Home Is Where The Heart Is
My arm itched. I wished I could scratch it.
It’s one of the things the doctors told me about, the first time I was aware enough to understand them. Having a cast meant that I’d have to put up with some stuff on the side until it came off. It might itch, but don’t try to scratch it—and definitely don’t tap it. Also, don’t get it wet, since the plaster needs to stay dry; anything that’s drawn on there is going to be there until it comes off, so think twice, and careful not to step on it. Don’t try to walk on a broken limb, they say? I would never have guessed.
Whatever. The doc was probably right. Well, he was right, and what he said made sense, but the more I tried to think about his advice to make the itching go away, the worse it got. It was just a dull twinge when I woke up, but after tossing and turning for who knows how long, it felt like a mosquito bit me while I had chicken pox, then cleaned up after itself with a leaf of poison ivy. I’d ignored it like a campaign promise, but it did not want to go away.
Maybe I should have ignored it like a fart instead?
Thinking about not thinking about it just made me think about it more, so since not thinking about not thinking about it wasn’t an option, I looked around for something else to do. No way I was going to be able to go back to sleep, so I turned on the lamp and floated a book over to me. I was really glad I had magic to do all that for me; forget trying to turn on a lamp with a broken forehoof, that would’ve meant going through life using my mouth for stuff instead of a spell. Katydid always complained about doorknobs tasting awful.
Speaking of not thinking about things, I tried not to think about her too much either. She was fine, sure—or at least, she wasn’t hurt—but I didn’t like being away from her. Hay, she probably didn’t like being away from me, either. Even if she was in a way better place now, we didn’t know any of the ponies here at the hospital. I kinda knew the nurse, since she seemed to be the one in charge of me, but I just called her Nurse. She was nice and all, but it wasn’t like I was going to be around her for too much longer. Almost none of the adults ever stayed for too long. And the one that did shouldn’t have.
I pulled the blanket a little tighter around me. I wasn’t cold, but it felt better. Another thing to not think about: he’s gone. Outta here forever. I was okay, in the hospital and way away.
Still … telling myself that only did so much good. I usually tucked tighter under the blanket when I heard an adult walking by the door even if I wasn’t asleep. It was a habit I’d picked up over the last few years to pretend to be asleep so Rod would leave me alone. Same here, really—I was there, minding my business, getting better, so they didn’t need to come in and look. Usually only Nurse did.
Usually. That time, though, it was somepony else; I could kinda hear a low thud-thud-thud as they got closer, so it was either a really big pony or one of the Guardponies. I relaxed a little bit when I heard metal clinking, so a Guard.
I didn’t think they’d be going for one of the other patients, since most of the ponies here weren’t kids, so I wasn’t all that surprised when a foreleg wearing one of those metal hoof-armor things knocked on the door. It was just one pony again—a new pony this time, a yellowish mare, with a brown mane. She was actually in full armor, too, not just the chain mail shirt gendarmes wore under their uniforms. I didn’t know what was up with that, but whatever.
She knocked again, and waited to make sure I looked over at her before coming in. “Sparkler, yes?”
“Yeah, s'me.” Or at least, last time I checked I was. “You the new caseworker or something?”
The Guardmare looked down at her armor, then back at me as she raised her eyebrow. Well—okay, it was a dumb question, but she didn’t exactly tell me who she was. I dog-eared the page and put the book down. “Gendarme, then. Dunno what I can tell you that I didn't tell the last guy, but c'mon in, I guess.”
“Thank you.” She sat down on a seat-cushion next to my bed. “I wanted to know the details of what happened to you, in your own words.”
Oh come on, did I really have to tell it all again? “Look, could you just read the report I gave the last guy? No offense, but I really just wanna forget about it.” Telling the gendarme the first time was bad enough, but no, once wasn’t enough—again for them, and then the shrink, and then the report again, and then for the lawyer guy. I mean, come on! It’s not like I was making it up.
The mare shrugged a wing. “My apologies, but…” Great. Guess she wasn’t gonna take ‘no’ for an answer.
“Fine.” I sighed, and hugged my cast against my chest. One more time. “It all started over some stupid toy. Katydid came in and got me because Rumpus was being a jerk.” Again. “He’s cool when he wants to behave, but when he doesn’t … you ever have a little brother?”
She nodded. “Two, along with one older one and a little sister.”
Well, she’d at least knew where I was coming from. When little brothers want to get along, they’re awesome; when they want to be a pain, they could really, really, really ruin a pony’s day. “You know what I mean, then. I dunno why Rumpus wanted her doll so bad—I dunno if he even really wanted it so much as he just wanted to get under her coat, or something. Doesn’t really matter, I guess; he took it, she came to me to get it back from him.
“I still hadn’t figured out why Rumpus took her stupid doll. He had his own doll—okay, action figure, but come on, anypony who’s honest with themself is gonna call it a doll—and Katydid’s was just a stuffed otter. Maybe he wanted a hostage for his not-a-doll to rescue, or something.
“Whatever. He could play whatever games he wanted, but the rules were he had to ask first. And he didn’t, so he couldn’t use it. Taking it up with Spare Rod was always a little iffy, so I usually just dealt with stuff when I could.”
The guardsmare rubbed her chin. “So you went to go and get the doll back. I take it the bully objected?”
I nodded. “They don't like it when you show them they can't do that stuff. So, he dug in his hooves and got a good grip on it, but an earth pony's bite isn't gonna win out against magic.” I tapped my horn. Usually I could just steal back whatever he’d stolen and that would be the end of it, but it’d been harder than usual lately. I guess Rumpus had had a growth spurt. “So he shook his head ... you know, like a dog does when it's got a chewtoy? Tore the stuffing right out of the doll.” Jerk. If he couldn't have it, nopony could.
“I see.”
“Katydid threw a fit seeing her doll like that.” Not that I could totally blame her—she’d had that doll since before we’d gone to live with Spare Rod. “I was just gonna give Rumpus a smack on the back of the head and be done with it, unless he started something, but anypony making a racket was kinduva a bad thing. I think he knew he was in for it when we couldn't get Katydid to shut up.”
The guardsmare frowned. “I presume the noise drew Spare Rod's attention?”
“Sounds of a kid crying kinda does that,” I said, nodding. “On a good day, he'd've just come in, seen the doll, looked at Katydid pointing at Rumpus, and just barked at him to knock it off, but ... well. That wasn't a good day.” I always hated the fact that I had to separate ‘good days’ from bad ones with my foster dad. “Rumpus's a jackass, but there's a bit of a difference between what I can do to him if he starts a fight and what an adult can do.”
The guardsmare’s frown deepened, and my ears went flat as I thought about what I’d said. “Uh, jerk. He's a jerk. Sorry.”
“I've heard far worse, young lady.” I didn’t doubt it, although given the quiet smirk on her face, I had to wonder what she’d heard that would make ‘jackass’ seem tame.
Way to go, me... “Anyway ... yeah, that got Spare Rod's attention.” Katydid would've gone under a bed or something if she hadn't been so torn up about her doll, but Rumpus knew by that point that running was just gonna make things worse on him. Even now, I could remember the familiar thump-thump-thump of angry hoofsteps. “I guess he was already mad about something, 'cause he usually doesn't smack the colts. Least, not that hard. So... yeah. Rumpus was being a jackass, but I didn't like seeing that. So I grabbed a book and brought it up as hard as I could under Rod's tail.”
I’d broken the one big rule doing that: never, ever, ever fight back. Whatever else, Spare Rod’d set his life aside to care for us. I mean—we had a roof over our heads, food, schooling, a couple of toys and books. Hay, he even remembered our birthdays—or, most of them. I didn’t know the exact date, but the docs guessed I’d been born in early April, so we’d always gone to Game Stable around then.
Other kids had come and gone in twos and threes, but Katydid, Rumpus and me had stuck together in his home since we’d come here. We wouldn’t be anything without him, wouldn’t have a place in the world without him.
So … yeah. Looking back on it all, even now, I still couldn’t believe I’d gone after him. It was like somepony going up and smacking Princess Celestia: ponies just don’t do that.
