Chapters Chapter 1 - Well, that happened
Hey, name's Josh. Or at least, it was. These days, not so much.
See, I was just a normal guy until a few centuries ago. Then some shit went down, and next thing I know I'm stuck in magical horse land. It didn't help that I may have murdered some of them. Okay, a lot of them.
It's a long story.
1,001 years ago
Oh man, there was some sweet stuff at this convention. Some buddies and I had decided that we were going to all go in themed costumes, and I couldn't be happier with what we'd picked. See, we were all pretty big Assassin's Creed fans, and since there were four of us, we'd decided that we'd each go as a different assassin from the games.
Leading the pack was Dave, cosplaying Ezio Auditore. He'd always been the ladies man of the bunch, so it made perfect sense for him to be the flamboyant Italian playboy. He didn't really have anything other than his costume by the way of merch, though, but we planned to fix that at some of the booths.
Behind him, Rob made a pretty imposing Connor Kenway. He was a big guy, standing around six foot ten. He towered over the rest of us, and was therefore the natural choice for Connor, the bulkiest Assassin. His costume was pretty detailed, and he even had the trademark tomahawk.
Trailing behind with me at the back was my best friend Edward, or rather... Edward, I guess. He'd always been the biggest fan of Black Flag when it came out. He'd already cosplayed Edward once or twice, and it showed in his costume. Four replica pistols, two real cutlasses, even a blowpipe. He'd come prepared.
And then there was me.
Walking slightly behind everyone else, head bent down and hands clasped in front of me in the the classic Blend pose, I was the spitting image of Altair Ibn La'Ahad. Ed turned to look at me.
"Hey, man, how's the hand?" He said, grinning. A few months back, when we had decided on our costumes, he'd said that I wouldn't be able to really pull it off. When I'd asked him why, he pointed out that Altair was missing his left ring finger. I'd shrugged it off as no big deal, but later that night the four of us had gotten drunk, and, well...
I have a habit of making bad decisions.
I flexed my hand, showing the stump where my finger used to be.
"I kinda like it, to be honest." I said. "Not like I needed that finger, and it fits the character better. Besides, means that this wasn't a waste." At that, I pushed the button on my wrist, causing my hidden blade to extend. It fit perfectly into the space where my finger used to be. I was the only one who had managed to score a working replica, although it didn't work quite like in the games. Button to extend, but I had to push it back in. I also had a sword at my hip, but I was missing the dagger and throwing knives.
Edward shook his head. "Whatever, dude. I still think you're crazy for actually doing that."
"Best five hundred dollars I ever won." Ed made to retort, but we were interrupted by Dave shouting at us from ahead.
"Guys, check this out!" We hurried over, and found that Dave had found a stall selling nothing but Assassin's Creed merch. The vendor had swords for Connor and Dave, and hidden blades for everyone but me. He even had the missing dagger I needed to complete my costume. I reached out to take it when he stopped me.
"I see you're truly dedicated to your character. I like that." He said, pointing at my finger stump. "I have a little something especially for you that I think you'll appreciate." I fixed my dagger in its sheath to my back as he ducked behind his table, and came back up with a glass box that contained something that made all four of us whistle in appreciation.
Inside, on a velvet cushion, was the most perfect replica of the Apple of Eden I had ever seen. A sphere of pure gold, marred only by intersecting lines running along it's surface. I knew I had to have it.
"How much?" I heard Ed say.
"Oh, no, I'm not selling it to you." He said. "Only to your friend Altair there. And two-hundred fifty, by the way."
"Sold!" I said. I couldn't get out my wallet fast enough. We exchanged the Apple for the cash, and I proceeded to wave it in Ed's face.
"I knew that money I won off of you would be good for something!" I said, taunting him with the apple.
He groaned in desperation. "Oh, come on! That's so not fair!"
"Yeah, well maybe when you cut off one of your fingers I'll let you hold it for a bit." It was just after I'd said that that the Apple started to glow. I didn't notice, however, as I was too busy revelling in Edward's misery. I only noticed it when it flashed, and everything drained of colour. Time seemed to slow down as I found myself unable to move, stuck staring at Ed. I screamed mentally.
