Down with tsar Celestia

by Overhans

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Princess Celestia, Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 8830

A marvelous story about adventures of the bestest president around in Equestria.

A marvelous story about adventures of the bestest president around in Equestria.
It is translation of my story. My English is very mediocre, therefore in the text there can be spelling, punctuation, lexical, phraseological and other mistakes. I'm sorry.
The original has been published in November, 2013 and does not comprise political implied sense. At all.

Published 2014-05-16 13:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-16 13:30:01 UTC

Down with tsar Celestia

Building of the second circle line of the Moscow underground has been completed. Russian national team is preparing for the FIFA World Cup. The big asteroid flies by the Earth. The Maya Indians foretell a new end of times. But there was one event which eclipsed all this, namely a presidential election of Russian Federation. Yarned for six years, electorate has a field day. City squares have been filled by meetings and demonstrations. Walls and fences have been stuck entirely by posters with habitual faces and same habitual slogans under them. Web cameras were hang up in polling districts again. Postmen have gone around the bend, when they carried invitations to election to everybody and everyone.

But one warm March morning (thanks to the global warming) on the eve of election day there was absolutely improbable event which has called into question a presidential election in general. All Russian special services have been mobilized, but drain in mass-media, fortunately, has not occurred. Only few humans knew about that.

Dmitry Medvedev, the prime minister of Russia, nervously walked to and fro on Red Square. His tense face spoke, that the head of the government assiduously think about something. Every five minutes he got his iPhone 10 from the pocket and called somebody.

“Have found?” he asked with a hope in his voice.

But each time the premier minister received a negative answer and his face has become more and more gloomy.

Suddenly he has shuddered and has stopped in the middle of the square, having recollected something. After this he has again got iPhone and some cut-away, and has started to dial number written on it.

“Hallo! This is detective agency ‘The Dawn’? It is Dmitry Anatolyevich Medvedev calling to you. Urgently go on the Red Square! I have the business with extreme importance!”

Near an hour later the black car with toned panes has driven onto the square. Guard wanted to stop it, but one pane has dropped and the hand with a certificate was put out before their eyes. Questions did not arise anymore.

Medvedev has seen the car, and his face has brightened up.

“Good morning! Thanks for arrival!” he shook the hand of the person in black jacket who has left his car.

“Anatoly Romanov,” he was being presented. “The private detective. And you Dmitry Medvedev, aren’t you? Then let’s come to point. What happened?”

The prime minister has lowered his voice.

“You should remember that it is the state secret! Nobody should know about it!”

“Don’t worry!” the detective said. “My agency often works with problems like this.”

Medvedev looked around and has been convinced, that they are here alone.

“Putin disappeared,” he said.

Romanov hemmed with astonishment. He didn’t expect something like this.

“Your services cannot cope with it?”

“They already search, but it is ineffectual. We need a help of a professional detective!” Medvedev nervously shook the hands. “Do you understand how it can turn? If we don’t find Putin before the voting day, election will not take place! The country remains without the president! That’s all! The end! An apocalypse in Rus!”

“Calm down, please, Dmitry Anatolyevich! It seems to me, election can perfectly go without one candidate.”

The prime minister has shaken his head.

“It seems only to you. All is more complex! Find Putin, please! The destiny of Russia depends on you!”

“Well, I will undertake this business,” detective said. “But I need more details. Where Putin has been seen last time?”

“If I am not mistaken, it is one of his summer residences near Moscow. My people already there, but they have found nothing. Sorry, but I don’t know more.”

“I think, it’s enough,” the detective has shaken hands with the prime minister. “Now I will go there and try to find out something. See you! Oh! Say the address, please…”

***

Anatoly Romanov's car was pushed in stoppers the second hour, but it was good for him because he could consider the event properly.

So, probably it is most outstanding business for his long career. Of course, there were other interesting affairs. For example, once Anatoly investigated abduction of the Tsar Bell, which has been replaced with a cardboard model for the investigation period not to excite the people. But the disappearance of the president… Well, hardly it will turn out to replace him with a cardboard. Where he could get to? Has left the country? But why? He has election soon! It’s illogically. Maybe he has been kidnapped?

Anatoly imagined how Putin sits in some cellar, adhered to a chair, and nearby there is Zyuganov with a heated iron, who spitefully laughing.

It’s quite probably. Enemies of the president are galore! But a good detective should consider all possible variants. Maybe Putin hides from the Chinese mafia? Or he has fallen into an open hatch, covers of this quite often are stolen and handed over into a meltdown? Guesses, guesses…

At last the car turned from the highway and went straight to cottage settlement where the elite private residence towered over other houses. Having parked a car, Anatoly got out and looked around. Cleanliness and order! At once it is visible, who lives in the settlement! Near an input in a residence people in civilian were on duty. Having seen a certificate, they nodded. Probably, they have been warned in advance.

The detective opened a door, entered to inside and frowned from the luxury which struck in the face. Everywhere marble columns, pictures on walls, antique vases… Only a fountain with champagne is not present. But who knows, what waits for the detective on the top floors.

Anatoly started to research accurately rooms one for another. Furniture was enough, and the detective had to open each case and each shelf, checking them about Putin. He got under sofas and armchairs, put forward boxes of desks, didn’t forget to look in vases. All is useless. At last, having bypassed the house, Anatoly with a deep sigh fell on turned up sofa. Well, to search for Putin in this residence, at least, silly. Deciding to have a rest hour or so, the detective sprawled on the sofa, but sat down back at once, recollecting that the latent video cameras can write down him. He didn't wish to explain why he laid on a presidential sofa.

Suddenly Anatoly’s face brightened up, and he slapped his forehead a palm. Cameras! It’s so easy! He must just look record and find out, what happened with Putin!

