try to take anything from you.  As for the tips, just consider it my donation to seeing you be able to try out for the Royal Canterlot Orchestra,” I said.

She looked at me sort of stunned, and then it happened.  It happened fast, quicker than I imagined it would.  She leaned over and kissed me.  It was deep, meaningful, and full of promise.  I pulled her close and felt her forelegs wrap around my neck.  She pulled back and laid her head on my shoulder.

“You’re so sweet, thank you, thank you so much,” she said.

I held her.  I held her and felt the softness of her coat through my shirt.  She was warm.  That was something else the fan fictions had been right about.  Her little body was producing a lot of heat. I wondered if they had a higher metabolism.  It would explain why they could eat so many sweets and never really seem to suffer any consequences from it.  Hell, Pinkie was still scarfing down sweets on Earth, or was when I last saw her, and she didn’t look like she gained very much if any weight.  She shifted until she had her head in my lap and I was sitting there holding her.

I could stand to do this for a while.  She became comfortable, and before long I heard the slight sound of her snoring.  I looked at myself in the mirror and realized that with the exception of a garter on my arms I looked the part of a bartender in a small town at the turn of the twentieth century.  Then again I thought back to my days of bartending and remembered how my boss had told me about how the garters meant how many working girls were in a saloon.  Maybe not wearing them would be better than wearing them.

I gently laid her head down and walked out of the room and made my way down stairs.  Once I was in the bar itself I looked at a schedule she had written out on a small black board behind the bar.  It opened at six pm, so another two hours, and it stayed open until two am.  That wasn’t that different from any bar on Earth.  I checked the menu for the bar as well.  Most of the drinks were variations of the ones I had made on Earth.  Hard Cider, Trottingham Beer, Griffinale, Highball, The Trotting Dead – which seemed to be a variation of the zombie, Lunar Island Iced Tea, Temple of the Sun – which looked like it was a variation of the House of the Rising Sun, and hot dang seemed to be the main staples of the bar itself.  I noticed a small grill and read off what she had fixed on normal nights.

“Hay burgers, hay fries, Dandelion sandwiches, and fish bites,” I read off the list.

That shouldn’t be too difficult.  The fries could be fixed about thirty minutes before the bar opened.  I didn’t want to fix the burgers or the sandwiches too earlier, and if the fish bites were what I thought they were I could put them into the cooking oil a good fifteen minutes before the bar opened.  I turned around and saw that Lyra had used an older system of seeing where she was on her bottles.  Each one had been marked with a permanent marker.  I looked for a Click N’ Bic, Sharps, or a Rosey Art marker, but I didn’t see any of them.  I sloshed one of the bottles around and saw that the mark actually moved a few times before resettling again on the bottle.  It was an actual magic marker.

I laughed for a moment, put the bottle back up, and walked back upstairs.  I found Lyra sleeping soundly.  Thinking that she might get thirsty I walked back downstairs and found a tumbler, put some ice out of an older style refrigerator into it, and filled it with water.  I walked back upstairs and sat the glass of water by her bed.  I started to leave when her eyes fluttered open.  She looked up at me for a moment and shook her head.  Her mane fluttered around for a moment before settling back in place.

“How long was I…? Ouch,” she said winching as she turned over.

I sat down beside her and looked at her upper hind leg.  I hadn’t massaged a pony before, but one of the physical electives I took in college was professional massage.  It was more or less a semester of learning how to give deep tissue and Swedish massages.  I didn’t start massaging right away, but instead I looked at her.

“If you want I might be able to help make that muscle relax,” I said.

She looked at me curiously for a moment before she nodded.  I had her lay on her side, and slowly I started working on her muscle.  I could feel it corded up like steel.  I knew that there was a spa in town, and I knew that the two sisters Aloe and Lotus Blossom were the two trained masseuses here.  I hoped that what I knew was similar to what they knew, and that their physiology wasn’t too different.  I started light, with a soothing Swedish massage.  She let out a small groan that slowly turned into a moan.  As I worked the muscle I could feel it loosening a little.  That was good because in order for it to stay that way I needed to do some deep tissue massage work.  I didn’t want to chance popping her hip out of place, but I knew that I could work a little further down and it should be safe enough.  Once her muscle was relaxed enough I began working deeper.  She grunted a little and looked at me worriedly.

“I promise that I’m not doing anything to hurt you,” I said.

She nodded and I watched as she closed her eyes and tried to focus on something else.  If I knew the deep tissue work like I thought I remembered it then she would start feeling really good in about half an hour.  I worked with the muscle for a while longer, and then I pulled my hands away.  Once they were pulled back I released her leg.

In normal conditions the massage would take a little while for the effects to be felt, but it seemed that the rejuvenation potion was actually working pretty hard to make the effects felt a lot sooner.  She stretched her leg, and she didn’t wince in pain.  Instead she stood up on it.  I watched as she stepped off of her bed, stood on her hind legs, and moved her left hind leg around.

“That’s amazing,” she whispered.

“I’m just glad to help,” I managed to get out before she hugged me.

It was a hard hug, one that I returned happily.  Standing on her hind legs she was eye level with me.  She leaned in and for the second time I got a kiss.  Like before she put meaning into it.  She didn’t just kiss and turn away, but rather she showed promise of what she intended.  I kissed her back and hugged her close.  Finally we both broke the kiss and backed away.  She grinned, a little sheepishly, and then looked at the door.  I knew that she was still considering my working down there with her.

“If you want I don’t mind to help you out tonight.  Do you normally have somepony wait on tables or help behind the bar?” I asked.

She shook her head.

“Bon-Bon used to wait on the tables sometimes.  Berry usually brings over a shipment of her wine and spirits, and once in a while if she needs the extra bits she’ll help cook and serve the food, but I really haven’t had anypony to help in a good long while,” she said.

“Then consider me your help for this evening.  Tell me what you would like me to do and I’ll do it,” I said.

She stood looking surprised for a moment and then a bright smile, the same smile that I’ve seen a few times since being here, crossed her face.

“Okay, how about you come downstairs with me and we’ll prep for tonight,” she said.

The next several hours passed in almost a blur.  I worked the floor waiting, then moved to the grill, then I bartended for a while.  The entire time Lyra would sneak little peeks, and once or twice I felt something touch me when nothing was there.  I figured it was magic, and I also believed it was Lyra.  As the night progressed I learned that Ponyville also had a few other citizens that never really made it into the show.  There was Ironclaw the III, a griffon land owner who owned quite a bit of land here in Equestria and in his native homeland.  I saw him sitting next to a well groomed mare.  The mare looked somewhat familiar, but I shook it off.

Near them was a mare that every Brony knew.  She was the focus of dozens of songs, hundreds of fan fictions, and I dare say it she was actually as popular as any of the mane six.  I walked over and placed their drinks on the table.

“Thanks,” she said.

The voice was the absolute same.  I didn’t know how JanAnimations had gotten it right, but obviously they had.  I looked at Button’s mom and an Earth Pony that looked sort of like a grown up version of Button Mash himself.

“Can I get you anything else?” I asked.

The stallion rubbed his chin and then nodded.

“Actually Love and I are a bit hungry.  What do you say to an order of hayfries?” he asked her.

“That would be wonderful Chip.  Oh, if you don’t mind to remind Lyra to bring me the non-alcoholic Cider that would be great,” she said rubbing her stomach.

I nodded and walked back.  I was dating Lyra Heartstrings, and I had just talked to Love Tap and Chip.  I was king of the Bronies.

Toward two am the night slowed.  Berry Punch had shown up with her human friend.  I noticed that she was wearing a gold band on her left hoof.  I nodded to the gentleman who returned the gesture.  The two of them helped bring in Lyra’s order for Berry’s wine and a couple bottles of whiskey.  Once that was done they left and I helped Lyra stock the wine on the shelves and put the rest of it down into the cellar.

We finished up and I could smell myself through my clothes.  I had worked pretty hard tonight and it was showing.  I started to get ready to leave when Lyra stopped me.

“I thought that you were going to stay,” she said.

“I’d love to, but I thought that you just wanted me to stay to make sure you were better,” I said.

She shook her head no, and led me back upstairs.  She pointed to the bathroom, and then she led me to a guest room.

“I really like you Don, I guess better than like.  Yeah, it’s better than just liking.  If you want stay in the guest room you can, but I don’t have a problem with you staying in here with me.  I’m a grown mare, and…  I’ve never had a one night stand.  I don’t intend to start now.  You’re not going to be one are you?” she asked.

“No, I don’t have any intention of being one,” I said.

She smiled, caught me in a kiss, and then opened the bathroom door.

“Go ahead and get started.  I’ll take mine after you take yours,” she said.

I walked in and saw the tub.  It was a brilliant white, deep, and about half as long again as my tub at home.  It was also a little wider, but I figured that made sense.  I saw that she had an old fashioned shower head and decided on a quick shower.  I turned on the hot water and after a few seconds it started getting warm.  I quickly got into the shower, washed off, and was done before too long.  After that I got out, found a towel, and began drying myself off.   I wrapped the towel around me, thanking whatever deity was listening that it was long enough, and opened the door.  Lyra stood there.  She stood up, squeezed past me, and I felt her rub against me for a moment.

I heard her get into the shower, and I my mind raced with the possibilities of what would happen.  To say I was nervous would be an understatement.  I felt nervous, uncertain, and wondering if I was even going to be something she wanted.  A few moments later she came into the room and looked at me.  Her mane was still wet, clinging to her face, and she looked at me with a sort of determination.  She strolled over to me confidently, and right as she reached me she tripped.  I caught her before she fell and she gave me a sheepish grin again.

She leaned into me and kissed me once again.  I leaned back letting her push me onto the bed.  She straddled my waist.

“It’s been forever, and I only really want to do this with someone I’m certain of,” she said.

“It’s been longer for me,” I said.

She looked at me surprised and then leaned forward.

“You’re… you’re a virgin?” she asked.

The awkward feeling rushed back to me.  Here I was with a beautiful mare, and the fact that I had never been laid was stepping out and making itself known.  I expected her to say something more about it, or even poke a little fun at me, but instead she nuzzled my neck.

“You have no idea how happy that makes me.  Of anypony, and I mean anypony, you could have chosen you chose me.  You chose to give this to me,” she said.

She looked so happy words couldn't quite describe it, and then she began kissing down my neck.

“I’m going to make sure you know how happy I am you chose me,” she said.

I felt her slightly rough tongue lick down me.  It didn’t take much for me to get excited, and before long I felt the warmth of her mouth surrounding my length.  Her tongue wrapped around it skillfully, more so than I would have imagined, and soon she was bobbing her head up and down.  I felt myself grunting in time with her and I grabbed her hoof.  It seemed that she knew what I was meaning because she worked even harder.  Moments later I felt the release and she brought her head back.  I watched as she swallowed, and then she moved up me again.  She kissed me deeply, and I obliged.

There was a new taste on her tongue, something not completely wrong, but off.  I knew what it was without question, but at the moment I didn’t care.  I didn’t care about anything except for the moment happening.  I felt her hooves move onto my shoulders, and I felt an invisible hand gently stroking me.  She looked into my eyes and what I could see there wasn’t just a fevered lust.  It was a sort of trust.  It was the kind of trust that you reserved for those closest to you.  I felt the warmth radiating off of her and a moment later I was inside of her.

Every mention of doing this went out the window.  I had joked about this before with Louis, told him how if I was him things would be different between me and Pinkie.  I was wrong.  I was wrong because things would never even be close to being the same between Lyra and me.  We weren’t going to just be friends after this.  We would be a couple, and despite whatever may come I could help but fall in love with that fact.  My hands moved down her back, and I cupped her flank.  She let out a throaty moan.  I felt her hips moving faster, harder, grinding against my pelvis with a need I didn’t even know existed.

“Mine,” she moaned.

She leaned forward and bit my shoulder.  I winced a little but then she sat back up and I felt her clench inside.  That sudden force caused me to explode inside of her.

“MINE!” she screamed.

She collapsed on top of me and breathed hard.

“I love you,” she breathed out.

I knew what she needed to hear.  I knew what I needed to say, and the truth was I did feel it.  I kissed the top of her head.

“I love you too,” I whispered.

We fell asleep like that.

Who You Gonna Call?

Be Careful what you wish for

Chapter 5 – ‘Who you Gonna Call?’

When the first rays of sunlight broke through I woke up to see a familiar face that I wasn’t expecting to see.

“Well, you certainly caused a reason to cancel the date tonight didn’t you?” Discord asked.

I felt Lyra snuggle deeper against me and I looked at him.

“I’m still taking her out tonight,” I said.

“Oh Goodie, I have been looking forward to movie.  Maybe we should go ahead and wake her up!  That way she can weigh in on what movie she wants to watch,” he said.

Before I could argue he snapped his claw and a megaphone appeared in his lion paw.  He cleared his throat and then opened his mouth.

“Lyra,” he whispered.

She didn’t move or budge.  He shrugged his shoulders, tossed the megaphone behind him and stretched his back.

“Oh well, I guess that didn’t wake her up,” he said, “Too bad it didn’t wake up LYRA!.”

She sat up fast and concerned as the sound of his voice amplified as if he was still holding the megaphone.  She looked around the room and spotted Discord.  Instead of being frightened I noticed that her right eye twitched.

“YOU!” she exclaimed.

“Me?” he asked innocently.

“Yes you!  You’re the one that possessed all of those chipmunks and made them run in here and then run off with six bottles of wine!” she exclaimed.

He placed a paw against his chest and looked hurt.

“Why I’m hurt.  I’ll have you know that wine was for a very good purpose.  I used it to celebrate dear, dear Fluttershy’s birthday with.  It was a grand party, although not as much fun as when Pinkie throws one, but still it was quite enjoyable.  Why I even managed to get Celestia and Luna both there.  It was rather funny seeing Celly still soaking wet from her shower, but fun none the less,” he said.

“Discord, did you rip her off?” I asked.

“Rip off nothing!  I left her a card promising one free favor.  In fact,” he said reaching behind her ear, “here it is.”

We both looked at the card with the cartoonish version of Discord on the front.

“To Lyra Heartstrings, one free favor from Discord.  Warning: Favors outcome are at the discretion of the favorer not the favoree,” he read.

She glared at him and after a moment he rolled his eyes and snapped his claws again.  When he did a bag appeared and floated in the air.  He dug through it for a moment and pulled out a large bit.  This one was bigger than the golden coins I had seen them use so far.  He grinned and flipped it onto the bed.

“There you go, one Luna bit,” he said.

Her eyes widened and she looked at the coin.

“No, that’s too much,” she said.

“It was six bottles of wine,” he replied.

“I’ll keep the card,” she said passing him back the bit.

He cocked an eyebrow and smiled.

“Fluttershy and I are going out this evening.  We thought that if the two of you weren’t busy you might want to join us.  Dinner and a movie?” He asked.

She nodded, and we watched as he left.  I was a little surprised about how easy she agreed to meeting with him.  Sure, it was just a double date, or I suppose it was.  Damn, this going to bring all of those fan fictions about Discord dating Fluttershy to light.  It actually made me wonder if that was going on.  Part of my inner Brony hoped it wasn’t.  Mainly because what I had seen on the show I always thought that she and Big Mac would have been a nice couple.

I felt my girlfriend, or I suppose I should say marefriend, trace a hoof down my chest.  She leaned in and gave me a little kiss.

“You are amazing,” I said.

She blushed, something that was still interesting to see, and leaned her head on my shoulder.

“You weren’t too bad yourself,” she said.

I felt like she did.  There wasn’t any reason to get out of bed.  I was happy right here.  I, like every guy I suppose, had heard the stories about what happened your first time.  I’m going to go out on a limb and say that every story was completely formed from bullshit.  It wasn’t that I didn’t feel connected to Lyra.  I did, and I felt like a million bucks, but I wasn’t suddenly confident with all of my new found sexual powers either.

I was still nervous, a little awkward, and completely surprised that this beautiful mare actually wanted to have something to do with me.  She snuggled against me, and I felt a soft kiss on my neck.

“How are you feeling this morning?” she asked.

I smiled and returned her kiss.

“Good, really good,” I replied.

“How good is good?” she asked.

I started to answer when I felt something wrap around my lower appendage.  It began stroking and I could see the fire behind her eyes.

“More than good enough,” I said.

The next hour was satisfying both of our newly awakened hungers.  She was coming off of what had to be a long dry spell, and I was done with what had been a lifelong dry spell.  I was more than happy that Lyra was someone who wanted to show me everything.  She wanted to help me make her feel as good as I wanted to make her feel.

When we finished she lay on me covered with sweat, and the both of us smelled like each other.  She gently nuzzled against my cheek.

“You are so wonderful,” she said.

“So are you,” I replied.

Suddenly the public displays of affection that I would see working in retail hell didn’t seem so odd.  It seemed natural to have these kinds of reactions and displays of affection.  I kissed the tip of her nose and shifted under her a little.  She stretched out, and I could feel the heat rolling off of her.  Slowly she began to get up, and I watched the muscles in her flank as she moved to get out of bed.

Lyra was toned.  All of her yoga, running, and other cardio showed as she moved in front of me.  I wasn’t in bad shape, but I had a ways to go before I would even be considered in fantastic shape.  Standing beside the bed she looked back at me and flicked her tail.

“So, if we’re going to have a date tonight we better get cleaned up.  I could use a little help with my bath,” she said.

A smile crossed my lips as I followed her.  So far I had ended up being one of the luckiest sons of bitches that ever lived.  Once inside of the bathroom I noticed that Lyra was already running the water in the tub for a bath.  I watched as she filled it to where it needed to be and she slowly got into the tub itself.  She floated a bar of Durden’s spearmint body wash over to me.

I took the body wash, and the wash cloth on the side of the tub, and began to work lather onto the cloth.  I then squirted some of the body wash on her and began working it into her coat.  She leaned into the side of the tub next to me as I worked the body wash in.  I then worked the washcloth into the finer areas.  I took my time, doing it as lovingly as I could, until she was ready to be washed off.  I began dipping the water out of the tub and dumping it on her.  Like before I worked the soap out, instead of in, and continued.  When I was finished she was clean, and I handed her a towel.  She smiled and emptied the tub.

She motioned toward it and I began to fill it.  Like her once it was filled I got into the tub, and this time she worked on me.  Everything I had done she did.  She took her time with me.  I could feel her teasing, but then that teasing became something different.  I felt her magic working a new washcloth under the water.  I leaned back and felt her hooves on my chest. I looked up into her eyes and saw all of the promise and want in them.

“How long is it until the movie starts?” she asked.

“I’m not sure,” I replied.

She bit her lip, something that looked remarkably cute, and then shook her head.

“We shouldn’t keep them waiting.  They said dinner, and that means this evening.  We can get out a little bit, and I want to get something for our date,” she said.

“Oh?”  I asked.

She nodded.

“Yeah, I want to look really good for it,” she said.

I raised an eyebrow.  To be honest I wasn’t sure what she wanted to do.  It could be that she wanted to have a spa day, or she might want to do a little clothes shopping.  From the show I knew she had a dress, but it had been worn to Candace and Shining Armor’s wedding.  I wasn’t sure if she had another dress.  I knew she had other clothes.  Her workout clothes were evident enough of that.

“What do you want to get for our date?” I asked.

I could see her thinking about it for a moment before a devilish smile crossed her features.  She gave me a small kiss on the cheek and batted her eyelids at me.

“You’ll find out later,” she said mischievously.

I got out of the tub, and she floated a towel over to me.  I began to dry off and opened the drain for the tub.  The water flowed out of it, and I followed the mare that had opened me up to so many new experiences, the same mare that had captured my heart, and watched as she dug through her dresser for a moment.

I could swear that she flicked her tail, moved her hips, and sung to herself to tease me a little.  I grinned and looked at the clothes from the previous night.  They would have to be cleaned.  And my clothes for the date tonight looked fine.  I started to put on the clothes when Lyra cleared her throat.

“Let me see them,” she said.

Before I could argue she floated the clothes out of my arms and began to trot down the hall.  I followed her and found what looked like a retro made fairly new washing machine and dryer next to each other.  She quickly measured out some Summer Harvest Everything and dumped it into the running washing machine.  She then looked at the tags on the clothes and made sure that all of it was machine washable.  Once she did I watched as she set it to small load and then turned around to look at me.

“It’ll take about an hour for them to wash and dry.  I know you have your new clothes, but I’d like to see you just wear those for the date tonight.  You don’t mind hanging out here for a little while right?  I mean if you would rather I could go to your hotel room and get you a change of clothes if you don’t want to stay here,” she said rubbing her hoof on the ground nervously.

“I’m fine waiting,” I said.

She smiled again, leaned up on me, hugged me, and gave me a sweet kiss before she trotted back up the stairs.  I watched the washing machine and took a seat on a small wooden bench in the basement.  She came back down after a couple of minutes.

“You don’t have to stay down here you know.  I want you to feel free to treat this as your home too,” she said.

“Thank you, but I wanted to switch my clothes over when they were ready.  That’s all,” I said.

She nodded and trotted back upstairs.  I watched her go and turned back around to face the washing machine.  The next hour looked to be fairly uneventful.  For the first twenty minutes I didn’t do much except for listen to the hyptonic sounds of the washing machine.  The next ten had me pacing in front of the washing machine, and then it stopped.  I gave a small thanks to whoever was listening and changed the clothes over.  I had seen some of these older appliances in some of the other stores that were around the one I worked in.  I closed the door, set the dial to small load, and then walked back to my bench.

When it was finally finished I had a clean set of clothes ready to be worn.  I quickly dressed in everything, including a clean set of underwear and socks, and went back upstairs for my shoes.  Once I was fully dressed I walked outside.  I had no idea of where Lyra had gone, but if I was going to do this I wanted to do it right.

I walked up toward Rose’s flower cart and noticed that the owner wasn’t there and the cart was empty.  I scratched my head and looked for another cart that sold flowers.

“How is the date planning going?” came a familiar voice.

“I’m trying to find Lyra some flowers,” I said.

I turned to see Discord, who was wearing his Cheshire Cat grin, standing behind me.  He produced a bouquet of beautiful red and gold roses.  There was at least ten of each rose in the bouquet before me.  They were wrapped in a silver and gold foil, and looked as if they had been freshly prepared.

“There, perfect,” he said.

“Ummmm… Thanks,” I said.

I looked at the beautiful flowers, wondering exactly where they came from, and almost as soon as I wondered I put it out of my mind.  Discord had his moments, for the most part he had been trying to help make sure that I was able to go out on a date with Lyra.  It could be that Fluttershy’s friendship lessons were starting to take effect.  I hoped that was the reason.  I smiled, and extended a hand.

“Thanks Discord,” I said.

He looked puzzled for a moment and then took my hand in his claw and closed it in a firm grip.

“It’s perfectly fine,” he said.

“Maybe one of these days we can have a guy’s day out,” I said.

His eyes widened at that.  He then put his lion’s paw on my shoulder and let out a deep laugh.

“I’d like that,” he said.

I carried the roses with me and walked toward Sugarcube corner.  Discord seemed interested in what I was doing, and once he realized that I was getting Lyra some chocolates he bought a box as well.  I watched as he looked at it, snapped his claws, and Fluttershy appeared.

The little butter yellow Pegasus looked as if she was sopping wet.  She looked around, blushed, and then looked at Discord.

“I just wanted to give you a small gift to say thank you,” he said handing her the box of chocolates.

“That’s sweet, but ummm… could you please send me back to my bathtub?  I was in the middle of really relaxing,” she whispered.

He snapped his claws again and as soon as she was there she disappeared.

“Well, we’ll see you tonight,” he said.

I looked at what I had, put the fact out of my mind that I was going to go on a double date with a god of chaos and his friend, and walked back to the Doo Drop Inn.  I changed into my other new set of clothes that Discord had given me and quickly went about getting a few last minute items ready.  Finally, I grabbed the chocolates, the roses, and walked downstairs and over to Lyra’s.  What I was greeted with took my breath away.

Lyra looked stunning.  She had a dark midnight blue dress that was v – cut down her chest giving the view of her mint green coat.  She wore a golden necklace that had a pearl shaped ruby in the center of it, and on either side was a cyan gem stone cut to look the same.  Her earrings looked like they were made from carefully crafted black onyx that had been woven together slowly.  She walked toward me and gave me a bright smile.

“How do I look?” she asked.

“I…  Wow,” I managed to get out.

She laughed, and then looked at the roses and chocolates.

“You are so thoughtful, and the roses are gorgeous.  They look just like the ones inside of the Royal Garden at Canterlot,” she said.

I closed my eyes at the realization of where Discord had gotten the roses.  We walked together to the café and once there we met Discord and Fluttershy.  The four of us laughed, ate, joked, laughed some more, and the entire time Lyra seemed to practically beam.  We soon left and walked up to the theater.

“So, which movie do you want to see Lyra?” I asked.

“I’ve heard so much about all of them, but how about Ghostbusters?  I’ve never seen it and everypony I’ve talked to says it’s an amazing movie,” she replied.

We walked in together and all four of us took a seat.  I felt Lyra’s forelegs wrap around my arm when the library scene happened, and then she laughed at the testing scene next.  She alternated between laughing, holding on to me, and then laughing again.  Surprisingly I could hear Fluttershy giggling a little at some of the funnier parts.  It seemed like the night was really going to go well.  It got to one of my favorite parts and I had to say the line along with Dr. Peter Venkman.

“Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!” I said at the same time.

I was surprised by the entire evening.  I was expecting some kind of prank, but instead Discord looked completely content to watch the movie.  A moment later the scene with Gozer the Gozerian began.

“Sub-creatures! Gozer the Gozerian, Gozer the Destructor, Volguus Zildrohar, the Traveler has come! Choose and perish!” she shouted.

“The Choice is Made, the Traveler has come!” she shouted.

Suddenly the entire theater went dark.  The movie simply stopped and outside I heard the sound of something heavy pounding in the distance.  We all ran outside to see a hundred foot tall Marshmallow mare walking toward Ponyville.

Marshmallow Mayhem

Be Careful what you wish for

Chapter 6 – ‘Marshmallow Mayhem’

“I couldn’t help it.  It just sort of popped in there,” Discord said.

“What just popped in there?” I asked looking at the huge, white, bulging mare coming toward Ponyville.

“I tried to think of something that would never, ever hurt us,” Discord replied.

“Discord what did you do?” I asked.

“LOOK!” Fluttershy screamed.

“Oh buck me,” Lyra said as the marshmallow behemoth crushed the furtherest building out from Ponyville.

“Okay, Discord, seriously get rid of that thing.  It’s not a prank because that thing is going to kill everypony,” I said.

Discord tried to snap his claws, but for some reason his power failed him.  The huge mare looked down at us and a twisted smile crossed her lips.

“Bow before Gozer the Gozerian! Tremble before her might!  Lowly subcreatures all of you shall perish!” she bellowed from her gigantic maw.

