I see Pink

by Ron Jeremy Pony

Rating: mature
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Alternate Universe, Human, Anthro, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance
Length: 4164

Order your very own help mate! Fully fuctional, completely reliable, and the moment you touch them they bond with you for life.

I still remember the advertisment like it was yesterday. "Order your very own Help mate! Fully functional, completely reliable, and the moment you touch them they bond with you for life," it had said. Yeah, they do. They bond with their activator with life. They aren't always submissive, but they bond and they care deeper than a normal born ever will. In a lot of ways I'm sorry I ordered her. Not because I don't love her, but because I can't always be with her.

I've shared everything with my sweetheart. My life, my home, and even our children. That was something I had never expected to happen. I honestly had no clue that they could conceive or carry children, but here we are.

(New Cover art by Sketchy Changeling! Huge Thanks to Sketchy for doing this! I think that it turned out pretty decent)

Huge, huge, huge props to L0rd0f7hund3r, Guardian and Babs, and Camlio on doing the collabrative wedding chapter with me. We did it guys! We did it!

Published 2014-04-30 01:50:04 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-01 17:33:40 UTC

Don't Forget Me

I see Pink

Don't Forget me

A Pinkie Pie Romance

There's been weird things happen in the course of history.  No one can argue that strange sights and sounds that have been ushered in by each technological advancement.  Still, one thing that most people consider weird I feel is completely natural.  That's what I share with my wife.  I know that no one really knows what in the holy hell I'm talking about.  What should be so strange about having a wife, right?  Well, imagine if you will that your wife isn't human, but in every emotional way that counts is more human than any other woman ever will be.  Imagine that she's full of energy, innocent, sweet, and willing to do anything for you.  It sounds a little far fetched I know.  Especially with how we humans act toward each other now.

I suppose that I should begin this back at the beginning.  It started fifty years ago after I had finally written a novel that caught on.  I suppose that I owe a good part of my success to Joss Whedon, Gene Roddenberry, and George Lucas.  After all, if it hadn't been for them I wouldn't have the genre of Space Westerns to write in.  Still, following in the footsteps of giants wasn't what I had really planned on, and although my book had a movie deal struck I felt empty.  I had worked so hard to get to this point, and now that I was here I no one to share it with.  I went home, closed my doors, and put on my VR goggles and fired up my computer.  Unlike a lot of writers I didn't use the full immersion software that most computers came out with.  I preferred to keep a little bit of distance from my work.  It became a little to hard to kill off a character if you were sleeping with them.  I had considered doing the full immersion thing, but after I heard about what happened to Samantha Jennings, the author who revived the Harry Potter Series, and created the full spin off of the next generation from JK Rowling's notes...  I firmly decided against it.

I don't know, maybe I was judging her too harshly.  After all, I'm sure it started innocent enough.  Meeting with Albus Potter near the  whomping willow to talk, and slowly the computer picked up on her attraction.  It did exactly what it was supposed to do.  Give her the fantasy she wanted.  I'm sure it felt real, and when it came time she couldn't bare to do anything to hurt Albus.  That's why I kept myself distant.  Instead I moved through the various programs until I reached one of the oldest streaming movie sites on a distant part of the Internet.  I logged into my Netflix account and pulled up My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic.  I had the shows tagged, something Netflix had done in 2016 so that customers could watch their favorite episodes.  I pulled my Pinkie Pie play list and began to watch.

Being a premium member, basically having a monthly charge instead of an annual one, I didn't have to be exposed to commercials every two episodes, but it would pop up the question if I would like to view a commercial during credits.  Most of the time I would click no, but the sight of the avatar for the commercial made me pause.  It was an anthropomorphic pony in a maid outfit.  I clicked the view button and a moment later a bright white screen filled my eyes.

"Imagine that perfect someone, or perhaps you prefer somepony.  Imagine them being ready for you, waiting for you, loving you.  Well friend, imagine no longer.  Vogon Biotech has the answer for you today.  And our answer is simple.  Order your very own Help mate!  Fully functional, completely reliable, and the moment you touch them they bond with you for life.  That's right, they bond with you for life.  How much more perfect can they be?  If you're interested please, click the order button," a disembodied voice said.

