Itty-Bitty 2: Revenge of the Tiny

Chapters

That Sinking Feeling
Room Mate
Have a Cigar
Spike Goes On a Diet
The Four Horses
The beginning of the End
Lust (Sins Week)
Pride (Sins Week)
Envy (Sins Week)
Sloth (Sins Week)
Wrath (Sins Week)
A New Kind of Magic
Amareica
Who's that at the Door?
Political Ties
Breaking and Entering
A Deck of Cards
Goodbye, Dear Summer.
The Revenge of Dr.Sugarfree
Hidden in the Shadows (Nightmare Night Special)
A Different Infestation
Dear Santa Hooves (Hearth's Warming Special)
Mercenary Ties
Wisdom of the Ancients
Impending Doom
Prisoner of Yarn
The Throne
From the Darkness...
Memories
Knowledge
Gluttony (Sins Week)
Greed (Sins Week)
Three Statues
An Assassin's Dilemma.
The Yarn's Revenge
Robot Unicorn Vs. Equestria
A Murder Most Foal
The Binding of Spike
The Hunter
Nevermind

That Sinking Feeling

The waves slapped gently against the hull as the ship sailed across the ocean. Twilight wrapped her scarf tighter around her neck to fight back the chilly air around them, and watched the horizon with curiosity. She watched as the horizon seemed to raise and fall as the ship did, she watched the sun slowly set in the west, watched the clouds float by without a care in the world. She wished she could join them, to forget everything and just enjoy the scenery.

Suddenly, her thoughts were interrupted by hoofsteps behind her. She turned and saw the ship's captain approaching her. He tipped his hat and stood next to her.

"Lovely evening we're having, isn't it?"

"Yes, quite."

"Nice clear skies, it'll be smooth sailing tonight."

"I'm glad. I get seasick very easily."

"Really? Then why not fly to your destination?"

"I felt like being a little adventurous."

"Then can I ask you a question, Princess?"

"Of course."

"Why did you choose to stay when the ship is sinking?"

"Wait, what? The ship is sinking?" Twilight yelled out, suddenly aware of the frigid water around her fetlocks and rising. "WHAT THE BUCK CAUSED THIS?"

The captain stood there, frozen in place by both fear and confusion. "You mean you didn't know? We abandoned ship and hour ago!"

"Then why are you here?"

"BECAUSE I'M THE CAPTAIN!" He began to pace, sloshing around in the water. "And here I was all ready to accept my death, the fact that I would freeze in these waters, then drown, but I was alright because the princess was here to comfort me in my final moments, but now she didn't even realize it and now I'm going to be responsible for her death and I'll be a failure and I DON'T WANT TO DIE!" He yelled, grabbing onto Twilight and sobbing uncontrollably.

"There there," Twilight said, trying to comfort him. "After the first minute you'll be too numb to feel the cold anyway."

The water slowly rose above their heads.

Room Mate

A knock at the door summoned Twilight from the world in her novel. She marked her page and closed the book. She made her way to the door and opened it, only to see a Draconequus standing there in the rain. He held a suitcase and wore a hat, and generally looked upset.

"Discord, what are you doing here?" Twilight asked cautiously. She didn't know what Discord was up to, but she had a sneaking suspicion it wassn't good.

"I'm sorry to bother you, Twilight, but Celestia kicked me out of the castle. We got in a little argument." Discord responded. "I need a place to stay for a few days, a week tops, just until she calms down."

"Woah, woah, no way, Discord. I am NOT letting you stay here. Why don't you stay with Fluttershy?"

"Because Fluttershy is out of town for the week. Please Twilight, I have nowhere to go. You wouldn't want to leave me out on the street, to suffer, so cold, so alone. Nothing but the clothes on my back and a full beard to keep me company." Discord flashed and sported a homeless pony look to get his point across.

Twilight sighed. "Fine. A few days, then you go back to Canterlot."

"Oh thank you, Twilight, you have no idea how much this means to me!"

"Whatever. I'll get the guest room set up."

Three Weeks Later

Discord blew his nose into a tissue, which turned into a dove and flew out the window. He wiped the tears from his eyes before setting his head face down on the sofa. He sobbed uncontrollably while Twilight watched with disgust.

"Discord." She said after a minute. "You have been sobbing uncontrollably for three weeks now. The basement is flooded, your laundry now covers the entire house, and Spike went into the guest room two days ago and hasn't seen him since. You need to leave."

"But TWILIGHT!" Discord wailed. "I'm so alone!"

"Maybe I didn't make myself clear." Twilight said, tugging on Discord's bathrobe and pulling his face inches from hers. "You have overstayed your welcome. You said one week, tops. I can't live my life while babysitting you, so you need to get out."

"but, but I..."

"GET THE BUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Twilight yelled, using her magic to throw Discord out the front door, slamming it shut behind her. It opened a moment later and mountain of clothes flew out, covering Discord. He sighed, stood up, and started walking toward Canterlot.

Author's Note

Suggested by FurryFlamer, who wanted a story where Celestia and Discord get in a fight and Discord stays with Twilight.

Have a Cigar

Shining Armor opened the door and stepped into the office. The door slammed shut behind him and he heard the lock click into place, trapping him in the room. He looked around the room, taking in the details.

The walls were wood paneling, no doubt some exotic jungle wood, and probably illegal. The huge desk was a similar looking wood. The large window behind the desk was covered by blinds with large flowing curtains off to one side. A large trophy case displayed pictures in frames, and contained a grenade on display. The leather-clad chair behind the desk had a few small scorch marks in it, no doubt from the usual occupant's habit. An ash tray overflowing with ashes and a stack of papers sat on the desk waiting. A ceiling fan slowly spun on the ceiling, doing hardly anything to fight the heat.

The door opened again and another pony stepped inside. He was taller than Shining Armor, and had a thick beard. His beret sagged to one side and his sunglasses prevented Shining Armor from seeing his eyes.

He sat down and opened up his desk, pulling a wooden box out and opening it. Shining watched as the lid flipped open, revealing a relatively new technology to Equestrians- a gun. The pony reached around it and pulled out a cigar, offering it to Shining Armor without a word.

Shining took the cigar and nodded his thanks. The pony lit the tip for him and he inhaled it deeply. Shining blew the smoke out through his nose while the pony lit his own cigar.

"Now," He said, "What brings the captain of the Equestrian guard to Hoovana, I thought you Equestrians had an embargo against us."

"Equestria does, but not the Crystal Empire."

"Yes, I had heard the rumors about the return. So I am speaking to more than just a captain then, is that correct?"

"It is. But I come here as a diplomat, not a prince. The empire is willing to open up trade of specific goods in exchange for monetary compensation and our goods."

"Was this the Princess's request?"

"No, this is a personal request. I may be born Equestrian, but even I know that this embargo only hurts both nations. I am offering something I did not have the power to do as captain of the guard. Hoovana gets some modern industry, and I get a decent cigar from someplace not so strict about growing tobacco."

"So you smoke?"

"Occasionally, yes."

"Well then, come with me and we'll discuss the terms." The pony said, standing and walking out the door. Shining armor stood and followed.

Author's Note

Think "Fidel Castro" when you think of the pony Shining Armor is talking to, it makes it more believable that way. Also, couldn't think of a pony-pun for Cuba, so the whole country is Hoovana

I do not endorse smoking of any kind. I don't do it myself but I'm not going to stop anyone else. If they want to ruin their body that's their choice.

Spike Goes On a Diet

Spike scarfed down another tub of ice cream, throwing it aside and licking the spoon. Twilight watched from the other side of the table, a look of disgust on her face. She cleared her throat to get Spike's attention.

"Ahem, Spike, I think you need to cut back on the junk food."

"What makes you say that, Twilight?" Spike said, popping the lid off another tub of ice cream.

"Okay, lets think about this, shall we? We came to ponyville a few years ago, before we left, you had an appointment with your pediatrician. You weighed 40 pounds, now given that not much is actually known about dragons we don't have a very good frame of reference, but I'm going to assume that is normal. You met with another doctor a couple of weeks ago and you weighed 95 pounds. More than twice the weight. I would factor in your growth if it was significant, but you've only grown about 4 inches taller... not all that much."

"So what? Maybe I'm just really dense?"

"If you count pudge as dense, than you are denser than the sun. You may have only 4 inches taller, but you've grown about 8 inches wider. You need to go on a diet. At least cut back a bit and exercise more."

"Ugh, fine. I'll start tomorrow."

One Week Later

Spike grabbed the door handle and pulled, ripping the door off the hinges. He winced and ducked to fit through the doorway. His deep voice boomed through the building. "Twilight, I accidentally broke the door again!"

"I'll fix it later, Spike, I have some news!"

"What is it?"

"I've done some research and I found that sugar actually stunts dragon growth. There are ancient texts that tell that ponies used to use sugar to stop dragons from experiencing greed growth."

"So... what's that mean?"

"When they were not being given the sugar anymore, the dragons experienced huge growth spurts because their bodies were playing catch up." Twilight said, she gestured to spike. "Your huge muscle growth and size increase in the last week is because you aren't eating junk food anymore! No more junk food means no more sugar!"

"...That would explain a lot."

"Yeah..." Twilight said. "Sooo, I guess I'll fix the door now?"

"Alright, I'll just... try not to break anything else?"

"okay."

Author's Note

Have a Spike story, because I hadn't written one in a while. Awkward ending is awkward. Dragon lore is... dragony?

Disclaimer: Author accepts no responsibility for the accuracies and/or inaccuracies of Spike's measurements of growth and/or weight. Spike is a mythological creature from an imaginary world meant for entertainment purposes. The work presented here is a peice of writing about said creature from said world also intended for entertainment purposes. The author laughs at your attempts to disprove his purely fictional story about a world of cartoon horses.

The Four Horses

A looming shadow looked over the crystal bowl in front of it. The bowl was filled with water, and as the shadow phased into a more tangible form it gently hovered its hoof over the water. The water shimmered, revealing the world. The pony focused and the image began to change, now showing a small town, on the outskirts of town a large crystal castle stood, towering over the buildings.

The pony sighed. His armor clanked as it shifted over his red coat. His sword lay in its sheath across his back, matching his cutie mark.

"What is it?" another pony said from the other side of the room. "What do you see, War?"