The last thing I saw on Earth was a blinding flash of golden light, and then nothingness.
Canterlot, 1,001 years ago
When I materialised, I stumbled into a bunch of colourful ponies. They weren't ponies in the traditional sense, though. While they were still pony-shaped in the face, and had hooves instead of feet, and some had horns or wings, they were otherwise mostly humanoid. They didn't even have fur, just coloured skin.
I bumped into one of them, and he turned around and saw beneath my hood. He gazed at me for a second, before saying "What's wrong with your face?"
I took exception to that.
It was just supposed to be a punch. But when I'd hit him, my hidden blade extended through my fist and stabbed him in the head. He dropped to the floor, stone dead. Oh man, what the fuck. That wasn't a real blade! I didn't even press the button! After that, his friends had started to panic, and I soon had the guard on my ass. I did what came naturally: Ran like fuck.
Behind me, the guards chased me, and they were gaining by the second. I dashed into an alley, hoping to lose them, but was met with a dead end. I turned around to face my doom, and it was at this point I realised I still had the Apple. I noticed this because it sent a sensation like an electric shock up my arm and into my head. I looked up at the guards again, but this time my vision had shifted.
Everything was blue. Everything except for the guards, that is, who glowed red. Eagle Vision? What the fuck? I thought. I had no time for further contemplation, however, as one of the guards sprang forward with his spear outstretched. My body seemed to move on its own as I unsheathed my dagger from behind my back, dropping the Apple. I parried the guards thrust to the side and slammed my hidden blade into his abdomen. He keeled over.
The guard behind him came at me with a sword next. I ducked under his swing and stabbed my dagger into his hoof, before swinging it upward and slashing his throat, and he too fell. The final guard looked almost ready to crap himself as I stood before him covered in his comrades blood.
He turned to run. I ran up behind him and leapt onto his back, tackling him to the floor and jammed my hidden blade into his neck, severing his spine. I heard a weak mumbling from behind me, and turned to see that the first guard wasn't quite dead yet. I stalked back over to him, flicking some blood off of my hidden blade onto him. I bent to pick up the Apple when I heard him speak.
"Who... who are you?" He gasped. I smiled a little.
"Call me Altair." I said, before I ended his life too.
Author's Note
So, here it is, the first chapter. I know it's not the most original of stories, but I really wanted to write this.
Oh, and if any other LoHAV writers see this, I'm up for crossovers. Just give me a couple chapters to establish what's going on.
Chapter 3 - How the hell did that work?
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. Chapter 4 - The gang's all here!
Present day
Dave, Ed, and I were bored. This was nothing new, we'd been bored for the last few hundred years. We had been slightly less bored than usual though, recently. Just over a year ago, on the date of the summer sun celebration, the sun hadn't risen when it should have. I'd thought this was odd, especially when the moon stayed in the sky for at least a good hour after that. Eventually, it gave way to the sun as normal, leaving the three of us quite puzzled. We eventually learned that Moonbutt, the other princess that was responsible for my imprisonment, had returned from the moon.
A little after that, the Grand Galloping Gala had happened. Normally the three of us passed the time during these events by insulting the rich ponies tat passed by, but this time we'd been too busy laughing. There were these six that just turned the night into a huge fiasco, and we couldn't stop giggling at their antics. In hindsight, it probably wasn't that great but when you're stuck in stone for a thousand years your standards kinda drop.
It wasn't too long after that that the second greatest thing to happen in all our time of imprisonment happened: Discord's escape. He'd been there a few millennia longer than we had, I gathered afterwards. While I didn't care for the chocolate rain much, the notion that one who was sealed in stone could be freed was the best news I'd heard in a thousand years. And so, from then on we waited with baited breath for our chance to be free. The Changeling invasion had seemed promising, but to no avail; we remained statues.