I saw the guardsmare eyeing my cast. It wasn’t hard to figure out what she was going to ask, so I beat her to the punch. “So, yeah. That’s how this happened. S’kinda one of those times when you know you've crossed a line, right? I ran for the door, 'cause I figured gettin’ hit in the balls would slow him down. Guess I had a smaller target to hit than I thought, 'cause I got shoved down right as I made it to the stairs. Thud-thud-thud, and the next thing I see's something white poking outta my foreleg.”
She flinched at that, and I couldn’t really stop a shudder. I’d known it was a bad just because I knew ponies weren’t supposed to be able to see their bones outside of an x-ray, but … Celestia. It’d been like I’d hit my funny bone, then got a thousand, thousand, thousand paper cuts on top of it and tried to make it all better with a salt-and-lemon juice poultice. Except worse.
Probably not the best analogy, but it’s one of those things that’s hard to put to words. Only ponies who’ve ever broken a bone know what it really feels like.
“There's a gap in my memory after that.” I hugged myself tighter, pulling the blanket a bit around me. “I don't remember how I got out the door, or how Rod didn't stop me from getting out. Guess the door wasn't latched properly, or open, or ... I dunno. It just hurt. Next thing I remember seeing is a big, gold breastplate, 'cause some guard was h-hugging me.”
“And that Guard brought you here,” she finished.
I nodded. “Been in here ever since.” I shuddered again, holding my broken leg as tight against me as I could without it hurting. Honestly, that was the last thing I remembered until waking up, days later with the cast in place.
We stopped talking for a bit after that. I sat there, trying to scratch that itch under my cast; I gave up on Nurse’s advice and tried to tap it. It didn’t work, and it hurt, but it was still just an echo of what I’d felt that day. The guardsmare just sat there, watching me. After a while, she took off that hoof-armor thing and set it on my bed. “Do you know what's in store for you?”
“I gotta go to court or something, right?” Please say no, please say no, please say no...
Unfortunately, she nodded. “You will need to testify against him eventually.” Damn it. That figured. That just … damn it!
“I can't just not see him again, huh?” I hugged myself at the thought.
“Do you want to risk Rod returning to his position in the foster system?”
“No! Gods no, but ... I don't wanna see him again, either.”
She nodded in what I guess was supposed to be some kind of understanding gesture. She didn’t get it, though. None of ‘em did.
Dammit, why couldn’t they just read the stupid report?! I’d told them everything they needed to know to take him away. I shivered and hugged my cast again. “Guess if it'll keep him away from the others. I mean, Katydid didn’t even like standing up to read in class.” I didn’t quite stop a chuckle as I thought back to just last month, when she’d asked me, Rumpy and Rod to stay after dinner so she could practice.
That made me stop and think, though. If the guardsponies’d come to me about all that stuff … oh, jeez. I didn’t even think about Katydid or Rumpy. They’d probably had to answer a bunch of questions too. Nurse said they were still in the hospital in the kids’ ward, since they wanted to watch ‘em for long-term stuff, but the three of us hadn’t been able to visit each other too much because of school stuff.
Being here didn’t exactly change the fact that she, Rumpy and me were still technically in the foster care system. They were both younger than me, and usually it was the younger ponies that got taken first. “Hey. Um. d'you know where she is, anyway? She didn't get adopted out yet or anything, right?”
“Not that I'm aware of.”
“Cool, cool.” Okay, it was selfish for me to be happy, but I was still a little happy. “I mean, I hope she finds a family and all that jazz, but I wanna say hi one more time. Rumpy, too; he can be pretty funny when he’s not being a jacka—eh, jerk.”
“Negative environments encourage negative behavior,” the guardsmare said with a small nod. “At least, according to my sister-in-law.”
I guess that made sense. “She sounds like some kinda head-doc.”
“She is.”
Oh. That explained a bit. I shrugged, not really sure what else to say. “So ... yeah. That's that, unless you want the rest of my life's story, starting with the fact that I was born at an early age.”
“I think what we've already discussed will suffice,” she said, a ghost of a grin on her face.
I grinned back for a bit. Only a bit, though; it fell off after a little bit, though, as something else popped in my head. “I’m still gonna have to go back, aren’t I?”
Back. Back into the foster care system. Nice ponies, sure, and they did a lot for us; I mean, for as long as I could remember, I’d had everything I needed in life. Or, almost everything; food, books, toys and school were great, sure, but outside of Katydid and Rumpy, I’d never had consistency.
Back to a sea of faces, kids and adults, that’d come and go faster than weekends in the middle of a school year. Sure, most of ‘em were nice, but Katydid and Rumpy being with me since she was a foal was the exception, not the rule. The rules said that small foster homes like Rod’s couldn’t have more than five kids per adult, so a lot of the kids that’d come in usually didn’t stay longer than a few months.
Back. I’d go back. It would be nice. A nice, comfortable gilded cage.
“I mean, s'how it works, right? Unless somepony's been gunning to take me home.” I hugged myself, wincing a little as my arm twinged. “Honestly? I hope they find something else on a scan or something, just so I can stay a bit more. I don't wanna miss saying bye to Katydid or Rumpy before somepony adopts ‘em, but... S'a trade-off, y'know?”
When I glanced back, the guardsmare was giving me this weird, long look. I was about to ask what was up when she nodded. “I’ll see what arrangements can be made. In the meantime, though, do you need anything, before I go?”
Hope would be nice. “Think I'm okay for now. Thanks, though.”
“Mmm. Until later, then.” She nodded to me, then left. I was kind of surprised how quiet she was, given how much metal was on her body. Guess part of that Guard training included how to move quietly, or something—although her armor was probably enchanted to the brim to help with it.
“Cool. See you.” I went back to reading for a little bit, trying to get rid of the bad memories in an old Daring Do book. Pushing Rod outta my mind was easy enough; it was the guardmare I couldn’t stop thinking about for some reason. She had the report, so why’d she come talk to me? I wasn’t exactly chomping at the bit to spill my life’s story to a total stranger.
It wasn’t until Nurse checked in that I realized the guardmare hadn’t been taking notes while we talked.
A few days came and went after the guardsmare came to visit me. Maybe a week—maybe more, maybe less. Time didn’t seem to pass the same way in the hospital. I was mostly off of the painkillers at that point, so it wasn’t as much a blurred cycle of light-to-dark-to-light as it was burning through the stacks of books Nurse would bring me until it was time to see Katydid and Rumpy again.
I hadn’t even thought to keep a count of how many, really—it was more a question of what I didn’t read. Adventure, mystery, fantasy, even some history books. The historical fiction was … okay, but most of what they had was more geared towards ponies Rumpy’s age or younger. Nurse even let me have books from the adults’ section of the hospital library. I liked those a lot better, and not because they were all violence and sex tucked away in an avalanche of political stuff—that had only been the one book, and since Nurse was really quick to take it away before I could finish it, it’d probably gotten mixed in by accident. I kinda wanted to get that one back for reasons, but most of the books I liked reading were ones that didn’t try to be all, ‘Here’s a bad guy! But shh—you don’t know that yet.’
I liked the stories where the good guys and the bad guys were harder to pick out, like the Daring Do books. The original ones, anyway—before all the extras by other ponies, and all the foal-friendly stuff. It’s not that most of it was bad, but I really only cared about the Young Daring Do stuff ‘cause Rumpy liked it. The hospital had most of the series, so even though Rod had read it to us a hundred times already, Rumpy still wanted to read them again when I came to visit. In order.
But I couldn’t do the voices as good. Gods, during his better days, Rod would go all night if he could. He’d get the corny bad guys voices, the dramatic good guy voices—hay, even sound effects, too. Katydid’d been a little too young to understand anything back then, but storytime hadn’t ended until she’d had at least one good laugh.
As she got older, the reading had changed. We’d start rereading stuff we’d finished the night before. It had been once or twice a month, at first: he’d start reading, frown at the book, and flip back a few pages before starting up again. As time went on,, though, we started missing more and more, until we were skipping half a chapter or starting it over. Rod didn’t get it, either. He’d just get frustrated as he tried to find a spot to start at, and then his voices weren’t as fun.