The guard room was found on the ground floor near the input. Where was a guard and why nobody has guessed to check up records from cameras is a riddle.

Anatoly sat down facing monitors, and his fingers ran on the keyboard, searching for necessary time. At last the familiar bald spot flashed on the screen. The detective strained, peering into the image. Putin strolled on the second floor. He had a Coca-Cola’s bottle in one hand and chips in other.

“What does he do?” Anatoly murmured.

There was one more person on the screen. It was Medvedev. They spoke about something, before the prime minister waved with a hand and has gone towards a ladder. Further he appeared on other monitors, obviously going to an exit. When the entrance door was closed behind him, Putin on the second floor started to move again. He looked around, grinned, moved his lips, muttering something, and left a shot. Anatoly started to check other monitors, but no Putin has been on them. And he did not appear anymore.

“Something here is not clear!” the detective solved.

He wanted to go to the second floor, but recollected something, rewound record forward and, having found himself lying on the sofa, selected this episode and pressed button “Cut”.

“Now to the point!”

The detective has gone on the second floor and easily calculated a place where there was Putin. So, he went to that corner. Other corridor with a camera begins here, but Putin not appeared there. Means, he was somewhere in this corner. Anatoly started to research it, but here only a small Russian flag was sticking out of a wall.

“So easy!” the detective hemmed.

He pressed the flag, and a piece of wall suddenly moved off. The dark stairs downwards were behind it. Anatoly didn’t know what is it: the underground pass or the bunker. He got a torch from his pocket, switched it on and began to go down. A rectangle of light above gradually decreased and soon disappeared at all. Darkness was condensed.

“Creepily, like in a crypt!” Anatoly whispered.

He was scared more and more after each step. Silence pressed him its dark fingers. The detective suddenly recollected that he does not have any weapon. And what if it is really the Chinese mafia? Anatoly stopped and listened. Silence. He switched a torch off, just in case, and continued to go down. He tried to go with the maximum care, but once he stumbled and has sworn.

At last he seen the light that steamed from the slightly opened door. Quietly having gone down, Anatoly cautiously glanced there. Nobody was in a spacious room. A comfortable armchair stood in the middle of it, and a huge screen hung on an opposite wall. Shelves with boxes for CD lined right and left of the screen.

“A personal video library of the president!” the detective guessed.

When he went before the armchair he stepped on a some oblong object. Looking closer, he saw a remote on a floor. It seems Anatoly casually pressed some button because a sound of a put forward tray of the disk drive was distributed. The detective found it on the bottom panel of the monitor, approached and lighted it the torch. On it there was the disk with an inscription “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic”.

“So,” Anatoly Romanov murmured, “it seems, the business starts to clear up.”

***

This morning Putin had a cheerful mood. Instead of preparing for boring election, he decided to drive to his residence near Moscow and to have a little… rest. What is rest, Putin spoke to nobody. Having arrived in the residence, he, as usual, declared day off to guard, and it, as usual, reacted very positively. But suddenly foolish Medvedev came and started telling something about policy and other nonsense. Putin hardly has got rid of him. Having convinced that he is home alone, Putin grinned:

“At last I can see my liked ponies!”

He left the review of the camera and pressed the secret lever disguised like a flag. Having gone down by the secret ladder in the video library, Putin got the DVD with ponies from a shelf, inserted it into the disk drive and sat down in the armchair, opening a bag with chips. Suddenly instead of cartoon there were rainbow flashes on the screen.

“Well, it is not pleasant to me…” Putin became nervous and… has appeared in Equestria.

But the Russian president realized that not at once. At first he found out that he sat on a floor in a small board shed. Looking around, Putin understood, thanks to numerous drawings on walls, that it is not a shed. It is the Cutie Mark Crusaders’ HQ.

“Interesting, how I got into the cartoon?” Vladimir Vladimirovich thought. “Really Father Frost after all read the letter which I sent him three months ago?! But what a difference? The main thing that my dream came true! Farewell, unwashed Russia! Hi, magic ponies’ land!”

Putin's mouth stretched in a happy smile, but suddenly some sound distracted him from thoughts and the president turned back. Behind his back, having nestled to each other, with the eyes rounded because of horror, foals sat. They, as always, began day with inventing of mode to getting their marks, but their brain storm was interrupted by the strange being that appeared literally from the air.

“Wow!” Putin's eyes began to shine from delight. “It’s real ponies!”

Foals understood this shine absolutely in a different way.

“Now it will eat us!” Applebloom whispered.

“Maybe we will get cutie marks of breakfast?” Sweetie Belle assumed.

The being sat between them and a door therefore they couldn’t escape.

“What we must doing?” yellow earth pony whispered again.

“Don’t worry, I know that,” Scootaloo told. “Help, somepony! Rainbow Dash, help us! Here is the awful monster!”

Blue pegasus, who laid on a cloud nearby, heard her shout.

“Keep, I am going… that is, I am flying!” Dash flew into a window of the HQ and stopped in surprise. She didn't see such being for all her life.

“Whoever you were, I will show you how to offend little foals!” Rainbow rushed to Putin.

But he not for nothing read a heap of fan fictions on “Stories” and knew, how treat very aggressive ponies. He evaded, dexterously caught her tail and started untwisting her.

“You let… me off… or I… kick your…” Dash shouted, trying to hit Putin hoof, but damned centripetal acceleration didn't allow her to make it. Crusaders as in a trance watched this scene, twirling heads in time. At last Putin saw that pegasus absolutely exhausted, slowed down rotation and let off. Dash softly ran into a wall and fell down on a floor.

“My head!” she groaned. “All floats!”

“Well,” Putin wiped sweat from a forehead, “now we can have a civilized dialogue.”

