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It was a grand day in Canterlot.
The sun was shining, the air was crisp and clear, and the happy chirruping of birds singing through the sky filled Canterlot’s maze garden with a serenity that Celestia herself had grown rather accustomed to.
Princess Celestia was smack dab in the middle of appreciating said birds when she happened across something somewhat different than she expected. For example, Celestia had come across some oddities during her occasional morning romp through the maze garden. There had been that incident with the giant slug. There was the time Philomena had accidentally burned half the place down with her belches (after numerous ‘experts’ had informed her that phoenixes could not actually burp) and there was always the odd appearance of Discord playing another prank.
She was thoroughly surprised to see a filly, of all things, sitting in boredom on one of the wooden park benches strewn throughout the maze.
“Hello,” Celestia spoke, uncertain of what else to say in the current situation. “Enjoying the view of my private garden?”
“Yeah,” Sweetie Belle said glumly, staring ahead at the wall of greenery. “Not really. I got bored waiting for my sister in that fancy place, so I came in here.”
“Oh, my. Would you like somepony to show you the way out?”
“Yeah, I guess,” Sweetie shrugged. “I was just oh my Celestia it’s Princess Celestia!”
The filly fell off the bench backwards from the shock, scrabbling to leap back up onto it. She finally managed it, but even standing at her full height she still wasn’t as tall as the sun princess.
“Princess Celestia!” Sweetie Belle shouted, furrowing her brows. “My eternal nemesis!”
“Are we nemeses?” Celestia blinked. “Why, I am quite a bit older than most ponies. I think I would have quite a few by now.”
“I am certain!” Sweetie bellowed, deepening her voice as much as she could. Unfortunately, it was only a single octave, but she still tried to make it sound as threatening as possible. “My immortal mortal foe! My – hang on, Princess. Can you turn around for me, pretty please? For just a second?” she batted her eyelashes cutely.
“Oh… I don’t see why not,” she shrugged, slowly turning on the spot. Celestia fought the urge to grin, but continued to play along anyway. “Like this?”
“Um… gimme another second,” the sound of Sweetie Belle struggling reached her ears. “Can-can you cover your eyes, too?”
“Oh, certainly.” Celestia slipped her enormous snowy wingtips just over her eyes, strongly reminded of playing hide-and-go-seek with her sister.
“... Okay, you can turn around now.”
Celestia gradually spun back around, facing the filly. Sweetie Belle looked absolutely no different than before, except now she had adorned a little black cape.
“Princess Celestia!” Sweetie lowered her voice again, stamping against the wooden seat for added effect. “My immortal mortal nemesis!”
“Indeed!” the princess flared her wings impressively, nearly blotting out the sun as she did so. “It is I, Princess Celestia! Your immortal mortal nemesis!”
“Ah-ha!” the filly bounced. “I have come to dethrone you, Celestia!”
“Oh, my goodness!” she lowered her wings at once, feigning awe. “How dreadful!”
“Indeed!” Sweetie threw up her hooves, swinging her little black cape back to look even more dastardly. “For I am Sweetie The Dreadful! Canterlot will be completely taken over, and there is nothing you can do about it!”
Sweetie Belle cackled very evilly, but because of her diminished stature, it came out as a series of squeaky and smile-inducing adorable barks.
Celestia tittered, hiding her smirk behind her wingtips and widening her eyes.
“How simply terrible. Surely you must have something terrible in store, Sweetie The Dreadful. You do have something dreadful in store, I presume?” Celestia asked coyly, to which Sweetie nodded enthusiastically.
“I sure do!” she beamed, thrilled at her foe’s inevitable defeat. “I’m gonna rule the whole kingdom, all by myself!”
“I’m sure you are,” the princess nodded. “But how exactly are you going to go about doing it? I’m really interested by this.”
“Ah-ha!” Sweetie brandished her wicked black cape of evil nasty awful wickedness, wreathed in darkness kind of sort of almost not really. “And that is where my evil plan comes in!”
“Oh, my goodness. An evil plan. I’ve never seen one of those before in my life.”
“Indeed!” she crowed again.
“Indeed?”
“Indeed!” Sweetie Belle laughed manically, a miniature lime spark alighting atop her horn. “For you see, Princess, I was bestowed with dark magic, and am now the most powerful filly in all of… ever!”
“Oh, my. Indeed?”
“Indeed!”
Sweetie wiggled her little hooves at the princess threateningly, terrible green light growing brighter. “Not only that, but I am also part demon! Ah-ha!”
"Ah-ha?"
"Ah-ha!"
