Lost In The Woods

It's been almost three hours, and I still can't seem to find the campsite. Let's face facts:

1)I am lost.

2)I have no water.

and 3)my phone is long since dead.

What's that spell? D-O-O-M. I'm DOOMED. Unless... I hear water.

Thank all that is right with the world I HEAR WATER! WOOHOO! Finally something to... wait... if I drink this straight, I might get one of those crazy parasites like on T.V., I should boil it. Now... where's that lighter? Is it in my front pocket? No. Back Pocket? Indeed. Alright, now I need some kind of fuel. Gas? No. Bark? Let's try bark!

Five grueling minutes later...

Bark. Not very flammable. Got it. Does fruit have water in it? I think so. Let's eat some fruit. I think I see some berries. Hope they're not hallucinogenic or something.

...

Actually, not gonna take my chances. I'll look for...blackberries! At least, I hope they are. >Munch< Yep, these here are grade A blackberries! Great, now for shelter...>Punches nearest tree< OWW! Note: Minecraft is not the same as real life. This is what I get for trying to "Experience Nature!". Now I'm tired, hungry, cold, and my hand hurts. Welp, look at the bright side Louie... could be worse. I could... what the Hotel Echo Lima Lima? Those, my friend, are some kooky flowers! I didn't realize there were such a thing as glowing blue... flowers. Are they radioactive? Is it some kinda chemical reaction? Are they dangerous? I dunno, but they'd be neat at a dinner party! Or a rave! (Not that I go to those... it was a phase.) Wait... I've seen these before. That isn't possible.

That could only m-

Crashing noises in the background<

I'd better say something. "Hello?"

"Huh?" a voice, female, by the sound of it. Mature, but probably not too far into her 20's. (I know. Don't ask how, I just do.)

"Who's there? I'm warning you I have a...Lighter!"

"What? I don't want to hurt you. Calm down. What are you anyway?"

"What do you mean 'what am I' I'm a human being, Homo Sapiens Sapiens, Smartest species on the planet earth."

"What is that supposed to mean?

"It means... wait, are you some kinda talking animal? I mean, if you are then that's okay, but I'd like to know. For reasons."

"Ta-...wait. Oh my, you aren't from here, are you?

"Define 'here'."

"Equestria. That's where you are. More specifically the Everfree Forest."

Oh crap, I've gone and landed myself in some kinda alternate universe.>Turns around<

With ponies. Super.