Then, a year after the day the sun didn't rise, something really strange happened: The sun and moon in the sky at the same time. While it had been metal as hell to watch, it didn't really affect us much, so we hadn't bothered with it much.
It was not too long after that that we learned something vital: how Discord managed to free himself in the first place. The Royal sisters were taking a walk through the gardens when they touched on the subject. From my eavesdropping, we learned something. Because they were what sealed him, Discord had been freed when the Elements of Harmony had passed to new wielders. However, that only weakened his prison, as well as ours.
He'd only broken loose because he was an unbelievably powerful magic user, and had constantly been chipping away at his prison from the inside. Even before he managed to free himself entirely, his chaos magic had been seeping through, doing small things like causing ponies to argue and fall out. Us, however, had no magic. We'd need outside assistance.
And it just so happened that we had some.
It was about five hundred years after Dave had shown up. The three of us had been doing nothing much when Ed noticed a fizzing sound again.
Tell me you hear that this time. He said to us.
Yeah, I hear it. Dave said.
Me too. I said.
Suddenly, there was a sound like glass shattering, and in front of us appeared the most wonderful thing I had seen in several centuries.
Rob! Cried the three of us in unison. Rob got to his feet and looked around.
"Well, this isn't comicon." He remarked. He turned around so he was facing our statues and froze. "Woah. Josh? Dave? Edward?" He walked over and put a hand on my shoulder.
Took you long enough. I said, not really to him but to Ed and Dave.
"Waah!" He yelled, jumping back in shock.
Holy shit, I think he heard me! Rob! Rob, can you hear me? I said. Rob looked over at me warily apparently not having heard that last bit. He walked over again and tentatively touched my statue.
Rob, please don't freak out, but it's me, Alta- I mean, Josh.
"Woah." He said. "This is weird. Why are you a statue, Josh?"
I'll explain later. For now, can you get us out of here? I said.
"I can try. What should I do?" He responded.
I figured this out a while ago. With the stoning spell weakened, all you should have to do is smash the statue. I'll probably be released after that.
"Well if you're sure." He said, taking his hand away and backing up a few paces. He took out his tomahawk, stopping a moment to observe that it was now metal and wood instead of plastic. "Here goes nothing."
Taking a running start, he smashed the blunt end of his tomahawk into my chest. The statue crumbled around me, and I fell to my knees, gasping for breath.
"Finally! Oh man, one thousand years in stone and I'm finally free!" I said, grinning ear to ear. I stood up and grabbed Rob in a hug. "Thank you, you beautiful man!"
"Woah, okay, I get it, you're happy to be free." He said. "Calm down. Lets get the other two out, and then we can celebrate tog- Wait, did you say a THOUSAND YEARS?!"
I waved a hand dismissively at him.
"Eh, give or take." I said. "Its a long story. But like you said, lets get these two out and we can tell you the story later." Rob nodded, and we set to work getting the others free. Once we were all out, I got everyone's attention.
"Alright guys, we're finally free. Now, to make sure we stay that way. First, we need to escape the city." And so, we set off through the Canterlot gardens. After only about five minutes of walking, we heard a cry from behind us.
"Call the Princesses! Three of the statues have gone missing."
"Fuck." I said. leading the group around the gardens. Suddenly, we found our progress halted by a small group of guards armed with swords. I immediately took charge.
"Ed, cover me. Rob, Dave, you two stay back." I said, before I ran forward to meet them. They seemed shocked at this, and I pounced on the opportunity.
I leapt onto the one closest to me, driving my hidden blade into his throat. I quickly backpedalled, putting myself out of range of a swing by one of the guards. I drew my sword in my right hand, holding it up for the guards to see.
"So." I said. "Who's first?" I grinned sadistically, having forgotten just how much I loved fighting after my imprisonment. I didn't give them a chance to answer.
I stepped toward the first guard, getting inside his defense and slashing at his throat. He fell to the ground. Another guard took a swing at me, which I parried, sending him to the floor. I drove my sword into the small of his back, ending him. Two guards came at me at once. I dodged the first one's thrust and threw him into his ally, impaling him. I slashed his neck and he went down too.
