Moon Guide My Dreams

He didn’t want to have to admit to it himself. He practically refused. It was wrong, morally wrong, on every level he could think of. But yet...something about all that had happened was slowly starting to make sense. The gears were turning and nothing could stop them. It wasn’t that he wanted to stop, a sick side of him wanted it to be true and to be accepted.

Shining Armor had fallen head over hoof for Princess Luna.

He had come within seconds of falling off the edge towards his warped sense of freedom and yet he chose to run from it. Why? That one question had kept the former captain up ALL night. He had retreated back to his old dorm in the guards area. He knew he needed sleep but sleep would only bring him right back to Luna. He was actually trying to avoid her. Why? Why did he let this happen?

When his eyes could no longer stay open and he could no longer fight, Shining went straight to sleep. But he could not recall of a dream. For once, there was no dream. Once he woke up, everything felt numb. Everything seemed quiet. He had decided to leave sooner rather than later to go to one of the local cafes and just relax. He needed some way to compile his thoughts.

While he sipped on his coffee, his mind began to wander. He thought of the last few days, and the care and affection Luna had shown him outside the dreams. It had made him feel warm, a feeling he had come to miss greatly. She had genuinely cared about his well-being and his feelings. Luna may have been the princess of the night, but her heart glowed like the sun. He could still feel her hands holding his, the joyful, excited look on her face when she had asked if he felt the same as her. Butterflies had fluttered in his stomach then, and they were returning in full force as his imagination began to project what could have been if he’d said yes right then and there.

He saw himself and Luna looking up as the night sky from a balcony tower. He looked over at her dark blue complexion, illuminated softly by the pale moonlight, the glitter of the stars twinkling in her eyes. She looked at him, a shy but loving smile on her face. He gently petted her face, and she blushed slightly, leaning into his hand. His heart could have burst from how adorable she was. He slowly leaned down, intending to kiss her.

OH PLEASE! YOU REALLY THINK THAT CAN HAPPEN?

Shining looked around as the scene began to waver around him. Luna gripped his hand tightly, her eyes turning dark.

“L-Luna?”

LUNA WOULD NEVER DO THIS WITH YOU WHILE I HAVE ANY SAY IN IT!

Luna’s dark blue tone faded away, and a pink one took its place. Her flowing, starry mane turned pink, purple, and yellow, and her loving grin turned to a mocking, self-righteous one.

“Cadence?!”

FOR BETTER OR WORSE, HUSBAND! YOU ARE MINE, SHINING ARMOR, AND NO ONE ELSE WILL EVER HAVE YOU! YOU CAN ONLY STAY WITH ME! YOU ARE MY HUSBAND, NO ONE ELSE’S! YOU BELONG TO ME!!

Shining tried to pull away from her iron grip, but it was useless. Her hand changed into a sort of monstrous claw, gripping him even tighter and pulling him to her now-nightmarish form.

“No!! Let go!!”

YOU ARE MY HUSBAND! YOU WILL REMAIN LOYAL!! LOYAL TO YOUR PRINCESS!!

“Shining?”

Shining flinched, his arm slipping from under him, causing his chin to collide with the table. Wincing and rubbing his chin, he looked up to see one beloved little sister looking at him worriedly.

“Hm?” he peered over to his sister and sighed quietly. “Sorry. You were saying?”

“I was asking if you were alright,” she replied. “You look like you have something really unpleasant on your mind…”

He had debated on lying to his sister but she was a skilled liar spotter. He knew it would be unwise to do so.

“...sis, can I ask ya something?” Shining sat up fully and put his arms on the table. “What if...what if you were in love with someone and felt something for someone you felt you shouldn’t be with? Fantasies, daydreams, that sort of thing?

Twilight looked at him oddly, sitting in the seat across from him. “What do you mean? You’re the one who told me that love is love, no matter who it is, right?”

“Yes. But say you had...thoughts of someone else? Say you were with someone--”

“Shiney?” Twilight interrupted. “You know you can be honest with me about anything, right? Please, tell me what’s going on.”

Shining paused. The last thing he wanted was to upset her but he knew at this point, it was now or in a divorce court.

“...I’m thinking of getting a divorce.” Twilight’s expression didn’t change too much, which caught his attention. “Odd, I thought you would have jumped at those words.”

