The Truth is Hard to Swallow
"Alright, Derpy, just let me check your weekly record, and you can head on home," said Paperweight, the chief delivery pony at the Ponyville Post Office.
Derpy bounced excitedly in place, a small smile stretched across her face. Paperweight looked up from his clipboard, before donning a grin himself.
"Wow, you sure are excited today, is there any particular reason?" he asked in his gritty, jovial voice.
Derpy gave a hearty nod, causing her mane to fall a little out of place. "I sure do," she blurted out. "I'm gonna go see Mr. Whooves today!"
Paperweight looked curiously at her. "You mean that Time Turner fellow?"
Derpy nodded furiously once more.
"If I may ask, what's the reason behind that nickname?"
Derpy looked shyly to the side. "Oh, he just reminds me of somepony," she said, staring slightly cock-eyed at nothing in particular.
Paperweight blew a small puff of air out of his nose, before he smiled and turned back to his clipboard.
"Wow, only two mixups this week!" He looked up at Derpy, who sat on her haunches and gave a determined salute. However, her right eye drifted a little to the right, making her look like her goofy, adorable self.
"I've been working extra hard this week, boss!" she replied while jumping back to her hooves.
"Alright, you can grab your bag and head over to Mr. Whoove's house," he said with a smirk,
Derpy immediately bounced from her spot and ran behind the desks, before picking up a brown mailbag carefully tucked in one of the shelves. The tanned leather was littered with stickers of muffins, and one rather curious blue one, which resembled a booth of some sort. She hopped back out and gave a wave to Paperweight before lolloping out the door.
The morning sunlight felt great upon her face. She closed her eyes for a minute, simply letting the warmth of the morning light heat up her cheeks and massage her coat. She took a deep breath and let out a calm, relaxed wave of air before she began walking through Ponyville. Most of the town hadn't woken up yet, as all the mail was delivered in the wee hours of the morning. What was best about getting out of work at this time was being able to see everyones' faces as they opened up their mail. It filled Derpy's heart with a special kind of warmth that made her feel like she had a place in the world. She let out a smile as she saw Mrs. Cake open her front door and walk out to her mailbox. Suddenly, she saw a pink, puffy mane peer out of the door, attached to an even brighter pink pony, who hopped quietly to Mrs. Cake.
"DO WE HAVE ANY MAIL?!" said the pink pony with a shout. Derpy saw Mrs. Cake jump with alarm at the pony's sudden outburst before she said something that Derpy couldn't hear. She sorted through the mail and passed a small stack of colorful envelopes to the pink pony. She shuffled through them quickly, only stopping to giggle at one of them before she got to the last one in the stack. "Huh?!" yelled the pink one with another shout, which caused Mrs. Cake to jump once again. "How did I get Twilight's mail?"
Derpy put on a surprised, slightly embarrassed expression, even though the two mares were rather far away. Looks like it was three mixups this week.
She continued down the street, passed Golden Oak Library and took a left at Quills and Sofas. She recognized Mr. Whooves' house just down the street. She stopped for a second, a sudden feeling of worry and panic washing over her. What if Mr. Whooves didn't like her? They had friends for a while, but it wasn't usually any more than a wave and a "hello,". Only a few weeks ago did they actually start doing things together.
That's when Mr. Whooves asked her if she wanted to come to his house. Derpy said yes, thinking it would be fun, but now that she was but a few trots away from fun, she was starting to feel a nervous knot in her stomach. Derpy let a small, inaudible whimper escape her lips as she tried to force her body to walk forward, only to have her brain freeze right back up.
What if he realizes he doesn't like something I do? thought Derpy. Or what if my eyes freak him out too much? Derpy would always try her best to keep her eyes as straight as she could around him, though she wasn't sure how successful she was. She thought about just turning back and heading home, but if she did, Mr. Whooves might think that she didn't like him.
If this were just some regular day when they hung out, she would feel comfortable. She loved making friends, but just the way that Time Turner had asked Derpy to come had made it seem like such a... private affair.
