War of the Frozen Fillies

by Harbinger Of Mist

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Luna, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Random, Princess Celestia, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 13259

Celestia battles her sister in the dead of winter for the fate of all Equestria.

A war has broken out between the royal sisters. Luna seeks autocracy over all the land with her newly established empire, and her sister is going to any means to prevent it from happening. More than one rift has formed: This split has caused their loyal subjects and even the Mane 6 to battle one another. None of the mayhem shall end until one side falls...

Cover art done by Sakura

Published 2014-07-09 09:00:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-06 17:44:01 UTC

Chapter 1: Just a normal winter's day...

It's a wonderful morning in Canterlot, or at least it's about to be. Celestia gazes in bliss at her sun as she rises it into a large clump of clouds, forming a beautiful orange light that gracefully engulfed the land. She peers down to look at all the thick snow that fell overnight. 'Tis the beginning of winter, and she was about to enjoy as much as she could of it.

Celestia returned to her bedroom and flung open her closet doors. Being a monarch of well over a thousand, she has collected many memorable pieces of cloth from throughout the eons to chose from. She stepped inside and strolled through the surprisingly open corridor of her closet with hundreds of things to wear on each side.

Celestia finally comes to near the back of the closet where all her winter apparel rested and waited to be chosen. She selected but a single scarf that immediately caught her eyes. A simple pattern of large purple, brown, and black squares to offset the bright colours of her natural coat. Nearly 600 years old, this humble roll of fabric, yet it still looked brand new. She wrapped it around her neck and felt that oh so cozy feeling; as if she was locked in a hug from her sister. Speaking of which, Celestia figured she would go outside and hopefully catch Luna before she started her morning walk around the castle garden. Celestia knew her sister always liked to stay outside for a moment or so to bask in the sunlight. Odd how the princess of the night enjoyed the sun's rays. Perhaps it was simple notion that she was bathing in the warmth of not the sun itself, but her sister.

Celestia makes her way out the rear doors of the castle and toward the garden. However, she is promptly met with a colossal white mass on the east side of the grounds. It looked similar to a castle, but was too crudely designed, and even had a flag flying in the breeze at the top that was foreign to her. Her walk would have to wait, as she decided to approach the enormous snow fort with a serious, yet noticeably amused look.

"Halt! Stop right there, trespasser scum!" One of Luna's guards flies down and lands neatly between Celestia and the entrance of the fort. "What business do you have treading on the soil of the Lunar Empire?!"

Celestia could hear the falter in the guard's voice as he apparently struggled to keep a straight face when he finished speaking. She knew right away that this was a game, and she decided to play along. With a stoic expression, she responded, "I am here for my sister. I suspect that she has something to do with this... eyesore." She specifically chose that last word and blurted her entire statement to get the immediate attention of her sister.

"Excuse me?!" Mission accomplished. Luna bears a kiddingly shocked look as she leans over the wall of one her fort's towers 100 feet above ground. She gasps at her sister's blasphemous words. "This 'eyesore' is the epicenter of my new empire! And I am NOT about to let it be stifled by the words of lowly commoners!" She extends and shakes her hoof in her sister's direction.

Celestia was quite excited by Luna's playfully posh attitude and was roaring with laughter inside her own head. She could tell she wanted to have some fun, but she figured it would be appropriate for her, the big sister, to be the party pooper and see how Luna responded. She sighs, "Luna... It was cute when you were little, but you're an adult; a figure of royalty, no less. Now please leave this fort behind, and how about you come along with me for a walk around garden?"

"Begone, wench! Unless thou wishes to bear witness to the phenomenal power and will of the Lunar Empire, you must make haste and turn back! Or suffer a force as cold as thy heart's!"

Why am I finding this so adorable? Celestia did her best to stay serious. She sighs, "oh Luna... There are so many other things you could be doing: royal duties, um... and other royal duties."

"To be trapped in a wormhole of endless boredom is precisely why this castle and empire was established. A place where rulers and subjects alike can relish in a sanctuary without fear or care of any responsibilities." Luna leans far over the balcony of the tower and sets her eyes dead on her sister's blank stare. "You could have immediately joined and left your frivolous title and deeds behind in favour of prosperity!" She proclaimed as she stood up straight and fans out her wings and front legs. She returns to the ledge, "but for your harsh words and crimes against the peace and sanctity of our empire, you are not welcome!" Several more of her guards form a barrier to block off the entrance to the fort. "You can fight and be taken prisoner, or surrender to become a slave!"

Okay, NOW it's starting to get ridiculous. Celestia rolls her eyes. "Okay, Luna. Go ahead and have your fun; I won't stop you. I'll leave." She turns and begins to walk away to another area of the garden where neither of them will disturb each other.

Luna hops down to a sloped roof just above the front entrance. "'Tis too late, sister!" She levitates a snowball and drops it into her hoof. "For I smiteth thee!" She winds her hoof back and aims.

It took only a split second for Celestia to register that remark, turn back to face Luna, and receive a face full of cushy ice. She just stands there motionless as the snow drips from her mug.

Luna breaks her character. "Oh my goodness! Tia, I'm so sorry! I was trying to hit your flank, but then you turned around and..." She cuts herself off at what she saw in front of her.

Most of the snowball slid off of Celestia's face to reveal a rather angry looking face. However, her angled and overly-pursed lips suggested something completely different. Celestia didn't speak, she only stared intently back at her slightly worried sister as she lifts herself off the ground. She continues to lock eyes and sustain her expression as she flies backward and disappears behind some hedges.

Luna was slightly confused, but then she instantly got an idea of what might be coming into her sister's fruition. She softly shouts to her guards, "barricade the front entrance!" and returns back inside her fort.

Author's Note

There once was a story...

Chapter 2: This is war

1 hour has passed, and Princess Luna is feeling slightly edgy. She is sitting in her icy throne room playing chess against herself while eating oatmeal. Down to her last spoon-fulls and halfway through her third game, her throne was starting to melt and refreeze her flank in place. The thought of her sister's foreboding expression sent a chill down her spine and sparked a particularly bad itch in the last place she wanted. Fidgeting wildly to pry herself off, Luna made a few faces that sent her guards into fits of giggles.

The two guards at the entrance of the room figured they'd better help out before they get punished for just standing there and enjoying her misery.

Too little, too late; Luna had ripped herself off to a slight sting and some more hilarious faces.

The guards collapse in laughter just meters away from her position. The momentum causes them to slide forward along the icy floor and hit their heads on the base of Luna's throne. They respond with groans.

Luna looks at them and sighs. "Slapstick... so uncivilized."

"Your highness!" Another one of Luna's thestral guards rears a corner into the throne room. The icy floor also made him skid across until Luna caught him in a magic field to halt him. He stands in attention and proclaims, "we have caught sight of something quite troubling, princess!"

She shoots her eyes open in attention. "How troubling?!"

"You may want to see for yourself."

Luna teleports to the watch tower and surveys the new "trouble" on the other side of the garden: Another snow castle. She instantly figured out what was happening. "Guards!" Luna commands, "keep all eyes focused on me until I return!" She flies off toward the imposing snow castle. As she came closer, its shape became more prevalent. She noticed that Celestia's fort was roughly the same size and had a similar crude structure. Celestia could have made it much more neat and extravagant, but probably just to satirize Luna, she put just as much effort into building the fort for stability rather than design; function over form after all.

Celestia was standing outside at the front gate, head angled upward toward her sister. She gazes at her with the same "stern" look.

"Sister!" Luna calls down. "I see you have crafted an... 'eyesore' of your own." She was starting to get nervous, as Celestia just stared back without any response or even moving.

Celestia's guards also stand in complete attention. All eyes focused on Luna.

Celestia had the same comically stern expression. After leaving her sister to blush from an awkward silence, she responds, "Luna! You do know that by striking me with such hostility, you have just declared war!" On cue, her guards all took snowballs in hoof and held them all aimed straight towards Luna. "Any last words before you become the centerpiece of Moscolt's Ice Hotel?"