“You can speak?!!” Sweetie Belle asked with astonishment.

“Yes and my words seldom differ from my affairs.”

“You really don’t want to eat us?”

“No, I had already breakfast today,” Putin joked. Usually listeners unanimously and obsequiously grinned after such his jokes, but ponies stared at him with horror again.

“But who is it after all?!” Rainbow Dash rose from a floor. “Children, you wanted to receive cutie marks of demons’ summoners again?”

“No, it appeared itself!”

“Allow to be presented! I am Vladimir Putin, president of the Russian Federation.”

“What such ‘president’?” Sweetie asked.

“Well, it is some like the princess.”

“Princess Putin?” Dash flew up to him and began to inspect. “You were lucky that I am kind today, otherwise I would teach you good manners! How you got here?”

“It is a long story!” Putin decided not to tell them that they live in the cartoon. “I heard about you and your country very much. You don’t mind, if I will live here some time?”

“Probably, you should ask Twilight. She will think up something.”

“Nice! Then let’s go to the library!” Putin said and went to an exit. Surprised Dash followed him.

***

The violet pony stayed at home and composed the letter to Princess Celestia.

“Dear Princess Celestia!” she dictated to the assistant Spike. “Today I learned a very important thing about friendship…”

“Hey, Twilight!” Rainbow Dash shouted, flying in a window. “Guess whom I saw today!”

“Uh… Wanderbolts, probably?” Twilight assumed, knowing about fanatical thirst of her friend for this team of flyers.

“No! I saw the being from a parallel world!”

“What?!” unicorn’s eyes extended with surprise and delight. “Where? How? When? What it? Big? Terrible? Kind? Evil? Reasonable? Not very? Please, don't weary! Tell me all details!”

Dash, having taken enough much pleasure from result of her words, leaned out in a window and shouted:

“Putin! Where you there got stuck! Come on!”

In the next ten seconds Twilight’s absolutely dumbfounded eyes looked at the bald orthograde something which appeared on a threshold.

“Good afternoon, madam Sparkle! I am Vladimir Putin, the president of the Russian Federation. Adrift I appeared in your country and would like to remain here for some time. Will you help me to solve a problem with housing?”

“I… am… probably…”

“Yes, and I too won't refuse a cup of tea,” the Russian president said and busily strode to kitchen by unicorn in the condition close to a faint.

While Putin drank tea in the kitchen, Twilight by means of Spike wrote the new letter and told in it about the unexpected guest. Some time later an answer from the princess came, and she has been very interested and asked Putin to arrive today in Canterlot on a meeting.

“Very well!” Putin said, having read the letter. “I already planned to meet her. But at first, as I said before, I need to be equipped in the town.”

“Oh, certainly!” Twilight nodded. “Go to the notary, we will process necessary documents.”

The notary, elderly pegasus, was surprised very much to the client from the parallel world, but nevertheless he found for him the quite good two-storeyed house in the suburb (Putin didn't agree on one-storeyed at all, referring to his status). After all necessary documents were signed, and the notary handed over a copy to the president. Twilight found out that train goes not soon, and decided to show Ponyville for Putin.

The hearing about a strange being from the other world already bypassed the town, and counter ponies looked at the Russian president not with fear, and with interest.

When they came on “Sweet Apple Acres”, Twilight presented Putin to the Apples.

“Applejack!” she asked. “Show to our guest your applebucking!”

“No problem, sugarcube!” the orange pony placed buckets under a tree, turned and bucked a trunk. Apples fell straight in buckets, filling them to edges.

“Hmm,” Putin thoughtfully said. “The perfect work, but process takes too much time. It is advisable to modernize…”

“Sorry, what?” Twilight asked.

“It is very good acres! Very good!”

Applejack happy smiled and began to load buckets on a cart.

So Putin and Twilight bypassed almost the all Ponyville, having visited “Sugarcube Corner”, boutique “Carousel”, and many other places. And Vladimir Vladimirovich, it seems, liked everyone, and he praised everything, but between times he muttered strange, unfamiliar even Twilight, words among whom, continually, mysterious “modernization” sliped. Even having come to railway station and having seen approaching train with the steam locomotive at the head, Putin nearly began to jump from delight.

“Steam engines! So, pull here wires and start up an electric train with ten cars… And on the station install machines for sale of tickets… And we will even better make the Equestrian Underground…”

“What you mutter every time?” Twilight took an interest.

“Don't pay attention, simply thoughts aloud.”

***

Princess Celestia nervously walked the floor in the room of reception of foreign ambassadors. Excitements of the white alicorn were clear. After all not every day you meet a being from the parallel world, especially, the ruler of the country. Besides, according to the Twilight’s description, mysterious Putin looks very… peculiar.

Steps behind a door interrupted expectations of the princess, and in some seconds Twilight and… someone who is bearing a faint resemblance whether a dragon, whether a diamond dog, differing from them absence of a tail and presence of clothes, entered in the room. Anything repellent was not in his appearance and ruler of Equestria calmed down.

“Hello! My name is the princess Celestia!” she presented herself.

“Vladimir Putin, the president of the Russian Federation” he answered and gave the hand.

Celestia uncertainly extended forward a hoof. Putin seized him and started shaking so that the princess begun to tremble from a horn tip to a tail. Thus he looked round for a search of lenses of television cameras, but, without having found those, became gloomy and let off the frightened alicorn.

“I am very glad to your visit! Come here, please!” Celestia pointed to a chair near a table.

Twilight went to a table too, but Celestia made a sign eyes towards a door for her. Unicorn puzzly stopped, not understanding its sense.

“Twilight, you couldn't… search any mentions of the Russian Federation in the Library of Canterlot?”

