Chapters Chapter One: C'est la vie
It was a cold day out on the battlefield. Many warriors have died already, and I was there with the remaining Knights. We were a fellowship of six, but 3 have died already. We were sent by a lord in Britain to clear out French fort in the area. I was part of the only remaining survivors, but I was in terrible shape. Arrows had pierced my body in several places, and many more had stuck in my white armor. I still had my long sword, and quarterstaff though, but one of the men of my fellowship was pulling arrows out of my wounds. As we was treating me, an arrow pierced my helmet, and the world around me went black...
I had awoken in a forest clearing, and my head hurt like hell. I could see that the arrows were still in my armor, but the wounds I had were gone.
"Strange.." I thought to myself.
I had decided it be best to stand up, and look around. As I did so, I noticed that I was slumped against a tree. As I took a look around, I saw that I was not in Britain any longer. The land around me was foreign, and strange. I luckily still had my weapons, and decided to look for a path.
It wasn't long before I found one, and saw myself in the largest forest I've ever seen. The local wildlife was strange as well, looking more like the things of our legends. I continued on until I saw a strange animal. It was part cat, part scorpion, and part bat.
"Manticore..." I said to myself before the beast heard my voice. It let out a roar and started to charge at me. As it was doing so, my instincts kicked in, me pulling my quarterstaff from my back.
"HAVE AT THEE, YOU FOUL WRETCH!!!" I yelled before swinging the weighted staff down on the poor creature's head
The manticore stopped dead in it's tracks as I struck it, most likely dazing it. I used this chance to continue to strike it's head, me grunting with every swing. I heard a sickening crack, and continued to beat the beasts skull inward, until I saw that the top half of it's skull was completely destroyed. I thanked God for giving me the strength to do this, and continued down the path.
I just kept walking down the path until I found a hunched body by a tree. I inched closer, and found that it was the body of a French marksman. I seen that he had his crossbow and bolts on him, but his dagger was nowhere to be found. I also noticed that he had his throat slit. "Most likely some of our men" I thought to myself. I quickly looted the weapon and ammo, thankful that I was the son of a wealthy vassal, and had much training with many weapons and skills. I quickly noticed that the crossbow was winch pulled, having an extremely long bow, and very high tension cord. I began to winch the cord back, using both of my feet to keep the massive weapon steady. As I finally finished, I was able to put one of the heavy bolts in place, making it seem like I was holding something more akin to a miniature ballista than a crossbow. I took one look at the Frenchman, and saw that his eyes had the picture of pure fear planted on them. I decided to at least do some good, and close his eyes before I pulled him under a bush. Not a proper burial, but enough that he wont be disturbed by more travelers.
I continued upon my trail until I found a survivor of this whole mess. I unsheathed my longsword, but held it at my side, trying not to look as threatening.
"Hello good sir!" I yelled to the man.
"Qui êtes-vous? Où suis-je?!" The obviously French man said.
I knew French, but I didn't like the prospect of me being with this man. Either way, I had to talk to this fellow one way or another.
(Translated from French to English)
"I am a knight of Britain. As to the question of where we are, I have no idea" I answered.
"It is good to hear a friendly voice, though I don't suppose we could put our differences aside to work together?"
"I don't see why not, Frenchie. Tell me your name, please."
"I am Sir Gustav De La Fontaine. What is your's?"
"I'm Sir Bertram. I believe that since our introductions are in order, we should make haste to the end of this abyssal forest."
He nodded, and followed me on the trail.
And God was on our side that day.
We made it out without any sort of problems. Sir Gustav was slightly scratched up, but that was do to his fondness for chainmail more than anything. We were also able to scavenge some weapons from other fallen soldiers. Gustav now has a longbow and a maul, while I had enough room for a few more bolts. But nonetheless, we continued on the trail until we saw a cottage in the distance.
"Do you want to try our luck Frenchman?" I asked.
"I slightly do, but we don't know where we are..." He paused for a moment. "We need to find a town before we try to talk to anyone."
"Fine by me."
We went around the cottage, and went over a hill. As soon as we cleared it, we saw a small town filled with pastel-colored ponies in the distance.
"This is..."
"Interesting." I finished for him.
"Should... should we continue onwards?" He asked.
"Hmm..." I though to myself for a brief moment before turning to him. "Yes. Let us go onward."
We continued to the town, our weapons sheathed. As we got nearer, we could see that some of the ponies had wings, while others had horns. I must say that we were a tad bit amazed to see this. Though we continued on, and finally entered the town. When we did, we got some looks of terror from the ponies as they ran away. I couldn't blame them though, we did look grossly intimidating. We got to the center of town, and found that the rather large circular building must be the government office. We both looked at each other, and entered the building. As we got inside, we saw a mare with a brown coat, a white mane, and... glasses? She took one look at us, and just about screamed. It wasn't until I spoke, in English mind you, that she calmed down.