War turned to look at the other pony. She was disgustingly thin, she wore a dress that had been reduced to rags, her skeleton could easily be distinguished through her black fur, her cutie mark was a set of scales.

"Famine," He addressed her. "I have seen the one the others have spoken about. The mortal known as Twilight Sparkle."

"We need to do something about her. She will disrupt the order of things to come." A third pony said, entering the room. He was white and had a bow across his back along with a quiver full of arrows. He coughed a few times, and his skins rippled with diseased boils.

"What can we do, Pestilence?" War said. "She has the backing of harmony itself. We can't control the natural forces of the universe."

"No..." A final voice said, the others all turned and watched as the final pony entered the room. She was ash grey, with tired eyes. Her head hung low. She carried nothing but her cutie mark was covered by her long black cloak. "We may not control them, but in time they will allow us to do what needs to be done. Harmony and Chaos know what must happen to keep the balance. We will have out chance."

"But Death, when will we know the right time?"

Death approached the bowl and gazed into it. "I do not know, but I do know that the time is coming soon." She looked to the others. "Things have been lining up in the universe. Only a few more pieces need to fall into place, and the time will be soon."

Back on earth, Twilight and her friends explored the castle, unaware they were being watched.

Author's Note

A MLP version of the four horsemen of the apocalypse. Honestly, why have a I not seen this done before? Really, the fandom is slacking!

The beginning of the End

Rainbow Dash sat on the cold metal table, looking around curiously. She had to be careful not to move too much, because her neck was bandaged. The room she was in was pretty plain, the table she sat on was in the middle of the room, and a heavy iron door with a tiny window was the only other thing she could see. There was also a mirror spanning the length of the wall behind her, but she didn't turn around to look at it.

The mirror was only one way. On the other side of it was a dark room, where two ponies stood watching Rainbow. One of them adjusted his glasses and straightened his lab coat. He spoke to the other.

"Explain to me one more time what happened."

Twilight sighed. "For the twelfth time, we were walking through Ponyville's Cemetery because it was a shorter path than going around, when some crazy homeless pony jumped out and bit rainbow Dash in the neck. I used my magic to stop her from bleeding out, then reported the incident to the police while I brought her to the hospital.

"And what happened to the homeless pony?"

"No idea. He stumbled off after he bit her."

"Twilight, I'm going to tell you something, and I need you to believe me, no matter how strange it sounds."

"Alright?"

"That homeless pony was a zombie. Rainbow Dash could be in a lot of danger right now."

"Wait, what?"

"You heard me. A zombie. The way I see it Rainbow Dash has a few days if she's lucky. She seems to be doing fine now, but soon she'll get sick, then die, then come back."

"Doctor, do you really expect me to believe this? Zombies are nothing more than a myth." The doctor turned to Twilight, his eyes burning with memories that no pony should have to deal with.

"Princess Celestia doesn't tell her subjects everything, Twilight. I bet you didn't know we're fighting a wave of these things coming from the north. We don't know where they came from, but they are ruthless, brutal, and ave no moral restraints. We suspect dark magic. I know, I've been there. I've studied them, fought them myself. I've lost friends to them, and now they're here in Ponyville. We may not have much time."

Twilight and the doctor continued to argue in the dark room, meanwhile, Rainbow Dash was beginning to feel feverish, and was getting the strangest craving for some brains.

Author's Note

And...ZOMBIES! As suggested by Pixel Berry98

Lust (Sins Week)

Elegance, grace, beauty. These are words ponies often use to describe Ponyville's resident dress maker, Rarity. One who could be inspired by the smallest detail and create something of beauty from nothing. She was known all throughout Equestria for her skills with a needle and thread, and her social skills as well.

None knew her secret life. One of sensual lust. Her social status didn't just limit itself to garden parties, after all, and a large portion of it was in private. Any stallion in Rarity's circle could get a call anytime, and when Rarity calls, "no" is not an answer. Tonight however, it was a little different. She wanted something new, something fresh, and the stallion walking next to her was just the thing she wanted.

Rarity was going for the classic "I'm too drunk to function" act, stumbling and slurring her words, but in reality it was only that-an act. She wanted to be sober for this.

The stallion next to her was thinking something different. He saw a poor, helpless, drunk mare, and he was a gentlecolt. He wouldn't do anything to her, he was just making sure she got home okay. As they approached the door to her home, he noticed a change in her. She was suddenly much better at walking, spoke more clearly, and made on thing perfectly clear.

She would get what she wanted from him.

The door opened and he was forced inside, Rarity slammed it shut and locked it before dragging the helpless stallion up the stairs by his tail. She whispered to him, all the dirty things they would do. If it wern't for the magic bubble around him he would have screamed.

Rarity would have her way, and this stallion would be added to her circle.

Author's Note

OH MY GOD IT WAS SO HARD TO KEEP THIS ONE RATED TEEN I WAS LITERALLY TWO WORDS AWAY THE WHOLE TIME FROM WRITING A CLOPFIC YOU PEOPLE OWE ME SO MUCH!

Also, this is actually a re-write from my original idea. Do you know how hard it is to keep a story about lust rated teen? DO YOU??!?! The original idea strayed too far from the sin and actually made Rarity more into a blackmailing scoundrel than a nymph.

Pride (Sins Week)

The blue sky above called to her, and the white clouds would be no match for her. Rainbow Dash crouched low and then launched into the sky, setting sights on the first cloud. Flying straight through it, the cloud burst. a few droplets of water fell to the ground below, but nothing else. Rainbow Dash flipped, twisted, and flew to the next cloud, and the next, until soon the whole sky was clear.

She wiped her forehead, a cocky grin on her face, and landed next to her friends. They showered her with praise.

"Good job, Rainbow! That's the fastest time yet!"

"That was a fine piece of work, sugarcube!"

"Excellent work dear, those pesky clouds vanished quite wonderfully."

"Oh wow! did you see the way she zoomed around? ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM! and then the way she flipped and twisted and all hher tricks and-"

"Pinkie means that she enjoyed the show, Dash."

"Heh, of COURSE you enjoyed it! I mean, hey, I don't just do this for me, you know."

"Oh really?" Twilight responded, curious to see where this was leading.

"Well duh, egghead! I do it for all my fans! I gotta keep awesome so they can keep celebrating my coolness! Really, I bet the only reason I'm not a Wonderbolt yet is because I would overshadow the entire rest of the team, no one can beat me!" Rainbow Dash continued to ramble on about how cool she was. The others looked at each other and sighed, then, as one, turned around and walked away. Rainbow, with her back toward them, did not see them go and soon was talking to herself in the middle of an open field.

Author's Note

Gluttony, Lust, Pride... I think you can probably guess which ponies I'm using for each sin.

Envy (Sins Week)

The woods were calm and quiet, just the way Fluttershy liked it. It was a peaceful Sunday afternoon, the sun was high above in the clear skies, and a gentle breeze rolled through the trees, cooling the air to a perfect temperature.

Fluttershy hummed to herself as she worked. Checking on the baby birds born this spring was her first task. She wanted to make sure they were healthy, after all.

She trotted down the path, stopping suddenly as she heard a noise up ahead. Looking around the shrubs, Fluttershy saw two colts nearby a tree, looking at something on the ground.

Fluttershy approached slowly. "Um, excuse me? What are you two doing out here all by yourselves?"

The two colts turned around. "We came out here because we were bored. But then some stupid bird pooped on us! We showed it, though!" They stepped aside, where a robin lay cowering, one wing over its fae, the other over a small fluffy ball that could only be the bird's newly hatched chick. The nest lay broken a few feet away.

"OH NO! Fluttershy yelled, pushing the two colts aside and running up to te bird. "WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS? IT WAS A HELPLESS LITTLE BIRDY!"

"It pooped on me!" One of them replied, looking angry. "The dumb thing deserved it!"

"No it didn't!" Fluttershy began to cry. "It didn't mean to, and now look! The baby probably won't survive, and the mother is tramatized!"

"Pfft. Whatever. We're out of here." The colts turned to walk away, but stopped suddenly when another pony landed in front of them.

"What the BUCK is your problem?" Rainbow Dash yelled to the colts. They suddenly felt afraid. "Just what makes you think you can pick on a helpless animal like that? AND you made Fluttershy cry! That's two strikes. Try me for a third." She said, glaring at the two of them. "Now, you two are going to apologize to Fluttershy, then we're going to go have a chat with your mothers. Understand?"

"Yes, Rainbow Dash." The two colts nodded. "We're sorry Fluttershy." They said before Rainbow Dash grabbed them by their manes and dragged them away. Fluttershy watched them go, then turned back to the injured bird.

"It's okay," she said, not too sure of it herself. She kept glancing over her shoulder at the three ponies marching away.

"I want to be you." Fluttershy whispered, picking up the bird in her arms. "I want to be everything you are. I'd kill to have your confidence, your skills, your everything."

"I'd kill for it." She whispered again, flying off toward her cottage with the bird.

Author's Note

CURSE THE 500 WORD LIMIT! This would be better if I could go beyond that, but overall I'm pretty happy with it. Though not exactly the best example of Envy, I think it fits Fluttershy well.

Sloth (Sins Week)

"Good job, everypony! We'll have the snow cleared in no time!" Applejack called out over the field of ponies with snowplows. She herself stood at the top of the hill watching, occasionally shouting words of encouragement.

She stepped back to a table set up with hot chocolate on it. She poured herself a mug full and sat down in her favorite chair. Soon, another pony approached her.

"Hey Applejack, can we talk?"

"Hmm? Oh sure thing, Caramel. What's on your mind?"

"Well, a few of us have been talking and we just want to know why we're doing all the work out here while you just sit here watching?"

"I told you before, I'm this winter wrap up's earth team leader, so that means I get to supervise you fellas."

"But you aren't doing anything."

"No, I'm supervising you. You guys work for me, and I make sure you do it right."

"That's not how leadership works, Applejack. Leadership is actually out there helping us. We're out there working out in the cold and snow, shivering our flank off, and you've got yourself a comfy seat up here."

"And what do you know about leadership? I've never seen a stallion more afraid to speak his mind. Even my brother has better arguments than you."

"At least I'm not Celestia-damned lazy, AJ! You're being beyond lazy! If anypony is capable of clearing all this snow it's you, and yet, given a position of power you sit on your rear better than any politician in their fancy office!" Caramel stopped his hoof and turned around, marching angrily down the hill.

