Smashed

by Yoru no Seishin

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Discord, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 9666

Isaac was a normal guy. He heard the stories of cosplayers disappearing from cons. Turns out, everyone's a target and now he's a target of the ponies. Let's hope he doesn't croak.

How to get Smashed in four easy steps.
1. Make a deal with a god and receive an artifact of power. Check
2. Acquire new look, sweet powers, and sick loot. Check
3. Piss off the ruling body of the country. Check
4. Profit. Still working on that.

Inspired by the LoHAV fics

Rated T for swearing, innuendo, and definite violence

Published 2014-05-03 04:20:04 UTC
Last updated 2015-05-11 05:40:36 UTC

How did I get into this mess?

Twas a fine day in the city of Canterlot.

The sun was shining.

Really wish I had a pair of shades.

The ponies were going about their daily routines.

Bunch of stuck-up jerks.

Celestia went about her duties; which essentially revolved having an audience with her subjects and listening to their suggestions and praise.

Show them your bondage dungeon, Tia. They’ll definitely praise you after that.

And the daily tour group was visiting the royal sculpture garden.

I care about this why?

I’m trying to set the mood for the story.

But did you have to mention the tour group? No one visits me, so I get depressed.

Well what would you say?

How about “Notable locations are the Canterlot symphony hall, the Wonderbolt air grounds, and the royal sculpture garden, housing monuments to Equestria’s greatest heroes and it’s most sinister villains. It’s so remarkable, I come here every day!”?

You never leave.

And since I never leave, you would think that I would get some visitors.

Well you’re not exactly easily seen.

AND WHOSE FAULT IS THAT?!

Whoa! Calm down, dude.

Sorry. I need a moment. You can go narrate the tour group now.

Very well.

As we return to the tour group, we see that the group is Ms. Cheerilee and her class on a field trip from Ponyville. Out of the class, the most noteworthy would be three young fillies. The names of the three are Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo, who regularly cause extensive property damage in pursuit of their cutie marks. They drifted to and fro, gawking at every statue they came across, before arriving at Victory’s statue and having a discussion over her cutie mark, which quickly dissolved into an argument involving dictionaries.

Their attention was quickly gained by their teacher, as she directed them towards one of the more infamous statues. The creature of chaos, the demon of disharmony, and a very creative dungeon master when playing D&D: Discord. The fillies and colts looked in awe at the mismatched creature that once ruled Equestria with an iron paw/claw. However, the group quickly left as an argument began over what the statue represented.

The statue pulsed with a purple light as the stony surface began to crack and split, and with a very dramatic explosion, Discord was free. He briefly spent the first few seconds cracking his joints before turning his attention to me

“Excuse me, but would you happen to know where I can find one of my generals? I would like to cause as much chaos as I can and they typically don’t disappoint me.” He said with a smirk on his face.

Try the labyrinth.

Without another word he made his way towards the large hedge maze, weaving his way to and fro, making the necessary twists and turns to reach his target: the maze center.

A popular myth regarding the maze was that Celestia had sculpted it herself and placed a prize in the center for those who could solve it. A feat easier said than done, as few ponies had the patience to persist in this endeavor. Those who cheated would be disappointed to find no reward.

As Discord arrives in the center, we can see that the myth holds true. Before him stands a masterpiece that would make any artisan green with envy (provided that they’re not already green). The masterpiece in question is a large marble 3-tier fountain. The bottom tier consisted of numerous fillies and colts enjoying the bliss of their childhood. The middle tier showed three ponies, one from each of the races, performing their talents: a pegasus shaping a cloud, an earth pony tending to the wildlife, and a unicorn with its horn sparking with magic. The top tier showed Celestia and Luna holding their respective astral bodies. However, what threw the few ponies that saw it was what stood on top of the fountain. Standing on top is a tall amphibious- looking creature. The creature stands balanced on one of its legs with its arms out to the sides in a meditative stance. Its triangular head is held at attention, though its eyes show a rather nonchalant expression. Around its neck is what appears to be a long scarf, its position indicating a strong breeze. Discord, being a connoisseur of fine art, took a whole three seconds to appreciate it before he floated over and knocked on the creature’s head.

“Yo frog boy. You awake?”

How can I sleep when you’re banging on my head?

“Excellent. Seeing the position you’re in, I would assume my other generals face similar fates. Do you happen to know where Proxy, Crag Cracker, or Swift Talon is?”

Unfortunately my lord, the others died in the campaign against the sisters. I’m all that remains of your empire.

“That’s rather disappointing, but it appears that there will be more chaos for us.”

Speaking of chaos, would you mind letting me out? Marble doesn’t really go with my complexion.

“Try granite sometime. As for your release, I don’t have the current power to break your prison. However, I can make a catalyst that’ll break it under a certain condition.”

I’ll take whatever I can get.

He cleared his throat before gathering a small amount of chaos energy in his hands.

“Void of reason, but not of rhyme.
I say these words to ensure our chaos time.
To release you for the world to see,
only intentions pure will set you free.”

Do your solutions always have to be so superfluous?

“Would I be Discord if they weren’t?”

Good point.

“As much as I enjoy this reunion, that chaos isn’t going to cause itself.”

Go enjoy yourself, and in the event you’re captured again, does our old deal still stand?

“I never break a promise.”

And in a flash of light, he was gone.

You know, I’ve always wanted to give that guy a Rorschach test just to see what he would say.

You can do that when you’re free. Think you can handle the narration for a while?

Now seems like a good time.

(POV- ???)