I couldn’t help but shiver. Hay, we’d been curled up together and digging into the newest Young Daring Do, just a week before it all went wrong. It was new to all of us, so I didn’t have to worry about him getting grumpy about bookmarks; Katydid had had a blast, and even though he wouldn’t admit it, Rumpy liked being read to.
What happened? Even now … gods. I just didn’t know. The guards, Nurse, even my case worker Careful Watch’d said that it hadn’t had anything to do with any of us. I wanted to believe ‘em, but we’d all grown up so much since he’d taken us in. But he’d always been there.
He always would be there, somehow. And I might have to see him again, in court.
That thought, more than anything scared me. How was I supposed to say anything about him in court? I’d have to see him, he’d be watching me, listening to every word I said about him. Maybe they’d lock him up and take him away, but what if they couldn’t? Like, what if the gendarmerie had screwed up arresting him or something and had to let him go, or what if he got away somehow?
Even if they didn’t, they’d have to let him out eventually. And all that time he spent in there, he’d know what I said about him. He’d know it was me that put him in there. Me. The kid that he’d taken into his home, devoted years to raising.
I curled my blanket tighter around me. Gods, more than anything, that thought scared me. Could I do it? Would I choke? Could I even see him again knowing that he’d see me, hear me—remember me? What would happen? Did I even have to face him? What if I didn’t? What if … what if I found another way?
The thought just popped into my head. I dunno why, or how, but the tighter I curled, the more I felt that blanket. It was hospital stuff, so nothing too fluffy, but it was rugged. Strong. Really strong stuff.
It pulled against my neck a bit as I looked around, trying to find something, anything; my bed didn’t have any posts. Nothing in the closet. The shower curtain was probably hollow too, so it probably couldn’t hold my weight.
It couldn’t take me. It didn’t look like anything could take me away.
Take me away. Take me away, so I wouldn’t have to think about him; away from the memories of him, or even just away from feeling scared. Nothing would let me go away from having to face him again.
But if I could—if I didn’t have to face him again, somepony else might.
I tried not to cry. What was I supposed to do? Have Rumpy go to court for me ‘cause I was a damn wimp? Or Katydid? If I didn’t want to do it that bad, how much worse would it be for them?
Damn it. Damn it. Damn it, damn it, damn it.
Hoofsteps in the hall cut me off from thinking about it much more. I pretended I was dead asleep, which involved all of closing my eyes and keeping an ear perked to try and figure out who was coming. The hoofsteps were too light to be another guardpony, but it wasn’t Nurse either—she had kind of a weird gait that stood out. This sounded kind of like that, but like he was stumbling over himself or something.
I listened a little harder, and realized that there were two sets of hooves coming in. I peeked through my eyelids to watch Nurse and my caseworker, Careful Watch, take a half-step back like they were thinking about coming back later. Guess they didn’t want to wake me up or something.
I shifted and sat up, pretending to blink the sleep out of my eyes. Nurse gave me a second, then knocked on the open door and came in.
“Time to wake up,” Nurse murmured. He helped me sit up, giving me a small nudge to come to the edge of the bed. I dangled my hindlegs over the side of the bed and found that Careful Watch had sat down nearby, right where that guardsmare had been when she came by.
Careful Watch spat a clipboard out of his mouth and gave me a small smile. “Hello, Sparkler.”
“S’up?”
“Not much, today.” I dunno how he kept all the stuff on his clipboard straight without magic, but somehow, he unlatched a couple of papers and started flipping through them. “The hospital's going to be releasing you soon, so there are just a few last-minute things to go over.”
Damn it. I was hoping I’d at least get to stay until my cast came off. “You're sure everything came up clean? Like, no blips, tips, or bits on ... in ... whatever?”
“That's what I'm checking now,” Nurse said. I hissed as he pressed a stethoscope against my back. I swear, it’s like a medical law or something that they have to be ice-cold before they can be used on a patient.
Sadist that he is, he chuckled at my discomfort. “Lungs’re fine.”
I rolled my eyes and turned back to Careful Watch. Somehow, he had a quill at the ready in a hoof. Maybe it was just me, but I could never figure out how an earth pony could ever pull that off.
His eyes flitted back and forth between me and his clipboard as he scribbled a few notes. “How have you been feeling, Sparkler?”
“Fine.” I felt a little bad about lying, but telling him what I’d wanted to do before he came in probably wouldn’t’ve gone over well.
“I imagine you’re looking forward to getting out of the hospital.”
I looked down. “Not really.”
“Oh?” His ears perked, and he leaned forward a bit.
“Leaving means I gotta go back. Even if it's not Rod's place again, s'just going back into the system.” Back into Foal Services—but only after I’d testified against Rod.
“Mmm.” Careful Watch scribbled down one more thing, then put the paperwork in my lap.”You won't be going into a group home.”
That got my attention. My horn glowed, blowing through the papers in record time. It was a ton of legalese, with big terms and paragraphs denser than Rumpy’s skull, but when I got to the end, I saw a few key words that somepony had helpfully highlighted—probably for my benefit. Words like ‘probationary period’ and ‘preliminary adoption.’
For the first time since I’d checked in, I felt a flicker of hope.
I barely even noticed Nurse as she finished she checkup. I read it all over and over again, then flipped back a page just so I could come to the last bit again and make sure the words were really there. Then I bit my lip until it hurt, to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.
“Some…” I was barely speaking above a whisper, not wanting to jinx it. “Somepony’s … they wanna take me home?”
Careful Watch’s smile widened. “Yes. It looks like you caught somepony's eye.”
“Who?” After all the time I’d spent in the system … somepony wanted me. I didn't think anypony was gonna go for me. Not when kids Katydid’s age were way easier to place. Hay, I’d been passed over so many times that I’d resigned myself years ago to just signing myself out when I hit adulthood. I flipped through the paperwork again, looking for signatures.
Naturally, they were on the last page of the bunch: Nimbus Gust and Tornado Kicker. “S'cool, I guess.” It was the second name stuck out more; I didn’t know any Kickers, but everypony knew that they were the biggest clan around. Hay, they’d been around since Pegasopolis was still a nation, and even before then.
“Mmm.” Careful Watch sat back patiently. “The Major's taken a keen interest in your case from the start.”
'Major'? Huh. “He in the gendarmerie or something?”
“They're both in the Guard. You've met Major Gust, right?”
“I don't think so.” Or if I had, I’d never caught his name. All of the guards blurred together in my memory. Kind of hard to remember any of them, really; even without the painkillers, most of them had just come in to ask me about Rod, then never come back.
Careful Watch’s smile faded a bit. “Well, maybe you didn't remember her. You've been through a lot in the last few days.”
“'Her'?” I frowned and rubbed my mane, then blinked as the pieces fell into place. “That mare from earlier?”
“Ah, so you do remember her?”
“Yeah, I—yeah.” Another thought clicked in my head. “She's a major?! And she's ... I thought she was just following up or something.”
“Like I said,” Careful Watch said, “you must have made an impression.”
“Huh. I ... huh. Cool.” Now the talk with the guardsmare made a bit more sense. I hadn’t really thought about why she hadn’t taken notes like the other Guards had. I kinda wish I’d paid more attention to her, in hindsight, but I thought she’d just been another investigator. Instead, she was taking me home to live with her. “How much longer do I have to stay here? I mean—” I nodded to Nurse. “You've been great and all, but now that I have something to go to…”
Nurse chuckled, and walked over to help me off the bed. “Did you already forget why we're here? You're being released.”
Released. I was getting out of the hospital, getting out of Foal Services altogether. More than that, somepony was adopting me. Even as my hooves met the tile, even as I levitated the signed paperwork back to Careful Watch, I still couldn’t believe it.
Nurse tied a sling around me and carefully put my cast into it, then gave me a hug as he helped steady me on my hooves. “Congratulations. I’ve been praying to Celestia that she'd send somepony for you ever since you came in.”