"Caramel! Get the buck back here!" AJ yelled, still sitting down. "Ah, forget him. I'll deal with it later." she said, leaning back and settling her hat over her eyes. "First I'm gonna take a quick nap."

Author's Note

SURPRISE! APPLEJACK IS SLOTH! MUHAHAHA!

Yeah. Poor planning made me give AJ the sin that is LEAST like her, but It's necessary for the rest of the week, which I'm pretty sure ALL of you can figure out the last two, wrath and greed.

Wrath (Sins Week)

Twilight Sparkle flipped through the pages of the book again, finding nothing, she slammed her hoof on the desk.

"WHERE THE BUCK IS IT?" She yelled. "I CAN'T BUCKING FIX THIS IS I CAN'T FIND THE SPELL!"

"Twilight?" Spike said, "are you okay?"

"No, Spike, I'm not okay." Twilight said. "I was experimenting with a new spell, when the stupid thing did NOTHING it was supposed to do!" She closed the book. "WORTHLESS PIECE OF BUFFALO CRAP!" She yelled again, swiping her hoof across the desk and knocking everything off the desk. She yelled out loud again before standing up and kicking over the desk.

"Twilight, stop it! What are you doing?"

"SHUT UP SPIKE!" Twilight threw the chair across the room, it exploded into splinters once it hit the wall.

"Twilight, calm down! I-I have to go, I have to get help, this isn't like you!"

Twilight used her magic to slam the door shut moments before spike reached it. Spike turned back to look at her, fear in his eyes.

"You are not going anywhere, you worthless lizard." She said, voice suddenly deeper, eyes glowing red. "I own you, and you will do as I say!" She approached him slowly.

Spike made himself as small as possible, fearing for his life.

Author's Note

While writing this I remembered that Itty-Bitty 1 also had a chapter named "Wrath" but this one is a lot different than the other one.

This one is also REALLY freaking dark when you think about it.

Sue me.

A New Kind of Magic

A Griffin was a rare sight in Equestria. Normally they kept to themselves, living in their cities to the north. This one seemed to realize that however, and his beak was cracked into a huge smile as all the eyes of the townsponies were upon him. He made his way to the town square and remove his backpack, setting it down and reaching inside. He cleared his throat and grabbed a small horn filled with a gray powder.

"LADIES AND GENTLEBIRDS! I-I mean, gentlecolts!" He said, shrugging off the cultural stumble. "I COME FROM THE GRIFFIN CITY OF LION'S DEN, WHERE WE HAVE MADE AN ASTOUNDING DISCOVERY!" By this time he had gathered a small crowd, and it continued to grow as more ponies were attracted to his voice. He poured some of the powder onto the ground, then struck a match.

"We have discovered a powerful new magic, one which I feel can only benefit the whole world, I have come to show you this magic, the magic we call, GUNPOWDER!" He dropped the match onto the powder, it exploded in a brilliant display of light and fire, the crowd gasped.

"This 'gunpowder' is a simple combination of earthen elements, refined by our best alchemists to produce the best possible product. 'What can it do?' I hear you ask, well, let me show you!" He reached into his bag again and withdrew a metal tube. Pouring some of the powder down the tube, he put a small stone inside and lit a fuse on the end, he pointed the tube toward a glass bottle he had set up earlier.

BANG!

Fire flew from the top of the tube once the fuse burned down. It kicked back, but the bottle shattered, the crowd gasped again. The Griffin smiled and turned back tot h crowd. "Think, an army supplied with this new magic, no foe could stand in their way. Imagine if the whole world had this magic, there would be no wars, for fear of being decimated. This magic has finally brought peace on earth, and you Equestrians can lead the charge!"

Twilight Sparkle watched the display from the back of the crowd. "I don't like this, Spike."

"Me neither, I smell trouble." The dragon responded, crossing his arms.

Author's Note

"My factories may make an end of war sooner than your congresses. The day when two army corps can annihilate each other in one second, all civilized nations, it is to be hoped, will recoil from war and discharge their troops."
-Alfred Nobel

Think of the Griffin as Alfred Nobel, he thought dynamite would help end all wars, but sadly it gave him a bad reputation as the "Merchant of Death". To make sure his legacy wasn't left at that, he left most of his fortune to the founding if the Nobel Peace Prize.

I've written about ponies using guns before, but I like to think of this as the first discovery of gunpowder, disregard any thoughts you have on any sort of canon to these stories, there is none, just take each one as sort of its own universe.

Amareica

Rainbow Dash groaned as another boom sounded through the night. She rolled over onto her stomach and covered her head with a pillow, trying to drown out the sound and lights that came every few seconds.

Normally, she rather enjoyed fireworks. They were awesome. But when she lived in a cloud house in the sky and her new neighbors celebrated some stupid holiday in the middle of the night they tended to be much louder and much more dangerous. This last point was proven when a rocket shot right through her floor, leaving a trail of smoke behind it as it exploded just above her ceiling, leaving a large hole in the roof. Rainbow Dash screamed in pain and anger, covering her ears while rubbing her eyes with her wings.

Alright, she has had enough. She dove through the cloud floor, dodging another rocket, turning around to see it take another chunk out of her house.

"ALRIGHT! WHAT THE BUCK ARE YOU GUYS DOING?!" She yelled when she landed right next to the Griffons that had moved in below her.

"Heya, Miss. Dash!" One of them said. "Come to celebrate with us?"

"No, I cam to see why the buck you guys are shooting fireworks through my house! Seriously, I could have been killed!"

"Oh, we're sorry, Rainbow. I guess we just got carried away. It is a special day, you know."

"Actually, I don't know. What's so special about today?"

The family of Griffons looked at her like she sprouted a second head.

"It's Amareican Independence day!" One of them cried. "How do you not know of the greatest holiday ever?"

"Look, guys, I get you are proud of your heritage and stuff, but this isn't Amareica, this is Equestria, and we don't celebrate it here, got it?"

"Well maybe you should! Do you Equestrians hate us because we wooped your tails?"

"What? What does that-"

"Maybe you're just racist, are you?"

"Amareican isn't even a race!" Rainbow yelled. "Would you guys listen to me?"

"No, because you're anti-Amareican! How could you not celebrate the founding of the greatest country ever?"

"BECAUSE EQUESTRIANS DON'T CELEBRATE IT! IT ISN'T AN EQUESTRIAN HOLIDAY! YOU AMAREICANS ARE SO FREAKING CLOSED-MINDED THAT YOU THINK EVERYONE LIKES YOU! YOU THINK YOU ARE THE KINGS OF THE WORLD! SERIOUSLY, THE ONLY THING I HATE MORE THAN AN AMAREICAN IS A CHEESE-EATING SURRENDER MONKEY!"

"The French? Yeah, we hate them too."

"I'm glad we can agree on something. But can you guys take down that flag? I'm sort of offended by it."

"Buck you, Rainbow Dash! We ain't doing that because we're Amareicans!"

"MAREICA!" The others yelled in response.

Author's Note

So its a couple of days late... I was busy on the 4th and had to work on the 5th.

Here's my reason for using Griffons as Americans: The United States' national animal is the Bald Eagle. Griffons are part eagle. See the connection? Also, American stereotypes are hilarious, and I'm an American.

Who's that at the Door?

She sat there, in that chair, waiting for the inevitable knock at the door. It happened every day, sometimes more than once, but she dared not answer it. Not since that fateful tragedy ruined her mental state of mind. The memory played again and again in her head.

Then, like clockwork, a sound echoed through the home. A simple knock, sounding three times. She placed her back against the door, as if she could convince the pony outside to go away. She peaked through the peephole and watched them as they turned to leave.

She slid down the door until she was sitting on the floor, she sighed, looking around the room. It seemed empty, though it was full of her things. She went back over to her chair and sat in it, placing her face in her hooves and sobbed quietly. Then another knock sounded. This one took her by surprise, being so soon after the last one. It was louder, slower, more demanding of her attention. She quietly made her way back over, and, blinking the tears from her eyes she looked through the peephole again.

Her friends were there, all of them. She moved away from the door and back to the chair. They knocked again.

"Hey, are you there?" One of them called. "We haven't seen you for weeks. We want to make sure you're okay."

Go away. She thought. Leave me alone. I want to be alone.

They waited for a long time. The clock on the wall counted the seconds. Then they shrugged, turned around and left.

She breathed a sigh of relief, then went back into her self-loathing depression.

A few hours later, another knock at the door. She started to get up, then was stopped short.

"Fluttershy? It's Spike. I brought you some groceries since I figured you'd be running low by now. I'm not expecting you to come out, but remember that Harry wouldn't want to see you like this. Harry would want the old Fluttershy back. Applejack has been taking care of the animals, but it's just not the same. We want you back, Fluttershy."

...

"Alright. I guess you don't want to talk. I'll just leave the bags by the door, okay? You come get them when you feel like it."

It would be a few hours until Fluttershy got the bags. The milk was spoiled from being left out, and the cheese was starting to smell, but it was a huge step in her recovery.

Author's Note

Inspired by "Who Can It Be Now?" By Men at Work, except instead of having a mental patient trying to hide from people, we get depressed Fluttershy grieving for a huge loss. (literally, Harry is huge compared to Flutters.)

I purposefully didn't explain what happened, so go ahead and speculate all you want.

Political Ties

Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle,

I feel it would be in both of our nation's best interest to accept open diplomatic relations in the form of an embassy in your capital of Canterlot, and your subsequent embassy in the Griffon Capital City of Northfeather. Do you accept?

-General Ironwing

Dear General Ironwing, It would be my honor and privilege to allow the development of our diplomatic relation. I accept the offer. I will be sending our best ambassadors in hopes of finding the best way to satisfy both parties.

-Princess Twilight Sparkle

Twilight reread the original letter and corosponance again and again, wondering how a budding friendship had turned south so fast. She put the letter down and picked up the next one.

Princess Twilight Sparkle,

I have noticed your strong ties with the Diamond Dog Empire. I also have opened relations with them, hopefully this makeshift alliance will stand the test of time.

-General Ironwing

She picked up the next letter, looking this one over carefully.

Princess,

I have been informed that you have become close to The Minotaur States. I advise you to rethink this decision, the Minotaur are a ruthless and brutal race and are not to be trusted.

