White Feathers

by Christopher Cloppin

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Romance
Length: 7960

Life doesn't always work out the way you think it should. One moment, you're in the lap of luxury, and the next you're up shit creek without a paddle. And yet, even here, I've found my light within the darkness: Princess Celestia.

Life doesn't always work out the way you'd think it should. One moment, you're relaxing in the lap of luxury, and the next you're sent up shit creek without a paddle. But even in the worst of situations, you can make the best of it if you meet the right type of special someone—or somepony. For me, that just so happens to be the princess of these magical pony lands: Princess Celestia.

Commissioned by Anonymous. Contains religious overtones.

Published 2014-05-03 20:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-03 20:00:02 UTC

White Feathers

It had been such a long time since I had seen the sun shine so beautifully. Its golden rays gently caressed the treetops, turning grasslands into fields of gold, and reflecting off sparkling rivers. It was truly a sight to behold. And to think that, even now, so many people take it for granted.

Or... for this world, should I say pony?

It was difficult at first to wrap my mind around that term. Out there, in a world completely different from my own, where the inhabitants were not men, but colorful equines! Ponies that could walk, talk, fly, and so much more. Magic, even. Honestly. Magic.

Yea, it was difficult to wrap my mind around all that. For five whole minutes. In the vast scope of my night-infinite age, technicolor horses is peanuts. Right next to lasersquids and llamaphants in absurdity. I could appreciately briefly the novelty of it all, but soon enough I took the ponies, with their earthfolk, pegasi, and unicorns in stride.

It was the alicorns, really, which intrigued me most.

I could remember even then the very first day that I’d entered their world—naked, scarred, and almost completely defenseless. I‘d been exhausted and battered from my journey, and I was all but at the mercy of the talking horses. I feared for my life, of course. Previous experiences with such situations suggested that I might have been thoroughly “boned.” At least, that is how you mortals—quaint as you are—would say. I could only pray that my captors were benevolent.

To my obvious relief, my prayers were answered. Celestia, the pony princess of the land, was quick to attend to me. I was quite surprised at her hospitality towards a complete and naked stranged. I’d never guessed that a ruler would treat someone from another world with such benevolence and genuine sympathy.

While my wounds were being treated, Celestia made it a point to visit me daily. Often it was to learn more about me and the world from which I came. I answered cryptically, at best. Outright refusing to say another word at worse. I knew she was not pleased with my responses, even if she never voiced it out loud. It was clear from the faint twitches in her lips, or the slight furrowings of her brow. Goodness me she tried so hard to hide those. But I was bound to my duty, and in a way, I think she knew that as well. She could tell I was more or less an honest person, and that my reasons for keeping secrets were a necessary secret.

Perhaps she’d thought that, in time, I’d become more open to her. I half-wished she would be right. But only half.

It had been a relatively uneventful day, as far as days go in Equestria. I felt the tickle of a chill run up my spine, followed shortly by a cool breeze. I’d been healed of my wounds for weeks, yet it was only then that I was allowed to roam free without guidance. I suppose that was less about security and more Celestia taking extra measures to keep me from hurting myself. Again. Truly, her hospitality knew no limit or bounds. Strange concept, that was, but I didn’t argue against it. Rather, I was grateful.

Being up in the sky, so high above Equestria, so near to the sun... I felt oddly at peace in my heart. I hadn’t even recognized at first. It had been so long since I’d sensed that feeling, I hardly knew what it was. It was both comforting and strange, like finding the missing piece to a puzzle you’d long since abandoned.

I mulled over these strange feelings, compiling them with all the others so I could think on them a bit more. See, I’m not usually much of a talker, if I can help it. Thinking is more my strong suit. There, in the sky, I couldn’t be interrupted. I had all the time in the world, left to my own thoughts. Arguments with myself would never grow heated—and, at any rate, I usually agreed with myself.

Makes verbal conversation seem downright dull, if you ask me.

In case you haven’t already guessed: yes, I’m a bit of a loner by trade. Or, I was. The term feels almost trivial now. In Equestria, anyone and everyone wanted to be your friend, and—well, it wasn’t always easy to say no to such adorable ponies.

As I flew, I heard the fluttering of wings behind me. The sounds, the windflap patterns, the air currents—it was only too easy to guess who it was behind me. Most pegasi aren’t so obviously massive.

“So, Princess Celestia, what brings you here today?” I asked.

We landed beside each other on the roof of the castle. “Oh, just out here for the view,” she said, the faint ghost of a smile upon her lips. She settled down and tucked her wings to her side. “I’ve always thought that Canterlot looks most beautiful from above.”

My eyes glanced downward to the city she spoke so highly of. Relative to the natural beauty of Equestria, the city and castle were… lacking, to say the least. Not to say they weren’t... alright, I suppose, but I’ve seen grander cities. Greater empires. Anything you dared to compare them to just wouldn’t cut it.