I wasn't sure what would happen, if I should really do this or not, but at the worst my computer would suffer and I could get a new one, and at best I wouldn't be bored.  I clicked the button and the screen changed from the white screen to a multicolored psychedelic rainbow.  A moment later a chestnut brown anthropomorphic stallion, with a blond mane,  stepped out and approached me.  I didn't have my haptic gloves on, but I quickly fixed that problem and felt the firm handshake of the digital character.

"Mr. Williams, thank you for choosing Vogon Biotech.  According to our records you are interested in a helpmate.  Our tracking of Netflix has lead us to believe that you are mostly heterosexual," he said.

I studied the stallion for a moment and then shook my head.

"What do you consider mostly heterosexual?" I asked.

"You've viewed a variety of movies and television shows over the last six months.  Most of which are on average considered to be most appealing to the heterosexual market; however, there was a three week period in which you watched several movies aimed directly at the homosexual market.  It is that statistic anomaly which gives the short gap of uncertainty,"  he replied.

I wasn't sure why I was expecting him to state it was because of watching My Little Pony.  Then again, a lot of the reviews for the series had come from heterosexual men for the past twenty years.  So it wasn't that likely that the stallion character would be making a joke.

"Okay, but we're here to talk about a helpmate.  What are you selling exactly?" I asked.

He smiled brightly and snapped his fingers.  We walked, and the entire time I heard the clopping of his hooves on a non existent floor, over to a window that appeared.  He pulled a crushed velvet rope and a drape that was closed on the window pulled away.  There in the window was the entire cast of My Little Pony.  Every single stallion, mare, and filly was present.  He moved his right hand over them and they changed to show their anthropomorphic version.  I had to admit that Vogon had done their homework.  The anthropomorphic versions of the characters held enough of their characteristics to not be off putting, but at the same time it gave them a sort of sexiness that made them far more appealing.

"What we're selling Mr. Williams is a living fantasy.  A living, breathing, fantasy that will not end when you shut off your computer.  It won't disappear when a television show goes off of the air, and it will grow with you.  Think of it Mr. Williams.  Think about what it would mean to have that perfect somepony.  That one special somepony to spend the rest of your life with.  Isn't that something worth considering?" he asked.

I looked and saw Pinkie Pie.  She was standing next to the mane six, but directly on the other side of her was her sisters, her parents, and below her was the cakes and their two foals.  I couldn't help but grin.  I walked toward Pinkie and touched her image.  She transformed into the anthropomorphic version of herself.  Her eyes were closed, her lips slightly open, and she appeared to be breathing.

"How much?" I asked.

"That's always the rub isn't it?  It doesn't matter how much an artist loves their work.  At the end of the day it's about how much money it's worth.  They are twenty-two thousand credits a piece.  It might sound steep, but consider what you are purchasing.  It's not a machine, but a living breathing fantasy.  She will eat, sleep, sweat, and even bleed.  Everything she feels when she wakes up is real.  There is no preprogrammed emotions in her.  Oh, she'll have memories, slightly altered to match her new body, of her world, friends, and family.  Everything ever written by the creators of the show, and of course any of the fan based content you would like us to consider, will be added to her memories.  But beyond that all of her experiences and new memories will be completely of your and her making," he said.

"Okay, I want her.  I want Pinkie Pie," I said.

"Well done sir.  Simply continue to press on her image," he said.

A moment later she glowed pink, her eyes opened, and she smiled brightly.  After that she disappeared.  I looked to see if she was still around, but there was no image of her left.

"What happened?" I asked.

"She's being prepared for you right now.  It takes a two month process to accurately grow and implant her memories.  I should also state that she will be one of a kind.  We here at Vogon pride ourselves of ensuring that our customers get exactly what they are paying for.  You are getting Pinkie Pie, not a Pinkie Pie, but the Pinkie Pie.  There will be no other versions of her made," he said.

"Why hasn't someone else bought any of them?" I asked.

"There are a dozen reasons, and they range from price to uncertainty; however, all of our customers who have bought characters from other television series and movies have had nothing but praises for our work," he said.

"How will she arrive?" I asked.

"She will be arriving in one of our transports.  She will be dressed in one of the suits of clothes you can choose at this time," he said.

He pointed toward a different window and I walked over to it to see two dresses.  One was the candy dress Rarity had made for her for the Grand Galloping Gala, and the other was her can can dress she had wore in Appleloosa during the episode Over a Barrel.  I pushed it and the can can dress disappeared.

