Luna Just Wants Cereal

Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Such were the sounds that emanated from the kitchen. The source? Brown Bobby was at his wits end. Whether it was a conspiracy developed by ponies or a plot envisioned by some higher power, its end goal of the loss of his livelihood seemed all but nigh. If he couldn’t get the princess her cereal he was sure to be fired, if not banished to some foreign land like Stalliongrad, the sun, or worst: Detrot.

With a final slam he laid his head on the counter in defeat. He wasted far too much of the princess’ time, so there was no escape. He might as well ask her what would she like for her final dish to be served by him. It would ruin the surprise, but it would at least leave a poignant reminder of himself that he would serve even in the collapse of his life. That’d be something to write home about.

Just then he lifted his head up and brought a hoof up to his chin. While that would be unceremonious of him, given that he is noted for his spontaneous and unpredictable meals that all take on some convention of breakfast, it’d be the least he could do. He may as well just head to the shopping district and get a bag of cereal, it’s not like he had anything much to lose if he did. And it’ll be a snowball’s chance in the fire plains if he would send an assistant to do this. They can’t even tell the difference between a chop and a slice, they’d probably come back with a ten pound bag of bologna. And so with a sigh, he stepped back into the dining room to finally accept his final act as the royal breakfast chef.

Taking a stand next to the side of the princess, as though he were some adviser or confidant, he spoke in a shaken though understandable demeanor. “Princess, it seems we have no cereal in the castle. I will head out and get you a bag of whichever you desire.”

Luna was unexpectedly elated. The ability to choose one’s own breakfast twice in one day? How exciting! “Very well. What would you recommend?”

He began to calm down. It seems that he may have overreacted a bit before. If there was a time to act casual, it was now. “Well princess, might I suggest Applejacks? They are quite lovely and full of flavor.”

Luna backed her head away in disgust at this concept. “I dare not! I would not wish to harm a citizen of Equestria, especially one who has such an important duty as the element of honesty.”

If he could cock his head, he would. But it would be impolite to do such in the presence of the princess, and so he continued with his suggestions, each one meeting an equal response of revulsion. “Lucky Charms?”

“I would never! Vagrants and travellers have a difficult enough life without being fed upon adding to that.”

“Golden Grahams?”

“What a ludicrous notion! I would never feast upon that kind woman, especially since I suspect she may have been around since even I was a filly.”

“Wheaties?”

“Ah, I recall that farmer. No, he may be ill tempered but he still deserves life same as any other pony.”

“How about the Cheerios, will you have the Cheerios?”

“Good heavens, no! They are a very respectable family here in Canterlot.”

It seems they were working on two different wavelengths or talking about two entirely separate subjects.

“Princess,” said Brown, who was growing increasingly concerned. “I wish to go and get you breakfast. I do not believe anypony will take offense to what you eat.” He should be dead now for expressing his opinion in front of the princess. Luckily, Luna was as tolerant as her sister.

“I am quite sure that the wonderful citizens of Equestria who have come to welcome me as their princess would appreciate me being a cannibal.”

“Ah, I see we have a misunderstanding.”

“Indeed. It seems as though thou still believe that I am the Nightmare Moon who eats ponies who do not provide her with candy.”

“No princess, I would never. You see, there are a number of different cereals offered any they all have these names.”

“Good heavens, and other ponies eat that?”

“Yes princess. In fact, many ponies eat cereal with these names in the morning, these names belong to some of the most popular cereals.”

“I never knew cannibalism was so widespread!”

Brown Bobby was about to respond when he realized the sheer astounding nature of that last comment. So he was stuck temporarily in a state where his jaw hung open and his mind still processed the idea that the princess was so very very wrong.

After a minute Luna began to look curiously at the stunned Brown. “Art thou alright?” She asked, a bit worried at how he all of a sudden stopped moving.

Luna’s words seemed to snap him out of his confusion for he shook his head clear and managed to get back to his senses. “Oh, yes princess. I shall be back in a moment with your cereal.” And with that he totally bailed out of the castle and headed towards the Canterlot marketplace to finally get some cereal.