Yet, even so... I suppose Canterlot could be called pretty when the sun dipped below the horizon, its waning light turning the city to a soft, yellow gold.

“You could easily get this sort of view from a window,” I said, giving her a sideways glance. I flashed a smirk. “So, why from the roof all of a sudden?”

She returned my smirk with one of her own, mischievous and playful. A side of her that never showed in court, or on the throne. “I could ask you the same question, Azazel.”

I shrugged. “Ah, well, then I suppose I’m here for the view as well.” I looked beyond the city, back to the untouched nature of the Equestrian countryside. Hardly scarred at all by pollution or war. “It is rather beautiful.”

“It is indeed,” Celestia replied. We both took a few moments to appreciate the sight as the last golden rays of sun disappeared and the dark of night filled the sky.

“Is that you, lowering the sun right now, or is that your sister’s doing?” I asked, curious. I still had yet to figure out all of Equestria’s supposed magic.

Celestia smiled at me. “I raise the sun for dawn and bring down the moon. Luna raises the moon, and so sets the sun. We begin our own times new and fresh as we bring each other’s to a well-deserved rest.” Celestia chuckled lightly under her breath. “And it keeps the sibling bickering down… at least, for that part of the job.”

“Interesting…” I felt another gust of wind crawl along my back, raising goosebumps on my skin. I held back a shiver. “I take it bickering is a big part of the job?”

“Spend five minutes in the court and you’d know well enough.”

I actually did shiver at that. “Ugh, no thanks. I’m only just out of the hospital. I’d hate to end up in the emergency room again just for cutting off my ears.”

“Oh, don’t worry, you only get that feeling at first. Then it gets much worse.” She gave me a wink and nudged me lightly with her wing. “When you begin fantasizing inflicting injuries on other ponies, that’s when you know you’ve gone off the deep end.”

I grinned. “Well, I’d rather prefer a hospital bed over a career in politics any day.” I tapped my chin a few times and hummed. “Though, I suppose even politics would be a delightful break from the hospital food.”

“Oh, please. I had some of my best chefs prepare your food.”

I chuckled, ever so slightly under my breath. Celestia looked to me, confused. “What? What could you possibly be laughing about?”

“Oh, nothing.” I coughed, stifling a grin. “Nothing.”

“No, you were laughing about something.” She nudged me with her shoulder, her multihued, translucent mane flowed past me like a river through the air. I couldn’t help but brush my fingers through the airy locks of her mane. And, of course, she couldn’t help but pout because of it. “Playing with my mane isn’t answering my question, Azazel.”

I smirked, letting her mane flow again with the breeze. “I just find it interesting you’d get some of the best chefs in your castle to prepare food for someone such as myself.” Her cheeks reddened ever so slightly. “Along with the best medical care available as well.”

“Well, I, ah... just needed to be assured that my guest from another world was healing accordingly,” Celestia answered, averting her eyes from my gaze. Her coat, like the purest snowfall in the dead of winter, was definitely a few shades redder. “It’s the duty of a responsible leader, is all.”

“Does that responsibility also take into account visiting me each and every day?”

This time it was Celestia’s turn to smirk. “No, hardly. That was just to annoy you.”

“Not that it worked.”

“Then I’ll just have to step up my efforts.”

We shared a grin, then turned to look back at the deepening twilight. The sky was shifting from orange to blue, stars poking out here and there up above—tantalizingly near, and yet oh so far away. The final rays of the sun were fading now, taking their gentle warmth along with them... but only for the night.

“You know, Celestia, the sunsets on your world truly are beautiful.” I sighed content, relaxing backwards with my hands supporting me. “I could watch them ‘til the end of forever and still they would hold fast to my heart.”

“A little over-dramatic, don’t you think?” Celestia snorted. “Were the sunsets on your world any different?”

I shrugged. “A little. A bit more polluted. A bit less magical. But mostly the same. I suppose that’s why I love them so much. No matter where you are in the world—any world—chances are the sunsets will have the same breathtaking beauty.”

Celestia scooted closer to me, her hooves tucked in along her stomach while her chin rested on my shoulder. “Tell me more about your world, Azazel.”

Well. I should have guessed, really. Mentioning my own world had always gotten Celestia jumping to learn more. Except now, she wasn’t so much jumping as looking up at me with those stunning purple eyes of her. Eyes filled with centuries of wisdom, kindness, and—even in her own immense age—curiosity as well.

I rubbed the bridge of my nose and sighed, trying to come up with an excuse to avoid the topic. She cuddled up a bit closer, trapping me by her gaze and the close proximity of her body. The implication was clear: there would be no escape this time. “Well… the sunsets are mostly the same.”

“Yes, I’ve heard.” She rolled her eyes. “Come now, Azazel, you’ve been in Equestria for weeks now, and the only things I truly know about you is your name. That’s no way to treat your host.” Celestia’s lips transformed into a devious grin. “Never mind a lady.”

