Cross Ice, Play Nice

by bdhuyewbs

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Main 6, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy, Other, Crossover, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2380

A pony devoid of passion takes an other-worldly trip to find himself, and bring a dormant sport to the forefront of Equestrian entertainment. If only he could get everypony else on-board. An HiE fic, but not the HiE you know.

Grand Champion, despite his name, is an underachiever in every possible fashion.

Of course, having an overachieving mother and sister tends to do that to a pony.

Having never found his passion in life, let alone a cutie-mark to call his own, he drifts between odd-job to odd-job to try and find some semblance of stability. Little does he realize that his passion and talents not only lie outside of the crystal empire, but outside the fabric of Equestria itself.

After returning from a journey two and a half years in the making, he must bring a dormant sport to the forefront of equestrian entertainment.

If only he could refrain from ripping his mane out while explaining the rules.

An HiE fic, but not the HiE you know.

Published 2014-05-05 06:30:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-05 06:30:04 UTC

Prelude Part One: Cross Ice, Crossroads

The sun crept over the horizon to start a new day in the Crystal Empire, the unique crystal landmarks shimmering as the initial rays reflected against them. To any tourist, it was truly a unique experience where it felt as if the city itself was coming to life, but to the crystal ponies it was business as usual.

Now normally when morning comes there are usually two kinds of families: early birds or late risers. The latter being a seldom seen classification, seeing as how that same magical morning effect that tourists seem to gush about is a natural alarm clock for the Empire's citizens.

Beautiful? It was a miracle if anypony managed to sleep through it.

But that's exactly what Grand Champion was doing on this uneventful early morning. Nature be damned, he would've fought tooth and hoof for even a few more minutes of sleep.

His mother would have none of it though.

A cacophony of bangs were heard on the other side of his door as he was roused from his slumber. There were many ideal ways to be woken up in the morning but this was surely not one of them. A chorus of birds, a gentle breeze, a yawn of a beautiful mare, take your pick. Life can't ever be that favorable can it?

Don't answer that.

"Grand, honey, it's time to get your flank outta bed!" His mother's chipper voice echoed across the room.

Sweet Celestia that mare needs a muffler, he thought. "Five more minutes mom" he tried to mutter but it was a garbled mess since his face was glued to his pillow.

"What?" his mother questioned.

Ugh, is her hearing going bad? "Five more minutes mom" he tried again, lifting his head off his pillow and expending the least amount of energy possible.

"No can do son, there are too many objects in this house that collect dust all day, and you will not be one of them." She replied curtly and excused herself downstairs.

Oh so I'm an object now? Fantastic, it can't be worse than everything else I've been doing. He let out one final groan before he made his way to the bathroom. After getting his morning cleansing rituals out of the way, he made his way downstairs. There he found a very grand and flashy kitchen filled to the brim with all kinds of knick-knacks from kitchen utensils to arrowheads to sharp and deadly blades. His mom was one of those moms that liked to keep everything that fit a certain prerequisite into a confined area and stuff as much space up as she could. Because her mentality was, "Hey? If there are already sharp and deadly objects in the kitchen, why not put every sharp and deadly object we own in the kitchen, what could possibly go wrong?"

I think I'm beginning to see why nopony brings their foals over here. How have I not been skewered yet? Grand remarked as he sidled around the kitchen. He made his way to the table and found his sister eating his favorite cereal, Cheerilee-O'sTM, while his mom was busy drinking coffee and reading the morning paper. Wait? His sister was eating his favorite cereal?

There are some things in this world that you just don't do. This is one of those instances.

"Hey, ya little guttersnipe! Who gave you permission to help yourself to my morning munchies?" Grand replied sharply. Of course, by this point her little face was stuffed with so much cereal that she had no means by which to respond to her annoying brother, so she settled for a quirked eyebrow instead. This only succeeded in making him more angry. There seems to be this inherent ability that little siblings have to make their older siblings angry, whether through action or expression, they knew what buttons to press. Before she could respond properly, his mother decided to make her presence known.