Derpy sat there panicking for a few moments before she let out a shaky breath. She promised that she would come, so she could at least do that. She began walking forward nervously, before approaching his front door.
Time Turner sat restlessly at his table, staring intently at a large hourglass. The sand was slowly and evenly piling to the bottom, passing the mark that read "8:55 a.m.". As if on cue, a toaster popped up with crispy golden toast. The aroma of succulent hay bacon filled the air with it's intoxicating scent. Time Turner had begun cooking several things this morning, starting each one at a very specific moment, so that the various items would finish simultaneously. He had bacon, eggs, toast – that he was currently buttering – and as he did so, he heard a "ding" from the oven just under him.
The most important part.
He switched the oven off and opened the swinging door before putting on a pair of oven hooves and delving inside. He pulled out a tray with six blueberry muffins, which he quickly learned to be one of Derpy's favorites. He took a step back and examined it all before peeking back at the hourglass. The sand was halfway through to the 8:57 mark, which meant that Derpy would be here soon, and he had to set out the food. He quickly got the bacon out of its pan and dabbed off some of the grease, before placing it in a sizable stack of it's brethren. The toast was placed in a small plate once it had been fully buttered, with a few small bowls of assorted jelly to go with it. Quickly, he ran each of his various foodstuffs to the table, which had been set with a nice white cloth and a decorative hourglass. The same one he had been monitoring feverishly all morning.
Once he was done, he glanced quickly at the hourglass. The sand had just risen to the "9:00 a.m." mark. Time Turner breathed a sigh of relief. Right on schedule. Hopefully Derpy would arrive soon, he wouldn't want to serve her a cold breakfast. Mr. Whooves took a nervous glance out the window. He hoped Derpy would like it.
Just then, he heard a small, nervous tap on his front door. Time Turner looked at his door in terror and longing. He wanted Derpy to enjoy the beautiful breakfast he had prepared, but he just couldn't make his body move toward the door. There was some more knocking, before he heard the all to familiar voice. "Are you in there, Dr. Whooves?"
"There was that nickname, again" thought Time Turner. He wasn't sure why she called him by that cognomen, but for whatever reason, it stuck with her. Time Turner trotted over to the door, before taking a tentative look through the peephole. He saw Derpy sitting there with a nervous look, her eyes crossed like scissors. She raised her hoof to to knock again, but she hesitated and bit her lip. She let her head droop down sadly, before she stood up and began slowly walking off.
Suddenly, Time Turner felt a wave of desperation shoot through him. His skin felt a chill wash through it and he felt a small falling sensation in his stomach. He didn't want her to leave, but for the life if him, he couldn't make his body move. Never in his life had he felt a sensation this debilitating. He had never had trouble with mares before, they never affected him like this... So why Derpy?
Something about her adorably innocent disposition and her vibrant and aloof personality that just filled his body with a warm sensation. Something about her helplessly crossed eyes that just made him feel fuzzy and hopeful. She was such a nice person, even if she was sometimes scorned for her appearance, and Time Turner was about to let her walk away.
"Wait!" said Time Turner as he exploded from his front door. Derpy was caught off guard by the sudden noise, and turned to face it, a look of effort on her face as she tried to straighten her eyes.
"Dr. Whooves!" she called back in a half happy, half surprised tone. "You're home," she said through a relieved smile.
Time Turner's chestnut cheeks instantly began to irradiate with a dim red glow, as if two soft, crimson lights had been pointed at his cheeks. He stared at the gray mare before her. The calm, easygoing way she spoke softened the stallion like heated butter. As he stared at her in his cheek emblazoned stupor, he slowly began to realize why Derpy made him nervous they way she did.
He almost couldn't believe it.
Before he could think on it any further, Derpy's unsuspecting and innocent voice snapped him out of it.
"Are you alright, Mr. Whooves?" she said with a worried expression.
"O-oh yes!" blurted out Time Turner. "Come in! Come in," he said a bit quicker than he had intended to.