“Well…” I sighed. “I guess I can begin with something simple. My world is called Earth.” I could only hope that feeding her some bits and pieces would quell her hunger for more... temporarily, at least. Clearing my throat, I added, “Though my home is better known as Heaven.”

Celestia raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “Heaven, you say?”

“Heaven. Where I was born, and where I overlooked the Kingdom of Man.” I smiled blissfully, closing my eyes to summon up the memories. “I suppose it was as beautiful to me as your Canterlot is to you. I can’t describe in words how wonderful it looked. The most magnificent city you could ever imagine, putting all others to shame.”

Celestia blinked, leaning her head in to get even closer. “Do you miss it?”

I gulped. Even that tiny reminder was enough for that familiar emptiness to creep its way into my chest. “...I suppose I do.” I sighed. “I remind myself often of how beautiful the world outside it is, and yet every day I cannot help but think of how poor a substitute that is for Heaven. It’s… not the most pleasant of thoughts.”

“Why can you not return?”

Ah, here we go. The one question I could not answer. At least, not to her. I got up from my seat, the tips of my toes hanging directly over the roof’s edge. A powerful gust of wind swept over us—my only protection therefrom a loose pair of patchwork shorts. It didn’t really matter much to me, since I’d never worn much protection in my own world anyhow.

Celestia got up as well, the redness in her cheeks less a blush and more anger. “Azazel, don’t ignore me! Every time I ask or encroach upon your past, you shut me out.”

“Maybe there’s a reason for that.”

“One you don’t intend to tell me?”

I turned back to her and smiled. “Maybe.” Then, without another word, I fell.

There are, as you might suspect, some benefits to being an angel. Both in the metaphorical moral sense, and the literal sense as well. The wings make it a bit difficult to wear a shirt, but they’re very useful for situations in which you’re falling off a castle. I unfurled them quickly, each feather meeting the rush of air head-on as I descended. With one mighty flap of my wings, I managed to hold myself just above the ground—which, of course, is greatly preferable to crashing into it.

A couple more flaps gave me speed as I climbed through the air, weaving through the numerous towers in the castle. The easiest way to describe it is like running up stairs, except warm air currents make it easy to climb a few floors all at once. Sometimes, if the conditions are right, I can just glide for miles. But at that moment, movement was all I could set my mind to. I beat my wings in furious strokes, my arms moving to their tempo... and I flew.

That’s pretty much all there is to it.

Finally, I reached free, open air, the city and castle far beneath me. The vista was just as breathtaking as before: a landscape of clouds and a dark-blue sky, even higher above me. I fluttered to a nearby cloudbank to catch my breath. It was fairly large, and more than ample as a resting spot—big enough, even, for two.

I gave no mind to proper dignity or manners as I relaxed on it. I stretched myself out on it and rested my head on the cool support of the clouds. All that was in sight now was a sky that was fading to black—and more of a purplish color, come think of it.

Actually, for some reason, it seemed to have turned rather white...

“Celestia?” I asked. I sat up and nearly hit my forehead against her chin. I backed away and noticed she’d been sitting right over me the entire time. Apparently she was a bit stealthier than I’d given her credit for. “When did you get here?”

“A few moments before you,” she said, smiling sheepishly at me. “I’ve noticed you always enjoy the big, dramatic exits, so this time I decided I’d be prepared. It’s not that hard to guess that you’d eventually come up for a break.” My wings kicked up some clouds as sat up, fluttering in agitation. Celestia laughed, her own wings held serenely at her sides. “I may just be getting better at figuring you out.”

“Well, isn’t that great,” I muttered, finally getting my wings under control.

“Indeed. Now you can finally answer my question.” She stretched herself out on the cloud, much like I had earlier, and stared at me with those big, stunning eyes of hers. “About why you cannot return to your home.”

“Have you ever thought that maybe it’s a personal question?” I asked, a bit more bitterly than I’d first intended. “And that, just perhaps, I would mind telling someone?”

Celestia blinked, her earlier relaxed tone replaced with minor hesitation. “Well, I had guessed so… but I thought after we had gotten to know one another more, you could—”

“Oh, and you thought I’d bend over backwards and open up like a book for you?” I scoffed, turning my head from her. “It doesn’t quite work like that, Celestia. Not where I’m from.”

“Please, Azazel, I didn’t mean it like that.” Celestia’s eyes were filled now with hurt, her expression confused. “I was merely curious and wanted to get to know you better.”

I gritted my teeth. “Maybe it’d be better for you to not be so curious, Princess. It can be a harmful trait to have.”

Celestia got up, the hurt in her eyes replaced now with burning defiance. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Whatever you want it to.” I crossed my arms and shrugged, still avoiding her gaze. “It’s more than enough as a hint.”

“Don’t just give me that, Azazel,” she said, taking a few steps forward and poking my chest with a hoof. “Aren’t we friends? Has my hospitality meant nothing to you?” She backed away, her face taking on a more somber light. “I suppose that’s not how it ‘works’ where you’re from, then.”