Well since we’re alone with my thoughts, I suppose I should tell you how I got into this mess. It began long ago in a dimension far far away…

(Earth- 1,037 years ago)

Back then life was simple. I was an undergraduate without a care in the world. Oh, I haven’t introduced myself. I am Isaac. The last name isn’t important. What is important is what I was doing that fateful day. On that day, I was attending an anime convention and no I wasn’t cosplaying. I instead opted to spend all my cash in the dealer’s room and taking pictures of the cosplays I did enjoy. However, what really caught my attention was a table a little out of the way. It was very simple, except for what was on the front: the Smash Bros insignia. When I saw this, I immediately felt a sense of nostalgia remembering the matches I had with my friends back home. My curiosity got the better of me and I struck up a conversation with the guy at the table. Turns out the guy was holding a Smash tournament and was looking for participants. I looked at the sign-up sheet and noticed the definite lack of names. Before I could make a decision, he laid something on the table: Super Smash Bros for WiiU. This shouldn’t be out for months. I’m definitely signing-up now. After signing, he instructed me to hold my hand out. I did so and was handed a circular piece of glass with a gold rim.

“You’re giving me a monocle?”

“Think of it as an ID for the tournament.”

“Whatever you say.”

He then stuck out his right hand, which I just noticed was adorned in a white glove.

“I look forward to seeing you fight.”

“I look forward to fighting.”

I grabbed his hand and my vision instantly went black. My last thoughts were “I regret nothing” and “Curse you, Dinkleberg!!!”

“Eep!”

Wait, that’s not part of the flashback.

(Equestria- Present)

Taking the quickest exit from memory lane, I look for what interrupted my flashback and notice something at the base of my fountain. A butter yellow mare with a pink mane is looking at me. Searching my memory, I recognize her as Fluttershy (sans wings) and that noise was probably me scaring her.

“What are you?”

A mess, that’s what I am.

She keeps walking around my fountain, probably trying to figure out if I’m real or not.

“I know that the sculpture garden has heroes and villains, but I don’t know which one you are. If you’re a hero, I want to thank you for what you’ve done. If you’re not…”

I watch as she starts to climb the fountain and am quite surprised when she hugs me.

“I hope you have a chance to redeem yourself.”

She hops down and runs off, likely to find her friends.

I notice my stony shell fall apart and I topple to the ground.

I take a moment to appreciate the sweet ground before I stand up and turn my attention to the fountain, which is now pile of rubble.

“It’s a shame. That fountain felt like a part of me, both figuratively and literally.”

I look down the path that Fluttershy had made her exit.

“Pure intentions. You really are Kindness.”

My gaze shifts to the castle.

“Time to get my stuff back and give Sunbutt a piece of my mind.”

Author's Note

An idea that's been festering in my mind for awhile that I just had to right.
Looking forward to continuing this.

Making a splash

A few bounces and I made it to the sculpture garden. The next step was infiltrating the castle and the easiest way to do that would be a distraction. I surveyed the area taking note of the guards positioned at the nearest entrance and the small platoon of pegasi that had passed by. Target located and now comes the matter of ammunition. Spying a good sized rock, I grabbed it and gave it a few practice tosses, before taking aim.

Smack Down

I watched as the rock soared through the air before landing on a pegasus’s head. It didn’t inflict major damage, but it was enough to disrupt his flying and send him to the ground. I watched as the other pegasi flew down to help him and were soon joined by the guards that were at the entrance. My path clear, I made my way to the castle wall. I searched for the next location, a balcony above me, and had quickly climbed to it.

Judging from the décor, I assume this Lulu’s room. Either that or Tia’s going through an emo phase.

However, it struck me as odd when I noticed Lulu’s empty bed, considering it’s the middle of the day. Fearing her probable entrance, I quickly got to work looking for my things. After looking through a large pile of royal documents, diary entries, and some rather ‘interesting’ shopping lists, I had managed to find my item pouch. After checking to make sure everything was there, I strapped it to my leg and made my way to Celestia’s room. I crawled along the ceiling, being sure to stay out of the line of sight of her guards. Inside, it was easy to find what I was looking for. Over on the other side stood a mannequin modeling one of Celestia’s dresses and around its neck was my monocle, fashioned into a necklace. I removed it and returned it to my right eye.

Oculus, you there?

Took you long enough.

Sorry about that.

So how was the imprisonment?

I think I went insane.

What gave you that idea?

I think I developed a narrative personality.

Wow.

I know. How was it being neckwear?

A bit degrading at first, but I got over it soon after.

As we continued to catch up, my mind drifted to when I arrived here.

(1,037 years ago)

I slowly came to noticing that my face had been plowed into the ground. Heaving myself up, I tried to exit the dazed state I was in, shaking the dirt from my face.

“Ok, so I’m not at the convention. Now, where the fuck am I?”

I decided to take note of my surroundings. Maybe, that’ll give me some idea of my location.

Trees. Everywhere.

“Ok, I’m in a forest. That reeeeaally narrows things down.”

My eyes drifted down to the ground, where I see the monocle that the guy gave me. Against better judgment, I reached down to grab it. That was mistake number one. So now I’m standing here staring at my hand, which isn’t my hand. It has three long digits, bulbous fingertips, and it’s webbed. I’m currently trying to resist the urge to scream. I need to find a water source. I need to see what the rest of me looks like. Fortunately, there was a stream nearby. I peered into the shallow depths and instantly knew what I was.

I’m a Greninja. I’m a Pokémon!

Now, I’ve decided to scream. Unfortunately, the moment was ruined when opening my mouth led to my tongue falling out. I know Greninjas have long tongues, but when it comes out of your own mouth, it kind of throws you for a loop. So I decided to adopt the obvious and positioned my tongue into the traditional scarf position.

“This certainly makes talking easier. Now the question is what to do with this?”

I was still holding the monocle and I was tempted to put it on. That was mistake number two. As its set over my eye, I start to feel a slight tingling sensation. Then my vision just exploded with detail.

“This…is…amazing. Judging from these footprints, someone’s been here recently, approximately 6.53 hours. I see the individual scales on the wings of that butterfly on the other side of the clearing. I can see the wind currents swirling above me. Heck, I can see the moisture droplets in the air.”

You sound excited.

“Ah!”

I apologize for startling you.

“Oh, it’s alright. It feels nice knowing insanity has a welcome committee.”

What do you mean?