“Already run, princess!” she joyfully squeaked, slamming a door behind herself.

“So,” Celestia began, remaining with Putin alone, “tell me in more detail about your country.”

Putin started telling, but a set of words, such as “Uniruses” (probably, some kind of unicorns), “State Duma” and “corruption” were unclear for the princess therefore she continually inserted questions, interesting to her.

“Tell me, you raise the sun and the moon alone or someone helps you?”

“I don't deal with this issue at all. They somehow raise themselves.”

According to Putin, his country has a strong resemblance to the Everfree Forest. Everything there happen by itself, and inhabitants all day just looks some boxes where a president continually appear, telling how it is fine to live in Russia and how it will be fine to live in it in the future.

“And how long you rule?” Celestia asked.

“Fourteen years, in total amount.”

The princess was puzzled.

“What do you mean, in total amount?”

“Well, at first I was a president eight years, but then my place was taken by other person, Dmitry Medvedev…”

“This Medvedev overthrew you?!” Celestia was terrified. She well remembered the day when the spiteful queen Chrysalis almost took Canterlot, pretending to be princess Cadence and sating with love of her future husband Shining Armor. Probably, Medvedev is able to change his appearances and to eat good feelings too. “But powers of good all the same won against he after all, weren’t they?”

Putin indulgently smiled.

“You not correctly understood me. In my country the president can rule only two terms successively. Earlier term lasted only four years, but Medvedev made changes in the legislation, and thanks to him in four years I was elected, but for six years.”

“What do you mean, elected?” Celestia puzzly raised one eyebrow. “Really there is someone is more main than you who elects presidents?”

“Yes,” Vladimir Vladimirovich nodded.

“And who is it?”

Putin significantly raised a finger.

“It is people.”

“What?” now Celestia was absolutely surprised. “You want to tell, what the ruler in your country is elected simple ponies… that is… inhabitants? But it is absurdity!”

“Nobody complains,” Putin answered. “Moreover, election of the ruler takes place in all more or less developed countries of my world. And a monarchy and individual power is survivals of the past.”

“You want to tell that my country is undeveloped?” Celestia's surprise slowly transformed into indignation. “And I am a survival of the past?”

“No, no! I didn't speak such. But on the other hand, you probably understand that it is time to change something.”

“To change? Harmony and prosperity reigns in Equestria thousands years, and only external irritants like Discord break her! Ponies got used to such life, it is pleasant to them when everything around is simple and predictable. And if they have each four years a new princess, they will go crazy, sorry for expression. They love and respect me, but about your people and you I doubt!”

Celestia expected that Putin will jump from a chair, will start shouting spitefully, swinging his strange finiteness. Maybe call the guard, just in case?

But the president, indifferently, sat in a chair, and a hint on rage didn't flash on his face.

“You are absolutely right!” he said. “Really, my people are slightly dissatisfied with me. But it is caused by that I too long was on a post of the president. People were tired of me for these fourteen years. And how much your ponies were tired of you, I even can't present! To admit, I am struck with their improbable patience and intelligence that each time at a meeting with you to fall on knees and to smile.”

“You are wrong!” Celestia too needed all her patience not to break down because of speeches of this person. “Know if in Equestria really this election go, even every year, I all the same would win them!”

Putin understood that he succeeds.

“Perhaps we will check it?”

“You suggest me to hold election?!! Nopony will dare to compete with me!”

“And how about me?” Putin took an interest. “Yes, I am ready to take part in the first election in the history of Equestria!”

“You?!! I don’t wish to upset you, but you can't rule in Equestria, as you aren't its inhabitant at all!”

Putin got some piece of paper from the pocket and shook before a nose of the princess.

“And how about it? The document on a residence! Your student Twilight, by the way, promoted.”

Celestia creaked teeth in rage, but suddenly her face was smoothed.

“Well! I am Celestia, princess of Equestria, rule that in this country election will be held, and winner will rule Equestria…”

“Six years?”

“Eternally! And let it be!”

***

After long and futile searches Twilight left the castle’s library. Behind windows there was an evening, and the full moon hung above the horizon.

“Oh, the princess, probably, becomes angry!” unicorn murmured. “After all I was taken the whole day in library! And when she learns that I found nothing… I am very irresponsible! Yes, let she will punish me! I deserve it!”

And Twilight, full of determination, went along the corridor. Suddenly she stopped, having heard voices round the corner.

“She absolutely left her mind!” the first voice said.

“Hush! I don’t want that somepony heard us!” the second voice whispered.

“But I don't understand why she follows the tastes of this stranger? He is not a pony at all!”

“Listen me, it is not our business! If Celestia wants to spend these election, let she spends! What a difference to us!”

“No, something go wrong with it!” the first voice continued. “There is an opinion that this Putin bewitched her!”

“Nonsense! She just wishes to put this upstart in his place!”

“Whence you know it?”

“One friend told me. He overheard near a door while they talked. No trouble! It is not first time when the princess should to deal with such subjects.”

“All the same, I don't like him!” the first voice didn't calm down. “You see that it will come a bad end…”

Twilight decided what indecently to overhear further, and left from round the corner. She saw two guardians who stand at attention for unexpectedness.

“Who are you?” one of them asked, trying to consider the unicorn in the dark.

“I am Twilight Sparkle. Student of princess Celestia. I go from the library.”

“Well,” one guardian remembered that she is sister of Shining. “Go, Miss Sparkle! And don't walk the late evenings. Dark times is coming…”

“Cease it after all!” another guardian stopped his speech. “Don't pay attention to him, Miss! He reads “Lord of the Horseshoes” too much before a dream.”

The first guardian frowned.