“Every able bodied unicorn we need you to help us stop this thing!” Mayor Mare shouted from a megaphone.

Lyra looked over at me and I nodded.  I wasn’t sure what I could do, but I ran with her.  She focused on the giant marshmallow mare and fired a blast of fire out at it along with dozens of other unicorns.  The effect was short lived as the now flaming marshmallow mare stomped its foot down crushing houses and setting fire to everything else.

I grabbed Lyra, not even thinking, and started to run back toward town.  She held on to me tightly as we traveled further in.  That’s when I heard an all too familiar chant.  It was slightly different, but the chant was nearly the same.

“Cutie Mark Crusaders Ghostbusters yay!” three adolescence mares shouted.

Before I could tell what was happening a huge wagon with several old looking computers, a set of parallel iron bars, and Sweetie Bell sitting on top of the thing with her horn glowing pulled up.  I watched as Applebloom locked the wheels, and then nodded to Scootaloo.

The iron bars began to glow an unearthly white for a moment before a powerful beam shot out between them.  The beam hit the huge marshmallow mare causing a large section of it to catch fire.

“Full power!” Scootaloo shouted.

I watched as Sweetie Belle’s horn glowed even brighter.  The iron glowed again and this time the blast was even larger, but all it did was completely engulf the marshmallow mare in flames.

“Blast the theater!  She’s connected to it!” Discord shouted.

They turned the wagon toward it and the Marshmallow mare tried to run to them, to stop them, but before she could reach them they fired their weapon again.  The theater exploded in a brilliant flash of light and a cloud of fire covered the Marshmallow Mare.

“NO!!!!” Gozer screamed as she began to liquefy.

A moment later hot marshmallow cream began to cover everything.  I ran back with Lyra, screaming at Fluttershy, Discord, and the cutie mark crusaders to follow us.  We bolted into the Doo Drop in, slammed the door shut and ran up to my room.  We looked down to see the entire street covered in marshmallow cream.

Dozens of ponies caught it in, moving around and finding that they were incredibly sticky.

“Well, that was a fun prank!” Discord said.

“Sweetie Belle! A voice cried from outside.

I watched Sweetie Belle as realization seemed to dawn on her.

“BUTTON!” she screaked  She flung open the window.

Lyra looked down and I watched as she levitated a marshmallow covered adolescence up to the room.  He looked terrible.

“Oh Button I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Sweetie Belle said as she tried to clean him off.

I looked at this, went to the bathroom, and started a hot shower.  I then walked back into the room and led the poor colt to the tub.

“Hop in,” I said.

He did and moments later Sweetie Belle was behind me. I watched as she took to scrubbing him and I left the two of them alone.

“Sweetie’s coltfriend is a real crybaby,” Scootaloo said to everyone.

I looked toward the bathroom, and I had to agree a little bit.  Sure, there had only been one episode of Button’s Adventures, something I had watched religiously, but it pretty much showed Button as a crybaby.  I suppose it was just something else the fandom had been right about.

“Where did you girls come up with the idea of being ghostbusters?” I asked.

“Oh, we had seen that movie a whole bunch of times.  I tried to see if I could get a message to Rainbow Dash and see if she wanted to watch it with me, but I guess they couldn’t get the letter to her,” Scootaloo said.

I studied the little Pegasus and noticed how down she sounded about that.  The show had stated that she really looked up to Rainbow Dash, and for her to be cut off from her hero for so long had to be taking its toll on her.  I knelt down beside her and gave her a smile.

“Well, I think that what you did today is officially cooler than a sonic rainboom,” I said.

“Really?!” she asked sounding excited.

“Really.  That was really impressive.  I mean you defeated a god out there.  That’s something to brag about,” I said.

“Ya think that the princess is gonna want ta know ‘bout it?” Applebloom asked.

“I’m sure she would like to know about it,” Fluttershy said.

“Oooo…  Why don’t we ask her?!” Discord said.

I heard him snap his claws and both Luna and Celestia appeared outside of the window.  The both of them fell into the thickening Marshmallow cream.  Celestia pulled a hoof up, looked at it, and then looked around.  I watched her and for the first time ever I heard the Royal Canterlot voice in real life, coming from Celestia.

“DISCORD!” She shouted.

He opened the window and leaned out.

“Celly, how are you doing today?” He asked.

She closed her eyes, scrunched up her brow and let out a snort.

“Why is Ponyville covered in this mess?” she asked.

“Oh, is it?” he asked.

“Sister, this is Marshmallow,” Luna chirped as she licked a hoof.

“Marshmallow?” Celestia asked.

She licked her hoof and her eyes widened.

“Why is everything covered in marshmallow?” she asked sounding confused.

“Perhaps if you both would like to join us in my new friends room here we can explain,” Discord said.

A moment later both Luna and Celestia appeared inside of the room.  There was a small coating of marshmallow sticking to their hooves, but it didn’t appear to be anywhere else.

“Now, what is going on?” Celestia asked.

“Well, there may have been a small prank pulled,” Discord said innocently,

“If it helps any you have three subjects that defeated an ancient and evil god or rather goddess I suppose,” I said.

“And who are you?” Celestia asked.

Okay, the voice was the same, and the fact that she didn’t look like her cartoon counterpart didn’t bother me.  I was talking to Celestia.  I knew that she had the power to do damned near anything she wanted to me, and maybe Discord could, or would, save me, maybe not.  I swallowed any nervousness I had and smiled.

“I’m Don Riker,” I said with a slight bow.

“Mr. Riker, would you please explain what you mean?” she asked.

“Well, I’m sure it was just meant as a harmless prank, but an interdimensional god like being was pulled into this world.  She had taken the form of a huge Marshmallow Mare and started to crush everything in Ponyville.  The local unicorns tried to stop it with their magic, but all it managed to do was catch it on fire.  These young mares, along with their friend in the bathroom, built a device that was able to stop it,” I said.

“Is what he is saying true my little ponies?” she asked.

Applebloom nodded, and Scootaloo smiled brightly.

“Uhhuh!  We built a proton accelerator just like in the movie!” Scootaloo said.

“How did you manage to build one of those?” Luna asked.

“Well, actually it was Applebloom that figured out how to put it together,” she said.

“We kinda borrowed some of the equipment and stuff from Twilight’s house,” Applebloom said.

“Oh?” Luna asked.

“Don’t get mad at Spike!  I totally told him that we would bring it right back!” Scootaloo said.

“And he let you borrow it?” Celestia asked.

I watched as they talked about it and realized that Scootaloo seemed really concerned about the possibility of Spike getting into trouble.  For a moment I wondered if the Scootaloo and Spike shippers might have been onto something.  It would actually make some sense if they were.  I felt Lyra next to me and I smiled at her.  She grinned at me, stood on her hind legs, and wrapped her forelegs around my neck before pulling into a deep kiss.

“Well, then it appears that everything seems to be well in hoof.  Except for the marshmallow covering ponyville,” Celestia said.

“It’s too bad that we can’t use it to feed everypony,” I said.

The entire group looked at me.  Celestia’s mouth turned up into a grin.

“That is actually a very good idea.  There is enough of it here to feed every single orphan in Trottingham,” she said.

“If you’re going to do that then let me help,” Discord said.

Before they could react he snapped his claws again and outside it began raining gram crackers and chocolate bars.  Once it was finished he smiled at himself.

“S’mores,” I said.

The Princesses nodded, and Luna blinked out of the room.  Celestia turned around and glared at Discord.

“Next time, try not to do this,” she said.

“I promise I’ll be good, well most of the of time,” he said the last part under his breath.

She blinked out and we walked toward the window.  Lyra stood next to me and we watched as the princesses helped clean off all of the ponies and together they began creating s’mores out of the ingrediants there.

“Want to help them?” I asked.

“Sure, but I don’t want to get this dress dirty,” she said.

She walked toward the closet and looked at me.

“Mind to help me?” she asked.

I walked over, helped her out of the dress, the stockings, which looked amazing on her, and then out of her panties.  She let out a small breath and then looked at me.

“I should change too.  I’ll go ahead and step in here,” I said.

I was sure that the others weren’t quite sure why, but I figured that Fluttershy was most likely thankful that I decided to spare the world a view of my nakedness.  I pulled off the newer set of clothes that Discord had created for me, and instead grabbed a shirt and pair of shorts that were in my suitcases. I was thankful that they were in the closet and pulled them on.  I felt something touching me and turned around to see Lyra’s horn glowing.

She smiled sheepishly and then we both stepped out.  All three Cutie Mark Crusaders and Button Mash stood out there.

“Nothing again!” Scootaloo said.

“Me neither,” Applebloom said.

Sweetie Belle didn’t say a word.

“Sweetie, did you get a ghostbusting cutie mark?” they both asked.

She shook her head.

“Did you get one?” Scootaloo asked.

She shook her head.

“I didn’t either,” she said.

“I’m sorry Sweetie Belle,” Button said.

I noticed that Button had what looked like a game controller on his rump.  I should have guessed that would have been his cutie mark.

“So, do you guys want to go down and help clean this up?” I asked.

They looked at each other and then nodded.

“Cutie Mark Crusaders S’more makers go yay!” they shouted before they ran out of the room.

Lyra, Fluttershy, Discord, and I walked down together to see all of Ponyville working together to get the mess made into s’mores.  Someone stopped after a few moments and shook their head.

“Pinkie Pie really needs to be here for this,” somepony said.

Lines of Communication

Be Careful what you wish for

Chapter 7 – ‘Lines of Communication’

An entire week had come and gone.  I had said that I wasn’t going to stay for more than two weeks.  This last week had been amazing.  I felt a body move on the bed and looked at Lyra.  She was still sleeping, and since I was staying at her place more than the hotel room she suggested that I just go ahead and stay with her.  I agreed, and we had brought my luggage over.  That had been three days ago.  There was a short period of adjustment, and finding the shrine she had in the guest room closet was a little unsettling.  We had discussed it, and while I knew she had believed in us humans before I didn’t realize how ostracized it made her feel from everypony else.  She agreed that the shrine needed to go, and by the second day of my being there Lyra seemed more relaxed.

I stopped thinking about it for a moment, while I stretched, crawled out of bed, and walked toward the bathroom.  I relieved myself, and walked back into her bedroom.  I looked toward the bed and grinned.  Part of me hated that I just had another week before I either re-registered for an extended pass, or declared that Equestria was going to be my new residence.  I still had around twelve hundred dollars from what I had won when I called into the radio station, but twelve hundred dollars wasn’t really enough to stay an extended period of time.

If I wanted to stay here I was going to need a job.  That was another problem I had when I got back to Earth.  I would need to find something to do, and that meant working another crappy job.  I couldn’t really complain too much, but then again all the job really did was let me pay some rent.

A yawn escaped me and I leaned back against the closet door.  I stretched, felt my back pop, and then stepped forward.  I heard the closet door open slightly and turned around.  Lyra had asked me to stay with her in her room, and she let me put my clothes into her dresser, which was nice, but she said that her closet was so full of junk that she couldn’t really let me put anything in there.

I turned around and looked at the slightly opened door.  I had expected to see boxes of unpacked stuff, but instead it looked mostly empty.  I opened the door wider and found a single box on the floor.  I looked at the smooth wooden box and pulled it out.  It was heavy, but not so heavy that I couldn’t move it.  I found a single copper latch and opened it.  I opened the lid and tried to come to grips what I was seeing.

“Don?” a voice asked.

I turned around and saw Lyra getting up.  Her eyes widened as she saw what I was looking at and she began to stutter and fall over herself trying to get to where I was.

“I can explain!” she shouted.

“What is all of this?” I asked.

She closed the box with her magic and shoved it back into the closet.  She turned to look at me, and I found that she couldn’t look me in the eye.

“Lyra, what was all of that?” I asked.

“Ummm… Well…  It’s kind of hard to explain,” she said as she rubbed her forehoof on the ground nervously.

“Lyra, seriously, that looked like some of the stuff that they have at Frances’ Secret box,” I said.

She looked confused.

“It’s an adult store that’s in the same mall where I used to work.  I went over there with a friend who didn’t want to go into the place alone.  She went on a little spending spree and bought a whole lotta bondage gear.  That looked like the stuff she bought,” I said as I looked at her, “Is that what it was?”

She didn’t say a thing, but instead she looked at the ground.

“Don’t hate me,” she whispered.

“What?” I asked.

“Don’t hate me.  Please, Don, don’t hate me.  That stuff…  It’s looked down on.  I mean, the nobles used to use it to punish unicorns that committed some crime or another.  They felt that humiliating the criminal was enough of a punishment,” she said.

“But it changed huh?  Some of the unicorns began to like it right?” I asked.

“Yeah, when Celestia banned its use as a punishment it became this forbidden taboo,” she replied.

“So, you’re into this stuff?” I asked.

“Kind of.  I tried to get Bonny to experiment with me, but she didn’t like it.  She said it was too much for her.  I didn’t ever bring it up again,” she said.

I smiled, bent down, and kissed her on the muzzle.  She looked at me surprised and shook her head.

“I don’t hate you.  If you’re into that then you’re into that,” I said.

“Do you want to… you know, maybe try it?” she asked.

I looked at her surprised.  I had heard of Bondage, Discipline, and Sadomasochism, but to be honest it had never really been something I would have considered being into.  I didn’t like the idea of hurting someone, or having someone hurt me.  It didn’t seem sexual in any way, but then again, I did care for Lyra.  I was caring for her more and more every day.  I didn’t want her to feel that our love life wasn’t satisfying.  Hell, I’d heard about a few guys who found out that their wives decided to step out and find satisfaction somewhere else.

“Is it something you want?” I asked.

She looked at me.  I could tell that she wasn’t certain about it.  I know she most likely did want to experiment, but I wondered if she felt that answering it one way or the other would upset me.

“We don’t have to,” she replied.

I could see the discouragement in her eyes, and it plucked at my heart strings.

“Let’s give it a go.  If we don’t like it then we don’t have to do it,” I said.

The smile that beamed on her face was priceless.  I watched as her horn glowed for a moment and then I felt something wrap around my wrists as my clothes seemed to disappear off of me.

“I love you, and the safe word is banana,” she said.

My eyes widened as I realized what I had agreed to.  I seconds I found myself strapped to the bed.  The mare I was falling in love with, that I thought so highly of, and that seemed to be falling in love with me as well stood in a faux leather bodice, fishnet stockings, and had a studded collar on.  A paddle floated beside her.

“Look at you.  You’re just a pasty little mama’s boy that wants to please a mare.  You don’t know what it takes to please a mare, but I’m going to teach you,” she said.

“Lyra?” I asked.

A sharp sound of wood hitting flesh echoed through the room, and it felt like the skin of my outer thigh had just caught fire.  I squinted my eyes shut and tried to breathe normally.

“That’s mistress Lyra!  Now, what were you going to say worm?” she asked.

“Mistress Lyra, what are you doing?” I asked.

“I’m training you in how to please a mare, and if you are very, very lucky I may desire to let you feast your senses on me.  But that is a pleasure you have to earn,” she said.

Another sharp sound erupted and I was about a stone’s throw away from saying Banana.  I love Lyra, but this isn’t turning me on.  She jumped on the bed, walked up beside me and looked me directly in the eyes.  I was ready to let her know this wasn’t for me.  That I didn’t like this at all, and that I would be perfectly happy if we never did this again.  I could stand maybe trying some rough sex, but I wasn’t about to start trying to get off on getting my ass kicked.  That’s when I saw what was in her eyes.  She wasn’t looking at me with hate, but instead her eyes were half lidded, compassionate, and full of love.  It was an act, role play, something she wanted to experiment with, and she loved that I was willing to go along with it.  I swallowed my thoughts about it for the moment.  I was still going to let her know afterward that if we did this it was not going to be an everyday thing, but to see her so happy and touched made me happy.  I felt something grab my balls, and I could see her horn glowing.

“Tongue out, now,” she demanded.

I stuck it out and felt her squat over my mouth.  The wetness of her lower lips touched my tongue and I felt the magical grip on my balls tighten slightly.

“Lick worm, and perhaps your mistress will return the favor,” she said.

I began to lick her. Letting my tongue reach into her honeycomb hideout, trace around inside of it, and search for the sweet treasure inside was causing my marefriend to breathe pretty heavily.  I felt the grip on my balls relax, and suddenly it reappeared on my shaft. I felt her stroke it, the firm, but gentle, way she worked her magic against it seemed amazing.  She began to lean down, but then she stopped.

“No, I don’t believe that you’ve done enough yet,” she said.

I groaned out as she pressed herself against my mouth, driving my tongue a little further inside of her.

“If you want me to taste you then you had better make me speechless with pleasure,” she said.

I redoubled my efforts.  She was torturing me right now.  It was different than the paddling’s.  It was worse.  I needed release, and she was just barely doing enough with her magic to keep me hard.  I felt her lazily stroke me, the warmth of her magic driving me wild.  I needed this release so badly.

“If you experience release before I do then I shall have to punish you,” she purred.

This went beyond not fair.  I licked her, found her clitoris, and when I did I began to suckle on it.  She squirmed, moaned, squealed, and then she went. I caught some of it in my mouth, but most it seemed to cover my face.  She let out a breathy moan, and fell forward.  I felt the magic release me, and instead of the warmth of a mouth on me I felt warm breath.  A frustrated groan escaped me, and a moment later I felt her tongue.  It touched me, traveled up me, and then it swirled around the tip.  Without warning I was surrounded by warmth and I a pleased moan escaped me.  She continued on for several moments before she pulled back.  I was at the point of release and she stopped.

She turned toward me.  A warm smile on her face and suddenly the bonds around my wrists released themselves.

“Lyra?” I asked.

“Don’t talk, I’m a mare, your mare, and I need you to take me like a mare right now,” she said.

I moved and she laid down.  I watched as she presented and I couldn’t deny her.  Crawling up behind her I found her entrance and found the furnace inside.  I plunged into it.  Going as deep as I could and causing a lust filled moan to escape her.  I began to thrust hard into her.  I grabbed her hips, pulling her hard against me, forcing me to go deeper into her, and at that moment she went again.  I know she expected me to go anytime, but she had teased and tormented me for a while, so it was my turn.

It was hard not give into release.  She had pushed me there, got me ready for it, but instead I held off.  I thought of anything that wasn’t sexy in any way, shape, or form as long as I could.  She let out squeaks of pleasure, her moans becoming raspy as we continued.

My fuel for denying my own release was finally dried up.  Every unsexy image I could think of wasn’t doing anything anymore.  Instead I pulled her close, and I felt all of my love, lust, desire, and need pour into her.  She collapsed on the bed and I collapsed beside her.  I could see her breathing heavily, gasping for breath.

“I love you,” she said.

“I love you too,” I said.

“Did you like it?” she asked.

“Some of it,” I admitted.

“I did too,” she said between gasps.

“Tired?” I asked.

She nodded and scooted against me.

“Don, we’re together right?” she asked.

“Of course we are,” I said.

“A…Are you going to leave?” she asked.

I knew that was coming.  Was I going to leave Equestria, Ponyville, and her?  I didn’t know how to answer it.  There was my apartment back on Earth, my friends, but this was different.  This was a chance to live out a dream of mine.  It was a real chance to live in a world I had dreamed about.  In a way I would be like the guy from My Little Dashie a Threequel.  Well, there would be a few obvious exceptions, but the fact that I could live here.  I could stay in this bright world meant so much.

I tried to think of a reason to stay.  There wasn’t the problem with family.  I really didn’t have any.  Mom and Dad had both passed.  I figured that I could still communicate with Louis if I wanted to.  The mail did seem to work, and it seemed that some of the unicorns were even attempting to get some of the higher tech stuff to work here.  I knew the technology they were working on.  I had planned on getting a crappy job back home, but what if I could get a job here?

I looked at Lyra and saw the worry in her eyes.

“My official gateway pass is up in a week, and if I don’t leave then I have to reapply for another one to go back to Earth,” I said as I watched her eyes widen, “There’s just not a whole lot to go back for.  I want to stay.  I know it means possibly losing one citizenship, but it’s worth it.”

She snugged into me and I felt her forelegs wrap around my waist.

“I love you doesn’t even come close to saying everything I want to say,” she whispered.

She gently kissed me and snuggled close to me.

“It says everything Lyra,” I said.

We fell asleep, and I knew that when we woke up we were going to be sticking together, and possibly to the bed as well.  That thought didn’t bother me like I thought it would.  I was fine with it.

When I did wake back up I felt some of my hair sticking to my forehead.  I had no illusions about what we had done, and it didn’t bother me.  I feel Lyra’s warm body close to me.  I looked down at her wearing the clothes she was wearing and despite my thoughts about the paddling and submissive part of what we did I couldn’t help but think about how sexy it made her look.

I slid my hand down her back to her cutie mark and cupped her flank.  She scooted closer to me.  I started to move and found that part of my head was stuck to the sheet.  I had heard about this.  Louis had actually warned me about letting things sit too long before.  Now I realized why.  I pulled my head loose and nearly let out a curse.

Lyra seemed to have felt my movement, pulled up and looked into my eyes.

“Hi,” she said sounding groggy.

“Hi, we need a bath,” I said.

“Huh?” she asked.

I got up, holding her, and she began to register what was going on. Within a few seconds we were in the Bathroom, and I was starting to run the water.  She began to focus on what was happening and her horn glowed again.  I watched as her bodice unlaced itself, pulled loose, and floated toward a chair.  Her stockings did the same, and then a bottle of bubble bath floated over to the tub.  She poured some in and once it was done I tested the water before setting her down into it.  I climbed in behind her.

“It’s good that your tub is so large,” I said.

“Large?  This is pretty normal,” she said.

It made sense.  Not all of the ponies in Equestria were unicorns.  Obviously they needed room to do certain things, and that meant big tubs.  The water stopped and I began washing her back.  She let out a satisfied moan as I worked up a lather.

“Do you know if there is anyplace hiring in Ponyville?” I asked.

“I know a bar that’s hiring.  The owner pays pretty well, in a few ways,” she said suggestively.

“Lyra, sweetheart, I don’t mind helping out in the bar, but I don’t want you to think that I’m mooching off of you.  Besides, I’d like to make some money to contribute, so is there any retail or anything like that?” I asked.

“Filthy Rich does have a couple of newer stores.  I heard that he wants somepony that is comfortable with the technology coming over to work in them, but you don’t have to do that.  I really don’t mind if you just want to work here,” she said.

I smiled, leaned forward and kissed the top of her head.

“I know, and I love you for it, but I want to help out.  Maybe after we take a bath we can take a trip to one of his stores and see about getting me a job,” I said.

The bath took a little longer than it normally would, but then again I had never really took a bath with anyone before.  I also found that taking a bath with my marefriend lead to a little fooling around, which was I fine with, and a little teasing.  We got out of the bath, and I soon found the set of clothes I had bought at the clothing store.  I was clothed, but I had to open the windows.  To quote a line from another fanficion that I had read some time ago, ‘Aye, this house reeeeeeeks of sin and buggery’.

I walked outside with Lyra and together we walked toward the north end of town.  It was there that I saw another store similar to the clothing store Discord and Fluttershy had taken me to.  It almost looked like an old Smiley-Mart store before they became super-marts.  We walked inside and an older mare greeted us.

“Welcome to the Trotting Tech Central.  Anything I can help you folks with?” she asked.

“Actually, I was looking for a job,” I said.

“Oh, then you want to go all of the way to the back.  I’m not sure if Mr. Rich is here, but if he is then I’m sure that he’ll do an interview,” she said.

We followed her advice and walked toward the back of the store.  On the way I noticed some technology that reminded me of being a kid.  There was a few cassette players, walkmen, or Walkpony rather, and a couple of 8-track players as well.  I noticed one section had car batteries, an 8-track car radio, and speakers together along with instructions on how to hook them up into a wagon.  It almost seemed surreal in a way.

I reached the back and looked at a receptionist.  This was certainly different from any other retail store I had worked at.  Most of the other stores had managers, but there wasn’t a real receptionist.  Instead it was usually one of the new shift leaders, or aspiring managers that got to answer phones.  The receptionist looked up at me, smiled, and extended a hoof.

“How can I help you?” she asked.

“I’m looking for a job,” I said.

“Just a moment,” she said.

She pressed her hoof against a button and a moment later there was a response.

“Yes?” a voice asked.

“Mr. Rich, we have an inquiry about a job,” she said.

“Very well, give me a moment,” he replied.

I watched as the door opened and Filthy Rich stepped out.  He walked up toward the two of us, looked at Lyra, and then at me.

“Who would like a job?” he asked.

“I would.  I’ve got several years of retail experience, I know the technology in this store like the back of my hand, and I do have a bachelors’ degree.  I can promise you that if you hire me I will do everything I can to prove that you’ve made a good choice,” I said.

He walked over to a table, picked up a cassette, and carried it back to me.  I could already see the problem with it.  At some point the tape had gotten snagged and twisted.

“Could you fix this?” he asked.

I nodded, and looked at it.

“Do you happen to have a set of precision tools?” I asked.

A moment later I was given a small tool kit that had a few small precision screwdrivers and sockets in it.  I quickly went to work taking the tape casing apart.  When it was I lifted the two reels and looked at where the twist was.  It would be easy enough to fix.  I moved the tape slightly, causing the twist to come out, and then replaced it back into the case.  Within seconds I had it together again and presented it to him.

He placed it into a player, rewound it a little, and then pressed play.  It played, didn’t have a pause, and he smiled.

“That would have saved me ten bits if you would have been here half an hour earlier.  Can you do this to all of these tapes?  Repair them like this?” he asked.

“I can most of them.  The ones that had been stretched or broken I can splice back together, but there will be sections missing.  It wouldn’t be complete,” I said.

He nodded, and then grinned.

“I need somepony who knows this technology.  Most of the ponies here have fallen in love with it, and there is talk about bringing television over.  From what I understand there is a tape player in your world that should work here.  If it does come over then that would mean the possibility of selling home theater equipment.  You said that you know everything in this store, but do you know about these home theater tape players?” he asked.

I nodded.

“I do, and I know how clean them if the heads get dirty,” I said.

“That’s what I wanted to know.  I’ll start you out at 80 bits for an eight hour day, and if we ever have you work overtime I will ensure to increase your pay to be double for every hour over the eight hour mark.  You’ll be given a full hour lunch, and all of my employees get two days off a week, and two paid weeks off a year.  Does that sound good to you?” he asked.

“It does,” I said.

He extended a hoof to me, and I shook it.

“Welcome aboard.  Get with Miss Drops so she can get your personal information.  I’d like for you to start tomorrow.  Eight am sharp,” he said.

“That’s fine with me.  I’ll be here,” I said.

He nodded and walked back toward the office.  I watched as the recepitionist motioned both me and Lyra over.

“Welcome aboard, since you’re going to be working here that means that you’ll be geting a discount card to all of Mr. Rich’s stores in Ponyville.  That includes Rich's Barnyard Bargains,” she said as she looked at us, “Also, are you two together, or together together?  I’m asking because I could get away with getting her a discount card as well.”

