The Fish That was Almost Caught
Discord sat on the edge of the pier. His fishing line swaying in the wind along with his hat. He propped his head up with his paw with a bored expression on his face. He sighed heavily and slumped down.
"When I asked Celestia for something to do, I didn't mean something with the same amount of fun as filing papers."
It was your typical sunny day in this little world of Equestria. Being the god of chaos, Discord was easily bored, with everything. The only way to really entertain him was to, well, spread chaos! Unfortunately, Celestia had banned him from using chaos for evil. To Discord, that was like telling a cat not to purr, or a dog not to bark, or like telling Twilight Sparkle to relax.
Discord watched the still water move the bait up and down in a bobbing motion. The tiny ripples it created seeming to somewhat satisfy the god of chaos, but not enough to cause some trouble.
"I don't see why she had to ban me from using my, talent." Then a thought popped into Discord's head. "But Celestia isn't here right now, is she? If she isn't here to supervise me, then I can spread some chaos right?" Four copies of him appeared and applauded.
"Oooh that is a good one, Discord!" One cheered.
"Brilliant! Truly Brilliant!" Another cheered.
"We don't know how you come up with these great ideas!"
The real Discord took a bow. "Thank you, thank you. It was nothing really." He snapped his fingers and all the copies disappeared.
"Time to make fishing a little more, interesting."
The entity snapped his fingers and a large lawn chair appeared. There were little flags with Twilight, Luna, Celestia, and Cadence on them. The fishing rod was transformed into some weird fusion between Celestia knows what two objects he used. His hands popped off of his arms and grabbed the fishing pole and sat there. Discord laid back and stuck a rather comfortable looking pillow behind his head.
"Now to wait." He frowned. "And wait, and wait, and wait." He frowned harder.
"Waiting is boring! What has a deity got to do to have a little fun around here!?" He fell back into his chair.
"Why did I ever agree to do this?"
Discord was sleeping soundly in his overly large lawn chair. It was quite peaceful, until a paw slapped him awake. It sent his head spinning fast, waking the god of chaos up almost immediately. Discord grabbed his spinning head and glared at the paw.
"What in the name of Celestia are you doing! You're supposed to be fishing for me!" He yelled.
The paw slapped him on the cheek and grabbed his chin. It turned his head to look at the talon struggling to keep the pole out of the water.
"We got a bite!" He smacked the paw away. "Outta my way!"
The paw recovered and shook itself. Then it made a fist and began shaking that fist at the being who knocked it away in the first place, then it simply drooped and rejoined it's partner.
Discord grabbed the pole, along with his two floating hands, and began pulling on it with all their might. Whatever it was, it was heavy!
"Pull! C'mon, put your back into it!" The two hands looked at each other like their master was crazy.
They finally pulled the fish out of the water, only to find out that it was a tiny fish no bigger than a thumb length.
"Really, this is what we had? Really? I can't believe this is what we've been waiting for." He looked into the pound. "This is why people like me don't fish."
Then without warning another thing popped out of the water, except this one was dressed in snorkle gear. Discord gasped in horror, for the thing that jumped out of the water was none other than Pinkie Pie. She had a big grin on her face which only meant one thing, she was about to talk.
"HiyaDiscordwhatchadoingareyoufishingboyIsurelovetofishdon'tyouexceptthisonetimeIaccidentallycutmyfingeronthehookandIwasallsadandstuffbutnowthatyour'rehearewecanfishtogetherandeatthebaittogetherand-"
"Pinkie Pie, will you shut your trap!" He began walking over to the pink pony.
"Why? It's not in the way is it?"
"Not in the way? What in the name of-" There was the sound of a bear trap clamping shut.
"I'm sure there's a word to describe what I'm feeling right now."
"Excruciating pain?" Pinkie suggested.
"Ah, thank you Pinkie."
"No problem." Pinkie smiled and Discord screamed.
"Why in the name of Celestia do you have a bear trap!?" Discord yelled while trying to free himself.
"I always have bear traps ready for use all around Equestria! Discord, you silly filly, didn't you know that already?"
"No my dear Pinkie Pie I did not." He motioned for the two hands to help free him. "Is there anything else I should know?"
"Well, it's a long story."
Discord realized his mistake a moment too late.
"No, Pinkie, I didn't mean." It was too late. Pinkie was already explaining herself in the fastest talking speed possible.
Discord sighed and snapped his fingers. Time came to a standstill, with Pinkie's mouth hanging open.
"Ahem, you're probably enjoying this right now. Yes I'm talking to you reader. If you're enjoying the story so far then la de da good for you! I for one do not find this amusing even for a being who enjoys total chaos. As for you, writer, I demand you find a way to get me out of this situation right now before I go insane and do something we'll both regret."
Discord waited patiently for-
"No, I will not wait patiently. Instead I'll just do this!."
Discord is the greatest god that there is to be. He is better than that of Celestia!
"Much better. Now to fix this mess before I have a migrain. Just need to switch this around, put this here, remove this, and done! Now fellow reader I hope you'll enjoy the rest of this chaotic tale, and you dear writer, don't mess this up!"
Discord snapped his fingers back and the new scene began to play out.
The day was filled with pink clouds raining chocolate milk and the grass was plaid colored with rabbits adorning long legs trampling everything in their path. Discord sat in his chair watching the green water ripple as he began to fish.
"This is so much better."
What Discord doesn't know is that this writer has their own methods of chaos
As Discord sat soundly he heard a ridiculously annoying voice coming into focus, but it wasn't one voice. It sounded like a thousand voices! Discord shot up and watched as thousands of Pinkie Pie's surrounded him, each talking about a different topic. Discord's eye twitched and he yelled.
"WHY! PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF CELESTIA PUT ME BACK IN THE SITUATION I WAS IN BEFORE! ANYTHING BUT HERE!!!"
The paper the words of the story were rewritten to place Discord back in the situation he was in before. Pinkie Pie was explaining herself and Discord was in the bear trap. He sighed thankfully and opened the bear trap to free himself. He looked at Pinkie Pie and sighed. One Pinkie Pie was good enough, and at least it was better than fishing. He sat down in his chair to listen to the pink mare drone on and on about her life.
Celestia placed her quill on the table and sighed peacefully. She enjoyed writing that little tale of randomness and chaos. She then picked up the scroll in her magic and sent it off to the god of chaos himself. She then laughed.
"What? Even I can cause some chaos that may prove too much for chaos itself. Now where did Luna hide my cupcake?"
Celestia walked off with a satisfactory smirk on her face. She'd have to do this again sometime.
After she ate her cupcake.
Author's Note
Got bored.
Got idea.
Wrote Idea.
Result of writing that idea.
Enjoy!
~Xela