“Excuse me,” Twilight said. “I accidentally heard a part of your conversation. You told something about princess Celestia and the stranger…”

“You don’t know about this?” guardian was surprised. “Celestia spend election in Equestria! All Canterlot speaks only about it!”

“I not absolutely understand…”

“Actually, she and Putin will fight for the power,” the first guardian explained.

“By means of common ponies!” the second guardian added. “But I think you shouldn't worry. Nopony will not vote for this Putin, I am sure!”

Twilight listened and refused to understand the events. Vladimir wants to seize power in Equestria? And Celestia gives him a chance for it? And what if Putin really bewitched her?

“I need to talk to the princess urgently! Where she is?”

“In her rooms, probably,” the first guardian answered. “And if you decide to fight with Putin, Miss Sparkle, you must remember that he is very dangerous!”

But the violet pony already ran along the corridor to rooms of the princess.

“He is very dangerous…” it echoed in her head.

Here the familiar door.

“Princess Celestia!” Twilight shouted, running in rooms.

“Oh, it is my favourite student!” Celestia lay on a bed and reflected about something. “You know, Twilight, I can't understand, whether correctly I acted.”

“It is my fault!” unicorn shouted, almost begining to cry. “I brought him here! I didn't know, how it may end! Tell me, please, he has done something with you? He forced you?”

“No, Twilight. My pride forced me. Now it is late to correct something.”

“No, it is not late! Cancel this foolish election! Let all be as earlier!”

“The word of the princess is the law. Someday you will understand it.”

“Then we should win election!” Twilight firmly said. “And you will win it! All ponies love you! They won't allow Putin to rule themselves!”

Celestia stolidly grinned.

“I always thought that the destiny of Equestrian inhabitants depends on me. But now my destiny depends on them. The life is arranged strange, isn’t it?”

Suddenly a determination appeared on her face.

“It’s enough to wallow!” she shouted, jumping out from a bed. “It is time to teach a good lesson this Putin! He, by the way, explained to me rules of election. Now pre-election campaign begins. Putin will try to convince a pony to vote for him, but we won't sit on our hoofs too! Twilight, I charge you and your friends a responsible task! You have to draw the poster which will agitate ponies to vote for me.”

“Allow to start performance of the task?!” the unicorn joyfully shouted.

“Yes, go.”

***

At half-night friends stayed in Twilight’s library and carried out the task of Celestia. The news from Canterlot were apprehended by them very ambiguously. Fluttershy looked as faced with a dragon. Rainbow Dash declared that she didn't like this Putin at once. But Pinkie liked “the new game which has been invented by Vovanchik” as she called the president. Rarity and Applejack didn't realize the situation too, but they agreed to help too.

At last at daybreak, exhausting some sheets of paper and soiling themselves in paint up to ears, ponies finished the poster. The profile of the princess was represented on it and the motto settled down under her: “Vote for Celestia!”

“In my opinion, it turned out very originally,” Twilight said without a shadow of sarcasm. “Now we will wipe a nose of this Putin!”

“He is ill?” Fluttershy didn't understand. “He deserved it, meanie!”

“We must hang up this one on the most visible place in the town because everypony should see that!” Pinkie shouted, meaning, certainly, the poster, instead of the Russian president.

“Yes, we go!” Twilight magically picked up the poster and left the library.

“WHAT A HAY?!!” she shouted suddenly, forgetting that is indecently to swear.

There was no place to hang up the poster. From everywhere, from each wall, from each fence, from each column and from each tree Vladimir Putin with a menacing look looked at the unicorn. Posters with his image, from small leaflets of the A5 format to huge ten-meter banners, pasted and covered all Poniville.

“What you shout there?” Dash asked, leaving after Twilight. “YOURS HOOF!!! How? Why? When he was in time?!!”

Other ponies left the library too, but their lexicon didn't prompt them the suitable description for seen, therefore they silently stared, having opened their mouths.

Fluttershy, without sustaining a pressing looks of hundreds eyes of Vladimir Vladimirovich, fell to the ground, clasped the head in hoofs, and started to tremble.

“Friends, sad conclusions arise at me,” Twilight said. “I fear this Putin possesses magic force, differently he wouldn't manage to make and hang out all this for one night.”

“Hey, look!” Applejack shouted suddenly. “But what HE does here?”

On some posters Putin was not represented. From there the painfully familiar bearded ugly face of Chaos’s spirit maliciously grinned. Directly under him the strange slogan took place: “It will suffice to suffer!”

Twilight approached to the nearest poster with Discord and started examining it. Suddenly draconequus winked at her and appeared nearby.

“What, it is pleasant? By the way, it isn't strongly noticeable, what I extended a beard on a photo? I want to take more votes.”

“What are you doing here?” Twilight was surprised. “Why you on posters?”

“You think I will miss such exclusive event in the history of Equestria? President Discord! Not bad sounds, huh? At least, it is better, than the Princess Discord.”

“Discord, you promised not to create the evil anymore!” Twilight was indignant. “Help us to win Putin better!”

“No, it is too boring!” he yawned, put a leaflet with his image in Twilight’s teeth and disappeared.

“Don't pay attention!” Dash said. “Now our main problem is Putin. And I probably have an idea or two!”

After these words she dashed in the sky and started flying to and fro, moving clouds.

“What does she do?” Rarity surprised.

At this time the clouds collected Dash developed in a huge inscription: “CELESTIA IS OUR RULER!”

Ponies, which have gone outside, moved their look from posters into the sky, and a smiles appeared on their faces.

On other end of the town in his new house near a window there was Putin and looked on the sky too.

“Not bad, not bad! But pegasi should be axed nevertheless. Instead of them clouds will dispel huge fans which will be replaced subsequently with a…” and Putin completely plunged into his unbridled modernization imagination.