One of them came at me from behind, and though I dodged his slash it knocked the sword from my hands. I leaned back to dodge his thrust, and slammed my hidden blade into his temple. The last guard came at me from above while I was unprepared, only to be taken out by Edward's guns.
"Thanks." I said to him, retrieving my sword. It was at that point that I noticed Rob and Dave staring at me with their mouths agape. "What? Do I have blood on my face?" I asked.
"Dude... you just killed six trained guards without breaking a sweat." Rob said. "I never knew you could fight like that." Oh yeah, they've never seen me fight before.
"Eh, it was nothing." I said, waving a hand at them as we began to walk through the gardens again. "They're not exactly a challenge. Seems the guard's gone soft over a thousand years. Even back then, they weren't that much of a threat. The bigger problems were the Everfree monsters. Manticores and Cragadiles can pack quite a punch. And even I knew not to mess with a hydra."
I led them to the edge of the cliff at the end of the city. Switching to eagle vision, I saw a faint white glow down below us. Thank fuck, a haybale. I clapped my hands to gain their attention.
"Alright, we're going to jump off of this cliff." Dave and Rob looked confused, while Ed just nodded. He jogged up to the edge and squinted his eyes, looking for his target. I pointed it out to him, and he swan-dived over the edge.
"Holy shit!" Rob said. "Did he just-"
"Leap of Faith." I said. "I don't know how, but it works here. I don't question it. Ed told me that he'd done them a few times while he was free, too." Dave nodded.
"Yeah, I remember. Never thought I'd have to do one myself." He said. He walked up to the edge and looked over. "Where am I aiming?" He asked me. I pointed out the haybale below us, and Dave steeled himself.
"GERONIMOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" He yelled, as he sailed over the edge. Next, Rob stepped up.
"I don't know about this, man." He said. Just then, a group of guards burst from the hedges, though thankfullt there were no pegasi with them.
"No time for that!" I said, seeing the guards. I ran up to Rob and kicked him in the back, sending him over the edge of the cliff. He screamed the entire way down. I span around to face the guards coming up behind me as I walked backwards to the edge.
"Gentlecolts," I said, "You will forever remember this day, as the day that you almost caught Altair Ibn La'Ahad." With those parting words, I let myself fall backwards over the edge of the cliff.
Author's Note
I know I said I was going to make the chapters longer, but fuck it.
Author's Note
Okay, I know that this chapter is really short and ~~mostly~~ entirely filler and it's been far too long but I felt like I needed to get something out. I'm sorry that this chapter took so long for less than 1,000 words but I've been really preoccupied lately. That, coupled with exam season just starting, hasn't left me much time to write. I ~~promise~~ hope that I'll be able to write more next time.
Chapter 5 - Moving on
Canterlot, Present day
I landed in the haybale with a loud thump. Luckily, Ed had had the good sense to get the others out of the haybale before we landed, so we didn't impair each other's landings. Brushing hay off myself, I stood up and looked for my friends, who were sat at the side of the hay. Rob looked pissed.
"You kicked me off of a cliff!" He said.
"Yeah, I was there." I said. "Now then, we obviously can't stay here forever, they'll come looking for us. That cliff faces east, so we need to go... that way!" I said., pointing south of us. I set off walking, the others shrugging and falling in behind me. Rob was still pissed.
"Dude, you can't just kick people off of cliffs." He said.
"Okay, next time I'll shove you." I responded. I caught his look of irritation and sighed. "You wouldn't have jumped by yourself and the guards were on our ass. What was I supposed to do?" He faltered at that.
"Anyway, we should keep moving. They won't take forever to catch up to us." I said, addressing the rest of the group. "We should head to the Everfree, its where I hid out back in my day." Ed paled.
"The Everfree? No way man, that place is bad news." He said. "There were legends about that place back from when I was around, and I can't imagine it's gotten better." I grinned.
"I daresay there were legends, Ed. I started a few of them." The other three looked shocked. "What? You never heard the story of the White Phantom?"