“Why it’s obvious I’ve gone mad. I’m picturing myself as a creature from a video game, I’m starting to hear voices, and the fact you’re a feminine voice is probably related to a subconscious desire of wanting to get laid.”

I don’t see what your sexual desires have to do with the situation.

“Wait a minute. If I truly believe I’m insane, doesn’t that mean I’m not? But then me saying I’m sane means that I’m denying that I’m insane. I’m confused.”

You’re not the only one.

“Ok, I’m just going to say that I’m sane. It will probably be better in the long run.”

Smart decision.

“So this is actually happening. Are you actually in my head?”

More like I’m on your face.

So my monocle is either really hi-tech, enchanted, or some other complex thing I can’t explain.

“So…any idea what we should do?”

Anything is better than staying here.

“Well judging from these footprints, the people who passed earlier are likely in this direction. Following them would be the easiest way of getting to civilization. By the way, name’s Isaac.”

Oculus.

“Well then Ms. Oculus, I get the feeling this may be the start of a fantastic friendship.”

And thus we began our journey, though little did we know we would be treading deeper into the mess we were in.

(Present)

Get a hold of yourself, Isaac. There will be plenty of time for day dreaming when we’re far away from these ponies.

I just had to find one more thing, and its likely Celestia hid it in the most difficult area possible.

“Looks like I’m going to have to confront Celestia if I want everything.”

Fortunately while you were day dreaming, the guards have left their positions.

“Discord’s likely been recaptured, so they’ve gone to join the celebration.”

After taking a quick sweep of the area, I had found a nice area above the throne room.

I began pooling the water in my hands, being sure to get the length right and flattening it for optimal cutting.

Water Shuriken- Sword Mode

I plunged the blade through the floor and quickly carved a circular opening, making sure to grab the piece I cut before it hit the floor. I squeezed my way through on to the ceiling of the throne room. Below me, I can see the remains of quite the celebration, the new element bearers, and Ms. Solar Posterior herself.

“And now we play the waiting game.”

Twilight’s mind was buzzing from the events of today. Discord, the spirit of chaos, had been released, Equestria had been turned upside down, she had almost lost her friends, and everything turned out alright. In one day. She and her friends had been given the hero treatment, which consisted of the largest non-Pinkie party you could imagine. The festivities had died down and the only ponies remaining were her, her friends, and her mentor Princess Celestia. Rainbow Dash and Applejack had gone a little heavy on the cider and were currently lying in a pile. Rarity and Fluttershy were currently engaged in a conversation regarding the feeling they had during their prior brainwashing. Princess Celestia seemed the most placid, gorging on a piece of cake. Yes, everything seemed to be in order.

“Wait. Where’s Pinkie?”

Somehow Pinkie Pie had managed to disappear during the party, which is weird since the party usually revolves around her. However, before Twilight could ponder how she had done it, the doors opened and in walked the party mare herself balancing what appeared to be a cake on her head. The cake itself was a square, single layer sponge cake covered in a white frosting, and as Pinkie set the cake down on a nearby table, Twilight could see that the top was covered in strawberries.

“Pinkie, I’m pretty sure we don’t need any more cake.”

“Well of course we need more cake, somepony didn’t get a piece.”

“Who didn’t get any cake?”

“Well for one, he didn’t” Pinkie said, her hoof pointing upward.

Twilight’s eyes followed up to the ceiling and saw what her brain could only describe as a frog in a pink scarf. No sooner than she saw it, the frog dropped to the ground, landing on three of its legs to absorb the shock. The frog rose onto its hind legs standing as tall as Princess Celestia (not counting her horn).

“Nin-jaaa greninja (Greetings ponies). Gre’ja greee ja grenin-grenin gre-greninja gre gregre gre-e gre gre-e’gre jaa grenin-gre gre ja grenin (I've come to retrieve something of mine and I don't want things to get ugly).”

Twilight stared at the frog for a moment. She had no clue what it had just said and couldn’t help as an embarrassed smile came across her muzzle. The frog only buried its face in its hands, which Twilight considered was its version of a facehoof.

“ Gre’gre gregre greee Gre greeninja greningre gre-e ja’ja Ja gre Ninja gre Greeninja gre Nin Gre grenin-gre Nin-gre-nin-ja (It's been over a thousand years and you've yet to learn my language or make a proper translator). Gre Gre nin grenin-gre-gre-e ja ja, Nin (Am I not important to you, Tia)? Gre gre-nin-ja gre-e nin grenin Jaa, ja, nin grenin-gre-jaa (I thought you were into cold, wet, and amphibious).

Before Twilight could say anything, she was interrupted by a hoof on her shoulder. She turned to see that it was Princess Celestia. She could tell that the princess wasn’t in a good mood, though she hid it well.

“I’d say it’s a pleasure to see you again, but we both know that isn’t true.”

"Nin gre jaaa grenin-gre grenin gre ja nin gre-e ja, gre-e grenin greningre gre’gre ja grenin nin-ninja (You fire types always find a way to irk me, but once again it’s not very effective)."

“I’ll assume that was a smart remark.”

However, the tension was completely shattered as somepony placed herself between the two.

Surprisingly, it was Rarity.

“I’m sorry princess. I can see that you’re catching up with an acquaintance and I can respect that, but there is an issue I can’t leave ignored.”

All eyes were on Rarity as she pointed an accusing hoof at the frog. The tension was high and a silence filled the air.

“While that scarf certainly suits you, that shade of pink does not go with that shade blue. I could understand it being an accident if it was being used as an accent, but for a key part of your ensemble, it is inexcusable!”

Once again there was silence and everypony thought the same thing.

Seriously?

The frog looked particularly unamused and Twilight watched in awe as its scarf unfurled revealing that it was the creature’s tongue. Rarity’s fate was sealed as her face was engulfed in tongue.

The room was once again silent as everyone prepared themselves for Rarity’s eminent scream. However, Rarity didn’t scream. She just stood there with a shocked expression and a thin coat of saliva on her face. Twilight’s eyes shifted to Pinkie who had walked over to Rarity. She watched as Pinkie gently poked Rarity and jumped as Rarity flopped onto her side, her body giving a slight twitch.