“Thanks. Really, I—thanks.” I took a minute to make sure I could balance on three legs. Nurse kept a hoof under my chest, making sure I didn’t put any weight on my cast while I practiced walking. It didn’t take too long, but even if it did, I wouldn’t’ve taken any more time than I absolutely had to to get it down.
Nurse kept her hoof in place, ready to take my weight the second I slipped. “You sure you’re up for walking? I can get a crutch or a chair if you’d prefer.”
“I can walk. Sorta. M'just kinduv slow.” A chair would’ve been slower, anyway.
“All right.” Nurse carefully removed her hoof. “As long as you’re slow and careful. Your leg’s still not ready to bear any weight.”
“I got it, so long as the major doesn't expect a song-and-dance routine when we get home.”
Nurse grinned. “I wouldn’t suggest it, no.”
“Maybe if she’s the one dancing,” Careful Watch added. “Regardless, though, she's waiting at Reception. You ready to go?”
“Hay yeah.” I led the way out the door, hobbling down the hallway as fast as three legs could take me. I was going. Somepony wanted me, and they were taking me home. I was more than ready. I almost made it to the end of the hall when I heard Nurse call my name.
“Sparkler?” She called, probably not for the first time. I guess I hadn’t heard her through the excitement. She pointed over his shoulder. “Reception is this way.”
Right. I hobbled back over to her and Clear Watch, blushing at the grins they were trying and failing to hide. We waited for Nurse to get my stuff off of the nightstand before I decided to let them lead the way through the maze of halls.
We made it to the front in good enough time, I guess, although things started to drag after the fourth corner. Looking back on it, the whole trip probably hadn’t taken more than five or ten minutes, but … it’s hard to explain. It’s like waiting to get out of class on the last day before summer, or looking for a bathroom when you really, really have to pee; the more I looked forward to something and the closer I got, the more time just kind of did its own thing. By the time we finally made it to reception, I’d swear up and down that Nurse’s mane had grown since we’d left my room.
I got ahead of myself again and started looking around even before Nurse started talking. I dunno what I was looking for, really—I knew who was taking me home, sure, but there were a lot of ponies in here. Nopony was wearing armor, and the only pegasus I could see was some grey-coated mare at the counter.
Nurse gave me a gentle nudge, making me jump a little. I followed where her hoof was pointing, to one of the seat-cushions further back. The guardsmare from the other day was there—out of her armor, obviously, and sitting against the wall, her eyes locked on the crowd. As soon as she saw me, though, she got up and made a beeline for me.
I limped right over too, Nurse beside me to give me a bit of a buffer on my right side. I guess she was just making sure nopony bumped my cast, because when she stopped it wasn’t as crowded around me. That just left me and the guardsmare, face-to-face.
She looked like she was getting a read of me, but since she’d already talked to me, I think she was just waiting for me to say something. I’d waited years for this, run through everything I wanted to say to the pony that was thinking of taking me home.
So naturally, at that point, everything kind of came out at once in a big jumble.
“Hey … um, I’m—well, you know who I am, so there’s that out of the way. We talked a bit I guess, but kinda about … yeah, um, can we talk about something else? I like reading, and I’m good with kids or on my own, and I’m a natural at the three-legged race and … um… I’m just gonna shut up now.” Worst. Introduction. Ever. Of all time. The fact that we’d already met didn’t really count. “S’good to see you again, Missus Nimbus.”
She had this weird kind of half-smile on her face which probably meant she was trying not to laugh at me too hard. My brain seemed to enjoy embarrassing me in front of new ponies. “I recommend sticking with ‘Hi, Mom.’ It’ll help things flow a little more smoothly.”
“Yeah, d’probably help wouldn’t it?” I grinned awkwardly. “So, um, I finished up the paperwork with Careful Watch. I guess … this is it, huh?”
That profound statement earned me a patient nod. “This is. Everything’s in place for me to take you home, so at this juncture, it hinges on you. Do you have any questions before we go, any personal effects to pick up?”
“Nurse has my stuff already. S’not much, just a couple of pictures. The books belong to the hospital, but they already took those back.” I thought for a minute about what I wanted to ask her. The first thing was the most obvious, but for some reason, it still took a second to come to me. “I saw another name on the paperwork—Tornado Kicker, right? Is that my … my other mom, my other dad?”
“My husband, yes. He’ll be meeting us at home, along with your sister.”
My ears perked at that. “You guys have a kid?”
“Two of them,” she confirmed. “Alula is four, while Cloud is a lieutenant in the Guard. She’s on assignment with the Long Patrol right now—otherwise, she’d be at home to meet you with the others.”
I was getting two sisters? And not just that, but one of them was older, too? Awesome! It sounded like she wouldn’t be around as much, which sucked a bit, but still. Having always been the old kid in Rod’s home, it was kind of weird to think about.
I think Missus Nimbus saw the gears grinding in my head, because her grin got a little bigger as she continued: “There are also my nieces, Storm and Star. They’re both cadets at West Hoof.”
And cousins! Holy hay had I ever hit the jackpot. My mind scrambled, trying to remember the other family member she’d mentioned the last time we talked. “Are they the head-doc’s kids? Er, sorry—you mentioned your sister-in-law was a psychologist...”
I kicked myself for that; I’d never really trusted the shrinks with Foal Services, but it looked like that was something I was going to have to get over. In their defense, though, the last time I’d talked to one was when Rumpy, Katydid and me first moved in with Rod.
“Wind, yes.” Missus Nimbus's voice snapped me out of that thought before I could worry about it too much. “She’s Tor’s sister, and she’s with the High Shadowvar, Typhoon Season.”
Whoa. I guess that was karma for the whole ‘head-doc’ thing, because … damn. Rod had paid lip service more to the Cult of Sol Invictus than the Cult of Shadow, but I knew enough about how both of them were set up to know that ponies pretty much have to go all-in to even get close to High Shadowvar.
At that point, I just stopped trying to contain myself. No two ways about it, my jaw hit the ground. And, no two ways about it, Missus Nimbus's smile got bigger. “You’ve just become part of a very large clan.”
“Yeah, no kidding. I know there’s a ton of Kickers, but … wow. A Shadowvar, a psychologist, and a major.” I paused, then grinned again as my mind took that lineup to it's logical conclusion. “Now we just need a bar to walk into.”
That actually got a chuckle out of her. “Not for another eight years, Sparkler.”
“Yes, Mom,” I said, dutifully drawing it out in a fake whine. We both got a good laugh out of that. Then we both stopped laughing; I guess we were thinking the same thing, about what I’d just called her. She smiled and gave me a small nuzzle. It felt … good.
“Well then,” she said as I nuzzled her back. “Anything else before we go?”
I was about to shake my head no, about to walk out with her and head home with a smile when I heard a voice. Nopony I knew, just a little unicorn filly squealing as she ran out from a hallway. She and some white unicorn barrelled past us, making a beeline for that pegasus mare I’d seen earlier at the counter. That little kid went past me, and it all came crashing down.
“Yeah,” I answered dully, the smile gone from my face. “There were … uh, there’re two other kids here I know. Can I see ‘em one more time?”
I could hear voices on the other side of the door.
I’d been down this way at least three times a week since I’d checked in here; Nurse had always let Rumpy and Katydid come and see me, until I’d become strong enough to make my way to see them. Once I’d hit that milestone, we’d traded off—one day I’d come and visit them, while the next they’d come to me. Nurse had helped me along, too. Probably to help me stay in shape or something like that, although his smile had always been as wide as any of ours when we got together.
Now? Here I was, one more time. It just felt like another visit, new voices or not. Gods, nothing felt different at all. Here I was, for the umpteen-dozenth time, to go in and see Rumpy and Katydid. Read, play a board game, snuggle, whatever the hay they wanted to do, really, so long as we could just hang out again.
And then that’d be it.
It’d always been a risk, living in a foster care system, but the adults that had come in had always passed us over in favor of the other kids. We’d always been able to stay together, enough that we’d just started taking it for granted that even here, even in the hospital, I could go back to my room and know that we’d see each other tomorrow.