“Oh, my. In-”
“YES INDEED!” Sweetie Belle screeched, stamping her hoof against the bench once more. “I am Sweetie the Terrible, Sweetie Belle the Dark and Demonic and Scary!”
“Wow,” Celestia bowed her head a little. “All I’ve got is the one little ‘Princess’ title.”
“Oh, um. By the way,” Sweetie dropped her flimsy magical aura for a moment, and shuffled nervously. “Well, actually, would you mind throwing this one?”
Celestia blinked again, and watched the filly closely.
“Throwing the what, my very scary enemy?”
“Um, the fight,” she shifted awkwardly. “I-I mean, I wouldn’t want to hurt you, Princess. I can be pretty tough, so if you put up much of a fight, I might accidentally hurt you, kind of.”
Celestia’s mouth formed a silent ‘O’ and she nodded a little in understanding.
“Why, goodness me, no. That would be positively frightful, I must say. But I think I’ll still fight for Equestria. I do live here, after all.”
“Okay, you were warned…!” Sweetie balled up her hooves intimidatingly, beckoning the porcelain colored princess closer.
Celestia leaned forward just a tad, flaring her wings again and displaying a not-very prominent or daunting look at all.
Sweetie Belle squealed in fright, lashing out with one hoof before promptly ducking away.
Her hoof bounced harmlessly off of the princess’s chin, and both of them froze for a solid moment. A bare second later, Celestia gasped in horror, clutching at her chin with her wings.
“Egad!” she wailed in despair. “How, oh how could you have possibly detected my only weak spot? Zounds! Oh curses! Oh darn! Oh drat!”
Celestia immediately threw up her hoof over her head in anguish, fainting on the spot.
Sweetie Belle stared in shock at the almost unconscious princess for nearly a full minute, mouth hanging open.
“I-I did it?” she breathed. “I mean, I did it! I mean, ah-ha!”
“Indeed.”
“What was that?” Sweetie narrowed her eyes toughly at her beaten and demoralized adversary.
“Oh, nothing,” Celestia lifted a hoof limply before going back to being comatose. “Continue.”
“Oh. Okay, then.”
Sweetie cawed in victory, properly squeaking her claiming of the kingdom.
“Huzzah!” she threw back her cape menacingly, smacking it away to keep it from getting stuck on her horn again. “I have defeated your princess, Canterlot! The city is mine! Ah-ha!”
“Oh my,” Celestia hummed. “How rotten.”
“Indeed!”
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Sweetie Belle cantered through the expansive halls of Canterlot Palace, taking in the grand sights.
The grand sights that were all hers now, victim to her horrific power!
She stomped along with a bit more of a hunch in her back, growling scarily at one of the passing guards. He gawked at the caped filly in a mixture of surprise and confusion, shifting his helmet a little.
“… Are you lost?” the yellow pegasus asked, looking about.
“Of course not, you fool!” Sweetie the Terrible cast back her black cloak, baring her teeth. “Bow before your new Princess!”
“What’s this about a new princess?” Luna stuck her head out through one of the many doorways, trotting with mild interest toward the pair.
“Ah-HA!” Sweetie balled up her hoof again. “My OTHER dreaded nemesis, Nightmare Moon!”
“What?” Luna blinked before spotting her sister lurking a few yards back behind a curtain. “What are you…”
Celestia made a couple of gestures with her hooves, and Luna made a silent ‘O’ in understanding. Within the next moment, she threw back her billowing mane and guffawed astoundingly loudly, startling the guard as much as she did Sweetie Belle.
“Of course!” Luna stood a little higher. “How could I forget, oh dreaded nemesis!”
“Ah-ha!” Sweetie stood on her back hooves, still unable to reach Luna’s height. “You-”
She paused, dropping onto all fours again before motioning for the guard to lean down. The poor befuddled pegasus looked to Princess Luna, then to Sweetie, then to the badly hiding Celestia, and back to Luna.
Luna only shrugged.
The guard sighed, leaning down a little so that Sweetie could clamber onto his back. She kicked and jumped, squirming to stand evenly atop his gilded armor and regained her haughty demeanor instantly.
“AH-HA!” Sweetie the Dark and Terrible tossed back her own mane, quietly wishing that hers would sparkle like Luna’s. “You cannot defeat me, tyrant! For it is I, Sweetie the Dark and Terrible and Scare-ifying, and I have come to defeat you!”
“Is that so?” Luna gaped at her in mock shock, eyes widening profoundly.
“Indeed!”
“Indeed?”
“Indeed!” Celestia called from the hall behind them.
“Care to back up those claims, foolish mortal?” Luna lowered her head and ruffled her wings, grinning widely.
“Of course!” Sweetie Belle bragged. “You – whoo, steady!”