Luna's eyes dart around in slight confusion. Soon, a light shone in her head. "'Twas but aaaa...n ultimatum, dear sister!" She smirks uncomfortably as she tries to squeeze her way out of an all-out battle. "Just because one little snowball was misfired, doesn't mean a war should be upon the horizon. Had that hit your precious posterior..." Celestia briefly angles her eyes back at her flank, changing to an embarrassed and dismissive expression. "...you simply would have had the option to leave us be!" Luna continued, "now that a simple accident has you up in arms, you decide to bear them? If you dare return with this," she gestures to all her sister's poised guards. "I will then have no choice..." She flies down to look Celestia up close and personal, then pokes her chest with her hoof. "...but to declare war on YOU."

Celestia was caught off-guard by her sister's shift to a seemingly fearless disposition. All anxious and desperate, then authoritative and threatening?

Luna stared Celestia in the eye with a smug look for a moment, then noticed a shadow forming over her head. She glances up-- *POOMF!* A pile of snow lands neatly and quickly all over Luna's face, causing her to lose her balance and trip forward and down onto the ground between her sister's legs.

This action caused Luna's guards back at her fort to collectively gasp and take battle-ready stances.

Celestia looks down at Luna with all but her mouth and horn being covered in snow. She gives a cheerfully sly grin.

"No magic." Luna mutters from beneath her trap.

"Agreed."

Luna shoots up into the air and retreats to her fort barking orders as she arrives back. "Erect forward walls! Secure choke-points! Keeps eyes in the sky! We are soon going to eclipse the sun with our frozen might!"

Author's Note

...told in the author's notes...

Chapter 3: All set for battle... almost

Both sides stay poised at frontal positions. Both princesses and all guards comedically leaning forward awaiting the commencing strike. Luna grinds her teeth and growls as she peers at her sister licking her lips.

The clouds move amongst the skies. They slowly shroud over the sun.

A sliver of the sun remained. 3... 2... 1... Sunlight ceased and snowballs barraged like mad in two directions.

Guards from both sides were either haphazardly tossing snowballs from behind cover or poking their heads out in hopes of not wasting their ammo. The numerous impacts of frozen terror sung the tune of bloody warfare.

Luna surveyed the carnage from her watch tower, safe from aerial assault thanks to valiant and willing meat-shields. She witnessed many of her soldiers land solid shots before being taken down themselves; their efforts weren't in vain. She starts to notice that several of Celestia's ground troops were advancing through no-mare's land as her own guards began receding. She takes her scarf and wraps it around her face to make a bandit-like mask; leaving only her eyes visible and still allowing for a decent field of view.

Luna leaps down from her perch and rushes toward Celestia's brigade head-on. Bobbing and weaving from incoming snowballs, she ducks far down to her side as she closes the distance. She uses her wing to scoop a generous amount of snow and toss it in a wide and level arc eliminate the six advancing troops. She had left herself wide open now. She immediately does the same with her other wing and fans the snow in the air to create a cloud of mist.

Celestia was about to toss a ball toward her sister until she rendered herself unseen. She tries to pinpoint where she was among the cloud, but all she could see was her confused guards being taken out one-by-one with precise throws. Blast that Luna! Always the hooves-on and athletic type. As the cloud began to disperse, Celestia caught glimpse of a final snowball being hurled toward her. She jerks her head to side just in time to avoid it. "...And too crafty for your own good." She added as she saw Luna retreat back to her fortress.

"I need more snow!" "East walls are falling!" "Medic!" and various other shouts were heard from Celestia's soldiers. They'd tried to set up forward walls closer to the enemy base but were hopelessly getting pinned down and left with no chances for a counter-attack.

Celestia ordered all of her guards to take shelter in the fort to recover and stay on the defense. Oddly enough, she could hear Luna doing the same for her guards. She soon could only see a dozen or so thestral guards taking stance on various areas of their fortress. She starts to worry as she heads down into her snowy throne room.

"Princess, we insist!" One of her captains exclaimed to her, "let us continue to stay on the outside! You know we're trained better than this! We shouldn't be hiding back in the castle just minutes after the battle had begun."

"I understand your concern, Captain Stalwart." Celestia mutters. "But I had not accounted for my sister to be such a direct threat. I knew she could take care of ordering her guards properly, but being able to go straight into the thick of battle like she did is something I could not hope to even match her in: I'm larger, slower, and less agile. If I had tried to do the same, I'd surely be pelted and buried in no time."

"It's true, Stalwart." Another captain, Lance, added. "Plus, those were MY men whom I ordered to advance. Had I known Luna was such an effective commando, I would've kept them back with the rest of us. And now thanks to me, they're all in the med-bay." He removes his helmet, holds it to his chest and turns around to face a wall; presumably in the direction of the med-bay. "I sure hope they are tough enough to be able to resume duty after such an onslaught with what little hot water bottles we have."

"I'm sure they will, Captain Lance." Celestia assures. "In a battle this dire, I'm sure they are willing to give their all despite any injuries they may sustain. Many of my guards from the past have done the same."

Stalwart adds, "Princess, let me be the first to say that I will bravely lay down my life to win this war if that is what it will take to do."

"As will I, Your Highness!" Another guard proclaims.

"And I!" says Lance.

"Aye aye!" The whole room was filled with salutes from all guards in the room.

Celestia smiled from being so humbled. "I know you will make me proud. Your bravery warms me so." She and her guards soon heard the yells of another guard from the corridor outside.

The solid ice doors to the throne room were bucked down by Luna as Celestia's guards took surrounding positions around the entrance.

Luna had enough time to scoop and toss a single ball toward her sister before she needed to expertly dodge a flurry of balls being flung at her direction. She gets struck once low on the hind leg and again in the dead center of her flank.

"Princess! We must leave now!" One of Luna's accompanying guards shouts. "We are ill-prepared as it is!"

Luna makes haste to escape in her "injured" state, but not before catching a faint glimpse that her snowball was apparently blocked by Captain Stalwart, whom was lying on the ground. "Then go on ahead!" She yells at her guard. "They're not going to follow us out!" She begins to fly through to the exit behind her soldiers while letting out a few groans. "...I can tell they're ill-prepared as well."

Captain Stalwart lays on the ground with residual snow melting on his chest. He groans as Celestia takes his hoof and turns him on his back.

"Stalwart!" Celestia shouts. "Please be okay! That was so brave of you to take a shot for me." She was starting to act melodramatic and cheesy.

Stalwart moans. "Oh... Celestia..."

"Yes?"

"I... I need... Bring me..."

Celestia was making very cartoonish sad faces and forcing herself to tear up. "What do you need?"

Stalwart raises his hoof straight up in the air toward Celestia's face. "Bring me... a bowl... of tomato soup." He then lets out one last grunt as he "passes out".

Celestia bows her head in honour of her courageous warrior and stands back up to command her other guards. "Well? You heard him. Get the man some soup!"

"This castle doesn't have a kitchen--"

Celestia cuts off the guard with low register voice and clenched teeth. "From the REAL castle." She jerks her head to the left to gesture. "As for the rest of you... Expand the fortress and leave few entrance points! I am going to conduct business of my own..."

Luna lays down on an ice couch covered in a blanket from the waist down, breathing heavily from fatigue and "pain".

"With all due respect, Your Highness." One of her captains quipped, "that was as brave as it was... stupid."

"You know what?" She sits up, scaring her guards into stepping back. "I won't argue against that. Though, it was exactly what I was hoping for." Her guards are all confused. "Celestia is a smart leader, whom has had to deal with other smart leaders. Therefore, one of the few things she doesn't expect is foolishness." She stands up. "I know it is risky. But when done correctly, we catch her off-guard and can gain the upper hoof." She swings her hoof and causes herself to bend over and moan. "Oh my... Please tell me: Does my flank look okay yet?" She wiggles it slightly and shows an uncouth smile on her face.

Some of her guards nod and grin in a manner most unprofessional. One of her nearby captains keeps his outward composure, yet lightly utters "I love my job".

Another captain gets them all back on track. "You look fine, Princess. Now what do you suggest is our next course of action?"

"I have a good feeling of what my sister is planning. And I know exactly how to counteract." Luna smirks deviously.

Author's Note

...that only progressed when...

Chapter 4: Recruiting Factions

Twilight was conducting private studies in her basement. She was trying to create a spell that could allow cold-blooded creatures, like Spike, to survive cold weather conditions just as well as warm-blooded ponies.