“Well… to be honest… Cadence came to see me the other day looking for you,” Twi admitted. “Something about the way she was talking seemed off to me. I admit I’m a little surprised by the word divorce, but at the same time, I’m not sure I am fully.”

“What did she say?”

“She was ranting about you not taking your responsibilities seriously enough, and a few other things I’m not sure I care to repeat. Mostly she seemed like she was trying to villainize you, trying to make it sound like you were a bad husband.”

Shining’s ears flattened. “And do you believe it?”

Twilight shook her head. “No. I know you, Shiney, and even if some things have changed since we’ve been apart, I know that the way she was describing you couldn’t be right.”

“A lot of things have changed, Twiley,” he shook his head. “Running a kingdom, trying to keep track of everything, AND trying to keep Cadence happy is draining. I was so happy at the thought but maybe it sounded better on paper. My point is is that she’s become so locked up on the Crystal Empire, I think she’s lost sight of what makes her happy. I take my job seriously as well. But I can’t keep up with running a kingdom 24/7. Relaxing means a lot to me too, you know?”

“I know, believe me I know,” she agreed. “Remember who you you’re talking to, the princess of neurosis. I take things way too seriously sometimes too, but even I know when to step back and take a breather. My friends taught me that, and they still step in when I’m going too far. Have you not been able to with Cadence?”

“Believe me I’ve tried. Why do you think I’m contemplating a divorce? And we have dinner tonight as well, I don’t…” he gasped. “I can’t tell her that. it would break her heart...”

“Then what are you going to do?”

~!~!~!~

Shining adjusted his tie and straightened his jacket. He wanted to at least try to make Cadence happy tonight. No matter how much it was hurting him lately, Cadence was still his wife, and he wanted to believe the mare he had married was still in there somewhere… regardless of what images he had seen in his daydreams today, or feelings he was having for Luna.

Cadence stepped into the room, clearing her throat to get his attention. He turned and saw her in a stunning dress, light blue and shimmery, with her hair done up in a simple but stylish ponytail. He couldn’t help but smile at how lovely she looked.

“Someone looks lovely,” he complimented.

Cadence actually giggled,smiling at him. “ Why thank you, Shining. And you look very handsome in that suit.” She hugged him.

“So now I wonder,” mused Shining. “What happened to all work and no relaxing? I didn’t think you’d actually ask ME out to dinner tonight.”

“Well, maybe I thought about what you said and decided you were right?” she answered. “I don’t want to seem like I don’t listen to you at all, you know?”

She was right and he smiled slightly, nodding. “Right. I picked out a nice restaurant for us. Nothing too expensive though high society loves to line their pockets with bits. Shall we?”

Smiling, she took his arm and the pair departed for their restaurant. For the first time in a while, Shining actually felt comfortable with Cadence. She seemed like she was trying to make a genuine effort. Something still felt slightly off, though he couldn’t put his finger on it, but he paid it no mind, deciding to categorize it as a simple change due to time and previous stress.

After a waiter showed them to their seats and brought them their menus, Cadence finally spoke. “I admit it. I have missed just having a nice little dinner date with you, Shining. This is very nice.”

“Well I figured my wife deserves nothing but the best.” he smiled and chuckled lightly. “At least what I can afford. I’ve actually never been here before but Amity recommended it to me. i just hope the food is as good as it’s worth. 20 dollar steaks might as well have dollar signs grilled onto it.’

Cadence giggled. “Well, you never know, they just might if you ask nicely enough. But I think I’ll just stick to something a little less extravagant. Just some scallops and a side, but this watercress salad appetizer sounds delicious.”

“Just a steak then for me.” he said, licking his lips. “I think I can add some more muscle meat to the bone.”

“Don’t you think you already have enough muscle meat?” Cadence teased.

“Are you complaining? Wasn’t it you who said back in highschool that if I got any studlier it’d be a crime?”

“I stand by that statement,” she replied, putting on a false arrogant tone.

Shining smirked and went back to looking over the menu quietly. After a few more minutes, Cadence spoke up again. “Shining, what changed? We used to be like this all the time. What happened to that?”

He tilted his head up and looked at her. “What do you mean?”

“This. Us just enjoying being together.”