Princess Celestia turned her attention to Fluttershy.

“Fluttershy, could you please take Ms. Rarity to the hospital?”

Fluttershy quickly grabbed Rarity and flew through the main door.

I quickly repositioned my tongue and a smile came across my face. How ironic is it that the white marshmallow pony, actually tastes like marshmallows? But the situation quickly tensed as I remembered there are 4 ponies that are likely angry at me for assaulting their friend as well as an alicorn with a grudge.

I only had a moment before a rainbow blur rushed at me. I loosened my body and initiated my Acrobatics, vaulting over and positioning myself behind her. I took a deep breath and let forth a cold blast. My Blizzard hit and I was left with a frozen Rainbow Dash. My attention was focused on my recent victim and as a result was surprised by a tackle from behind. I was thrown into the wall, leaving a good sized crater.

“Good god that hurt! Note to self: Applejack is part fighting type in addition to the standard earth pony ground type.”

I pried myself from the wall and looked as Applejack prepped herself for another charge, and then I had a fun idea. I clapped my hands together and focused on a spot, as Applejack launched herself towards me. I knew earth ponies could gain some serious speed, but she wouldn’t be fast enough as I watched two blades of grass emerge from the ground, the ends tying into a knot. It was funny watching her trip over the Grass Knot and I stepped out of the way as she slide face first into the crater I made.

“Two down and three to go.”

I turned my head and locked eyes with Twilight and Celestia. That’s odd. Looks like Pinkie managed to get away. Less work for me then. I watched Twilight fire a bolt of magic at me, but I didn’t dodge. There was no need.

Twilight watched as the spell connected with the frog, resulting in an explosion of smoke. Twilight held her breath, hoping her magic had taken down the creature that hurt her friends. Her heart practically stopped as the smoke cleared and the frog walked out unscathed. She watched as the frog’s eyes turned black for a split second, before being overcome with a sense of dread. Her body refused to move as thoughts of hopelessness racked her brain. She watched as the Frog made its way to the princess. She watched as water poured from its hand and shifted into the shape of a sword, the thought of them failing the princess haunting her. She closed her eyes, not wanting to view what would come.

However, she didn’t hear the princess’s dying scream. She instead heard something unknown to her. Twilight opened her eyes and saw a shocking sight. The frog’s tongue was wrapped around its head and holding it in place was Pinkie Pie.

“Why do these ponies keep sneaking up on me?!”

Here I was about to torture Celestia, then out of nowhere this pink pony shows up and now I’m involuntary tasting my face. I’m now lashing out with my sword hoping to get her off me. I hear numerous objects fall apart before I managed to maneuver my hand to grab her, right as I see my sword slice through Sunbutt’s throne. Immediately, I was overwhelmed by a burst of power from the remains of her throne. Sitting in the center of the throne’s base was my Smash Ball.

“Of course! What better place to hide ultimate power, than under her own ass!”

After I threw the pink pony aside and I grabbed the ball, I thought that this plan went easier than I expected.

CRACK!

“Damn you, Murphy.”

I turned my head and took notice of the broken doors, the 12 guards standing in the doorway, and the very angry Lulu standing in the middle.

“And now is when I make my exit.”

I tucked the ball into my item pouch and leapt into the air, bounding across the guards and as soon as I touched ground, I ran for dear life. You would be surprised at how fast webbed feet can run when your adrenaline is pumping and there is angry alicorn chasing you, calling you a “wretched cur”, and firing weird moon magic at you. I’m running as fast I can, avoiding servants and more guards, and just when I think I’ve reached freedom, I run into a dead-end.

“There’re no doors, no windows, and no connecting hallways. What is the point of this?”

So now my back is against the wall and I have no escape route. I reach for my item pouch and…

“Do not thinketh about it. Puteth thy hands where we may seeth them.”

I see Lulu still hasn’t lost that accent. I put up my hands in defeat as she approached me, her horn still aglow lest I try anything. The glow tinted slightly and my wrists were instantly bound in chains. So this is how it ends. I’m freed from captivity, reclaimed all my things, humiliated the Element bearers, and now I’m captured again. All of that and I’m back to square one. I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself at what had happened today.

“Thou laugheth in the face of capture? I commend thee for not cracking under the pressure. However as the winner of our chase, I wisheth thee to bow to me.”

At that point, my legs were knocked out from under me. As I fell to the ground, only two words could be heard.

“Surf’s up.”

As soon as my hands touched the ground, Luna and the guards were immediately surprised by the huge explosion of water that greeted them.

Canterlot was currently buzzing with its everyday activities. However, everypony’s attention was gained by the explosion of the castle’s front doors and the good sized river that was allowed to flow through the center of Canterlot. No sooner did the river appear, than everypony witnessed a large frog in chains floating along seemingly without a care in the world. As the frog floated out of the city and down the mountain side, everypony’s ears were assaulted by a stream of profanities from a sopping wet Princess Luna. Luckily the words she had chosen were about 852 years older than the current Equestrian language and quickly returned to the castle to relive her anger.

Author's Note

First off, I'd like to thank everyone who favorited and liked this story. Its efforts like this that encourage writers to continue their stories.
Second, I'd like to send out a request. For the artists reading this, I'd like to see the possible cover art you could make for this.
If you have any questions, please send them to me.
Thank you and see you next time.

A new friend

(Twilight POV)

Twilight gasped as she sat up; sweat still clinging to her fur. Mild panic overcame her as she noticed she wasn’t in Canterlot Castle, but quickly calmed down as she recognized she was in Canterlot Hospital. She continued to sit as a unicorn stallion with a chestnut coat and a silver mane walked in, a stethoscope around his neck and a bandaged heart for a cutie mark.

“Good morning, Miss Sparkle. How are you feeling?”

“I feel confused. Why am I here?”

“Princess Celestia brought you here. You had a severe panic attack and had passed out. You’ve been unconscious for about 3 days.”

