To Ms. Yearling,

by DizzyDaze

Rating: everyone
Tags: Spike, Daring Do, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1046

Being a bestselling author, A.K. Yearling gets more than enough fan mail. She gets letters every day from adoring readers and publishers. She'd be sick of it, if every once in a while, she didn't get a letter that she actually likes.

Being a bestselling author, A.K. Yearling gets more than enough fan mail. She gets letters every day from adoring readers and publishers. She'd be sick of it, if every once in a while, she didn't get a letter that she actually likes.

Published 2014-05-07 01:40:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-07 01:40:05 UTC

Sincerely, Spike

Dear Ms. Yearling,

My name is Spike the Dragon. I work in a library for a living, so I have always had a vague awareness about your books. Believe me, I've had to reshelve that library so many times, I could recite the order of them all in my sleep. However, I never actually read them before today.

Sure, my best friends all read them, and they always told me how amazing they are. I sort of wanted to read them then, but other things kept coming up, and after a while I sort of accepted that I wouldn't ever get around to it. And I was okay with that. The premise didn't seem all that interesting, to be honest. I've read tons of action and adventure stories. I could go without reading one more.

Then my best friend Twilight Sparkle, who works at the library with me, sat me down this morning and gave me the first book. She ordered me to have the day off and told me I wasn't allowed to leave the room until I finished the book. She does that sometimes, so I've gotten used to it. She just wants me to "expand my mind with literature", because apparently even though I've lived in a library for the past four years, I'm completely ignorant of good reading material. But I digress.

So I read the book. And I'm sure you'd want me to say that I loved it, and it was the greatest thing I've ever read, and gush over all the ways that the story fit together perfectly and whatever else all of your other fan letters say. But to be truthful, I didn't find it all that great.

Sorry.

Don't get me wrong. The plot was excellently composed, and your dialogue is great, too. There's just all of these little things that add up and make me not like it as much as I could.

That's not to say that I don't like it. I'm still going to read the other books in the series, because I'm intrigued. But there's just something about the way that you write that rubs my scales the wrong way. Honestly, I would be fine if I never read this book again.

Your writing reminds me of those ponies who write just to get young ponies to read. You use intelligent vocabulary words, which is great, except you throw five or six into one sentence, to try to get ponies to think they're reading advanced material. It's like you're trying to make them feel smarter when they're really not. It feels like these words are used, not because they're the best choice, but just for the sake of making the reading seem more intellectual. I mean, no one really talks like that. Trust me, I know; I've hung around with a lot of intellectuals in my life.

And some of the similes you use are creative, but just don't work right. Daring was "sweating like a 7th grader doing an oral presentation." Really? Yes, it gets your point across, and I realize that you were trying to avoid cliches, but really? Why can't Daring sweat "like an Eskimo in summer"? Or just forego all similes and say she was sweating "nervously" or "profusely"?

Please don't misunderstand me here. The purpose of this letter isn't to tell you how amazing or terrible you are; I'm sure you get enough of those. I'm just sharing my thoughts with you. I'm a writer, too, so I know how it feels to get feedback on your work.

Ha. I say I'm a writer like we're of the same caliber. I write letters and scientific reports, while you write best-selling novels.

In any case, I understand how it feels to put hours upon hours of work into something, only for it to be shot down. I'm not trying to do that. I realize that there are ponies out there that find absolutely nothing wrong with your books, and would shun me for saying that I dislike them.

But I wouldn't quite say that I dislike them. The first book was decent. Like I said, though, there are a lot of things that could be improved, in my opinion. Maybe your books just aren't for me. That's fine. Everypony is entitled to preferences and opinions.

The content of your books aside, I want to congratulate you for your success. Honestly, I'm impressed that you managed to get yourself and your books out there in the first place, let alone become a best-seller with a huge following of readers and a rumored movie deal. Especially since you live in the middle of Absolute Nowhere, Equestria.

Seriously, Ms. Yearling, when I contacted your publisher to get your mailing address, I was surprised at how isolated you are. I suppose it is possible that you moved there after your books were published to get away from your fans, but somehow I don't think that's it. I'm not going to ask why, though; it's none of my business. All I'm saying is that it shows real dedication on your part to become so famous and still stay so remote and secretive, and I admire that kind of effort. Believe me, sometimes I wish I could escape from everypony around me, too.

Say, do you happen to have any extra space out there? I earn my own keep.  (I'm just kidding. I love Twilight and Ponyville and all of my friends.)

You know, after writing this, I feel like I'm coming to understand what type of a pony you are, even if I'm just talking to myself until you read this. So I would just like to say "Good job." Good job for sticking to your efforts. Good job for becoming a small part of everypony's bookshelves. And most importantly, thank you for putting your ideas out there. I know many ponies that learned to love reading because of your books, and I know they will provide many others with hours of entertainment.

While I might never consider myself a "fan", I can still enjoy your work. But believe me, I'll be sure to point out any issues I have.

Expect many more letters from me in the future.

Sincerely,

Spike the Dragon