Everyone goes to Equestria

by Justice3442

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia, Pinkie Pie, Sex, Human
Length: 3016

A bunch of strange, costumed individuals show up in Ponyville, an entire convention’s worth in fact. No special powers amongst them and not a single clue as to what they should do in this strange new land of talking ponies.

A bunch of strange, costumed individuals show up in Ponyville, an entire convention’s worth in fact. No special powers amongst them and not a single clue as to what they should do in this strange new land of talking ponies.

Three guesses as to who has to deal with it.

(Hint, she's on the cover-art.)

Sex tag for some light references.

Published 2014-05-03 02:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-03 02:10:01 UTC

The easiest world to to accidentally end up in ever.

Everyone goes to Equestria

The sun began to slowly rise over a serene looking cottage amongst an equally serene looking wooded area. The cottage’s roof was covered in grass and bushes, making the building almost appear like a natural piece of the surrounding landscape. Only a front doorway and a collection of windows and several birdhouses marked the gentle looking building as pony made. Animals of all sorts scampered about, playing and going about their business as the first rays of the sun illuminated the cottage and the area around it

As the sun rose, a rooster crowed into the sky, “Cock-a-doodle-doooo….”

From inside the cottage, Fluttershy began the morning much as she had begun so many morning before it. She smiled as the sound of nature roused her from her sleep and she enjoyed the warmth on her body from the sun that beamed through her bedroom window. She tossed off her checkered, butterfly bedspread and stepped onto the floor.

Fluttershy trotted over to an open window and looked out into her lawn, inhaling the sweet morning air. “Good morning, everyone,” she called out to the creatures frolicking about. Everything from the tiny mice to the birds in the air all squeaked and chirped greetings.

Fluttershy sighed contently to herself as she leaned back and lowered herself back to her hooves. “Well,” she said to herself, “I guess I better head into town and grab food for everyone.

Soon, Fluttershy was happily trotting away from her cottage down a well-traveled path. She hummed contently to herself as the trees around her soon gave way to pleasant looking thatched roof houses. As she approached the city, she noticed her friends had already gathered near the town square.

Fluttershy’s smile only widened as she approached her friends. “Oh hello everypony, what’s…” her eyes went wide as she looked over a crowd of an unfamiliar, bipedal, mostly hairless, species all wearing strange and unfamiliar clothing. The creatures occupied most of the available space around Ponyville’s Town Hall. All of the creatures stood several feet above a pony and some of their clothing looked quite sinister. Both added to the unease Fluttershy already felt from simply stumbling into such a bizarre scene. As intimidating to Fluttershy as the creatures were they seemed to be doing little more than conversing with each other and milling around with confused expressions.

Twilight nodded at Fluttershy. “Hi, Fluttershy. We have a sit—”

“Nope!” Fluttershy announced as she turned and starting walking back down the path towards her house. “Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope” she repeated all the way down the path as she quickly cantered away, back towards the safety of her cottage.

Rarity watched as the butter colored pegasus quickly about faced and fled the scene. “Well, that was predictable…” she said.

“Can ya blame her?” Applejack chimed in. “Ah mean… Ponyville is full of these strange uh…”

“‘People’” Twilight informed.

Applejack nodded. “Right, ‘people’ , and they’re all dressed mighty strange…”

Twilight took another scan of the mass of people in town square. “I think they’re all in costumes. I mean, most of them look like they’re dressed like something out of Spike’s comics.”

Rarity pursed her lips. “Well… that explains their strange fashion choices, but why are they here?”

Twilight frowned. “That’s what—”

Pinkie suddenly gasped. “Maybe they all have the powers of whatever they’re dress as!”

Rainbow Dash smiled. “That would be so awesome!”

Applejack knitted her brow at the pink pony. “Now how the hay would that happen?!”

Pinkie shrugged. “I ‘dunno’!”

Twilight pondered this. “Well… I guess I could ask.” She cleared her throat and began to address the mass of people, “Do any of you have any super powers?!”

“…”

“…Cough…”

“A lot of us can sew!” someone called out.

Twilight smacked a forehoof against her face. “Just…HOW THE HECK DID YOU ALL GET HERE?!” Twilight cried.

One of the costumed people raised a hand. “I saw a swirling tear in the fabric of reality and decided it would be a good idea to just jump through it!”

A chorus of other answers rang out.

“Someone brought a strange machine to the con and I have a compulsion to randomly push buttons!”

“I accidently poured Mountain Dew on of the computers in that LAN room!”

