This is the End... Of Ponyville

At the airport...

  Rainbow Dash was waiting at the airport for her best friend, Twilight Sparkle. They haven't seen each other in more than a year, so this was a good time to catch up. Rainbow, then, sees the purple unicorn.

    "Yay!" Twilight said, laughing. "We're so happy!"

    Twilight walks up to Rainbow and gives her a hug.

    "Hey, girl!" Rainbow responded.

    "Hey!"

    "Geez, how long has it been, dude?"

    "Inside a year, I think."

    "Well, I hope you're ready because I have plans for the both of us!"

    "Lemme here it, girl!"

    "Its a surprise!"

    "Whoa, can't wait."

    The two start walking away, only to run into a stallion with a camera.

    "Hey, Rainbow Dash!" he said.

    "Hello!" she responds.

    "Hey, so people are wondering when you're going to do some real flying."

    "Yeah, thank you."

    "Give me the laugh. Give the RD laugh!"

    Rainbow Dash laughs in front of the camera.

    "Hey! Rainbow Dash everypony!"

    The stallion left as Rainbow and Twilight continue to the parking lot.

At the parking lot...

    The two enter Rainbow's car and start driving off.

    "Okay, I'm here, we said our hellos, can we please go to fucking Star's Jr?" Twilight asked.

    "Eh... I'm not up to it dude." Rainbow says.

    "What?"

    "I'm on... I'm on this cleanse."

    "What?"

    "I'm on a cleanse."

    "So you're not gonna drink or smoke weed?"

    "No, I'm still gonna do that. I'm on a cleanse, I'm not psychotic!"

    "Well, that's as stupid as shit."

    "No its real! I didn't know this but you should take six shits a day!"

    "That's bullshit! You're supposed to shit twice a day!"

    "No, you're supposed to shit six times a day and that's because of gluten!"

    "You don't even know gluten is!"

    "Yes I know what gluten!"

    "Okay, what's a gluten?"

    "Gluten's a vague term. Its used to categorize things that are bad. Calories, that's a gluten. Fat, that's a gluten."

    "You're shitting me."

    "Say what you want. Gluten's bad shit, girl, and I'm not eating it."

At Star's Jr...

    Eating a sandwich, Rainbow moans with delight.

    "Each bite is better than the previous," she says.

    "Mm-hmm!" Twilight says.

    "Gluten!"

At Rainbow's house...

    "Hey, this looks beautiful!" Twilight says as she and Rainbow enter the house.

    "You like it? I redid the whole thing," Rainbow says.

    "It's fucking awesome!"

    "It's all new!"

    "Celestia damn, son!"

    "Pretty nice, huh?"

    "So this is how the other half lives."

    Rainbow chuckled and says, "Come on."

    "Amazing," Twilight says.

    "Air hockey tables."

    "Jesus Murphy!"

    As they enter the living room, Rainbow says, "Okay, get ready, Twi."

   "What?" Twilight asks.

   "I have a surprise for you."

   "Okay."

   Rainbow points to the table and says, "Here's to the best weekend ever."

   Giddy with excitement, Twilight runs to the table and sits down.

   "It's all your favorite things," Rainbow says.

   "Starburst and Airheads on a... and it says 'Twi,'" Twilight says.

   "In joints."

   "In joints."

   "It says 'Twi' in jays."

   "Rainbow Dash, you are just the best people," Twilight says, patting her friend on the back.

   "Come on, I know you don't love it in Ponyville, so I figure I'll make it... Y'know, I'll lube it up a little," Rainbow says.

   "It eases the transition."

   "Yeah, right?"

   "This the much-needed foreplay."

   "You know what else I got?" Rainbow asks, reaching towards the table.

   She picks up 3-D glasses.

   "A 3-D television." she says

   "No way!" Twilight says, putting on the glasses. "Oh my Celestia."

   "I did it, dude."

   "Let's get into it."

   Rainbow reaches to the table and picks up a pipe.

   "It's Starswirl the Bearded's pipe," she said, showing it to Twilight.

   "Damn, no shit," Twilight reacted.

   Making an impression of an old man, Rainbow says, "Hello, little pony. Spark my ganja."

   Twilight laughs and says, "Yeah."

   Laughing dramatically, Rainbow says, "I'm a well-known homosexual advocate."

Hours later...

   After hours of playing video games and smoking weed, the two stop.

   "Oh, my eyes feel like they're melting," Rainbow says. "I need a break."

   Realizing something, she then says, "Y'know what? We should go to Rarity's house soon. She's having a housewarming party. She just finished building her house. I haven't even seen it yet, but it's supposed to be bonkers."

   "I haven't been in Ponyville in, like, a year," Twilight says, "and I came here to chill with you."

   "We can chill together, and we'll chill with those other guys. We'll all chill as one big unit."

   Frustrated, Twilight asks, "Will I even know anypony there?"

   "You know Rarity," Rainbow answered.

   "Rarity doesn't even know my name."

   "Fluttershy will be there."

   "Can't stand her. She can't stand me."

   "She's like the nicest made in the world! She likes you so much. She specifically talks about how he likes you. Out of nowhere, she just said, 'You know what? Twi's an inspiration.'"

   "There's no way she said that. Also, just can't stand her."

   "Okay, fine. Applejack."

   "Never met her."

   "She's hilarious. Sweats a lot, but she's a great guy. So, it's gonna be fun, girl."

   "For you, I will go."

   "I promise, I'll stay with you all night, okay? I won't ditch cuz I want to be with you all night. And you know why else?"

   Touching Twilight's cheek, Rainbow says, "'Cause nopony puts Twi in the corner."

   Twilight scoffs and pushes Rainbow's hands away. Little do they know that messed up shit will happen and that it will put not only their lives at stake, but will put their friendship to the test.

To be continued...