“Celestia…” I sighed deeply, covering my forehead with the flat of my palm. “It’s not like I don’t want to tell you. If there was anyone in this world I’d want to tell, it would be you.”

“Then why...?” She sat at my side and laid her hoof over my other hand, trying to reach my gaze with her own. “Why won’t you? Is it that you don’t trust me?”

I shook my head, laying my own hand over her hoof and stroking it gently. “It’s not that, Celestia. In fact, at this point, you’re probably the person—pony—I trust most. It’s just that I… well…” I closed my eyes and let out a shuddering breath. “I don’t trust what you’ll think of me after what I have to say.”

Celestia’s other hoof reached out and touched my chin. She moved my face so that our eyes met, hoof and hands still held together. “Azazel, you can always trust me. You’ll still be my friend, no matter what you say. I’ve seen for myself that you’re a good person, and nothing can change that.”

All I could do was look away. “Equestrians are rather trusting, aren’t they, Celestia?”

“It’s not a bad quality to have.”

I smirked, finally looking back to her. “No, no, I suppose it’s isn’t.”

I settled down in a more comfortable position on our cloud bed, Celestia resting beside me. The usual positions, from back when I’d been hospitalized… except that now she was much, much closer to me. Not to mention fluffy clouds. Those are always a plus.

“Well, I suppose to begin this story, you’d need to know more a bit more about what I am. I’m an angel. It’s not quite the same as being a mortal man. Not like those I’ve told you about.”

“I suppose the wings aren’t obvious enough?” Celestia smirked. “Nor the fact that you survived a free-fall through my roof, and healed in only a few weeks’ time?”

I chuckled. “Well, I just wanted to be clear. Perhaps you thought humans did that too.”

“They’d better not.” Celestia mock-pouted and poked my chest. “And you still haven’t apologized for wrecking my room.”

“What?” I said, laughing. “It’s a free skylight. I thought you’d be appreciative.” She giggled, and for a moment we simply laughed alongside each other. How stupid our grins must have looked.

Finally, the laughter died down, and I continued on with my tale. “Anyway, as an angel, I had an important duty. It’s supposed to be our job to praise and worship God. And for some time, that is how my life went on. I lived in a perfect paradise, loved by my Father and my brothers, truly content with my place in the heavens.”

“But that didn’t last, did it?”

I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples. “No… No it didn’t. There was a war—I suppose you could call it a war. It was a time of anarchy, rebellion, and blood. Blood that pooled all the way into the deepest pits of Hell itself.

“Before man, we’d thought of ourselves as perfect beings, blessed by an even more perfect God. We lived in peace and prosperity, blissfully content with our endless lives. But then, Lucifer—he who was closest to God and the greatest of us all—rebelled against our Father. He was not merely content to remain God’s servant, but meant to be worshipped as God himself. He convinced other angels—prideful, foolish angels—to join him in rebelling against the Kingdom of God.” I chuckled dryly, shaking my head. “The fools never succeeded. All were cast out of Heaven, exiled forevermore, never again to see Heaven’s light or God’s face. And they descended into Hell, with Lucifer their leader. The fallen became demons and other abominations as well.”

Celestia shifted against my side, resting her chin against my shoulder. “So… you are one of the fallen, then?”

My smile fell instantly. “No. Well… at least, not at first. It was only during the time of man that I would be considered a fallen angel… and not even in the traditional sense.”

“Man?” Celestia questioned. “As in—”

“Yes, man. He who walks the Earth. The mortal beings of my world, much like your ponies.”

“And none of them can fly,” Celestia recalled, perking up to my statement. “Could they use magic, at least?”

I shook my head. “No, man did not have the gift of flight or magic. He came from the earth itself, and there is where his powers lie.”

“So… he’s an earth pony then?”

I chuckled, rubbing my hand against Celestia’s slim neck. “No, not exactly. Man has power over all the world. With his own hands he can mold it, shape it, and bend it to his will. Hunting, farmland, shelter... all of these are mere stepping stones on the path of mankind, and he walks it easily.”

Celestia remained silent, mulling over my response with that cute frown on her face. “But how can man, who is mortal, cause you to fall from your home?”

“Do not think man’s plainness is his weakness. Rather, it is his greater strength. He works hard and learns from his mistakes—which God is quick to forgive, so great is his love for man. Mankind has flourished, conquering nature and the rest of the world as his influence spread. Even the mightiest of angels were surprised at his resolve and unbreakable will to expand.”

“Mankind sounds like an impressive species,” Celestia admitted, smiling as my palm brushed her coat in relaxing strokes. “But what is it about him that caused you to fall, Azazel? Why did you give up your home for him?”

I paused, feeling my stomach twist into a tight knot. My lips were dry, my palms were sweaty, and already a cold sweat chilled the back of my neck.

“Celestia. I… I… have sinned.”

Celestia’s ears perked up, though her unsure expression remained. “That is quite alright, Azazel. All of us have sinned sometime during our lifetimes.”