-General Ironwing

The next one was even more unsettling.

Princess,

Due to their oppressive and disrespectful acts against our kind, the Griffon Empire has decided to declare war against Zebrabwe. We ask for your support in this endeavor to cleanse the world of a true evil.

General,

I am afraid Equestria must decline supporting this war. We have had nothing but good relations with Zebrabwe and could not perform such an action as it would ruin our alliance. I advise you settle your differences diplomatically, let this not degrade into bloodshed.

Princess,

We are disapointed by your lack of support, and clearly do not understand how you could become allies with such uncultured swine. We will be withdrawing our ambassadors from your lands and closing our borders until we have settled our dispute with Zebrabwe. The Diamond Dogs have accepted our offer, and will be handsomely rewarded.

General,

I find it very disrespectful and rude for you to cut off relations like that. I demand you allow diplomatic channels to be opened again so we may resolve this issue peacefully, else we will be forced to resort to military exploits.

If it's a war you want, it's a war you'll get. Expect us.

-Emperor Irontail the Magificant

Twilight read the letters again, outside the palace the city burned, she waited until the door was broken down, and raised her hooves above her head as Griffon muskets aimed at her.

Equestria has lost its capitol! 3 Nations remain in possession of their capitols!

Twilight Sparkle looked at the computer screen. She sighed, then clicked "Exit to Windows"

Author's Note

So I've been playing a lot of Civ 5 lately. Haven't had a chance to try out every country yet, but so far Germany is my favorite. This fic inspired by my relations with at least one country in every match I play.

Breaking and Entering

Canterlot, Royal District, 22:00

Guards patrolled the streets nearest the palace, their armor glimmering as the spotlights struck the snow around them in the frozen night. Their spears and broadswords sharp enough to slice through bone. A lone Stallion in a dark cloak watched from the shadows. His eyes scanned the guards, taking in their routes, their strengths and weaknesses. The fabric across his face did little to stop his breath from showing, but it didn't matter to him.

Slowly, he made his way through the streets, dodging guards by ducking into slender door frames and behind garbage, using the shadows to stay concealed. Checking to make sure the coast was clear, he made a mad dash across the road to the low wall just before the gates. Luckily the streets had already been plowed, or his hoof steps would lead guards right to him. He froze suddenly, making himself as small as possible behind the wall as he heard hoof steps crunching through the snow. A guard, armor gleaming but neck wrapped in a scarf, stopped just on the other side of the wall. He looked around, and seeing nothing, continued on his way.

The cloaked pony jumped the wall and moved in the opposite direction the guard had went, using his own hoof steps to conceal his movements.

He swiftly made his way to the gate, eyes glued to the security booth. The guard inside was reading a paper. The pony slipped into the booth, wrapping his arms around his neck and throwing him to the ground. He then pulled the gate release lever, the iron bars groaned as they opened.

The noise must have been heard by a few guards, because soon spotlights were all shining toward the gate, where a pony in dark clothing stood in absolute terror. Guards ran his way, and he found himself surrounded by spears, swords, and crossbows.

The pony laughed and took off his mask, shaking out his blue mane. "Nice job boys, you stopped me before I reached the castle, however, I'm disappointing that no one saw me until a rusty gate gave me away."

"captain, you were being extra difficult tonight."

Shining Armor turned to the guard. "Any thief, or highness forbid, assassin that comes here isn't going to show up casually walking down the street. You need to be alert to your surroundings, look everywhere, and be alert at all times. Now someone get me a coat, i'm freezing out here."

Author's Note

WOAH. WOAH. It's been a while since I updated. Trust me, I've been wanting to, and I've had this nagging feeling in my gut that I need to update, I need to publish something, but ya know, life 'n stuff, and a lack of ideas to write.

Yeah, actually I did put out a blog post a few days ago with kind of a sneak peak to something I've been working on in my spare time. If you haven't seen it, check it out on my blog. I put it up at a stupid time, so no one actually saw it. I'd like some opinions on it before I go any further with it. I'd appreciate any feedback.

Thanks a lot for your patience, ladies and gents!

By the Way, I see Shining Armor more as a "hands-on" kind of captain, one who actually participates in training his guards (playing against them, of course.) And in my head canon he actually was trained in the ninja arts to become a better soldier, hence the stealthy approach, and only attacking that one guard instead of running in guns-a-blazin'.

A Deck of Cards

Luna sat on a cushion in front of a woven mat on the floor. She idly shuffled a worn out deck of cards, one she had recently found while cleaning out her closet, way in the back. The cards were special to her, and to many other ponies as well.

She stopped shuffling and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath before she started to set the cards face down on the mat, she placed five cards, starting from the left, then the right, the top, the bottom, and then finally placing on in the very center. She opened her eyes and spoke softly to herself.

"If I remember this correctly, the left card represents the past..." She flipped the card over, it revealed a card with a moon on it.

"The right card reveals the future..." She flipped it, revealing a card depicting a queen upon her throne, a bored look on her face and a sword in her hoof.

"The top card reveals the question," She said. Flipping it revealed an image of a large stone tower. She was confused at first, then shook her head and focused back on the cards. Two more remained.

"The bottom represents those involved, or events that may occur." The card was flipped, revealing the stars. Finally, one card remained. The middle card represented the actual prediction. The card was influenced by the readings of the other cards. Luna swallowed hard, then flipped the card over.

She froze. The card was an image of a skeleton, holding a black rose in one hoof and leaning on a scythe. Below it on the ground was the headless body of a pony.

Luna began sweating. She knew death didn't necessarily mean physical death in Tarot, but it meant the end of things, major changes, sudden stops, things like that. Combined with the other cards, the moon represented her, of course, stars, she assumed, meant the elements of harmony, the tower represented chaos, so she associated that with Discord.

That left The Empress. It could mean many things, most of them good, like fertility, life, and good health. But it confused her. The empress was a powerful card in the deck, it had huge meaning, yet was one of the most vague cards of all.

Luna collected the cards and shuffled them again. She didn't know what the prediction meant, but it meant something big was on the horizon for her. She could just feel it.

Author's Note

~OOOOoooOOOOooooOOOO~! VAGUE CLIFFHANGERS! SO SPOOOOoooooOOOOKKKY!!!

I personally find Tarot readings an interesting concept, though I'm a skeptic about pretty much any fortune telling methods. From my research I couldn't actually find a "standard" way to read tarot cards, so I went with a method I heard about from one of my friends who does believe this sort of thing.

Goodbye, Dear Summer.

Applebloom looked at the journal she held in her hoof. she ran her other hoof along the cover. The soft leather was well worn, despite only being a few months old. The shield emblem on the front still shone brightly, despite having to be reattached a few times. She opened the cover, flipping to the first page and reading it over, she did this to each page, taking in the words written down, and smiling at the memories they caused.

She flipped to the very last page in the book, picked up her pen, and began to write.

Summer's gone. It was a quick one, too quick if you ask me, but I don't really mind. The farm is going to get busy pretty soon while we harvest, and school is starting next week so I get to see all my friends again.

Not that I'd ever replace my two best friends in the whole world. We've been through a lot these past few months. Ever since we started documenting our adventures in this journal, just like our big sisters, we've been having a lot more than we could ever think of. This journal is going to help us remember, years down the road, when we're old and gray, about all the moments we shared.

I remember when Scootaloo broke her leg going down that hill on her scooter. Looking back I find it pretty funny, even Rainbow Dash gave her a good lesson.

I remember when Sweetie Belle got that letter from Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. We were so happy for her, but also a little bitter sweet. She starts in two weeks, and she'll be in Canterlot until next summer.

Finally, I remember when I got that really bad sunburn for staying outside too long. I could barely move it hurt so bad, but my friends still visited me every day while it healed. I liked that.

Another summer has come and gone, but really, I don't mind it. I was able to spend it with my two best friends, and no matter what, we'll always be the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

-Applebloom

"Wow, Applebloom, that was really cheesy."

"Really? Then why were you crying the whole time she wrote it, Scootaloo?" Sweetie Belle smirked.

"B-B-Because it was just so dumb!" Scootaloo tried to reply, blushing.

"Yeah, sure." Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes. Applebloom chuckled and closed the book.

"Come on, girls, let's get one more night of crusading under our belts before the summer officially ends."

"You know I'm in!" Scootaloo said, Sweetie Belle nodded too. "Come on, let's get going!" She took off, running across the field into the sunset. Sweetie Belle laughed and took off after her. Applebloom smiled, put the journal in her saddle bags, and ran to catch up with them.

Author's Note

I wrote this to celebrate a summer that went too quick. I started my 5th semester at college this week, and my schedule is all over the place due to classes I need only being offered at specific times, but I do have an awesome professor for 4/6 of my classes. The other two are meh, but still cool.

Anyway, how'd everyone enjoy their summer? I hope it was a fun one full of good memories. Now it's time to say goodbye until next year! Personally though, I don't mind fall all that much, in fact I actually like it better than summer. It's cooler, for a start, no 90 degree days, and Halloween is in the fall (my favorite holiday) and My birthday is also in October.

The Revenge of Dr.Sugarfree

The door to the bank burst open, the denizens inside cowered as the assailant entered and demanded everyone on the ground. He was a tall stallion, dressed in a white coat, with a giant toothbrush slung over his back, he grinned, and his perfect smile blinded everyone in the room. He approached the counter.

"Give me the sugar, ALL OF IT!" He yelled to the bank teller, the candy cane behind the desk shook in fear as she started to put sacks of sugar on the counter. "Disgusting." He said, "All you candies disgust me! With all your sweetness and sugar, it makes me sick to think about what you do to perfect teeth."

"Not so fast, Dr. Sugarfree!" Someone yelled from outside the door, the doctor turned with shock that anyone would dare try to stop him.

"Sweet Tooth." He growled, withdrawing his giant toothbrush. "I should have known you'd try to stop me. But you're too late!"

"Oh, am I?" Pinkie Pie said, dressed in her super hero disguise of Sweet Tooth, the Sugary Avenger. "You've forgotten, doctor, that I hear everything because of the radioactive sugar that gave me my powers. I know about your plan to use the world's sugar supply to destroy all the sugar factories in the world."

"IT DESTROYS EVERYTHING IT TOUCHES! ITS ALL 'CHOCOLATE THIS' AND CANDY CORN THAT' WELL I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! IF YOU WANT THIS SUGAR, YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT FROM MY COLD, LIFELESS HOOVES!"

