There are flowers on the windowsill. Petunias. Bright, almost garish purple petunias that wave in the breeze of my open window. Gifts from three of my brightest. Scoots, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle. Bless their little cutie mark-obsessed hearts, they brought me flowers.
Now somepony else is here to see me. She trots in meekly and removes her crown with a burst from her horn, setting it down on an unoccupied slice of the credenza otherwise choked with get better cards.
She just stands there, so I begin.
"I'm angry. I'm dying. You would be angry too.
"I shouldn't be angry. I know. I wish I wasn't angry.
"But I'm dying, and that makes me angry.
"Life isn't fair. I know that. Even in Equestria. Even in Equestria, one of the fairest kingdoms in all the land, life isn't fair.
"Sure, death takes us all. I know that. Well, if you're a pretty pink or purple or white or blue princess it doesn't, at least as far as I or anyone else can tell. But excepting them, or you, I should say, death takes us all. I get that.
"But why does it have to take me so soon?
"Why me? I'm a teacher. I'm the type of pony who's supposed to die peacefully and happily when I'm ninety-three. I help ponies grow. Why am I being punished for that? Huh? Tell me princess. Why am I dying?"
Twilight just stands there, giving me pity. She has no answer, because she doesn't know. She doesn't even know if she's immortal. She'll certainly live longer than me.
"Well, anything? You're a princess. You're supposed to know these things!"
Still, she stands there. Elysium knows she's in no position to answer. But I want answers, even if they're trite pleasant lies. And I sure am not going to ask these questions to the foals. They don't deserve that. That's why I called in her.
"I'm sorry," she mutters under her breath.
"Pardon?"
"I said 'I'm sorry,'" she repeats, louder. The princess of friendship has a lot of public relations work to do yet. But hey, she'll have a lifetime to work on it, unlike me.
"You're sorry, Princess?" I ask disdainfully. "You're sorry cancer is spreading through my lymph nodes and will kill me in a few weeks, maybe a month at best? Is that the best you can offer me, Twilight Sparkle? Sorry?"
She hangs her head. Reluctantly, her haunches sink to the floor. Even sitting down, she's regal and impressive; she's really growing into that probably-immortal body. Good for her, I guess. It's my turn to sigh.
"Twilight, I asked for your presence because I want somepony to talk to. You know I can't throw these questions at my students or their parents. I have to be strong for them. I have to tell them there's hope. I have to tell the CMC that I'll live to see them get their marks. But baring a miracle, probably involving tree sap, I won't be seeing that. Do you have any idea how hard that is?"
"No. I wish I..." She stops herself in time to consider the implications of what she was about to wish for. "No, I don't," she finishes plainly.
"Get used to these kinds of questions, Princess. It only gets harder from here on out. Ponies look up to you, like they look up to me. So they're going to throw the ugly horseshoes your way."
She finally breaks. She starts to cry. Good. She's always so analytic. I don't know the last time she actually showed emotions. Okay, that's not fair. She's the princess of friendship. Friendship is built on emotional camaraderie. I should shut up. But still, I'm glad to see her cry. If she's going to lead our nation, she needs to take the good and the bad.
"Cheerilee," she says with a not-quite-sob, "I'm so very sorry this is happening to you. You don't deserve it. No one deserves this, these things. And yet... and yet it's happening." She lifts a fetlock to dry her tears.
"This morning I thought about what I should, what I could say to you. I wish I could make it better. I really do. I've done research, trust me. But magic has it's rules, and there's some things I can't change."
I never had Twilight as a student, her being raised in Canterlot and all, but I'll always respect her as a fellow academic. She's always been devoted to her studies as much as I've been devoted to my students.
"However," she continues, "I do have a story for you. I'd like to deliver a report on purpose. Maybe it will help."
Maybe. I make no motion to interrupt her, so she begins.
"Seven, no, eight years ago, I became friends with an unlikely group of mares, and together, we were chosen by the magic of this world to become bearers of the Elements of Harmony. Together, we helped reunite Luna with her sister, purge her of the Nightmare, and save Equestria. We didn't do this because we wanted to, though we would do again in heartbeat if needed, I'm sure. No, we did it because it was our role to play in the grand unfolding of events."
She's in lecture mode now, in the zone. Never change Twilight.
"More misadventures followed, and then one day I accidentally became a princess. Believe me, it was, and still is a great surprise to me, and likely to everyone perhaps save Celestia, because she always seems to know things. But I was again assured by her that I was to play a pivotal role in the... running of? Politics?... Happenings. Let's say happenings of Equestria. I was in over my head, but as the first new alicorn princess in 350 years, I managed to not mess up too badly. Always I was playing my part.
"Even more adventures and misadventures followed. There was the application of Rainbow Power, when I was reassured of my position in Equestria, and the Great Voyage, and the Second Transgenic Symposium, and all the other stories I'm sure you're aware of.
"Of course, through that all, my friends and I have stayed loyal to each other. It hasn't always been easy. In fact, it usually hasn't been easy. But you better believe that's only steeled my resolve to fight for these friendships. As I've grown as a leader, and a pony, I've found more and more that it's love and friendship worth fighting for."
She stops and looks at me expectantly. "And?" I say, raising my eyebrows.
"Cheerilee, I may be a princess, but you are a teacher. You have played a different but just as important role. I've fought for love and friendship. But you've fought for the future."
"I have?"
"Yes, you have. You have made such an amazing impact on countless ponies' lives. You were, are, and will always be a shining star of our community, an exemplar of serving others. We will not forget your contributions. Ever. That is my promise as your princess. You have not lived in vain. That is my message to you."
Now I'm crying. Darn it, I'm not supposed to be crying. I'm a grade school teacher. I'm supposed to be tough as hooves. So why am I asking the princess to hold me, and why is she taking me up on my offer?
Why is she hugging me and whispering, "Cheerilee, you've played your part. Thank you."
I guess that's her job as princess.
"No," I say in between tears, "Twilight Sparkle, thank you."
Author's Note
Further Reading:
Lymphosarcoma in Horses
Equine Cancer Society
Dedicated to my late Uncle Bob. R.I.P.