Ed gasped. "That old story was you? Dude, that's pretty fucked up."
"Okay, I feel like we're missing something here." Dave said, walking between us. "First, what's the Everfree, and why's it so bad? Secondly, what's the White Phantom, and why's it so bad?"
"The Everfree is an incredibly old forest in the middle of Equestria. Back when I was free, it was where I kept my base of operations. I wasn't alone back then by the way; I had an order." I explained.
Dave nodded. "Yeah, I remember you telling us about that. Just you and a couple ponies wasn't it?"
"Pretty much." I said. "Anyway, the Everfree was a big hub of chaos magic back then, and I'm guessing it still is now, so the all the flora and fauna are out of whack. As for the White Phantom, well, I didn't exactly have the best of reputations."
"No shit." Ed butted in. "The White Phantom was a legend. A ghostly pony who would kill anyone it came across without mercy. And now it turns out that we knew him."
"Wait, you killed innocent ponies for no reason?" Rob said. "He's right, that is pretty messed up."
"Not for no reason." I said. "I did it to keep them away from my order. And a little bit because it was fun." The other three seemed shocked at my statement.
"You killed... for fun?" Ed said. I snorted derisively.
"Says the pirate." I pointed out.
"Hey, I didn't kill. Yeah, I stole and plundered, but I never killed if I could help it." He said defensively. "I don't mean to sound like Robin Hood or something here, but I stole from the rich and gave to the poor. We may have been pirates, but we weren't evil."
"Oh, implying I was?" I said. "I had a purpose back then, you know, and I plan to carry it on now. I'll tell you about it when we get somewhere safe. But for now, I'll tell you this much..." I spun to face them.
"The Apple wasn't the only Piece I found."
Chapter 6 - Who the fuck are these guys?
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. Chapter 7 - No place like home
Everfree
We'd been walking through the forest without incident, somehow, ever since we'd left the ninjas about half an hour ago. All the walking was starting to wear the other three out, and it really showed.
"Josh," Rob said. "Are we there yet?"
"Does it look like we're there?" I said. "Of course we're not fucking there yet. It's not far though, chill out."
"How much further is 'not far', though?" Dave said.
"We'll be there in about... now." I span on my heel, facing my companions. "We're here."
The others looked around. "I don't see anything." Said Ed. "Are you just pulling our legs?"
"Of course you don't see it." I said. "Wouldn't be much of a hidden base if it wasn't hidden, would it?" I walked over to a seemingly random tree and plunged my hidden blade into it's trunk. The tree bleeped once, before an ethereal voice emanated from it.
Authorisation recognised; Altair Ibn-La'Ahad It said, echoing in our minds. Suddenly, a rune circle appeared underneath my feet.
"Everyone, get in the circle." I said. They complied, and I removed my blade from the tree trunk. The circle flashed, and we found ourselves in an underground cavern.
"Gentlemen, welcome to my hideout." I said. "I'll give you the tour later, but for now I need to check that everything is okay." I left them in the entrance chamber and walked further into my cavernous lair. As I passed the pillars at the entrance, I heard voices from up ahead.
"I'm telling you, the teleporter just activated. Somepony's down here." Said one of them. They sounded young, male. Trottingham, judging by the accent.
"Don't be foolish." Replied another voice. "Nopony's been here in years. There's only the three of us down here, and that's all there'll ever be." This one sounded like an old man. As they passed the corner I was hiding behind, I crept behind them, bashing their heads together before pulling them both into a chokehold, the boy under my right arm and the old man under my left.
"Stay still." I commanded them. "Do exactly as I say and I'l let you live. Resist, and I'll kill you both." The young boy quickly nodded. The old one, however, attempted to elbow me in the ribs. I grunted, more out of surprise than pain, and loosened my grip slightly. He tried to take this opportunity to wriggle free and run for it, but I threw the boy under his hooves as he got loose, tripping him up. I leapt onto his back.