"Fair lady, why do you seem so distressed?" I asked her in a soothing tone.
"You... you can talk?" She asked me in a startled tone. I was honestly more surprised that she could speak, but I mostly expected it.
"Yes I can madam. May I ask you of your name?"
"M-my name is Mayor Mare."
"Ah, it is good to see a mayor! My name is Sir Bertram, and my friend is Sir Gustav."
She seemed to calm down a little bit, but after a moment of silence, she asked why we were here.
"We were coming out of that forest out of there when we saw your town. We thought that it might be a good place to ask questions on where we are."
"You were in the Everfree?!" Her eyes wide with shock, wonder, or both.
"I think so. But we are still trying to figure out how we got here."
"I don't think I can give you that answer." She said sadly, but brightened up when she said her next statement. "But I think I might know somepony who does know!"
"Great then! Can you lead us?"
She agreed to lead us to the library in town. We got a few stares cast our way, but since we were with the mayor, it didn't provoke much suspicion. As when got to the library, we noticed that it was a tree.
"Hmm... interesting..."
The mayor told us that a unicorn by the name of Twilight Sparkle lived here, and she would be more than willing to help us. When the unicorn opened the door, she eeped in surprise, but calmed down when she saw the mayor.
"Twilight, these two seem to have a problem."
"What would that be mayor?" She stepped out from behind the door, and we could see her wings. The mayor and I explained our predicament, and how we could fix it.
"Hmm..." She said as she thought. "I can't really seem sure how to fix something like this! You two have been ripped from your world, and are stuck here for a while." She looked at Gustav, and back at me. "Why isn't he talking?"
"He speaks a different language than us..."
Twilight had a sparkle in her eye "I know a spell that might help with that!"
"By all means, go ahead."
She readied her horn, and shot a beam of purple magic into Gustav, making him fly back a bit.
"In God's name, what was that for?" He yelled.
"To help you understand us better." Twilight said. To say the least, Gustav was shocked that he was able to understand the Purple mare. As our conversation continued, it became clear to both of us that we would most likely not be able to get back home. We both had thought about this, and were prepared for it.
"Do you know where we could get a few tents by chance? Also, it would be nice if we could borrow some bedrolls as well."
"I have a couple of spare tents, and some sleeping bags. I can bring them out if you want." Twilight said happily, eager to help.
"That would do us good" Gustav said. "We will be in the field by the covered bridge."
And off we went to set up the tents and get a fire started. Gustav and I said our thanks as we got settled in to our tents. I couldn't help but think that we had a long time ahead of us...
Chapter 2: Jolly Co-Operation!
The sounds of the crackling fire were dying as I awoke from my slumber. I heard a gentle thwacking noise in the distance, and decided to get out of bed. I looked down to realize that I had slept in my armor.
Not the first time I've done so.
I went to the tent next to mine to find that it was unoccupied. The thwacking continued, and I could only assume that it was from the Frenchman practicing with his new found bow. I was planning on searching the forest today for some more weapons, and possibly some survivors. Though, my rumbling stomach did do me some convincing that we needed to get some breakfast. I went out into the open field to see that my suspicions have been confirmed. Gustav was shooting the longbow with ease, and had several targets set up. I walked over to him, and seen that he wasn't even tiring.
"Gustav, I'm starting to become perished. Would you like to go into town with me to get some food?"
"Oui! That sounds fantastic. I will have to clean up the arrows first..."
"No time Frenchman. I'm hoping I will not have to force you to come with me."
"No need for violence, Bertram. I shall accompany you in your search for food."
And so we went off into the town. Though the name of it could have been better. Ponyville sounded childish to me. But I digress, we looked for some structure that offered food services. We had been walking for about five minutes until we found a local cafe. As we approached the entrance, the ponies seemed to back away from us. It could have been out of fear, or respect, but I will never know. We neared the counter, and saw a stallion standing there. He was dressed in a blue apron, had a white coat, and a gently groomed mane. As soon as he saw us, he tensed up a little bit.
"H-how can I help you two today?" He asked, fear evident in his voice.
Gustav spoke first. "We were stopping by for some petit déjeuner. Do you have any available food items?"
The stallion seemed to have perked up at that. "Why yes we do, what would you like?"
It was my turn to speak. "If you have any fruits or grains, we would appreciate it."
"Alrighty, that will cost you 2 bits"
I took a look at Gustav, and he gave me a shrug.