Twilight mentally groaned. Her magic had proven ineffective on the creature that had invaded the castle and she had broken down during the incident.

“Are my friends here?”

“Actually…”

However, the doctor was unable to finish as a pink blur zoomed in and knocked Twilight off the bed she was on.

“Twilight you’re awake! I’m so happy, because if you didn’t wake up, I couldn’t throw you a welcome back party, and if I couldn’t throw you a party, I’d get really depressed, and then I’d start having bad thoughts! Not sad thoughts, but the thoughts that scare other ponies, while putting a weird smile on my face, but I don’t have to have those thoughts because you’re okay!”

“It’s nice to see you too Pinkie.”

Twilight knew better than to question Pinkie’s antics, both the whimsical and the frightening. Pinkie herself looked pretty much the same as always, though her mane had lost some of its volume and color.

“I hate to interrupt the moment, but I assume you would like to see your other friends.”

“Oh, sorry. Thank you Doctor…”

“Second Aid.”

“Why are you Second Aid?”

“Because my father was First Aid.”

Twilight was clueless as to whether that was a joke or if his parents weren’t very creative with names. Nevertheless, Twilight and Pinkie pressed onward, wishing to comfort their friends after their defeat. First up was Applejack. As they entered the room, Applejack laid asleep, the top of her head wrapped in numerous bandages.

“Ms. Applejack? You have visitors.”

Twilight watched her slowly waken, her eyes seemingly hesitant to open.

“Howdy Twi. It’s good to -ow- see ya.” She said putting a hoof to her head.

“How are you feeling?”

“Other than the headaches, the blurry vision that makes everything look like its underwater, and the constant smell of burnt toast, Ah’m fine.”

“Dr. Aid could you tell me what’s wrong with Applejack?”

“Well Ms. Sparkle, your friend here is suffering from a mild concussion. It’s most likely caused by her crashing into one of the castle’s walls. Her condition will be good if she avoids injuring her head anymore. Think you can walk, Ms. Applejack.”

“If my legs haven’t gone to sleep on me.”

Applejack dragged herself out of bed, her legs wobbling a bit from lack of use. Though with helping hooves from Twilight and Pinkie, they moved towards the next room.

As they came to Rainbow’s room, they were met with quite the sight. Rainbow stood there, her front legs and the majority of her barrel was coated in a rather thick layer of ice. Behind Rainbow was a very irritated unicorn nurse attempting to thaw her with a fire spell.

“Are you done yet?”

“No.”

“How about now?”

“No.”

“Can we please hurry? This is so boring!”

“Yes, we can do this faster. However, increasing the temperature of the spell to do that would likely set your wings on fire.”

“Take your time.”

For the sake of the nurse’s sanity, Twilight decided not to enter the room.

“I guess only Rarity is left.”

At the sound of that phrase, Dr. Aid noticeably cringed.

“Dr. Aid? What’s wrong with Rarity?”

“I think it’s better if you see for yourself.”

As Dr. Aid opened the door, Twilight and her friends could only look in silence. Rarity lay in her bed, a vacant look in her eyes and her chest rising and dropping from very shallow breaths. However, the moment was ruined by Pinkie violently shaking Rarity.

“Wake up Rarity! For Celestia’s sake, say something!”

“Ms. Pie, please stop! I doubt Ms. Rarity would appreciate what you’re doing.”

Pinkie was hesitant stop, hoping she could bring her friend back, but ultimately decided the doctor knew what he was doing.

“So doc, what exactly is wrong with her.”

“Well Ms. Applejack, your friend here is exhibiting severe paralysis of her motor functions. She couldn’t move even if she wanted to.”

Twilight was worried. Ponies had been treated for burns from fire spells and dragon flames, poisoning from manticores, and petrification from cockatrices. Paralysis was one of those things ponies never really recovered from. However, ponies usually became paralyzed from brain or spinal cord injury, but Rarity had only been licked. The creature they fought was becoming more dangerous the longer she thought about it.

Fortunately, Twilight’s current mental processing dragged her attention to Pinkie, and she noticed something sticking out of her mane.

“Pinkie, how often do you wash your mane?”

Pinkie’s only response was a shrug.

“When we get back to Ponyville, we are having a serious discussion about personal hygiene” Twilight said as she levitated the item out of Pinkie’s mane.

The item in question was a small bag with a note. The bag held a few small red berries, a fragrant scent given off by them. Twilight began reading the note.

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

First off, I’d like to commend you for noticing the bag in that bottomless pit she calls a mane. Second, the bag’s contents are Cheri berries and are the cure for your marshmallow friend. They can be ingested raw or crushed and mixed with water and served as a drink.

Sincerely,
Greninja

“Pinkie.”

“Way ahead of you Twilight.”

There was no going back as Pinkie poured the concoction down Rarity’s throat. The room was silent in anticipation. Slowly, Rarity began to regain feeling. As soon as she gained full feeling, she let out a blood curdling scream.

PS: They’re a bit spicy.

While Rarity’s screaming wasn’t the most pleasurable, there was a single word that caught everyone’s attention: Fluttershy.

Where was Fluttershy?

(Fluttershy POV)

Fluttershy was doing what she referred to as ‘the most dangerous thing ever.’ Her friends had recently been hospitalized by an unknown creature and she had gotten the idea to follow it. Every fiber of her being was telling her to go back, but there was something driving her forward. Maybe it was curiosity? Maybe it was concern for her friends? Maybe she had spent too much time with Pinkie and Rainbow Dash? All were viable answers.

They had recently entered the Everfree and judging by the direction the creature was traveling, it was heading towards Froggy Bottom Bog. Fluttershy watched as the creature came to a stop, and she jumped into a nearby bush, hoping it wouldn’t see her. The seconds passed slowly and when she opted to peer out, she saw the creature was gone.

“Oh, where could it have gone?”

“I think he went that way.”

“Thank you so much.”

“Don’t mention it.”

It took Fluttershy a moment to register that somepony responded to her. As she turned around, she came face to face with the creature. She was frozen under the gaze of its red eyes.

