The Sexualization of Pinkie Pie

"Number Fifteen: Burger King Foot Lettuce" screamed the motherfucking retard on 4chan. Derpy was staring intensely at gay vagina fuckers on the website that was so bad and gay it was probably created by a bbbbrony. Derpy ripped the skin off her cock used her magic scrote hair to open a portal and transported Twilight Sparkle's severed head into her living room. Then Derpy forced the cock skin into Twilight's horn and sucked her wings off so hard they came. You're probably wondering how Derpy had access to Twilight's wings when she only got her severed head. well fuck you asshole shitter. anyway, Pinkie Pie is the bitch whore that this story is about so maybe we should get back to her ass hole.

PENis pie was running around in circles in the middle of Ponyville like a little gay chode-stone. She was freaking the fuck out because someone replaced all her skin with scrotum skin. It was probably Rarity, that dumb cunt! Rainbow Dash showed up and started pissing dildos out her ear and pubic hair too. Pinkie pie was so fucking fagged that her eyes got cut in half for no reason and fell out. There was so much blood that it went up her vagina. It went up Rainbow's vagina too but she thought it felt good so she also died from suicide. The magic in Rainbow's vagina blood combined with Pinkie's blood which formed a magic fucking missile and it was a heat seeking missile. It seeked out the gayest thing ever made which was not 4chan but Rarity. But when the missile was crafted from the magic vagina blood, they forgot to use cum, so it hit Fluttershy's rabbit Angel and cut her in half violently. Then the rabbit blood combined with the magic blood missile and formed a shitty retard missile, because rabbits are gay and have 2 dicks.

The last thing you want in your burger king burger is someone else's foot fungass, but as it turns out, that might be what you geat. A 4channer uploaded a photo of the shitty retard missile on /mlp/. That's when Derpy was browsing 4chan from the first paragraph. She bled out all over her own pussy, but then she saw the shitty retard missile and the blood went back into her. She grabbed the phone and called Applejack. She tried to tell her that there was a shitty retard missile destroying Ponyville, but Applejack couldn't understand anything she was saying because Derpy's a fucking downy tard. Applejack went back to fucking Big McIntosh with her strap-on made from 300 severed human dicks. I will now go into great detail on how she made the strap-on.

First, Applejack had to use the magic of the apples to make apple cider. That was completely unrelated, but I fucking tricked your dumb ass.

First, Applejack had to use the magic of the apples to open a PORTAL!!!! this was a portal to the HUMAN WORLDDD. She tracked down all the mentally disabled people who like mlp (they were all naked and looking at this: https://tiarawhy.com/animations/pony/banned-from-equestria-daily-alpha-1-5/)

Each one she made sure suffered the greatest pain. First she skinned them alive but used the magic of the apples to keep them from dying. Then she cut off their dicks with one of these:

It was very dull so it took like 3 years. It took so long they turned green. Before cutting them off though, she collected 50000 gallons of each of their cum. After that she teleported them using the magic of the apples back to ponyville so she could hot glue them together. And by hot glue I mean she used dried cum from their own ballsacks. She used duct tape too in case it didn't hold forever. So when it was all completed, she had a strap-on that was a million feet in girth but only like 2 inches in length. It was Big Mac's favorite strap-on. He was so gay that he couldn't get hard even when he was getting fucked in the ass by real cocks, and only because it was his own sister doing the gay fucking. The sudden realization that Big Mac would never get sexually aroused from his own sister fucking his ass with a strap-on caused all of his teeth to fall out and dog penises grow in their places.

By now, the shitty retard missile had grown so much bigger from Pinky's eye socket blood that it smelled like a burnt zebra's asshole. I hate it when fucking random people follow me on twitter. The shitty retard missile was heading straight for town hall, where Mayor Mare was signing into law that it is illegal to not be raping someone at any given time. After signing this bill, anyone being raped was immediately arrested, and then their rapists were also arrested for not raping in the following moment that their victim was arrested. This law would go down in history as Derpy's Law, because still nobody likes her.

With the statement: "This is the lettuce you eat at Burger King." Admittedly, he had shoes on. But that's even worse.
The post went live at 11:38 PM on July 16, and a mere 20 minutes later, the Burger King in question was alerted to the rogue employee. At least, I hope he's rogue. How did it happen? Well, the BK employee hadn't removed the Exif data from the uploaded photo, which suggested the culprit was somewhere in Mayfleld Heights, Ohio. This was at 11:47. Three minutes later at 11:50, the Burger King branch address was posted with wishes of happy unemployment. 5 minutes later, the news station was contacted by another 4channer. And three minutes later, at 11:58, a link was posted: BK's "Tell us about us" online forum. The foot photo, otherwise known as exhibit A, was attached. Cleveland Scene Magazine contacted the BK in question the next day. When questioned, the breakfast shift manager said "Oh, I know who that is. He's getting fired." Mystery solved, by 4chan. Now we can all go back to eating our fast food in peace.

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