The promise of tomorrow had been the biggest thing that’d kept me going—every talk with the shrinks, or with Careful Watch. Every talk, poke, prod, stitch, or x-ray that I’d gone through, ending the day with Rumpy and Katydid’d been what made it worthwhile. Suck it up, get through the day, answer the questions, go through the therapies, see them.
Now it was over, and I was going back. Well, not back, just … going. And here I was, at their door, like I had been for gods-knows-how-many days beforehoof. And here I was, at the door, one last time. It’s hard to put into words: just a door, for just a day for just a kid in just a hospital, on just a day that most ponies probably wouldn’t even think about by the end of the year. It was funny, in a sick kind of way; nopony’d give a flying feather about today except for me, ‘cause they’d never remember it, and I’d never forget it.
The day I walked through that door for my last visit. So long as I didn’t walk through the door, stayed outside and didn’t go in, I’d always have one more visit to look forward to. Of course, that wasn’t gonna happen no matter how much I wanted it to. Missus Nimbus cleared her throat, snapping me back to reality.
I half-turned to her, not really wanting to face her. “Hey, um ... I'll just be a few minutes.”
“I'll be here,” Missus Nimbus said. I really wanted—I don’t know, a hug, a nuzzle, a pat on the shoulder, any kind of contact. I wanted something, just something to help me walk through that door. But she gave me this look that’s … it’s a little hard to describe. It was just a small nod, but it exuded this quiet confidence, that she knew I could do this.
It reminded me of Nurse, a little bit: watching me, and letting me take my own steps. Neither mare held my hoof the whole way, but I knew neither of them would let me fall.
I stepped up to the door, but didn’t go in—not just yet. I just sat back and watched for a second, my brain burning every last memory of Katydid and Rumpy into my mind. We’d been together for as long as Katydid could remember. Hay, she’d barely been more than a foal when we’d made the move to Rod’s house. Screw genetics, I was her big sister. Rumpy’s too, even if he came into the picture a little later.
Usually, kids in foster care can’t get too attached to each other. It’s not that we don’t care about each other, it’s just that sometimes we just didn’t get the time—and worse, even if we did, somepony could come in the next day and adopt them away from us. I’d lost count of all of the kids that had come and gone over the years, from foals Katydid’s age to colts and fillies just a year or two younger than me. Some of ‘em had been gone after a few months, while every once in a while there’d be a kid that would only be in a few weeks.
And then there were the kids like us. I’d heard somewhere that foster kids spend an average of two years waiting to be taken home, but Katydid had been just a foal when my first caretaker had brought her in six years back, and I’d already been in the system for nearly as long. The two of us, brought into the system as newborns? Hay yeah we’d bonded like glue.
Rumpy … it was kind of mean to say, but nopony ever seemed to want him. He’d always been wound up like a cheap watch, and even without a horn or wings, he’d caused more than enough damage in his time. Vases, pictures, tables, even a couch at one point. He’d cooled off as he’d grown out of that ultra-loud and ultra-hyperactive phase all little colts seem to go through—or at least, grown out of it a bit. He was only nine, so he still had a lot more growing to do before he’d chill out enough for more adults to really look at him.
The way I’d seen things go, most adults either wanted a kid that was young enough for them to make into whatever they wanted—but not too young, since if they didn’t want to skip the poopy diapers and stuff, they probably just would’ve done the deed themselves—or else old enough to skip the ‘blasting-through-the-house-at-a-million-miles-an-hour-shrieking-at-the-top-of-their-lungs’ phase. Some adults didn’t mind, but they were more the exception to the rule. So … yeah. It’d been the three of us in Rod’s house, brother and sisters because of how the dice fell.
But not anymore.
I took a deep breath and walked in.
Rumpy and Katydid were both there, along with a few adults I didn’t recognize. One of ‘em was a mare I’d seen talking to Careful Watch in the hallway a few times, so she was probably another social worker. She was sitting off to the side, writing something down on a clipboard and doing her best to just be in the background. The other pony in the room was a charcoal-colored pegasus stallion with a fuschia mane, curled up with Katydid in one hoof and a book in the other.
I did a double-take at the third adult, the one sitting with Rumpy. I’d never seen a gryphon before, at least not for real. Sure, I’d seen pictures of them, and even a few skeletons when we’d gone to the museum with Rod, but seeing a live one up close is something totally different. He was huge, a big, brown body larger than Missus Nimbus, piercing yellow eyes set into a tan head, and talons the size of hedge clippers. What really threw me off, though, was what he was doing: everything about him screamed ‘predator’ to me, but there he sat, helping Rumpy sew up a doll. Claws that could probably rip a real otter in half were guiding a needle through Katydid’s stuffed animal while Rumpy held it together for him.
“Zere,” the gryphon said. “I sink ve’ll need more stuffing for ze belly before it’s done, but ve can pick zat up later.”
Katydid’s ears perked, her book instantly forgotten. “Is Skipper okay now?”
“Not yet, Katy,” Rumpy grumbled, brushing a lock of his messy brown mane out of his face. “I toldja, he’ll be done when we’re done.”
The pegasus gave Katydid an encouraging little nuzzle. “Patience, all right? Daddy Stormfall’s helping him fix it, but fixing things by hoof takes time.”
“Fiiiiiiiine,” Katydid huffed. “S’just that Skipper’s been all—SPARKY!” She leapt out of the stallion’s forelegs when she saw me, and came at me at a dead gallop. I barely had time to catch her, and about lost my balance seeing that I had to catch her with just one foreleg.
Rumpy’s ears perked too, although he stayed where he was with the gryphon. “Sparky! Hey, lookit!” He nuzzled the gryphon, who returned it with a weird kind of beak-kiss that would’ve been totally creepy if it weren’t so gentle. “We got dads now, and we’re going home!”
“Yup yup yup!” Katydid hugged my good leg. “Mister Careful said we’re going home with ‘em, so they’re gonna be our daddies now! And we’re aaaaaaaall gonna be okay.”
And there was the knife to my gut. Just … gods. Damn. It. I held a smile as best I could, fighting to keep a smile on my face. Yeah. We were all gonna be okay, and we were all gonna go home. I draped my bad arm over her back in an awkward hug; to hay with healing it, the docs could cut it off if it meant that we could all go to the same home. “Sorry about the wonky hug. I’d give you the full deal, but…”
“It’s okay. I'll just hug you twice as much!” She ran her turquoise muzzle across my cast, then tugged it to pull me over to Rumpy and the adults. It made my arm twinge a bit, but she was careful not to pull too hard. Or, at least as careful as an excited five-year-old can be. “Mister Careful Watch says that a whole buncha ponies’ve been trying to take us home ever since we got here. Cool, huh? But it’s even cooler, yup, yup, yup it is! ‘Cause Mistah Silver’s been watching us, and he’s a pony, but he’s married to Mistah Stormfall, and he’s a gryphon!”
Rumpy rolled his eyes at her grasp of the obvious. “No duh, Katy. I think the paws and talons kinda gave it away.”
Said talons gave Rumpy a small pat on his shoulder. “She ees simply excited, Rhumpus. No need to be cross.”
“Yup, yup, yup!” Katydid chimed. “Don’t be a grumpy Rumpy, or you’ll get frumpy from being down in the dumpy!” She giggled, ignoring Rumpy’s annoyed look at the overused rhyme. “Miss Clear Mind's been working with 'em, ‘cause they've been wanting kids and stuff, so they're gonna be our daddies now! So … I guess it’s not ‘Mistah’ anymore, ‘cause they’re Daddy Stormfall and Daddy Silver! C’mon, Sparky!”
The knife in my gut turned again as she hopped up on the bed. Gods, I just couldn’t bring myself to take that smile off of her face. Missus Nimbus … she seemed cool. Like, really, really cool, but right then, some part of me just wanted her to fade away into the background. Katy and Rumpy both turned to look at me, putting me smack in the spotlight.
Gods damn it all.
Damn the foster system. Everything that it had done for me and them fell by the wayside, just became an afterthought. School? Feather it. Food? Feather it. Roof over my head? Feather it. Rumpy and Katydid? Feather Foal Services. Feather it, and every last single pony in it for putting me with a bunch of kids—kids I could tuck in for the night, only to find them gone forever when I woke up the next morning.