“…”

“If you’re just going to stand there, I have other things to do.”

“I…I…”

“Repeating the same word doesn’t count as a sentence.”

“Well, you’re…a new animal. I …wanted to… know…more about you.”

“Oooh, somepony who’s curious about me. Well, I would love to stand here and recite my autobiography, but it’s going to rain soon and I assume you don’t want to get soaked.”

Fluttershy didn’t have a moment to speak as it snapped off a large branch from a nearby tree and held it over her. No sooner did the branch get over her, than a brisk shower began.

“If you want, we can have that conversation on the way to my home.”
Fluutershy nodded in agreement and the party began their trek.

(Greninja POV)

Wow, she has a lot of questions. I’ve taken the liberty of skipping forward to near the end, as the prior questions were either already known or no one cared.

“Any more questions?”

“I kinda curious about your accent. It sounds Prench.”

“Prench? Well my species originates from a region known as Kalos, which is based off the country of France, which I’m sure is nearly identical to your country of ‘Prance’.”

I wonder…

"Il y a des centaines de langues dans le monde, mais un sourire est universel. Holy shit I speak French!"

“Um…”

“Oh right, sorry. I’ll watch my language.”

“You had no idea you knew Prench?”

“Nope. Been here for over a thousand year and never tried.”

“How…”

“No more questions. We’re here.”

We stood in front of Froggy Bottom Bog, as the ponies referred to it. Now if I remember correctly, it’s forward 4 paces forward, 8 paces right, and 14 paces to the forward-right, placing me in an area of the shallows. I reached down into the muck, taking hold, and lifting up the trapdoor. I looked down to the stony steps leading into the darkness.

“Shall we?” I gesture to my companion.

She walks over to the hole, her body trembling. I place my hand on her back, making her jump a bit, but overall calming her down. With her boosted confidence, we delved down into the deep, the hatch closing behind us once again covered by the bog.

(Fluttershy POV)

When the hatch closed, Fluttershy expected complete darkness. She was surprised when the light level only seemed to dim. Along the walls was a blue moss giving off a soft glow. As the two of them traveled further down, the moss’s glow was gradually replaced by brilliant torchlight. In the light of the torches, Fluttershy looked at the large iron double door that loomed over them. The designs on the door depicted various animals, all of which Fluttershy didn’t recognize. Her wonder was broken as Greninja gave a sharp knock on the door. A few creaks and shuffles could be heard from the other side, before a slot on the door slid open, revealing a set of pink eyes. The eyes inspected Fluttershy before shifting over to Greninja, at which point they immediately shrink to pinpricks and the slot is closed. A very loud creak is heard as the door slides open. In the door way stands an earth pony mare slightly shorter than Fluttershy, her cream coat contrasting with her brown and pink mane. Her cutie mark depicted an ice cream cone using snowflakes as sprinkles. Fluttershy watches as the mare walks up to Greninja.

“OMG! I can’t believe I’m meeting you. You are a legend.”

“Well the legends are true, Miss…”

“Swirl, Neo Swirl.”

“Well, Miss Swirl, it is a pleasure to be home, and I’ve brought a friend.” He said as he pulled Fluttershy next to him.

“Well let me be the first to welcome you.”

“It’s…a pleasure…to be here.”

The Neo’s focus quickly switched back to Greninja.

“Sir, everyone is going to be so excited to see you. Quickly come inside.”

Without another word, Neo jumped back through the doors.

Fluttershy stood for a moment, wondering if she should turn back.

“If you turn back now, you won’t know the whole story. However, you may not like where the story goes. Do you close the book or do you keep reading?” Greninja said with a smile on his face.

Fluttershy thought about it, and decided if she’d come this far…

“I’m going to keep going.”

Greninja’s smile grew larger at her answer. He walked up to the door, placing his hands on it.

“Well then Miss Fluttershy, let me welcome you to my home.”

Despite the size of the door, he pushed it open with little effort.

“Welcome to Eden.”

Author's Note

The Mane "5" are healing up nice and Fluttershy has made a friend of the enemy.

How will this turn out?

Next time: A tour of Eden and how rivalry with the princesses started.

Princesses, Victory, and Contracts

(Fluttershy POV)

Fluttershy braced herself for what was on the other side. Her mouth hung in amazement at what she saw. She expected something similar to the diamond dog caves, but was surprised when she saw a small town very similar to Ponyville, though the architecture was different (for those wondering, Eden’s architecture is similar to 13th century Japanese architecture). One detail that confused her was the fact that it appeared to be daytime down here. She tilted her head up and noticed the ceiling of the cavern was covered in the same moss that was along the walls of the stairway, the sheer amount of it giving the illusion of day.

“The moss isn’t always blue. It shifts colors regularly during the day, similar to the sky outside.”

Fluttershy looked to see where the voice had come from and was surprised to see Neo Swirl standing next to her. This mare was starting to remind her of Pinkie for whatever reason.

“Miss Swirl would you be so kind as to give Fluttershy a tour of town? Be sure to show her the gardens.”

“As you wish sir.”

Fluttershy was reluctant to leave Greninja, but after some pleading eyes from Neo, the mares were on their way.

(Greninja POV)

I watched as the two departed to see the sights of my little town, before I continued my trek. I’ve been gone a thousand years, and I had business to attend to. I eventually made it to town hall, my home and base of operations. I strolled through the door; several ponies that were going about their tasks stopping to watch my entrance. They likely had questions to ask and information from my absence to present to me. Those could wait. Once again, I was at a set of doors. The doors to my room. I was hesitant and I wasn’t sure why. I shook my mind free of those thoughts, and stepped through. My room was essentially a cave, but I rather enjoyed the natural feel it gave. Aside from my bed, some bookcases, my writing desk, and the numerous notes on the walls, the room was very barren. Across from the entrance was another opening leading to the next area. The detail of this area was the large pool of liquid that took up the majority of the room. More on that in a moment. On the far wall rests a white staff around my height with a large gold ring at the head of it. I lifted it off feeling the texture of the wooden body and the various runes etched into it. I reached into my item pouch removing the Smash Ball and placing it within the ring.