 “I ran up the escalator the wrong way and made it all the way to the top!” Someone said proudly.

“I walked through the ‘beyond’ section at a Bed, Bath, & Beyond!”

“I got stuck in some rotating doors at the con and spun around and around until I ended up here!”

“I tried to get a piece of toast out of a toaster with a fork!”

“I dove in a pool that clearly had a ‘No diving allowed sign!’ posted.”

“I just felt left out…”

Applejack squinted her eyes as she looked over the roads full of humans. “Is it jus’ me, or does Equestria seem easier to get into than Rainbow Dash’s bedroom during heat week?”

“HEY!” Rainbow Dash protested angrily.

Rarity and Pinkie Pie couldn’t help but giggle.

Rarity held up a hoof. “I believe that deserves a hoof bump!”

Pinkie Pie also held up her own forehoof. “A double hoof bump, I’d say! I’ll even throw in an ‘Oh, snap!’”

Applejack grinned as she quickly bumped the hooves that were extended to her.

“Not funny, guys!” Rainbow Dash said.

“You’re darn right it’s not funny!” Twilight said. “We have a problem.”

Tears began to stream down Rainbow Dash’s eyes as she held her forehooves in front of her. “Okay, I admit it! If I don’t get constant validation from as many sources as possible, I feel empty, unloved, and alone!”

Applejack, Rarity, and Pinkie suddenly frowned.

“Why dearie,” Rarity began as she trotted up and placed a comforting forearm over Rainbow’s shoulder. “We had no idea you felt this way!”

Pinkie nodded. “Yeah! We just thought you were a slut!”

“Pinkie!” Applejack and Rarity said in a chastising tone.

“What?!” Pinkie cried. “I didn’t say it was a bad thing! I mean… if it weren’t for sluts, how would the desperate ever get laid?!”

“PINKIE!”

Rainbow Dash’s lips began to quiver. “I’m not… I mean… everypony actually likes me, right?”

“Of course they like you, dearie!” Rarity assured.

Applejack nodded. “Yeah, but that don’t mean you have to let every stallion or mare that shows the least bit of interest in you know what color your bedspread is, if you catch my drift.”

“Well… okay…” Rainbow Dash said sheepishly.

“I’m not even talking about that!” Twilight exclaimed.

Rainbow Dash breathed a sigh of relief, “Phew! For a moment there I thought I was going to have to give up being a slut!”

“WHAT?!” Rarity and Applejack cried.

“Told ya!” Pinkie said happily.

Twilight motioned out to the crowd. “I mean the problem of all these people who just showed up!? What are we going to do with them?!”

The other four mare’s exchanged glances and looked back at Twilight.

Pinkie was the first to speak up, “Isn’t it kinda your job to figure that out?”

Applejack nodded. “Ah mean… you are a princess and all!”

“Yeah!” Rainbow Dash chimed in. “You’ve got a crown and everything! You’re supposed to call the shots!”

“I hate to pass the buck, darling,” Rarity began, “but I have to agree with everypony else here.”

Twilight gave out an exasperated sigh. “UHG! Why is it always me who has to think up stuff?!”

“Because it is your destiny, Twilight Sparkle!” A melodic voice called out from above.

Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash all bowed as Celestia descended from the sky above.

Twilight on the other hoof, simply looked up at her former mentor with an irritated expression. “Why is it whenever something screws up, I have to fix it?!” she cried. “Is there some sort of rule about the new princess getting all the horrible jobs?!”

“Well you see, my little pony…” Celestia paused as tapped a forehoof against her chin. “…Actually you just described the situation perfectly,” she admitted.

“UHHG!” Twilight cried as she threw her arms up in frustration. “You know what?! I’m sick of this! Pinkie can be the newest Princess from now on!”

Pinkie gasped. “Awesome-possum!” she cried. “Can my crown be made out of candy sticks and rock candy?!”

“Sure fine, whatever!” Twilight said in an exasperated tone as she trotted off.

“WHAT?!” Rainbow Dash cried. “She can’t just do that!” She looked up at Celestia. “Can she?”

“I’m afraid she can…” Celestia said.

“Wait, really?!” Rarity exclaimed. “Twilight, darling,” she called after the purple alicorn, “could you make me a princess?!”

“NO!” Twilight called back.

Rarity sighed. “It was worth a shot…”

Applejack cocked an eyebrow as she stared up at Celestia. “So any princess can just declare anypony else a princess?!”

