Maybe making cereal isn’t such a bad idea. After all, what is cereal but just a hoof full of ingredients thrown into a bowl with sugar and served with milk? In a way it’s basically a soup, but styled as a desert. Brown Bobby comforted himself with this thought and finally conceded to resulting to just filling a bowl full of honey-glazed granola chunks and filling it with milk. Even he would appreciate this as a cereal, albeit a very chunky one but cereal nonetheless. It was so simple, so basic, and so inherent to the nature of cereal that he had no reason to doubt even Luna, of all ponies, would reject this.

Luna was then served the bowl of granola with milk in a flourished manner. After previous disasters, she closed her eyes and took in the scent of her new meal. As opposed to the unusual faces she would’ve made prior, her cheeks pulled back and the corners of her mouth lifted as she admired the sweet aroma of this new treat. Brown saw this and felt satisfied, finally, that maybe his arduous task was finished for the day.

Luna then sampled the granola, and appeared to be quite content. Once she had finally swallowed she bowed her head in gratitude to her chef. “I commend thee on thine fortitude to find me cereal at this time and I thank thee for thine efforts that I must say have paid off well.”

Brown blushed a bit at this. Thanks were enough, but to be complemented by a princess? Well shucks. “Thank you princess. I am pleased to know that you are satisfied.” And, to illustrate his point whilst showing an inkling of humility, he continued. “Although I must say it wasn’t much, it is mostly granola.”

Luna’s face went expressionless and her eyes looked at Brown with a hidden intensity of anguish and disgust. “I admire you for your bravery but I must admonish you for your insolence.” Stated the princess of the night in a voice as cold as ice.

Brown was very much taken aback by this. Was this a sign Luna was going to become to the malevolent Nightmare Moon again? “I apologize princess, I know not what transgression I have committed!” When in doubt, plead ignorance.

“I know that the laws of Equestria have changed much, but there are certain rules that should never be broken. Murder, thievery, and crimes against all of pony kind must be punished, but worst of all is that you had the audacity to smuggle in the most forbidden of substances: granola!” She stood tall and her alicorn form towered over him. He practically shrunk as he lowered himself closer to the floor as he cowered from the rising voice of the princess.

“I apologize princess, I never meant to offend you! I didn’t know you felt so strongly!” Brown cried out in his terror.

“How could thou not know? I thought history is a subject taught in schools across the nation! All citizens of Equestria must know by now the evils of which this vile material. And it is not I that takes offense to this. Granola is an affront to all of life!”

Brown was scared, confused, and had an upset tummy. But mostly confused. How is it that granola has earned such hatred and scorn from Luna? A normal pony would have contradicted Luna with showing how granola doesn’t do any harm, and that it in fact is a very common food. “I’m very sorry. My school must’ve been filled with incompetent educators for they never taught me of this truth. Please forgive me for my transgression!” Normal ponies aren’t usually in front of a raging moon princess.

Luna looked at the mortal in his cowardly state, and felt a sense of realization of how she must have appeared, storming over this poor soul like some sort of monster. It is this exact thing she tried to stop appearing as except for on Nightmare Night. She stepped back and took a deep breath. It would be best for a princess to handle the situation thoughtfully and considerately after all. “I must apologize, I may have over reacted. Thou art pardoned for thine crime.”

Brown bowed to his most generous and kind princess. “Thank you princess. Could you please tell me why granola is outlawed, though?”

She turned away with eyes closed, as painful memories of false friendship and joy flooded into her. “It was of a time far beyond what most ponies can remember, perhaps even I. A time where fear gripped the land in a talon of insidious evil. It was a time best left forgotten, for even stories of this period in pony history taint the mind and are the origin of the nightmare. It was a time of the Smooze, the Midnight Castle, and Catrina.”

Luna gulped as her body quivered, her mind desperately protecting her from the images that these forsaken names conjured. She continued. “Every pony who remembers it tries to forget, lest their sanity become fractured. However we lost the minds of many ponies for they could not leave the past behind, for in their dining rooms they were left with a cruel reminder of the primordial ponies. For one of the principal foods of the first ponies on the land was also a common food for every Equestrian citizen in the time before I was banished. To prevent further harm arising, we banned the manufacture, sale, distribution, and existence of this food.”

“Granola?”

“Indeed. Granola, Mister Bobby.”

The air was heavy with tension and silence ruled the room until a familiar voice broke out. “I’m a little bit surprised that you’d remember such a thing, sister.”