"Okay." Sweet Tooth said with a smile. "Cotton candy blaster: GO!" She yelled, pointing her hoof towards the doctor. A strand of cotton candy shot outwards, sticking to the doctor's chest. He gasped in surprise, and the sugary avenger ran in circles around him, tangling him in a net of cotton candy.

"AAGHH!" It Burns!" The doctor yelled, "Curse your Tooty Frooty flavors!"

"Hey, doc, you know what my favorite flavor of flouride is?" Sweet Tooth said, pushing a button on her suit, a giant cannon burst out of her backpack, comically oversized.

"Oh no."

"Chocolate!" She yelled, firing 500 gallons of molten chocolate toward the doctor. It cooled and solidified on impact, encasing the villain in 3 feet of delicious chocolate. The crowd cheered, for the day had been saved, thanks to the heroic efforts of Sweet Tooth, the maskd sugary avenger of Condytropolis!

Author's Note

Sorry for not updating in a while, I've been busy with work, college, and my new girlfriend. I actually thought of making this its own stand-alone story but thought "Nah, when have I ever made a decent one of those?" So here I am, writing on IB2 instead of working on my pre-midterm midterm project for my advanced 3d modeling class.

Hidden in the Shadows (Nightmare Night Special)

Nightmare Night, a celebration everyone in Equestria loved. To many, this holiday was about dressing up and having fun, telling scary stories and playing harmless pranks, and of course, who could forget the candy? Next to Hearth's Warming, this holiday was the one looked forward to the most by Equestrians.

As the citizens of Ponyville gathered near the center of town for the mayor's speech and the Tale of Nightmare Moon, as told by Zecora, a few ponies prepared themselves in the woods for their special surprise.

The Surprise was, unsurprisingly, Princess Luna's traditional visit to the town every year as her former cursed self. Of course it was just a magic disguise, the real Nightmare Moon was defeated years ago.

This year Twilight Sparkle had the idea to spice things up so that the tradition could continue without getting stale. The others agreed, and that is why they were waiting in the woods, along the path the children would take, dressed up to be as spooky as possible. Twilight looked around to make sure everyone was in place. She saw Pinkie Pie standing out in the open, doing something to a tree. Curious, Twilight stepped out of her hiding spot and approached her.

"Pinkie, what are you doing?" She asked.

"Oh hi Twilight! I'm just adding some final touches to our scare fest. Check it out!" She stepped to the side so Twilight could see her work. On the side of the tree Pinkie had painted "Turn back now" and "Do not go further". Looking around, she saw that many of the trees were painted with such phrases. Twilight nodded her approval, and, hearing the sound of large group of hoof steps approaching, she grinned and ran to her hiding place.

Soon, the children made their way into the clearing near the giant statue of Nightmare Moon. Dead silence fell over them as they took in the creepiness of the area. That's when Twilight noticed something was off... Pinkie Pie was right there with the group, pouring candy in front of the statue. But, she wasn't supposed to be there. She was supposed to be hiding to jump out and scare everyone. While Twilight thought about this, she didn't notice the hoof steps behind her...

Or the insane grin from the Pinkie Pie copy that held the bloody axe, decorated with the skin of her friends...

Author's Note

NIGHTMARE NIGHT! WHAT A FRIGHT! GIVE ME SOMETHING SWEET TO BITE!

Or don't... that's fine too. Just ignore the talking corgi dressed as an authentic plague doctor... Not like I worked all year on this costume or anything...

*Opens a carton of rotten eggs, staring at your windows angrily*

(Serious note: Happy Halloween guys! Sorry this isn't a very good chapter, but it was written last minute and I've been pretty busy lately. I hope you at least had a good chuckle at the "suspenseful" ending. Also, check out my blog if you haven't. I found something that you guys might be interested in and it is explained in a post I made.)

A Different Infestation

Frantic banging on the door stirred Twilight from her book. With a groan she set down the novel and went to open it. She only touched the doorknob when the door burst open, hitting her in the face as a pink blur flew by, stopping in the middle of the room and jumping up and down in a panic.

"Twilight! I need your help!" Pinkie yelled, Twilight pealed the door from her face and rubbed her sore nose, groaning again.

"What is is this time, Pinkie?"

"I have crabs!" Pinkie yelled. Twilight stopped and stared in confusion.

"Crabs?" She said.

"Yeah, big nasty crabs! I need your help to get rid of them." Pinkie said. "They hurt so badly, Twilight. I've tried everything but they just won't go away!"

"Wait, Pinkie, how did you even GET crabs?"

"I was fooling around on the beach, but that's not important."

"Okay, Pinkie, I think a doctor would be more qualified to deal with this than me. Now maybe you should go so you can get this... issue.... taken care of."

"But Twilight-"

"No buts! A doctor is MUCH more able to deal with these kinds of things. There's no shame in it Pinkie, and it could have been something a lot worse."

"I guess you're right. Thanks anyway Twilight." Pinkie said, somewhat saddened. She turned and left the library, heading back down the street to Sugarcube Corner. When she got there, she opened the door and stepped inside, narrowly avoiding a blue crab that had skittered across the floor. She approached the counter, gently pushing aside a Bering Hermit that tried to get too close. She sighed and shrugged.

"Twilight said no, then?" Mr. Cake said, a crab latched firmly onto his tail.

"Yeah." Pinkie said, flicking a King Crab from her hair. "I don't know what we're going to do."

"I told you not to fool around at the beach. I did that once and ended up with barracuda."

Author's Note

See, the joke here is that Twilight thinks Pinkie has pubic lice, which is called "crabs" but really she's referring to crustaceans...

Yeah, not my best joke. Deal with it, my brain is fried and I haven't written in a while.

Dear Santa Hooves (Hearth's Warming Special)

A roaring fire warmed the room to a cozy temperature, and while a baby dragon snored peacefully near it, and a baby phoenix peacefully in it, Twilight sparkle sat on the sofa, blanket wrapped around her. She lifted her steaming cup of hot chocolate and took a sip, sighing happily as the liquid warmed her insides as much as the fire warmed her outside. Resting on the back of the sofa, her owl watched carefully as she put the cup down and picked up a quill and a piece of paper.

Dear Santa Hooves,

I hope this letter finds you well. I know that this time of the year is quite busy for you, and I know that you're preparing for your journey across the world, delivering gifts to all the good fillies and colts and fulfilling their dreams. The reason I am writing is to ask for something special from you. I know, a grown mare isn't who you normally read letters from this time of year, but just hear me out.

Remember last year, when you visited the castle and I was busy trying to do your job? Then we got in the sleigh and flew across the world, delivering gifts and spreading joy? Well, my request has to do with that. If you would find it in your heart, and if you have a spare moment, I would like to learn your ways. I would like to be taught your magic. Nothing in all my research comes even close to the feelings of pure joy that I experienced during that flight.

I apologize if this letter seems strange, it's just that I haven't been able to shake that feeling since our flight last year, and it has only gotten stronger now that the holiday season is upon us. I just want to know so badly.

Sincerely,

Princess Twilight Sparkle

Twilight folded up the letter, putting it in an envelope and sealing it with wax, and then looked it over.

No, he would never do such a thing. He granted the wishes of foals, not mares. And it was a ridiculous requests too. She sighed and picked up the envelope, tossing it in the fire. The paper burned and the smoke flew up the chimney. Twilight wiped a tear from her eye and wrapped the blanket tighter around her.

Suddenly, she heard a knock at the door. Twilight stood up and walked over to it, opening it slowly.

"Hello Twilight. May I come in?"

"Santa Hooves..." Twilight said, staring in disbelief at the reindeer on her doorstep. He held a slightly singed letter in his hoof, and a warm smile on his face.

"In the flesh. Now what was this I hear about wanting to learn some new magic?"

And, just like that, the joy Twilight thought she would never experience again came flooding back, like a filly on Hearth's warming day opening her gifts.

Author's Note

Happy Holidays everyone. Think of this as a direct sequel to last year's holiday special from IB1. I'll hopefully have a few other Christmas gifts for you all shortly, but for now just be happy that I updated at all.

Thanks a lot guys, and Happy Hearth's warming.
-Gallagsp the Christmas Corgi

Mercenary Ties

Twilight walked swiftly but calmly down the hallway from her royal chambers to one of her new castle's many meeting rooms. To either side of her marched two guards, armed with large spears and heavily armored in their brand new steel plate armor, one of Twilight's many investments as princess. Twilight approached the large wooden doors, stopping shortly before them before taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly to calm her nerves. She nodded and her guards opened the doors for her. She stepped inside gracefully, but with power and determination, as only a mare on a mission could accomplish. The other beings in the room all stood at her presence, and only sat with a wave of her hoof. She quickly sat down on her large thrown, before addressing the other occupants.

"Ladies and Gentlecolts, thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedules of raiding and pillaging to come speak to me. I understand you may be confused, as your simple barbaric minds usually are when your weapons are not stained with the blood of innocents, but rest assured I am not here to bring you to justice. That can wait. On the contrary, I have a proposition for you all."

"You dare mock my kind?!" One of the others yelled, a brave looking Griffin warrior covered in animal pelts and studded armor, "You dare call my tribe barbaric?"

"Ah, yes, Great Khan. What a pleasure for you to join us." Twilight addressed the Griffin. "Let's do some math, not you're strong suite but try to follow: In the last four months you have conquered over twelve-thousand square miles of land, destroyed or enslaved thousands of people, and done many other attrocities that quite honestly, I should have my guards kill you for right now. But I have a better idea."

"What do you propose?" Said a Unicorn with a braided mane and tail, her cloak concealing celestia knows what kind of dark magics.

"I Propose a truce." Twilight said, "Temporary, mind you, but I propose a truce to get something we all desire." She grinned. This was the moment. "You all have your reasons for not settling down, but probably your biggest reason is a single pony... Celestia."

The others showed expressions of shock, confusion, or curiosity as to where this was going.

"Here me out. I request a truce, Celestia may be powerful, but I know her weaknesses. I studied them for years as her student, and now it is time for the student to become the master. I request your assistance, great generals of the world, to bring down Prrincess Celestia..."