“No, you don’t understand,” I grunted. The knot burned like a flame within my body, threatening to swallow me up if I continued. Yet, I feared I’d be reduced to ashes anyway, if I didn’t let that fire loose. “I am an angel. I am not suppose to sin. I am supposed to be the example. The least sinful among God’s creatures. Yet, what I have done, the sins I have committed, the crimes against the heavens and God himself… I fear that this sin I carry is too much.”

I sat up, disturbing the cloud cover ever so slightly. I realized from the glittering stars shining through that Luna’s night was nearly upon us. Yet even this amazing sight, with an even more amazing pony, could not lift me out of my despair. With each word that left my mouth more of my guilt would build up, until it felt like I’d sink right to the surface under all the weight. All the way to Hell…

I shook my head, dislodging the thoughts of that fiery abyss. “Celestia, I just can’t trust that you’ll still be my friend after I tell you what I know. And if you don’t want to be my friend now because of that, then so be it. You’d still think of me in a better light than if you’d known.”

Celestia stood up, then poked my shoulder with her regal hoof. “Okay, Azazel, that’s it, no more Miss Nice Mare.”

“Celestia, please—”

She held her hoof over my lips, cutting off my trail of words. “No, Azazel, that isn’t going to cut it with me anymore. I want to know everything.”

“But—”

“No buts,” she replied. “I can’t handle not knowing a thing about you, Azazel. You say you can’t trust me, but how do you think I feel? I want so desperately to trust you, Azazel, more than anyone in this world.”

There were tears pooling in the corner of her eyes. Her face was flushed red in the starlight. Silently, I cursed myself. I knew how she felt. What she was feeling. I just couldn’t accept it—not from one as perfect as her, not as one filled with such vile sin as myself.

I brushed a tear away with my wing, my feathers gently caressing her cheek. “Oh, Celestia… you are indeed trusting. Too much so for someone like me.”

“That’s not a bad quality to have,” Celestia said, lips curling into a faint smile. “Azazel, in all your time here, I have not seen someone filled with sin. I’ve seen an angel—one who knows guilt enough to understand his crimes, and carries that guilt with him to never forget. No matter who you were in the past... as of now and forever, I will remember you as the kind-hearted individual that managed to—managed to—” Celestia turned her head sheepishly away, her blush practically overtaking all her face now. “To take my heart.”

My stomach sunk all the way to the city below. I wanted to scream and shout at her, beg her heart to reconsider. I could have just left her right there, without another word. It wouldn’t have been that hard to shatter whatever trust she had in me. I could have done it.

I could have.

“Celestia, you have to understand. Things in my world are much, much different than yours. It is a world where the blessed constantly wage war against the damned, where angels and demons meet in the battlefield over mankind’s future. It is not a perfect world. It never has been... and it is my fault that it is even worse.”

Celestia remained silent, eyes closed as she nestled into the soft plumage of my wings. Finally, her eyes fluttered open. “Because...?”

“Because the war between Heaven and hell had to be fought somewhere,” I told her. “Earth. Some of us angels... we couldn’t bear to see mankind abused by both sides in such a way. We wanted to give them a way to protect themselves.” I sighed, wiping away a trickle of sweat that had fallen down my cheek. “And, like most roads paved with good intentions, it led straight to Hell.”

“What do you mean?” Celestia asked.

I fell to the ground, crossing my legs as I stared at the purplish cloud beneath me. “What I mean is, because of what we did—what I did… so many good men are dead now because of me.” I looked into Celestia’s stunned eyes, a hoof covering her mouth. “No, not like that. I merely... taught them the ways of war. How to build swords, knives, shields, and coats of mail. But most importantly, I taught them how to kill.” I gulped hard. “And kill they did.”

“Azazel… why?” Celestia whispered, not budging from her spot. “Why would you teach them such things?”

“Because if I hadn’t,” I told her, “then they’d have been little more than animals, taken for slaughter by angels and demons. I had to teach them to defend themselves, or else they’d have been doomed.” I snorted. “At least, that’s what I told myself.

The visions came back to me now, a great wave of them flooding my mind. Men, women, children, thousands of them lay dying in the scorched earth of the battlefield, while rivers of blood filled the lands in an endless ocean of violence and death. All because of what I’d done...

“I was cast out of Heaven, never to return. And I was not merely destined for Hell. They bound me, hand, foot, and wing, and cast me out. I was told they would bury me in a hole filled with jagged rocks, deep in the driest desert... But, perhaps by God’s infinite mercy, I found myself cast into Equestria instead.” I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. “If it was indeed His judgment, I do not deserve it. I’m unfit for such things.”

I felt a wing on my cheek, the feathers brushing away my tears. I opened my eyes and saw Celestia’s face, glowing with a kindness and sympathy that could illuminate even the darkest of nights. She was looking at me with concern, but I could not bring myself to look back at her.