I looked at the stallion, and said, "How about a..." I rummaged through my satchels, and found some miscellaneous items. "...few soft, silky stones?" I held them out to him so he could examine them. He leaned his head in close to get a good look at the stones. He put a hoof over the stones, and took them.
"Sounds like a fair trade to me! What would you like?"
"I would quite enjoy some redcurrents."
"I shall have cabbage soup, if it is available."
The stallion looked thoughtfully for a second before getting our food.
"I am most famished right now Betram."
"As am I, Frenchman."
Our small dialogue was cut short by the stallion carrying our food on his back. "Here you two go. Enjoy!"
"Thank you sir." Gustav said.
We went to an empty table to consume our food. The soup was good, but the chef at our camp made it better. Gustav seemed to be enjoying his berries. When we had finished, it was 15 minutes since we'd came in. I looked at Gustav and said, "How about some exploring in the forest?"
"Seems enjoyable." He said as he put the final berry in his mouth. "I'll have to grab my gear from our camp though."
And so we set off to the campsite. Nothing major happened on the way, just Gustav retrieving his gear. The walk to the Everfree Forest was also enjoyable. No animals in sight, and not a human to be found. Though this relative peace was broken by the sound of a what was akin to a lightening bolt.
"What was that?" Gustav asked me.
"I have no idea Gustav..."
As we readied our weapons, a giant beast emerged in front of us. A reptilian creature with a long neck, 4 foot long spines, a 6 foot long, thick body, and 4 stumpy legs.
Gustav looked terrified as he whispered, "Its the Peluda ."
The monstrosity took one look at us, and drew back it head as flame began to form. We braced for the worst, until the sound of lightening came again. As we looked at the source, we saw a man wearing white plate mail, with a sun-printed tabard. He was holding what looked like to be a priest's chime. Well, that is until he threw a spear of lightening out of it. The lightening struck the creature's tail, blowing it off instantly. It reared back, and took out a mighty roar before falling on its back, dead.
"I trust you two are well?" The strange man said.
"Yes, we are. Th-thank you sir knight." Gustav replied.
"We all must help one another in times like these."
Gustav looked him over, and asked, "What is your name?"
The man looked up, and said, "I am Knight Solaire of Astora. I am a Knight of Sunlight, part of the Heirs of the Sun."
"Well it would be rude of us to keep you out here Solaire. Please, come join us back at our campsite."
And so we set out to the campsite together, us telling Solaire of our situation, and what to expect in the coming of days.
Chapter 3: Am I Alive?
All was well in the hills beside Ponyville. Gustav, Solaire, and I were roasting some Manticore meat we had hunted the previous day. It is also worth mentioning that it has been one month since we had recruited Solaire among our fellowship. I have since then gotten past my petty disagreements with Gustav, and have seen him as an equal to me. I have noticed that he has seen me in the same light.
I have also been talking to a mare named Lyra recently. She has helped me in speaking with the normal Equestrian dialect, though I am happy to say that I keep my accent from my homelands of the Walsh hillsides. Gustav has all but lost his accent as well, and he has kept his faith in Christ. So far, he has started a local Catholic church in the town civic center, and is proud to name it the "First Equestrian Catholic Denomination." He is a self proclaimed priest, due to him having a Bible when he was taken. Solaire still continues the pagan rituals of sun worship, though he is a very bright fellow, extremely quick to also include prayers to Jesus during his rituals. He continues to amaze me, due to him taking his situation so well. Solaire and Gustav have also begun work on a cathedral, and has enlisted the help of the local sect of followers. The numbers are at about one and a half score, though most of them are Earth Ponies, so the work is going along smoothly.
But I digress. It was a peaceful day, until we heard the sound of... it's hard to describe what it was actually. It sounded almost as if the earth itself was crying...
***A NEW CHARACTER HAS ARRIVED***
I had awoken in this strange new land about an hour ago, and I was not pleased with what I saw. I was no longer in my cave, practicing my dark arts. No I was in a dark forested area. An area that seemed to almost... radiate dark energies. It was a nice feeling to my old bones, but I had to deduce why I had been sent to this new world.
"It does not look like anywhere from my home" I said aloud, my eyebrows furrowing. I decided that the best course of action would be to explore the immediate vicinity, and floated off towards the south. I looked around at what I might see, but it was all forest and grass. I did, however, smell the unmistakable stench of sulfur. That would mean one of two things. I was near a swamp, or this area had a large sulfur based power supply nearby. I hovered towards the stench, and discovered that I was correct about the swamp. I continued to explore the area, until I heard a faint hissing sound behind me. I turned around, and saw a very large, and not happy, hydra staring at me. I realized that I must be upon it's hunting grounds, and it see's me as a quick snack. I was able to communicate to animals in my previous world, so I was curious if I could so here as well.