"I warned you." I whispered, before cutting his throat. I stood and walked back over to the boy. As I approached, he looked up at me and gasped. I raised my blade over his face, and he threw his hands up in front of it, in a pitiful attempt to shield himself. I stopped myself from stabbing him just in time, when I noticed something.
"Show me your hand." I said. He raised his hand in front of his face, revealing his missing ring finger. I grinned. It seemed my order had survived all these years. I grasped his hand and lifted him to his hooves.
"Well, this is a surprise." I said. "I hadn't expected you lot to still be around. I trust that you recognise me?" He nodded fervently.
"Altair Ibn-La'Ahad, greatest assassin who ever lived. It's an honour." He said, bowing.
"Yes, it is." I said. I heard footsteps from behind me and turned to face Ed, Dave, and Rob. "Hey guys, turns out my order is still around. At least one of them is, anyway." I turned back to the pony.
"Anyway, give me the info. How many members do we have?"
"Only three, counting you, now that you've killed him." He said, indicating the old man. I facepalmed.
"Shouldn't have gotten my hopes up..." I said. "Well, anyway, show me where this third member is, uh... What's your name?"
"Dodger." He said. "Artful Dodger." Of fucking course it is. I thought. At least now the accent makes sense.
"Well, Dodger, get on with it." I said. We followed him through a series of tunnels, heading deeper into the hideout. Eventually, we came upon a huge door. Dodger knocked three times on it.
"Enter. " Came a deep, rumbling voice from beyond it. Dodger pushed the door open, with no small amount of effort, and led us inside. It was pitch black inside, and just as our eyes were adjusting a large gout of flame sprang up and spun around the edge of the chamber, lighting dozens of torches, and we were able to see who we were standing before.
An enormous white dragon stood before us. Drawing himself up to his full height, he growled menacingly. Ed whipped out his guns, while Dave and Rob backed off slowly.
"So, Dodger, what is it this time? " He said in a voice that sounded like thunder. "And who are they, that you have brought into my sanctum? "
"Ah, shut up." I said. He brought his head down to me.
"Who dares speak to me as such? " He said, blowing a puff of smoke over me. I reached up and took my hood off of my head.
"Why, don't tell me you've forgotten me so soon." I said, looking into one of his gigantic eyes. It took a moment, but eventually a spark of recognition flashed in his eyes.
"...Master?"
Author's Note
So, yeah, kind of a long hiatus. Sorry about that. I took a break while my exams were on and I've been finding it hard to get back into the pattern of writing.
Still, I hope this should tide you over for now.
Chapter 8 - Well, that's a curveball
As the others looked up fearfully at the huge dragon towering above us, I walked over to its face and patted its snout.
"Yep, it's me. It's been a while, hasn't it, Beoran?" I said.
"I had no idea you'd still be alive." He said, lowering his voice to such a volume as it was no longer painful to hear.
"Uh, Altair..." Said Dodger, "How do you know each other?"
"Who, Beoran here? I saved his life as a hatchling." I said, walking back to the others. "He was pretty young, I reckon he had only hatched a few weeks ago. I found him surrounded by a group of timberwolves, which are literally wolves made of timber here." Rob chuckled at the pun.
"He saved me, and adopted me as his apprentice." Beoran said. "Although, I can't imagine at my current age that I'd be much for stealth. Speaking of age, however, how is it you are still around?"
"Sunbitch sealed me in stone." I said. "Same story for Ed and Dave, but Rob only just got here."
"I'm impressed." Said Beoran. "I would've thought you'd have gone mad from boredom by now."
"Actually, we did go mad for a little bit." Dave said.
"But eventually, we got bored of that, too." Ed chimed in.
"Instead, we focused on what we'd do when we got out." I continued. "Namely, revenge on the Princesses. Mainly Sunbutt."
"Sir? What kind of revenge are we talking about?" Dodger said.
"Well, to put it simply - " Dave said, before I cut him off.