“Celestia... this is who I am. Who I’ve always been. A fallen angel, unfit to be a messenger of God. And, worst of all, I’m a killer.”

“Azazel, please—”

I took her wing in my grip and squeezed slightly. “No, don’t tell me that’s not who I am anymore—I’m still him. An angel who thought he could better mankind and save it from its so-called saviors.” My breath catches in my throat. “And instead, I doomed them.”

“Azazel!” she shouted, catching my attention. “Don’t you dare say those things about yourself! You’re not a fallen angel, you’re not an unfit messenger of God, and you’re definitely not a killer! In our time together you’ve been nothing but one of the kindest, most sincere ponies—people—I’ve known in my eternal life. Never allow yourself to think you are something you’re not.” Celestia took a step closer, her face nuzzling against my cheek. “Please. For me.”

I wrapped my arms around Celestia’s neck, our wings holding one another in a double embrace. “I wish I could believe that, Celestia,” I whispered in her ear, “but my heart won’t let me. The blood, the battlefields, all the senseless violence… I caused it. Me. By giving them the tools of war, I gave them the key to their own destruction.”

“What, then, Azazel?” she asked. “Will you continue to blame yourself forever? You cannot control mankind—and if they are anything like ponies, I should know. You tried to guide them on a path to protect themselves from forces stronger than themselves. If that isn’t truly caring about someone, then I don’t know what is.” She gave me a radiant smile. “What they chose to do should not be judged against you. You merely did what you thought was best, and no one can blame you for that.”

“The angels did.”

Celestia pulled her head back, our wings and bodies entwining. “Then tell me, Azazel,” she asked. She pushed me down on the clouds, standing tall above me. “Whose judgement do you care for more? The angels, or mine? Because right now, I can tell you I don’t blame you at all.”

Her body was so close, I could feel the warm underside of her coat brushing along my stomach. She felt so soft, I could have held her forever. My hands slid down her sides, past her wings to her delectably soft fla—

I stopped.

“No, Celestia, please,” I begged. “This mustn’t happen.”

“Why not, Azazel?” she asked, snuggling up against me, every touch of her warm coat against my skin egging me further on. “We both want it. I still trust you. Isn’t that what you want?”

“That’s the problem, Celestia: it’s exactly what I want. And when I get what I want, the worst always happens.” Damn me and my sinful soul—figuratively, Lord. Even as I tried to resist, I couldn’t for the life of me stop my hands. They had a mind of their own, traveling across her body in awe of her majestic figure.

“How could anything bad happen from this?” Celestia whispered in my ear. Her lips wandered across my neck, planting small kisses as they traveled. My whole body was shaking. By God, I wanted it... needed it. No matter how hard I tried, I could not tame the sin raging within me. It bubbled and boiled until I could hold myself back no longer.

“It’s bad because I want it. It’s bad because I shouldn’t want it, yet I do. Angels aren’t supposed to do this.”

Celestia pulled back, arching a brow at me. “Why not?”

“We are immortal. Procreation for our race to survive isn’t necessary, so we don’t do it,” I answered, gaining an even stranger stare from Celestia. “We shouldn’t want sex because we don’t need sex. To commit such an act is a sin of lust. A bastardization of God’s teachings.”

“Azazel, please, you don’t have to think of it like that,” Celestia said, holding a hoof atop my chest. “What we have is special, it’s only natural for us to enjoy one another.”

“That’s just it. It isn’t natural, at least not for me.” I groaned, running a hand across my face. “For God’s sake, Celestia, I can’t. I ruin everything I touch. Angels are supposed to be the purest children of God... and yet—” I gulped as she kissed my neck again. “And yet I just can’t be that!” I choked out a weak sob. “I just… I just can’t.”

“Love isn’t a sin, Azazel,” she said, kissing me now on the cheek. Her feathers brushed against my shoulder. “I don’t think I need to know much of your world to say that.”

“Bu—”

She touched her hoof lightly against my lips, silencing me. Celestia’s eyes shined in the dying light of the sun, making her more radiant than even in the day, and before I could react, her lips pressed against mine. Words failed me—all I had to say, I communicated through our kiss. Her tongue eagerly pressed into my mouth, wrestling for dominance with my own. Celestia was not merely passionate, but filled with lust. Her need for release was rising just as quickly as my own sinful desires. We were trapped, by then, in a cocoon of delight, woven from our passions, and it was unlike any I had ever experienced before.

Our lips parted, connected by only the faintest trails of saliva. We were both panting hard, our breaths drawn from our lungs in the ferocity of the kiss. Celestia’s horn glowed, and down below I could feel the patchwork cloth covering my groin being pulled away.

“No, Celestia, please don’t,” I begged, holding her beautiful face in my hands. “I can’t. I can’t corrupt you too.”

“Please, Azazel, it’s what I want too.” She nuzzled my chin, and for the first time I noticed she smelled of fresh sunflowers. “Its what we both want. That isn’t wrong. It’s love.”