"Halt foul hydra!" I commanded to the beast. It stopped and looked at me almost quizzically. "Why are you hunting me?"
"You are treading upon the groundsss that I control." It bellowed. "You ssseemed sssmall, but now I can sssee that you are more intelligent than you ssseem."
"Yes, I am a powerful necromaster and lich. If you do not allow me to pass through unharmed, I will turn you into my thrall serpent ."
"Hmm... What isss thisss necromancy you ssspeak of? And what isss a lich?"
"I am a man who has surpassed the boundaries of mortal flesh. I am undead, and ever living! All of the dead are under my will, and I can even force my will upon the living! I am an unstoppable force, and am not to be trifled with. Let me pass, or I shall end you."
"I do love a challenge. I will fight you creature of two legsss"
After it had said that, one of it's heads tried to strike me, but had underestimated my agility. I easily dodged the strike, and retorted with a rather large fireball to it's head. The massive ball of fire cleaved right through the thing's neck, cauterizing it in the process. It roared a mighty roar, and charged me, but I drew my sword, and slashed it's legs with unholy fire. The monster was on the ground, crying in pain, as it begged for mercy.
"Please don't kill me! I have much of my life to live!"
"Mercy is a foreign concept to me, beast." I said, as I started a spell that was to strip the flesh off of this hydra. I casted it, and the monster whimpered as it's very flesh slid off of it's bones. I casted a siphoning spell that would give me the essence of it's soul, empowering my already endless energies.
"Hail hydra now, bitch." I stated bluntly as I kicked the skeletal remains of the once magnificent beast.
I turned my attention elsewhere, smelling the delightful scents of love and friendship. Unlike other liches, I have gained a certain... affinity for the joy it brings to my heart. The fact that my necromancy stemmed from my previous occupation as a magical healer also gives me the warm fuzzy feeling inside. I strode toward the treeline, and low-and-behold a settlement ripe with happiness. It was a magical feeling, the powers of happiness granting me energies. I strode headlong into the town, only to see... ponies?
"Ponies?" I asked myself, my face probably looking like a combination of "realization of stepping in something" and "left the oven on at home."
"Sir?" A little colt, brownish in color, asked me.
"Yes little one?" I responded, getting as close to his eye level as I could.
"Are you here to help the others?"
"Others? What are you talking about little horse-child?"
"The others that look like you sir! Come on, follow me!"
I decided to follow the little bugger, so I hovered next to him. He seemed to like the less violent stories of my endeavors, and in about half an hour, we had reached a small camp.
"Here we are sir!"
"Thank you little one." I patted his mane, as I used telekinesis to give him a butterscotch candy out of my satchel.
I turned, and saw a white knight, a pagan catholic, and the rowdiest Frenchman I have ever seen.
"So... Did I miss anything?"
Hu-u-um-me-e-en
"Another day, another party... Am I right Thomas?"
The chrome headed robot looked at his golden companion, and nodded in agreement.
"Very much so Guy-Man."
"I told you to stop calling me that." Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo said rather firmly.
"Oh, I'm sorry, do you prefer 'Shy-Guy'?" Thomas Bangalter asked his longtime friend. Guy simply shook his head, and patted Thomas on the back.
"In your dreams 'Chrome Wonder'." Guy skillfully retorted.
Thomas made a sound not unlike that of a jammed printer. His voice synthesizer was acting on the fritz again. He turned the knob on the earpiece of the helmet, and quickly corrected the issue.
Right after Thomas was done fixing his voice, the two robots saw a pillar of light envelope around them, and a searing heat that promptly made them pass out...
It had been hours after they had been knocked unconscious by the mysterious light. The duo looked around their surroundings, seeing that they had been transported somewhere that they were not familiar with.
"This doesn't look like France..." Thomas said.
"No shit Sherlock!" Guy yelled back. He took to studying his surroundings. "Good thing I kept those knuckle dusters in my gloves." He told himself out loud.
"What?" Thomas responded.
"Hmm?"
"You say something?"
"Yeah just said I was happy I still have the knuckle dusters in my gloves."
"Oh! That reminds me!" Thomas pulled a nylon sack off his back, and opened it up; examining the contents, he talked to Guy-Man. "I had the sack in the Green Room for when we got home. I packed some guns just in case if things got hairy."
"THOMAS! YOU HAD GUNS?"
"Pfft, of course. That's like asking if I have DJ equipment on me so-"
"Wait, wait, WAIT! You have DJ equipment AND guns on you?"
"Yeah!"
Guy stared at his counterpart, and slammed a hand on his visor. "What am I gonna do with you Thomas?"
"Ship me to America to party?"
The duo looked at each other, and laughed together. Their antics may just save their lives...