Derpy happily trotted inside, brown leather saddlebag slung around her wing. She stopped just as she reached the doorway, before she caught smell of the delicious breakfast. Her ears perked up like a dog hearing a suspicious noise, before she looked at the breakfast. Her eyes lit up like twinkling amber night-lights.
"Muffiiiins!" she squeaked out with glee. She turned to Dr. Whooves with a smile that looked like she was about to cry.
Time Turner was caught off guard by the sudden shift in attitude. She looked like she was about to shed tears of joy, over... muffins.
"May I have one?" she asked, her wide, shining eyes melting Time Turner's very heart.
"Yeah," he said, just above a mesmerized mumble.
She practically jumped into the chair, before snatching a muffin in her hooves. Time Turner expected her to take an enormous bite into the treat, but instead, she just looked at it. She took an almost dainty nibble, before letting her head tilt back in satisfaction. She took another bite, before she turned to Time Turner and grinned at him, her cheeks still slightly distended. Time Turner let out a giggle, before he walked over and took a seat next to her. He just watched as Derpy finished the muffin, as happily as only she could. As he looked, he found his gaze drifting to her eyes again. They shone like two amber lights that attracted Whooves like a dumbstruck moth. It was as if the world began to fade around her.
"I, I'm in... I..." muttered Time Turner without thinking.
"What was that Dr. Whooves?" asked Derpy, a few crumbs stuck to her lips.
"Oh! Uh," Time Turner struggled to find a suitable excuse. "I said I was just wondering, how you uh, like the muffins!" he blurted out.
"They're the best muffins I've ever had!" she said enthusiastically.
A satisfying tingle slowly crawled down Time Turner's spine. He had to resist the urge to give Derpy a half lidded smile, but the pure high he was getting from this gray mare's presence was all to real. Suddenly, he felt himself leaning in closer to her. His eyes, slowly closing, his lips drawing to a pucker.
Wait, what am I doing?! he thought. Suddenly he withdrew. Did I just try to...
Thankfully, Derpy hadn't noticed.
Time Turner jumped out if his seat abruptly. "I need to use the restroom!" he half stated, half blurted out.
Derpy picked up her second muffin. "Okay!"
Dr. Hooves calmly walked to his staircase, and once he was out of eyeshot, he shot into a full gallop. He planted a hoof in the ground and slid into his bathroom, closing the door with a swing of his hooves.
He turned around and took a look at himself in the mirror. His eyes were narrow and his cheeks were still slightly red. He looked like an addict who was in desperate need of his fill, and the drug he craved was sitting downstairs. Eating muffins.
"No!" he whispered at his reflection angrily. "This was just supposed to be a breakfast!"
He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the mirror. He knew this was hopeless.
He was in love.
He liked Derpy, more than most ponies... but how had this happened? Of all people, why did he fall in love with her?
He took a hard gulp. What now? Well there was only one course of action. He must woo the ditzy Derpy.
Derpy saw Dr. Whooves disappear up the stairs, before she heard the stallion galloping like a maniac, sending quite the racket downstairs.
Must've really had to go, thought Derpy with a giggle, as she sunk her teeth into the second muffin. She was so nervous about this whole breakfast thing, but now she realized there was nothing to be afraid of. Dr. Whooves was a friend! There was no reason to get worked up over a friend.
Of course she had thought about what they would be like as a couple, how could she not? In her mind, she thought he would make a nice stallionfriend, but she just couldn't picture Mr. Whooves in that position. Normally he was a very calm, collected and punctual pony. It just seemed so out of character for him to turn all sappy and dopey for the sake of romance.
This morning was the jitteriest she'd ever seen him. He looked like he was worried about her liking the breakfast which was sweet of him, but still. She just couldn't see it.
She took a final bite into her muffin, her eyes crossed together in deep thought as she pondered her friend. As she thought, she looked around his house. He had a lot of hourglasses. Big, small, fancy, plain, wood, glass, you named it. His Cutie Mark wasn't earned for nothing. The morning rays shone in from his square windows and bounced purely and brightly of his dark wooden floor. The table matched the wooden floorboards, with small latticed engravings carved up the legs and adorning the tabletop. His kitchen was a smaller, walk in one, but the way he had everything laid out made it look as if there were more space than there actually was.
