Narrating Dash

The morning started like any other morning.  The sun was shining, the wind was whispering along the ground, and it’s eleven in the morning… You’re wasting your day away Dashing “Mmm… Shut up…” Miss Dashing mumbled into her pillow, horrifically depressed that her day was half way over.

“I’m not depressed” Dear Dashing lied, her boastful ego was disintegrating as we speak, it was her own fault that this was happening.  Oh ho… Now she’s angry, you could clearly see it written all over her face, it was as noticeable as a pink pony running about screaming bloody murder on a Monday.

“It’s Saturday, my day off, mind your own business” Dear Dashing was trying to stay off topic, her internal struggle to sleep in or do something productive was like watching a grown stallion walk by a baby filly on a railroad track.  Not giving two bits of his time to just kindly kick it out of the way.

“Do you make this stuff up off the spot, or do you have a script lying around?” asked the completely uninterested, and totally asleep Rainbow Dash.  She rolled her eyes and pulled over her covers, entirely aware that she just got duped.

“You did not dupe me!” Did too! “Did not!” Did too! “Did not!” our silly back and forth was all but a fools excuse to delay the inevitable fact that our- “DID. NOT!” Dashing interrupted “Look, number one! You did not dupe me! Number two, Stop calling me ‘Dashing’! And number three, I want some sleep!  So you can go back to whatever grave you flew out of and stay there!”

Dashing was grumpy.  The covers dragged over her multi-colored head was proof of this.  She was obviously very tired, because if she wasn't, she would remember that I wasn't a ‘Ghost’ as she thinks I am.

“You are a Ghost! What else could you possibly be?” said Dashing, popping her head out and sitting up strait.  But she shouldn't be asking this question, considering I’ve already told her.

Dashing rolled her eyes, as if I was some old mule reliving the ‘Good old days’ as it were.

I’m a Narrator, I describe, explain, depict, and laugh over everything that occurs around my Protagonist, namely Miss Dashing.  I’m not some ghost haunting you beyond the grave.  I simply observe and talk over your boring excuse of a Saturday afternoon.  And you know perfectly well why this is boring.

Dashing gave a stern glare towards me, as I could only be seen by her.

“Look” Dashing began, scrunching her nose, annoyed and frustrated “It’s my day off, Gallant Gale is taking over for me today as Weather Manager, Scootaloo is in Canterlot with Rarity, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Apple Jack looking for Cutie marks, I’m not at the Wonderbolt academy right now because Spitfire canceled all classes, Flutter Shy is at Discord’s place playing board games and what not, Pinkie is throwing an early Birthday party for Princess Luna, and Twilight is rebuilding the Library for the Tenth time, so that leaves me with only one thing to do, Sleep!” Dashing concluded.

...

Silence engulfed the atmosphere around us; until I couldn't control myself.

I want out! I proclaimed.  “Excuse me?” Dashing asked, quizzical as to what I had just said, but there was no need to explain any further, as just simply saying it was a good enough excuse in and of itself… So I will say it, one last time.

I. WANT. OUT!!  I proclaimed again, this time leaving a ringing pain in Dashing’s ears.  “Well who’s stopping you!?” Dashing yelled, still covering her ears in discomfort “Just go outside and leave me to my sleep already!” Dashing finished, complaining about my very existence, flipping over to her right while pulling her blanket over her head.  But once again, she failed to remember the condition of being my ‘Protagonist’.

You know all too well that I can’t just walk about without you to narrate!

“Tough Apples! I’m staying in bed!” You’re getting out of bed or I’ll spoil the ending to the last Daring Do book! I threatened, causing Dear Dashing to pop out from under her covers in a panic.

“You wouldn’t dare…” Dashing said slowly, clinging to her blanket with her already trembling hooves, preparing for the worse.

“I- I’m not preparing for the worse! You’re bluffing! T- Theirs no way you know the ending to that!” Dashing said aloud, her voice trembling from fear of my divine power.  Because what did she know, I’m a spectral being with an addiction for explaining miniscule details of a pony’s everyday life.

How would I not know what the future holds?

Dashing pulled her blanket just under her eyes, quietly muttering Please don’t spoil it!  Please don’t spoil it!  Please don’t spoil it!

Your begging won’t save you now my Dear Dashing!

“No!! No please!!” Dashing pleaded to my echoing voice.

…

Death, death was the only thing that lingered from the canyon basin.

“No…”

Ahuizotl’s lifeless corpse was heavy and drenched with blood.  I dare not look back at his mangled twisted body, for the taste of my breakfast flying out of my mouth was the last thing I wanted to experience again.

“Stop it! Stop it!!”

And I would leave him in this sad grave, if he wasn't still useful to me.

“I CAN’T HEAR YOU!! BLAH BA- BLAH BA- BLAH BLAH!!”

Because even though he was dead, it didn't mean I couldn't make him talk.  He was still useful to me… For now…

“NOOOOO!” Dashing screamed “I’ll do it! Okay!? I’ll go outside! I’ll let you do whatever you want! Just stop spoiling it!!!” Dashing yelled and screamed while flapping her wings and waving her hooves in a flustered manner.

It was good to see… Because I wanted to take a nice walk around town.

“Seriously?” Dashing muttered aloud, her eyes were sagging, her mane was messy, and her feathers were ruffled.  Dashing was a mess, and that was just putting it nicely.

Maybe you could use a wash up Dashing.

“Ya think?” Dashing said, annoyed.