I hated it. I hated the whole damn mess—I probably always would, even to my dying day—for giving me a little brother and little sister, letting me get close to them and letting me dare to open up to them, just so I could have it all torn away from me today.
But they were going home. Together, even, and with two parents—a married couple, so no way they’d ever have to worry about being bedwarmers for some lonely pony. They were gonna get to stay together and keep being each other’s brother and sister. I was happy for ‘em. I kept telling myself that, and I even believed it. I was happy. I was happy that Rumpy and Katydid found not one, but two new dads to care for them. I was happy that they could stay together. I was happy that they could go home.
I was happy for them.
“Great,” I murmured. Murmured happily. Murmured as I looked at the happy husbands, now the happy dads to my brother and sister. “Take care of ‘em, yeah? They’re good kids.”
I think Stormfall knew where this was going to go; the claw over Rumpy’s shoulder tightened a bit, protectively. “It goes visout sayink. Silver und I vould not treat zem differently if we had sired zem ourselves.”
Rumpy snerked, and quickly looked down at Katydid’s stuffed otter. More than anything, I wanted him to shut up right there before he ruined things for him and Katy.
Too late. Silver didn’t miss the noise any more than I did, arched an eyebrow at him. “Rumpus?” He asked in a tone far more patient than I would have had if I’d said anything. “Something funny?”
Rumpy went quiet, his eyes fixed on the stuffed animal. “He just talks kind of weird, is all.”
Gods.
Damn.
It.
Rumpy.
For once in my life, I prayed to Celestia and whatever other gods might be out there that he would not screw this up for them both. One stupid remark was all it would take to get these guys to decide that he was too much damn trouble, or that he was too bratty, or hyper, or … I don’t know, something. Whatever it was that made all those other adults not want to take us home with them. Or worse—what if they’d already signed the paperwork, and he’d just made them mad? They couldn’t back out now, but if he pissed them off and they decided to take him to another room for a lesson...
I winced as Stormfall’s foreclaw moved towards Rumpy’s, and almost got ready to cast a spell. I didn’t even know what kind of spell, it wasn’t like the last time we’d seen Rod; I didn’t have anything to throw at them, or know anything that could do more than push him away.
In hindsight, it was a good thing I was too caught up in that memory to do anything. I almost did it—almost ruined it for both of the before even Rumpy could. What stopped me was Stormfall’s good-natured chuckle. I just didn’t expect it. At all. He had more patience for Rumpy’s dumbflankery than I’d seen from ponies in a long, long time, especially when he was being dumb about how they’d talk. He gave Rumpy another beak-kiss that was—and there’s really no other way to say it—fatherly. “Perhaps I vill tell you vhy I talk so differently, jah? It’s part of my heritage. You're becoming part of a large und very olt family.”
Silver and I traded a quick look, and I felt my ears flatten against my head. Lucky for us—or unlucky, I wasn’t quite sure which—Katydid beat us to the punch. She pulled me closer to Stormfall, this time guiding me with my good foreleg. “Ooooh, cool! C'mon, Sparky! Daddy Stormfall's got the best stories! And we can hear all about ‘em on the way home!”
Home. Where was home for them? Hopefully it wouldn’t be too far away; I knew the Kickers had set up shop in Canterlot, so maybe if Stormfall and his husband lived nearby, they could—
“Yeah!” Rumpy nodded. “Dad Stormfall and Dad Silver live in Manehatten. Manehattan! How cool's that?!”
—take them halfway across Equestria. I felt my ears droop against my head. “Oh. You guys are moving all the way out there?”
“We all are! Duh!” Katydid giggled, twisting the knife that was by now firmly lodged in my gut.
Even though he was a gryphon, it wasn’t hard for me to read the regret in his eyes. “Jah. Silver received a job offer months ago.”
Silver nodded, a hoof joining his husband’s foreclaw on Rumpy’s shoulder. “We were able to hold off long enough to go through with the adoption, but the window’s starting to close on it. A little after it’s finalized, we’ll be going.”
I couldn’t keep the smile on my face anymore, and let it fall. “Oh,” I murmured, doing everything I could to keep my voice even. “S’cool. I bet they'll love Manehatten.”
“We all will,” Rumpy said obliviously. “'Cause it's cool.”
Katydid, however, didn’t quite miss the little break in my voice. “Whatcha mean?”
I grinned to her—or, at least, I showed my teeth. “Whaddaya mean ‘What do I mean?’”
“We're all gonna love Manehattan, 'cause you're coming with us, duh!”
Silver and Stormfall glanced to each other, bracing for the hurricane. “Katydid, sweetheart…”
Rumpy looked back at him. “What? She's coming with us, 'cause we've always been together.”
“Katy... Rumpy…” I had a hard time seeing them all of the sudden, and fought the instinct to wipe my eyes. “I'm not comin’ with you. I got adopted by somepony else, and she lives here.”
And there it was—the realization hit them like a slap to the face. What I’d known since I walked in the door dawned on them, shattering their dreams like a cheap window.
“N-no…” Katydid looked up at me. It was still sinking in for her.
Not so much for Rumpy. “NO!” he screamed, desperately latching onto my leg. “We're staying together! We've always been together!”
“R-relax, you'll be fine. Okay? You two're good k.. you’re good kids, n’you've got a couple of awesome new dads.” I hugged both of them, nuzzling Rumpy’s mane so I wouldn’t have to face them.
Warm plips fell onto my shoulder as Rumpy started whimpering, but Katydid was even worse. I couldn’t stop myself from glancing at her, and gods damn it if she still just didn’t get it. She was just staring up at me, head tilted against my chest as she tried to make sense of it all. “But we’ve always been together,” she said. “Yup, yup, yup, we always have! None of the other kids stayed, but you and Rumpy did, and we’re together.”
“Y-yeah. And you and Rumpy are gonna stay together, forever. So be good, okay? N’Rumpy … be .. be nice to Katy, mm? You’re the big brother now.”
“No!” Rumpy screamed again. “I don’t wanna be the big brother, ‘cause you’re the big kid! I wanna stay with you!”
He latched onto me, hugging my cast way too tight. Fire ran up my arm, and I almost threw up from the pain. “OW! Rumpy, ow!”
“Rhumpus!” Stormfall barked. “You’re hurtink her!” He and Silver had stayed back for the talk, but now he stepped in faster than I thought possible. He quickly pried Rumpy’s arms off of my foreleg, quickly but carefully arcing his talons so he didn’t cut Rumpy’s arm as he pulled him away. Rumpy struggled and latched back onto me, wailing as he buried his face into my chest.
“H-hey, hey—it’s okay,” I told him, even though my arm still hurt like hell. “You're okay. It’s o-okay, I promise. C'mon, you … you’ve got dads, now. So that’s cool, right?”
Rumpy shook his head. “I don't wanna leave you! M'sorry, okay? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I’m sorry I broke Katy’s doll, and got your arm hurt, and—and whatever else! Whatever I did I'm sorry, just don't leave!”
Oh gods, he thought I was leaving to get back at him—and worse, Katydid was starting to get upset too, now. I nuzzled him again as I desperately tried to think of what to say to them. “You didn't do anything wrong, okay? Either of you. You're good kids.” I gently rocked them both, hugging them against me. “You're good kids, and you'll be okay without me.”
This time, it was Katydid that shook her head. “Nuh-uh. No, nope, nope, nope! You gotta come with us, 'cause you're our big sister!”
“I want to, Katy. Promise, I really do. But I gotta stay here w-with … with my new mom. S'just how it is.” I nuzzled her, somehow. My eyes were stinging too much for me to really see much. “Doesn't mean I don't love you. Both of you. I'll love you forever.”
“Then I don’t wanna go!” Rumpy screamed. “I don’t wanna go with ‘em if you can’t come, ‘cause I want you to stay with me and Katy! I don’t wanna go, I don’t wanna go, I DON’T WANNA GO I DON’T WANNA GO I DON’T WANNA GOOOO!!”