"I'm going to feed her her own heart." I deadpanned. Rob paled, Dodger, Ed and Dave grimaced a bit, and Beoran chuckled. "Anyway, I dare say that we won't be able to feed any organs to anyone if all we do is stand around here. Time for action, and also time for getting you all up to speed. Rob and Dave, I'm going to take you two and start training you. Ed, Beoran, and Dodger, bring me our current intel on Canterlot and the Princesses. I want to know what we know about the current state of affairs in Equestria."
With that, I beckoned Rob and Dave to follow me and led them to the training area.
One week later
Training the other three had been a nightmare, but I had finally gotten them to a respectable level of competence at the art of stealth. Rob had advanced most quickly, showing surprising aptitude at all areas I covered, but Dave had largely been a disappointment. He had failed in the stealth exercises especially, the area of training that I held in highest regard.
Dodger had gotten to work quickly. After a few days, he had managed to procure up-to-date maps of all the major cities, including Canterlot. It turned out that we had some contacts outside of the organisation, too, which helped massively. Apparently, some of them knew who I was. A couple of them, upon hearing of my return, had even asked about joining up.
I was having Dave run the obstacle course one day when Dodger approached me with a letter from one of our Canterlot informants.
"Altair? I have something you might want to see." He said. I took the letter from him and began to read it.
Dodger,
I have some information your master should be interested in. On the day after he escaped, I noticed a distinct increase in guard presence around the royal vaults. Figuring this wasn't likely to be a coincidence, I started eavesdropping on them, and learned that they were moving an old artefact to a more secure location. After listening further, one of them started talking about how they had to keep a certain some one from reclaiming it at all costs. Considering that Altair was released the day before this whole thing started, I figured he might be the one they were talking about.
I gave the latter back to him, having read enough.
"Thanks Dodger." I said. "I think I know exactly what this letter is talking about."
"Really, sir?" He said. "What is it?"
"Something I lost to Sunbitch a while back." I said. "Anyway, go and find Rob and Ed. I want them in on this." Dodger nodded and ran off. I walked over to where Dave had just finished his run, checking his time.
"Seven minutes and forty-two seconds, Dave." I said, shaking my head. "Fucking abysmal."
"Fuck you, dude."
Author's Note
THIS STORY IS NOW CANCELLED
Yeah, so, in short: Fuck. This. Story.
I wanted to cancel this a while back but hesitated because it's so popular. Now, however, I haven't updated it for ages and I've barely been working on it at all, to tell the truth. I realise I'll probably never write another story that'll get featured again, let alone 300 favourites, but I just can't bring myself to continue this garbage.
I hate this story at this point.
If you enjoyed this, however, and want to check out more of my work, please read my other much better but less popular story, Through The Fire And Flames . I guarantee it's better than this tripe.
I hope this story burns in downvotes.
Chapter 2 - Think I'll Be Going Now
Author's Note
Wow, I was not expecting this to get featured. Thank you guys so much.
Chapter 2 - Think I'll Be Going Now
750 years ago
Being a statue was boring as fuck. I couldn't move, I couldn't talk, I could only move my eyes a little bit. It wouldn't be as bad if I had a little company. I'd been staring at the same hedges for somewhere close to two hundred and fifty years by my reckoning. Watching passers-by did little to alleviate the boredom. Hardly any stopped to look at my statue, anyway. It didn't even have a plaque on it. In retrospect, that was probably fitting, being an assassin. Anonymity and all that.
"Over here, put him with the other one."
Oh? Looks like I might be getting a new room-mate after all I thought. Slowly, a platoon of guards came into view, wheeling something behind them. At first glance, it looked like any other statue. But as it was turned around, I got a good look at it. I would've gasped if I could.
Edward? I thought. I certainly didn't expect a reply.
Holy shit, Josh? I was dumbstruck. Apparently, the statue spell allows you to talk to other similarly frozen individuals telepathically.
What the fuck are you doing here? I asked him.
Showed up, got on the wrong side of some ponies, accidentally formed a band of pirates-
Wait, what? Pirates?... Well, he is Edward Kenway, sort of.
I'm getting to that. -Got caught, Sunbutt stoned me. What about you?