The guard let out a grunt of dissatisfaction.
“You have no idea who you are dealing with, my other immortal mortal foe!” Sweetie informed her with another flourish of her cape, darkness and shadow practically radiating from her with the sheer evil. Unlike Princess Luna, who was literally radiating darkness and shadow, but Sweetie didn’t seem to notice that. Neither did she notice the tirade of giggles emanating from Celestia, who was currently engaged in a very one sided game of charades with Luna.
“And now you plan to… overthrow myself and… butterfly? What? Rowboat? I don't - oh! I mean, my sister! You plan to overthrow the diarchy!” Luna stage gasped as she deciphered her sister’s wild hoof motions. “How positively fiendish!”
“Indeed!” she boasted, nearly falling off the guard as she swayed. “VERY fiendish! I will overthrow you with my dark powers, so back down now before I have to punch you!”
“Egad!” Luna inhaled sharply. “Dark powers, however did one such as yourself come across such a horrendous thing, little one?”
“The Alicorn Amulet!” Sweetie informed her gleefully. “But then Zecora took it back, ‘cause I borrowed it without permission. But now I have the powers of Tartarus at my command!”
“Oh, my goodness gracious me,” Luna deadpanned. “I have got to see this.”
“Behold!” Sweetie threw up a hoof and almost fell off again. “See my mighty powers of dark and despair at your… despair!”
Sweetie Belle focused hard on Princess Luna, squinting her eyes.
Nothing happened.
“I don’t-”
“No, wait, not yet,” Sweetie harrumphed, squeezing her breath out in short bursts. She took another deep, fear inducing breath, and narrowed her eyes so much that they were almost closed before…!
The air was rent with a surprisingly violent belch that resounded from Sweetie Belle, and she hooted in victory.
“Ah-ha!” she threw back her cape. “The Belch of Doom!”
“Yes, it’s very doom-y,” Luna nodded with a hint of distaste. “I think Celestia could do louder, though.”
“Impossible!” Sweetie jabbed an unsteady hoof at the princess. “For I have already defeated Princess Celestia!”
“Egad!”
“Indeed!” Celestia whispered loudly.
“Is that so?” the guard grunted again.
“Indeed,” Luna nodded seriously.
“Indeed!” the filly of Fire and Brimstone cawed. “And now, for the finishing blow!”
“Oh no,” Princess Luna said emotionlessly. “Don’t. Please. No. Stop.”
Sweetie Belle slipped off the guard’s back, who seemed relatively pleased to remove the weight from his shoulders.
“I get the feeling that you aren’t taking me seriously,” Sweetie frowned.
“Oh. Sorry,” Luna cleared her throat before rolling her neck once or twice. “We were under the presumption that our ‘dreaded foe’ was just a little filly.”
“One of these days, Luna!” Sweetie balled up her hoof threateningly. “Bang! Zoom! Straight to the moon!”
“Give me your best shot,” Luna extended her chin a bit upon Celestia’s harried waving.
Sweetie swung as hard as she could, punching the princess of the night so hard that she could have almost tipped over a bunny rabbit.
Princess Luna swooned, gasping loudly as she collapsed against the floor.
“Oh, no!” Luna wailed. “How could this be? My one and only weak spot, maliciously exploited! Oh, no! Oh, woe is me!”
“Ah-ha!” Sweetie the Conqueror threw up her hoof in triumph. “All hope is lost! I have overthrown the un… overthrow-able!”
“... Huh. Now what?” the baffled guard looked back and forth between them all, particularly thrown off by Luna’s twitching and Celestia’s nearly rabid fit of hysterical titters. Princess Celestia was currently in the process of jamming her own hoof into her mouth to stifle her uncontrollable giggles.
She was also failing horribly.
Sweetie opened her mouth to reply, but closed it shortly afterwards.
She pondered the question for a long while, thinking hard.
If she was the ruler of all of Equestria, what exactly was she supposed to do now…?
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Sweetie Belle tapped her hoof against the counter, waving to the smiling mare behind it.
“Can I have another milkshake please?” she asked politely. “I like chocolate!”
“Who does not, am I correct?” Luna chortled good-naturedly, sitting in the barstool beside her.
“Nopony I could imagine,” Princess Celestia grinned. “Could you, Rarity?”
“I don’t know how many times I can say that I’m sorry for leaving my sister unattended,” Rarity half-laughed nervously as Sweetie ferociously began attacking her latest milkshake.
“That did not answer my question.”
“No, not at all!” Rarity blurted with another tense laugh. “Chocolate milkshakes, absolutely fantastic, Princess.”
“Indeed.”
And it was a grand end to a grand day.
A grand day, indeed.
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