“We’re together together,” Lyra said.

“Good to know,” she said.

I told her the information she asked about.  I gave her my name, address, my status as an Equestrian citizen, then she suggested that I switch banks to the local Ponyville branch of the Royal Treasury Bank of Equestria.  It made sense to do so since it would be so hard to do my banking with my old bank.

Once we were done we walked out.  I stopped by the post office and wrote a quick letter to Louis.

“Louis,

What’s up man?  Hey, look buddy.  I think that I’m going to be staying in Equestria for a while.  You’re really about the only person that I know really would care one way or another about knowing.  Hell, to be honest you’re about the best friend I had back home.  That said man, I like it here.  It’s nice, really nice, and the folks are super friendly.  I’ve got a job working for Filthy Rich.  I’m serious man I’m working for Filthy Rich.  That’s awesome!  Anyway man, I’m going to be sending some money through later, and if you wouldn’t mind I might ask a big favor of you in seeing that my stuff in my old apartment gets sent over to me.

Thanks man.

You’re the best,

Your buddy,

Don.

PS, dude, I don’t know what’s going on between you and Pinkie, but seriously man.  Don’t knock it until you tried it.” I wrote.

I sealed the envelope up, wrote Louis’ address on it, and gave it to the pony working behind the counter.  Hopefully he would have it in a few days.  I walked out with Lyra and looked at the place I was going to have to start calling home.

“Lyra, what kind of pay am I getting at Trotting Tech Central?” I asked as we walked.

She stopped, and seemed to consider how to answer.

“It’s not bad.  It’s better than being a hired pony at Sweet Apple Acres, but I wouldn’t say it is the best pay in the world.  It’s kind of like this.  You’re getting eighty bits a day.  So, that would be four hundred bits a week.  That means you’re getting about sixteen hundred bits a month.  Now, that sounds good until you consider the cost of living.  Ponyville is fairly cheap compared to other places, but even here sixteen hundred bits covers rent, food, a little entertainment, and that’s about it,” she said.

“So it’s a little above minimum wage,” I replied.

“Minimum what?” she asked.

“Minimum wage, back on Earth in my country we have a list of wages that are considered to be livable.  Minimum wage is the bare minimum that someone could live off of if they are working forty hours a week.  To be honest most folks that end up with a minimum wage job can barely afford to feed themselves.  Usually they end up having to get subsidized housing and food vouchers from the Government in order to make ends meet,” I replied.

“Then how is it the bare minimum?” she asked.

“It’s the bare minimum for one person.  It’s sort of like telling these folks that they can’t have a relationship if they can’t get a better paying job,” I said.

“Oh, that’s cruel.  No, that’s not how things work here, and your pay might not be over the top, but it’s not bad,” she said.

I smiled, walked back with her to her bar and thought about everything she said, and everything I was doing.  This world, this wonderful world, was beyond amazing.  I had a serious chance to live a happy life.  It was the kind of life that I know my mom wanted for me.  I offered my hand to Lyra, and she placed her hoof in it as we walked.  It felt nice knowing that things were looking up.  There was a job that I looked forward to starting tomorrow, I was living with my marefriend, and for once I didn’t dread waking up in the morning.  I hadn’t been this happy since the portal had opened between Equestria and our world.

Sure, I was going to miss a few things.  I was going to miss surfing the internet, playing some games on my consoles, but all of that was pretty trivial compared to where I was.  We walked inside of the bar and Lyra flicked her tail giving me a view of her.

“We should celebrate you getting a new job,” she said.

I followed her in and closed the door.

I guess it's only fair right?

Be Careful what you wish for

Chapter 8 – ‘I guess it’s only fair right?’

The past two weeks seemed to be a bit of a blur.  There was a moment when I wasn’t certain how I felt about declaring my permanent residence in Equestria, but then again it wasn’t like I had completely lost my citizenship.  The local American Foreign Service Officer, located in the Earth Embassy, had told me that officially my citizenship with the good old U.S. of A. would be solid for seven years.  I’d still have to pay a few basic taxes, but until that time was up I was fine and dandy.  I had considered telling him not to worry.  Then again if Lyra got cleared to visit Earth it wouldn’t hurt to have someone with her who was not only a native, but who was also a citizen.

Seeing that as the selling point I decided to agree, and the FSO handed me a set of papers for my employer.  I did a quick scan of them and realized that it was basically a mixture of royal and US Federal tax papers.  From what I gathered it basically reduced what I used to pay in for my Federal taxes down quite a bit.  Instead of a solid ten percent of my wages I was only getting deducted a mere five percent.  Apparently the US Government had decided to cut most of the humans migrating to Equestria a break in order to keep getting the revenue from them.

That had been last weekend.  The following week had been hectic at work.  Mr. Rich decided that since it was possible to repair the cassette tapes before refunding for them then that was what was going to happen.  I knew the problem that was happening.  It had been something that was pretty common up until Compact Disks had become far more affordable.  It wasn’t with the tapes themselves, but rather with some of the players.

Brands like Jensen, Kaizer, RCA, and Soni didn’t mess up too often, but cheaper brands had a tendency of eating cassettes.  It wasn’t a problem to fix the tapes, and soon I was working on the players themselves.  It wasn’t that hard, but I had to stop and remember all of those old tricks for cleaning the heads, getting the spindles to work correctly.

But it was getting off of work that more than made up for it.  I was pretty much living the dream.  That might sound a bit conceited, but it felt that way.  I was happy, and this weekend I was even happier. It seemed that all of Mr. Rich’s businesses paid their hourly employees weekly instead of biweekly.  I walked into Trotting Tech Central and headed straight to the back.  I found Gum Drops working on the schedule for the next week.

“Don! How are you enjoying your weekend off?” she asked.

“It’s actually pretty good, and the day’s just getting better,” I said.

“Here to pick up your pay huh?” she asked.

I nodded and watched as she pulled out a drawer and seemed to nose through it for a moment before pulling up an envelope and handing it to me.

“Don’t go spending it all in one place,” she said.

I opened it and looked at the check.  I had expected to be paid in bits, but then I had to consider that once the Ponies noticed the ease of some of our monetary system they most likely would adapt to it.  Three hundred and forty bits was printed across the face of the check.  I grinned and walked toward my new bank.

The Royal Treasury Bank of Equestria looked like most of the buildings in Ponyville before the gateway opened.  It had a medieval charm to it.  That ended the moment I walked inside of the building.  Outside it looked like it belonged in the renaissance fair, but inside it looked like any normal bank in a small town would have looked.  I walked up to the counter and presented my check.  I quickly signed my name using a ball point pen, something the bank still had signs up declaring they were now using for their customers’ convenience, and passed the check to the teller.

“Do you want the bits in single bits, or would you like three Luna bits and sixty normal bits?” she asked.

I couldn’t help it.  There was a part of me that squealed with delight at the thought of carrying a bag full of gold.

“All normal bits please,” I said.

She began counting them out, and then she pushed them into a small canvas bag.  She pulled the draw string closed and pushed it toward me.

“Thank you,” I said.

“You’re welcome, but Mr. Riker, have you considered making another deposit?” she asked.

“I will, but not this week.  This week I wanted to do something special,” I said.

“Very well sir, enjoy your weekend,” she said.

I walked out and headed down the street to Lyra’s and my place.  I stopped when I noticed a large pony trying to work on something in a wagon he had been pulling. I walked over toward him and noticed that it was Big Mac.  He seemed to be intently working on something.

“Need some help?” I asked.

He looked up to see me and gave a half grin.

“Eeeeyup,” he answered.

I took a look at what he had been messing with and realized that he was trying to hook up a set of speakers and a normal cassette deck to the wagon.

“Mind if I set this down on the wagon for a moment?” I asked.

“Nope,” he said.

I nodded and sat my bits down on the wagon while I went to work on the project in front of me.  It didn’t take long to figure out what had happened.  Mac almost had everything together, but he had forgotten to hook up the power supply.  I checked the battery and then I looked under the wagon to make sure that the charging generator was hooked up to the wagon.  Seeing that it was together I quickly hooked up the radio for him.  He passed me a cassette, already out of its case, and I slipped it into the wagon’s now functioning tape deck.  I picked up my bits and watched as he turned the radio up to a listenable level.  The sounds of Billy Idol’s Dancing with Myself began to play.

It surprised me a little.  I had guessed that he would have been into country.  Instead he seemed to happily nod his head back and forth as he pulled his wagon toward the market place.  I held my bag of bits, glad that I had grabbed them, and walked on toward Lyra’s.  I arrived just as Derpy Hooves was making the mail rounds.  I watched as the wall eyed mare stopped and grinned at me.

“DON!” she shouted as she gave me a quick hug.

I returned the hug and watched as she handed me something.

“You got a letter all of the way from Amareica,” she said.

I looked at it and realized that it was from Louis.

“Thanks Derpy!  How’s Dinky and Sparkler doing?” I asked.

“Oh, they’re both doing good.  Dinky has a little colt friend, but she doesn’t think that I know, and Sparkler got her acceptance letter!  She’s getting to go to school in your world!  I’m so proud for her!  It’s somewhere called Yell or something like that.  All I know is she’s really excited!” she said.

I couldn’t help but smile.  Derpy had that ability around anyone.  She was just so bubbly that it was hard not to smile around her.

“Would you like something to drink or a snack?” I asked.

“Maybe later, but I’ve got to finish getting the mail out.  Old Swifty will be mad if I don’t finish my route,” she whispered.

“Oh!  I’m having a congratulations party for Sparkler, and I wanted to invite you and Lyra,” she said.

“Where are you having it?” Lyra’s voice asked.

I turned to see my marefriend coming outside.

“Well, I thought I could have it at home, because I’m trying to have enough money saved back to make sure that we can get Sparkler everything she needs for her new school,” she said.

“Could we have it here?” I asked.

Lyra nodded and then before either of us could say a word we were gathered into a tight hug by the Pegasus.

“Thank you both so much!!!!” Derpy exclaimed.

“It’s fine really,” Lyra managed to get out before we were released.

Derpy pranced around happily for several seconds.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Derpy asked.

“Let us take care of it all.  We’ll make sure that it’s a good party for her,” I replied.

She smiled, hefted up her mailbag, and began to trot down the street.

“I don’t think that we could have made her any happier,” I said.

“She deserves it,” Lyra said as she stepped back inside, “Wait…  We didn’t get when she wanted to have it!”

Lyra bolted out the door and I ran after her.   After a few minutes we caught up to Derpy, who also felt embarrassed that she didn’t even think to tell us when she wanted to have the party.  She explained that she wanted to have it tomorrow night if at all possible, and Lyra agreed that we would list the entire place as reserved for the party.  Derpy smiled, hugged us both again with enough force I thought my eyes were going to pop out of my head, and started to trot back down the road delivering the mail.

We walked back to the bar, walked inside, and I sat down my first bag of pay before opening the letter.  I took it out and unfolded it.

Yo Donnie Boy,

Are you freaking kidding me? I have to break in a new drinking buddy now? I mean geesh, I knew you were all gaga over the ponies and shit, but going native seems a bit much even for you. Next thing you know you are gonna tell me you are banging some pony chick, or dude. You never really were clear on which team you were batting for, with all that pink and rainbows.

I'm kidding of course, calm down. I am not in the least bit surprised that you managed to find some happiness over there in rainbow horse land. Got a job and everything eh? They must be really hard up for hand jobs. (hah, get it? You got a job using your hands!) Speaking of jobs, the boss is gonna have an aneurism when I tell him. He's been really cranky and twitchy since you bugged out, and they have me training some asshat that doesn't even know how to do a virus removal. Little fucker can sell his ass off though, so it leaves me alone to do the real work.

Don't worry about your stuff, just send me a list of what you need. Pinkie says she can use her connections to get it all sent over as a diplomatic package. That means no customs inspections! (hinthint) Maybe I can get some of my uncle's special imported Jamaican ganj and you can show the locals how to really dance on rainbows. Can horses even get high?

So tell me how things work out, stay in touch, and don't make us humans look bad. I don't wanna have to come over there and kick your ass or anything.

Peace,

Louis

P.S. Pinkie says she’s happy now that she has another excuse to try and get me to visit her home town. No promises though. She also says steer clear of some chick named Lyra, "She's a Man Eater!"

No, seriously. She did the entire fucking "Maneater" song, with choreographed backup dancers. Turns out that waitress we talked to used to date her, and she’s some sorta human obsessed freak. Then again, that doesn't sound any different than Pinkie to me. (Fuck, now I have Superfreak stuck in my head) Peace!

I grinned and shook my head as I finished the letter.  I knew that I needed to go ahead and make that list before too long.  I could go ahead and do it.  I started to think about it when Lyra stood on her hind legs and pulled me into a hug.  I returned the hug and smiled.  She pulled back and looked at the bits on the counter.

“So, what do you want to spend your bits on?” she asked.

A grin crossed my lips.  I really wanted to take her out, somewhere nice, and the first thought was Canterlot.  I knew she had been there before.  She had been in Princess Cadence’s wedding, but I figured there would be something we could do together there that we couldn’t do here.  Of course I also thought about taking a trip out toward Apploosa, Manehattan, or somewhere else, but I stopped myself.  I had the money for the tickets, but I didn’t want to blow it all on that.  I wanted to do something special for her, and then it occurred to me what I would like to do.

“Lyra, how would you feel about us having a picnic?” I asked.

She nodded, and before long the two of us gathered a few things together and left.  I had an idea of where we could go.  I had seen the place a while back.  I figured that I wasn’t the first Brony that had come to Ponyville, and I was certain of it when I visited the lake.  On the other side of it, near the woods, was a small cabin.  Any fan of the series that had read My Little Dashie a Threequel would recognize the cabin.  It had been carefully made exactly like the story had depicted, and even outside of it someone had put up a mailbox with the name Mr. Brian Dash painted on it.

I had seen the cabin the last time Lyra and I had walked by here, and I had to explain to her what it meant.  She stopped, wrapped her head around the idea that someone had wrote a story about Dash ending up in the human world, and then she asked if there was one featuring her.  I left out some of the more, ummm, cloppy stories and instead told her about a My Little Dashie Clone that was written with her being the main character.  She seemed to like the idea that she ended up on Earth, but she wondered why they wrote her having to come back.

That had been the previous weekend, and I knew that going out there this weekend would be fun.  We stopped by Sugarcube corner, and the market square, before we headed out.  Once we were out there we spread out the blanket, set out some of the food we had gotten, and were getting ready to enjoy a little time alone.  It was nearly perfect, or it would have been right before we heard the sound of a muffled scream from the cabin.

We looked at each other and both of us ran toward the cabin.  I tried the door and found it unlocked, which was weird because whoever had built it had left the building locked.  We stepped inside and found two adolescent fillies standing off against each other.  They looked upset, and one of them looked like their cheek was swelling.

“Hey, what’s going on in here?” I asked.

They both turned toward me and I reconized both of them.  I had met Diamond Tiara before, but the other adolescent filly was Silver Spoon.  She looked beyond angry, and behind Diamond standing off to the side, while looking guilty, was a light gray Pegasus colt with dark hair.  The one thing that was different from the show and how he stood now was a small cutie mark showing a storm cloud with a lightning bolt through it.  I reconized Rumble, and I could tell that something had certainly happened here.

“Nothing,” Diamond said as she tried to walk out.

“It wasn’t NOTHING!  I…  I can’t believe you did this Diamond!  I thought we were friends!” Silver Spoon screamed.

“Silver, please,” Rumble said before she shot him a glare.

I watched it unfold and I realized what had happened.  Apparently Lyra realized what happened as well and she shook her head.

“This is low,” she said.

“Why do you care?  It’s not my fault that he practically begged me to come out here,” Diamond said.

I knew there was going to be a fight and I stepped toward them both.

“Okay, we’re stopping this right now.  All three of you need to come out and we’re all heading back to town,” I said.

The group looked at me like I had sprouted another head.  Diamond started to say something, but Lyra’s horn began to glow, and she quickly decided to quiet down.

“I’m sorry about our date,” I said.

“It’s fine, we can always do this again.  Maybe we can even spend a night in here,” she suggested.

We walked behind the two fillies and lone colt.  I knew there was going to be something said at some point, and I hated that Filthy Rich was going to be pulled in on it.  He was quite a bit like the show depicted him, but regardless this was my boss’ daughter, and I was a little nervous about letting him know what we had found.  When we finally arrived back at town it didn’t take long to find somepony, Cheerilee actually, and explain what had happened.  She looked at them and I saw her look at Silver Spoon very sympathetically.

“Don’t worry I’ll take care of it.  You too go ahead and finish your date,” she said.

We looked at each other, nodded, and decided to head back out to the lake.  When we got there it was starting to get night.  Lyra had already let everypony know that the bar was closed for the evening, so we decided to spend the night in the cabin.  If the attention to detail on the outside was amazingly close it didn’t even come close to matching the attention made to the inside of the cabin.

The firepit, Brian’s bedroom, Rainbow Dash’s bedroom, the living room, even a painting of a field with a rainbow hung on the wall.  The entire cabin had been a tribute to a story that was just that.  It was a story.  I knew the real Rainbow Dash was on Earth somewhere.  I didn’t know what she was doing, other than the fact that she had visited Louis and Pinkie for a while, but I couldn’t help but wonder what she would make of this.

We found the bed that Rumble and Diamond Tiara had used and stripped the sheets.  Lyra said she would take them back home with us, wash them, and we could bring them back out here.  We ended up getting a fire going in the fire pit, sitting together, enjoying the meal we had put together, and soon we simply curled up beside each other near the fire.  I ended up putting it out, and the two of us made it up to the unsoiled room, and checked the bed out.  Once I was sure that we didn’t have any surprises waiting on it, or in the room itself, I quickly undressed and crawled into the bed with her.

She snugged close to me as we lay in the cabin.

She turned toward me, and captured me in a kiss.  It was sweet, wonderful, and led to a fantastic moment between the two of us.

“We’ve… we’ve got two sets of sheets to clean now,” she said while she giggled.

“Yeah, but it was fun,” I said.

She snuggled against me and the two of us quickly fell asleep.  When we woke up I crawled out of bed and found my pants.  I had gotten so used to having my phone to check the time that I knew a regular wrist watch was something I wasn’t going to ever really get used to.  Instead I had bought a pocket watch.  I fished it out of my pants pocket and shook my head.  It wasn’t late, not yet, but we had to hurry if we were going to get everything ready for Sparkler’s party.

I quickly got Lyra up, we gathered up the sheets, I dressed, and we headed back toward Ponyville.  Once we were there the two of us went about getting the bar ready for the party, and I had Lyra go take a shower.  When she came back she had me go do the same.  I rushed through the shower and came back down to find Lyra finishing up getting everything set up.  She gave me a happy smile before I started working the grill.

Within a few minutes dozens of ponies began arriving and standing off in the corners and being quiet.  I got what was going on and Lyra and I both got in on the fun.

“Mom? What’s going on?” a young mare asked from outside.

We watched Derpy lead Sparkler inside and once inside I could tell that she was confused about what was going on.  She got about six steps inside before there was a collective “Surprise!” from around the room.

Sparkler made a very quiet squeak before she removed the blindfold.  She looked around to see dozens of ponies she reconized.  It wasn’t long after that we began serving everyone.  The entire mood was fantastic.  It wasn’t long after that everypony began to give a small gift to Sparkler.  Most of it was stuff that she could use in college, and while I hadn’t bought anything I did have something.  I walked over to her and handed her a card I had in my wallet.

She floated it over and looked at it.

“That’s a Fee-bay gift card.  I don’t know if you’ll need it, but it has about ten thousand credits on there.  That’s enough to get a couple of your text books for free,” I said.

She smiled and gave me a quick hug.

“Thanks!” she said.

I walked back and watched the family together.  Dinky, who had walked in behind Derpy earlier, had gotten tired and fell asleep against the table.  Derpy was supporting her with a wing while she told Sparkler how proud she was of her.  Then she said something that made the young mare blush.

“Remember, if you meet a nice stallion or human stallion you’ve got to test the goods first.  Don’t saddle up to anypony if you don’t know what they’re like in bed,” Derpy said.

“MOM!” Sparkler exclaimed.

I couldn’t help but let a small laugh escape.  Finally, the party began to end, and one everyone was gone we began cleaning up.  When we finished I found a piece of paper and a pen.  I figured now was as good of a time to write Louis.

Louis!

Seriously man, thanks, and please tell Pinkie thanks too.  Most of my electronics in the apartment won’t work, although I do have my parents old as the Earth itself VCR and television.  They’re working on getting VHS over here, and I figured we could be trend setters if we had one before everyone else.  So, if you don’t mind to ship those two items.  I also have a pretty large collection of comic books in the closet that I would like to come over, and of course all of my old clothes.  By the way man… I don’t think that they can get my car through the gate.  I’ll get it when I get back, but if you and Pinkie need to borrow it there’s a spare key in my apartment.  Drive it in good health.

About Lyra… to be honest that’s who I’m with.  I’m guessing that we just kind of fit together.  Oh, man…  Say, if you both go into the apartment there’s a video saved on my computer that you might not want Pinkie to watch.  I had intended to delete it off when you told me about Pinkie living with you, but it completely slipped my mind.  Anyway, don’t let her watch it.  I think that it would really bother her.  Sure, it’s fake, but I’d hate to think that something I had saved on there would hurt her feelings.  Before you say that you doubt she could find it remember this is Pinkie Pie we’re talking about.  Everything you’ve told me only enforces that rule.  So, please, delete Cupcakes HD by MisterDavie.  And I wouldn’t suggest you watching it either.

Thanks man,

Don.

PS: How in the hell did she get backup dancers in your house?  Wait… First rule, this is Pinkie Pie…  yeah, got it.  Still… That’s insane man.

I finished the letter, put it into an envelope, and sat it down.  I stretched, yawned, and walked up stairs to our bedroom.

Love and Loyality

Be Careful what you wish for

Chapter 9 – ‘Love and Loyalty’

I looked up at the clock.  There was another thirty minutes and then I could take a lunch.  Normally I wouldn’t be counting down, but I had ended up oversleeping this morning.  The end result was that I didn’t have enough time for breakfast.  Instead I had just enough time to get dressed, get out of the house, and get to work.  I felt my stomach reminding me of its empty state again and let out a low groan.

“Excuse me, but I heard that there would be some home theaters coming in soon.  I wanted to know if they had arrived yet,” a familiar voice asked.

I looked down to see Love Tap.  I smiled, grabbed a binder that Mr. Rich had placed by everypony, and opened it up for her.  The VHS players and Televisions were on the way.  They had passed the initial testing phase, which according to rumors meant both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna had played around with it and decided that it was indeed wonderful, and they were on their way to being distributed.  Love Tap began flipping pages and I watched as she stopped on a page that had a fifty-two inch television.  She studied it for a moment, and then she flipped back through the binder before handing it back to me.

“Chip is so interested in the idea of having a theater at home, and I like it too.  It would be nice to invite friends over to watch a movie with us.  I like the larger screen, but I think that the midsize one is the one that would be the easiest for us to buy,” she said.

“You know if you want the larger size you can put it on lay-a-way.  Mr. Rich will let you pay it out,” I said.

She seemed to consider it for a moment.

“Let me talk to Chip and see if that’s something he would like to do,” she said.

I nodded and handed her a flyer.  She looked at it and then back up at me.

“Mr. Rich is going to have a free demonstration of the equipment tomorrow, after five, and show a full movie.  There’s going to be hayburgers, hayfries, Zap Apple Pies, and some fish bites.  He wants to give everypony a chance to really experience what this technology could do,” I said.

She nodded and trotted off with the flyer.  I looked at the tally sheet sitting beside me.  Sure, I was mainly here to repair the technology, but if there was the potential to make a sale I was expected to make it.  So far I had fifteen confirmed pre-purchases for the VHS players/recorders and televisions.  I wasn’t trying to sale anything that I felt somepony couldn’t afford.  I didn’t like doing that back on Earth, and here Filthy Rich actually discouraged that kind of tactic.  He encouraged us to sale within the customer’s means and later if they had the extra to get something more expensive they would.

I thought it was a hell of a lot more fair, and it didn’t seem to cause us to lose any customers.  My thoughts on Filthy Rich’s business practices soon came and went as the minutes ticked by.  Finally lunch came around and I walked outside of the store.  Usually Lyra and I would meet for lunch, and we’d either eat at a small café or we’d go back home and fix something there, but she had told me that Derpy had asked her to come with her to the spa today.  She wanted to thank us both for having Sparkler’s party, and while I couldn’t go I didn’t see any reason why Lyra couldn’t enjoy getting a little pampered.

That meant today I was on my own.  I started walking toward the café I normally ate at with Lyra when I noticed a new store opening.  I looked at it for a moment and then walked over to it and looked at the name of the store.

“Enchanted Videos,” I read as I looked at the sign.

Louis had sent everything I asked him too, including my bottle of Captain Morgan, and a bottle of what he called ‘Real Rum’.  I had put both bottles up with the plan of enjoying one with Lyra, and most likely gifting the Captain Morgan to someone else.  Still, among everything that was sent to me was my parents old forty – six inch television and VHS player.  It was one of the few things I had kept after they passed, and from what I could remember from the gateway I knew that the television should work without any problem.  The VHS player should work, but just on off chance Lyra went ahead and did an enchantment on it.

There had been a couple of movies, but nothing I really wanted to start us off with.  I wanted to give Lyra a movie she would really enjoy, and that meant watching something that was still considered to be amazing.  I made my decision and walked into the store.  It smelled like fresh popped buttery popcorn.  The scent lingered in the air, and I couldn’t help but think about all of the old video rental places I had went to when I was a kid.

I could still remember the smell of Poppin’ Fresh Theater Style Popcorn lingering around inside of those places as I walked through the rental places with my parents.  I looked around the video store as the memory flooded my senses.  It was almost as if I could see my seven year old self walking beside my parents, heading over to the newest releases, and seeing what we could watch as a family.  I stopped and looked at the movies on display.  Beside each of the movies there was a place holder for the ponified version that would be coming out soon.  I looked over the movies until I finally saw something that I really thought Lyra would enjoy.

The memories of watching The Princess Bride brought a smile to my face.  I had loved the movie when I was younger, and I had a feeling that Lyra would really enjoy it as well.  I took the video cassette up to the counter and looked at the unicorn working there.  He grinned at me and I felt the cassette lift out of my hands, it glowed a bright green for a moment, and then he placed it into a brown paper bag.

“That’s a wonderful story you’ve chosen,” he said.

“Thanks, how much do I owe you Mr…  You know I don’t know your name,” I said.

“Just call me Dusk.  That’s what all of my friends call me, and well, I like to think of my customers as my friends,” the dark Lavender unicorn stallion said.

“Thanks Dusk, so how much do I owe you?” I asked.

“That will be fifteen bits,” he replied.

