A Lone Knight's Bounty

Today was Thursday, and a large paper was posted on the bulletin board in the Questing halls, it was a magnificent piece of paper, it was nice and white, and no creases, those are hard to find indeed. On it bared writing as magnificent as the very paper, the very intricacy of the curves and dots of the words would make the king of Knightsalot himself shed a tear, it would make wizard misfire spells from their wands, and women question their sexuality for paper. This is truly the greatest paper to ever exist, and it was ruined when the knight tore it off incorrectly, shredding it in two.

Many cried that night.

The Knight, as he is well known as, by what many passerby such as, "Did you see the knight guarding Teds outhouse this morning? What moron!" and "Why is the knight guarding our outhouse?"

Anyway, The Knight tried to put the 2 pieces of paper together, somehow failing miserable four times, a paper cut on the fifth through seventeenth, and later asked the receptionist at the front desk to tape it for him, how she was able to do it in one go is beyond him.

The now pieced together paper was a Bounty Quest, and by the intricacy of the words the knight can't under stand, because background knights can't read or write, it suggested that the Bounty was very dangerous, important, and paid very well.

I mean just look at those zeroes, there's like six and it come with a shiny new sword, you can tell because its shiny and it's in a spiky bubble! The receptionist told the knight that if he didn't question as to why they two people on the paper needed to die, the person who made the quest would pay an extra one million gold. Of course he wasn't paying attention, I mean who would, it's a technically free sword!

The knight asked who they are and the receptionist asked if he's a moron.

The two people on the poster were the Brother Kings of Terria, a horrifically friendly kingdom ten thousand miles to the west, some say they ruled for over a thousand years, other say that they pass on their names and kingdom to people who win a raffle, but what everyone agrees on is that these brothers are gods!

These god brother claim to move the very sky and its true! When the youngest brother grows angry from discovering someone ate their cinnamon roll the sun gets bigger and the heat rises, when the oldest cried when he found out his 5th wife was actually his 2nd, the moon grew as large as the sun, causing oceans to rise, and storms to brew! They say, that the brother became gods when the youngest found a cake under a tree in the winter and invited his older bother for a picnic in the blizzard and the brother refused throwing their only torch at the cake in defiance against sugar, but his missed, igniting the tree instead! They were very warm that blizzard night, and had cake for breakfast! Then a wizard came by and gave them godlike powers.

But our loveable protagonist of a knight wasn't focused on the story, he was too busy eyeing that sword, like fat man eyes a feast, The knight accepted his quest without any thought and began to get ready for tomorrow, ten thousand miles to the Terrian kingdom was very far and he needed a world map in the town hall that happen to be closed on Tuesdays.

The next morning The Knight strapped on his generic iron armor, sheathed his generic iron short sword, equipped the generic round iron shield with no coat of arms, and put his super cool two handed war hammer on his back

The War hammer was one of a kind it had intricate designs from his many battles (3 large toads and a mule), a handle crafted s from his bare hands (it has duct tape everywhere) and a sticker with a barcode at the bottom that does not in anyway say Joe's Bargain Deals.

The knight walked out of his house and began to whistle a tune as he started his 10,000 mile journey towards Terria, but because his helmet was blocking his mouth it sounded more like he was blowing a raspberry, so the knight blew raspberries as he walked along the cobblestone floor, his armor clanking with every step, citizens staring at him with awe.

Actually they weren't even paying attention to him, I mean who would? He's a generic knight, with a generic sword, trying to whistle a generic tune, there was nothing special about him, oh wait, there is! He's the only brave being to accept this highly impossible mission that would possibly kill him in the long run, but that's okay, because he's a generic knight and there's like 50 bajillion of them lying around, so technically no one actually took the quest, for our main character is basically a nobody yet, this Knight is special! Unlike every other generic knight, this knight has something so cool, so amazing, that it'll blow out your reading sphincter. This Knight... has 2 extra... inches on his sword! Yup that's right this knight is packing! Watch out wizards you might have to back up a few steps to not get sliced in half with this python of a sword!

What's that? You thought I meant the war hammer? Don't be an ignoramus, every one practically owns one, its hip his time of year.

Anyway, The Knight walked toward the town hall of Knightsville, where he picked up a map of the wall.

No really, he took the entire world map poster and ripped it off the wall, he's not the sharpest blade on the rack.

With a world map in hand he opened it and marked Terria, by stabbing it with his index finger, leaving a big hole. Now he know where to go! The route to the kingdom however, has many dangers, The Naga of deserts, the Driders in the forests, Minotaurs and Dragons in caves and dungeons, a dangerous path indeed.

It would all be worth it, as long as he gets the shiny new sword, and so, The Knight, our generic bland knight, our Protagonist, started walking toward Terria. Blowing raspberries along the way.