***

So, pre-election race has begun. Six friends went about the town and in every possible way helped different ponies, not forgetting to hint for whom they should vote. But for quite some time now the leader of opposition began to count their moves. Where friends would not go, there Putin already rubbed. He visited foals in hospital, came to school on an open lesson, played a violoncello together with Octavia. But, without Ponyville and Canterlot, he visited also other towns of Equestria. Rainbow even assumed that changelings help him, because so much Putin in different places physically could not be. So it was or not, but election was coming, and troubles for Celestia’s supporters became more and more.

For example, once Applebloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo chained themselves to a statue and unwrapped the poster with an inscription: “Down with tsar Celestia!” When they has been removed therefrom and has been asked, why they did it, foals answered, what just wished to receive their cutiemarks of oppositionists. Who advised them it, remains a riddle.

At last, day of voting has come. Ponyville’s polling district settled down in Putin's house which he kindly gave for these purposes. Six friends came there in the early morning. Spike wanted to go on election too, and Twilight, not wishing to remind him about his age, has thought up a lot of work for a dragon for all day.

Friends entered inside… and stopped on a threshold. Near a wall changelings sat on chairs.

“Oh, no! Enemies in Equestria! Elements of Harmony, attack!” Twilight shouted, preparing to send in changelings a fighting spell.

“Who so loudly shouts there?” Putin asked, going down from the second floor. “Twilight, why you treat so rudely my guests?”

“Guests?!! Not only that you try to seize power in Equestria and you even bring here our sworn enemies!”

“It is not any enemies, it is international observers! They check legitimacy of election. And you if I am not mistaken wanted to attack them. I hope, you will note the fact of this blatant violation?” he addressed to changelings. They joyfully nodded.

Ponies, suspiciously lookingon them, approached to a table and took blank bulletins.

“Here, please!” Putin pointed on booths for voting.

“Why we must go there?” Rainbow hemmed. “It is clear that we will vote for Celestia, and not for you, the old bald stub!”

“I’m… probably… better…” Fluttershy murmured and run into a booth.

At last bulletins have been lowered in a ballot box, and the cheerful ponies left a polling district. Soon other townsponies were crawled there.

“For whom you voted?” they asked each other, leaving the district.

“For Celestia, certainly!”

“And me!”

“Look!” Twilight said to friends. “Nopony in Ponyville does not vote for Putin, and in other towns, probably, too!”

“Yeeeeeah!” Pinkie started to bounce. “Celestia will win! It is an excellent occasion to the party! I just have the super duper huge pie!”

“It will be necessary to carry a slice to Putin that he wasn't upset very much,” the Element of Generosity offered.

“Will manage!” Rainbow said. “After election we will expel him from Equestria! Let him push off in his Fede-some-that!”

Dash remembered till now, how Putin untwisted her, and hated him much more than others. But Twilight inside agreed with her. If Putin will remain in Equestria after election too, he can think up something bad again. But now she would not like to think about it. She and the others waited with impatience for evening when bulletins from all corners of Equestria will be sent in central elective commission of Canterlot and are processed. This commission has been collected from the most impartial ponies of Equestria and it's absolutely all the same to them who will rule.

In the evening the crowd gathered before a Central Electoral Committee building. Many ponies wished to know first results of election. Journalists clicked cameras and wrote down something in the notepads. Twilight with friends was there too. Spike still pouted because he hasn't been allowed to vote in election, but, having arrived in Canterlot, became more cheerful and together with others with impatience waited for results.

At last the door opened, and the chairman of electoral committee Cranky Doodle Donkey came on.

“Dear stallions and mares!” he started to murmur. “Hear the announcement. Now hundred percent of votes processed.”

The crowd strained.

“Now it is possible to sum up election. On last place is the candidate for rulers Discord. He has only one vote…”

“Interestingly, who decided to vote for him?” Twilight hemmed.

Fluttershy silently murmured something and blushed.

“And new ruler of Equestria on the nearest eternity, having sixty three percent of voices…”

Twilight smiled and exchanged glances with friends. She knew whom the donkey names now.

“… is Vladimir Putin!”

To tell, that the gathered ponies were surprised, is difficult. No, they have weren't surprised. They simply stood in a stupor, over and over again trying to comprehend told by a donkey. And he indifferently left into the building, having closed a door.

“I should find the princess urgently!” at last Twilight came to the senses and ran to the castle.

“The princess!” she shouted, rushing in rooms of Celestia. “The Princess! The princess…”

“Twilight, what happens? You look very frightened. And after all I asked to name me the president, instead of the princess!”

On magnificent bed of Celestia, leaning the elbows on mountain of pillows, Putin reclined. In a hand he had a cup with tea from which the president sipped from time to time a drink.

“What are you doing here?!!” dumbfounded Twilight stared at him.

“This is rooms of Equestria’s ruler, and as now the ruler is me, the rooms are mine.”

“But nopony voted for you! How you could take sixty three percent of votes?”

“It is election, my girl. Here all is possible.”

“Where Celestia?! What you have made with her?! Answer!”

“You are noisy today,” Putin picked finger in his ear. “Ex-princess Celestia left the castle. Her present location is not known to me. Oh yeah, when you will find Celestia, come on main square of Canterlot. I will have there a little speech at ten o'clock.”

***

Twilight did already the second circle round the Canterlot, but she not saw Celestia anywhere. Stopping near some bar, unicorn wearily sat down on a roadway.

“Maybe Celestia already left Canterlot”, she solved. “And maybe she left Equestria in general… No! She could not acted thus! But what if Putin lied? What if he holds her in a dungeon?”

Twilight wanted to run back to the castle, but suddenly noticed a familiar multi-coloured mane in a bar window.