I fished out the bits, handed them over to him, and watched as he put them away.  He floated the brown paper bag with my movie over to me and gave me a slight nod.

“Don’t be a stranger,” he said.

I nodded and walked out of the building.  I felt the comfortable weight of the bagged video cassette in my hand.  I quickly pulled out my pocket watch and noticed that I still had some time for lunch.  I quick glance around told me that going to the café would be out of the question.  It was busy, and there was no way I had time to run home to get something to eat.  Another quick look and I noticed the market place.

I knew that I really needed to eat something other than just something sweet, but there wasn’t too many choices.  I looked toward Mac’s Apple cart, but the line was extremely long, and I didn’t have that kind of time.  Instead I noticed Carrot Top.  I walked toward her stand and smelled the air.  She had carrot cakes, carrot salads, raw carrots, and a thin soup.

“What would you like?” she asked.

I studied the foods available, and quickly decided on a bowl of the soup a piece of carrot cake.  She dipped out a couple of lattles of the soup and placed a piece of the carrot cake on a napkin.  I thanked her, quickly drained the soup, which was surprisingly good.  It was crème carrots in rich butter sauce.  It was thicker than I had thought, but not so thick that I couldn’t enjoy it.  I gave her back her bowl, which she promptly put into a container for, and then I took the first bite of the carrot cake.

I had been told that Sugarcube Corner was the go to place for sweets.  That nothing could even come close to matching their cupcakes, cakes, or other deserts.  Oh, that was wrong.  Sugarcube corner was indeed fantastic, but the carrot cake I currently found myself eating was made to perfection.

It was moist, not wet, just moist.  The flavor had a hint of cinnomen, sugar, and coconut mixed with the carrot.  The buttercream frosting didn’t have the sickening sweet taste of mass produced deserts.  It tasted completely homemade.

“Lyra would love this,” I said.

“Yeah, her and Bon Bon used to buy an entire carrot cake for the weekend.  Of course she hasn’t eaten one since Bonny up and left.  Say, you’re her new coltfriend right?” Carrot asked.

“Yeah, I’m Don,” I said sticking out my hand.

“Don.  It’s a good name, a little strange, but then you humans all have slightly funny names.  Like Berry’s coltfriend.  His name’s Terrance.  Still, damn good stallion, or ummmm… man, he’s accepted little Berry Pinch as his own daughter.  I was kind of afraid that Berry wasn’t going to find anyone.  What with her relationship with Shaken Spur going south like did it,” she said.

I watched as she shook her head.

“I swear you’d never meet a shorter tempered stallion.  He was constantly flying off of the handle at the smallest things.  I guess that the arguments got too much for her, and Berry told him that they were done.  It was the best thing in world for her though.  She met her husband about a year ago,” Carrot said.

“Glad to hear it,” I said.

“Say, how about I make you and Lyra a carrot cake?” she asked.

“Uh what?” I asked.

“A carrot cake.  Seriously, I’d love to make one for you two, and maybe it would make Lyra smile a little bit.  Besides, I do miss talking to her,” Carrot said.

“Sure, but if this goes south I didn’t ask for it,” I said.

“How could this go south?  Everypony loves sweets,” Carrot Top said.

There was a dozen thoughts about how it could south in a hurry.  I had never really dated anyone before, but I had heard stories about how someone had made the mistake of doing something or buying something that someone’s ex had done or bought before.  It seemed foolish, but those hurt feelings, from what I heard, seemed to boil up and cause a fight.  That was something I wanted to stay away from.  I didn’t want to fight with Lyra.  I was happy, and I really wanted to remain happy.

Still, if carrot cake had been a favorite desert of hers then it wouldn’t hurt to share it with her.  I could always make the argument that this was so we could create a new memory with it.  It made sense, or at least it did in my head.  The decision to go ahead and give Carrot Top the okay with making the cake seemed to be setting better.  It would be a chance to do something special for Lyra, and at the same time it would be helping to create a new memory with her.  That was something I wanted to do anyway.

“Carrot, why don’t you bring the cake over tonight?  I picked up a movie, and I thought that we could invite a few friends over to watch it with us,” I said.

She practically beamed as she heard that.  I watched as she walked around the cart, stood on her hind legs, and pulled me into a tight hug.  I returned it and then let go.  I stepped back and checked my watch.  My eyes bulged as I realized that I had to be clocked back in about four minutes.  I gave her wave, and she returned it.  From there I ran straight back to work.

The rest of the day passed fairly uneventfully.  I had to fix a dozen or so cassette players, at least forty cassette tapes, and then I had to explain the differences between the different models of televisions.  It wasn’t hard work, but some of the ponies just didn’t quite grasp why RCA was so much cheaper than Soni, and then there was the questions about the three in one cabinets.

These things had been the bane of existence in an untold number of men’s lives back in the 1970’s and 80’s.  Huge cabinets that usually had a thirty-eight inch screen, record player, Stereo 8 player, and of course a RF adapter port for Nintari’s Home Entertainment System.  I was sure that eventually the home video game system would make it over, and these cabinet Televisions would be selling even faster than they were right now.  The last pony to look at one, and decide on it, was a white unicorn that I knew all too well.  In fact, she was the last customer of mine for the day and I watched as she mulled over the decision for a while.  Finally she let out a sigh and looked up at me.

“I really wish that Octi was here for this,” she said.

“Where is Octavia?” I asked.

Vinyl Scratch reached into the saddle bags she was wearing and pulled out a picture of Octavia playing along with both of the members of 2 cellos.  I really shouldn’t have been surprised.

“She had this huge opportunity, and you know I didn’t want her to pass it up.  She’s like a sister to me, and I want her to be happy.  Still, it makes decisions like this a serious pain,” she said.

“Well, I’m not sure what you want to spend, but I can tell you that the turntable in the cabinet is pretty decent, but it’s not mixing decent.  It’s more along the lines of straight listening.  You can do some mixing with it, but it sound really retro with the speaker system the cabinet has.  Now, that said the cabinets do have some built in features such as the stereo 8 player.  Then again there’s every chance in the world that you already have one,” I said.

She nodded and looked at the television again.

“Then Vinyl, seriously, why don’t you look at a regular television and a VHS player.  There’s really no reason to get one of these things unless you really just want to combine three or four things,” I said.

She looked at a regular set and then back at the cabinet.

“I’ll take the cabinet,” she said.

“You sure?” I asked.

“Yeah, Octi likes to listen to her classical music, and this will give her a turntable to do it on, and it will actually match a lot of our furniture,” she stated.

I shrugged my shoulders and rung her up.  She paid for it, and I called up a couple of our delivery stallions.  They looked at the sale, groaned, and went to working on moving the heavy piece of entertainment furniture.  I watched them both feeling bad about it going down like this, but then again it was just one of those things.  I checked my watch and smiled.  It was time to clock out, head home, and present Lyra with what I figured would be a very welcomed gift.

I walked to the back, clocked out with the manual time clock, and walked to my locker.  It didn’t take very long at all until I was out the front doors and heading back home.  When I got home I helped work the bar for a couple of hours.  There was the normal crowd there, and it wasn’t absolutely slow, but then again this wasn’t the busiest that I’d see the place either.  Finally, after about two and half hours Lyra gave the final call, and she told everypony that she was closing the bar for the night.  Most of them nodded and left without a problem.

“So, what are we doing tonight?” she asked.

I grinned as I grabbed the brown paper sack from under the bar and pulled it out.  I opened it and revealed the movie I had picked up.

“I thought that we could invite a few friends over, and watch a movie together.  I can set up the Television and VHS down here.  It should give us plenty of room to move around with,” I said.

She nodded, and the sound of someone knocking came from the door.  I went and opened it to see Carrot Top coming in with the cake.  I wasn’t sure why, but I had been expecting to see a normal sized cake.  What Carrot Top brought in was full sheet carrot cake.  It was huge, and I honestly wondered exactly how Lyra and I were going to eat it all.

Lyra looked at it and then at me.  A moment later another knock came and I opened it to see Derpy.

“I got a foal sitter to watch Dinky, and I thought that I might ask Carrot Top if she wanted to go do something, but she was gone.  So I thought about asking if you two wanted to do something, and HEY CARROT TOP!” she exclaimed.

Carrot Top smiled and looked at Derpy.

“Derpy, how are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m okay, say, what are all of you doing?” she asked.

“Well, Don got a movie for us to watch on our home theater,” Lyra said.

“That sounds like fun!” she exclaimed.

“Would you like to watch it with us?” I asked.

She nodded and I grabbed another chair.  A moment later something flashed and we saw Fluttershy and Discord.  Fluttershy looked a little confused at first and then looked at Discord.

“Discord, where we are?” she asked.

“Why we’re among friends, and I’m sure that they wanted to invite us to do whatever it is that they’re doing,” he said.

“We were just getting ready to watch a movie,” Lyra said.

“Which movie?” Discord asked.

“What he means is that sounds like fun, and could we maybe watch it with you if you don’t mind?” Fluttershy asked.

Sure, it’s not a problem,” I said.

We got the seats together and I walked up the stairs and grabbed the VHS player and Television.  As I carried it down I remembered how bulky and heavy these old televisions could be.  I nearly dropped both of them, but eventually I made it down and set it up on the bar.  I quickly got it all hooked up and plugged it in.  Once everything was hooked up I turned on the television and watched as it the screen showed the standard snow that usually accompanied turning on a set.  I turned on the VHS player and watched as the screen turned to a light green one.  I wondered if it was like that because of Lyra’s enchantment, but after a moment I pushed it out of my mind.

I opened the hard plastic case around the movie and pulled it out.  I slipped it into the player and the first thing that popped up was the normal movie trailers that usually came with these things.  The ponified version of Ghostbusters was first, and then it was Return to the Crystal Kingdom.  We had nearly went and watched that at the theater.  I grinned and watched as the movie started.  Suddenly a bright golden light began to stretch out of the television.  I backed up as it began to engulf all of us and a moment later I was looking around in confusion.

“What in the hell?” I asked.

“Don!” Lyra’s voice called.

I turned to see her walking toward me.  She was wearing a very familiar dress, and that’s where it occurred to me what was going on.  Somehow we were inside of the movie.

“Why do I want to call you farm boy?” she asked.

“It’s because we’re in the movie,” I replied.

“Really?  Wow, this place is beautiful,” she said.

She looked at a saddle hanging up and smiled at me.

“Farm Boy, polish my saddle,” she said.

“As you wish,” I said.

I walked over to it and found a clean rag.  Taking care I lifted the saddle down and dipped the rag into a small bowl that was filled with scented oil.  I worked it into the saddle, and as I worked I wondered how it was that my hands somehow knew what to do.  I had never done this before in my life, but for some reason I seemed to know exactly how to polish a saddle in such a way that not only made it shine, but rejuvenated the leather.

Lyra watched me as I did my work.  I wanted to do more than that, but something kept me grounded.  It was like a voice inside of me telling me that she was too far above me.  I couldn’t reach her unless she gave me a sign that she wanted me.  The days passed much like this.  Lyra would demand something of me, and I’d happily do it.  Finally after what seemed like a month she walked up to me, stood on her hind legs, and leaned against me.  I felt the warmth of her breath as she nuzzled my neck.

“I love you Westley,” she said.

“I love you too Buttercup,” I replied.

I had wanted to say Lyra, and I can only assume that she wanted to say Don.  Regardless we moved toward each other and kissed deeply.  It was a heaven sent.  I had missed the feeling of my marefriend’s lips upon my own.  I pulled her closer and the both of us let out a sigh.

The days passed quicker than I would like from there.  We worked together, but still I wouldn’t do more than kiss her.  After another month I held her against me.

“I have to go Buttercup.  Here, I have no way to make the kind of living that you deserve.  I need to travel across the sea and start there.  I need to set things into motion that will ensure that we’re doing better than just getting by.  I want to give you the kind of life that I know you deserve, and I want our children to come into this world wanting nothing,” I said.

“I won’t stop you, but please Westley, come back to me.  It would kill me if I were to lose you,” she replied.

I nodded and left.

Lyra’s P.O.V.

I watched Don as he left.  I had wanted to call him Westley, and there was more than a couple of times I wanted him to ravage me to no end.  We had been together for nearly two months without actually being together.  I shook my head and watched Don disappear in the distance.  I didn’t like this.  I didn’t like this at all.  It reminded me far too much of when Bonny had left me.  Before I had lost myself in taking pictures of the human and pony couples around the area, but now I was just so completely lost.

I didn’t have a camera, there wasn’t anypony around to watch or take pictures of, and I didn’t even have my bar to run.  Instead I looked at the modest farm I was on.  Sweet Apple Acres was far larger than this place.  It completely dwarfed this small homestead.  Still there had to be something that I could do here to keep me from feeling so isolated and lonely.  I walked out to the shed that acted like a barn and saw a single cow.

“How are you doing?” I asked.

The pregnant heifer turned around and began lowing.  I expected some kind of answer.  After all the cows in Equestria could talk, but this one didn’t say a word.  Instead it merely mooed and continued lowing. I saw a bucket hanging up and looked back at the cow.  I walked toward the bucket and focused on it.

I stood looking at that stupid bucket for ten minutes and nothing happened.  I couldn’t move it, I couldn’t lift it, and I couldn’t blast it to pieces with my magic.  Suddenly I found myself in a very odd situation.  I didn’t have my magic.  I prayed that I was wrong and tried to focus my magic into a hand shape.  There wasn’t even a spark from my horn.  I fell to the ground stunned.

“No, nononononono NO!” I shouted as I tried it again.

After four hours of realizing that I didn’t have magic, and that if I wanted to eat, drink, or anything else I was doing it the Earth Pony way I found myself crying.  I had never been without my magic.  Even as a baby I had the ability to use my magic, and actually my mom had told me that I was more than a handful when I would magically spike from time to time.  Instead now… Now I couldn’t even begin to focus my magic.  It was well after dark before I fully accepted that I couldn’t use my magic.

When I left the shed it became apparent that I was going to have to get something to eat.  I walked into the small farm house, looked at the food, and realized the work I had in store for me.  I began to gather the ingredients for a sparse supper and set to work.  It wasn’t as if I’ve ever cooked before.  I cooked each night, but I was so used to using my magic.  I was used to being able to manipulate everything around me, and now I was finding how hard it was to everything in a normal sense.  I stoked the fire in the fireplace and sat out the grill on it.  I nearly burned myself and cursed my carelessness.  I had to do things far more carefully.  I couldn’t just go about this like a silly little filly.

This began a daily ritual that I followed for the following month.  I would cook, learning how to do everything like an Earth Pony, and I soon learned that there was horses, actual horses, in this place that were not sapient beings.  When I realized that they were like the cows I began to understand more about Don’s culture, or what it had been.

Still, I couldn’t bring myself to ride one of them.  It felt… weird trying to.  It was almost as if I was cheating on Don when I climbed on the back of the large brown stallion.  I knew he wouldn’t think of it like that, but it felt that way.  I went out to milk the cow which I decided to name Bonny, for various reasons, and that’s when the one neighbor in three miles came to the house.

She was a plump human, with a heart shaped face.  Her cheeks were always rosy, and she was always pleasant.  She walked up to our door and knocked.  I watched as this pleasant, sweet, and normally wonderful woman began to fall apart.  She cried out and pulled me into a hug, one I returned happily, and she began telling me that there is always a reason for terrible things to happen.  I was ready to tell her that no matter what it was I would be there to help her when she looked into my eyes and I felt a fear I had never known shake me.  Tears began to well up in my eyes, and an understanding draped over me like a warm blanket.

She wasn’t here to have a friend tell her that everything would be fine.  She wasn’t here to listen to me inform her that everything would work out.  She was here because something bad had happened, but she was here for me.

“Westley, what happened to my Westley?” I asked.

My voice trembled with the fear I felt flooding through me.  Part of me wanted to run away from the news.  I wanted go away from here, away from all of this, and simply disappear.  But that part of me was weaker than the part of me that loved Don.  Fear in this instance meant nothing to me.  It would not keep me from hearing about Don.

“My child, the royal port master sent word.  He traveled to our house believing it yours, and he left word that…  Child I am so sorry, but Westley’s ship never made it.  It was overtaken by the Dread Pirate Roberts,” she said.

“There’s not even a chance he could bartered for is there?” I asked.

“No child, the Dread Pirate Roberts never leaves any survivors.  I’m truly sorry my child.  Know that I am here for you if you need me,” she said.

I barely spoke with her after that.  I knew she was honest in what she said. She would be here for me, but it didn’t really matter.  Don was gone.  I didn’t know how these things worked here, but one thing she did know, and it was something Don had told her once.  Humans didn’t have magic in their world.  It wasn’t like he could do what some of the old legends had done in her world.  He couldn’t beat death.  I felt myself fall into despair and I didn’t want anything.  Food, water, speaking, none of it matter to me now.

For days I sat alone in the small room I had claimed as my own.  Finally, after a week a messenger came to the house.  He informed me that Prince Humperdinck had heard of me from the locals and wished to meet with me.  I followed him, even though I really had no desire to follow him at all I followed the messenger until we entered an inn that was completely emptied.  I saw the Royal as he walked into the room.

There had been one time I had the upmost displeasure of meeting Prince Blueblood.  The experience was far less than gratifying, and I could easily say that if first impressions were any kind of standard to go by then both Blueblood and Humperdinck were cut from the same cloth.  I stood in the dress Don had said looked so beautiful on me as the Prince circled around me.  Once again I felt like turning and running.  That part of my biological heritage from my ancestors screaming that I get away from this predator.  He placed a hand on my muzzle and brought it toward him.

“Open your mouth,” he commanded.

Again, I didn’t know why I simply obeyed him.  My mouth opened against my will and I stood there with him peering inside of it.

“She has good teeth.  Yes, I believe the locals were correct in saying that you would easily pass as a royal.  Tell me girl, do you truly want to spend your life here?  There is nothing waiting for you, except perhaps for a pauper’s death,” he said.

“Sire, it is not up to me.  I merely do what I was born into,” I answered.

“That is a very good answer from what I suppose is a very loyal subject.  Then it occurs to me that part of what you were born into is to serve the nobility.  Perhaps you know, and if you do not then I shall enlighten you, my father passed a law some time ago about how we may choose our brides from the peasants.  It was this choice that allowed him to wed my mother, and now, I make my choice.  You are well loved by the community here, beautiful, and I believe will be able to bare me strong children.  Rejoice that you have been favored upon,” he said.

I felt sick.  He talked of children so casually.  It was as if he didn’t realize that bringing a life into this world was only meant to be an act of love.  Instead he talked as if those children would be little more than tools for him to use.  He looked toward two men and nodded.

“Come Princess,” one of them said with a bow.

“Princess?” I asked.

“Of course, you have been chosen to be the bride of Prince Humperdinck.  You are to become the Crowned Princess of Florin,” the kinder of the two Humperdinck said.

I followed them outside and rode on the carriage toward the castle.  As we neared it I realized how different it looked from Canterlot Castle.  It looked as if it was designed so differently, but even with the differences I felt the same sense of power from it.

“Prepare her, for she shall be announced to the peasants within the hour!” Humperdinck demanded.

I watched as he took off, and just as quickly as I was brought here I was whisked away into a room where several women stripped me naked.  Even though I didn’t have the problem with being naked that most humans did I felt a sudden need to cover myself.  I felt one of the women begin to scrub my back as she tisked at me.

“Princess, don’t try to hide your body from us.  We are the royal maiden servants, and trust us, we’ve all seen what everything looks like.  You are not the first royal we’ve had to wash,” she said.

I felt them lift me to my hind legs and scrub down my belly.  The nervousness I felt simply climbed as they cleaned my nether bits.  One of them giggled as they worked.

“When is the last time you’ve seen a virgin?” she asked.

“The last time was when a girl was chosen and given to Count Rugen.  The poor thing had an entire life ahead of her.  The last I heard he completely ruined her for any kind of life once he is done with her.  She’ll never be a bride.  At least this dear one has been chosen for a far better reason,” the kinder one said.

“I’m so sure she was chosen for a kinder reason,” the other one said.

“Please, do not talk about me as if I am not here,” I said.

“I apologize your Highness.  It’s just that from what I’ve heard Humperdinck is a bit of a sadist.  I fear that his reason for choosing you may have nothing to do with being noble,” she said.

I nodded and thought about that for a moment.  I wasn’t going to give myself to him anyway.  I couldn’t end up doing that.  I looked around, but instead of running I felt as if I had to stay.

“Come your Highness, Prince Humperdinck is ready to announce you to the people,” one of the maidens said.

I followed them into the courtyard.

“My people, a month from now, our country will have its 500th anniversary. On that sundown, I shall marry a lady who was once a commoner like yourselves. But perhaps you will not find her common now.  Would you like to meet her?” Prince Humperdinck said to the crowd.

I walked out and he stretched his hand to me.

“My people, the Princess Buttercup,” he said.

I was surprised at being accepted so well by all of the people there.  The introduction lasted for a short time, and then I was led inside.  Once inside I met with the King and Queen.  Both of them were kind, odd, but kind.  As I walked with Humperdinck I expressed the fact that I did not love him.

“My dear, I understand that, but surely you understand that over time you will come to love me.  It is the natural progression of things,” he said.

I wanted to tell him that I would never love him. That there was nothing he could ever do to make me love him, but instead I nodded.

“Perhaps it would do you good to get out and explore the countryside.  Take one of the horses from the stable,” he said.

I walked off toward the stable and looked at the different horses there.  I had absolutely no intention of riding any horse.  Again it felt as if I would be cheating on Don if I did, but regardless within minutes I was helped upon a mare and set off.  As I rode the marriage, being forced from the house I had lived with Don at, and all of the potential duties I would have to face simply melted away.  Instead I found myself enjoying the ride through the country.  I stopped as I neared three figures.  Two of them made my heart swell with happiness.  There before me was Derpy and Fluttershy.  I wanted to hug them and tell them what had happened, but before I could get a word out a short bald man stepped forward.

“A word, my lady. We are but poor, lost circus performers. Is there a village nearby?” he asked.

“There is nothing nearby... not for miles,” I replied.

“Then there will be no one to hear you scream!” he exclaimed.

Derpy looked at me with apologetic face as she struck me over the head.

Fluttershy’s POV

Seeing Lyra made me feel so happy, but I assumed that Derpy was in the same situation that I was in.  We couldn’t talk to her.  Instead the little short bald man that was with us talked to her for a moment and then he had Derpy knock her out.  It was odd that Derpy so large here.  She was easily as tall as Lyra on the back of that horse when she stood on her hind legs.  I decided not to question it.  After all when Spike had used that enchanted comic I became a super hero that turned into a huge monster when I became angry.  My attention went to the short bald man as he was ripping something.

“What is that you're ripping?” I asked with what sounded like a Maredrid accent.

“It's fabric from the uniform of an army officer of Guilder,” the short bald man answered.

“Who's Guilder?” Derpy asked in a deeper voice.

“The country across the sea, the sworn enemy of Florin,” he said as he slapped the horse’s rear, “Go!”

We boarded the ship and he came up behind both of us, “Once the horse reaches the castle, the fabric will make the prince suspect the Guilderians have abducted his love. When he finds her body dead on the Guilder frontier, his suspicions will be totally confirmed,”

“You never said anything about killing anyone,” Derpy said.

“I've hired you to help me start a war. It's a prestigious line of work, with a long and glorious tradition,” he said.

“I just don’t think that it’s right to kill an innocent girl,” she said back to him.

“Am I going mad, or did the word "THINK" escape your lips? YOU WERE NOT HIRED FOR YOUR BRAINS, YOU HIPPOPOTAMIC LAND MASS!  Besides, with your eyes I’m surprised that’s brains enough for you to realize when to eat and when to breathe.  Leave the thinking to those with brains,” he said.

“I agree with Fezzik,” I said.

“OH! The SOT has spoken! What happens to her is not truly your concern. I will kill her! And remember this, NEVER forget this:  when I found you, you were so slobbering drunk, YOU COULDN'T BUY BRANDY!” he then turned to Derpy, “AND YOU! Friendless, brainless, helpless, hopeless! DO YOU WANT ME TO SEND YOU BACK TO WHERE YOU WERE?  UNEMPLOYED?  IN GREENLAND?” he screamed at us.

I looked away from him.  I didn’t like him at all.  He was so angry, and I wished the Rainbow Dash was here.  She would be telling him off and maybe even pushing him over the side of the ship.  I couldn’t help but giggle at the thought.

“Something funny?! Huh?!  Perhaps you want to go back to drowning yourself in liquor, and end up on the wrong side of the law once again!” he shouted at me.

I shook my head and he walked away from me and past Derpy toward the front of the ship.  I walked toward Derpy and leaned in toward her.

“Vizzini, he can... fuss,” I said.

“Fuss, fuss... I think he like to scream... at us,” she said with a giggle.

“Probably he means no... harm,” I replied.

“He's really very short on... charm!” she exclaimed happily.

“Ah, You have a great gift for rhyme,” I said patting her on the back.

“Yes, yes some of the time,” she replied.

“Enough of that!” he shouted.

“Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?” I asked Derpy.

I smiled as I watched her.

“If there are, we'll all be dead!” she exclaimed.

“No more rhymes now, I mean it!” Vizzini shouted.

“Anybody want a peanut?” Derpy chirped.

“DARGUH!!!!!!” Vizzini shouted.

I couldn’t help but laugh.  It felt good to laugh, and to joke.  I watched Lyra and knowing that we found her I hoped that we would find Discord, Don, and Carrot Top before too long.  At least in Spike’s comic we had all been together.  I had been here so long already.  I worried about Angel Bunny, and had the girls already come home?  Oh, if Twilight and Pinkie was home then I didn’t need to worry.  Twilight would make sure that Angel ate, and so would Pinkie, although I told her no more sugar.  Angel was too hard to keep track of after that.

I noticed something behind us in the water.  For a moment it was almost nothing, but then I realized that it was another ship.

“We'll reach the cliffs by dawn,” Vizzini said, “Why are you doing that?”

“Making sure nobody's follow us,” I answered.

Despite him saying what he did to Derpy I starting to wonder if he was the truly stupid one.

“That would be inconceivable,” Vizzini said.

I noticed that Lyra was awake and smiled down at her.  She returned it to me and then looked at him.

“Despite what you think, you will be caught. And when you are, the prince will see you all hanged,” she said.

“Of all the necks on this boat, Highness, the one you should be worrying about is your own,” he said before he looked back at me, “Stop doing that!  We can all relax, it's almost over.”

“You are sure nobody's follow us?” I ask.

“As I told you, it would be absolutely, totally, and in all other ways, inconceivable. No one in Guilder knows what we've done, and no one in Florin could've gotten here so fast,” he paused for a moment, “Out of curiosity, why do you ask?”

“Oh, it's nothing, suddenly, I just happen to look behind us and something is there,” I said pointing out toward the distance.

