Welcome To Pony Vale

Good Evening readers, I am Sea Salt and due to the sudden lack of day time our new and beloved queen Nightmare Moon has informed me that I must read you the new laws. Nightmare Moon has assured the station that these rules are firm but fair and after myself reading them I am inclined to agree. Parents are told to make sure your children are aware of the new laws and that they are obeyed. Punishment for disobedience or rebelling will be severe! The new laws are as follows:

1. There will be a mandatory 1 hour moon appreciation session in the middle of town square. During this time ponies are required to bask in the magnificent light of the moon. Ponies are also encouraged to use this time to socialise with others and to make friends.

2. As there is no daylight the ban on clocks has been lifted, every house hold will be provided with a sundial, which will now be called moondials as they will use the light of the moon to tell time.

3. Anypony studying art will now be required once a month to draw the night sky with a star pattern which they find appealing. The winner will have their drawing be used to design the star patterns on the night of the announcement. The losers will have their art burnt, participation is mandatory.

4. There will be a “face your fears” class every night where a randomly selected group of fillies and foals will be sent into Everfree to spend 9 hours there. After this time Mayor Mare’s secret police will rescue the survivors.

5. Everypony will read the book “Why Celestia was an Evil Tyrant” when it is released next June. Since it is illegal for Pony Vale residents to read books Twilight Sparkle, whom is exempt from most of our laws will read it in “Story Time” held in the library every night at 4:00pm.

Our new queen seems to be adapting to her new status rather well, these rules are the first of many that will be provided to all Equestrian residents.

In other news, it appears that Twilight Sparkle has entered the Everfree forest with 5 ponies of an unspecified age. They are now missing presumed dead our hearts go out to their families, sorry for your loss.

Back to local news, the Apple Family have released a statement to inform customers that the pears that refuse to turn back into apples until sunrise, are now on sale and the owners say they are apple flavoured. Much to the disgust of Apple Bloom, Granny Smith also said that:

"We don't wanna, but if these pears don't change back we will have ta change our name"

“I DON’T WANNA BE A PEAR!" says Apple Bloom interrupting us.

We wish the Pear family a lot of luck.

Now a word from our sponsor:

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Drink Colta Cola.”

Ponies have written in concerned that the lack of Sunlight will ruin crops. This is a concerned shared by many ponies including the Pear family. Our new and glorious queen has called a press conference.

“There are spells that allow plants to grow using moonlight, I will give them to you and the unicorns in every town can convert the plant life.”

We tried talking to Big Mac, you know? The Farmer, but we couldn’t get 2 words out of him. More on this story as it develops.

The 5 missing ponies who entered Everfree with Twilight Sparkle have now been identified, they are Pearjack a member of the pear family and their top apple seller, Rainbow Dash from Cloudsdale, Pinkie Pie who practices partying and the dark arts, Rarity a clothes maker in a town where ponies don’t wear clothes and Fluttershy the animal expert. Their families have been notified and Mayor Mare’s secret police are searching for the survivors.

ALL HAIL NIGHTMARE MOON!

Now the weather

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When asked about the new pears and if they were selling well Big Mac, you know? The farmer, said “eeyup” Also Granny Smith told us that the spells used on the farm make the pears taste extra sweet and sales are better than ever. Our beloved and all powerful queen Nightmare Moon has released a notice which mysteriously appeared in the middle of the night at 7:30 am, it states that the Sun tax will be stopped and that, since the whole point of her evil plan was to have ponies enjoy and use the moon, she will not be introducing a moon tax. Farmers are rejoicing at the saving of 45% of their income.

This just in, our beloved queen has been spotted entering Everfree forest obviously to rescue the survivors herself. Isn’t she just wonderful? Nothing could possibly go wrong! Oh no listeners I apologise I have activated the curse of being hopeful, for those who don’t know ‘hope’ is a terrible thing to have as it introduces the idea of change and the council put a curse on anypony who said those words. I am sorry I may have shared the curse with all of you.

Readers, reports are coming in of the sun rising all over Equestria; apparently the 6 missing mares were not dead but instead for reasons beyond the knowledge of this humble reporter, Celestia has returned! I apologise to all those ponies who need to cancel their orders of ‘Why

Celestia was an Evil Tyrant’ and to the farmers who already converted to moonlight.

In an unrelated story Celestia has released a statement, saying that Luna her younger sister and princess of the night, has returned from her vacation by a complete coincidence as soon as Nightmare Moon vanished.

And now readers I leave you with a simple message; while we may think things were better with Nightmare Moon we must remember that these things happen, it is up to us to adapt to them we can't change the world but we can change ourselves.

Good Morning Pony Vale, Good Morning