“You haven’t noticed how you’ve been lately? I mean I don’t want to repeat myself but lately you’ve buried yourself into running the Crystal Empire. And every time I’ve tried to drag you away from it, you get angry at me. It’s like the Empire is all you can think about. I’m not as hardcore when it comes to that kind of devotion. If I was, I’d lose sight of everything and who I am. And I don't want to see you suffer losing that side of you that I love more then anything.”

Cadence fell silent, and Shining felt a shift in her mood, even though her expression didn’t change. She looked down at the table for a while before looking back up at him.

“I see,” she said. “Then I’m sorry Shining. I shouldn’t have ignored what you were saying and trying to do. It was what you thought was best, and I’m sorry for not listening.”

Shining raised an eyebrow. That had not sounded sincere at all. In fact, it had sounded borderline patronizing, like she was only saying it to placate him and not because she saw his point.

“Do you understand what I’ve been saying this whole time?” he asked, watching her eyes curiously. “Why now, all of a sudden? Because I mean this. I’ve been worried about you all this time.”

“You don’t need to, Shining,” she said, her eyes still oddly devoid of sincerity. “I prioritize my responsibilities, yes, but it doesn’t mean I’m losing myself to them. I’m sorry for making you think that, and for not being a good wife to you.”

Now he knew something was up. “...you’re just telling me what you want me to hear. You don’t actually mean it do you? I can see it right in your eyes. Was this all just so you could make it look like you meant what you’re saying?”

She blinked, startled for a moment, then frowned. “What are you saying? Of course I mean it!” she protested. “I’m trying to make up for things.”

“Then explain how.” he asked. “How do you want to do that? How are you going to make up for how you’ve been acting?”

“I…” Cadence fell short. She had nothing to say because, in fact, Shining was right. She still thought she was in the right, and she didn’t feel like she owed him any sort of apology at all. The blank look on her face was all the proof that Shining needed.

He sighed quietly and he actually look hurt over this. “...I have a feeling I’m wasting my time then.”

“...what’s it going to take?” she asked. “What’s it going to take to fix things?”

Now or never time. “In all honesty, for you to relax. Genuinely relax. You’re putting far too much pressure on yourself thinking you can run the whole kingdom by yourself. You’ve let everything get dulled out because you think the Empire is that important to you. I understand managing it is tough but it’s not the only reason you have for living. I wanted to help run this with you but not at the cost of our social and marriage life. I want to find that happy balance but you’re not willing to put that much effort into it like I am on THIS side. And...and if this is how the rest of our marriage is going to be I--...then I’d want a divorce.”

“DIVORCE?!” Cadence yelled, drawing almost all the attention in the room to herself. Blushing, she shrank into her chair a bit and remained quiet as everyone returned to what they had been doing. Eventually, she spoke again, much more quietly.

“A divorce? Has it really come to that?” she demanded.

“...yes,” he said, looking like the word itself would hurt him more than her. “I don’t want the Empire to turn you into someone you’re not. I can’t lose you. I love you more than anything in this world but...but you can’t keep doing this or else you’ll burn out and become obsessed with your work and I’ll just become the Prince who works alongside you. Not your husband. And if that’s whats going to happen, I’d rather save myself the heartbreak. Tell me I’m wrong Cadence. Please. Tell me I’m wrong in my mind. Or are you that blind to your work that you wouldn’t care if you lose me?”

“Of course I care if I lose you!” Cadence responded immediately, and this time there was sincerity in her eyes. “I love you too, Shining Armor. That’s why I married you. That’s why I’m at least trying to make things work again. I don’t ever want to lose you.”

“Then why won’t you just relax? Why won’t you just relax and not let your work consume you? Tell me.”

“Because as the ruler of the Crystal Empire, I must always put my people before myself. You know that,” she replied.

He could feel his fists clench with those words. “You’re not the only one doing this though! This is consuming you, can’t you see this?!”

“It would be nice if I didn’t feel like I was the only one doing this…” she muttered, not intending him to hear it. Unfortunately, he did.