"Very good sir, We hope that you will be pleased with her," he said.

He snapped his fingers again and the background changed once more.  This time it wasn't the anthropomorphic stallion standing there, but rather an anthropomorphic Discord.  The god of chaos grinned, and handed me a receipt.

"Take good care of the former Element of Laughter," he said before he disappeared.

I was redirected back to Netflix and the next tagged episode of My Little Pony Friendship is Magic started.  I stopped it, took my goggles and haptic gloves off and looked around my home.  I had two months of loneliness to deal with, and then perhaps things would change.  I decided to be productive and when I wasn't writing I was cleaning.  I was surprised at how disorganized my house had become, but then again I had been a bachelor for years at this point.  There wasn't much of a need to clean and be really organized, with the exception of my writing room, and that had to change.

Week one was spent on the spare bedroom.  It went from being a simple storage room into being an actual spare bedroom.  I got online and rented a storage building at the local storage-plex.  When it asked if I wanted to bring the materials to be stored, or if I wanted a team of movers I opted for the movers.  I figured that I could set the boxes out, they picked them up, and that would be that.  Within a couple of hours the team arrived, got the boxes I wanted moved, loaded them, and then left.

Once the room was clean I got online ordered a bed, a nightstand, and a holoprojector television.  I was about to log off when I received an email from Vogon.  It was a simple questionnaire asking if I had any fan based works that I would like included in Pinkie Pie's memory.  I had read some of the fan fiction stories that My Little Pony had inspired over the years.  I instantly threw Cupcakes out.  There was no way in hell that I wanted my Pinkie Pie to be like that.  But I remembered how she had acted in My Little Dashie, My Little Dashie A Sequel, My little Dashie A Threequel, and My Little Dashie Fourth Times the Charm.  Although she hadn't been a main character I felt that it had given her a touch of sweetness that only accented her already sweet nature.  I selected them, and then I thought of Room For Rent.

I wasn't sure how these memories would work, but at the very least I figured that it wouldn't hurt to have a few positive memories for her.  The days passed, and I began to wonder if Vogon had been a scam when the buzzer for my building rung.  I turned on the view screen and standing there on my stoop was Pinkie just as I had seen her on the site.  I pressed the open button and then I walked down the stairwell.

She walked toward me, looking nervous, uncertain, and her mane had straightened out.  I could tell that she was frightened.  I touched her cheek and a small shock passed through me.  Suddenly she looked up at me with confidence.  I wasn't sure what happened, but the next thing I knew she had her arms around me in a tight hug.

"Andy!" she squealed with delight.

Roommates, Buddies, and Sexy Sexy Sexy Chaos

I See Pink

Roomies, buddies, and Sexy Sexy Sexy Chaos

A Pinkie Pie Romance

I brought my permanent house guest up to the Apartment of the old building I lived in.  Unlike most of my now distant family, few friends, and fellow authors I preferred to live in something a bit more twentieth century.  Granted, some of their homes had a few bonuses mine didn’t, such as built in antennas for internet hook ups, and of course they also had access to a small solar power station located in the base of their home.   I really didn’t care about that though.  I had an antenna hooked up to the side of the old building, and the previous owner of the building had put in a generator large enough in the basement to power all of the apartments without trouble.  Since I had bought the building, and saved it from demolition, I more or less had free reign to do what I wanted with it.  Of course I really only used the fourth floor as my home.

“Pinkie, welcome home,” I said.

She walked in and looked around.  I figured now was as good of a time to show her the room I set aside for her.  The anthropomorphic stallion had said she was a living breathing being.  That meant it would be wrong to just take advantage of her, and besides I wanted things to progress naturally.  Part of that was giving her a room for herself.  I led her over to the door of the spare bedroom and opened it.  I heard her gasp, and then she ran forward into what I know most people would have considered a Barbie Pink hell.

I had found the paint on Ebay, ordered it, found the now stapled to the wall balloons on Amazon, and found the streamers and party themed comforter and bed sheets on Overstock.com.  I had tried, exceptionally hard, to model the room after the way I believed she would have enjoyed it.  She ran, her hooves clopping loudly the entire time, from corner to corner looking at the walls, the balloons, the comforter, and finally I simply lost track of her as she became more and more of a blur.