“An angel does not love, Celestia,” I whispered. “Not like this.” I brushed away a tear that had remained on her cheek, my eyes transfixed by her beauty. “I couldn’t bear for you to live the rest of your life having troubled by having been with someone like me.”

Celestia laid her hoof over my hand on her cheek, looking me straight in the eyes. “And I can’t bear to live my life without you, Azazel, no matter how wrong you think it is. You have a good soul, and I have fallen in love with it. And I want that love to blossom and grow.” Her horn glowed once again, her eyes filled with a wild fire. “Please, please, Azazel, let this happen. Give up your fear, and be with me, if you truly love me back.”

I sighed and closed my eyes. The horrors of Earth, the war of the heavens, my punishment and tribulations and sins... They all came rushing back to me in a wave of terror and regret. Yet, there—a single island in the stormy skies of my past, was Celestia, untouched and perfect as ever. And right there and then, I knew what to do.

I relaxed my body and allowed her to pull the last of the cloth away, leaving me truly naked before her. I could feel her legs straddling my hips, my hands guiding her journey by her pleasantly soft flank. Celestia’s eyes snuck a peek downward for but a moment and a red blush covered her cheeks.

“You’re already a bit excited, aren’t you?” She’d positioned herself just above the head of my erect shaft, which throbbed in the cool air of the sky around us. Her hooves held onto my shoulders and my hands rested comfortably on her flank, spreading the cheeks out wide. “And it’s so… big.”

I could feel my whole body tingling now, the radiant warmth of Celestia’s snatch near my length almost too much to bear.

“Angels do not need to procreate,” I explained. The tip of the head brushed against her slit, elicting a moan of approval from Celestia. I could feel her lower lips, plump and wet, drawing themselves across my cock, lubricating it for the journey ahead. “If we ever do engage in the sin of lust, our bodies can change to whatever our lover desires most.” I finally penetrated her, the tender tightness of her walls parting to allow me entrance within. Celestia bit her lip, wincing as I inserted myself inch by inch. “So,” I whispered into her ear, “that means this is exactly what you want, and how you want it.”

When the base of my shaft finally touched the wet lips of her nethers, Celestia shivered. “Ah! Ah… ah… ngh… Oh, that’s a dream,” she sighed, wiggling her adorable bottom ‘round my groin. “This is—mmm—delightful.” Her eyes opened, pure lustful glee shining forth. She licked her lips. “So, if you can give me exactly what I want and how I want it... What can I give you?”

I moved in, my lips brushing against hers once more. Our bodies pressed together and our hearts were heated like no other warmth in either world. I broke away to lean my forehead against hers and whispered: “Be yourself. Be my angel.”

“Mmmm, as you wish.” She lifted her hindquarters up from my lap, assisted by my hands pushing up against the soft fat of her flank. Then, as if she could bear the anticipation no longer, her legs buckled. My hands slowed her descent as she fell and I thrust upward. The combined effect was what I could only describe as heavenly—and, by Celestia’s scream of delight, she would not have disagreed.

Again, I lifted her in preparation for another thrust. My hips moved in their own frantic rhythm, feeding off the bliss of Celestia’s tight snatch. Each thrust was pursued quickly by another, searching desperately for relief. Celestia followed my motions, jumping up and dropping down in sync with my thrusts to maximize her pleasure. For myself, each pounding of Celestia’s nethers, each undulation of her hungry snatch, was a state of ultimate bliss. The heat, the lust, the sweat, the moans and grunts—all came together in perfect symphony.

The satisfaction was clear on Celestia’s face, from the beads of sweat dripping from her brow to the mindless smile on her lips. It all pointed towards a mare who was lost in the moment, and loving every second of it. She had already orgasmed twice, by my figuring, each one heralded by a great tightening and a spray of her juices along my cock. My own release was soon to arrive, my pacing much more rapid now as the minutes ticked by and our lovemaking reaching a glorious peak.

Just before that, however, I wanted to try something different. I stopped, moving my hands from the softness of her rump to her luscious sides instead.

Celestia blinked, jarred from her state of mindless sexual bliss. She paused to wipe away some of the saliva that had drooled from her jaw. “Azazel, why did you stop?”

I said nothing, but merely lifted her up once more. I twisted her around until Celestia’s damp backside rested against my chest. Her ass came to rest itself on my lap, her cheeks clamped tight on my erect, throbbing cock.

My lips brushed against her neck, and my hot breath ran along her sweat-soaked coat. “Just a surprise for you, my princess.” I reached a hand across her belly, parting open her lips so that my dick could accommodate itself within her drenched snatch. My dick was throbbing now nonstop as it was surrounded by a new tightness from Celestia’s lower lips. “This is the best way to royalty to finish, after all.”

I resumed thrusting. Celestia lied back to enjoy the ride as I handled the work now of lifting and slamming her down on my cock. The wet slap of my balls against her nethers joined itself into our sexual symphony, bringing our pleasure to new heights.