Now to see if it still works.

I pour my will into the staff, and after a click, I see numerous colored shards extend from the ring. 15 out of 18 elemental energies I collected in Equestria. I take a moment to look at the 3 empty slots: Bug, Steel, and Ghost. One that I hadn’t collected out of respect, one that was of inferior quality 1000 years ago, and one that I had no idea how to collect, but knew I would. These were the keys to my success, and they were of utmost priority. Staff in hand, I turned to the pool. I never came up with a name for the substance. After many years experimenting, I deduced what it was.

The primordial ooze for reality. The blood of the multiverse.

As such, I dubbed this area the Origin Point, the area from which this world grew. Traveling along the multiversal arteries, one could travel from one Origin Point to another or one could be ejected from a rift, a rupture in the artery. Despite the use of Oculus, I couldn’t find my universe, only finding more versions of Equestria.

Maybe I’m afraid. The more I use her, the more information I gather and the more my brain warps to compensate.

I tapped my staff on the surface of the pool, the surface freezing, before shattering into several large chunks, each piece showing a different Equestria in its reflection.

Perhaps I require some assistance.

I conjured forth a Substitute doll and cast it into the pool.

“To all who share my fate, should you have need for a blade to part the opposition, sight beyond what should be known, or a torrent to wear away the strongest of fortresses, simply crush the Substitute you have and I shall be there. I am not a pawn or warrior, but a knight of what he believes to be right. I am Greninja, the Ninja Pokemon. I am the Warlord of the Water.”

(Fluttershy POV)

Fluttershy was beginning to lose breath. They had taken the longest path through town and at every location; Neo would immediately drag her to another. The pair stopped, hearing something similar to an intercom clicking on.

“Attention residents of Eden, Lord Greninja has returned and wishes a meeting in town square. I repeat: all residents of Eden please report to town square.”

With Neo fitting the qualification of resident and Fluttershy not wanting to be alone, they departed for the square. As they arrived, they could see that the population of Eden (those who showed up) was about 50 ponies, 10 griffons, 10 juvenile dragons, and 30 black pony-like creatures. Everypony was currently mingling, until a series of loud taps caught their attention. Sitting on top of the central fountain was Greninja, his staff resting across his shoulders, and a placid look in his eyes.

“Today, I would like to welcome you. Even though some of you were born here, your parents, ancestors, and the rest of today’s residents are here because of one thing: your ideals clash with the rest of your kind. Whether by force or fear, you left your homes looking for solace. And it was Eden that appeared before you. That is your reason for being here. But some of you ask why I am here?”

Everypony was waiting in eager anticipation.

“Then I shall tell my story.”

And so Greninja would tell his story. Coincidently, Celestia was telling her side of the story to the currently Mane 5.

(1,037 years ago)

We had been walking for a few minutes, trekking deeper into the forest I had awoken in. I had struck up a conversation with Oculus, hoping she would tell me a bit about herself. She didn’t have much of a history, apparently having only been created a few hours before coming into my possession.

Okay, my turn. Tell me about you.

“What do you want to know?”

Why were you at the convention?

“I’m a fan of cosplay. However, I don’t have the looks for it, so I show my appreciation through photography.”

You must have quite the eye for detail. Despite the amount of people there, you were the only one to notice Master’s stall.

“Master?”

The one who gave me to you and presented you with your new form.

Guy definitely wasn’t human, but who gives a guy a “magic” monocle, turns him into a pokemon, and dumps him in a random forest?

“Hey, Oculus.”

Yes?

“There’s something that’s been bothering me.”

I’m listening.

“The footprints we saw back there weren’t made by humans.”

Then what made them?

“Well the spacing of the footprints suggests that the creatures are quadrapedal. The shape lacked digits, suggesting hooves, so it could be some form of sentient equine life form.”

Aren’t humans the only sentient life form?

“That would imply we’re on Earth.”

How did you come to that conclusion?

“The sun’s wrong. We’ve been walking for exactly one hour and forty-eight minutes. So the sun should have moved about twenty-seven degrees.”

I tilted up towards the sun above us.

“However, the sun above us has yet to move. A very strange occurrence.”

There’s something else wrong. The colors are bothering me, but that could be due to the new body.

I pushed aside some shrubbery and was met with quite the sight; a moderate sized gorge over which was a rope bridge. On the other side, is a small castle that looked to have been constructed in the past couple of years. On the castle grounds, several equine life forms adorned in golden armor seemed to be on patrol.

Too small to be classified as horses, maybe they’re ponies?

processing…

Ponies, sun not moving normally, and the weird colors…

“This is Equestria, isn’t it?”

What’s Equestria?

“I’ll summarize it as ‘Magical Pony Friendship Land’.”

And you know of this place, how?

“I’ve seen many fans of the show at conventions and experienced many bored nights on the internet.”

Ok, one last question.

“Go ahead.”

What’s the internet?

“A cesspool of contradictions, stupidity, vulgarity, and perversion.”

Wow. That raises even more questions, but I can wait.

Ok, 20 questions is currently paused. Now time to assess the situation.

The building ahead of me is The Castle of the Two Sisters, making the forest behind me The Everfree. The current condition of the castle suggests that I’m at an earlier point than the show. A meeting with the princesses is inevitable, but I would like to avoid the guards.

I reach up to scratch my head in thought, and feel extra weight on my hand. I look down and noticed a rock stuck to my hand.

A few minutes later and I had successfully crossed the gorge undetected. I then began my ascent of the outer wall, pressing myself against the wall to try and make myself less noticeable. After a brief pause to let a patrol pass, I made it up, spotted my next destination (an open window), and made a flying leap. I managed to jump far enough to grab the window sill, and quickly scampered in.

“Thank God for frog legs.”

I cringed as my brain went straight for the idea of food.