"I did, actually" she nonchalantly noted, never bothering to look away from her paper. She squealed and jumped up suddenly and flashed a headline toward the younger sibling. "Look, sweetie! You made the paper again!"

Sure Shot looked up inquisitively toward the headline while her brother tried to do his best impression of a gagging buffalo, at least, that was what it sounded like to her. She studied the headline briefly and it read:

Ice Empress Wins Regional Tournament

"Cool." She simply stated. This perturbed her mother and before she could get anything in, she decided to intervene. "I know, you probably think I should be more excited about this, but I guess I've been in the paper so much I've gotten used to it by now."

"Oh honey, that isn't something to be reserved about, I think it's great that your talents get recognition. Being humble is fine and all, but nopony's going to get in a tizzy if you show a little excitement over something! I got really excited when I won my fourth tournament too!" Return Ace proudly stated.

"Mom, it's fine, when the time comes I'm sure I'll be excited over--"

"Hello?! Can I have a word now?! What about my cereal?" Grand practically screamed. If this conversation was progressing in the way he thought it was, then he would have no part of it.

The two ladies never responded, just gave him a brief stare of derision and continued back to their conversation of how to handle success made public.

"Really?! Do we have to discuss this during breakfast? It's bad enough that my sister is stealing the cereal that I bought with my hard-earned money, but now I have to listen to this crap during breakfast now?" Yeah, that pretty much did it for him. He never had the composure his mother or sister had, one a retired consummate professional, the other a prospective professional. His mom always told him that he got his fiery temper from his father, but he had never met his father in his life. Whenever he inquired about him, she became very tight-lipped about the topic, and after so many tries he just gave up on it.

"You mean the money you earned picking up dog poop at the park?" His sister snickered behind her words. Ace couldn't help but giggle at that comment too.

Make that tally number two for team sister. He felt hot fury rising to his cheeks.

"Who cares about where it came from, it's still my money!" He huffed.

"Did ya find any dignity while you were looking, or did you step in that too?" she cleverly added. Both ladies chuckled at their seemingly light-hearted roasting of the man of the house, unaware about the time bomb they were about to set off.

Stress levels rising...........must. not. kill. He was fighting a losing battle, and it took every amount of mental fortitude he had to not blow his top off and chuck his cereal bowl at her head. She may have been blessed with a keen eye and obscene accuracy with a bow, but there was no way he would miss at this distance.

Put that on your tally chart.

Grand put on his best poker face and made his way away from the table. He gathered up some traveling necessities, including his own personal journal. That journal meant everything to him, his own personal muse for his thoughts and the greatest tool for learning he could ever acquire. Now don't misunderstand, he had graduated from high school just like many of his peers, but he felt that the entire high school experience overall had been severely overrated. He tried college for a few semesters but it felt the same as high school except with more expectations and commitments that never sat right with him. The greatest teacher to him was life experience, and as cliche as that sounds, he learned more in his years out of high school than he ever did in it. Learning, in his newfangled experience, was these little moments in life that needed to be captured so they could not escape him at a later time. Every single tidbit of knowledge he felt could be important to him later, he wrote down. Now at 23, he had acquired over 5 years of knowledge in the form of his anecdotes. Do you know how many notebooks are worth 5 years worth of knowledge to a pony as meticulous as Grand? There is no need to say it, only that buying new notebooks became a living expense for him.

Grabbing a fresh notebook, he proceeded towards the door. Just as he was about to open it, he was paused by his mother's voice.

"Going out now?" she said, almost coming out as a whisper.

It was a neutral statement, but the earlier slight courtesy of his sister still weighed heavily on his mind, and he was feeling saucy enough to stir the proverbial hornet's nest once again.

"Yes, I am" he politely stated. "Some ponies have to actually go out and reach for success, rather than it be handed to them right into their lap." He cocked his head towards his sister, "Or their cereal bowl"

Oh boy. That's a hell of a way to clear the air.