From what I could see Vogon had really done their homework and somehow gotten her to move as fast as Pinkie Pie did on the show.  She almost suddenly appeared in front of me and caught me in a tight hug.

“It’s beautiful!  It looks almost like my room at Sugarcube Corner!   Have you ever been to Sugarcube Corner?  Oh they’ve got great cupcakes, cakes, and almost every other kind of sweets you could ever want!  It tastes so good!” she exclaimed happily.

I felt the air being squeezed out of me by her iron grip hug, and for a moment I wondered if choosing Pinkie Pie was really the smartest move I had ever made.  The moment she released me, and gave me a quick peck on the cheek I decided it was.  She looked over her room again and then she began to shrug out of her clothes.  My eyes became transfixed on her as her pink fur covered body came into view.  I wanted to look away, but there was a darker part of my nature that simply refused to let me turn away or stop looking at the obviously innocent creature being before me.

Finally, I turned and looked toward part of the room she wasn’t in.  It really didn’t matter though. I had seen almost everything.  Her cutie mark on her… Well I couldn’t call that a flank.  It was a remarkably human ass, and one that was beautifully sculpted.  Her pink and curly tail hung down, and she turned to see me looking away.

“Something wrong?” she asked.

I didn’t want to look back at her.  Years of being conditioned to be modest, years of living in a strict Holiness Pentecostal home, and all of it led up to me feeling ashamed of even being undressed long enough to take a shower.  I had broken away when I was eighteen.  I struck out, broke away from the church, from my parents, and from my own sister.  I did it because I couldn’t stand the thought of living and dying according to something that was being pounded into my head over and over again.  I have nothing against faith.  I feel overjoyed for someone to have faith… in anything, but I couldn’t stand the idea of being told that everything about me was evil.  That my thoughts, my body, my everything was evil and only at the end of my life would I find true peace and happiness.

So it was hard to look at this innocent being.  It was perhaps one of the hardest things I could even conceive doing, and then I felt her hands on my cheeks.  She brought me to look at her face.  I could see the pleading eyes, her hair straightening out, and the overall look of sadness covering her.  I could see this, and despite the years of condictioning my parents had put me through I reached out and hugged her.

She returned it, and I could feel the bright smile radiating.  It was strange that I could feel happiness actually rolling off of her.  I broke the hug and smiled sheepishly.

“We tend to wear clothes most of the time here,” I said.

She looked at me a little confused.  I showed her my arm and how compared to most of her body it was mostly hairless.  She took that thought and nodded.  She looked at the dress and then at me again.

“Ummm, I don’t have anything else.  I really didn’t pack very well for this, which is kind of strange since I almost always pack my party cannon, but I didn’t even pack it.  I guess that it’s back home at Sugarcube Corner,” she said.

I looked around at the room and realized that I had made a mistake after all.  I hadn’t bought any clothes for her.  Then I remembered the closet.  I had bought clothes for my little sister, Sarah, in case she decided to break away from our family.  She hadn’t yet, but the clothes I had bought for her was still here.  I opened the closet and looked.  Sarah was a little smaller than Pinkie, but I was certain that some of the clothes would fit.  Pinkie looked at them and in an excited squeal she pulled out a purple tank top, and found a pair of yoga pants that matched.

She pulled the clothes on and grinned brightly at me.

“Who’s clothes are these?” she asked as she calmed down a little.

“They’re my sisters.  She’s… she’s with our family right now,” I said.

“Oh, like a trip?” she asked.

“Not exactly.  My family is extremely conservative, and kind of uptight about things,” I said.

“Oh, that sounds like my mom and dad!  Of course I think that it comes from working on the rock farm.  Mom constantly said that we had to bust the rocks in order to find the crystals and metals that would sale, and we would work all day!  Then my friend Rainbow Dash did her first Sonic Rainboom and when I saw it I knew what I had to do!” she exclaimed.

“Did your parents support you?” I asked.

“Yeah, Daddy called me his little Rose Quartz, and said that he didn’t care what I wanted to be when I grew up he just wanted me to be happy,” she said.

I looked down at the floor.  I had wished that my parents would have been that supportive, but they weren’t.  When I left I was told that I could never come back.  I would never be welcomed.  She touched my cheek again and looked at me.