Celestia nodded. “Well, at first Luna and I thought we could only be friends with other princess so we made it a rule that any princess could make anypony else a princess. It was only later we realized that idea was, in fact, foolish and dumb. However, along with the rule that the newest princess had to basically do all the dirty work, it made for a convenient way to shirk duties…”

Rarity flashed Celestia a perplexed look. “Uh… strange… Can’t you just reverse the decision?”

Celestia shook her head. “Luna and I got into too many fights over calling ‘backsies’ on each other’s princess decisions and had to write down we couldn’t undo another princess’s decision.”

Applejack frowned. “Hey! Wait a minute! Does that mean a new princess could just run around making other ponies princesses?!”

Celestia nodded. “Well, they run the risk of incurring the wrath of the princess that appointed them, but the law is rather loophole heavy, I must admit.”

“Hehe! That all sounds fun!” Pinkie exclaimed.

“Uh… yeaaaah…” Rainbow Dash said. “In a sort of filly prank sort of way…”

Celestia frowned. “Well… see, the Princess laws were written by Luna and I over a millennium ago when we were first starting out…”

“Wait,” Rarity said, “you mean you both wrote them when you were foals?!”

“…bYes…” Celestia replied sheepishly. “We sort of wrote them as a joke and forgot about them, and then they turned into law sometime later…”

“Hurray!” Pinkie exclaimed. “My rules are legally binding!”

Rainbow Dash smiled. “Welp! I’m absolutely terrified!”

Rarity nodded. “Me too, dearie. Me too…” She looked back up at Celestia. “Why would you let something you and your sister write as foals be turned into law?”

Celestia scowled. “Look! We were the very first Princesses! How we suppose to know a bunch of crazy ponies would start treating us as gods and handling every stupid thing we wrote down as some sort of gospel?!”

Rarity swallowed and took a couple steps back. “So…sorry…” she stammered out. “I didn’t mean—”

Celestia sighed, “Apologies, I didn’t mean to snap at you.” Celestia looked out at the crowd of humans. “I’m just not sure what I should do about a few hundred strange creatures suddenly showing up randomly…”

Pinkie grinned wide. “Oh, I have some ideas…”

Celestia paused with a slight ponderous expression. “Well, I guess it is your new duty as the newest Princess to sort this out…”

Applejack looked at Pinkie and frowned. “Well… alright then… jus’, ya know, don’t go getting mad with power, or nothin’…”

Pinkie grinned wide. “Silly-Billy Applejack! It’s me!” she declared as she motioned to herself. Pinkie looked out across the group of costumed people. “Alright! You’re all slaves now!” Pinkie exclaimed happily. “No exceptions!”

A chorus of disappointed groans rang out from the crowd.

Pinkie scowled out at the crowd. “Hey! Whiners get beheadings!”

The humans immediately went silent.

Rainbow Dash scrunched her muzzle up as she witnessed the scene. She quickly flew into the air and shouted out “Twilight! Pinkie’s already gone mad with power!”

“I DON’T CARE!” Twilight called back casually.

Celestia frowned. “Well… I guess that’s one way to solve the problem…”

Rarity looked over at Pinkie Pie. “Well, Pinkie Pie… my dear, dear friend. I understand if the burden of leadership is too great for one pony to bear and humbly offer myself for the role of pri—”

“Noper!” Pinkie said with a huge grin.

Rarity gritted her teeth. “DANGIT!”

Pinkie looked up at Celestia with a giant grin. “Do I get a song now?”

Celestia rolled her eyes.

A blinding light briefly engulfed Celestia and Pinkie and soon the two were suspended atop a pathway of sparkling lights surrounded by stars and a soothing looking mist of light blue, pink, and yellow.

“Do I have to?” Celestia whined.

“Do it!” Pinkie replied with a huge grin.

Celestia sighed as she began to trot down the walkway, Pinkie close behind. Scenes of almost entirely composed of Pinkie eating enormous amounts of food floated on either side of them with the occasionally scene of her crying or angrily shouting at some pony mixed in.

Celestia began to halfheartedly sing, “You’ve come such a long, long way, and I’ve watched you since… Uh… well since you became Twilight Sparkles friend… You know what? This is ridiculous.”

Pinkie grinned. “Can I get my wings and horn now?”

“Yeah, yeah…” Celestia muttered as a white glow began to encompass Pinkie. Pinkie was lifted into the air as the white light grew brighter and brighter as pink ribbons of energy began to swim around Pinkie. Soon the light exploded out and reappeared as a glowing two blue balloons and a yellow balloon high over Ponyville.