Same, minus the pirates. Say, you didn't happen to find my Apple, did you?
You still have that?
The guards finished moving Ed onto my podium, positioning him next to me. I had to admit, he had a much cooler pose. Both pistols pointed forward, snarling at some unseen target. He must've been trying to take them down when they blasted him. I'd seen my end coming, so I had stood straight and embraced it. My left hand still dripped with frozen blood from the last kill.
I lost it a couple centuries back.
CENTURIES?! Jesus Christ, dude, how long have you been here?
Depends what you mean. Here in the gardens as a statue, about two hundred and fifty years, give or take. I was free for about a year before that, though.
Wow. Good on you for not going insane from boredom. I'm assuming that the Royal Pain stoned you as well. What did you do to piss her off?
Two Royal Pains, actually. The second one went batshit after I was imprisoned and got sent to the moon. She's there for a thousand years apparently.
Woah, harsh.
Meh, at least she gets a view. I've been staring at those hedges for ages.
Speaking of, just what did you do, Josh?
Call me Altair, it's what I've been going by. As for what I did, well, it's a long story...
1,001 years ago
After I killed the guards, I'd gotten out of there as quick as I could. If I kept my head down, I found that I could pass for one of the ponies at a glance.
Thank fuck they're not normal horses. They'd be impossible to blend with. I figured that after what I'd just done, it'd be best to get out of town.
As I moved through the crowd, realisation hit me like an express train. Holy shit, I just killed someone. Four someones, in fact. I clenched the Apple tighter, and it calmed me a bit. How did I even do that? I've never fought anyone in my life, yet I just took down four trained soldiers. I looked down at the Apple to see that it was still giving off a faint glow. Maybe this helped me? ...Why not, they did crazier things in the games. I tried to run through what I knew of the Apples that had appeared in the series.
Okay, mind control, illusion projection, and physical manipulation. I think those were the basic powers these things had, and it looks like this one is helping me fight, too. I considered this for a short time. The last two I can definitely use to my advantage. Mind control seems just a bit too much like an evil overlord type thing to do.
Looking over my shoulder, I saw a group of guards enter the alley I'd just come from. Shit! I didn't exactly hide the bodies! I sped up my walk, hoping to distance myself from the guards.
Looking back again, I saw a pegasus fly up from where the alley was. He flew out of sight before I could see where he was going, but fairly soon alarm bells began to ring out through the city. Hearing this, the populace flew into a panic. Guards flew overheard ordering people into their homes, and I soon realised that the crowd was thinning out, thus making me much more visible. Luckily, at the moment I just looked like a regular pony with a white mane from above, but when I didn't have a home to go to I'd stick out like a sore thumb.
I raced down another alleyway, hoping to find somewhere I could hide. Eventually, though, I realised just hiding wouldn't do it. They were looking for me now, and with the number of guards they'd deployed it was only a matter of time until I'd be found. I'd have to escape the area altogether. How the fuck am I going to do this? I thought.
I looked down at the Apple in my grasp. ...Illusion projection, eh? I grinned. I think I should test this out. Wary of guards from above, I held up the Apple and focused on projecting an image of myself. The Apple glowed, and I appeared before me. I tried to make it move, and it responded exactly how I wanted it to. Perfect.
I sent the image out of the alley and made it run to the right. I heard a shout, and several guards ran past, chasing it. I smirked and ran to the left.
I had to repeat this trick a few more times, but eventually I managed to get outside the walls without any trouble. It was at that point that I realised the city was halfway up a mountain. As I stood there a moment, taking in the view, I heard a shout from behind me. A pegasus had flown over the walls and spotted me as I paused to admire the scenery. I turned to run again, only to find myself faced with a long drop and a sharp stop.
I turned around, seeing no option other than to fight my way out. As soon as I did, however, the same pegasus slammed into me and knocked me over the edge of the cliff. For a moment, I teetered on the edge, my arms swinging wildly as I tried to regain my balance.
Time seemed to move in slow motion as I went over. A wordless cry escaped my lips as I fell to what I assumed was my end.