Spike stood in the center of the room, nervously awaiting a test-fire from Twilight. "Uhh... Are you sure it's ready to be tested on a live subject?"

"Not to worry, Spike." Twilight assured. "I made sure to read up on a quick disabling spell before all this. So even if my spell back-fires, I'll be able to neutralize it before it causes any harm."

"Well... Okay..." Spike closes his eyes and fears for his life, despite knowing better that his friend knew better.

"3... 2... 1--" Twilight was cut off by a message being materialized between them in Spike's flame. It had Celestia's seal on it. With the letter stealing all of Twilight's attention, Spike fell on his back and sighed heavily in relief.

"Well, I guess the experiment will have to wait. We're late for breakfast anyways. C'mon, Spike. Read the letter to me as I get something for us to eat." Twilight started her way upstairs with Spike following shortly behind her with the letter in his claws.

Spike read aloud, "Dear Twilight", he was confused by the short and formal greeting that Celestia normally does not use to address Twilight, whom also started wondering what warranted it. "Ahem," Spike continued, "It pains me to inform you that my sister and I have rekindled an old fire: She has gone mad with power and we are both feuding over complete control of all of Equestria."

Twilight gasped, "No! This can't be true!"

"...I wish it weren't true, but as the situation has grown dire..." Spike paused before continuing to what he could not believe what he was about to read, "*snicker snicker*" Spike was now flabbergasted, as was Twilight. "I strongly urge you and your friends come to Canterlot immediately... Tee-hee... so that we may work together to knock some sense into-- aha ha ha ha tee hee," Spike changed to a deadpanned expression, "I can't even let my writing keep its straight face."

Twilight struggled to contain her chuckles. "Did she seriously write that?" She thought.

Spike sighed, "Okay, nothing to worry about." He rolls up the message and tosses it aside.

"Now, hold on Spike!" Twilight rushed and grabbed the letter from off the floor. She was smiling like an excited schoolgirl. "Let's not be too hasty! After all, Celestia is the one who sent this! Any message from any princess is of high priority." She opens one of the cabinets and levitates out a box of cereal. "Here. There's little enough of this for you to finish off straight from the box. You're going to eat while we gather the others."

"Ok, fine." Spike uttered in defeat. "Let's go to war." He unenthusiastically grabs a claw-full of dry cereal and shovels it in his mouth.

One hour had passed, and Twilight had already gathered all five of her friends and were all on a train to Canterlot.

Rainbow Dash was getting antsy. "I still think I should fly on ahead. Even if I hit a storm along the way, I can make it there just fine and have enough energy to fight."

"Rainbow Dash, I don't doubt that if you were flying, you'd probably be there by now." Twilight explained, "But if you did, you'd likely be outmatched: All of Luna's guards are thestrals... that can fly. Remember? She has huge dominance in the skies and Celestia needs ALL of us there together if were are going to stand a chance."

Rainbow Dash sighed and laid down on her seat. "Fine."

Applejack turned to Twilight. "Now we cahn't be the ONLY ponies she's requesting assistance from, Am ah right?"

"Well..." Twilight answered, "I'd expect the Wonderbolts to be there as well. Seeing as how they do have royal ties."

"Ah yeah!" Rainbow Dash predictably cheered. "I can't wait to kick some flank along side my heroes!" She jumps up and hovers in the air to do some shadow-boxing and ball throwing.

"It's gonna be so AWESOME!!" Rainbow Dash and everyone else was perked up at the sound of a second voice joining in on her last word. She opened up one of the over-head compartments and saw a worried Scootaloo covering her mouth. And unsurprisingly, her two friends to her side, giving disapproving stares.

"Oops..." Scootaloo whispered.

Rarity got up from her seat to stare directly at the three and scold them. "Now what in the world do you think you three are doing?!"

Rainbow Dash immediately carried on for her, "yeah! You can't be sneaking onto trains and--" She was cut off by Sweetie Belle flashing three stamped youth-rate tickets. "Okay... What exactly are you doing on a train to Canterlot?"

Scootaloo was about to speak, but Pinkie bounced up to plead their case. "Isn't it obvious? They're going to help us in the battle!"

Twilight argued back. "But Pinkie! They're too young and fragile to be in such a conflict!"

Pinkie countered. "Nonsense, Twilight!" She reaches up and brings the CMC down to the floor with the rest of them. She looks intently into their eyes while still directing her speech at Twilight. "I can tell JUST by looking at them that they are cold, brutally-scarred warriors skilled in the art of frozen warfare who would be PERFECT to have at our side in battle!"

"Uhh yeah!" Applebloom agreed. "What she said!"

"Umm..." A timid voice started to speak up from behind Pinkie. "I'd prefer if we just called it a snowball figh--"

"Boulderdash!" Pinkie pounced Fluttershy. "How can you say something like that about something so serious?! Anything that involves the princesses is certainly no laughing matter! Do you see me laughing?!" She pokes Fluttershy in the chest.

"B-but it is--".

"No excuses!" She jumps back to the center of the train car and addresses everyone. "We need to be ready the moment we get off this train! Any wrong move could slow us down. And until then, I say we get ourselves prepared; create battle plans and warm up!" She finishes her speech by donning a drill sergeant's hat. "At ease!"

Twilight began talking back. "Pinkie. Don't you think I should be in charge since--"

"Don't be back-sassing me, private!" Pinkie rushes to Twilight up close. "You know I know more about this situation than you do! Do you want to be responsible when everypony in this room comes down with a bad case of the sniffles?! I didn't think so! Now WHO is the Alpha?!"

Twilight sighs, "you..."

"Speak up, scumbag!"

For the sake of ending her silly charade, Twilight played along. "Sir, you are the alpha, sir!"

Pinkie backs off. "As for the rest of you, practice your war faces and PT until we depart!" She marches to the back of the train car.

Everyone else decided to do push-ups and whatnot whilst stretching their facial muscles.

Later into the afternoon, Celestia has sent her guards back into the field, but ordered them not to make any attempts to advance. After Luna's kamikaze, Celestia needed to be set for anything else her sister may try. Blast that Luna! She's too crafty for her own good. She still had not gotten over her "near-death" experience.

One of her guards meets her back in the throne room. "Your highness! We have just caught glimpse of Twilight's train arriving at the station. They should be here within 15 minutes."

"Thank you."

"Have you heard back from your other drafts?"

"The Wonderbolts have replied back saying that they will be able to fight once they mobilize their other members from different regions of Equestria. They plan to swoop in all at once to bombard the opposition the moment they arrive."

"Do they know which side to attack, Princess?"

"Yes. Now I am not sure about the condition of all my other drafts, I have not heard back from them. Hopefully they will be here soon." Celestia rests back in her throne and continues drawing up battle plans as her guard exits the room.

Author's Note

...a new chapter was published...

Chapter 5: Arrival in Tartarsauce

Celestia stood cautiously out by the back of her castle. She advances the sun to its next scheduled position. "I dread nightfall. As if she weren't at enough of an advantage already..."

Meanwhile, the train was arriving at the station. As soon as the doors finished opening, Twilight and her friends immediately bolted toward Canterlot. The streets were quite barren; they barely passed any other ponies on their way to the castle.

"This is weird." Rainbow Dash said. "Aren't these streets usually packed?"

One of the few pedestrians they were approaching gave a blunt answer. "They're all at the castle playing in that stupid snowball fight."

Pinkie gasped. "Don't you get me started on you!" She marched furiously toward the pony.

Rainbow Dash swiftly snatched the hat off of Pinkie's head, cracked the brim in half over her knee, and tossed the flimsy piece to her side with a disapproving stare. Shattering glass could be heard as a stallion nearby shouted "my leg!"

Pinkie sighed, "okay..." Her friends all continued on their way to the castle with Pinkie close behind. "Still not making any promises though." She smiled and pranced along.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders were still at the station. "Ah'm confused." Applebloom spoke up. "Are we going to war or not? Ah know Pinkie wanted us, but none of them gave us the go-ahead."

"Then let's just go!" Sweetie Belle blurted out. "If they're not expecting us, then a plan I have in mind can come into fruition."

Scootaloo leaned away from her friend. "I don't like the sound of that..."

"Oh hush!" Sweetie rebutted. "Just grab your scooter from the luggage and let's go!"