The balloons descended towards the town as all the humans “Oooh”ed and “Aaaah”ed. The ponies merely looked on with unamused scowls.

Rainbow Dash sighed, “Well… we’re boned.”

Rarity nodded. “Pretty much, dearie…”

As the balloons neared the ground, they exploded into bright, white light and confetti around a smiling, pink alicorn.

Applejack shook her head. “Aaaaaand Pinkie Pie is an alicorn, ooooh good.”

Pinkie giggled. “Hehehe… BOW BEFORE YOUR NEW PRINCESS!”

The ponies all groaned.

“Do we have to?” Rainbow Dash whined.

Pinkie smiled wide. “Who’s Princess?”

The ponies present all reluctantly bowed their heads.

Pinkie scowled out at the group of humans. “AND ALL OF YOU! START GROVELING!”

“WHAT?!” Someone protested from the crowd. “We’re not just going to—”

There was a brief, light blue glow from Pinkie’s horn that quickly changed to a bolt of energy that collided with the source of the voice. The human in question suddenly exploded into a storm of glitter and confetti.

The other human put on panicked expressions and trembling lips, but quickly got on their knees and lowered their heads to the ground.

Pinkie’s friend’s eyes went wide as they tried to process the fact that their happy, bubbly friend didn’t hesitate for an instance to use her new powers in a violent or even deadly manner.

Pinkie smiled happily to herself. “THAT should get out the message that Princess Pinkie Pie isn’t to be trifled with.”

Celestia sighed and just shook her head. “Whatever… I’m going home.” She began to trot off towards the group of humans. “I think I’ll make some of the new slaves carry me.”

“Huh?!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed. “Can’t you just fly back?!”

“Don’t tell me how to live my life!” Celestia snapped back.

“Hmmm…” Pinkie hummed to herself. “I think I’ll make Gummy my Grand Vizier…”

Having donned sunglasses and being bathed by the warm sun, Twilight sighed contently to herself as she lounged on a large, comfortable looking chair. Sand surrounded her on all sides, and several yards away, gentle waves flowed in and out rhythmically against the shore.

Spike held an unfurled scroll in his claws that extended a few yards away from him. “Now you’re sure you want me to send this to Princess Celestia.”

Twilight giggled. “Hehe, yep!” she said happily.

Spike scanned the scroll briefly. “Just… lines and lines of you blowing raspberries and making fart noises you made me write out…”

“Absolutely!”  Twilight confirmed.

“Well… alright… if you’re sure it’s a good idea…”

Twilight shook her head. “No, I think it’s an awesome idea!”

Spike shrugged before he breathed a breath of green fire that consumed the scroll in a puff of shimmering smoke. The smoke drifted up and off into the sky.

“Awww…” Twilight uttered as she put both her forearms behind her head and leaned back. “I should have done this a long time ago…”

“Uh… Princess?” An orange pegasus stallion in golden royal guard armor said tentatively. He held up a tall glass rimmed with a piece of pineapple. A straw and small umbrella stuck out of the top. “I have your drink…” The stallion paused. “Uh… again…” he added in a worried tone.

The glass glowed purple and floated over to Twilight. “Thank you, Flash,” she said with a smile.

Flash Sentry grinned pensively as Twilight took a large sip of the drink. She pulled a disgusted face and spat the drink in Flash’s face, following that up with the contents of the glass.

“What part of not enough rum did you not understand?!”

Flash’s ears flapped down around his head as stared wide eyed at Twilight, “But… there’s already three more shots of rum in that drink than the recipe calls for!”

Twilight shook her head. “I don’t care!” she cried. “Make it again, and this time don’t embarrass yourself!”

“Ya…yes princess!” Flash stammered out as he about faced and briskly trotted away from Twilight.

Twilight lowered her sunglasses and smiled wryly as she fixed her eyes on Flash’s flank. She giggled to herself once more, “Hehehe… I am so tapping that flank tonight…”

“Twilight, was it really necessary to treat him like that?!” Spike cried in surprise.

Twilight pondered this briefly. “Hmmm… No, but I like watching him walk away and it’s a lot quicker to take a sip of my drink and throw it at him then drink all… plus he’s adorable when he’s terrified.”

“Uh… right…” Spike uttered.

Twilight giggled to herself. “I don’t know what everypony is complaining about, abusing your power is awesome!”

The End