“What?” he asked

He walked over toward me and I felt him lean against the same side of the ship I was against, “Probably some local fisherman out for a pleasure cruise at night... through eel infested waters.”

The next sound was one of water splashing.  I turned to see Lyra trying to swim away, and inside I cheered her on.  I didn’t want this big meanie we were with to do anything to her.

“Wha-wh- Go in! Get after her!” he screamed.

“I don’t swim,” I replied.

“I only dog paddle,” Derpy said.

“DYEAH!! VEER LEFT! LEFT! LEFT!” he shouted.

Derpy pointed out at the water as a high pitched wailing sound could be heard.

“Do you know what that sound is, Highness? Those are the shrieking eels. If you don't believe me, just wait! They always grow louder when they're about to feed on flesh,” he said.

I watched as an eel swam by her.

“If you swim back now, I promise, no harm will come to you.  I doubt you'll get such an offer from the eels,” Vizzini promised.

I watched Lyra swim back toward us, but as she was an eel began charging her.  Before a thing could be said Derpy reached down and pulled her into the ship.

“Put her down, just put her down,” Vizzini said.

“I think he's getting closer,” I said.

“HE'S NO CONCERN OF OURS. SAIL ON!” he shouted.

I turned to watch him look down at Lyra.

“I suppose you think you're brave, don't you?” he said.

“Only compared to some,” she replied.

He grumbled and walked away from her.  I watched him take a seat at the far end of the ship and his eyes closed.

“Lyra, are you okay?” Derpy asked.

“Don…  it’s terrible he left to go and learn a craft…  My neighbor told me that he had been killed!” she cried.

I walked over to her and pulled her into a tight hug.  She nuzzled against my neck.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“It hurts so bad.  This has been so hard, and I’ve never known my heart to hurt like this before.  Even when Bonny left me it didn’t feel like this,” she whimpered.

“Shhhh… It’s okay.  We’re here now, and we’re going to help as much as we can,” I said.

She nodded.  We sat together in the cold as the night passed.  I looked up and noticed the ship from the previous night.

“Look! He's right on top of us! I wonder if he's using the same wind we are using,” I said.

“Whoever he is, he's too late. SEE? THE CLIFFS OF INSANITY! HURRY UP! MOVE THE THING! AND THAT OTHER THING!” Vizzini shouted.

We began preparing the ship to dock and once it was we started leaving it.

“MOVE IT!” he shouted as we exited the ship, “We're safe.”

He pointed to a rope and began strapping what looked like harnesses onto Derpy.

“Only Fezzik is strong enough to go up our way. He'll have to sail around for hours 'til he finds a harbor,” he said with glee.

Derpy began to climb the rope with a strength that I didn’t realize she had.  She was always so gentle, and I was amazed at how powerful she was.  She would flap her wings every once in a while, but mainly she was grabbing the rope with her mouth, pulling us up, and then holding on with her front and rear hooves.  We were well over halfway up the rope when I looked down.

“He's climbing the rope. And he's gaining on us,” I said.

I looked over at Vizzini as he looked down.  His eyes widened.

“Inconceivable!” he shouted before he hit Derpy in the shoulder, “FASTER!” he demanded.

“I thought I WAS going faster,” she said.

He growled and stared at her.

“YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THIS COLOSSUS, YOU WERE THIS GREAT LEGENDARY THING, AND YET HE GAINS!” he shouted.

“Well, I'm carrying three people, and he's got only himself,” she reasoned to him.

“I do not accept excuses.  I'm just going to have to find myself a new giant, that's all,” he said snidely.

She actually looked heartbroken when he said that.  Normally it would be really hard for me to get upset, but he was pushing my buttons.  Here he was making fun of Derpy, being a big meanie, and all the time there was something that was keeping from telling him that he should try to be nicer, well if he doesn’t mind I mean.

“Don't say that, Vizzini. Please?” she pleaded.

“DID I MAKE IT CLEAR THAT YOUR JOB IS AT STAKE?!” he shouted at her.

At that she climbed harder.  I felt the edge of the cliff scrap across my wings before Derpy climbed over the edge and managed to set us all down.  At that Vizzini ran to the top of the rope and cut it.  I walked to the edge and saw the man in black still on the side of the cliff.

“He's got very good arms,” Derpy said.

“HE DIDN'T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE!” Vizzini shouted.

“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means,” I said, “Sweet Celestia he’s climbing!”

“Whoever he is, he's obviously seen us with the princess and must therefore die. You, carry her. We'll head straight for the Guilder frontier. Catch up when he's dead. If he falls, fine. If not, the sword,” he said.

I looked at him and tried to get it through my head.

“I'm going to duel him left-hoofed,” I said.

“YOU KNOW WHAT A HURRY WE'RE IN!” he shouted.

“Is the only way I can be satisfied. If I use my right, over too quickly,” I replied.

“Oh, have it your way,” Vizzini said.

“You be careful.  People in masks cannot be trusted,” Derpy said.

“I’m waiting!” Vizzini shouted.

Derpy glowered at him before looking back at me.

“Do be careful Fluttershy,” she said.

“I…  I’ll be okay,” I said.

She nodded and carried Lyra as she followed Vizzini.  I watched the little bald meanie leave and for once I never felt so glad to see someone go.  I’ve never known any pony that mean.  He was just so abusive.  I put it out of my mind and looked over the side of the cliff again.

“Hello there!” I shouted, “Slow going?”

“Look, I don't mean to be rude, but this is not as easy as it looks, so I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't distract me,” he said back.

“Sorry,” I replied.

“Thank you,” he said sounding very terse.

“I do not suppose you could-a speed things up?” I asked.

“If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope or a tree branch or find something useful to do,” he replied.

“I could do that. I've got some rope up here, but I do not think you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you,” I replied to him.

“Well, that does put a damper on our relationship,” he said.

“But, I promise I will not kill you until you reach the top,” I said.

“That’s very comforting, but I’m afraid that you’re just going to have to wait,” he said.

“I hate waiting,” I said as I began to walk away, “I could give you my word as a Maredrian.”

“No good. I’ve known too many Maredrians,” he replied.

“So’s there anyway you’ll trust me?” I asked.

“Nothing comes to mind,” he replied.

“I swear, on the soul of my father, Domingo Montoya, you will reach the top alive,” I said.

“Throw me the rope,” he replied.

I quickly uncoiled it and tossed it over to him.  He quickly climbed up the rope and I watched as he began to pull his sword.

“Thank you,” he said.

“W...wait, if you don’t mind, and go ahead and rest up for a bit,” I said.

“Again, thank you,” he replied.

“I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?” I asked as he took his boot off and dumped some rocks.

“Do you always begin conversations like this?” he asked.

“My father was slaughtered by a six fingered man. Was a great sword maker, my father. When the six fingered man appear and request a special sword, my father took the job,” I said as I looked at him and withdrew my sword, “He slave a year before he was done.”

“I’ve never seen its equal,” he replied as I handed it to him.

“The six fingered man returned and demanded it, but at one-tenth his promised price. My father refuse. Without a word, the six fingered man slash him through the heart,” I returned to the sword to its sheath, “I loved my father, so naturally I challenged his murderer to a duel. I fail. Six fingered man leave me alive. But he give me these.”

I pointed to the scars on my muzzle.

“How old were you?” he asked.

“I was eleven years old. When I was-a strong enough, I dedicated my life to the study of fencing, so the next time we meet, I will not fail. I will go up to the six fingered man and say, ‘Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father.  Prepare to die.’,” I said.

“You’ve done nothing but study swordplay?” he asked.

“More a pursuit than a study, lately. You see, I cannot find him. It has been twenty years now and I am starting to lose confidence. I just work for Vizzini to pay the bills. It's not a lot of money in revenge,” I said.

“Well I,” he began rise, “I hope that you find him one day,” he said.

“I suppose that we should begin,” I said, “You seem a decent fellow, I hate to kill you.”

“Thank you, you seem a decent fellow, I hate to die,” he replied.

We both quickly unsheathed our swords and they met with a metallic clang.  I felt the vibrations run down the sword into my left right hoof.  The sword I was using seemed to be made especially for me.  We moved seamlessly through the area.  Each move a part of a dance that was as beautiful as it was deadly.  I loved it, and at the same time I wanted to quiver in fear.  This was so dangerous, so frightening, and I just wanted to find my friends and leave.

We shared a short banter, throwing out compliments at our skill until finally he knocked my sword away from me.  I went to all fours and lowered my head.

“Kill me quickly,” I whimpered.

“I’d rather destroy a beautiful stained glass window than kill an artist like yourself, Fluttershy.  I’m sorry,” he said.

For a moment I wondered what he said before a terrible pain rushed through my skull and everything blacked out.

Derpy’s POV

I watched Vizzini as he looked behind us and his eyes widened.

“Inconceivable!” he shouted.

“What?” I asked.

“Catch up to me quickly!” he demanded.

“What is going on?” he asked.

“I want you to stay behind and finish him your way,” Vizzini said.

“Oh, thank you Vizzini!” I exclaimed, “Wait, what’s my way?”

“Pick up a rock, when the man in black appears and you see his head hit him with it!” he exclaimed.

“My way is not very sporting,” I murmured.

I waited for him to go and when the man in black got closer I tossed the rock barely missing him.

“I didn’t have to miss, but I don’t want to do it like this,” I said.

“What do you propose?” he asked.

“Don?” I asked.

“Derpy…  I’m sorry.  I really am,” he said.

“Don’t be!  Oh Don Lyra is going to be so happy!” I exclaimed as I went to hug him.

He jumped into the hug and then I let him down.

“Vizzini is going to try to kill her!” I exclaimed.

“I know, I’ve watched this movie a thousand times.  We have to wrestle Derpy.  It seems that the movie wants us to follow what happened in it,” he said.

“Oh, okay,” I said.

He moved around and I swiped at him.

“You’re very fast,” I said.

“A good thing too,” he replied.

“Don, why are you wearing a mask?” I asked’ “Did you get burned or something?”

“Oh no, it's just they're terribly comfortable. I think everyone'll be wearing them in the future,” he replied.

I swiped at him and he jumped onto my back.  I tried to knock him off, but he held on. I could feel my breathing getting shallower, my eyes grew heavy, and soon everything turned black on me.

Don’s POV

I didn’t want to do that to either Fluttershy or Derpy.  They were both my friends, but it seemed like the film really wanted everything to proceed just like it normally did.  I had learned that the hard way when I tried to stop the large pirate ship from overtaking the Bristol Packet.  I hadn’t ever seen what really happened in that time, but I knew that Westley had become an assistant to the Dread Pirate Roberts.

From that point on I followed the movie as close as possible.  I did what Westley had said he had done, and eventually I was filled in about how he wasn’t the first Dread Pirate Roberts.  From there I took over the ship, and I went in search of Lyra.  I missed her so much.  I hadn’t realized how much until I was forced to do without her.  All of that lead me to this instant, and I was narrowing in on Vizzini.  I could see him sitting beside Lyra with a blade against her throat.  Although I knew he was just part of the movie my blood boiled as I watched him.

“So it is down to you, and it is down to me,” he said as I pressed forward, “If you wish her dead, by all means, keep moving forward.”

“Please, let me explain…” I began

“There is nothing to explain.  You are trying to kidnap what I have rightfully stolen,” he retorted.

“Perhaps an arrangement can be made,” I said.

“There will be no arrangement, and you are killing her,” he said pressing the dagger closer and actually drawing blood.

I stopped and kept myself from getting more upset.  I needed to be strong at the moment.

“Well, if here is no arrangement then we are at an impasse,” I said.

“I’m afraid so.  I can’t compete with you physically and you’re no match for my brains,” he replied.

“You’re that smart?” I asked him.

I knew the next words out of his mouth.  It was so easy to follow the scene.  Although he was just a character I had to remind myself that Vizzini was written to be a very clever man.  So appealing to a battle of the wits was the best thing to do.  Within seconds he agreed and so began the great Iocane powder scene.  I listened to him go through the entire list.  Pushing back and forth until he tried the oldest trick in the book.  I looked away, more caused by the movie forcing me to than actually wanting to, and then turned back to watch him wave it off.  We both drank, he laughed, and then he fell over.  I quickly lifted Lyra and removed the blindfold.

From having watched the movie I knew that Humperdinck would be following us.  I needed to get her away from him, away from all of this and secretly I wanted to be able to just take her back home.  Still we reached the place where I was supposed to say some very unwelcomed things.

“I know who you are!” she shouted.

I felt her eyes burning into me.

“You are the Dread Pirate Roberts, and you killed my one true love,” she said.

“It’s likely.  I kill quite a few people,” I replied.

“Don’t trivialize my pain!” she exclaimed.

“Life is pain princess,” I said as I drew her up to me, “And anypony telling you different is trying to sell you something.”

She looked at me and her eyes widened.

“I do remember your farm boy though.  He didn’t try to beg or barter his way to freedom.  No, he simply asked ‘Please, please don’t kill me’.  It was the please that caught my attention.  I asked him what was so important to live for, and he replied, ‘True love’.  He told me of a beautiful creature, so faithful, true, and wonderful that he needed to go back to.  I believe that I did your Westley a service by killing him.  He didn’t have to live to see the wretch his true love had become,” I said.

She growled and looked at me with utter hatrid.

“And what is it that I’ve become?” she asked.

“Faithfulness he talked of, Madame, your enduring faithfulness. Now tell me truly, when you found out he was gone, did you get engaged to your prince at the same hour, or did you wait a whole week out of respect for the dead?” I asked.

“You mocked me once never do it again!  I died that day and you can die too for all I care!” she shouted as she shoved me.

I yelled As you wish to her as I rolled down the hill, and once I landed on the bottom I felt her land on top of me.  She gathered me up into her forelegs and kissed me deeply.

“DON!” she exclaimed happily.

“I’ve missed you too Lyra.  I’ve missed you so much,” I said as we pulled back.

“Humperdinck… Oh, he’s coming!” she said.

“Quick, we’ll go in there,” I said.

“The fire swamp?!  But it’s filled with dangers!  I mean it’s exactly like the Everfree forest!” she exclaimed.

“And that’s all the more reason Humperdinck won’t follow us,” I said.

She nodded.  The both of us got up and headed into the forest.  Again it was just like the movie.  We ended up avoiding the flames, crawling out of the lightening sand, and finally facing down the Rodents of Unusual size.  Once through it we managed to make to the clearing.  This was the part I was afraid of.  I knew what was coming, and I hated it.  I hated it because I had just gotten back with Lyra.

“Halt!” a royal voice called out.

I looked up at Humperdinck and drew my sword.

“You’ve survived the fire swamp which means you are either very brave or very stupid.  I am hoping that you are brave because only a stupid man would attempt to fight a prince while he has his guards.  Then again, if you are stupid it will provide me with some much needed entertainment,” he said.

“Speaking of the fire swamp it wouldn’t be hard to go back into there.  We know where everything is and together we could live quite a while,” I replied.

“Wait, wait…  If I come with you willingly, if I agree to go back with you and become your bride will you spare him and return him to his ship?” Lyra asked.

“No!” I shouted.

“Of course, though it is an odd request,” he said.

“My love, perhaps this is just not our time,” she said to me.

“Count Rugen, Return him to his ship,” Humperdinck said.

I watched as he rode off with Lyra and the count neared me.

“Come sir, your ship is waiting,” he said.

“We’re not returning to the ship,” I said.

“No, we are not,” he said as he nodded.

Pain filled me, and I found blackness.

When I awoke again I was inside of a dark room.  An albino was cleaning my wounds.

“Where am I?” I asked.

“In the pit of despair.  Don’t even try to es…,” he coughed, “Don’t even think to try to escape.  There’s only one entrance in here and only Count Rugen and I know it.”

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Tending to your wounds.  The count wants you healthy before we begin,” he said.

“So torture huh?  Well, I can take that,” I said.

“No, no you can’t.  No one can withstand the machine,” he said.

I knew what he was talking about.  It didn’t take long for Rugen to appear, and even less time for me to be strapped into the machine.  There are things I’d had happen to me that were unpleasant.  Burned, cut, broken a bone or two, but nothing, and I mean nothing, compared to the machine.  Westley screamed for a damned good reason.  It felt worse than horrible to have a year’s worth of life sucked out of me.  The whimper that I had seen so many years ago were still there.  I whimpered and inside I wanted to crawl off and die.  I wanted to because I knew what was coming.

I knew that no matter what happened at this point I was going to be facing something so much worse.  For an entire week I was treated, fed, made healthy, and all for the next bump which was going to be five years.  Instead Humperdinck ran down the stairs like a mad man.

“You may have truly loved each other.  She may truly love you.  Which means in all of history there will be no one that will suffer as much as you will,” he said.

I watched in horror as he shot the control up to fifty years and pain, pure bright, surging pain went through me and I screamed out as the machine sucked those years from me.

Derpy’s POV

I listened to my new boss as he ordered me to get rid of a single pony refusing to leave.  I walked to the house and found Fluttershy.  She was leaning against a house, actually the same house we had met Vizzini at.

“I am waiting for Vizzini.  He said to wait here when the job was done, and so I am waiting here!” she screamed at the men trying to drive her away.

“Go on, take care of her,” my new boss said.

I looked at him, and quickly bopped him on the head.  He fell over and I turned toward Fluttershy.

“Fluttershy,” I said.

“Derpy?” she asked.

“It is me.  Come, let us take care  of you,” I said.

I told her about the six fingered man, Count Rugen, and she promptly passed out in a bowl of food.

For the next hour I set about helping her sober up until finally she shook her mane and stepped back.

“No more, please no more,” she said, “This count where is he?”

“In the castle,” I said, “But it is heavily guarded.  There is at least thirty men.”

“How many could you handle?” she asked.

“Ten armed,” I said.

“Ten, no… that leaves too many.  I could never hope to best twenty armed men in combat.  We need Vizzini,” she said.

“But Vizzini is dead,” I said.

“No… not Vizzini, the man in black, Don, we need Don!” she exclaimed.

“He was captured by the Count and Humperdinck.  I’m not sure where they have taken him,” I said.

“Do not worry my friend.  We will worry about the small details when we need to!” she shouted.

I followed her out into the forest where we saw an albino.  We followed him for a bit until we came near a few trees.  She asked me to jog his memory, but I ended up knocking him out.  I watched as she asked her father to guide her sword and after a few seconds we found the entrance hidden inside of a tree.  We walked down to find Don lying on a table.

“He’s dead,” she said stepping back.

“What do we do?” I asked.

“How much money do you have?” she asked me.

“A little, why?” I asked.

“Let us hope it is enough to buy a miracle,” she replied, “Get his body and follow me.”

I did like she asked and the two of us headed out toward a small home.  Once there she knocked on the door and it opened to reveal Discord.  He quickly picked her up into a hug.

“This has been terrible!  I can’t perform any magic!” he exclaimed.

“Discord we need some help, Don, he’s…” she started.

He touched Don and shook his head.

“Not dead, just mostly dead.  Set him down and let me see what I have to work with,” he said.

I watched as he quickly set upon getting a pair of bellows.  He pumped some air into Don’s chest and then looked at him.

“So, what’s so important that you need to live?” he asked him.

“True love,” Don moaned through his nearly closed lips.

“True love is a grand thing, a very noble cause, but he didn’t say that.  Nope, he said to Blave, which means to bluff,” Discord said.

“Stop right there!  You know he said True love!” Carrot Top said as she came around from the corner.

“Shut up witch!” he demanded.

“I’m not a Witch!”  she demanded.

“Discord, please… Humperdinck has Lyra, and you’re our only hope,” Fluttershy said.

“Wait, if I do this Humperdinck suffers and we go home right?” he asked.

“Yes, humiliation and then home,” Fluttershy said.

“Now that’s a noble cause!” he exclaimed.

I watched as he mixed up the miracle and then handed it to us.

“You need to wait fifteen minutes before giving that to him for it to have full potency,” Discord said.

I found a cloak and Discord looked at it and then at me.

“If you want it take it with you,” he said.

I nodded and picked up Don.  I carried him toward the wall and we stopped.

“That is more than thirty men,” Fluttershy said.

“Yes, but we have him,” I said nudging Don.

“Quick, give him the pill,” she said.

“Has it been fifteen minutes?” I asked.

“It doesn’t matter, we don’t have the time to wait,” she said.

We opened his mouth, pushed the pill in and forced him to swallow it.  A moment later his eyes opened and he looked at us confused.

“Why can’t I move my arms and legs?” he asked.

“You’ve been mostly dead for most of the day,” I said.

Both Don and Fluttershy began talking about how to get into the castle and I pointed out that he was moving his finger, his head, and I asked him if he was happy about it.  For a moment he got snippy, but then we told him about the wheelbarrow.  I listened as he told us the plan and after a few minutes I was standing on the wheelbarrow, on my hind legs, and stretching out my front hooves.

“I am the Dread Pirate Roberts!  There will be no mercy, no one will survive, I have come for all of your souls!” I shouted.

It felt so good to watch them all scatter.  I thought about dressing up like this on Nightmare Night.

Fluttershy’s POV

It was so good to see everything coming around.  We got into the castle, and I knew that before long we could go home.  I wanted to go home.  I needed to check on Angel Bunny, and I wanted to make sure that everything was okay with all of my other animal friends.  I had simply been gone far too long to not get back there with them.

Once we were inside we began walking down a hall and I saw a man standing away from me.  On one hand he had six fingers and the memory of my father, of my real father burned in my mind.  Even though I knew that my daddy was still alive I saw the man before me brutally murder him.

“Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die,” I said.

He sent his guards toward me, but in an instant I had them all on the ground and faced him.  He drew his sword, prepared to face me, and ran off.  I flapped my wings, lifting off of the ground and chased after him.  I was nearly on him when he slammed a door shut and locked it.

“DERPY!  HELP ME!”  I shouted.

“But I can’t leave Don alone!” she shouted back.

“PLEASE!  HE’S GOING TO GET AWAY!” I screamed.

I heard her nearing me and when she got to the door she turned around and mule kicked it off of its hinges.

“Go after him,” she said.

I nodded and faster than I’ve ever flown before I chased after him.  I rounded a corner and found a dagger in my stomach.  I fell against the wall and slid down it.

“Forgive me father, I have failed you,” I whimpered.

I slowly made my way to my hind legs and pulled the dagger out.  I held the sword in my right hoof’ while  my left foreleg was holding the wound I had received from the Count.  I felt so much pain rushing through me.  My eyes focused on him as I tried to stand.

"You must be that little Spanish brat I taught a lesson to all those years ago. You've been chasing me your whole life only to fail now? I think that's about the worst thing I've ever heard," he said, "How Marvelous."

I struggled to stand up as he watched me.  I fell back against the wall and he clicked his tongue.

"You've seemed to develop an unhealthy sense of vengeance.  It's going to get you into trouble," he said as he thrust his sword forward.  I blocked it causing it to hit my right foreleg.

He thrust forward again and Ireblocked it causing it to hit my left.  Finally, I stood to my hind legs and looked at him.  My eyes hardening at him.

"Hello My Name Is Inigo Montoya.  You killed my father.  Prepare to die," I whispered.

"Excuse me, what was that?" he asked.

I thrust forward, visions of my father, of my real father being viciously killed by the creature in front of me flashed through my head.  I cried out in anguish and struck his sword with an unknown skill.  He blocked it and I looked at him, fixing the stare upon him.

"Hello My Name Is Inigo Montoya!  You killed my father!  Prepare to die!" I shouted.

He blocked me sword as I floated into the air and began fighting him with earnest.

Each swipe I could see my father, having worked on a beautiful sword, being killed, his work stripped from him as the count admired it.  I could see the same count giving me two scars on my face as a reminder.

“HELLO MY NAME IS INIGO MONTOYA! YOU KILLED MY FATHER!  PREPARE TO DIE!" I screamed.

"Stop saying that!" he shouted back at her.

I batted his sword away, and gave him a cut in the same place he had given me so long ago.

"Offer me money," I said.

"Yes!" he exclaimed.

I slashed his other cheek.

"Power, too, promise me that," I said.

"All that I have and more. Please," he begged.

"Offer me everything I ask for," I said.

"Anything you want," Count Rugen said before knocking my sword away.

He lunged forward, but I caught his arm and drove my own sword forward.

"I want my father back, you son of a bitch, if you don't mind," I whispered as I pushed the sword further into his stomach.

Don’s POV

There was mixture of joy and pain as Lyra realized that I was still alive.  She ran toward me, wrapped me into her forelegs and cried deeply against my shoulder.  I knew the scene we were in, and I said it word by word.  Each moment I watched as Humperdinck came in, exclaimed how he would win, and then decide to drop his sword when I explained what would happen to him.  Once that was threw it was fairly easy.  We jumped out of the window, Derpy caught us, and then the same golden light that had surrounded us before did so once again.

We all appeared back inside of the bar and I looked around.  For some reason everything looked the same.  I looked at the television and noticed that the credits were rolling on.  Everypony else seemed to be looking around at the same time.  Discord snapped his claws and a huge bucket of ice cream appeared.

“Oh I have never been so happy to be back home.  If that is what Earth is like they can have it,” he said.

“We’ve only been gone a little over an hour,” I said.

“I want to go home and snuggle Dinky until we both go to sleep,” Derpy said.

“I think that I want to just watch a movie next time,” Carrot Top said.

“I’m ready to go home too,” Fluttershy said.

With that both she and Discord disappeared.  I watched as our other two friends left and then I turned to Lyra.  She walked toward me, stood on her hind legs, and kissed me deeply.

“I want you to take me upstairs, and then I want you to rut the living Tartarus out of me.  It might have only been an hour, but it felt like years, and I need you badly,” she said.

I nodded, lifted her into my arms, and we walked up stairs.  Both of us had one thought on our minds.  That thought carried over into action.  Neither of us really wanted any floor play, but instead we wanted to gorge on each other.  I did as she asked, and she did as I hoped for.  When it was over she lay beside me, sweating just as I was.

“Don, I love you,” she said.

“I love you too Lyra,” I said.

“I… Don, I want to spend my life with you.  I mean it.  I…  I want to marry you,” she said.

“Are you proposing?” I asked.

She nodded, “Being in there made me realize how lucky I am, and I don’t want to even chance losing you.  I want to be together forever, and that means being mare enough to admit that I want a ceremony that binds us together.”

“I’m already bound to you, but if you want us to get married that would be fine.  So, do you want a big one, or just go to Las Pegasus?” I asked.

She hit my arm and shook her head.

“Something here, but not overly big would be fine with me.  I just want to have our friends here for it.  Maybe you can even invite your friend from Earth to it,” she said.

“He might come.  Hell, I’m sure that Pinkie might drag him here.  Especially if she gets to plan the reception,” I said.

“A Pinkie Pie reception?  Are you sure you understand what not too big is?” she asked.