Celestia was back in her throne room nervously carving battle plans into her ice desk. Her mane was messy, her eyes were bloodshot, and she had a small icicle sticking out of the corner of her mouth, heating up at the tip in a matter that caused the melted water to immediately evapourate.

One of her guards burst through the doors. "Your highnes--!" Celestia promptly spat out the icicle at such a velocity that it suddenly struck the guard on the bridge of his helmet just between his eyes and shattered. After shaking off the shock, the guard continued. "Princess Twilight and her friends have arrived!"

"Are they with you?"

"They will be shortly. I saw them at the outskirts of the garden just a moment ago."

Twilight and company stood outside the garden atop a hill, awestruck at the scope the battle has reached. Guards and Canterlot citizens alike were pitted against each other in ruthless warfare. The carnage was almost unbearable. "Wow..." said Twilight. "I didn't think it would be this bad."

"Oh my..." Fluttershy was getting increasingly nervous. "What are we supposed to do?"

"Yeah!" Rainbow Dash added, "how are we supposed to get through all this and get to the princess without getting spotted."

"Teleporting would be risky," Twilight explained. "A first flash would alert everyone, and I'm still not proficient enough with that spell to take more than one of us yet."

"Then we make a break for it!" Pinkie suggested, pointing straight at Celestia's fortress.

"Through the battlefield?!" Rarity asked in astonishment.

"It's the fastest way, Rarity!" Pinkie grabbed her by the shoulders. "Don't be afraid to get yourself dirty! Let the adrenaline give you that spark to keep you safe!"

"That sounds incredibly foolish... yet fun. Alright!" Rarity pushed Pinkie away. "I'm ready."

"S-so am I!" Fluttershy proclaimed, albeit timidly.

"Ah was born ready!" Applejack announced.

"Alright then, girls!" Twlight rallied her friends. "Let's go!"

Pinkie and Twilight ran side-by-side toward the fortress with Applejack pulling ahead. Twilight called back, "remember to stay low! And don't fall beh--AAH!" Her hind leg was grazed by a snowball. With it landing almost in front of her, Twilight had an idea of where it came from, but didn't want to believe it. She turned around and saw the other three staying behind, with Rainbow Dash ready to toss another shot. "What?! What are you guys doing?!"

"Sorry, darling!" Rarity called back as she materialized a letter with a dark border. "But Princess Luna had more to offer!" She and Rainbow Dash smiled deviously while Fluttershy played innocent.

Pinkie gasped in an obnoxiously over-the-top manner; her chest inflating to twice the size. "How DARE you three?! And YOU! Element of Loyalty!"

"I am loyal!" Rainbow Dash shouted back. "...To the winning team! C'mon! You know me by now!"

The three traitors bolted in the opposite direction with Rainbow Dash tossing her reserve snowball at the others.

Applejack jumps forward and slaps the ball out of the air close to Twilight's face as they witness their "friends" jump down a ledge. "Those three won't know what hit 'em..."

"Come on! We're still strong divided. I'm confident we can still help Celestia win this battle. We all have unique abilities that I'm sure even Luna wouldn't suspect." Twilight strayed her eyes to focus on Pinkie. "Now let's go! I see a quick detour to the side of the fortress."

"What makes you think they'll let us through such a heavily fortified area?" Applejack asked.

Twilight answered, "Celestia's guards all know I'm there to help. Once they see us, they'll cover us and let us through."

Pinkie wasted no time and zipped right away toward the supposed path, far ahead of Twilight and Applejack.

"Pinkie wait!" Twilight warned her. "Don't go so fast and without me! They'll think you're an enemy!" She and Applejack chase after her. "And that's not the path!"

Just behind them, the Crusaders arrive at the same spot the six initially paused at to see Twilight and AJ chase after Pinkie to their left, and the other three being granted access into Luna's fort off to their right.

Scootaloo hops off her scooter and removes her helmet, walking to the side of the edge towards where her idol flew off to. "Well, Sweetie Belle..." She looks back at the other two sitting in the attached wagon. "How are we supposed to help them now?"

Sweetie Belle is quick to respond in a mischievous tone. "Oh, we're only helping ourselves." She smirks and rubs her front hooves together. Applebloom tries to sneak out of the wagon but Sweetie turns her head. "Why are you guys so scared of me?"

Applebloom worriedly replied. "Uh well... Your ideas are not usually the best."

Sweetie sighs. "Oh don't worry! I promise this one will work."

Scootaloo puts her helmet back on and returns to her scooter. "Alright..." She still seemed uneasy. "So where are we going?"

"We're going to follow Twilight." Sweetie commands from behind as Scootaloo revs up. "...For now."

"Oh dear." Scootaloo spouted under her breath.

Twilight and her now two friends were hastily guided to Celestia's command office. They enter through the giant icy doors and stand in attention in front of her desk. "Princess Celestia! We came as fast as we could!"

"Thank you, Twilight." Celestia responded. She immediately noticed that her group was half the expected size. "Where are the others?"

Pinkie sneered and spoke in low and gravely voice. "Those dirty rats are tossing slush for the dark side!"

"What?!" Celestia was taken aback. "But how?"

Twilight explained. "From what I could gather, Luna must have sent her own letter to one of them and convinced the three to betray us. Your letter to me was just a summon request, while hers must have given that as well as a hefty offer."

Celestia growled and buried her forehead into her front hooves on her desk. "Blast that Luna!" She rears her head back... "She's too crafty for her own good!" ...and slams it into the front of her desk, causing it to crack slightly. "...ow."

Applejack inquires, "surely, we're not your only reinforcements."

Celestia rubbed her forehead and answered. "Yes. I am expecting the Wonderbolts to be here any moment now, which should make Rainbow Dash switch sides, and I already have with me--"

"YEAAAAHHH!!" A very stout and rugged pegasus shouted from behind them at the doorway. He snorted loudly.

Pinkie waltzed straight up to him and rekindled her sergeant demeanor since Rainbow dash wasn't around, despite the fact she didn't have her hat anymore. "What's your name, scumbag?!"

He played along. "Sir, Bulk Biceps, sir!"

"Bull-tail! From now on you're Private Snowflake! Do you like that name?!"

"Sir, yes, sir!"

"Well there's one thing you won't like, Private Snowflake: They don't serve raw eggs and carrots on a daily basis in my messhall!"

"Sir, yes, sir!"

Celestia was not amused with her display. "Pinkie! There is no messhall, and even if there was, it would be mine. Now stop harassing the soldier!"

Pinkie would not dare raise her voice to a princess, let alone one that was not pleased. She clenched her lips shut and scuttled back to Twilight.

"So what is the plan, Celestia?" Twilight asked.

"I have been revising strategies ever since I sent the letter to you. All I knew was that I needed your help--" For a split second she broke her composure and let out a stifled chuckle. She instantly continued in her authoritative tone, "...in this conflict. Perhaps you three could assist in this stage? I could certainly use three more heads in developing plans." She eyed Pinkie Pie carefully. She knew her wild and crazy antics would help in creating unorthodox attacks and ambushes to confuse Luna's forces.

"Of course, Celestia!" Twilight proclaimed. "We won't let you down." All three of them gave a salute.

"Uhh..." A familiar voice came from the doors beside Snowflake. "Am ah a little late?"

"Big Mac!" Applejack rejoiced and rushed to hug her big brother. "Were you on the same train?"

He smiled. "Eeyup. Just figured ah'd stop for bite to eat before coming over. A big guy like me can't battle on an empty stomach."

Applejack chuckled. "Well there you go, Princess." She turned back. "We have plenty of muscle at least." She gestured to Mac and Snowflake.

"YEAAAAHHHH!"

"That should help, actually." Celestia turned her attention back down to her etched desk. "Now gather 'round. We have some plans to compile."

Author's Note

...How does this story end?...

Chapter 6: A Mare, a Plan, a Canal, Paerama

The evening had officially started; in a few hours, the sun shall set. Celestia stood atop one of her towers and advised her trusted student, with Spike nearby. "I finally figured out what Luna's plan is..."

"What is it?" Twilight responded.