Stormfall stepped forward again, settling his foreclaws on Rumpy’s shoulder. “Rhumpus ... son.” He paused, as if trying the word out. “My son. Ve vould take Sparkler too, if ve could. Jah?” He gave Rumpy another beak-kiss. “I promise, ve vould if ve could. But she's going to anozzer home because anozzer pony found her, und loves her very dearly.”
Silver nodded, not quite hiding a sniffle as he settled in with Katydid. “We’re only moving; I’ll make sure she gets our new address, all right?” He paused, then nuzzled her. “And she’ll always be your sister, no matter where you live.”
“Please,” Rumpy whispered. The last shreds of fight were draining out of him, spent from screaming. All he could do now was plead. “I w-w-want you t’live with us. Please. I love you ... please don't go. Please. Please.”
“I love you forever, Rumpy. But I have to.” Part of me died a little, saying that. I kept rocking them, holding my brother and sister close one last time. Finally—eventually—their crying died down. Silver gently pulled them both away, hugging them to his chest and rocking them like I had. I heard him singing a quiet little lullaby as his husband put a comforting paw on my shoulder.
“Forgive me, “ Stormfall murmured, “but now is ze time to go. Ze longer you stay, ze harder it vill be.”
I nodded as he led me to the door. I didn’t dare look back. If I did, I probably never would have left that room. Missus Nimbus was right outside waiting for us; she put a hoof on my shoulder, taking over from Stormfall as the two of them talked to each other for a bit. They were probably trading addresses or something like that, but truth be told, I didn’t really hear ‘em. Hay, I didn’t even realize they’d finished until Missus Nimbus nudged me, bringing my attention back to them.
I looked up at the gryphon. He was still hard as ever for me to read, but when he spoke, he sounded … almost heartbroken, really
“Be vell, child. Your bruzzer und sister are in good hooves.”
I nodded. He went back in, and Missus Nimbus guided me out before I could follow him.
Things were a bit of a blur, after that. Leaving the hospital, saying goodbye to Clear Watch and Nurse, making our way through the streets of Canterlot to my new home. Or, I guess Missus Nimbus made the way, and I just kind of followed. We walked … hay, I didn’t really pay attention; it probably hadn’t been more than half an hour, at the most, although for all I knew it might as well have been forever.
I was going home. Home, away from Rod forever, and the Foal Services system. Home, to a new family—a mom, a dad … a real dad, one I wouldn’t have to gauge day-to-day. Cousins, an aunt and uncle. And sisters, too.
Siblings. New siblings. That was just it, though: I looked back a few times on the trip.
I had to stop a couple of times to rest my hooves—walking with one hoof off the ground puts a lot more strain on the other three. I didn’t want to keep Missus Nimbus waiting too long, though, so I tried to get back up and going as soon as I felt rested enough to keep going. This was a lot more walking than I’d done since checking into the hospital, and even with Nurse’s exercises, I hadn’t gone much further than going to and from Katy and Rumpy’s ward. My hooves were a lot sorer than they should’ve been, all things considered.
Missus Nimbus stuck by me, and after the second stop, she took my hooves in her forelegs and did some weird kind of pressure-point thing. It wasn’t much, just a few pokes near my fetlocks, but whatever she did, it helped enough to keep me going until we reached her place.
Or, at least her clan’s compound. The place looked like an old school military fort that’d had a bunch of homes built up inside the walls. They were … well, homely. Not to say that they were ugly or anything, but they definitely didn’t measure up to a lot of the buildings surrounding the compound, or elsewhere in the city. All of the colors and fancy designs and stuff gave way to red sandstone and buildings that, while not exactly architectural artworks, looked a lot more survivable if they were caught in a storm or siege. Which fit, I guess—it’s probably what they’d been designed for. My read on them was eerily like the read I’d gotten from Missus Nimbus, really—nothing overly fancy, but it didn’t need to be to get the job done.
And there were the ponies. Holy hay, the ponies! I’d seen a lot of ponies together before at parades and whatnot, but they’d all been strangers. These ponies? They were all one huge family. A lot of the ponies here were dressed in red armor—the traditional color of Kicker armor, from way back before the founding of Equestria. Some of them shifted to or from the gold color of the Guard armor as they went on or off duty, but a lot of ‘em were just hanging around the place—hanging out, talking, laughing, even sparring in one corner that had so many protective wards and glyphs that I could sense them all the way from the gate.
I slowed down again, this time taking a bit to just drink in the sights. Missus Nimbus was right beside me, so I didn’t need to worry about walking into a pole or anything like that—and all things considered, I probably would have. As it turned out, a pole to the face would’ve been embarrassing, but comparatively less painful than what actually happened.
I slowed down to watch a pair of ponies in the sparring ring—and holy hay were they going at it. A unicorn and a pegasus were going all-out at each other. The unicorn’s horn was a blur of light as she tossed spell after spell at her partner, but the pegasus dodged and countered with some of the coolest hoof-to-hoof fighting I’d ever seen. Granted, I didn’t have much to compare it to outside of a few scenes from Daring Do, but the pegasus took the fight and made it look like a dance. Problem was, they were on one side of the compound, and I was at the other. I instinctively took a step towards them to try and get a better view, and instantly regretted it as tripped, landing full on my cast.
That hurt. It hurt a lot.
No two ways about it, I screamed. Fire shot up my leg again as my elbow buckled. Missus Nimbus moved faster than I thought possible for a pony, her forehooves shooting out to grab me and guiding me to the ground. I felt her wing settle over me, shielding me from the view of everypony that heard me cry out. I was grateful for it, but also embarrassed; the small part of me that wasn’t bogged down by how much my arm hurt realized that the first thing everypony in my new family would remember about me would be some simpering little wimp in the courtyard.
My face burned as I tried not to cry. Missus Nimbus's wing never left me, hiding me until my sobbing had died down to a quiet sniffle. She wiped my eyes with a forehoof, then stood up and helped me do the same. Then, with her wing a little more firmly around me, she helped me double-time it out of there, bypassing the crowd of ponies even as they went back to whatever they were doing.
Luckily for me, her house wasn’t too far away. It was bigger than most of the other houses, and unlike a lot of the other buildings around, it wasn’t painted—it was bigger than most of the other houses, and it looked different from a lot of the other ones around it, like it was a lot older than the others. It wasn’t painted red like a lot of the other ones, the stones it was built out of seemed to be that color naturally.
Missus Nimbus held the door for me, but she’d barely let go of it when I heard an all-too-familiar sound: a set of tiny little hooves barreling down the hallway. A pale yellow filly, even younger than Katydid, scampered down the hallway, wings and mane flapping behind her as she homed in on the pony of the moment: “Mommy!”
Missus Nimbus trotted to meet her, but the filly stopped cold and back-tracked, circling back behind her mother. I managed not to laugh as she hid her head behind Missus Nimbus's hindleg, never mind the fact that the rest of her body was sticking out behind her. She very, very slowly peeked around, eyeing me up from a safe distance.
This would be easy. It took a little work with three hooves, but I managed to lie down on my stomach, bringing my head more-or-less to eye level with her. It was something I’d figured out a long time ago, when new kids had come to stay with us in Rod’s house: the smaller you make yourself, the less threatening you look to a small kid who didn’t know you. “Hey,” I said, smiling as my mind scrambled to remember her name. “You’re Alula, right?”
The filly nodded, and ever-so-slowly peeked out a bit more, brushing her purple mane out of her eyes to get a better look at me. She looked up at Missus Nimbus, who offered an encouraging nod. Thus empowered, she poked her head out a little more.
“Hey,” I said again. Gods, she was adorable. It hurt a little bit to think about, but I couldn’t help but chuckle as I remembered that this was how Rumpy had always introduced himself when ponies came by. So shy. “I’m Sparkler. Your...” Well, she wasn’t just her mom anymore. “Mom brought me home. She’s adopted me, and I’m you’re new big sister.”
“Hi,” she murmured. Slowly but surely, she made her way out from behind Missus Nimbus and walked to me, looking back once in a while, as if making sure her—well, our—mother were still there, as if she’d mysteriously disappear while her back was turned. With another encouraging nod from Missus Nimbus, she toddled over to me.