Brown Bobby turned and bowed to the newly arrived Princess Celestia. “Your highness! Welcome, I’ll have breakfast ready for you right away.”

Celestia smiled sat at the table. “Thank you for the offer, but I think I’ll just have a banana thank you.”

“Right away, your highness.” Brown left the room leaving the two sisters alone.

Luna returned to her seat next to her sister, a blush forming on her cheeks out of the embarrassment of being caught acting in such an outrageous manner. “I suppose thou heard the discussion I had with the chef?”

“Indeed I have, and I believe I must correct you on something.” Celestia’s unique grin began to grow. “You see, a few centuries after you left the stories regarding our past have degraded so much that nopony can remember the gory details. So we lifted the ban on granola.”

Luna cringed at the word as her sister said it. Couple this with the proof of just how absolutely wrong she was to scold the baker and she was feeling pretty down at the moment. Her head hung low and she stared at the table in shame. “I suppose I must apologize to the baker. But sister, please, do not mention granola again. Though it seems every pony has forgotten, I have not. Please refrain so that I may never be reminded of the squalor that our kind used to live in.”

Brown Bobby entered the room and served Celestia a banana. While a princess would have the delectable fruit served in quite a fashionable way, Brown knew by now that Celestia preferred it unpeeled and practically straight from the bunch. And that was how Celestia got it. Brown held out the banana for her and she held it aloft with her magic. “That shall not be a problem, sister.” Celestia said, unpeeling the banana, already creating yet another one of her schemes. “I shall not say that word.” She ate it.

Later that night Luna was finished with the day and prepared herself for sleep, which is very different from the usual given that she often is busy at night when she oversees the dreams of others. But then again, to hang onto a dream is a very difficult matter, and even when it is done the memories of a dream are vague at best. So she could possibly catch some sleep without much consequence. Equestria can live with a night without dreams.

Luna laid upon her bed, sinking into the soft mattress as though it were a billow of clouds, and allowed it to accept her into its ever frilly folds. She was so tired that as soon as her head would hit the pillow, she would probably go asleep right away. And so she tested this theory, her head laying on top of the pillow, in all of its crunchy, uncomfortable, crust-like interior.
She did not fall asleep. She got angry. Very angry. She immediately sat up and lifted the pillow and looked inside the pillowcase to reveal that it was stuffed with granola! She let out a roar of absolute rage that echoed across Canterlot. This blight against her shall not go unpunished! The culprit of this nefarious deed shall be held accountable! And she knew exactly who it was. Luna left the room and headed towards the bedroom of a certain other alicorn princess.

Celestia was content and comfortable in her room as she looked over past reports provided by her faithful student, Twlight Sparkle. All was peaceful and quiet. But that all changed when Luna burst into the room with a crazed expression and a bag stuffed full of granola. Celestia was not surprised.

“Thou hath trifled with me for the last time! Prepare to die, sister!” And Luna started pelting Celestia with hoof-fulls of granola.

Granola was everywhere, and Celestia was very much dying. Although not from the granola but rather from her sides splitting and a very bad case of the giggles as she rolled around on her bed in a paltry defense against this barrage of sweetened oats. Eventually Luna ran out of granola and just stood in place, breathing very heavily as steam vented through her nostrils. Best. Prank. Ever.

Celestia went on in a hysterical laughing fit before she settled down and strode over to her sister. “Luna, I apologize. I didn’t choose to resist the temptation, but the opportunity was just too great to let go.” She said. Celestia wrapped a hoof around her sister and pulled her close which helped to calm Luna in some minute amount.

“That still was such a cruel trick.”

“I understand. As consolation, I shall clean up any granola left in your room and you may sleep in my bed for the night.”

Celestia pulled away and Luna looked at her face, trying to discern if there was a hint of deceit in it. If Celestia was lying, Luna sure couldn’t tell. “Very well. I shall accept your offer.”

Celestia nodded and left the room. Now alone, Luna hardly had the time to appreciate the peaceful environment before flopping down on the bed in a way that was mostly out of anger more than exhaustion. But, with all that said and done, and the whole matter settled, it’d be best to just lay her head down and get some sleep. And so at last, Luna finally laid her head on the pillow with a crunch that resounded throughout the castle.

She could hear Celestia howling with laughter down the hall already. It seems Luna forgot she was really good at poker.

Author's Note

I am of the firm belief that all stories, even bad ones, are in canon with what they are involved with. Bigfoot exists in real life, Generation 1 is the predecessor to Generation 4.