In this late hour nopony was in usually noisy the Canterlot’s bar. Not considering the solar princess sitting at a little table with a mug of beer and the barman behind a counter who in a semiunconscious condition poured a new portion for her.

“Why you pour so little?!” Celestia shouted and tossed of a mug. “Fine, give me it… Why you stand again? Pour new! Don’t wor… hic… worry! I have money. At present.”

“Luna, please, let it’s be a dream!” the barman silently muttered, filling the next mug.

“THE PRINCESS?!!” Twilight stopped on a threshold. “What you… How you… Why you…”

“Oh, Twily!” Celestia wearily said. “How are you? Do you heard the news? Putin has beat me…”

“Princess, is impossible for you!” Twilight seized a mug telekinesis and removed from Celestia. “Putin is deceiver and scoundrel! You should fight for the truth!”

“No, my student”, the princess seized a mug too and started to pull it to herself. “I have got tired to fight. Tomorrow I will leave somewhere, in Crystal Empire, or in Zebrica, least to Discord’s horns! Let this Putin rule instead of me, he deserved.”

“What you speak!” Twilight made all magic efforts, but the mug persistently moved to Celestia. “You should not escape! You should face the fears! I have written you so many letters about how it is important to never surrender and how it is important to go to the end for the sake of friends! Together we necessarily will think up something, and spiteful Putin learns how to contact magic of friendship!”

“You are right!” Celestia let off a mug and it, flying above head of Twilight, shattered against a wall. The barman behind a counter sadly sighed. “You help me again, my faithful student! Now I will go and throw out this Putin from Equestria. Where is he?”

“He told that he will have speech on the main square.”

“Then why we wait?” and Celestia, waving her mane, ran to an exit from a bar. Twilight with smile followed her. The barman looked at the filled mug, drunk it at one draught and fainted. Someday he will tell to the grandsons fascinating story about he accustomed to drinking the princess.

***

And in the meantime on main square of Canterlot the stage has been already mounted. The first president of Equestria stood on it and eyed the people. The people were dissatisfied. The people demanded Celestia. But Putin waved the hand, and the crowd calmed down.

“Dear friends!” he begun. “I, first of all, wish to thank all citizens of Equestria who accepted today participation in presidential election. Special thanks, of course, for them who gathered today here, in Canterlot, for all who supports us in each corner of our huge, immense native land…”

“Ah, already the native land!” Twilight murmured. Nopony noticed arrival of she and Celestia, because all looks have been directed on Putin at whom tear ran on a cheek from surplus of feelings.

“I have asked you once: we will win?”

“Ye-e-e-ah!” everypony shouted and exchanged glances in surprise, because they wanted to shout absolutely another thing.

Twilight suddenly felt something. It was some magic, unknown to her and subordinate a consciousness. Unicorn looked at Putin and saw… the lord, the master behind whom she will go though on a world's end. She wished to shout something too, but shook her head, and the delusion was gone. Almost was gone.

“Princess, close your ears! Don’t listen his voice!”

“We have won! We have won the open and fair fight…”

“Putin! Putin! Putin!” everypony started to chant, and Twilight with horror noticed, that Celestia joined them. It was necessary to rescue the princess, but Twilight could not resist Putin's delusions anymore.

“Thanks, friends, thanks!” the president waved a hand and ponies as bewitched eyed his gesture. “We have won the open and fair fight. But it wasn't just presidential election of Equestria. It was very important test for us, for all pony’s people, it was the test for a political maturity, for self-sufficiency, for independence. We have shown that anyone really cannot impose anything to us! Anyone and anything!”

“Resist! Resist!” Twilight shouted to herself, clasping a head by hoofs, but Putin's bewitching voice got directly into a brain.

“We have shown that our ponies really in a condition to easy distinguish desire to novelty, to updating from political provocations which have only one purpose: to disorganize of Equestrian statehood and to usurp the power. People of Equestria have shown today, that such variants, scenarios on our earth shall not pass. They shall not pass!”

“No-o-o!” enthusiastic chorus of voices echoed through Canterlot.

“No-o-o!” Twilight from last forces resisted action of a Putin monologue. “They… shall not pass!”

***

When iPhone of Medvedev has rung, he nearly dropped it for excitement.

“Hallo, it is you, Romanov?”

“Yes, I am,” the prime minister heard Anatoly's voice.

“Have you found him? Have found? Are you? Have found?”

“Uh… almost,” the detective was restive. “Come on his residence, I will explain all to you.”

Already half-hour later Medvedev impatiently went downstairs together with Romanov.

“What a stuff?!” he shouted, having seen the video library. “What for you show me this cinema?! Where is Putin?!!”

“Look,” Anatoly started to explain. “Before becoming a detective, I dreamt to become the physicist and studied at the Moscow institute of…”

“It is very interesting, but where is Putin, I ask you!!!”

“So,” detective continued, “thanks to my physical education I could understand that actually have occurred to the president…”

“And! And what is it?!” Medvedev ran low on patience.

“You heard about an asteroid which is flying by the Earth? I think that electromagnetic fields of this asteroid interacted with a matrix of the big screen, having opened, thereby, a portal into other dimension. Having pulled out the disk from a disk drive, I found out, that it is a popular cartoon serial about small multi-coloured ponies. Having compared these facts, I have drawn a conclusion, that Putin at the moment is in the magic land Equestria.”

“You think, as if I will believe this bosh?” Medvedev twisted a finger at his temple. “Asteroids, portals and magic lands? Do you understand, that election already tomorrow! Not in a month, not in a week. TOMORROW! Russia on the verge of accident, and you here tell any delirium to me! Hey, what you do? I, generally, talk to you…”

The detective inserted a disk into the disk drive and pressed a button on the remote. The screen has been lighted up by iridescent splashes.