Author's Note

I AM BACK BABY! Did you guys miss me? I've missed me. And with season 5 coming soon I've decided to brush off the dust covering my brain's writing center. Sorry if these upcoming chapters are a little weird or not my normal style, I'm trying to get back into the swing of things.

Wisdom of the Ancients

"Incredible!" Twilight said, lifting her pith helmet to get a better view of the large tomb. She swung the torch side to side, trying to light up the room as much as she could. "This is amazing! Who knew that the ancient Eqquesta ponies could build such wonders?"

Daring Do, with a smug look on her face, carefully grabbed the torch from Twilight. "Careful, you can't be careless in ancient ruins. Isn't that right, Rainbow?"

Rainbow Dash limped into the room, one of her legs wrapped in bandages and a sling. "...Right." She groaned. "Not my fault that stupid statue had a rusty hoof."

Daring Do looked around the room, inspecting every nook and cranny for any traps. "All clear." She called out, moving to regroup with Twilight and Rainbow, who had begun exploring the room themselves.

"Hey, girls!" Twilight yelled from one wall. "Come look at this!" The pegasai quickly joined her, staring at a carving and strange runes on the wall. The carving depicting the world, sun, and moon. Overlooking them all was a large pony dressed in ancient robes.

"What's it say?" Daring Do asked, scrutinizing the ancient image.

"It says something about the creation of the universe, How some great being felt some great pressure deep in his core and released it to create the universe. It is said this so called 'Great Wind' Purged the heavens of all other celestial beings who fled to Tartarus to escape the holy scent and it's warmth set forth the creation of life."

"Wow, that's cool." Rainbow said "So basically there's like a god that blew on the universe to create everything?"

"Sounds like it. What's that about the holy scent though? That sounds awesome." Daring Do responded. Twilight said nothing. The others looked back to her to see her shaking with some unknown anger. Fury burned in her eyes. She threw down the book she had translated from and turned around, stomping back toward the entrance.

"Twilight? Are you ok?" The others asked.

"ITS A MOTHER BUCKING FART JOKE!" Twilight yelled, using her magic to bring down the heavy stone roof of the tomb.

Author's Note

I know I said I was back but then, ya know, I lost my internet for a while. So to make that up to you guys I'm releasing a couple chapters today for you to read. Thanks for your patients guys.

I luv ya mate, I luv ya to ya core! The lot of ya!

Impending Doom

"MOM!" Shining Armor called across the house, "Twilight took my ball again!"

Twilight Velvet sighed, rubbing her temples. It had been like this for weeks, Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle had been fighting, bickering, and picking on each other ever since Twilight had learned some basic magic. She flaunted it all over the house and it annoyed her brother, who was often the victim to these harmless pranks she dished out.

"TWILIGHT GIVE YOUR BROTHER BACK HIS HOOFBALL!" She belted out across the house.

"Not until he apologizes for spilling his juice on my Beginner's Magic book!"

"Make me!" The older brother replied. This was followed by a loud crash and the sound of glass breaking, then a few moments of silence.

Twilight Velvet figured the two were staring at the carnage they had caused, fearfully imagining the torturous punishment they would receive. What would it be this time? Sitting in the corner for hours? Being sent to their room without dinner? No, Twilight Velvet knew the best punishment for her children. She smiled devilishly and stood up, making sure her chair squeaked along the floor. She then stomped her way up the stairs to the children's shared bedroom before opening the door loudly.

She looked around the room but only saw the shattered remains of a lamp sitting in the middle of the floor. She smiled again, then, in the most stern and angry voice she could manage at the moment, she said those fateful words.

"Just wait until your father gets home."

Upon hearing these words, Twilight Sparkle and Shining Armor held onto each other even tighter from the safety of under Shining's bed. They were doomed and they knew it. It was only a matter of time.

Prisoner of Yarn

The sound of a metal door slamming awoke Twilight from her sleep. She experienced panic as she realized she was not in her bedroom, and even more panic as she realized she couldn't move her hooves at all. Magic proved useless as she soon learned, due to the magic-blocking ring on her horn. She looked around, recognizing the dungeon beneath Canterlot Palace. She used to play down here as a filly when she wasn't at school. It was empty most of the time.

Now, as Twilight looked around, she saw an entirely different story. The hallway was lined with guards dressed in their disgustingly ugly sweaters Their spears dangling with colorful yarn. The other cells were filled with ponies. Canterlot's survivors of the initial attack by that insane Father Knitting Needles and his insane cult of yarn worshiping cultists.

"Ah! If it isn't the star of the show, Princess Twilight Sparkle." A voice called out from the hallway. Twilight looked up and let out a low guttural growl when she saw who it was.

"Hello, Knitting Needles. It's been a while. Why is the maniacal cult leader visiting the dirty dungeons?"

"Of course, dear, to see you! You've been quite a pain in my side for he last few month, and the yarn is getting impatient." He gave her a small smile. "The yarn does not like to be kept waiting. You have meeting with The Yarn at three o'clock, but before that you need some... prep work. OH KNITTER!"

"Knitter?" Twilight questioned. Suddenly, heavy hoofsteps slowly made their way down the hallway. The ponies in the other cells began to shrink down and cower, visibly shaking in fear.

A giant pony, twice as tall as Knitting Needles, covered in a rainbow cloak and mask, grunted and stood over his shoulder.

"Knitter, thank you for joining us. Miss Sparkle here is finally ready to embrace the yarn, and she needs your help!" He smiled again. "Do take care of her though. The yarn wants her in one piece, that means be gentle... or as gentle as you can be." Two guards opened the cell door and grabbed Twilight. She fought and squirmed but it was of no use. She was passed off to Knitter, who slung her over his shoulder.

"Remember, Knitter!" Knitting Needles called out as Twilight was carried toward the torture chamber, "The yarn wants her in one piece."

Knitter smirked, but said nothing.

Author's Note

In which Twilight is captured and sent to be brainwashed to love thee yarn.

All hail the yarn!

The Throne

Jumping through the portal at the last second, Rainbow Dash felt power coursing through her veins and her mind was racing a million miles an hour. The swirling purple spiral of the portal gave way to a bright light before it dumped her onto the floor of her next destination.

she jumped up quickly and looked around, her lightning rifle ready to fire and her blood cannon on standby. She expected the room to be swarming with enemies, especially after her last round of fighting.

The room was quiet, taking her by surprise more than any bandit or big dog ever did. Even that guy with the jetpack in that frozen city full of robots wasn't this surprising. Sh looked down and saw the red carpet. Following the path with her eyes, she looked up and saw it.

"The throne..." She whispered. Her heart stopping for a moment before jumping into overdrive. "It really does exist!" Cautiously, but with excitement, she began to walk along the carpet. She kept her eyes on the throne.

It was big. Way bigger than she had imagined, with glowing glass tubes filled with radioactive waste. It let off a light humming sound as she got closer, and her giddiness started to get the best of her. She began walking faster, then she started trotting, and before long she was galloping full speed toward her dream. They said it was only a legend. They said anyone foolish enough to look for it would die a horrible, painful death in the wasteland.

They were wrong. As Rainbow Dash approached the bottom step to the throne, she felt that things were finally looking up for her after the apocalypse. Not even the damn Inter-Dimensional Police Department could stop her now!

Suddenly, the floor rumbled, and the sound of metal grinding on metal echoed through the air. The throne opened up, and from deep in its core a green light started to glow.

Rainbow gasped. She knew that green glow. Nuclear energy, and it as pointed right at her.

The next second was the most painful, and last, thing rainbow dash ever felt. the throne launched its deadly radiation beam straight into her body. She was vaporized in an instant.

YOU DID NOT REACH THE NUCLEAR THRONE

Author's Note

I got a new favorite game guys! Nuclear Throne is a blast. I've been playing it non-stop for 3 days now.

From the Darkness...

A light... finally, after so long! I can see the light!

This is the moment! After so long buried under a pile of ponies, THIS corgi isn't going down without a fight. No amount of ponies crushing me is going to stop me. I must tell these stories, and by God I'll tell them all! Whether it be the embarrassing ones or the sweet ones that make you go d'aaaw. The cliffhangers to the surprise endings, this Corgi still has stories to tell.

I push my way through the pile, pony after pony slides past me, why they all decided to pass out after tackling me is beyond me at the moment, but I don't care. I need to make sure my laptop is okay.

My head pops out from underneath some random pony, and I glance at my desk. My laptop is still sitting there in one piece, they didn't destroy it. I grin evily and pull the rest of my bodyweight out of the pile, tripping and rolling down it, faceplanting onto the carpet below. I growl at my bad luck, rubbing my nose and getting to my paws. I push the feeling past me and run to my computer, wrapping my arms around it and giving it a big hug. I sit down in the chair and crack my knuckles.

Time to get to work.

Author's Note

Yup, its time! This will be the only chapter of this that I actually insert myself into the story. I just did it as an introduction...

and yes, I have fully accepted my transformation into a Welsh Corgi. My therapist is helping me through the trauma.

Memories

The big white mare laughed at her younger sister’s antics.

“Get back here, you little cookie thief!”

The filly squealed and ran away as fast as her tiny, blue legs would carry her. Her tail whipping around her, she sprinted around a corner, nearly tipping over.

The grown-up chased her down the hallway, leaning into her turn to keep from making the mistake the filly nearly did. Cookie crumbs dotted the hallway and were crushed into the carpet as both mares laughed, one grinning as she glanced back to see the other smiling just as much, and a face set in determination. Clutched in the little one’s magic were three cookies, and one clutched in her mouth. She mumbled something through it, causing crumbs to fly everywhere.

However, a moment later, she crashed into an unfortunate noblestallion, because she was looking backwards. She landed on her back, a wing flying out by accident. The cookie was jammed into her throat by the force of the impact, but thankfully a fit of coughing dislodged it. The noble didn’t deign to look down, thinking it was just another bumbling peasant filly, which the queen and king allowed to play in the castle, for reasons he could hardly understand.

He was shown the error of his ways when the big mare pulled him back in her magic and flared her wings.

She spoke, her voice quiet, implying death if compliance was not given. “Apologize.”

He stammered out an apology to the little blue filly, who was looking at her sister in fear. As the nobleman cantered away, the big mare picked up the filly and hugged her.

“Are you OK?”