“What’s wrong?” she asked again.

“I wish that I would have had your parents,” I said.

She looked into my eyes, and then she took me into another hug.  It wasn’t quite the bone crusher she had given me earlier, but it was far more tender.  I felt her rub my back as she held me, and then she slowly led me over to the bed.  I felt her pull me into a sitting position, and then she grasped my hand.

“Don’t ever wish that you are anyone other than you.  Your parents helped make you the pony you are,” she said.

I didn’t know how to respond to that.  I wasn’t sure how to tell her that they made me feel ashamed that I found anyone attractive, or how I was made to feel that I couldn’t express myself.  They had been horrible, to the point of being part of the fundamentalist that refused to live in the outside world.  She touched me again and this time I could see her hair trying to straighten out.  At least it seemed to until her eyes widened and she stood up.  She grabbed my hand, and without another word she pulled me out of the room, out of my apartment building and out to the street.  I knew that she had no idea where anything was at.  She couldn’t know where anything was here, but despite that she made her way toward a small indoor arcade that I didn’t even know existed.

I had started to wonder why more people weren’t freaking out about Pinkie Pie.  After all seeing an anthropomorphic pink party pony would at least raise a couple of eyebrows, but instead no one really batted an eye.  I was confused until we passed someone walking with a member of the Navi from Avatar.  Seeing them, seeing a couple of Wookies, and then seeing an Anthropomorphic Lola Bunny made me realize that Pinkie really wasn’t out of place at all.

We stepped into the building and the cool air-conditioning flooded down on us.  It was a stark contrast to the heat outside, but I only got to feel the direct breeze for a second before I was pulled over to a seat at a table.  She moved, seamlessly, through the crowd until I lost track of her.  A few moments later she came back pulling someone who was holding three bowling pins, then she took off again and soon returned with a girl who holding an accordion, and once more she took off and this time she came back with a confused employee who was holding a cake.   A few seconds later there was a group of confused people and children around us.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“Why it’s an I want to cheer my friend up because he’s blue, and have our first party together PARTY!” she exclaimed.

The atmosphere around us was confused, but soon it slowly it became cheerful.  I watched as the people began laughing, enjoying each other’s company, and with minutes there was music being played.  I felt myself being pulled up out of the seat as the party began to go full swing.  Four hours later I found myself sitting next to Pinkie as she talked to the manager of the arcade.  I had expected the elderly man to be upset, but instead he was more than overjoyed about what she had done.

“I haven’t seen this place so full of people having so much fun in a good long time miss.  Those kids normally just bug each other until they free up the immersion consoles in the back, but this was the first time I’ve seen them out here having fun.  How would you feel about coming to work for me?  I need an energentic event planner, and I can’t think of anyone who would fit the bill better,” he said.

“That would be wonderful!   Oh I’d love to do it!  Can I throw a party like this every day?” she asked.

He nodded.  She got up, hugged me, and then walked out toward the employee area.  The old man stopped me before I could get up.  He smiled a slightly sad smile.  I watched as he rolled up his sleeve and I was met with a tattoo of the mane six on his arm.

“I wasn’t sure that there was too many of us Bronies still around.  You’ve got something magical there.  I’m too old of a man to even consider stepping in, but that’s not what I wanted to tell you anyway.  I’m sure you know that girl needs happiness like we need air, and she freely gives that happiness out.  Don’t let your personal shit keep you from accepting that gift,” he said.

I nodded and watched as he looked toward the doorway.

“Damn…  If I didn’t just hire the most hyperactive pony in all of Equestria,” he said.

A Nigh of Firsts and an Uncertain Morning

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Opened Eyes, New Experiences, and FROSTING!

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Friends, Agents, and Surprises!

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Sweets, Love, and Money Talks

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Meeting Friends and being Exposed

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Family Matters?

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Pinkie to some Pinkamena to others

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Planning on a Perfect Day

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Family Bonding and an Awkward Breakfast

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Joy Unbridled

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Not Married Yet? Welcome to VEGAS!

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What happens in Vegas... Doesn't Always Stay in Vegas

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Everything I ever Wanted

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Princesses, Weddings, and Revelations

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The Life and Times of a Brony or I don't want to miss you

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Remember Remember the Fifth of November

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Sex, Drugs, and Rock N' Roll!

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