"All of her guards can fly, yet she hasn't been utilizing aerial tactics like I expected her to." Celestia looked toward her sun. "Her guards are resting. They're staying on the ground and on the defense; letting their comrades save their energy for an all-out assault. She and her forces are strongest at night; once the moon rises, we'll be utterly destroyed. They have stronger vision in the dark, and they can sweep through my guards whom have been fighting all day." She looks down solemnly at her guards fighting in the fields. "My soldiers are already starting to show fatigue. They'll have no chance once the night falls. That's why we must think of a fool-proof plan and execute it before our final hours are up."

"Helloooo!" They heard Pinkie call to them from the trapdoor leading downstairs. "Perfect timing! I just so happen to have a GREAT plan! Or rather... plan-S!" She unfurls a parchment with clearly divided sections, each displaying a different strategy.

"Pinkie... these look ridiculous!" Twilight stated.

"I agree," said Celestia. "They're perfect!"

"What?!"

"These may seem hard to follow and the product of a mad-mare..." Celestia gives a brief affirming look at Pinkie. "But Luna will never expect any of them! She'll think I would be too foolish to listen to Pinkie, and I know she knows she's here. I wasn't expecting Luna to charge my fortress and attack alone. So she would not expect any craziness right back! If we follow through with any of these plans, she won't know what to do!"

"Wrong!" Pinkie objected. The two Princesses turned to her attention in shock. "Isn't Luna a little too... crafty?"

"...For her own good." The sun goddess added.

"She may know how to think ahead... But she doesn't know how think like ME!" Pinkie proclaimed.

"But then, what about those new plans you made for us?" Twilight inquired.

"Oh. These aren't for us..." She turned and whistled. To which the CMC zipped in front to her attention. Pinkie hoofed over the parchment to the three. "Take these to Princess Luna, and don't get caught!"

The CMC saluted and ran back down the stairs.

"Pinkie! What are you doing?!" Twilight was unquestionably upset and confused. "Why would you think of such elaborate plans just to give them to the enemy?!"

Pinkie turned back to her friend with a flat face. "You still don't know how to think like me either, Twilight." She walks toward her and consoles. "Nothing to worry about. They're spies. Luna will think they're working for her and believe the plans are fake because they got past me so easily, but then go back to thinking they're real because she knows that's what I would want to happen."

"Isn't that a bad thing?!" Twilight growled.

"Hold on, Twilight. I understand now." Celestia concurred.

"But Princ--" Twilight was cut off by Pinkie.

"Sh-sh-sh! She's about to be brilliant!"

"You see..." Celestia explained. "They are spies but they actually ARE working for Luna. So the fillies' naivete would lead them to believe that Pinkie's plans are a decoy, then consider how Pinkie thinks and think the plans are real. So when they relay that info to Luna, She'll think it's fake at first, then believe the Crusaders fed her false information because of their innocence. Then consider Pinkie and think the plans are fake again. But knowing my sister and how she's been throughout this war. She will think--"

"--These plans are a sham!" Luna tossed the parchment with the stolen plans aside back in her throne room.

"What?!" Sweetie Belle shrieked.

Scootaloo added, "How can they possibly be fake?!"

"Yeah!" Rainbow Dash retrieved the plans and reopened them. "These plans have Pinkie Pie written all over them! What other battle plans for a snow-war could possibly include a sombrero and a dozen pizza boxes?"

Luna snatched the parchment and argued back. "Celestia wants us to think they're fake. But since she has Pinkie as an advisor, she would have drawn up real plans at first and simply fork them over to those three," she gestured to the Crusaders, "thinking being foolish is smart. But I know how Celestia would think with the pink one's assistance. I may be delving too deep into this, thinking 8 steps too far ahead, but I know for a fact that these plans are fake!" She slams the parchment on the ground. "You three are dismissed!" She commanded to the CMC, to which they departed.

Rarity picks the plans back up. "Your highness, with all due respect, these still could be valuable. What if they DO turn out to be real?"

"Of course they're real!" Luna rebutted to everypony's surprise. "I didn't want those fillies to think that I thought that these were real. They're working for my sister!" She explained her plan. "Now that they think that I think they're fake, they'll relay that information to my sister, whom will in turn think that I thought the plans were real, then Pinkie will step in and say that I think they're fake. But she doesn't know that I know that she'll think that I think the plans are real! So if we prepare for any of these plans coming into fruition, they'll be confused and caught off-guard!"

Everyone in the room seemed to have had their brains short-circuited.

Rainbow Dash shook herself back to reality. "So wait... Who's on first?"

Sweetie Belle was giggling maniacally, yet softly just around the corner outside the entrance to Luna's throne room. She quickly scuttled back to meet her friends outside and high-tailed out of the combat zone toward the outer edge of the garden. They all take a rest when they felt they were safe. "Yes!" Sweetie Belle cheered. "My plan is working!"

"Whaddaya mean?" asked Applebloom.

"Celestia and Luna both think the plans are real! And neither of them think we'll be coming back!" Sweetie explains. "Celestia thinks we might come back to carry out one of those plans, and Luna thinks we're going to feed 'not-so-false' information to Celestia!" She could barely contain her laughter. "But now! They're both hopelessly confused!"

Scootaloo scratched her head. "So wait... Who did we just give an advantage to?"

Sweetie Belle was chuckling and snorting. She struggled to give an answer. "I don't know!... And I don't care!" She dove her head into the snow and let out all her pent up laughter. After a few moments she came back up and calmly yet breathlessly resumed. "All we do now is sit back and admire our hard work." She set her front legs up on her friends' shoulders and sighed in satisfaction.

Sweetie Belle was unaware that Luna knew she was listening in on them before she ran off. Luna took the parchment with the plans and incinerated it in her dark blue aura. Everyone was in shock. "Now that that troublesome filly is gone, we can implement our real plan."

One of her captains spoke up. "But your highness! Didn't you say those plans were important?!"

"Only to throw off our little spies. Whether they go back to Celestia or not, those plans are irrelevant. If they do use them, I can easily take care of them myself. Pinkie may have made creative plans, but they still had more holes in them than cheese. Pinkie thinks I can't think like her, but a thousand years on the moon leaves you with plenty of time to think; plenty of time to become crafty..." She closed her eyes and snickered evilly, "too much for your own good."

Fluttershy stepped up and timidly asked, "So um... What is the REAL REAL plan?"

"'Tis already underway. Celestia knows this, and I know she knows it." Everyone in the room promptly covered their ears. A moment later they figured out she wasn't about to start up again. "I also know that she knows there is nothing she can do. Once I raise the moon..." She smiled deviously and softly rubbed her hooves together. "I shall also raise Tartarus."

Author's Note

...To tell you the truth...

Chapter 7: Stalemate

Celestia sat at her throne; her guards and prized student watched with exceptional concern. She had multiple smoking ice shards protruding from her mouth, her eyes were on the verge of popping a vessel, her mane completely ruined, and nervously vibrating enough to create an earthquake in the room that Pinkie could actually feel. She lifts a mug of hot cocoa, spilling drops all over her 53rd draft of a last-ditch effort, melting key areas. She shouts out, "PESTILENCE WAR AND FAMINE!" and slams down her mug in frustration. Everypony else in the room hops back in shock and skips a heartbeat. The mug breaks and splashes the rest of her drink all over her desk.

Twilight steps toward her. "Um... Princess? Are you feeling alright? I really hate to see you like this."

Celestia rears back her head and draws in a large breath. She exhales so forcefully that she creates breeze. That action inexplicably groomed herself of the unsightly features and returned her to her usual luster. She responds to her student, "I am sorry. Forgive me, everypony. 'Tis not a time to be overworked to frustration. It will only cloud my judgement further. But... Sweet sister of mine!" She bangs on the melted center of her desk with her front hoof, cracking it in two and collapsing in front of her. After a brief stare, she continued, "...she has been getting to me all afternoon! We have less than an hour to defeat her, I don't have all five of Twilight's friends at my side, and the Wonderbolts STILL haven't arrived!" She took another deep breath. "Further apologies."

Captain Lance stepped forward. "Your highness. With all due respect, 'go-for-broke' plans are not all that strategic and cunning. Instead of pulling your hair out over reinforcing every step, you should just make it a single step in which we take the brunt of the returning assault while protecting an elite few in the back. Need I remind you that every guard in this room agreed to lay down their lives for the sake of your safety and victory?"

The guards immediately chanted "AYE!" in unison with a voice in the back adding "...only said that to keep my job!"