The filly nodded, and the mare picked up a cookie where it had fallen, forgotten, from the floor. She offered it to the filly, and, with a new smile, the filly took it and took a big bite out of it. She grinned, wiggled out of the big mare’s arms, and the game was back on. The big mare grinned again and chased the little blue filly once more

Eventually, the little one got stuck at a dead end, and she turned to face her sister with a pout. All but one of the cookies had been eaten in the course of the chase, and the crumbs were stuck between every hair on her chin. The big mare sat down before her and grinned triumphantly.

She said, quietly, after glancing around herself to ensure that none were nearby, “Can I have a piece?”

The little filly giggled and broke the remaining cookie in half, and together the sisters shared in the chocolate and baked deliciousness, leaning against each other. The bigger one’s mane fell down the filly’s shoulder, and the filly sighed contently. Life was perfect.

Author's Note

This Chapter was written entirely by NewkidOnTheBlock, I just published it here because he asked me to, plus I really liked this one.

Knowledge

Princess Twilight stood behind the podium, her crown replaced by a square hat and tassel. Behind her stood about three dozen unicorns anxiously waiting for the speech to be finished. They each held a scroll in their hooves, wrapped tight in ribbon and sealed shut with the crest of the school. They were dressed similarly to Twilight, but while her gown was blue garnished with gold around the seems, theirs were straight black, as were their hats. Twilight Smiled at them, then turned to the waiting crowd.

"Fillies and gentlecolts, we gather here tonight to honor these young adults, who, through trial and tribulation, have managed to climb to the top. We witness tonight as they claim their well-deserved place as Graduates of Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. As you know, not just anypony can earn such an honor. It takes years of hard work and dedication to succeed. These ponies before you are the best unicorns Equestria has to offer, and though their futures are unknown, they will no doubt be held in a place of honor among their peers and among those who look to them."

Twilight smiled again and then spoke into the microphone one last time.

"Fillies and Gentlecolts, I present to you, Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns Graduating class of 2014!" The crowd cheered as the graduates tossed their hats into the air. One young mare in particular looked especially happy. She had white fur and her mane was long, colored pink and purple.

Sweetie Belle cheered, tossing her hat as high as she could.

Author's Note

This chapter partially goes to my sister, who doesn't even know I write these things. She graduated from High School tonight and got a huge academic scholarship that I didn't care enough to work for.

Here's to you, sis! (Though you'll most likely never actually read this)

Gluttony (Sins Week)

Sugarcube corner was normally a friendly place in ponyville to get a sweet treat and meet with friends. Today, however, it was a place of dread and terror. Some pony was terrorizing the place, creating chaos in a regularly peaceful setting.

The pony ate everything in sight. All the cakes, all the pies, (the desserts, not the ponies, though I wouldn't put it past her.) all the cookies and cupcakes, everything went down the gullet of this beast. There was no end in sight.

A brief moment of relaxation went through the building as the beast stopped for a minute, only to release a large belch that rattled the building. A hearty laugh followed, then the sickening slurping as the beast continued to eat.

How could a beast like this swallow so much, ingest so much food and not grow in size? Was there a bottomless pit into the very depths of tartarus in its stomach? Perhaps it had a lighting-fast metabolism. All anypony knew was that it had showed up and started eating three days ago. It hadn't slept, it hadn't stopped for anything. It just ate.

Mr. Cake walked up to the beast. "Pinkie Pie, your break is over, you need to stop eating and get back to work."

"Sorry, Mr. Cake!" Pinkie replied, jumping up from the table and snatching one last cupcake with her unnaturally long tongue.

Author's Note

Here we go, the first "Specials Week" of Itty-Bitty 2!

What inspired this? Well I did something over the four horsemen, so I figure I'd continue the biblical number theme.

Also, I've been playing a ton of Binding of Isaac, so that also helped a bit. I'd like to write a crossover fic about it but I'm not sure if my plan would actually work out that well.

Greed (Sins Week)

Spike stepped off the train to the Crystal Empire excitedly. He giggled a bit as he made his way through the station, a high spring in his step. He got a few strange looks, but mostly everypony got out of his way as quickly as possible.

Why wouldn't they? He was a hero here. They better make way for the one who saved their necks a thousand times. Spike made his way toward the palace, intent on one thing and one thing only.

The citizens of the crystal empire watched as spike exited the train, then as he ran through the station he began to change. He grew taller and thinner, his flashed his forked tongue at anyone who dared look into his slit pupils. They watched as he continued to grow, soon he was leaving massive footprints in the streets.

Panic was everywhere. Ponies ran from the behemoth that was once spike as he roared and began to rip buildings off their foundations. He chomped on some of them and others he chucked like they were pebbles, the building landing far off into the distance.

Princess Cadance watched from the palace balcony as the monster ravaged the empire. She ducked as a junk of a building crashed into the palace walls above her she gulped as Spike turned and looked her in the eye, roaring again and rumbling the ground with his steps.

In a few strides he was towering over her. He leaned down until he was at eye level with her, then said only one audible sentance.

"Give me the gems."

A flash of light the side distracted them both, and Twilight sparkle stood shaking of the effects of the teleportation spell. She ran up to Cadance, fear in her eyes.

"Cadance, Spike went crazy with greed and boarded a train to come here. We have to do something to stop him before he destroys-" She stopped suddenly and looked up. "Oh, hi Spike. Heheh. Having fun ravaging the city?"

Spike faceclawed, letting out a low growl, before he turned back and started chewing on the palace.

Author's Note

And Sins Week is finished! I almost forgot to write this one. I had a pretty busy day, but I made a commitment and I wasn't going to keep you guys waiting!

Three Statues

Daring Do dragged the bound and helpless pony behind her as she went through the empty hallways of the ancient labyrinth. She was mad. The most angry she had ever been in her life, and the traitorous son of a goat she was dragging around was the cause of it. She stopped to catch her breath, letting go of the rope in her mouth and removing her pith helmet.

"See, if you hadn't tried to stab me in the face with a rabid wolverine I'd be in a much better mood, and you'd still be able to use your legs." She said, the bundled pony behind her groaned and rolled his eyes.

Daring grabbed the rope again and began to drag it. The two went around a corner before Daring Do stopped suddenly.

"What the heck is this?" She said, slowly walking up to a large wall with three doors. In front of each door was a statue of an armored pony. Daring took the gag off the other pony's mouth. "Alright, Einstein, what do you know about this?"

"I'm not telling you anything."

"Fine, then I'll figure it out myself and leave you here with the monsters. I'm sure you'd be a tasty meal for a giant spider or a few zombies."

"Alright! Fine!" He sighed. "Legend says that these statues guard the doors. To gain access you need to ask them each a question, one always tells the truth, one always lies."

"And the third one?"

"I think the pile of bodies answers that questions."

Daring Do rolled her eyes and walked up to the statues. She looked them over one by one. "Alright, here goes nothing." She cleared her throat and walked up to the first statue. "Hey, statue, which door is the correct door?"

The statue moved, looking at her and then pointing to the door behind the second statue. Daring do then went to the second statue. "Statue, which is the correct door?" The second statue looked to her and raised its arm to point, then thrust forward and stabbed her in the chest. Daring Do dropped to the ground, coughing up blood.

The bound pony she dragged through here laughed. "Oh, I forgot to tell you, the one that kills people also likes to blame the other statues!"

Author's Note

Totally not my joke. I got it from a comic strip I saw online. Also, violent chapter is violent.

Here's the source: http://xkcd.com/246/

An Assassin's Dilemma.

Octavia Philiharmonica. The name was increasingly becoming a household staple in Canterlot as more and more ponies caught on to her musical talents. Concerts became sold out when it was discovered she would be playing. She had all the money she could ask for and agents were practically knocking down her door to get her to sign on with them.

Of course, she had some help, though she didn't know who. A few years ago she was a starving musician fresh out of college, performing in bars and on the street for bits just to pay for her next meal. She would go home every night to her shoddy apartment and stare at the ever increasing pile of bills she couldn't afford to pay. Her entire livelihood was invested in her instrument, if anything happened to it she would most likely take her own life.

Then one day she received a letter in the mail, along with a sizable check made out to her. It described a company dedicated to assisting young talent in making it big, and all they had to do was a few "errands" for the company every now and then. It seemed sketchy at first, but Octavia soon gave in and made the call.

Now here she was, a few years later, on one of these "errands". She had gotten used to this line of work surprisingly quickly. Shutting the roof access door behind her, Octavia set down her briefcase and opened it up, quickly assembling the sniper rifle within. She approached the edge of the building looking toward her target's building. She re-read the note that she found on her coffee table this morning.

New Job
Chimney Sweep
5643 Colten Street
White Unicorn.

FAILURE WILL RESULT IN TERMINATION.

The note was vague, but she had gotten used to them, swiftly deciphering the message. She propped the weapon up on the low wall and looked through the scope, looking for her target.

"No." She said once she found it. "No way..." She moved away from the scope. She couldn't do it. The first job she had regrets taking since the very first one she ever had to do. The line on the note still burned in her mind though, failure will result in termination. She knew what that meant, and she didn't like it.

Vinyl Scratch sat at the desk across the street, talking to her agent. She was blissfully unaware of the moral conflict her best friend was having on a rooftop, with only a glass window separating her from a bullet.

Author's Note

While writing this, I got inspired to write a Hotline Miami fic, but I'm not quite sure how I could make that one work...

The Yarn's Revenge

Her horn glowed, lighting up the small room she was hiding in. Twilight lifted her notebook and pen, opening and turning the pages until she found a blank one. She swallowed hard and began to write.

Day 274,

I can't keep running like this, it's been too long. When will help arrive? Everyone I know is consumed with this idea that the yarn will bring them happiness and salvation. It just isn't true! Yes it is! NO IT ISN'T! It must be my isolation, slowly breaking down my sanity. I can hear voices now. They are the worst at night. They tell me the yarn is good, that I have to give up and go to it to find my purpose in life. I'm going to go to Canterlot in the morning, maybe the princesses can help me with this.

The next morning, Twilight approached the main gates to Canterlot. They were normally open, but for some reason the gates were solidly closed, Twilight detected magic keeping them shut. She called out to anyone on the other side, knowing very well she wouldn't be able to teleport inside.

An armored pony stuck his head over the wall and waved, then disappeared. Twilight frowned, thinking he had just ignored her, then the gate hummed to life, the iron bars sliding upward to open the way. Twilight called her thanks to the guard and stepped through the gate. It slammed shut behind her.