“...excuse me? Don’t you dare think for one moment that the Empire means little to me because it doesn’t. Those people, some of them are my friends. I chose to help you because it was my dream to look out for and take care of others. But I took time to get to know them and treat them not like just our subjects but as people that I could trust and talk to. And I’d rather set a good example of what kind of rulers we could be then be uncaring and solely focused on keeping a kingdom running. There is no kingdom if the people there don’t care about us. Because then that leads to anarchy and anarchy leads to revolution, revolution leads to rebellion. Do you really want to be known as the ruler the Empire took down because they thought she didn’t care?”

Cadence was horribly shocked. “Is… is that what you really think of me? You think I don’t care, that I’m just doing what I do because it’s my job? I’m the Princess of Love, Shining! How dare you suggest that I don’t care about my people!”

“Well obviously your work means more to you then me.” And he wanted those words to hurt, to snap her out of her obsession. “Your behavior, your attitude towards me, this whole trip was to relax yet all you view it as is just one big summit, all work, no relaxing. And then you come and patronize me and expect me to believe you care? Don’t lie to me Cadence. You’re wrong. And you need some serious time to think about that otherwise you’re going back to the Crystal Empire alone.”

With that, he stood up and walked out of the room by himself. He was calm on the outside but on the inside he was furious with anger. Furious with the fact she had openly patronized him when he knew he was in the right. Why wouldn’t she see his point of view? Why? Maybe she couldn’t. Maybe she wouldn’t understand. All he knew this time was that he was done. There was nothing left for him to say.

~!~!~!~

Shining stepped into the room he had opted to remain in for the rest of the trip, tossing his suit aside. He was upset and frustrated beyond belief, and he did not want to talk to Cadence now. He was grateful that Luna had offered this room for him to use as long as he pleased.

...Luna.

Shining sighed. That was a whole other can of worms. He still wasn’t fully sure how to handle that situation, as he was still married. And he still wasn’t sure on whether or not he would encounter her again. He couldn't’ avoid her nor could he control his dreams as well as others. If he ran into her again, he didn’t know what would happen. But that’s all he could do at this point: sleep it off. Not even bothering with a shower, he just climbed into bed and, after much tossing and turning, finally fell asleep.

He opened his eyes to find himself in the gardens. He was wearing his dress uniform, and stood under a starry sky. It took him absolutely no time at all to realize it was a dream, and the fact that he was so aware of it made him look around. She had to be here somewhere, without a doubt. Slowly he walked through the garden with no rush or hurry in his gait. He could sense her presence lingering in his subconscious. She had to be here somewhere.

“...hello Shining Armor,” came a reluctant voice from around a corner. Luna stepped into view, wearing a formal gown of midnight blue and black, sparkling with glittery studding along the fabric. She looked apprehensive to say the least.

He turned, facing the voice and remaining hesitant in his posture. “...I thought I sensed you here.”

“I… I apologize,” she said. “I just was making sure you were sleeping well, I promise. I have no ill intentions. Forgive me for intruding.” She turned to leave, but Shining caught her arm. She turned to look at him, surprised.

“Who said I wanted you to leave?” he asked, giving her a reassuring smile.

“You… you were fairly clear when we spoke yesterday,” she answered. “You are indeed a married stallion, and it was foolhardy of me to hold such a selfish hope.”

“I know. And it was rude of me to just walk away.” he let out a light sigh. “But I’m at the point where I just want to stop my heart from aching. I wish to find some relief or some well...moonlight, to guide my dreams. To give me hope. I realize I can’t run from you and that I need you to help me.”

Luna stared at him, caught between shock and hope. “W-What are you saying, Shining Armor?”

There was no hesitation this time. He brought his hands up to her cheeks and brought her into a passionate and loving kiss. This time was different. There was no created illusion, this was the real Luna. Once be broke off the kiss, he kept his gaze locked solely on her mystical eyes.

“Please Luna...help me.”

~!~!~!~

Cadence stood in the halls outside of her bedroom. She had come back from dinner furious and frightened at the same time. It felt like she was truly losing her husband, and she couldn’t let that happen. Not only did she want to keep her Shining Armor, but it would also be very suspect if the Princess of Love couldn’t maintain her own relationship. She had to do something. Obviously directly talking to him was not working, as they always ended up fighting, so perhaps it was time to bring in someone else who could help. Nodding to herself, she turned to head back into her room. That was probably the better idea. She needed someone he would listen to, and it was fairly clear that Twilight was out of the question.

Well, there was always that earth pony guard he was friends with…