Bark at the Moon

Be Careful what you wish for

Chapter 10 – Mini Chapter –  ‘Bark at the Moon’

Pain.  Pure bright burning pain ripped through me.  My eyes opened to see a hospital room, medical equipment, and a very sleep deprived Lyra sitting next to my bed.  I tried to sit up, but I didn’t make it very far before a gasp escaped me.

“Don! It’s okay, just relax,” Lyra said.

“What happened?” I asked.

“You don’t remember?  You saved Sweetie and Button,” she said.

The memory began to drift back into my hazy mind.  I remembered being near the Everfree Forest with Lyra, and hearing two adolescent foals screaming for help.  Without thinking about it I had ran in and saw Sweetie Belle and Button Mash running from Timber Wolves.  I hadn’t even thought about what I was doing before I grabbed a fallen branch and swung it with all of  my might.

It had connected with the first Timber Wolf, and when it did the magical creature simply broke into a thousand pieces.  The other three stayed where they were observing the creature that had stood its ground.  I glanced behind me to see both Button and Sweetie standing there.

“Get on out of here!” I demanded.

They nodded and a moment later I was left with three snarling wooden wolves.  For a moment I wondered if they would simply content to back off when one of them lurched forward.  I readied my branch again and the damned wolf ducked under my swing.  It instead sunk it’s teeth into the flesh of my arm.

There was nothing manly about my scream.  I didn’t sound like Rambo when he pulled out an arrow and then cauterized the wound with gun powder.  Nope, I sounded like a kid that has just broken his arm, and then got dog bit for his trouble.  I wrenched my arm away from the wolf only to find deep cuts in it.

“DON!” Lyra screamed as she ran toward where I was.

“LYRA GET OUT OF HERE!” I screamed.

The wolves began moving toward me, and then one of them exploded seemingly for no reason.  The last two seemed to focus between the two of us and one of them lowered its head toward Lyra giving a deadly growl in her direction.  I watched her horn glow a brilliant mint green for a moment before the wolf was knocked back away from her and slammed into a tree.

I also watched the other wolf jumped toward her from her blind side.  I jumped on the things back and drove it to the ground.  It rolled around with me on the ground until it knocked me off and I felt it clamp down on my shoulder.  I screamed again as it shook me hard tearing away skin and some of the muscle there.  The wolf exploded and I felt another stab of pain.

I looked to see Lyra running over to me and then she stopped.  There was another deep growl and I turned my head to see a large wolf forming.  At that time there was an explosion and the large wolf ran off into the woods.  I looked to see Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Button, and Big Macintosh.

“What was that?” I asked as Big Mac helped me up into a wagon he had brought.

“That was some exploding powder that Zecora had taught me how ta make.  She said Ah aught ta use it when Ah check on her hut fer her,” Applebloom said.

I heard a voice and looked around the room I was in again.  The memory of my first encounter with the Timber Wolves wasn’t the most pleasant thing I’ve ever experienced.  I felt Lyra touch my arm with her hoof.

“I’m so glad that you’re okay,” she said before she started crying.

I forced myself up and pulled her into a hug.  My muscles screamed, and my skin felt tight in several places.  She hugged me back tightly and then she let me lay back down.

“I was afraid that we might lose you.  The Doctor had to get blood for a transfusion from Canterlot, and he was worried that you might not wake up,” she said.

“Lyra, I’ve got too many reasons to wake up,” I said, “How long does the doctor want me in here?”

“He said that you need to heal up a while before they let you out.  I think that Nurse Redheart said you would be here for a good month before they let you out,” she said.

“Oh man…  I hope that I still have a job,” I said.

“Don’t worry the entire town knows what you did.  Mr. Rich said that when you’re able to come back to work you’ll have a job, and Love Tap has offered to bring us home cooked meals while you’re in here,” she said.

The thought of not having to worry about eating hospital food brought a slight smile to my face.

“You’ve got to get to feeling better pretty soon.  We’ve got a wedding to plan,” she said with a sniffle.

I looked at her and motioned for her to lean down.  She did and I kissed her.  She returned it and then nuzzled my neck.

Friends, Holidays, and Misunderstandings

Be Careful what you wish for

Chapter 11 –  ‘Friends, Holidays, and Misunderstandings’

I had never been so thankful for home cooked meals in my life.  Everyday Love Tap, Button, and Chip brought in something for Lyra and me.  They would set up and the five of us would eat Dinner together.  Even with me saving Button Mash and Sweetie Belle I was starting to feel like I was a mooch.  Still, without fail I watched as the door opened, and an all too familiar family walked into the room.

Love Tap walked toward the dresser and Lyra quickly levitated everything off of her back onto the dresser itself.  I smelled fresh garlic bread, spaghetti – which was vegetarian a personal life choice of Love Tap’s, and some kind of freshly cut fruit.  I heard the Pegasus who was finally moved into the room with me whimper with displeasure.  I looked over to recognize Cloud Chaser.

“Man, that smells so good…  They left me some peas, a minced haypatty, and I think this is supposed to be mashed potatoes,” he said.

I looked at his meal and shuddered.  That was the kind of thing I didn’t want to try to choke down.  Nurse Redheart had told me that for the most part small hospitals like the Ponyville Hospital didn’t make too much alterations for gryphons or humans when it came to meals.  I had tried hay once, I didn’t like it, and I hated to think that the bulk of my meal would be that.

“Do we have enough to share?” I asked.

Love Tap nodded and walked over to Cloud’s tray.  She promptly dumped the contents into the garbage, and then put him a piece of Garlic bread, some spaghetti – with vegetarian meatballs, and fresh fruit salad on his tray.  He wasted no time digging into the food.  I was still getting used to seeing the pegasi using their wings to shovel food into their mouths when they were really hungry.

I smiled and waited for everypony else to get their plates before I started to eat.  Once again I was in pure bliss.  The food was amazing.  I didn’t know how Love Tap constantly managed to cook such amazing food, but it was obvious that everyone was enjoying it.  A moment later a loud belch echoed through the room and Lyra looked at Cloud Catcher who arched an eyebrow.

“Sorry, but in Pegasus circles I just complimented your cooking,” he said to Love.

“Thank you,” she said.

“It is fantastic,” Lyra said.

Love smiled and nodded.  She brought a hoof up with a napkin and quickly wiped off Button’s muzzle.

“Thank you so much for bringing this,” I said.

“Believe me it’s no trouble.  It’s the least I could do.  You saved my little Button,” she said happily.

“It was sooo cooool!  You were just like Sido the Brave as he faced the Cohorts of Neighbolia!  Except that you didn’t have a sword, but it was amazing how you knocked that Timber Wolf into a baillion pieces!” Button exclaimed.

“I’m just glad that I was able to make sure that you and Sweetie Belle were safe.  What were you two doing out there anyway?” I asked.

He nervously shuffled his front hooves around for a second before he looked back up at me.

“Well, Sweetie Belle wanted to go check on Zecora’s hut, and she asked that I come with her, and we got there…” he stopped and looked toward his mother.

“Actually Button I haven’t heard anything past that either.  I know you said that you were going to go help Sweetie Belle, but that was really early morning.  Don didn’t find the two of you until late afternoon,” she said studying him.

“Ummmm…  Nothing was going on,” he said.

“Button,” she said as she narrowed her eyes at him.

I watched as the poor little brown colt began to sweat before breaking down and covering his face with his forehooves.

“We got to Zecora’s hut and made oooouuuuuutttttttt!” he whined.

I watched as Chip covered his mouth, and I heard a snicker from Cloud, then Lyra began to snicker, and before long the entire room began to burst into laughter.  Even Love Tap laughed long and hard at the situation.  After a few minutes all of us began to quiet down and finally Love Tap touched Button’s foreleg.

“Button Sweetie,” she said.

“Yeah Mom?” he asked.

“You’re grounded,” she said.

“Buu…” he started before she narrowed her eyes at him again, “Okay Mom.”

The rest of the meal was far more than enjoyable.  Conversation held by good friends, and good spirits filled the small room.  I was more than happy to have the food, and Love had said that she didn’t mind making the meals for me.  She ended up giving Cloud Catcher another tray of spaghetti before she left.  I watched as he noisily ate the pasta and vegetarian meatballs.  He finished his second plate, leaned back, rubbed his belly and then moved slightly sideways before letting loose another tremendous belch.  The sound of it was deafening, and I could swear that it caused the windows to vibrate in the room.  I shook my head and then looked back at Lyra who wasn’t as put off as I thought she would be.  Then again she did run a bar, and I knew she had dealt with all manners of ponies in it before.

“So, you’re the guy that broke up a Timber Wolf lunch huh?” Cloud asked.

I looked at the dark Pegasus as he leaned into the bed.

“Yeah, it wasn’t nearly as much fun as I thought it would be,” I replied.

“I guess it wouldn’t be.  From what I’ve heard in town and in the hospital you’ve gotten something of a reputation going on now,” he said.

“Like what?” I asked.

“That you’re here to stay as a citizen.  Most everypony believed it was only a matter of time before you went off and did something stupid enough for Princess Celestia to ask you to please leave Equestria.  Being completely honest I kind of thought the same thing.  I mean we’ve had at least six different humans try to settle in here, and none of them really seemed to last more than eight months before either going back through the gate or being asked to leave,” he said.

I leaned back in the bed and thought about that.  It meant whoever had built the cabin we saw near the lake was gone.  They had been either asked to leave Equestria, or they returned to Earth.  I didn’t just want to last more than eight months.  I wanted to live here for the rest of my life right here with Lyra.  I felt her lay a hoof on my arm and I looked up at her.

“I have no intention of ever leaving,” I said.

Cloud gave a small laugh before I heard him wince in pain.  I looked toward him and finally took in that his right wing was bandaged up.

“What happened?” I asked.

“I’ve been trying to help make sure that the uncontrolled weather from the Everfree doesn’t cross over into Ponyville.  It’s not usually difficult, but a couple of days ago a large storm began to move this way.  We had to divert every Pegasus to keeping it under control.  The clouds were so thick that it was hard to do anything except move them, and then I slipped through while I was pushing one,” he said.

“So the storm hurt your wing?” I asked.

“Actually…  One of the tallest trees in the Everfree hurt my wing.  I slipped through the storm, rammed into a tree, and fell down every branch.  They said I was lucky and only gave my wing a slight sprain, but it feels broken to me,” he replied.

“Sounds like it was pretty difficult,” I said.

“It was.  There’s only three Pegasi that fly high enough to monitor all of the weather.  Rainbow Dash is one, and she’s on Earth.  Lightning Dust, who’s filling in for her, is another, and the last one is Thunderlane.  Thunderlane’s on vacation, and Dust…  Well…  She’s a little too showy.  She’s caused several accidents so far,” he said.

“It sounds like you guys really need Rainbow Dash back,” I replied.

“Yeah, or we could use Thunderlane back.  Rainbow Dash showboated, a lot, but nothing like Dust has been.  Thunder is at least smart enough to make sure that some of our clouds don’t go over into the Everfree.  That happens they turn into massive storms, and we get what we had the other day.  Rainbow and Thunder would have seen that storm coming from a mile away and made sure that we kept it from happening,” Cloud griped.

“Have you talked to Lightning about it?” I asked.

“Dude, do I look like the kind of stallion that would tell his marefriend that she’s being stupid?” he asked.

“Wait a second… You’re dating her?” I asked.

“Well, yeah.  We’ve been dating for a couple of months, but what I said about her actions as Weather Captain stands.  She’s got the skill, but she’s just too hung up on showing off,” he said.

“Why don’t you just talk to her?” Lyra asked.

He looked at her like she had grown a second head.  He then looked at me to see if I thought that Lyra was joking, and when it was obvious that I wasn’t reacting the way he thought that I should be he shook his head.

“I don’t know how she would take it, and the last thing I want to do is hurt her feelings. For all of her showing off Lightning is pretty sensitive about things,” he said.

She looked at him and then thought about how he could present it to her.  After a moment nothing really came to mind and she shook her head.

“Why don’t you make a suggestion then?  I mean just suggest that in order to keep the wild storms down that she put a couple of you guys on going over the Everfree every couple of days,” I suggested.

He looked at me and then shook his head.

“Where did you come up with that?” he asked.

“What?  I mean isn’t that Rainbow Dash used to do right?” I asked.

He nodded and then thought about it for a second.

“You’re a brony huh?” he asked.

I nodded.

He grinned and looked up at the ceiling.

“That makes sense.  Yeah, Rainbow Dash used to have a few of us fly over the Everfree every couple of days.  She said that it was easier than trying to deal with the storms.  I don’t mind making the suggestion, but I’m not sure how to present it to her,” he said.

“You said she likes to showboat right?  Why not tell her that this is a way she can one-up Rainbow?  It would make sense that she would be fine with showing up Dash while she took care of the Weather system here,” Lyra said.

He grinned.  His eyes then widened a little bit.

“Oh man… if she thinks that it’s a chance to one-up Dash she might want to get a few more ideas.  Do you mind if I come and talk to you guys every so often?  I have a feeling that I’m going to need to get a few more ideas before everything is said and done.  You wouldn’t mind helping another stallion out right?” Cloud asked.

“Sure, I don’t mind,” I said.

I didn’t mind, and besides if it kept the weather from having a few wild storms from hitting the town then that was even better.

Time passed awkwardly during my stay in the hospital.  Cloud’s first visitor, besides Love Tap and her family, was Lightning Dust.  I was a little surprised to see my suggestion to him go over so well.  She instantly thought it was an amazing idea.  Well, actually she did after she realized that she would possibly be one upping Dash.  After that she kept coming back to visit every day, for a few minutes or a couple of hours.  And she did that right up until Cloud was allowed to leave the hospital.

I had three days left, and though I had tried to send Lyra home to get some rest she had ended up staying here, and curling up beside me.  It was actually quite sweet, although she seemed to be feeling a little warmer than normal.  I tried to think of a reason she might be warmer, but nothing was really coming to mind.

“My, aren’t the two of you simply a picture of the happy couple,” a voice said from within the room.

I looked around and didn’t notice anyone.

“Discord?” I asked.

Discord flashed into existence and bowed slightly.  He placed his elbows on the foot of my hospital bed and looked up at me.

“I’ve got a question, and I thought who would be better to answer than my bestest guy pal who has a marefriend,” he said.

“Okay, so what’s the question?” I asked.

“Well, actually I wanted to know what I should do for Fluttershy.  Hearts and Hooves day is coming up, and this is the first time I’ve ever been close enough with anyone to want to celebrate it.  What should I do for her?” he asked.

The name of the holiday brought the old episode to my mind.  It had been one of my favorites, and I remembered that the CMCs had used a love poison on Big Mac and Cheerilee.  Still, I wondered how much different the actual events of Heart and Hooves day was from the cartoon.  I took an extra minute and shrugged my shoulders.

“Well, I’m not sure about Heart and Hooves Day, but I know on Valentine’s Day guys usually get their girlfriends flowers, take them out a nice meal, or do something really nice and romantic for them.  Wait…  Are you and Fluttershy dating?” I asked.

He tapped his claw and paw together before looking around the room.

“Sort of,” he replied.

I knew that he thought of Fluttershy as a friend, but I didn’t realize that it was deeper than that.  To be honest I always figured that when it came down to it Discord would stay friends, but try to distance himself somewhat from the ponies that lived around him.  Everything I knew about him said that he was immortal.  I had to believe that Fluttershy and the rest of the Elements, with the exception of Twilight, are mortal.

“Just be nice to her.  She’s a nice mare, and she deserves being treated like one.  Don’t take her granted, and do something for her that she’ll really like, and if you really care for her then be ready to do whatever she wants on Hearts and Hooves Day,” Lyra said without opening her eyes.

He grinned and then snapped his claws together.  A moment later he was gone.  Lyra snugged close to me and kissed my ear.  I felt her gently nibble on it.

“I’m so glad that you’re not going to have to spend Hearts and Hooves Day cooped up in the hospital,” she whispered.

“What is it like?  This is going to be my first Hearts and Hooves day.  I know what Valentine’s Day is like, but is it similar?” I asked.

I felt her shuffle, her eyes opened slightly, and I looked at her as she smiled.

“It’s one of the most amazing holidays ever created.  You get to feel so special because your special somepony is doing everything to make you feel good, and it’s also the day that if you don’t have a special somepony you can find one.  It’s amazingly easy to do,” she said.

I held Lyra close, and wondered what was going to be in store for me.  The next three days came and went, Lyra finally went home on the day I was going to be released, but she did so only to get me a fresh set of clothes, and to use our bathtub.  When she came back she looked a little more refreshed.  She passed my clothes to me in a magical grip and I quickly dressed.  As I walked near her I couldn’t help but feel the heat radiating off of her.

I walked outside to see Nurse Red Heart squirming in her chair.  She seemed to be fidgeting quite a bit before she noticed me, settled down, and passed me some discharge paperwork.  I filled it out and walked out with Lyra.  It was at that moment I noticed a huge change in Ponyville. There were decorations up, but at the same time some of the stallions looked, nervous.  There was actually a few of them walking together, and it looked like they were watching each other’s backs.

“What is going on?” I asked.

“Heart and Hooves Day is tomorrow…  I’m so glad that I’ve got you.  I know that you’re going to take good care of me,” Lyra purred.

The weirdness of Ponyville just seemed to elope with the weirdness of the Twilight Zone.  I walked past a few adolescent mares and noticed their eyes following me.  I was more or less accepted into the community, but the way they looked seemed predatory more than anything else.  I tried to shake it off, but a few more stares from some older mares made me wonder exactly what in the holy hell happened on Heart and Hooves day.

I stopped on our way back home and looked at the market place.  The Apple Family Cart was there, but Big Mac looked almost as nervous as the stallions we passed earlier.  I felt Lyra’s fore legs wrap around my arm as she stood on her hindlegs and nuzzled against my shoulder.  It felt amazingly good.  I wasn’t really weirded out by it; after all, she had been this affectionate in public before.  Still, this felt different.  She was really being affectionate with me while we were around the other mares in the market.  It felt almost like she was marking her territory.  I walked toward Roseluck’s flower cart when I felt Lyra pull on me.

“Don, what are you doing?” she asked.

I looked at her and saw worry flitter across her face.  She honestly seemed distressed about me walking over to Roseluck’s cart.  I gently rubbed her ears causing a soft moan to escape her.

“I just want to get you some flowers.  I thought about doing it tomorrow, but I’m not sure if anything will be open,” I replied.

She smiled a soft smile and nodded.  I approached the cart and asked for a mixture of daisies and carnations.  I wanted to get Lyra a dozen roses, but she had told me before that she really didn’t much care for them, and one of the few things the show had been right about was that they did eat flowers.  Roseluck gathered the flowers together, handed them to me and then her hoof lingered a little on my hand.  I heard a light growl and she quickly pulled it back.  I turned to see Lyra looking hard at her.

“I’m sorry Lye, but…  I just don’t have a special somepony this year…  Do… Do you think that you could honor the past tomorrow?” Roseluck asked.

“There’s several stallions roaming around, and you should be able to find somepony.  I’m not a traditionalist Roseluck.  I’m sorry, but I’ve never been one, and besides, this is his first Hearts and Hooves Day.  I want it to be special for him,” she said looking up at me.

“Oh, I understand…” Roseluck said looking dejected.

“Wait, honor the past?”  I asked before Lyra began pulling me away from the stand.

We walked, hurriedly, toward the bar.  Once there Lyra shut the door, bolted it, and put up the sign indicating that the bar would be closed.  She snorted and looked at me.  There was a near crazed look in her eye that was teetering on the edge of creeping me smooth the fuck out, and I was wondering exactly what it was that was going through the head of my marefriend.

“Lyra, what is going on exactly?” I asked.

“Don, Tomorrow kicks off Hearts and Hooves Day!” she exclaimed.

“Okay, it’s a cute little holiday that you spend with your special somepony, I get that, but what is going on?” I asked.

She walked over and I felt magic grip my hand, and before I could even argue that same magic dragged my hand toward her tail.  She looked at me her eyes still somewhat crazed, slightly glossy, and obviously lost to the moment.

“Heat, we’re all going into heat!” she exclaimed.

The realization hit me hard.  Ponyville wasn’t a huge town.  There were a few thousand ponies and a few gryphons that lived here.  While the show, and most of the fan fictions, weren’t right about there being roughly three times as many mares as there was stallions there was still several mares.  The stallions that weren’t in committed relationships knew what was going on.  I realized what was going on.

“The honoring the past…  What is it exactly?” I asked.

She looked at the ground.  I knew she wasn’t exactly sure how to answer it.  I had a feeling.  There had been several fan fictions that dealt with this.  Sure, there had been a number of times that the fan fictions had been wrong, but it seemed like they might be getting it right this time.

“It’s herding.  We don’t really do it anymore.  I mean, there’s really not a reason to, and there really wasn’t a reason to then either.  Sometimes if a mare can’t find a special somepony she’ll ask someone who has one if they’ll honor the past.  It’s because they need relief, but I don’t want to do that Don,” she said.

“I don’t either.  Wow, so… What’s going to happen?” I asked.

*Shhpop!*

I looked at her as the wet sound echoed through the room.  She walked toward me, her horn lightly glowing.  She stood on her hind legs and kissed me deeply.  I felt her tongue invade my mouth and she began to battle my own tongue.  I was barely out of the hospital and I had a feeling that the actions that I was going to see tonight could lead me to being right back in there.

I broke the kiss and looked at her.  I knew what was going on, and I knew what was happening.  I felt myself being pulled toward the bedroom upstairs, and I followed.  Once we were there the door slammed shut on its own, and I felt something gripping me inside of my jeans.  The magical appendage stroked me several times before I began removing my clothes.

Lyra laid down on the bed, her tail moved out of the way, her head on the mattress, and her ass sticking up in the air.  She didn’t want foreplay, she didn’t want to be treated like a queen, but regardless of that I was determined to at least give her both things.  I leaned forward and kissed her inner thigh.

A soft moan escaped her.  I kissed a little higher, and another deeper lust filled moan followed.  As I neared the treasure I heard her gasp, moan, and her breathing became heavy and uneven.  I looked at the moist set of lips presented to me.  I kissed them, gently tracing around them, and then softly penetrating them with the tip of my tongue.

“Stop teasing,” she gasped.

I ignored her protest and probed a little deeper.  Her gasps began to fill the room, and soon she was panting hard.  I licked down to the edge of her lips and found a small nub waiting, winking, and inviting me.  I cautiously licked it and when I did she pressed against me hard shoving as much of her into my face as she could.

“Please!  Don!  I… need… Want…  NOW!” she screamed with desire.

I stood and aligned myself.  The heat coming off of her was amazing, and I pushed forward.  She let out a satisfied moan as she began to rock her hips back and forth.  I wrapped my hands around her hips and began to match her tempo.  I slammed forward as she raced back.  The wonderful sounds of her pants and moans filled the air along with the squeaks of the bed springs.

Almost every fan fiction I’ve ever ready talked about the endurance and stamina of the human male in comparison to a mare in heat.  That somehow we’re all porn stars that can go for ages and never get tired.  Those fan fictions are full of it.  Since I’ve been here I’ve built up my stamina.  I’ve ran with Lyra, had sex with her several times, and I had gotten to the point where I could go off and on for a couple of hours.  I would consider that porn star worthy.  After about three hours I needed a break.  I felt Lyra fall forward and I fell beside her.  She breathed out a heavy sigh, sounding like she was content, and scooted over to me.  I felt like I had just run a marathon.  She kissed my cheek and snuggled close.

“Let’s rest for a little while, and then we can go again,” she said.

“How long does this heat usually last?” I ask.

“About a week, and I’m so glad that I have you.  I knew that you would be taking care of me,” she said.

I thought about it.  An entire week, of marathon sex, with Lyra, and it sounds great.  It sounds fantastic until I stopped to think about it.  There was no telling how long she was going to rest.  A funny thought came to me as I laid there.  If this was happening here, then were the ponies on Earth going through it again?  No, I had doubts about that.  I laid there and felt my eyes drooping.

Crushed

Be Careful what you wish for

Chapter 13 –  ‘Crushed’

The quietness of the beautiful lake surrounded me.  The past week had been interesting to say the least.  I’d wake up to find a very horny Lyra next to me.  There was far more sex in that week than I had experienced since coming here.  Like with every other mare, gryphon hen, and from what I understand minotaur cow her heat began to lessen.  Lyra said that every mare who is in a relationship, or claimed a special somepony on Heart and Hooves Day, was encouraged to report to their local hospital.

When I had asked her why she raised an eyebrow and asked me if I had ever gotten the talk about where little foals come from.  I had explained that I knew that, but I didn’t know they could check so early.  She shrugged and I decided to chalk it up to magic, and realized that I had an entire day to myself.  So, taking the day to rest up, since Mr. Rich was kind enough to allow all of his employees to have an extra day to rest before coming in, I decided that a day at the beach fishing, and lounging would be awesome.

“Hey, mind if you get some company?” a familiar voice asked.

I turned around to see Cloud Catcher and Carmel standing behind me.

“Sure, I’m not doing much anyway,” I said.

They walked up toward where I was sitting, and Carmel looked at the peaceful water.

“I don’t think that I’ve ever, and I mean ever, been so glad to see and hear so much peace and quiet,” he said.

“No kidding, so how was your first Hearts and Hooves Day?” Cloud catcher asked as he looked at me.

“I won’t lie man.  It was amazing, but damn I didn’t realize that when she said all week she meant all week,” I replied.

Carmel laughed and shook his head.

“At least you only had one to deal with,” he replied.

“Carmel are you going to brag again?” Cloud asked.

Carmel rolled his eyes.

“I wouldn’t call it bragging.  One of them was a gryphon, and trust me that’s a whole new game of hoofball.  So, did Lightning wreck your flank like she said she was going to?” he asked.

Cloud shook his head and looked out across the water.

“She was aggressive, but more than anything she wanted to be dominated.  It’s kind of weird, but she’s really into being really submissive during that time.  I wasn’t stupid enough not to give her what she wanted though,” he said.

Carmel laughed as he looked out over the lake.  He turned to look at me.

“So, is it true that human females are in heat all of the time?” he asked.

I laughed and shook my head.

“I don’t know if I’d call it in heat all of the time.  I know the majority of them have a cycle every month,” I said.

They both looked at me blankly for a moment before Carmel finally shook his head.

“You have to deal with this every month?” he asked.

“Not quite.  It’s different. I think because it happens so often it sort of lessens it to a degree.  They don’t seem as…” I struggled to find the right way to say it before Cloud laughed.

“They don’t seem as bucking nuts?” he asked.

“Yeah, that works,” I said.

“It’d be nice to not have to see them go all crazy.  Don’t get me wrong, I think the world of Carrot and I’m finding myself really liking Sveti, but to have their estrus without having them stalking me.  I’d pay a princess’ ransome,” Carmel said.

“I suppose you could always try to get a human girl,” I suggested.

He thought about it for a second and shook his head.

“No offense, but I’m not sure how it would work.  I mean all of you seem so tall and everything,” he said.