The town seemed abandoned, no pony was out on the streets, no lights or sounds came from the buildings, nothing. Twilight turned back to the gate, but the guard was nowhere to be seen. She swiftly ran through the streets and approached the castle, running up the steps to the landing, she burst through the large doors in to throne room.

"Princess! I finally made it! Something terrible is going on and I-" She was stopped suddenly by what she saw. Colorful strands of yarn adorned everything. The walls, the floor and ceiling, every piece of furniture was covered with yarn.

"No..." Twilight said, taking a step back. Her heart pounded in her chest, her pupils became tiny pinpricks in her eyes. She felt like crying, but no tears came. Princess Celestia sat on her throne, wearing her fuzzy sweater, with an unnatural grin on her face. Next to her stood Father Knitting Needles, the mad pony responsible for all of this.

"Hello, Twilight," Celestia said. "The yarn has been expecting you."

Author's Note

The yarn returns... All hail the yarn!

If you're clueless about what this is from, it's from the previous installment of Itty-bitty. I did a chapter about a cult worshiping yarn. It's a good read.

Robot Unicorn Vs. Equestria

Twilight and Rainbow Dash were the first two ponies on the scene. A large meteor crashed outside of town unexpectedly, Twilight detected large amounts of energy coming from it. Running up to the edge of the crater, the two were shocked to find it was not a rock from space, but rather a smooth metal pod. The pod opened and a strange creature stepped out.

It was tall, about as tall as Celestia, and was smooth and shiny It had four legs, two glowing red eyes, and a horn. Its rainbow mane was flowing in the breeze. It looked around, then in a metallic voice, spoke.

Scanning... Scanning...

Could not identify location.

Twilight was shocked. This thing was clearly supposed to be a pony, but it was also obviously a robot.

Biological life detected. Initiating Protocol BL-273.4

The robot looked to the other two, eyes focusing on them.

Identify yourself or be destroyed.

"I-I'm Twilight Sparkle, and this is Rainbow Dash..." Twilight said quickly.

Identify allegiance.

"Eh, what?"

Not a valid response. Please state team allegiance.

"Rainbow?" Twilight said, glancing to her side. Rainbow Dash was frozen in fear.

Team Rainbow Confirmed. Greetings, fellow ally.

"Well that's good, it won't kill us. So who are you why are you here?"

Identity: Robot Unicorn MkII, standard issue, default reactor powered by children's wishes. No upgrades authorized. Mission statement: Eliminate star beings, eliminate Team Inferno Operatives. Bring balance to universe. Locate Unicornium deposits.

"What's unicornium?" Twilight said, clearly confused.

Unicornium is a naturally occurring metal alloy found on 45 known planetary systems including Team Rainbow held systems of Sky World and Ice World, and Team Inferno held system of Lava World. Current Unicornuim refineries process the alloy into usable parts to build more robot unicorn units and upgrade existing models when authorized.

"Well, you won't find any of that here. Equestria doesn't-"

ALERT. TEAM INFERNO OPERATIVE DETECTED. INITIALIZING PROTOCOL TI-82. The robot unicorn spun around and sprung forward into some bushes, the sound of metal colliding with metal was heard, then a loud explosion, and a different robot unicorn head landed a few feet from Twilight and Rainbow.

Confirm. Team Inferno is here. Calling for reinforcements. Identifying planetary system as "Equestria"

"Twilight," Rainbow Dash said. "I don't like where this is going..."

"Me neither, Rainbow. Me neither."

Author's Note

Based on Robot Unicorn Attack 2 by Adult Swim Games. Read the story, play the game, be happy.

A Murder Most Foal

Police crowded the home, taping off the crime scene and securing evidence. They were looking for anything suspicious, anything out of the ordinary. The two biggest clues about the crime were the hidden wall safe being cracked wide open and the corpse of the home's former resident, now with a scorched hole in his chest.

It was strange though. This certainty wasn't a robbery gone bad... no signs of forced entry, no signs of a struggle... the painting covering the safe gently moved aside and leaned against the wall. It made no sense. It was almost like the victim knew the culprit. It must have been someone he trusted, someone he thought would never have hurt him.

Equally shocked were the home owner's family. The elderly grandmother sobbing uncontrollably while the youngest was taken outside to avoid scaring and scarring her. The stallion's sister, well known in her community and well respected, answered as many questions as she could. She claimed to have heard voices as the deceased talked with another pony whose voice she could not recognize. Then she heard a yell, and a loud boom, and ran downstairs, where her brother was found. She remembers seeing a small pony in a black cloak escaping into the night.

The murderer in question was still nearby, clutching the stolen jewelry in her still-shaking hoof. She calmed her breath and lowered her hood, exposing her horn, sore from the huge blast of magic.

Sweetie Belle swallowed hard, and unable to hold back any longer, she collapsed to the ground and began sobbing. She knew she could never go back.

Author's Note

So, season 5 begins. My opinion? Haven't seen the premier yet. I overslept and missed it. But I will watch it eventually!

The Binding of Spike

Spike opened his eyes, then closed them again. Once they had adjusted to the dark he opened them one last time, taking in his surroundings. He was in the basement, or so he thought he was, but didn't recognize it at all. The room he was in was square, with open doorways on two of the walls. His heart pounded in his chest as he remembered what had happened.

Twilight, his mentor, his guardian, had gone crazy. She claimed she heard Celestia's voice, demanding that Spike be sacrificed because he had been corrupted by chaos. He didn't understand it. Twilight had raised him since he hatched, she knew he wasn't evil, she knew that he didn't want to hurt ponies... right?

Spike knew he couldn't go back, Twilight would kill him. He didn't know what to do though. Then it hit him:

Fight back.

Swallowing hard, Spike stood up and looked around again. Hopefully, these doors would help him fight back and save himself. He chose the door on the right, stood up, and slowly started walking to it.

The closer he got to the door, the more his fear grew. He had this dark feeling deep inside, something that said the room past that door will not be empty, and as he was about to step through the doorway, a low but deep sounding moan of pain echoed.

Spike stopped, gasping. He looked back and forth between the door and the room he was just in. No way back, and no way to fight, he sighed, swallowed hard, and stepped through the door...

Author's Note

Been playing a lot of The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth lately. I absolutely love the game and can't wait for the Afterbirth DLC.

The Hunter

Cornered, with no means of escape, the changling paced frantically back and forth along the edge of the tower wall. Normally it would try to fly away, or at least fight back, but its pursuer had crippled its wing and horn, and it was a long way down to the ground below. The creature hissed and spat at the hunter, baring its fangs in an attempt to scare him off.

It failed, and as the hunter drew near the changling became more desperate, screeching an hissing, thrashing and snapping its jaws, but still that merciless predator drew near.

The Hunter was an earth pony. This is how he made his living. Ridding equestria of changlings that decided to try to hide out among ponies after the Invasion of Canterlot. He grinned and raised his crossbow for the final strike. The changling recognized the deadly weapon and bolted, dashing at him and knocking him over before retreating down the staircase.

"Damn it." The Hunter said to himself, quickly picking himself up and dusting off his cloak. He found his hat and placed it back atop his head. Instead of running down the stair after his prey, he walked calmly over to the wall and looked over it. Raising his crossbow over the edge, he aimed and waited.

The changling bolted out the front door of the tower. The Hunter Waited a few moments before firing his crossbow. The bolt flew through the air with a high pitched woosh, and after a few seconds it found its mark.

The changling never expected what hit it. With a shriek of pain as the bolt struck its back, It dropped to the ground and wimpered.

The hunter walked down the stairs and approached its target, drawing a large knife. He looked the changling in the eye and grinned again before bringing the blade down on its neck to finish it off.

_______________

A few hours later, the hunter stashed his equipment, wrapped in his cloak, in the hollow of a tree. He had gotten his payment and delivered the trophy to the princess. He took a large drink of water from the well near his home before he walked up to the front door and opened it.

"Hi Big Macintosh." Applejack said when she saw him. "How was the trip? Did you talk to the princess about those crop shipments?"

"Eeyup." Big Macintosh replied, holding out the big sack of bits.

Nevermind

"Nevermind" She said. "I guess you just didn't feel the same way..."

The words echoed through his head. Nevermind. How could this have happened? So much effort, so much work. Time and money wasted just to make it clear, and it flew right over his head. She had tried so hard to get him to open up, to admit the feelings he had been hiding so much for months.

It was her fault. She was just being a mare. She couldn't have just given him a clear signal? He was just one stallion, after all. He's not a mind reader.

Wait, maybe it was his fault. Looking back on it all, she HAD made it clear. The whole day had been planned out perfectly. The mood was just right, the timing of everything was perfect... it was all him. It normally was.

He got up from his bed, put on his jacket, and walked out into the cool autumn night.

______________________________

"Nevermind" She said. "I guess you just didn't feel the same way..."

The words echoed through her head. Nevermind. How could she be so stupid? Why would she say something like that? She pushed him too far. They were moving too fast. all in an attempt to get him to tell her things that he clearly didn't feel.

It was his fault though. He was just being a stallion. She had done nothing but treat him right, show him how she had felt for months. She was only one mare, after all. And she couldn't have been much clearer.

Well, maybe it was her fault. She shouldn't have forced him into anything. He didn't deserve that. He deserved the best mare he could find. Hee deserved better than she had been giving him. She didn't want to lose him though... it was all her. It normally was.

She got up from her bed, put on her scarf, and walked out into the cool autumn night.

______________________________

He walked down the street, his hooves making a soft clip-clop on the old cobblestone streets. Each lamp post illuminated a soft yellow circle of light on the sidewalk. He kept his eyes down, thinking hard.

She kept her eyes up as he galloped down the old cobblestone streets. This was no time to stop and think. She needed to act. The lamp posts whizzed by and she ran with all her might. She came to a corner and bolted around it.

She saw him first, he felt her first as she collided with him at top speed. With an "oof" both of them fell to the ground. They looked into each others eyes.

"I'm sorry, Cadence." Shining Armor said.

"I'm sorry Shining" Cadence said. Then they grabbed each other and held on for a long time. Two lovers in each other's hooves. Nothing else mattered to them.

Author's Note

Before editing this story had around 650 words. I really cut out a lot here so sorry if this story seems kinda... lacking?