Celestia laid a hoof on my cheek, still bouncing with each thrust of my cock. “Aww—ngh—y-you do care. Ahhh, ah! You’re so s-sweet!”

I rubbed my middle finger against the swollen mound that was her clit, pinching and twisting it further pleasure my sweet, sweet Celestia. “Only for you, my princess,” I whispered.

The jiggle of her ass—the pillowy softness of the impact—each time my lap slammed against her flank was an absolute treat, and I’d quickly become addicted to it. The new position allowed us even to kiss as Celestia’s head turned to meet my own. Before long, I gave up teasing her clit and focused solely on making each thrust harder and more pleasurable than the last.

I didn’t breathe a word about my climax. We knew each other’s release by the intense shiver that rocked us both. I stopped, completely inside her. The hot, wet walls of her nethers soon burned with my passion as the first streams of my seed discharged into her humid core. It was an unnecessary touch, since angels don’t have children, but Celestia seemed to enjoy the effect immensely.

“Ahh! Ah, oh Azazel—uh—that was…” Celestia panted, filled to the brim now with my semen. Her breathing was shallow, still fully immersed in her orgasm. Her shudders caught her breathing midway, leaving her body a twitching, spasming mess.

I held her close, hands draped over her sweat-drenched stomach as my orgasm ended alongside her own. Our bodies were intertwined in the close bond only lovers could share. The night had fallen now in earnest, all light gone save for the moonlight and stars. Yet, at that moment, Celestia seemed more radiant to me than ever. The moonlight shone on her coat and her ethereal mane shimmered in the breeze. Even her eyes seemed to have a warm light in them as she looked up at me.

“It was amazing for me too, Celestia,” I said, pulling out. She remained still, resting on my stomach. I didn’t mind. She was light, and I had dealt with greater burdens before. “More beautiful than any experience I had before in this mortal plane.”

“Even better than Heaven?” Celestia asked me, cupping my cheek with her hoof.

I closed my eyes, remembering the golden majesty of my former home. It always came back in perfect detail. Once someone sees Heaven, that glorious shining city, they never quite forget it.

Especially not if they’ve been exiled from it.

I breathed deeply, my voice still shaky. I opened my eyes and brushed Celestia’s coat gently, whispering, “Celestia, you’re my Heaven now. Now and forever, you are my shining light. With you, I don’t feel the burden of my sins, the guilt of my past, the loss of what I can never have again. You have replaced the piece of myself I thought I had lost years ago, and because of that, you are the Heaven of my life.”

Celestia kissed my cheek, her lips as soft and gentle as ever. “You always know what to say, don’t you?”

I chuckled. “Thankfully. One of the few gifts I have retained, even after crossing to the mortal plane.”

We laid back in silence, looking up to the night sky and twinkling stars. Even here, above the clouds, the skies were much the same as those on Earth. I took that small comfort to heart. I do not know how long we stayed there, lying naked on a cloudbank, locked in the other’s arms to share our warmth.

Eventually, though, Celestia spoke out: “So, Azazel, I can expect you to stay with me in the castle?”

“Well, of course. I have nowhere else to go.” I smirked. “And I believe Pinkie Pie will be throwing me a full recovery party soon. It would be a shame if I missed that.”

“Indeed, it would be.” Celestia hummed under her breath, a faint smile growing on her lips. “Well, since you’ll be staying with us indefinitely, then having you sleep in the hospital simply won’t do. Especially not when you’re all well again.”

“Of course, of course,” I agreed with her. “Does that mean I get a guest room?”

“Oh no, not a guest room. All of those will be filled for that party Pinkie is going to throw for you—and I expect it will last for a week this time around.” Celestia turned around atop me, smiling wide. “I guess the only proper thing to do is to share my chambers with you. It’s what any selfless, benevolent leader, such as myself, would do in this type of situation.”

“And the princess won’t mind sharing her chambers with someone such as me?” I asked, running my hands up and down her back.

Celestia pouted, tapping a hoof to her chin. “Weeeeeeeell, you are a bit of a mess. But nothing that a proper shower can’t clean up.” She gave me a flirty wink. “Of course, I’ll have to be there to make sure you get a proper scrubbing.”

“Anything else to make sure I measure up to the great Princess Celestia’s expectations?”

Leaning close to me so that her lips were only a few inches away from my own, Celestia slowly opened her mouth, her hot breath running down my neck, and said, “Get a haircut.”

My eyes opened wide, and my wings unfurled. “What? Why should I? My hair is perfectly fine the way it is!”

Celestia giggled, holding a hoof to her lips to try and hide her smile. “Come now, Azazel, you must admit that you need a proper trim.”

“No!”

“Not even for your favorite princess?” she asked, pouting her lips and giving me her best puppy-dog impression.

“Who said anything about Luna?” I asked.

“Oh, now you’ve done it,” said Celestia, giving me a friendly punch in the arm, and the two of us laughed well into the night.