Celestia was humbled, yet shocked. "You... want me to treat you as expendable?!"

The room was filled with another "AYE!" and the same voice pleading "...want to go back to the real castle!

Celestia decided to take that chance. "Very well. Let's start formulating something stupid..."

"May I return outside, Celestia?" Twilight spoke up. "I want to survey the outside and make sure a counter-strike doesn't get too close."

"Granted." Celestia nodded. To which her protégé rushed out of the room.

Meanwhile, outside on different parts of the battlefield, guards and citizens alike were locked in combat. Ducking behind one barricade was a well-groomed and dressed stallion with a monocle. "I must say, my dear. It is nice to get away from it all and simply let loose. I'm sure you enjoy harkening back to fillyhood as much as I do." Fancypants remarked to his lovely mare, Fleur de Lis. He sprang up from behind cover and yelled out, "EAT THIS, YOU NAKED CRETANS!" tossing a couple of snowballs at some undisclosed targets. He ducks back down. "Oh, not you, darling." Fleur just continued her usual smile.

Near the outer edge of the garden, a small thin fort was established and in the path of a vital flanking route. Sapphire Shores shouted up toward the top of the tower from the safety of a bunker her assistants quickly packed together. "You cannot hide in there forever! Abandon your preposterous pyre and fight me like a mare!"

A head pops out from the top clad in opaque glasses and a thick accent and calls back, "Phah! I spit at your threat!" Photo Finish was soon joined by assistants of her own, armed with snowballs held in make-up applicators which made them almost completely pink. "Vhat threat is some derty fashionista to da magics?! Your mother vas a gerbal, und your father reeked of schnazburries!"

Sapphire gasped. "I'll have you know that my father has always groomed himself to a fresh lemon scent! You will pay for your foul words!"

40 minutes remained...

Twilight dove and rolled to avoid being caught in the crossfire, and to a greater extent, direct fire. Being a princess, she was a high priority target. She had to get a good vantage point, or possibly a way into Luna's fortress to pinpoint a weak spot. Then she found a perfect place to avoid most of the action while getting where she needed to go: a tunnel! "I don't know who dug this out, but I'm sure I can get the jump on somepony."

Twilight crawled her way through the labyrinth of roomy corridors, staying low to the ground to reduce sound and make for a harder target should she get spotted. Up ahead at a fork, she could see one of Luna's guards down the left path with his head turned. She took this opportunity to take him out. Scoop, pack, toss... head-shot. Her victim held his hoof up to the point of impact as he fell onto his side incapacitated.

Twilight heard a familiar voice from around the corner the thestral was standing. "What was that?!"

She called back softly, "Shining?!"

"Twily!" Shining Armour came from around the corner and hopped over the downed guard to rush to his sister. "I'm so glad you're okay!"

"I'm glad to see you too."

"Listen, Twily. I know how we can get into Luna's castle undetected."

"Really?"

"I just finished a tunnel that leads to an unguarded area of one of the side walls. I would've been toast if you hadn't taken out that guard." Shining rubs his sister's mane into an unkempt mess.

"Alright, alright." Twilight magically repairs her mane and is quick to continue down the left tunnel.

"Wait!" Shining warned her as he ran up beside her. "Let me be out front!"

The tunnel had Twilight confused. Noting the turns it took, it couldn't possibly be leading to one of the side walls. They reach the end of the tunnel. Light breaking through a thin layer of snow marked the exit. Being cautious of her assumption she ignored her brother and jumped out through the barrier and was immediately in the view of two lunar guards behind a wall. Before they could react, Twilight scooped snow into her wing and flung it in a wave pattern to catch both of them dead-on. Covered in snow, the guards fall to the ground in defeat, barely moving.

"Nice job, Twily." Shining caught up with her. "I guess you don't need me to be a shield." He jabbed his front knee into his sister's side, hoping that she would see what he did there.

"I thought you said this led to an unguarded side wall!" She responds.

"Well, it's unguarded now."

"And this doesn't even look like the side of the castle! It's the--gah!" She was taken by surprise when her brother promptly locked his front legs around her. His superior physical strength kept her bound by his "bear-hug".

Shining takes her captive sister out to the other side of the wall in front of all the action. He shouts out to everyone on the battlefield, but more specifically, Celestia's forces, "EVERYONE BACK UP!" Nearby solar guards and citizens held their fire. "I have a princess in my grasp! Don't you dare try to take a shot!" All the soldiers in view ceased as they could only watch Shining slowly back up toward the castle with Twilight as his hostage. None of them were at a good angle.

Suddenly, Twilight heard a familiar sound of a small motor...

Scootaloo swerved up to the side on her scooter with Pinkie in tow on a sled attached with rope. Shining, while trying to keep his sister tight in his clutch, could not turn fast enough to protect his rear side. Both Scootaloo and Pinkie carefully avoided enemy fire as the latter through three balls in rapid succession. The first hitting Shining in the shoulder, which caused Twilight to fall out of his grip. The next shot him in his flank, making him turn to face the third shot, which hit him square in the chest. Shining jumped back from the impact and landed on his back in a dramatic position.

Scootaloo turned back as the celestial grunts continued their assault, carefully aiming away from princess Twilight and her saviours.

Pinkie picked her up and set her behind her on the sled. "That was close, Twilight!" said Pinkie. "Princess Celestia had a feeling you'd get yourself into trouble."

"Thanks, Pinkie." Twilight replied in relief. "If Shining is working for Luna, that must mean Cadence is as well! Both sides have two alicorns, and they still have the advantage."

"I wouldn't think so!" Scootaloo called back as she made her way back the Celestia's fortress. She pointed to the sky, and the two in the back took notice of the Wonderbolts making their overdue attack.

Up in the air, a group of six, led by Spitfire, were all carrying extra large snowballs in their front legs. They tossed them down toward the ground in regular intervals. Each shot hitting the targets with such force, that the Lunar guards too close to the site of impact were blown back and taken out by the blast.

Rainbow Dash bravely intervened by carrying a bag of snowballs of her own. She threw her first shot, taking out Soarin and causing him to spiral down the ground. The rest of them broke formation and scattered off to evade Rainbow's attacks. They could not fight back without returning to the surface for more ammunition. "It pains me to do this! But for the good of Luna's empire, I will take you coward Blunderbolts out!"

Back on the ground, Scootaloo, Pinkie and Twilight have arrived safely back at the solar fortress. Pinkie informed Twilight as they rushed back inside. "We've finished up a plan, Twilight!"

"Oh, good!" She responded. "How long will it take to prepare?"

"A little too long for comfort." Pinkie answered hesitantly.

Twilight ran on ahead to meet back up with Celestia while Pinkie stayed back to thank Scootaloo. "Good work, soldier! You did well."

"Thanks, sergeant Pinkie." She saluted and turned back on her scooter to get back on her friends.

"See you on the other side... Judas." Pinkie's ominous tone made Scootaloo slowly turn back to face her only to be launched off her scooter by a hard toss. She landed on her back with her entire torso covered in slush.

Scootaloo's friends were watching from afar. "That fool!" Sweetie Belle squeaked. "I told her just to watch the battle unfold! It's too risky to stay in the fray!"

"Shouldn't we go get her?" Applebloom asked with great worry.

"I wouldn't be concerned about that..." They heard a deep, gruff voice from behind them and a shadow loomed over their cover. Before they could finish turning their heads, they were picked up by the scruffs of their necks by a lunar guard. He said, "Princess Luna doesn't take kindly to rogue soldiers..." and flew them back to her castle.

Everyone was locked in fierce combat. It was only a matter of time before it all came to its very near, inevitable end...

Author's Note

...this story does not end...

Chapter 8: Nothing left to lose

Celestia positions the sun at its lowest; dusk has sprung, and the night shall soon follow. She has mere moments to unleash her plan. "I hope everyone is ready." She whispers to herself as she turns and retreats to her throne.

Celestia was quickly trotting down the icy hall when Applejack ran up to her side. "Your highness!" She reported, "Rainbow Dash has disposed of the Wonderbolts!"

"What?! How?" She growled softly. "There goes our aerial coverage. The plan doesn't change. We're executing it NOW! We have no more time to brainstorm, or even breathe!" She commanded to her orange soldier, "Get your brother and Snowfl-- Bulk! I'll get all my guards ready at the front."