Sure Shot slammed the table with both of her hooves, leaving a veritable mess of breakfast and dairy matter splattered across the table. She grabbed her spoon and held it menacingly as she gathered up ammunition for a counter-offensive against this egregious and bold attack on her character.

Champ could only cringe and look in slight horror at her.

Sweet merciful Luna, what is she gonna do? Spoon out my eyeballs over spilled milk? Composed? Pfft, my shiny blank flank!

"Excuse me?" She replied, not bothering to mask the malice in her tone. "I didn't get like this by lounging and coasting my way to this point, and I certainly didn't get to where I am today from shoveling shit out of the local parks!" she exclaimed.

The matriarch of the family let out an extremely loud gasp. Grand was a little shocked himself. He didn't think he'd ever heard his sister swear before. There was an unspoken rule between the older members of the family to never swear around her. She must have picked that up from school. Return Ace shot her son a pleading look, hoping that he could be the bigger man then and there to end the argument before it escalated further.

Too late, he thought. The floodgates are open and everything from here on out is pure, unfiltered, emotions. He cast a furtive glance over to his agonized sister, studying her features carefully, as if he would attempt to write this moment in his journal. Her eyes shimmering with anger, her muzzle positively blushing with fury. These expressions, these emotions, there was no doubt about it. They made him anxious, but in some sick and twisted way, they made him positively giddy. The feeling was relatively new to Grand, so like a blank page in his journal, he decided to explore and document it.

"Be careful sis" he began, his tone laced with contempt. "Keep elevating yourself higher, and you'll find yourself celebrating your victories with nothing but the company of ants. Then who do you go to?" he finished.

By this point hot tears were spilling out of her eyes, and her breath hitched as her sobbing began.

"You idiot! What does that even mean?!" She finished as she stormed up the stairs to her room.

He watched her leave, and then spoke the rest of his peace in a morose tone.

"Of course you don't know," he muttered. "How could the giant possibly understand the woes of the ant?"

His mom gave him a exasperated look, then spoke to him.

"That, was not how I expected you to handle things." She stated and gave another sigh of exhaustion.

"Sometimes, I wonder how I manage to put up with you two" She gave a weak smile at the end, her attempt to try and lighten the mood. Try as she might, not even the woman who raised him could pacify the dark thoughts that were manifesting to the surface.

"Forgive me for being blunt, mother, but substitute the word 'always' for 'sometimes' and you have my opinion on the matter."

He turned away from her, not bothering to find out the kind of expression she'd make to that. Never looking back he left with a final message.

"I got a new gig doing custodial work at the crystal castle, I won't be home for a while, but I might be back later tonight."

He took a final glance at the cabinets prominently displayed near the entrance way, displayed in them varieties of awards, one side for his mom, the other for his sister. It had everything under the sun from trophies to placards to medals, all in pristine condition. It was truly a symbolic display of the kind of achievement and success that they had brought to this family and made them who they are today. To Grand however, it was nothing more than an obnoxious and solemn reminder that he would never be good enough for this family.

He packaged on, and set off, never bothering to look back.

Author's Note

Hey there reader! Glad you could make it through! What's that? You skipped through the story just to get to the author's notes? You better get topside and flex those eyeball muscles soldier! Shame on you!

So why so dark and dramatic? That wasn't in the tags! Well tags imply that the theme is recurring in the story, and I promise you this is about as dark and dramatic as it gets.

What the junk? Isn't this story about hockey? Where it be at? Yes you silly goose, have patience. I will get to that soon, there's a process for these things, or in the Canadian spirit, a pro-cess.

After some deliberation I have decided to break up the prelude into multiple parts to give certain scenes more impact.

I would love feedback and comments, critiques are welcome, but I'm not tryin' to extinguish any flames here people! Thanks!

-bdhuyewbs