After engaging in more Metal Gear shenanigans (sadly there was not a single cardboard box), I reached what appeared to be the central chamber.

“Huh. I was expecting better security.”

That single moment of peace was interrupted by the press of metal against my throat.

Me and my big mouth.

“State thy business and why I shouldst not remove thy head.”

“Interior decorator and because blood stains are very hard to remove.”

Yes, he’s an interior decorator, who managed to enter without being spotted by a single guard.

“You’re not helping.”

It’s not like she can hear me.

“I know, but it feels like your calling bullshit on my excuse.”

I turned around to face my possible executioner. I look slightly down to see a mare a little more than half my height, a confused look on her face. She’s an earth pony with a white coat, a gold mane, and large emerald green eyes. On her flank rests her cutie mark, 3 gold diamonds. Though she’s not adorned in armor, she’s still threatening with her right hoof wrapped around what appears to be a halberd, which is currently pressing against the back of my neck. It looks like she snapped out of it.

“I will ask thou once more. State thy business.”

“Ok, you caught me. I’m Celestia’s illegitimate son, and I’ve come to collect child support.”

Once again she has a look of confusion. This is starting to get annoying.

“State thy business.”

“DOTH THOU EVEN SPEAK THE QUEEN’S ENGLISH?!”

Everything was silent.

Oh God, she’s angry. Pokemon powers don’t fail me now.

I bring my hands together and hope for something. At that moment, I notice my shadow start to extend behind her, before peeling off the ground into a standing position. She definitely got the “Oh shit, someone’s behind me” vibe as she turned her head, flipped out, and proceeded to bring her halberd down on it.

A tad violent, but I’ll take it.

I immediately make a break for it, the angry mare giving chase, most likely wishing to claim my skull.

We made our way through the various halls of the castle, till I was out of her line of sight and ducked into one of the rooms, closing the door behind me. My back against the door, I finally have a moment of peace.

“Tia, we appear to have a guest.”

I look up and am face to face with the princesses themselves, and they appear to be partaking in…tea and cake?

“Why am I always late for tea? A gentleman is never late for tea.”

“It seems one of the forest’s creatures managed to circumvent the guards. Perhaps we should rethink the training regimen.”

THWACK

The door broke off the hinges, collapsing on top of me, most likely with My Little Psycho to blame.

“General Victory, must you break the door?”

“A thousand pardons, Princesses. This is one tries my patience and refuses to answer my questions.”

“Save thy breath. You attempt to speak with a beast. Thy mark insures great favor, but this is a task thou cannot complete.”

I stick my head out from under the door, managing to catch a glimpse of Victory.

Wow, she looks down trodden and that’s understandable, your benevolent ruler just indirectly called you a failure, and with a name like Victory that must sting. Plus, they’re questioning if I’m even sentient.

Ok, time to see what other moves this body knows.

I began to feel pressure on my palms. Whatever this is, it’s big.

I overhear what sounds like Celestia telling Victory to get off me. The moment she hopped off the door, the pressure exploded and there was water everywhere. If saw the event from outside, you would see a torrent rush from every opening in the castle, and me being launched out one of the windows and into the forest.

(Present Day)

“And that is where I will leave off for today.”

The crowd was filled with chatter, and they were eager for more. However, they knew I would speak no more, so they dispersed to resume their prior business, including Neo and Fluttershy’s touring session. I excused myself to my sanctum to reflect on my thoughts.

To reflect on why I’m here.

(1,037 years ago)

I scraped myself off the ground, brushing away the rocks that were imbedded from my landing.

“Hope this little incident doesn’t come to bite me in the ass.”

“Now what fun would that be? It’s like playing on easy: no challenge.”

I look over to see the guy from the convention, smugly propped against one of the trees. I’m overcome with anger as I rush and pin him to the tree.

“You’re awfully hot-blooded for an amphibian.”

“Hot-blooded? How could I not be? You took me away from everything I knew. Let’s see how much water pressure it takes to sever your arm.”

“Calm yourself, Isaac.” As he grabbed arms and effortlessly removed them from his person.

I’m still disturbed from that moment as I watch the dude’s body dissolve, turning to smoke, before dispersing. All that remained was the gloves he wore.

“What the fuck?”

“Now time to discuss the details of your contract.”

“Contract?”

“The one you signed back at the convention.”

“I didn’t sign up for this.”

“Actually, you did. Despite your eye for detail, you neglected to look over what you signed.”

The gloves release me, before pulling a piece parchment out of nowhere.

“Let’s see here. The signer (that’s you) in exchange for entry into The Tournament of Smash, agrees to perform the duty of scouting new fighters for the contractor (that’s us). You will find 5 challengers, each one identified by an invitation which will be summoned at the time of approval. Your position as scouter is of neutral persuasion, as such you are forbidden from persuading the challenger into accepting or declining. The tournament does not begin till every challenger from every universe has accepted. So don’t worry about meeting a deadline.”

“Ok, I have a few questions.”

“Go ahead.”

“Why am I a Greninja?”

“There are so many Greninja in the Pokemon universe, and you seemed like the easiest way to get a challenger from there.”

“What moves can I do?”

“Every move you’re capable of learning.”

“Why Equestria?”

“It seems popular, and I’m open to new ideas.”

“When can I have my old body back?”

“After the tournament, if you still want it.”

…

…

“Ok, I’m game.”

“Excellent. You’ll need this.” He says as he hands me what appears to be a strap-on pouch.

“What’s this?”

“An item pouch containing every item that will be available in the tournament. Almost every item. No assist trophies or pokeballs.”

I take the bag and decide to strap it around my thigh.

“I expect great thing things from you, Isaac.”

“Isaac was left on Earth. I am Greninja and I look forward to the tournament, Master.”

The moment we shook hands was the moment my fate was sealed.

Author's Note

Looks like our protagonist has gotten himself into some deep waters.

Ok, that was bad and I should feel bad.

Sorry about the late chapter. Having to deal with schedule problems.

Let's see what tangent Greninja's story goes on?

Till next time.