"At once, princess!"

"Ahh!" Sweetie Belle and Applebloom were tossed into a solid dungeon carved out of ice; a measly half-inch of snow beneath them.

"You rapscallions better enjoy your stay." Their forceful chauffeur boomed at them.

Princess Luna entered their view from the other side of the bars with Rarity at her side. "This battle is complicated enough with the pink one on the wrong side; but you were on neither." She leaned forward and stared the fillies down. "I could tell from the look in your eyes that you were going to be nothing but trouble. I couldn't risk you helping my sister, and so here you are." She turned to Rarity and ordered her to keep watch.

Rarity saluted and faced the captive two once Luna vacated the area. "Well, Sweetie Belle... Have we any regrets?"

"Oh come on, Rarity!" Sweetie toned down her voice before continuing. "She's gone now! You can let us out and we can go home!"

"As ordered, I cannot let you two leave my sight."

"What?! We're sisters! We stick together!"

"Then explain why the three of you decided to form your own faction and play the would-be saboteurs."

"Hey!" Applebloom snapped back. "This was all her! Ah wanted to go with MAH sister!"

"What are you doing blaming me?!" Sweetie Belle cried.

"Aw, quit it!" Applebloom spat back. "Y'all always have to come up with some crazy plan! And what do we do? We follow it! And do ya know what happens? We get ahrselves in deep trouble!"

"I'm just trying to make sure we have fun! AND get ourselves as many chances as possible to get our cutie marks!" Sweetie yelled back. "So we're not spies, fine, we'll cross that off the list. But did you really want to go through this battle the boring way? I was only trying to-- Ah!" She shrieked and jumped back as she was cut off by a face full of snow. Applebloom had loosely scooped up a hoof-full and splashed it in her face. Sweetie wiped her eyes clear and berated her friend. "What did you do that for?!"

"We're not takin' any sahdes, ain't we?" Applebloom retorted. "Besahdes, all's fair in love 'n' war." She clenched her front legs around her torso, shook side to side and made a puppy-face. "...And Ah care for y'all lahke family."

Sweetie Belle stands her ground and replies rather snobbishly, "HMPF! Well! I love you too!" then pounces at her for a 'hug'. They both wrestle and roll around on their cell floor, shouting and growling like angry kittens as they splash snow into each others' faces.

The guard whom had delivered them down here was still present, as well as confused by the smile on Rarity's face. "Are you going to break this up or anything?"

"Mm-mm," she replied. "No magic, remember?" She taps the tip of her horn.

Just then, another voice could be heard groaning off to their side. It sounded all weak and raspy. It was coming from Scootaloo, all injured and scorned from her mission. She was being held in the front legs of Princess Cadence, whom carried her down the stairs. "Looky who I found crawling up to our gates asking for help."

"Please... help." Scootaloo forced out. Her friends stopped their squabble and ran up to the bars. "My chest... is all wet... and cold." She coughed.

Cadence ordered the guard to reopen the cell. He did so for just a split second; enough to toss the wounded Scootaloo in, but not enough to give the other two a chance to escape. "Sorry, little one. Tough luck." Cadence quipped. "I'm well aware of what you and your gang have been up to. What's to say you won't go commando on us?"

"Your highness..." Scootaloo strained. "Take... pity... on a... child." She reached out with her hoof only to suddenly stiffen up while making a "Gkk" sound, then going completely limp. She had perished, complete with her tongue hanging out the side of her mouth.

Sweetie Belle takes her friend's hoof with Applebloom coming up to her side. She blames herself for the tragedy of her friend falling in such a brutal manner. "No..." She whimpered. "What have I done?... Why... didn't... we stay HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME!" Her shout echoed throughout the halls of Luna's stronghold.

Cadence leaned over to Rarity. "Well. I didn't think your sister had it in her."

"She once told me she wanted to be an actress." Rarity replied. "Back before their crusading business, of course."

Celestia was back in her throne rallying her troops and taking check of all preparations. "All guards in position?!"

"Aye!" The ponies present in throne room responded.

"Bulk, Mac and Jack ready to rush?!"

"Aye!"

"Hallways and forward bases cleared?!"

"Aye!"

"...and Little Cookie?"

"Loaded!" Applejack answered with gusto and a salute.

"Alright! Twilight..." Her student locks eyes. "Be ready to give the command... It's time for me to set the sun..."

Luna and Fluttershy were atop a watch tower surveying the battlefield. They both took note of the odd silence from both ends. "Um..." Fluttershy tried to speak up. "Might have they retreated? Th-they haven't fought back for ten minutes now." She was timid at the assumption that something akin to an explosion could catch her off-guard.

"No." Luna deadpanned. "They're planning something..." As her troops backed up toward the fort out of instinct, she noticed Twilight stand up on Celestia's front tower. Luna ordered her soldiers to get back to their side of the field as the sun began to set completely.

Twilight met no opposition as she dove from the tower, grabbed onto the corner of one of the walls, and seemed to... peel it away.

"A tarp?!" Luna gasped. The "Pink one" was able to disguise the front of Celestia's castle with a blanket of some sorts that camouflaged flawlessly with the rest of the castle. A large corridor was revealed as the sun's light completely dissipated.

With the night finally upon them, Twilight gave the command. "CHAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGE!!!!"

All of Celestia's ground troops flooded out of the opening and shouted a war-cry in unison. They assaulted with an unending barrage of suppressing fire to stifle the lunar forces as they charged forward like a freight train. Few were lost from a returning effort.

Luna looked down to Fluttershy ordering her to alert Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and the rest of her guards to return to the field to defend.

Not ten seconds after the attack was initiated, Twilight shouted, "GO LITTLE COOKIE!!"

A fleet of pegasus guards flew out in a collective formation, creating a shield to protect the true fruits of their labour: A colossal ball of snow bigger than the princesses themselves was being carried in a haste by Bulk Biceps and Big Mac at the sides, Applejack in the back, and Pinkie hunched over in the front for stability. They had the "bomb" cradled in their front legs as they trotted forward in a manner foreign to them, making it somewhat difficult to carry.

Several pegasus guards were receiving direct fire for the sake of defending the muscle.

Luna could tell that it was not going to slow down. She had mere moments to retreat to her throne; she didn't want to risk having the tower she's standing on crumble beneath her when it hits.

When they arrived at the front gates, Pinkie dove forward while yelling "Heave!" to signal the toss. The three behind her used the momentum from their charge and raw upper-body strength to launch the bomb into the air. Pinkie quickly got back onto her hooves and gathered up smaller balls.

The bomb was meters away when Rainbow Dash had the ~~stupidity~~ nobility to fly right into its path. She didn't slow it down in the least, as it hit her like a ton of bricks and sandwiched her between it and the target wall before reducing it to rubble. She could feel the immense pressure being exerted onto her; all this snow engulfing and compressing her convinced her she wouldn't make it out alive. Fortunately, or possibly not, having been a pegasus whom has endured many a crash, her skeleton could amazingly withstand the unstoppable force. She wish it had taken her out with the wall, and yet, as she felt herself slide along the ground, trapped under Little Cookie, she felt a strange urge to dig herself out and breathe air once more.

The bomb travelled with enough force to break over into the doors that led into Luna's throne room. They toppled over as the bomb came to a halt.

As a critically injured Rainbow Dash dug out and crawled from the pile, all Luna could think when she was met with the exposed sky was oops... forgot to raise the moon.

"Haha!!" Pinkie proclaimed victoriously as she stood atop the destroyed wall. The lunar guards too feared for their own lives to offer resistance from her rear. "Your reign has come to a permanent end, your lowness!!" As Luna twisted to hide behind her throne, Pinkie looked down to see Rainbow Dash looking back up to her in despair. "Oh?! What is THIS?! Poor little element of loyalty got her wings clipped?!" She reared back and cackled maniacally in victory on her hind legs.

Rainbow Dash turned her head and laid it down to await the killing shot.

Pinkie's laughter was interrupted by a sudden super-fast snowball hitting her square in the back of her throat, and then another, and then another, it was like some sort of machine gun unloading relentlessly into her mouth. She could not get a good look at her assailant, she was too shocked by the surprise, as well as feeling her head get larger as the snowballs quickly stockpiled within her inflating cheeks.