She looked around, examining his vast assortment if hourglasses and other furniture, before her eyes wandered to the staircase.
There was Dr. Whooves, looking at her with a gentle smile. She wasn't sure how long he had been there, and she hadn't heard him come down.
"Are you enjoying the breakfast?" he asked gingerly. He felt like he had said that already.
"Yes, Mr. Whooves!" said Derpy regardless.
Time Turner trotted down the steps and rejoined Derpy at the table. He noticed that she had fixed herself a plate of some of his other breakfast items, including a few strips of bacon, an egg, and a slice of toast.
"So how was work?" inquired Time Turner, trying to create as much filler as he could before he tried to make any serious moves. He was still having countless doubts about this whole endeavor.
"It was really good! I only had three mixups the entire week!"
"Wow!" exclaimed Time Turner, a little worry intermixed within his awe. "This is one of your best weeks!"
"I know!" answered Derpy gleefully. "Paperweight was really proud of me,"
"Ol' Paperweight's still working at the post office, huh? How's his son?"
"Featherweight? Oh he's good. It's funny how scrawny he is compared to his dad,"
"Is he planning on following his father's footsteps in the post office?"
"I don't know," said Derpy. "I think Paperweight said he might get into journalism,"
"It suits him, with his little camera and all," chuckled out Time Turner.
Derpy grabbed a strip of bacon and took a small bite. Time Turner watched anxiously, trying to gauge the perfect time to make a move. Every moment seemed as good as the last, but Mr. Whoove's nerves kept telling him to wait.
Time Turner decided that now was as good a time as any. Time to break the ice!
"Uh, Derpy?" asked Time Turner, a bead of sweat forming above his brow. "Can I ask you a question?"
Derpy seemed a bit intrigued by this. "Sure, Mr. Whooves, Ask me anything!"
"I was just wondering... Do you like me?"
Derpy didn't bat an eye. "Of course I like you! You're one of my best friends,"
Dr. Whooves looked away from Derpy, an embarrassed look on his face. "No, I don't mean like that, I mean that... Uh," He could feel a knot building in his throat. If he didn't say it now, he wouldn't be able to speak. "No Derpy, I mean do you... Do you," his mind had been telling him to fall back the entire time, and his conscious had been worn to dust. "I mean, do you like the breakfast?"
Derpy gave Time Turner a concerned look. "Are you ok, Mr. Whooves?"
Time Turner let out a worried sigh. "No, I'm not," said Time Turner with a defeated breath.
"What's the matter?"
He looked up at Derpy, he looked heartbroken. "You," said Time Turner with a shaky voice.
Derpy went wide eyed and cross eyed with one expression. "Oh, I'm sorry!" she said with remorse. "Did I eat too many muffins? I didn't mean to," she said before lowering her head with genuine shame.
"Oh, who am I kidding!" yelled Time Turner. He grabbed Derpy by her shoulders, who froze in fear as she looked up at Time Turner. She wasn't sure if she had made him angry, and she didn't quite know what to expect next...
But instead, she felt a pair of warm lips press against hers. Derpy opened her eyes in genuine surprise. She wasn't sure what to do... Should she pull away? Should she just let him finish the kiss? Should she, maybe, kiss back? Derpy stood rather stiffly against Time Turner, who had his eyes closed passionately as he held Derpy in a large, loose hug. There was a wave of relief that settled Dr. Whooves stomach and cleared his mind. The world disappeared into blurs and background noises as he held the mare that had stolen his heart.
Finally, she felt his lips part from hers, and his eyes opened slowly. He noticed Derpy's surprised expression, and quickly backed away from her.
"Derpy!" he said, his face transforming into a visage of embarrassment and shame. "I'm so sorry," he said with a grave drawl. "I don't know what came over me,"
Derpy just sat there trying to process what had just happened. She put a hoof to her lips and felt them, as if she hadn't realized they were there.