“I don’t know, but I saw Braeburn with a human girl back on Earth.  He looked fairly happy,” I said.

Carmel thought about that for a second and then shook his head.

“Naw, I like Carrot too much.  I just wish that she’d feel like settling down.  Don’t get me wrong I’m not exactly pro-herd, but I could stand to have Sveti and Carrot together,” he said.

“Nope,” Cloud said.

“Wouldn’t want to try it?” Carmel asked.

“Not. At. All,” he said, “I’ve dated a gryphon before, and that’s something I will never do again.  Those girls get violent in bed.”

Carmel laughed and shook his head, “You just have to find the right one.”

I listened to them, and soon the sound of someone else approaching caught our attention.  We looked over to see Big Mac.  He tiredly walked toward the water, backed into it, and sat down.  There was a sigh of relief before he looked around at us.

“So, I take it that you had an interesting Hearts and Hooves,” I said.

“Eeeyup,” he replied.

“Want to talk about it?” I asked.

“Nnnope.  Ah just wanna relax away from Cheerilee for a while,” he replied.

“Just Cheerilee?” Carmel asked.

“Not gonna talk ‘bout it,” Mac said.

I shook my head and looked across the water.  I could see more and more of the male population gathering around the water.  It seemed as if they were all ready to relax, get away from everything for a while, and just forget about the week they had been through.  In all honesty I felt the same.  I love Lyra, I love her with all of my heart, but that was something I won’t ever forget, and a day of being in the peace and quiet was perfect.

After a couple of hours there was a complete collection of males from Ponyville, including Mr. Cake.  The mood was fairly laid back.  I almost expected to see someone start a game of some sort, but the most that happened was the mummer of talk rising up on occasion.  I watched as Ironclaw the III dipped into the water.  It was interesting to watch for a few moments before finally someone broke the silence.

“So, how many of them do you think are with foal?” Carmel asked.

“If it was my mare’s choice she would be with foal this very second,” Ironclaw the III answered.

“Purty sure that Cheerilee is,” Mac said.

“I’m a little frightened at the prospect, but I would guess that Lightning is,” Cloud replied.

“I’m just hoping that it’s an Earth Pony this time,” Mr. Cake stated.

The answers began popping up, giving the indication that most of the population thought that there would be a new generation of foals running around before long.  Finally Cloud nudged me.

“What do you think about Lyra?” he asked.

“I don’t know.  I don’t know if our species are so far removed that it’s impossible or not.  I know that Gryphons and ponies can have children, but I don’t know about humans and ponies,” I replied.

“Maybe you will.  There’s nothing quite like having a little one running around,” a familiar voice said.

I looked and saw Chip.  He was relaxing a little further down the beach.

“I suppose it’s possible,” came a slightly gruff voice, “but then again I know that Berry and I have been trying for some time.  I’m glad that I’m able to help raise Berry Pinch at least.”

I looked to see John, the other resident human of Ponyville.  He walked toward the water, waded out into it, and let out a satisfied sigh as he laid back and floated on top of the water.

“So, when are you going to take Berry back to Earth?” Cloud asked.

“We’re waiting on the gate pass for Berry Pinch to come through.  There’s a lot of world over there that I want to show them,” he said.

“You’re wanting to leave Ponyville?” I asked.

“It’s a nice place, but it’s just not home.  I miss a few too many things about Earth, and I want Berry Pinch to get to experience some of the great things over there,” he said.

I couldn’t understand why he would want to leave.  The town was more or less perfect.  There wasn’t really any crime to speak of, and while the occasional weird thing happened it wasn’t that dangerous.  Sure, there was a few things I would want to show Lyra from Earth, but I was certain that I wouldn’t want to simply move back there either.

“John, are you planning on moving back to Earth?” I asked.

“That’s the idea.  Berry Punch and I have already gotten all of the details worked out through the embassy for the two of us, and like I said we’re just waiting on the pass for Berry Pinch.  Don’t get me wrong.  I like it here.  I really do, but this isn’t home, and besides if Berry and I want to have kids maybe the answer is in medical technology,” he answered.

I watched him float, and I wondered if he might be right.  Humans have done some pretty amazing things in the past, but I wasn’t sure if this was something that our medical advancements could really handle.  For all of our advancements I had never heard of cross breeding between a anything close to a human and a quadruped.  I not going to say that I didn’t believe it could happen.  After all there are gryphons and minotaurs so obviously the ability to cross breed was there, but both of those examples originated from here.  I wondered if it was because of the inherent magic of this world.

It would make sense if that was the case.  The magic that surrounded this world, that was part of it, but I wasn’t sure if it would work for us humans.  Everything I had seen on the news, and everyone I had talked too pretty much confirmed that we weren’t magical at all.  I decided to stop thinking about it for the moment.  Right now I wanted to relax, and just enjoy the day of doing absolutely nothing special.

The day began to pass, and I watched as the final few adult males began trickling in to the lake.  I was surprised to see Discord among everyone else there.  Being next to a god I figured that he would have simply been able to rejuvenate himself.  The air around the lake began to change as the day passed.  It was still relaxed, but the various groups of males began separating into different activities.

I smelled fish cooking, and I could see some of the other guys floating around sipping on some Trottingham Beer somepony had brought with them.  I had been fishing, and long since given my catch to the group cooking.  I wasn’t much of a fisher, but they accepted the three small fish I caught and seemed happy to have it.  I looked up into the sky and wondered exactly what was going to happen now.  Hearts and Hooves was long over, and with that I knew things were going to return to somewhat normal around Ponyville.  I also knew that more than likely there was going to be several additions to the community.

I could see every aspect of the lake, including the ‘My Little Dashie’ cabin, as I called it, being used.  I stood stretched, and began to walk.  I heard some hoofsteps and looked to see Cloud Chaser following me.

“Is everypony here?” I asked.

“Nearly, I’m sure some of the teenagers are trying to act like they didn’t do anything,” he said.

“Really?” I asked.

“Dude, I know when I was a teenager I didn’t let my family know that I had been caught and made someone’s special somepony for a few hours every day of the week after Hearts and Hooves day.  I’m pretty sure my Dad and Mom knew, but I wasn’t going to tell them that,” he said.

“So, they’d rather hang out by themselves huh?” I asked.

“Oh, don’t get me wrong.  If they’ve got some friends they’re going to be hanging out together, but for the most part they’re going to avoid coming out here,” he said.

I nodded, found myself near the fire pit, and took an offered piece of fish.  Cloud did the same and we took a seat near Ironclaw the III who was currently tearing into a piece of cooked catfish.

“He’s right you know.  When I was younger I did everything to ensure that my father and mother had absolutely no idea that I had been cornered,” Ironclaw said.

“Why go through all of that trouble?” I asked.

“It’s embarrassing,” they both answered.

I nodded and then looked up the sky again.  It was so clear.  I suppose that it would be.  The only place where there was any storms could be happening was the Everfree, and it even sounded quiet over there.  I watched the community gathered together relax, act like old friends, and then slowly everypony began leaving.  I waved at Cloud, Carmel, and Ironclaw as they left.  Instead for the moment I seemed to be completely alone.  Well almost alone.  The sounds of some arguments could be heard, and I walked toward them.  Standing in the distance was Diamond Tiara and near her was Rumble.  She turned from him and started to walk off.  I heard her final words to him.

“It was a mistake Rumble.  I meant what I said before about how everything we did was just fun, and I don’t want to have to settle down with a loser.  I don’t want you to come near me,” she said.

I looked at the adolescent colt sitting there.  It had to be hard, harder than I could even imagine, to hold in all of that pain.  Tears threatened to spill, and I walked toward him.  I took a seat across from him and looked up at the filly which was the cause of it.  I gently touched his side and brought him out of his self-enclosed withdrawal.

"Hey, it's going to be all right," I said.

He looked up at me, and his tears began to spill out.

"But...  but I...  I really like her," he muttered.

It was so painful to watch.  I had been where he was so many times.  More times that I could ever count.  I was lucky now, but I hadn't been before.  So, I figured it was time to pass along a little knowledge that my Uncle had passed on to me.

"I know it sucks.  Hell, it's seven shades of suck, but that's what a crush is.  That's actually why it's called a crush, because eventually that's exactly what it does.  No one's immune to it," I said.

"I...  I thought that she liked me," he whimpered.

"You want to hear a little secret?" I asked.

He nodded.

"Something like this happened to me.  I met a nice, sweet girl, but the problem was she was dating a real jerk.  Everyone knew that he was cheating on her, but she loved him.  I got to talking to her, and we got to be close.  I finally told her how I felt, and when I did she shot me down.  She was sweet about it, but it hurt all the same," I said as I looked up at the sky, "I realized that she didn't need another boyfriend, but she wanted a best friend.  So I decided to be the best friend I could to her.  The truth is that there's always going to be girls breaking your heart, and all you can really do is pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep going.  You keep going because eventually you're going to meet someone who's going to want to do nothing more than fawn over you."

"Sure..." he said.

"No, it's true," a different voice said.

We looked up to see Lyra trotting over to us.  She sat down on the other side of him.

"He's right you know.  You have to keep trying because eventually you will meet your special somepony, and when you do you'll be so glad that you never gave up," she said.

“She’s…  She’s going to have our foal,” he choked out.

Lyra took him into her forehooves and held him as he began to weep bitterly.

“My foal…  my foal isn’t ever gonna know that I’m the daddy,” Rumble said.

He brought his wings up to cover himself as Lyra held him.  I joined in the hug and wished that I could take the hurt away from the poor kid.  Sure, I knew in some way he had brought this on himself, but it wasn’t really fair to think like that.  The kid at least deserved to have his foals know him.

“It’ll be okay,” I said.

After a couple of hours we walked Rumble back to the family he was staying with.  Since his brother was on vacation at the moment he had been fortunate enough to get to stay with the cakes.  Apparently they had put him up in Pinkie’s old room, which was surprising to me.  I wasn’t sure why it was surprising, but perhaps because of the times I had seen the show and always associated Pinkie Pie with Sugarcube Corner.

We walked into the bar and Lyra let out a sigh.  I felt a sort of heaviness in the air and touched her hoof.

“Something wrong?” I asked.

“Another year of not expecting,” she said.

There was a sad smile on her face.

“I’m kind of wondering if maybe I just can’t have foals,” she said.

I pulled her into a hug and felt her wrap her forehooves around me.

“So, you’d like to have children?” I asked.

“Yeah, I was a little disappointed this time, although I really don’t want them right now.  I’d kind of like to be married before getting pregnant,” she said, “Do you think that we’ll be able to have foals one day?”

“Honestly I’m sure that anything is possible,” I said before I kissed her.

Gypsy Brew

Be Careful what you wish for

Chapter 14 – ‘Gypsy’s Brew’

I checked the time for the fourth time.  It had been four days since the impromptu gathering at the lake, and since that time I had been getting back to work.  Well, work and getting Lyra ready for her chance to audition for the Canterlot Royal Symphony.  We checked the savings, and it looked like we had more than enough for the train ticket, and for the cost to stay at the hotel the ponies auditioning were required to stay at.

The auditions started in two days, and that meant when I got home tonight we needed to get her ready to travel.  She had to be there an entire day early for registration, and while I’m proud that she’s going to try out I won’t lie and say that an entire week without Lyra here with me is going to be hard.  I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to sleep with her in the bed with me.

I get back to work and check the repairs.  So far I’ve fixed fourteen cassettes, about six eight track tapes, and I’ve cleaned nearly twenty VHS players.  Finally I looked up again and smiled.  It was time to clock out for the day.  I walked to the time clock and punched out.  I looked up to see Rumble standing outside of Mr. Rich’s office.

“Rumble, what’s wrong?” I asked.

He turned to me and then looked back at the office.

“I…  I want to talk to Mr. Rich about my foal,” he said.

Lyra and I had talked about this, and we both agreed that we should accompany him when he goes in to talk to Mr. Rich.  We wanted to even if it was for no other reason than to be moral support for the kid.  I knocked on the door and a moment later Filthy Rich opened the door.  He looked at us, arched an eyebrow and moved over to let us come in.

“Don, is there a problem?” he asked.

“With me, no there isn’t sir, but Rumble here wants to discuss something with you,” I replied.

He turned to the adolescent colt.

“What seems to be the problem young sir?” Filthy Rich asked.

“Sir, I…  ummm…  You see Diamond and me…  we,” he tried to say before he turned to me.

“What about Diamond?” Filthy Rich asked his face becoming one of concern.

“Mr. Rich, it appears that Rumble and Diamond got together during Hearts and Hooves,” I said.

His face changed from one of concern to barely contained righteous rage.  He stared coldly at the kid.

“Did you harm my daughter?” he asked.

“No…  she…  I thought that she loved me!  She’s gonna have my foal and she said that I can’t even see them!” Rumble cried out.

Filthy Rich’s eyes closed, he breathed out an angry sigh and then pressed a button on his desk.

“Ms Drops, I need you to call send a currier over to our clothing store and have my daughter come here at once,” he said.

We stood there in awkward silence, a look of disappointment and anger still etched on Filthy Rich’s face.  After half an hour the door opened and Diamond Tiara walked into the room.  She looked indignantly toward her father and Rumble.  I watched, perfectly content to be ignored by the filly.

“Diamond, what is this I heard about your actions during Hearts and Hooves.  I had left strict instructions for you to stay at home!” Filthy roared at her.

Her indignant mask cracked almost instantly.  Suddenly it was replaced with tears and what almost looked like shame.  I was surprised to see how fast she changed.

“Daddy…  I…  it was so hot, and it burned so much and… and he took advantage of the situation!” she screamed at Rumble.

“Really?  Because I recall hearing you telling him something different,” I said.

She looked at me her eyes showing the anger deep inside of herself.

“What did she say?” he asked.

“It was along the lines of how what they did was for fun,” I said.

“No, she told me It was a mistake, and that she meant what she said before about how everything we did was just fun, and she didn’t want to have to settle down with a loser,” Rumble said.

Filthy looked at his daughter who was attempting to pretend that she wasn’t in the room.

“Diamond, did you visit the hospital?” he asked.

“Daddy…” she started before he stopped her.

“Don’t.  Just don’t.  I am so ashamed of you Diamond.  It was your mother’s greatest hope that you would save yourself as she did.  She waited until she found her special somepony.  It was hard on her, but she found ways of dealing with her urges.  She wanted you to do the same thing, and now...  I am truly disappointed in you,” he said.

“Daddy, please I’m sorry,” she said looking at him.

“You are going to keep the foal,” he said.

“But…  But I can’t take care of a foal!  I have a social life!” she exclaimed.

“Diamond, you will keep the foal, you will help raise it.  Rumble, wasn’t it?” he asked.

Rumble nodded.

“Rumble is going to help in the raising of the foal.  As for what the foal needs I will ensure that there is food, shelter, and a bed, but the two of you will be responsible for everything else,” he said.

“If… if the foal is a Pegasus I have a crib.  It was mine when I was little,” Rumble said.

“When the time comes we’ll see if it can be used or not.  I appreciate the fact that you are thinking ahead.  Diamond, I am going to call Nurse Redheart every month for reports on how things are going.  I expect you tell me before hand, but I will be calling her.  You will go in and get regular checkups.  Do you understand?” he asked.

“Daddy this isn’t fair!  I don’t even want a stupid foal with this loser!” she said slamming her hoof down.

Rumble lowered his head.  It was so hard to imagine how much it hurt to hear those words.  I had been rejected before, and I knew the kind of pain that came with that.  Still, to be told that not only was I not wanted, but that the child I helped create wasn’t wanted either. I was really glad that I had never felt that.

“Don, would you mind taking Rumble into the Employee lounge for a moment.  I need to have a word with my daughter,” Filthy Rich said.

I had Rumble follow me into the room that was converted into an employee lounge in the back.  Unlike Pencils, or any other retail place I ever worked at, Mr. Rich kept the lounge stocked with free drinks and snacks for his employees.  I spotted a package of Potato chips and offered them to Rumble.

“Thank you,” he said.

“It’s all right.  Lyra and I both talked about being with you when this happened.  I didn’t feel right to let you do it alone,” I said.

He looked at the open sack of chips and then at me.

“I don’t know what to do,” he admitted.

I could see the fear in his eyes.  It seemed to just pour off of him, and I didn’t know a single thing I could tell him.  He was getting ready to go through a very life changing experience, and nothing I said would make a bit of difference.  I let out a slow breath and looked toward the wall.

“I don’t even begin to know how things will work out.  I’ve had a few friends that had kids, but most of them walked away from the responsibility.  It wasn’t just when I was a teenager either.  Some of these guys have done it recently, and it’s a pretty awful thing to do.  I’m proud that you want to step up and have something to do with your foal.  That shows some major maturity,” I said as I continued to study the wall ahead of me, “but I don’t know how things are going to work out. I can tell you that if you ever need someone to talk to I’m willing to listen.”

He scooted a little closer, crossed his forelegs in front of him, and laid his head down.  I heard a snort come from him.

“I was so stupid,” he said.

“No one’s blaming you,” I replied.

“She doesn’t love me.  She doesn’t want to be with me.  Everypony knows that Thunder raised me mostly by himself.  I mean after mom died,” he said.

I raised an eyebrow at hearing this.  Most of the theories around Rumble and Thunderlane was that both of their parents had died sometime before.

“What about your dad?” I asked.

“He was some jerk that made mom cry.  I barely remember mom.  I mean I really barely remember her, but Thunder told me once that he asked about our dad.  He told me that if he ever found him he would beat the stuffing out of him,” Rumble said.

“I take it that he wasn’t a good stallion huh?” I asked.

“He left mom after I was born.  Thunder said he liked to drink a whole bunch.  He asked where he went, and that’s what made mom cry,” Rumble replied.

Now I felt like an ass.  Obviously Rumble’s mother had been a very determined mare.  She had somehow managed to raise a colt who was strong enough to raise his younger brother.  It spoke volumes about her character.  After a few moments the door opened and in walked Diamond Tiara and Filthy Rich.  Diamond was looking at the floor.

“Rumble, I’m going to have my lawyers draw up some papers.  Those papers are going to ensure that you have shared custody of my grandfoal.  Know that I’m going to be checking in as often as I can.  I want to make sure that my grandfoal is well taken care of, and I don’t want to see him or her living in squalor.  I know that at the moment you’re still in school, and living with your brother.  If my grandfoal is not a Pegasus I will expect you to have some place on the ground for them,” Filthy Rich said.

“I will,” Rumble said.

“Diamond, there is something that you need to say,” Filthy stated.

“I didn’t mean what I said about our foal, and what I said about you, but I still don’t want to be with you,” she said.

“Thanks,” Rumble said as he got up.

I walked with him to the door and held it open for him.  He walked on out and I felt a forehoof on my arm.

“Don, may I speak with you for a moment?” he asked.

I nodded and we waited until Diamond Tiara was out of ear shot.

“That colt wasn’t the first was he?” Filthy Rich asked.

I breathed out a sigh and wasn’t sure how to answer the question.  Had I seen anyone other than Rumble?  No, but if I was to take a guess she had been quite the busy little filly when she began to come into her own.

“Honestly, he’s the only one that I know of, but I have doubts that he’s the only one period,” I answered.

He groaned and looked at the ground.

“She looks so much like her mother.  She looks so much like Ruby Broach, but she doesn’t act like her.  Ruby, her mother, was such a sweet mare.  I wish that she would have been here to help raise Diamond.  I really do, but I lost her in foal birth.  It was before teleporting the foal from inside of the womb to outside of it was such a common practice,” he said.

“I know it has to hurt,” I said.

“It doesn’t just hurt.  It’s as if she’s hitting her mother in the face.  Ruby really wanted her to find her special somepony.  That’s what she really wanted for Diamond,” he said.

I touched his shoulder and Filthy slumped.  It was almost as if he had just been beaten down over time.

“You could have done worse.  I mean things aren’t working out the way you’d like, but at least Rumble wants something to do with his foal.  He wants to take responsibility,” I replied.

“He would make a wonderful addition to the family, but with the way Diamond has treated him I doubt that would happen.  Perhaps it is for the best.  I feel that my daughter needs to learn a little humility.  While it pains me to do it I fear that I must be the one to teach her,” he said.

I wasn’t sure what to say.  I agreed that Diamond needed to learn a little humility, and that maybe it would help make her a better pony.  I just hated that it seemed to have broken Filthy down like it had.  I could remember every episode that had Diamond Tiara in it, and in every single one she was always a spoiled brat.  Maybe if her mother would have lived things would have been different, but then again I just didn’t know.

I told him that if he needed anything to give me a call.  After that I left and headed home.  I knew that I was going to have to head to the market at some point, but right now what I wanted was to get home and spend the evening with Lyra.

I opened the door walked in, and found Lyra working on the bar.  She seemed distracted, and while she was busy I walked up behind her.  I pulled her into an embrace, and when I did whatever spell she was preforming canceled out.  The sound of something clattering to the floor filled the room.

“Don,” she whispered.

I felt something touch me, and the same feeling spread out and began touching me in several spots at once.

“I wanted to get here sooner,” I said as I held her against me, “The idea that you’re going to be gone for a couple of weeks hasn’t set well with me.”

“I don’t have to go…  I mean I could…” she started before I turned her around and kissed her.

She kissed me back deeply.  My hands moved down to her cutie marks and cupped them.  I picked her up and placed her on the bar. I kissed down her, moving determinedly toward my prize.  She let out a soft moan, and I felt her forehooves wrap around my head.  She pulled me harder against her sex.  I felt her tighten around my tongue, her moans and gasps filling the room.  Finally, when she came down her grip loosened.  I stood up, took her into my arms, and carried her upstairs.

“Do you want me to stay?” she asked once we were upstairs.

“No, I want you to go and try out.  Lyra, you have the ability and skill. It’s something that I believe you should share with the world,” I said.

We settled down together and soon sleep had us both.  I felt the bed stir for a moment and I looked up to see Lyra sitting on the side of the bed.  I scooted toward her only to watch her distance herself from me.

“I wanted a family,” her voice said.

I looked around to see a nearly empty room.  The entire thing went dark, and then when the light came on their was a cauldron in the distance.  I saw it smoking, and near it I saw Pinkie Pie dancing around it.  It wasn’t the same Pinkie that was living with Louis, but it was her cartoon counterpart.  The entire time she danced I heard her singing the lyrics to one of Friendship is Witchcraft’s most memorable songs, Pinkie's Brew.

“Pinkie?” I asked.

“The portal only works one way, one time, one way!  Jump through, and seize the day!” she exclaimed.

I walked toward it before the image completely disappeared.

“Mr. Riker, I believe it is time we spoke,” a familiar voice said.

I watched as the air rippled around me and Luna appeared.

“Princess Luna?  I’m surprised that you decided to visit me.  This isn’t really what I would call a nightmare,” I said.

“It’s what I felt was building from the outside.  There was a nightmare of epic proportions coming,” she said.

I nodded and took a seat.

“I guess Lyra’s news is getting to me a little more than I’ve been admitting,” I said.

“It’s a hard thing to consider not having a foal.  My sister and I have both been through our cycles, and during them we’ve both conceived, but only Celestia has carried until full term.  The last time I attempted…  The foal was still born,” she said as she sat next to me.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“Thank you, and the time has helped, but there is not a day where I often ask what it would have been like if my foal would have lived.  Perhaps she would still be alive, though I have my doubts.  After all, Celestia’s own son had an extended life, but he eventually fell to time,” she said.

“Thanks, I guess what I’m the most worried about isn’t just having foals, but I’m worried that if proves to be impossible for us that Lyra may decide to find someone else,” I admitted.

“I have seen inside of her dreams, and while the want of a family is there she has no desire to be separated from you,” she said.

I breathed a sigh of relief.  I wasn’t sure why it relieved me so much to hear that Lyra didn’t want to be separated from me.  She had told me countless times that she loved me.  The was one thing about Lyra, my Lyra, she was full of love.  I knew some of the other ponies thought that she was a bit strange, but that was part of the charm of her.  I noticed that Luna was studying the cauldron Pinkie’s Friendship is Witchcraft counterpart was dancing around.

“I take it this is a brony thing correct?” she asked.

“Actually yeah, although with Equestria being real I’m sort of forced to wonder how many of these other places that people dreamed up might be real.  If it is then there may be an equestrian where Pinkie Pie is able to create portals to travel back and forth through time, and Twilight is a little dumber than she is here.  That’s not to mention that Fluttershy would be a leader of a cult, and a dozen other things,” I said.

“You humans, you bronies especially have some odd ideas about us.  I still remember my sister’s mortified face when she heard the explanation of what Molestia was.  She personally wanted to hoof deliver a letter to Twilight Sparkle asking for forgiveness for something she had never done,” Luna replied.

“Wow…  I’d thought that someone would have had the good graces not to bring that part of the fandom up.  She looked like she was okay the last time I saw her, so is she taking it well?” I asked.

“She is, although she is currently on Earth.  When she is here she asks me to sit in on her court to ensure that she doesn’t act like that version of her,” Luna said with a giggle.

“Thanks for helping me feel better Luna, although, why was I dreaming about Pinkie Pie?” I asked.

“I have learned something that explains situations like this from Twilight and her friends.  It is simply Pinkie being Pinkie.  Trust that, and simply do not question it.  If you do that then perhaps you will retain your sanity.  My sister informed me that Twilight nearly lost her sanity trying to figure out how Pinkie is able to do the things she does,” Luna said as she studied the cauldron a bit more.

Family and Nuptials

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Ready, Aim, Shoot for Movie Magic! (Mini Chapter)

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Set the Date, Invite the Friends, and Deal with the Questions

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First Impressions

Be Careful what you wish for

Tie in with the Room for Rent Universe

Chapter 2 – ‘First Impressions’

“Sir, we’ve arrived at your stop,” the conductor mare said.

I stretched and looked at the mare that had been sitting in front of me.  She was still sitting there, her eyes wide, a sort of excited painted on her face.  I waved a little and she grinned.

“Hi,” I said.

“Hi!  Oh my gosh this is so exciting!” she exclaimed.

That’s when it dawned on me.  My brain finally had the rest it needed to make the connections and I realized that I was looking at Lyra Heartstrings.  My eyes widened as I looked at one of my favorite background ponies.  Her voice sounded just like it had on the Canterlot wedding episode.  She looked at me with a mixture of excitement, curiosity, and something else I wasn’t quite sure of.

“I’m Don,” I said extending my hand.

She placed her hoof in it, a goofy smile crossed her lips, and she promptly began to shake it.

“I’m Lyra.  It’s so nice to meet you Don.  What are you planning on doing here in Ponyville?” she asked.

“I don’t know.  I used to watch the show, and I wanted to come and visit Ponyville, look around, and just take the time to get to know everypony,” I said.

She giggled lightly as we both stood up and started to walk off of the train.

“Not too many humans use that term.  Even most of the Bronies have just about quit using it.  Thanks for being one of the ones who haven’t,” she replied.