Rainbow Dash could hear Pinkie's garbling. She opened her eyes and turned in the direction of the source. She could not believe it... Fluttershy was bending over, gathering snow in her front hooves, and tossing snowballs in perfectly straight lines at the same target area in what seemed like flashes. She was moving at an unimaginable speed. But one thing was distinguishable inside that heroic blur, one angry and vengeful face. How she was getting all that snow from the one small area of ground she was standing on was a matter only Pinkie could understand.

Every soldier on the field was in absolute shock of Pinkie's head getting bigger from collecting all those snowballs. The Lunar guards near the wreckage of the wall were especially in awe, as seeing the action this up close, Pinkie's head blotting out the impromptu entrance to Luna's castle, was too much of a "need-to-see-to-believe" kind of scenario. "Holy Harbingers..." one of them whispered.

Fluttershy finally stopped her attack. Pinkie now had to deal with balancing her new top-heavy cargo while desperately trying not to choke. Fluttershy flew to the top her head, grabbed hold, and spun it around to face the field. She hopped down to Pinkie's torso and gave the Heimlich, causing Pinkie to jerk her humongous head back and spit out the entire collection of snowballs into the air, which all remarkably kept their individual shapes.

The soldiers all got the bright idea to head back to their respective bases for cover. A much easier task for the lunar forces, as their enemy had an entire garden to sprint across.

The balls all bombarded the entire battlefield one-by-one. The slaughter was over-whelming. Few of Luna's guards were lost as the rest successfully sought shelter. Celestia's army fared much worse... She and Twilight were still atop a watch tower watching their valiant fighters fall to brutal aerial shots as some of the balls almost hit them directly. Spike decided right then and there to abandon his place on Twilight's back and get under something solid. Celestia and her student soon followed.

The unbearable onslaught took the lives of too many solar guards. Applejack was one of the few lucky enough to dodge all the shots that would have otherwise taken her out and get back to the fortress. She looked back in horror to see her brother and Bulk were among the many souls claimed by the terrible hailstorm.

After a half-minute which seemed like an eternity, the nightmare had ceased. The lunar guards all peak out toward the opposition's castle.

Fluttershy had pulled Rainbow Dash out of her entombment and allowed her to rest on the floor. She walked back to the top of the pile and took a stance just above the weakened Pinkie Pie. She reached a hoof up to her cream-coloured adversary and begged. "Please... I need to... use the bathroom..." and passed out.

Fluttershy was frightened by the sudden booming voice coming from just behind her. "ATTAAAAACK!!" Luna shouted.

Every able-bodied guard immediately made a full-on rush toward the solar fort whilst yelling out "Hoowaaaaaah!!"

Celestia ordered all of her troops to retreat to the throne room and barricade the entrance.

Back in the throne room, she was really uneased by the small amount of soldiers she had left: Only a few dozen, maybe less. She had her earth-pony guards and Applejack hold the doors closed from the bottom, the pegasi do the same from higher up, and her unicorns use every bit of excess snow to fortify the front walls. She, Twilight and Spike all stood a fair distance away from the entrance.

The doors were being rammed, almost cracking if it weren't for how thick they were built. Solar guards staying strong; the door has not gotten more than a crack open for longer than an instant.

Celestia refused to take chances and just hopped back to her throne, toppling it over backwards. She repositioned it to form a makeshift wall and called to Twilight to come back to her. Twilight refused, choosing to make sure she was the first princess to fall. Spike, however, took up her offer.

The lunar soldiers were certainly acting more aggressive. Just as suspected, they were all well-rested and giving their full effort. Only a small group of guards could ram into the doors at a time due to the surprisingly cramped space of the corridor; it became a lot smaller now that Luna had dozens of her troops in such close quarters.

Celestia's guards were beginning to falter at the door. Fatigue, slipping, and the onsets of a couple of colds were starting to spell out doom.

Spike poked Celestia in her side from behind the throne barricade. "You said 'no magic', but does that mean I'm not allowed to use my fire either?" He inquired.

Celestia gave a defeated response. "As much I'd love to let you save us with it, it would be unfair to them."

"Then I'm going to one of the back corners." Spike bolted off to avoid the inevitable break-in.

Each ram on the door was more successful than the last; the solar guards weakening from every impact. Twilight could do nothing to help directly, as every inch of the door was already covered. She tried to encourage them to stay strong; that Luna would give up at some point. She knew it wasn't true. She wanted to convince herself that she was going to make it out okay, but for the sake of her beloved teacher and friend, she stood in the middle of the path to brace for the attack.

The ramming stopped momentarily. Some of the guards made the crucial mistake of letting themselves relax. Luna knew that at least a couple of them would do so, and it was all she needed.

One more hard shove and the doors flung open, sending Applejack and the guards flying off to the sides.

Twilight and the unicorn guards immediately started chucking snowballs at the thestrals flooding into the room. They were overwhelmed by the sheer numbers and were swiftly dispatched.

"Twilight!" Applejack called out to her friend as the guards regained their bearings. They all tried to get in the path to delay their final defeat. Applejack tried in vain to get a hit on Rainbow Dash whom soon flown in, only to be hit in return. Some of her allies were unable to throw a single shot.

Celestia was peaking over the edge of her throne. Luna was clear in her sights, and flying right toward her. She had a chance to win after all: If she could just land one solid throw in a vital area, Luna would fall, and she would be victorious. She tossed a snowball at her sister, only to see her weave around it and throw a ball of her own which grazed the base of neck. Celestia was taken aback by the hit. She clenched the wounded area and wobbled back away from the relative safety of her shield.

Luna promptly tossed another ball which hit her sister in the stomach, causing her to skip back and land on her back. She landed on the ground on the other side of the fallen throne, stretched out to her sides with her fore-legs and wings and clumped together a giant pile of snow. She held it firmly in place as she jumped into the air, ready to drop it down on her weakened sister.

Celestia saw the tool of her destruction coming down toward her. Her life flashing before her eyes, she instinctively held her front legs out toward it. A fruitless effort; the snow clump had completely covered her entire body. The sound of the impact alerting everypony in the room and causing them to gasp. Celestia's front legs fell over to the sides. She had been bested... and defeated.

Luna landed on top of her snow-coated enemy and turned to face her subjects and those they've dispatched. "Ha-HAH!" She proclaimed. "The empire of the moon is victorious! All measly sun followers bow down to your new one and only leader!" She laughed maniacally, flinging her front hooves into the air. Her laughter soon reduced to cheerful cackling as she fell over to her back beside her sister.

Celestia took it as a sign to sit upright and swipe the snow off of herself. As everyone's eyes were glued to her, she answered. "Alright, everypony! Thank you all very much for participating! I hope you all had fun! You're all dismissed."

Everypony in the room all started to get up and leave them room, helping each other up and congratulating on a battle well fought.

Applejack caught up with Rarity and gave her piece. "Ah'm sure y'all were an imperative asset to your team." She said sarcastically as they shook hooves.

"But of course!" Rarity replied poshly. "Who else would have been the dungeon warden? Speaking of which, we should go release our sisters."

"Ya got 'em imprisoned?"

"Mm-hm. Now come on. It's past their bedtime." She leads them out the room.

Luna had finally calmed herself and grabbed her sister's hoof. She looked up with the most delighted smile. "You are the best sister ever."

Celestia decided to lay back down. "Oh. You know I'd do anything for you. I love you."

"I love you too, Tia." Luna shuffled up close to her and brought their faces close to one another. She was inches away from her when... "Do you wanna build a snow-mare?"

Celestia hopped to her hooves. "One that towers over the castle!"

"What?! Really?!"

"Absolutely! It will be one for the generations." They both started to exit the throne room.

"But how exactly are we supposed to get all that snow? Surely we won't have enough from just the royal grounds."

"Then we shall instigate a snow tax!"

"A snow tax? Sister, that sounds absurd."

"Oh, Luna... where is your imagination?"

Author's Note

...it goes on in spirit.

Okay. Now for ACTUAL notes. I hope you all enjoyed this silly story. Please tell me what you enjoyed about it, what you think I could have done better, your favourite part... etc. anything helps. I thrive on criticism as it will help me improve, naturally.