"Please forgive me, I know I messed up, but please!" he waited a few moments before he looked toward the floor, depression suddenly weighing down on him. He had ruined their friendship, all because he couldn't keep himself from jumping all over this innocent pony.
"You can leave if you like," said the doctor in a low, disappointed drone. "I'm sorry I ruined your breakfast..."
He took a final look at Derpy, who still sat there in her stupor, before walking slowly up the stairs. He walked inside of his bedroom and lightly closed the door behind him before crawling dejectedly onto his mattress. He let out a long, cold, weary breath. His face felt hot and his stomach was lurching with discomfort. He laid down rested his head in his soft pillow. Suddenly, a hot bead of salty liquid rolled down his cheek before leaving a small stain in his mahogany bed sheet. Here he was, reduced to tears like a little filly over something he'd done to himself.
Derpy would likely stop hanging out with him for good. The awkward fog that would surely pollute the air between them would be too much to ignore; it would be easier to just stop talking. Thinking about this only made Time Turner even more depressed than he already was. He felt a second tear welling beside is eye, but he refused to let it fall. It hit the bed sheets with a dull, penitent tap.
He turned to lay on his back and look at the ceiling. His fan caught his attention, so he chased one of the blades with his eyes for awhile. It distracted his conscious just enough to stop him from physically crying.
Knock knock knock!
Time Turner sat up and looked at his bedroom door. "C-come in," he stuttered out in a shaky voice.
The door opened slowly, with Derpy just barely peeking out.
"Mr. Whooves?" she said gingerly and slowly. She seemed like she was a little sad herself.
"Yeah?" he responded in a neutral tone, trying his best to cover up his shaky voice.
"You... You didn't..." she took a hard gulp. Whatever she was about to say, she seemed nervous about it. "You didn't ruin my breakfast,"
Time Turner's expression hardly changed. He heard her say it, but he wasn't sure if his ears were just hearing her wrong.
"I didn't expect the surprise at the end, but it didn't ruin it," she spoke so gently and honestly.
"It didn't?" said Time Turner with a quaver in his voice. Was this really happening?
"I'm sorry, I panicked... Nopony's ever tried to do that to me," the meaning behind Derpy's words were so hard to decipher. What did she come up here for?
"I didn't mean to be so abrupt," apologized Time Turner.
"It's okay," said Derpy neutrally.
"You don't hate me?"
Derpy shook her head gently, but resolutely. "I'd never hate you, Mr. Whooves,"
There was a long, calming silence between the two of them. Derpy wore a mask of ambiguous emotion, further encrypted by her slightly crossed eyes. Time Turner looked as if Celestia herself had pardoned a crime on his behalf.
Finally, someone broke the silence. It was Derpy.
"That was my first kiss," she said quietly, her cheeks turning pink.
Time Turner wasn't sure how to respond. He just nodded his head, taking in the information.
Derpy took a tentative step into his room. "Did you... Like it?" she asked nervously, her cheeks burning a deeper shade of red,
Time Turner have a second, calm nod. "Did you?" he asked back, a small glimmer of hope in his eyes.
Derpy turned her head to the side, like she was trying to hide from something. "Well, I was a little shocked when it happened, so I don't really know if I did..." her honesty left a small stinging pain in his heart. Time Turner looked away from Derpy, the shame of his mistake rekindling his depression.
"Mr. Whooves," Derpy said nervously. "I was wondering if I could come over for breakfast tomorrow,"
Time Turner looked back up at Derpy, a little happiness returning to his eyes.
"This time, I'll try to pay attention if it happens again," she gave a soft smile with her slightly cocked eyes. Time Turner smiled back at her, that warm sensation returning to his body.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Dr. Whooves," said Derpy as she gave the brown stallion a small wave and closed the bedroom door.
Time Turner stared at the door for a second, before lying on his back one more. He had a giddy, vibrant smile on his face as he lied there. He heard Derpy's hoofbeats against his wooden floor as she walked downstairs, opened the front door, and left.
He couldn't wait until he'd hear them walking back in, tomorrow morning.