“What a…” the prime minister sworn, staring on it. “It is really a portal? All right, we go into your… Ethiopia or as it named, take Putin and back! Yes, by the way, we can return back?”

“For this purpose we take the remote!” Romanov said. “It will open a return portal. Putin couldn't return, because he dropped it. However, there is one problem. Time in another world can run with other speed. It is difficult to tell, how long Putin stayed there.”

Splashes on the screen left its limits, clasping humans, and they disappeared.

“Oh my!” Medvedev exclaimed, having appeared in the middle of some medieval town. “Well, where we must search for Putin?”

“But isn't he gushes on that stage?” Romanov asked.

Medvedev looked back and saw a crowd of some multi-colored dogs and the president above them.

“We have won today,” he selflessly recited, “and thanks to overwhelming support of the overwhelming majority of our voters have gained a clean victory! We will work fairly and tensely. We will achieve successes! And we urge all to unite around interests of our people and our native land…”

“Vladimir Vladimirovich! Vladimir Vladimirovich!” Medvedev shouted, making the way through crowd. “At last we found you!”

“Dmitry Anatolevich?” on a face of Putin there was an extreme surprise. “What are you doing here?”

“You should quit the stage and immediately come back to Russia! Tomorrow your election will begin!”

“What an election?” Putin asked. “It were two weeks ago!”

“Allow, I will explain,” Anatoly said. “The matter is that time in this world run with other speed, than in our…”

“Shut up!” Medvedev hissed at him. “Vladimir Vladimirovich, go!”

“I will not go on your election!” Putin pouted. “I already have won it here! Now I am the president of Equestria! I will live in the castle and rise the sun every day!”

“What a sun!” Medvedev shouted. “Your satellites fall into oceans, and you want to rise the sun! There is enough! Immediately climb down from a stage!”

But Putin only shook his head.

“But how about… Russia?” Medvedev's lips started to tremble. “You don’t love it anymore? But do you remember song that so liked you? From the southern seas to the north polar land our forests and fields were stretched around… Come on, echo! You know words!”

“No, Dmitry Anatolevich,” Putin said. “I will not return. Now my house is here. See these ponies? They elected me their president! They wait for strong decisions from me. I should make so much. To build new comfortable apartments for needy, to stretch a gas pipeline into Crystal Empire, to raise birth rate, to hold the Olympic Games… Look around! This is Equestria, the country of possibilities! Here there is no hunger, illnesses, wars, violence, terror, a mafia, the Chechen Republic and gastarbeiters. But here there is a friendship, honesty, loyalty, generosity… But the most important thing, here there is kindness. And I am happy to be the president of this magnificent country! Forgive me, Dmitry Anatolevich. And you forgive me, the stranger with a foolish hairdress,” he pointed on Romanov. “I stay here.”

“If it is your final decision,” Medvedev said, furtively wiping his eyes, “then we must, probably, leave you. But what I will tell tomorrow morning on the TV? That our president has thrown us? Has changed one country for another? Has left, as the bothered toy? No! I will tell them that Vladimir Putin has gone into space to fight with alien cyborgs-aggressors, and his spaceship has blown up. Damn what a story, but, I hope, they will believe. Our people believe and not in such. But they will not know the truth. The severe truth. We go, Anatoly. It is time to home.”

He turned and started wandering through crowd. Anatoly uncertainly followed him. Ponies saw off them with wet eyes. Suddenly Medvedev stopped. Behind, at first it is silent, and then all the more and more loudly song sounded.

“Russia is sacred our power! Russia is favorite our country!”

Having looked back, the prime minister seen, how Putin goes down from a stage and goes to him.

“The mightiest will and the greatest glory is your nation property for all times!” smiling Medvedev started singing too. “I knew that you will not throw us!”

“Where do I get away from you!” Putin said and turned to ponies. “So, guys, you will be upset not strongly, if I leave you?”

The crowd amicably started shaking heads.

“I hope, princess Celestia will rule you worthily. And now farewell. But after six years my term will end, and I will came to you again! We will arrange new election!”

“Don’t worry,” Anatoly whispered to some violet unicorn. “I counted up, in our world time run to tens times more slowly so you will see Putin not soon!”

Three humans joined hands and disappeared in a rainbow whirlwind. Celestia climbed onto the stage.

“So,” she said, “lets assume, that all this was not, you agree?”

“No!” somepony shouted. “Putin is our president!”

“So, the plan ‘B’!” horn of Celestia was lighted. “Now look at a tip of my horn and you will see cheerful trick!”

Glaring flash lighted up Canterlot and all Equestria. Through pair of minutes the missed ponies dispersed from the square.

“What we did here?” one of them asked another.

“It is like a regular appeal of the princess. I not remember at all that she spoke…”

***

“After all I can’t believe that I am in Russia again!” Putin sighed and flopped into the armchair in front of the screen. “I have already started to get used to these ponies.”

“Listen to me,” Romanov said. “My advice to you: enough to look children's cartoons about fantastic horses! There is a set of good solid films which are not a shame for looking by the Russian president” he turned to Medvedev. “We go, Dmitry. We must talk about payment.”

“Yes, yes, certainly!” Medvedev forgotten that he should pay the detective for services.

When the door was closed behind them, Putin murmured:

“And after all he is right! It’s time to start to look something more seriously than little ponies!” he approached to a shelf and took the disk with name “Winx Club”.

“It is just right for the Russian president!”

Few minutes later Dmitry's head was pushed into the door.

“One moment. Romanov asked to say, that you shouldn't switch the screen on while the asteroid will flight out…”

At this moment he noticed, that there was nobody in the room and the remote laid on a floor alone.

“But he scoffs! It’s like as it is my election will be tomorrow, not him!”