I smiled and looked at the darkened town.  It looked so similar to the Ponyville on the show, but there was some differences.  Where the show had been obviously cartoonized for kids this looked more like a small village on the cusp of the beginning of the Age of Enlightenment in England.  The walls all seemed to be a simple mortar and wood creation, and the roofs all were thatch.  Damn, if my old Lit Professor from college could see this he would have a heart attack and die with a smile on his face.  There were a few different houses than the show, and I assumed that these houses had been constructed after the gateway was opened.

One of them was a large brick house with a tin roof on it.  I could see a sign out on the front of it.

“Sunny Dreams Real Estate!  Homes of the future today!  Need a new home?  See Sunny D today!”  the sign had printed on it.

I laughed as I looked at the ranch home.  They weren’t bad at all, and I could tell that whoever had built them had done so in an attempt to make them seem to fit a little better with the local building.  It still looked different, but it didn’t stick out like a normal house from our world would.  I felt a tug on my arm and I looked at Lyra.

“Say, it’s pretty late.   You got a place to stay?” she asked.

“Actually, I do have free stay voucher for the Doo Drop Inn.  I guess that I really should head over there.  I’m not really sure where it is though,” I said.

She grinned and looked at the street.

“Well, the Doo Drop is just a couple of blocks down this way.  I mean it’s right across the street from The Little White Lyre,” she said.

I had no idea what The Little White Lyre was.  It was never shown on the show, and although Pinkie and I talked pretty often I never did really think to ask about what Ponyville was like.  I guess that I had simply assumed that it was just like the show.  Of course after seeing the news release of the first few ponies crossing over I suppose I should have realized that a few things would be different.

Lyra turned toward me and smiled brightly.  I looked at the hotel and it looked more like the traditional homes in Ponyville.

“Thanks for showing me where this is,” I said.

“Oh, it’s no problem at all!” she exclaimed.

I could tell that she was seriously trying hard not to gush.  I could only guess that she had a few run ins with some of the non-Bronies before and most likely came on a little too strong.  I smiled and looked at the hotel.  The sign said that the office would be open at six am.

“Ummm… What time is it?” I asked.

She lifted her foreleg and I could see a slightly glowing wrist watch near her hoof.

“It’s almost four in the morning…  Oh!  You can’t check in yet huh?  Say, want to grab some breakfast?  Sugarcube corner should be opening in about ten minutes, and I know that they should have the first batch of doughnuts and cupcakes done!” she exclaimed.

“That sounds great, so how do you like having humans in your world?” I asked.

The squeal of excitement that came from her only confirmed what every Brony had theorized.  She turned toward me and lifted a hoof to my right hand.

“It’s amazing!  I mean you guys actually exist!  You really exist and I told everyone that you did!  I had told them a thousand times, and my ex told me time and time again that I was wrong, but then I was right!  They wouldn’t let go through the gate though,” she said sounding depressed.

“I’m sorry to hear about that, but I’m sure that you’ve got to meet some humans here in Ponyville right?” I asked.

“Some, but a lot of them want to go to Canterlot, Manehattan, Las Pegasus, Fillydelphia, or Neigh York.  Almost no one wants to come to Ponyville,” she said.

I almost didn’t believe it, but then the more I thought about it the more that it occurred that it wasn’t so strange to think that.  Most Bronies that were coming over wanted to see the cities they had only read about in fan fiction and never really seen.  I can only imagine what the Crystal Ponies were going through with having this new species entering their land.  The thought of the different cities I was sure members of the Brony community were seeing for the first time drifted away as we neared a heavenly smell.

There are some times that I really do envy my friends.  It’s not that I’m really concerned too much with how I look. Hell, Dr. Loomis was right about not having to check for any STDs.  The way things were going I was going to end up just like that one goof on that stupid movie that came out a few years ago about a dude working retail, being forty years old, and still a virgin.  Somehow I think that they recorded my life at some point.  I let out a small groan and just ignored the thought.  Still, the fact that some of my friends, Louis included, could eat whatever the hell they wanted and not have to worry about hitting the running track too much afterward didn’t sit well.

Sure, I was a little pudgy, but it wasn’t obscene kind of pudgy.  It wasn’t even overly fat.  It was lanky fat.  I was built like a stereotypical nerd.  Kinda tall, lanky, a little pudgy in places, and of course my glasses that adorned my face, but nothing that really screamed for another reason for someone to find another fault.  It also didn’t help that I walked and ran for my exercise.  I thanked fan fiction like My Little Dashie for making me want to walk.

So, smelling the wonderful scent of fresh baked goods made me question if I really wanted to splurge and have a cupcake or a doughnut.  I almost said the most annoying acronym ever created when I decided to just say the words instead.

“What the hell, you only live once,” I said as I followed Lyra.

I could see Carrot Cake and Cup Cake working in the kitchen and a moment later Carrot walked out to the counter.  He smiled brightly and waved toward us.

“Welcome to Ponyville!  What can I get for you two?” he asked.

“What’s good?” I asked Lyra.

She beamed and looked at the newly printed menu above Carrot Cake’s head.

“Can we get two breakfast stacks?  Extra butter?” she asked.

“Do you want the hay pancakes or the normal kind?” he asked.

She looked at me and I shrugged.

“I’ve never tried the hay kind,” I said.

“The Hay kind please,” she said.

We walked to a table and she looked at the suitcase I was carrying.  I had thought ahead and brought my old hard shell suitcase instead of the faux leather one I had.  The last thing I wanted was to upset the locals on the chance that some other theories were correct and leather was illegal here.

“What’s Earth like?!  What’s it like being human?!  Oh!  Is it true that you’ve got machines that can do everything for you guys?!” she asked.

I smiled and shook my head.

“We’ve got a lot of machines, but there is still plenty that we have to do on our own, and actually since the gate has opened there’s been an influx of some of our older technology making a comeback.  The store I worked in was starting to get Stereo 8 tapes back in, and they were starting to re-carry the Walkman,” I said with a laugh.

“I love the Walkman!  They have some rentals at the gym, and I like to get one and listen to something while I’m practicing my yoga,” she said.

The idea of the ponies doing yoga seemed a little odd, but then again I had to remember that some of them had been accomplished martial artists, or at least were on the show.  It made a lot more sense than I actually stopped to realize.  The ponies had a culture that those of us in the Brony community had seen for years.  We had witnessed some of their exploits, and on top of that we knew that they at very least had some basic technology.  Still, even with what we thought we knew there was an entire world over here that we hadn’t even begin to scratch the surface of.

Lyra led me to a table and I took a seat.  Like what I had seen in the show the tables were a little lower, and they were designed for the ponies to sit on the floor, or sit on a wooden stool.  Across from the table we sat at was a taller table.  It was almost designed like a Picnic table, with separated bench seats next to it.  Each seat was connected to the table, but there was a little room between them so that someone could take a seat on their own seat instead of sitting on the same seat as another person.

“That’s actually kind of ingenious,” I said pointing to the table.

She looked at it and took in the sight of the large table.

“I remember when it was delivered.  The cakes ordered it directly from a store called Smiley-Mart on Earth.  Once it got here it had to be assembled, but Big Mac was around and he helped do it,” she said.

“Ah,” I said.

The thought of Smiley-Mart getting customers over here didn’t bother me, but then again if I knew the corporate giant like I thought that I did they wouldn’t have a problem setting up a distribution center here and hiring the locals at a tenth of what they most likely would be paid somewhere else.  I hoped that Princess Celestia and Luna would have the good sense to make sure that products from them could be bought, but the that the store would have to remain outside of Equestria’s boarders

Our pancakes came a few moments later.  Carrot Cake brought over a pitcher of syrup and sat it down on the table next to us.

“Enjoy!” he said.

All of my favorite fan fictions had told me that hay anything was eatable.  That hay pancakes tasted like almost heavy grain wheat pancakes.  I was ready for this.  I could handle this, and I took my first bite.  Every expectation was proven wrong.  This didn’t taste like heavy whole grain wheat pancakes.  This tasted like stale pancake mix.  It had a sort of bland taste to it, and I instantly added syrup.  That helped, some, but it was missing so much more.  There was the blank taste that I could only describe as being somewhat close to stale bread, or maybe recently cooked spaghetti with nothing on it except for just the noodles.  It wasn’t foul, but it just didn’t taste right.  The thought of butter would help, but then again I didn’t want to insult either of the cakes.  Instead I ate a little more and when I was about halfway finished with the small stack I stopped.

“Something wrong?” Lyra asked.

“I’m sorry, but it doesn’t really taste right to me.  I don’t want to insult the cakes though,” I said.

She shook her head, looked toward the kitchen, and quickly ate the remainder of my pancakes, with the remainder of the syrup as well.  Once that was done she pushed my plate toward her own.

“There we go, although I might have to hit the gym a little harder today,” she replied.

“Yoga?” I asked.

“Actually today is Cardio.  I’ve got a lot of running to do.  I figured that I could do it on the treadmill,” she replied.

“Why not run out here?” I asked.

She looked at me for a moment and then moved her front hooves in a slightly embarrassed manner.

“Well…  I would, but I don’t have a running buddy anymore, and it kind of looks weird for me to be running in my workout clothes.  Sure, there are a few other mares that do the same now, but most everypony else likes to run all natural,” she said.

“So, it would make you feel better to have a running buddy right?” I asked.

She nodded.

“Okay, how about we run today.  I did a lot of walking and running back home, and I want to see Ponyville along with the surrounding area.  We could take a couple of laps around, and if you wanted you could point a few things out to me.  I think that it would be a win win for us both,” I suggested.

She let out an excited squee that reminded me of why I had loved the show so much.  I still watched it from time to time, but it just wasn’t the same since the real Equestrians had come to Earth.  That sound, that adorable cousin to an excited squeal was just as adorable in real life.

“Do you mean it?!  You’ll really go running with me?!” she asked excitedly.

“Sure, I don’t mind to.  What time today would be good for you?” I asked.

“Ummm… Ummm…  Ummm…  How about this afternoon?!  We could go about one, run a little while, get some lunch, and I can give you a tour if you want,” she said.

“I’d like that,” I replied.

The two of us talked about the town, what had happened since the gate opened up.  Apparently a few things from Earth had been a bit more accepted than others.  The advent of technology was one of them, but the again so was liquor.  From what I understand there had been something of influx of rum to Equestria.  It appeared that spiced rum had become a hit, and there was being something of a limit put on how much could be bought at one time.

It sounded similar to what happened during Cider season, but the way Lyra explained it if they didn’t set limits then no place could carry it for long.  She informed me that as it was only Filthy Rich’s general store was able to carry it, and even then they didn’t get it in often.  I had thought about bringing a bottle of Captain Morgan from the apartment, but I had decided against it.  The last thing I wanted was to get into trouble for trying to bring a bottle of booze into Equestria.  Now I kind of regretted not brining it along.  If I would have then there was the possibility that I could have endeared myself a little more to one of the locals.  Oh well, live and learn.

We spent the next hour talking, and then before we left I bought the both of us a coffee.  Apparently it was something else that had been introduced to the Equestrians, and it was something that they absolutely loved.  We walked together with our coffees in their insulated cups.  Lyra walked me all of the way back to the Doo Drop Inn and stopped at the front door.

“So, see you later today right?” she asked sounding a little nervous.

“If you want to that would be awesome.  We’ll run, and like you said you can show me around,” I replied.

She smiled brightly, stood up on her hind legs and wrapped her forelegs around my neck.  I hugged her back, and I had to admit that she felt soft.  Actually, she felt a lot softer than I had expected her to feel.  I’m sure that I could ask Louis about this, and I’m certain that he would never actually admit to it, but I’ll be the first to admit that I think that most people are tactile.  We enjoy touching something soft, and I would almost bet that despite what he said Louis enjoyed petting and getting a hug from Pinkie.  Well, that he would if it felt like this.

My eyes opened as I felt a light grope.  I looked down to see a content looking Lyra, and thought nothing of it.  She dropped down to the ground and smiled up at me.

“I’ll be out here at one pm!” she exclaimed.

“So will I!  See you then,” I said.

I watched as she walked off and I walked into the lobby of the Doo Drop Inn.  A moment later another background pony I knew walked up to the desk.  She let out a soft yawn and smiled at me.

“Welcome to the Doo Drop Inn!  How many nights will you be staying?” she asked.

“Well, the voucher I have is for one night, and I might stay a few nights more afterward,” I said.

She nodded and pushed a book toward me.  I saw a pen sitting in an ink well and lifted it up.  I wrote my name, how address, and looked at the place for a phone number.  Once that was done I opened my suitcase and dug out the envelope that I had put in there for the voucher.  I handed it to her and she studied it for a moment before nodding.

“Okay, this voucher is for a deluxe room, so please follow me,” she said.

I did what she said and followed Minuette toward the third floor.  Once there she led me to one of the six rooms on the floor and handed me a key.  It looked like an old fashioned skeleton key, not something that you would really expect to see from a hotel, but I didn’t question it. I opened the door, and what she said about deluxe didn’t begin to cover it.  The room was huge.  It was like they took two of my apartment, crammed them together, and then gave a couple places to section it off.  She walked in and pointed toward the two closed off areas.

“Over there,” she said pointing to the right, “is the den, and over there,” she said pointing to the left, “is the master bedroom and bathroom.  The couch is a futon, so if you have a visitor they can sleep there free of charge.  The only time we’ll charge for another pony would be if we have to bring up a cot.”

I nodded and thanked her.  She smiled, walked out, and left me alone in my room.  I had a feeling that it was going to be a bit more expensive than I would really want to pay, but at least for the night I had a place to sleep.  I walked toward the bedroom, opened the door, and looked in on what had to be one of the biggest beds I had ever seen.  It looked to be a king size bed, and if it felt like it looked then it had to be one of the softest beds I’ve ever had the pleasure of sleeping on.

I walked toward it, sat my suitcase on the ground beside me, and sat down on the bed.  It tried to swallow me in a way that only a down feather bed would.  I stretched out, let out a satisfied moan, and felt sleep pulling at me, and then I stopped myself.  I had showered, yesterday, and I was going on a run with Lyra in a little while.  I sniffed myself and seemed confident that I didn’t stink yet.  With that knowledge I undressed down to my boxers, slipped into the bed, and found the sleep that I was hoping for.

It almost seemed like I hadn’t been asleep for more than a few minutes when I opened my eyes.  The old fashioned windup alarm clock beside me said it was a quarter till one, and I found myself rushing to get out of bed, and get dressed.  I dug through my clothes and settled on my lucky Air Jordans, a pair of khaki carpenter shorts, and an Avenger’s tee shirt.  I quickly dressed, walked down to the lobby and there was Minuette behind the counter.  She smiled and waved at me.  I thought about it for a second and walked up closer to her.

“How much is it a night?” I asked.

“A deluxe room like the one you’re sleeping in usually goes for fifty bits, or fifty-five American Dollars.  If you want to rent it for a few more nights I can set that up for you,” she said.

“Put me down for three nights,” I said as I dug out a hundred sixty-five dollars and handed it to her.

She took the cash, which it was still kind of cool to see that little thumb thing on their hooves, placed it in a metal box, wrote out a receipt, and hoofed it over to me.

“Here you go,” she said.

I thanked her again and walked outside to find Lyra waiting. She was wearing running shorts that looked more like panties than shorts.  There was a white tank top that she was wearing, and her mane was pulled back into a pink scrunchie.  I grinned and walked over toward her.

“So, where do you want to run to first?” I asked.

“How about out toward the south end of town, toward Sweet Apple Acres.  Then once we’re there we can turn around and loop by the school house, over to Filty Rich’s general store, and then come up by the café,” she suggested.

“Sounds good to me,” I said.

We started to run, and for some reason I had thought it was going to be a sort of power jog instead of running.  No, she wanted to run, and it was damned near all I could do to keep up with her.  By the time we reached the café I was panting and felt like my legs were made out of lead.  We took a seat out in the open and I wiped some of the sweat off of my forehead.  I looked over at Lyra and she was sniffing the air.  I had wondered if maybe I smelled worse than I thought that I did when she scooted closer to me.

“I didn’t realize that you humans smell like that,” she said.

I raised an eye brow not quite understanding what it was that she was getting at.  She brought a hoof up and touched my cheek.  She pulled it back and sniffed the sweat coming off of me.  I was so thankful that she didn’t try to lick it or anything, but instead she sniffed it a couple more times and then grinned brightly.  I tried to figure out what it was that she was talking about until finally it sort of dawned on me.  Sweat contained pheromones, and my pheromones must smell good to her.

“Chalk one up for biology class,” I thought.

Matters of the Heart – a Discord and Fluttershy Heart and Hooves Day romance

Be Careful what you wish for

Chapter 12 –  Bonus Chapter – ‘Matters of the Heart – a Discord and Fluttershy Heart and Hooves Day romance’

My thinking tree has always been so comfortable.  Of course the fact that I have been given permission to do whatever I want with this small bit of land more than allows me to be comfortable.  To the outer appearance the tree is just that, a tree, but the moment someone was to land where I like I think it’s something else entirely.  I look at the hard wood floors, thatched ceiling, and sigh as I lean back in a faded blue recliner.  A squeak gets my attention and I look up to see a horned rabbit’s head sitting atop of an alligator’s body.

“Yes, it’s quite good to be home,” I replied.

“Squeak!”

“You were right, going and talking to Don and Lyra did give me some direction,” I admitted.

“Squeak!”

“No, I’m still not sure what it is I want to do.  This is the first time I’ve ever allowed myself to feel anything more than friendship.  I was curious,” I said.

“Squeak?”

“What do you mean have I told Fluttershy?  Of course I haven’t, not yet anyway.  I’m trying to think of something nice to do for her,” I stated.

“Squeak!!”

“Oh be serious for a moment…  No, wait, don’t do that.  I hate being serious.  Still, I seriously doubt that Fluttershy is going to find another stallion,” I replied.

“Squeak?!”

“Now that’s just ridiculous!  She wouldn’t just go looking for relief!  To think that sweet innocent Fluttershy would debase herself in such an act.  Reginaldus, you’re being difficult!” I exclaimed as I puffed out my chest.

“Squeak…”

“She only sees me as a friend if that’s all I act like?  What kind of madness is that?!  Fluttershy is very perceptive of how I feel!” I exclaimed again.

“Squeak,”

I watched as Reginaldus gave his parting words of wisdom and shook his head.  He crawled off toward the window to bathe in the sun.  I watched as a small toffee humming bird landed and pecked at its own legs just outside of Reginaldus’ grasp.  I knew what was going to happen and I watched as Reginaldus opened his mouth, a long forked tongue shot out and wrapped around the bird pulling it toward him. It was a sight to watch his sharpened rolls of shark like teeth shredding the candied bird to pieces in mere seconds.

Still, he had made a point that I didn’t want to accept.  Up until this point I had merely been Fluttershy’s pal.  There was never really a moment I had ever expressed any desire to be anything else, and perceptive as she might be Fluttershy was mortal.  Her time to do things, see things, and experience all that life had was limited.  Well, it would be if I didn’t interfere.

I snapped my claws and the coat rack walked toward me bringing a menu.  I looked over it and rubbed my chin.

“Splinter, I believe that I shall invite Fluttershy into my home for Hearts and Hooves Day.  What would you consider a meal fitting a first real date?” I asked.

Splinter, the coat rack, rubbed the knob that was his head and then pointed to an eggplant ala king meal.  It called for candied apples as an appetizer, and a thick chocolate mousse for dessert.  I nodded and watched as he walked the menu over to a kitchen stool and six puppets.  The stool and puppets studied the menu and set upon gathering the ingredients.

“Now, remember this must be perfect.  Of course we’ll need entertainment.  Candeo, do you think that you and the others can give us a floor show?” I asked the center candelabrum.

She nodded before igniting all of the candles around herself.  They began to dance in time with one another.  I clapped as they moved to an unheard music.  Seeing that it was unheard I reached out, found the dial for it, and turned it up.  The sound of a classical, prebanishment, Canterlot Waltz filled the air.  It was beautiful, heady, and reminded me quite a bit of Luna.  Then I remembered that this had been the very song played at Luna’s coronation.  Beautiful as it was I didn’t want Fluttershy to think that I was cheapening our date by using a mere princess’ coronation music.  This needed to be something else.  I reached up and turned another dial.  The sound that filled the air this time was lively, spastic, and the dancing of Candeo and her friends began to reflect the music.  It was wild, spastic, and so much fun to watch.

“Yes, this is perfect!” I exclaimed.

“Thank you, for tuning into Big Daddy Discord’s house of Swing and Jazz.  This is Big Daddy Discord playing all of the great hits of Equus and Earth.  Next, is a softer song, from Earth, a dedication from Discord to Fluttershy,” the voice said.

Earth Angel began to play, and I nodded.

“Yes, that’s perfect, be sure to play that song when she arrives,” I said.

“Of course, and now, back to the sounds of swing and jazz brought to you by the good people of Anarchy soaps and cleaners remember if needs to be tore down, restructured, and cleaned contact Anarchy,” the voice said as the sound of jazz filled the house.

I snapped my claws again and found myself outside of Fluttershy’s cottage.  Standing outside, with a grimace on his face, was Angel.  I looked at the small white rabbit and then looked at Fluttershy’s shed which was boarded up.

“What is going on?” I asked.

He looked at me and then made a heart motion.

“Heart and Hooves Day…  Oh…” I said realization hitting.

Angel nodded and then turned back toward the door and huffed out a sigh.  He quietly kicked the door once and then looked up at me.  He studied my face for a moment before an excited chitter escaped his small mouth.  He pointed to me, then to the door, and then back to me.  I grew amused at his grasp of the situation.  I almost expected to see him to show me some gratitude, but instead he rolled onto his back and began to laugh as if this was the funniest thing he had ever saw.

“And what is so funny?” I asked.

He chittered again and then quickly hopped up to the door, knocked on it.  I heard a sound behind it and the door opened just slightly.

“Angel Bunny, I told you that I can’t have you in here for the next couple of days…  Discord?” she asked sounding surprised.

“My dear Fluttershy, I have come to ask you to favor me with your presence on this Heart and Hooves day,” I said.

“I…  Oh Sweet Celestia you smell so good…” she muttered.

“I… what?” I asked.

Her door flew open and standing there was Fluttershy, with a slightly crazed look on her face, her eyes focused on me and a smile that simply reached too far back to go unnoticed.

“You smell so good Discord!” she cooed as she jumped up and wrapped her forehooves around my neck.

A quick glance around gifts me with the sight of Angel laughing so hard that it’s obvious he’s having a hard time breathing.  I can see why most everypony else dislikes the little white rabbit.  I feel Fluttershy tighten her hug against my neck and her breathing becomes heavy and erratic.

“Fluttershy…” I try to say before I pull my head off, step back, and reattach it.  Without warning she’s on me again, and this time she’s knocked me to the ground.  She nuzzles against me very affectionately, and I gently rub behind her ears.

“Fluttershy, do you have a special somepony?” I asked as she continued to attack me with her affection.

“Yes, I do now,” she whispered.

‘Just be nice to her.  She’s a nice mare, and she deserves being treated like one.  Don’t take her granted, and do something for her that she’ll really like, and if you really care for her then be ready to do whatever she wants on Hearts and Hooves Day,’ the memory of what Lyra had said floated around in my head.  I reached up, plucked the memory out and watched it for a moment before I pushed it back into my ear so it could disappear back into my thoughts again.

I hugged her back, and she felt warm, exceptionally warm.  I had seen the events of Hearts and Hooves Day well over a thousand years ago.  Luna, before her banishment, was chasing down a poor Lunar Pegasus and laying claim to him against his will.  Things were different then, not exactly better, but a bit more chaotic.

The memories of that poor Lunar guard, the sounds of his pleas not being answered reminded me of a very important thing.  This holiday was built on the ideal of insanity that would be forgiven.  Normally I would be all for a celebration of insanity.  Insanity, much like chaos, is a force much like gravity.  The closer one is to it, the quicker one falls into it.  There are a rare few that withstand the temptation of either, and even fewer who can overcome having fallen in only to redeem one of the forces.

I felt somewhat jealous of insanity at the moment.  It had its claws on Fluttershy.  True, I had once done something similar with chaos, but she had overcome falling into chaos.  The train of thought stopped when she squeezed and nuzzled me.  I wanted to win her back from insanity, and share what I had prepared with her.  It was something she would normally enjoy, but it did mean getting her to follow me.  I pulled myself in half and stepped back.  She looked at me, snorted and pounced.  I turned and began to fly chuckling as I heard her following me.

I knew that she wasn’t a strong flyer, but that seemed to have changed since the last time she flew any distance.  It wouldn’t be hard to out fly her, or vanish without a trace, but that would mean leaving her to insanity, and I refused to leave her to something that obviously liked to cheat.  We neared my thinking tree, and I turned to see her flying hard at me.

“LOVE ME!” she shouted as she neared me.

I waited, and she tackled me.  Whatever insanity had been running through her mind had flooded over her.  I held her, snapped my claws, and the sound of the song I had chosen earlier began to play.  She lessened her grip on me for a moment and looked around.

“We always have dinner at your home, and I wanted to share mine with you.  If I am your special somepony, and I truly hope I am, then  I wanted to make this day perfect for you,” I said.

She went back to nuzzling against me, and opened her eyes again.  The look I had seen on Luna’s face over a thousand years ago, the look that was obviously on every mare’s face in Ponyville, and I dare say all of Equus, was fading.  There was something else on her face.  It suited her.  Her kind eyes sparkled differently and she leaned up to me.  I felt something I had never expected to ever feel.

“This is Big Daddy Discord saying to share your hearts to all of you Avatars of Chaos and mares out there today,” the voice said at the end of the song.

“You went through all of this trouble for me,” she said.

“Of course I did.  You’re my friend, and over the years I’ve realized how close you’ve become to me.  I dare say I wouldn’t be the avatar of chaos I am today if not for you.  Fluttershy, I…” I found myself unable to finish the sentence.

I found the words stuck in my throat, and even I couldn’t pull them out.  Instead she kissed me once more, and when she did the words came out.  They filled the room with a feeling I wasn’t sure I would enjoy, but much like friendship itself I found myself wanting this feeling more and more.  She broke the kiss and placed her hind hooves on the floor.  Her right forehoof stayed in my left hand and she led me away from the dinner, from the show, from the music and to a place I hadn’t dared think of.

The room opened, a complete copy of the bedroom she had allowed me to stay in once long ago.

“I love you too,” she said.

Her touch was better than chaos, her kiss sweeter than any torment I could ever give Celestia, and the gift she gave me more precious than the freedom I once held so highly.  I held her, hours after she first began, knowing that things were different.  Change, now I could stand change.  Change wasn’t like insanity.  Change shared.  Change understood that there was give and take.  It wasn’t greedy like insanity was.  If I had to share I could do so with change, and change had given something else in return.

Change had given a marefriend in the place of a friend, and a lover in the place of a playful Avatar.