The Adventures of One Prodigal Explorer

They say all men seek immortality.  Imagine my face when I found it.

        You wouldn’t believe how unbearably boring being a statue is.  I mean sure, the constant, suffocating feeling of being unable to move paired with the constant, suffocating feeling of not being able to breathe can keep you on edge for the first couple of years, but after that you just stop caring.  Then, you can only entertain yourself by watching the ponies walk by, completely and blissfully oblivious to your predicament.  That, and counting how many times the birds poop on your head. 386 by the way.  I suppose I should be thankful, though, ‘cause I heard poor old Loony got locked up on the moon, which, I suspect, contains even fewer diversions.  People Ponies have been saying she’s been freed now, but unfortunately the same couldn’t be said for me.        Today’s a special day for a couple of reasons.  It’s my birthday, though I have no idea how old I am at this point.  I’ve learned to keep track of the date by listening in on conversations around me, but I gave up counting the years once I passed 500.  The current number is most likely well over double that, and despite my ability to do the math and calculate the value, I really couldn’t be bothered.  On the other hand, I apparently have extra entertainment today in the form of a rather large group of what sound like children.  Foals, I suppose.  Perhaps part of some field trip, or maybe a camp.  Unfortunately, I couldn’t see them to confirm my suspicions, despite, or perhaps because of, the beautiful side of a hedge that had occupied my vision for the last eternity.  At least I can hear them, though, and that’s better than most of the fairly few visitors who visit the castle’s statue garden.

        I inwardly chuckled at the sounds of arguing and fighting off in the distance.  No doubt they had found the statue of Discord.  I could feel his aura from here, albeit barely, but the compulsion he gives off to cause chaos is very strong, much stronger than my own aura.  I could occasionally inspire someone to go Create something if they got close enough, usually a foot or two on a good day.  But Discord had managed to start the foal equivalent of a drunken bar brawl.  Of course, it’s probably all part of his plan to try and break free.        I was well aware that these prisons weren’t invincible.  Besides the fact that they couldn’t be, I had been chipping away at mine from the moment I was imprisoned.  The petrification spell itself forces the victim to bleed off mana by generating an aura, but on the occasions when I can overwhelm the mental defenses of a “victim”, the burst of energy I get from them accepting my “element” gives me the chance to chip away at the prison itself.  Discord was probably getting a veritable feast of mana from such an overt display of his influence.

        I was only moderately surprised when I felt a burst of chaos magic.  It would probably take me upwards of a million years to break free of my own prison, despite my best efforts, but it made sense that one as powerful as him could do it in much less time.  I’m happy for him; he didn’t really deserve to get locked up.  Still, it doesn’t do much to help me.  Of course, Discord was one of maybe fifteen beings on the planet who knew the counterspell for the prisons, myself included, but I’m doubtful that he would help me.        But apparently my doubts were unfounded.  He appeared in front of me with a flash of gold and a snap, and freed me with another.  I fell to my hands and knees on top of my pedestal taking my first gasping breaths in probably over a millenia.  Eventually, I was able to catch my breath and return to my feet to look him in the eye.        The draconequus gazes back disdainfully, his mismatched arms crossed against his chest.  Although he normally towered over me, the few extra feet afforded to me by the pedestal allow me to match him in height, and both of us waited for the other to speak.        “You know, I could have just left you there, but I didn’t want to leave my good friend hanging like that,” he started.        I glared at him.  “Drop the pretenses, Discord.  I know you didn’t want to free me.  What do you want.”        He pouted, but anyone with eyes could see that it was an act.  “Such hostility from an old comrade?  You wound me.  But fine, I’ll be Honest.  You’ve always been awfully good at stirring up trouble for old Celly, and we both know I’m not long for freedom.  Even now, I’m sure the ponies are rallying themselves to stick me back in that tomb.  But you could slip away, not unnoticed but overlooked amidst the chaos, and be a thorn in the Princess’s side for long after I’m gone again.”        I’m surprised by his invokement of Honesty, an element of Harmony no less, but it does allay my suspicions of deceit.  Still, I feel mildly insulted.  “Is that all I am?  An agent of chaos?  I figured you would have to have ulterior motives in freeing me, but that’s still cold.”        He looked at me grimly.  “I’ve shown you my hand, and you are my ace.  I can’t control what you do - actually, I can, but I won’t - and I’ve already told you what I want you to do.  You owe me, and I hope you repay that debt, but I won’t make you.  I trust you will do what’s necessary.”        I glance away, biting my lip.  He’s right: I owe him in more ways that one.  And even in the old days, I was excellent at getting under people’s feet, particularly the princess’s.  But I still have a mission to take care of, one much more important than causing chaos.  Ultimately, I look back up.  “I’ll probably cause some along the way strife, but I need to find it again, Discord.  You know why, I’m sure.”        He sighs, breaking eye contact and turning his back to me.  “I expected as much.  You were always one of those silly morales.  But I’ll be watching you with interest.”  He lifted his fingers to snap, but hesitated a moment.  “Just… don’t forget about me.  For old time’s sake.”        “For old time’s sake,” I agree as he disappears in a customary golden glow.  For better or worse, I’m free, and need to make the most of it.  I steel myself, turning around, ready to take my first steps in the new world that had forsaken me for so long.