“What are you talking about?” asked Maud Pie. She sat across the table from her boyfriend Tom at Knight to King's Lawn, Ponyville’s busiest and most upscale restaurant. The couple made an odd pair, to be sure – a gray earth pony mare and a very large rock – but the diners of K2KL had seen stranger still. “I’m very dedicated to us. In the dating world, two years is a very long time. What? Sweetheart, I’ve told you a million times that you have no reason to be jealous. They’re just the rocks I work with. How could you question my commitment to you? Why is it so hard for you to trust me?”
Maud listened to Tom’s stance on their relationship and as it went on, it dawned on Maud that she was, in fact, listening to their swan song.
“So you’re breaking up with me?” asked Maud with the same conviction she exhibited when she asked Tom to pass the salt during dinner, a simple request which he adamantly refused to grant. “I can’t believe it; after everything that I’ve done for you. And to think that you’d actually do something as cliche as dump me in a fancy restaurant so as to keep me from causing a scene. If you thought that I would take this calmly, I’m afraid that you were sadly mistaken. Your most humiliating moment begins – now.”
Maud took her napkin in her right forehoof, held it out to her side and turned her wrist, allowing the napkin to fall to the floor.
“I’m only getting started,” said Maud.
She looked at her empty water glass. With no discernible rage whatsoever, she tipped it over with her left forehoof. A single drop of water traversed the length of the glass, made its way over the rim and dripped onto the tablecloth.
“Just remember: you brought this on yourself,” stated Maud.
She stood onto her chair and looked at the other ponies who were all having the enjoyable evening that she should have been having. To embarrass Tom even further, she decided that she would scream. It was juvenile but she was too angry to care. She closed her eyes, inhaled deeply and let loose.
“...Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...”
Nopony gave Maud so much as a glance and she was certain that it was due to how uncomfortable her scream had made them. She deduced that it wouldn’t be long before the restaurant staff asked to leave so she decided to get a few last digs in.
“Hey, everypony,” said Maud at a volume that wasn’t even close to the top of her lungs, ‘My ex-boyfriend is the biggest jerk in all of Equestria. He doesn’t work, he always leaves the toilet seat up and he makes me do all the work in bed.”
Maud stepped down from her chair, opened her saddlebag and placed a small pile of bits on the table to cover their bill. She resented always having to pay for their meals.
“I’m leaving,” said Maud calmly. This was an unprecedented act of cruelty on Maud’s part, for she was fully aware of Tom's mobility issues. “Then I guess you’re stranded. You should have thought about that before you dumped me so far from your place. Who knows, maybe you can find a mare in this restaurant more dedicated than me who can take you home. I’m a free mare again and you’re not my problem anymore.”
Maud walked casually toward the exit and left the restaurant. Tom remained motionless in his seat as the second mare who ever loved him walked out of his life. Only time would tell whether or not dumping Maud was the right move.
The door opened moments later and Maud entered the restaurant. She walked to Tom’s chair and stood beside him. She blinked a few times. Suddenly, she stood on her hind legs and hugged him tenderly.
“I’m sorry,” she said as she closed her eyes and reveled in the warmth of his room temperature body. “Please take me back. My life is empty without you. I’m so sorry about making such a scene. I was so hurt by the thought that you didn’t want me in your life anymore that I couldn’t help but lash out in anger. I know that you feel threatened by the rocks I see at work but you’re the only rock who has my heart. If you could give me just one more chance, I promise that I’ll make it up to you. You will? I’m so happy. Thank you. Let’s go back to your place so we can talk some more.”
Tom had his own ideas about how to make up after an argument. And it didn’t involve much talking. Maud blushed at the suggestion.
“Here?” she asked as she opened her eyes. “In the middle of a restaurant with everypony watching us? Thomas, you naughty boy. I didn’t know you had such a wild streak in you. I’m pretty aroused from you even suggesting we do it in a public place. Yeah, I’m up for it if you’re serious. They can only put us in jail for a night or two for this, right? Hey, if we’re fast enough, we may even get our rocks off before the cops show up. I’ll try to keep my voice down.” Maud puckered her lips and leaned in to kiss Tom when she paused to listen to a concern of Tom’s that needed addressing. “What? No, Mister Worrywart, I didn’t forget to take my earth control pills this morning.”
Maud kissed Tom with a passion that most ponies could easily mistake for a crazy mare making out with a rock. She had come to terms with Tom's sexual limitations early in their relationship and she knew how much he appreciated her efforts in spite of those limitations. She climbed onto the table as nonchalantly as she could and then swiftly scaled Tom. She found her favorite raised protrusion on his surface and she licked and sucked on it until its viscosity was to her liking. She hiked her dress up around her waist, turned around and lowered her pelvis over Tom so that her lower extremities were positioned properly over the moistened protrusion. She then lay her upper body on top of Tom and ground her hips, slowly at first but then more quickly as she gained more confidence.
“Oh, Tommy, baby,” said Maud, closing her eyes as Tom brought her closer to climax. “Oh, you’re so good. Yes. Yes. Oh, Celestia, I’m almost there. Yes. Yes. Yes-Yes-Yes... Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...”
A few sharp creaks sounded out, followed by a thunderous crash. Despite Maud’s body being flooded with pleasure, it was also now racked with pain and her eyes spun from the conflicting sensations. The chair upon which Tom sat had collapsed, unable to support both his and Maud’s weight. The impact caused the waiters and diners in the restaurant to take notice. All eyes were now fixed on Maud and Tom. Shaking off the cobwebs in her mind, Maud looked at the ponies seated at the table in front of her and saw six familiar faces belonging to her sister Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Rarity – Tom’s ex-girlfriend. Most of them had their mouths hanging open in shock over what they had just witnessed – but not Pinkie Pie. She was smiling, happy that her sister was enjoying such a wild and adventurous sex life with a partner she loved.
Tom was speechless as he wrestled with his feelings on his ex witnessing him having sex with another mare. Maud loved it. She knew Tom for the diamond he had always been, both inside and out. Rarity could eat her heart out as far as Maud was concerned.
“Well, at least this can’t get any more awkward,” said Maud.
Just then, the item in Maud’s pocket fell out of a hole that had torn open from the fall. It landed on Tom’s surface and Maud’s jaw dropped when she heard it click against her boyfriend’s body.
It was Boulder.
Boulder was her pet but not in the domestic animal companion sense of the word. Rather, she was his Mistress in a dom/sub relationship, a relationship which Tom was told had come to an end. It might have been easier for Maud to deny that she and Boulder were still up to their old tricks had Boulder not been wearing a leather collar, a vinyl mask and a ball gag.
Maud’s eyes darted from Tom to Boulder to Pinkie Pie, who was so stunned by the drama of the love triangle that had unfolded before her eyes that she had joined her five friends in the Dropped Jaw Society. Her own sister: a two-timer?
Tom held his lack of a tongue, waiting for Maud’s explanation as to why she made love to him while her old flame was hidden inside her pocket the whole time, doing who knows what to himself. Maud knew Tom had a kinky side to him but even he would draw the line at a three-neigh.
“Oh, Celestia,” said Maud in the most apologetic tone she could generate, “Boulder's just a friend, Tom; he means nothing to me, I swear.”