I kept up my best smile as she made her way to me. She took her time, like Rumpy used to, circling between Missus Nimbus's legs before braving the open room. She looked me over, although her eyes kept coming back to my cast. “What happened?”
Boy, how to answer that one? Given her age, I figured it was probably not a good idea to start things off with the whole truth, but on the other hoof, it was kind of the elephant in the room. One good thing about small kids: they just ask the awkward questions up-front, and get them out of the way. I thought for a second, then answered her. “Somepony hurt me, but a bunch of guards like Mom made sure he won’t do it anymore.”
“Oh.” That seemed to be enough to satisfy her. She stared at it a bit longer, as if trying to figure out what to make of it. “Can I draw on it?”
Guess that answered that. “Yeah, sure. Just not too hard, okay? It still kinda hurts.”
“‘Kay.” She got up and went for her drawing supplies, looking a lot less like she’d jump back behind Missus Nimbus if I sneezed the wrong way.
As she made her way out, though, somepony called from the other room in a deep baritone voice. “Is that you, Nim?” My mind raced, scrambling to remember his name from the paperwork.
“Yes,” Missus Nimbus said. “I'm here with Sparkler.”
The other pony trotted in, and this time it was my turn to hide behind Missus Nimbus. I didn’t really think about what I was doing until I’d already scuttled behind her, but between the sheer size of him and what had happened the last time I’d faced a stallion in his own home … well, it was hard not to flash back a bit. The stallion that walked through the door was huge—easily as toned as Missus Nimbus, and tall enough that that it looked like he was in danger of hitting his head on the doorway. Granted, he wasn’t actually that big, but from my position on the floor, I might as well have been staring up at Princess Celestia.
Tornado blinked, and did the same thing I did, crouching down to my level and offering a warm smile. “Hello, Sparkler,” he said in a much softer tone. “Welcome home.”
“Hey.” Much like she’d done with Alula, Missus Nimbus gently nudged me towards him—being that bastion of strength and support I needed, but still making me face my fears. I gulped and scooted towards him, sitting up a little. “M’Sparkler. You’re … you’re Dad, then?”
“When last I checked,” he said with a small grin. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“Yeah, you too.” I saw Alula scrambling to get into a drawer, then emerge with some crayons. Her gait on the way back cracked me up, the way she tilted her head back to try and see over the box in her mouth. “She’s cute, you know that?”
Tornado smiled fondly as he followed my gaze. “Yeah, she is. She’s our baby girl.” He sat down beside me, with Missus Nimbus on the other side; they both extended a wing over my back, interlocking them like a big, downy blanket. It felt nice. Really nice, and not just because it was warm. That hug spelled everything to me: comfort, security, togetherness.
Family.
I smiled a bit wider as I mulled that over, and looked up at Tornado. “So, Mom’s a major … I'm gonna go out on a crazy limb and guess you're in the Guard too?”
“I am,” Tornado said, pulling Alula into his forelegs, letting her shift so she could start doodling on my cast. “I’m a Lieutenant Commander.”
“Kinda like Cloudy,” Alula chimed in, “‘cept she’s just a loo-tender.” She frowned pensively, and started drawing a lavender pegasus. “I miss Cloudy.”
“Cloudy, huh?” I nuzzled her, knowing all too well how she felt. “Our big sister? I’ve heard a bit about her. Is she gonna be home soon?”
Missus Nimbus shook her head. “She’s with the Long Patrol right now; she wanted to come home when she heard about you, but it’ll be another few weeks before she can make it back.”
“Oh.” I was a bit bummed, but I guess it worked well enough: it’d give me a bit of time to just settle in with Alula and my new parents before throwing too many more faces into the mix. I shrugged, and nestled a little closer to Tornado. “I guess that’s something to look forward to.”
Tornado nodded. “I think you’ll like Cloud, and her wife.”
“Wait, she’s married?” I knew I was getting an older sister, but I didn’t think she was that old. Having been the big sister for all of my life—well, all of it that I could remember—I’d been looking forward to getting one myself. I was a little disappointed that Cloud wouldn’t be around as much, but on the other hoof, she was married. Two for one, I guess.
“She married her childhood sweetheart three months after graduation,” Missus Nimbus said with a nod, and got up to grab a photograph off of the wall. Front and center were two mares, both pegasi—one lavender, with a blonde mane, while the other had a pink mane and canary-yellow coat. “That’s your sister, there,” Missus Nimbus said, pointing to the former pony. “And her wife, Fluttershy; Tornado, of course, and me, with a little extra.” She smiled wistfully, stroking Alula’s mane with a free hoof. Even though she was in the background, it wasn’t hard to see Missus Nimbus with a fairly large baby bump.
“I du’t ‘membuh it,” Alula murmured between her crayon.
That got a laugh out of Tornado. “I’d hope not, even if you were there in part.” He and Nimbus shared a chuckle as he pointed out a few of the other ponies in the pictures. “These two are Cloud and Fluttershy’s old friends, and their bridesmaids: Rainbow Dash—she’s in the Patrol now, too—and Ditzy Doo.”
I did a double-take as I recognized Ditzy. She’d been the grey mare back in the hospital! I guess she’d been too tied up with her kid to say hi to Missus Nimbus, and vice versa. “Huh. Cool.” Small city, I guess. “More ponies to meet later, by the sounds of it. But later.”
Missus Nimbus nodded. “You have enough family to meet as it is without being overwhelmed. Storm and Star are already bursting with curiosity about you.”
“Yeah, me too,” I said. “Tomorrow, though. I think I got enough to absorb as it is.”
Tornado grunted. “Better brace yourself. Those two will bombard you with questions, then probably try to make you pick a side in their eternal war of sibling rivalry.”
Missus Nimbus's pained groan got a laugh out of me. “Okay, now I really want to meet them.”
“We can go over to Wind's tomorrow, then,” Tornado said. “Luckily they're on break.”
It would be my luck that even my new cousins wouldn’t be around much. Still, Alula would be around, and our parents too, so it wouldn’t be all bad. “Guess I can get to know them off and on, at least.” I nuzzled Alula, then grinned as the long-dormant mischievous gears began turning in my mind. “So ... should I just play each of them against the other when the three of us aren't bonding together?”
This time, the adults groaned in unison. “No,” Tornado said, “they do quite enough of that on their own.”
“Aw, but Daaad.” I milked the fake whine for all it was worth. “Just think of the fun we could have with it.”
“Trust me, after the thirtieth time you hear them bickering with each other…”
“At least we always get a free show when they come over for dinner,” Nimbus agreed.
Yeah. It was official: I was gonna like those two.
Any further plotting was cut off by Alula. “Cloudy’s always really nice to me,” she said. “Not all arguey like they get.”
“Yeah?” I nuzzled her again. “Well, I promise to be really nice too.”
The rest of the day blended together in my memory.
It wasn’t like the walk home, where there’s a big gap—just the opposite. I remember everything about that day perfectly: learning about my immediate family, my extended family, the family friends, the carrot casserole for dinner, the family history—and gods, there was so much history! Tornado had spent hours telling me about his—my—gah, our family history, from the old days of Pegasopolis to the Lunar Rebellion, and so, so much more. I could tell he had to pick and choose from the biggest bits, and even then I’d have to come back later for more.
He’d just gotten to one of the best parts when Missus Nimbus pointed out that the sun had gone down hours ago. It was way past Alula’s bedtime, and—adoption or not—probably getting close to theirs as well. She reminded me that we could pick up the next day, and that they had a ton of books on pretty much everything anyway.
Alula’s ears perked up, rousing her from the half-comatose state kids pretend not to be in when they’re trying to stay up late, and asked if she could pick a book. None of us thought anything of it when she asked, so we settled down on the couch while Alula picked out a story to read.
She toddled over to the shelf and picked out Young Daring Do and the Adamant Triskelion. Katydid’s favorite.
It all just kind of hit me at once, after that. Tornado got about as far in as the third page, and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I hobbled down the hallway, not really sure where I was going in this new house, and stumbled into the first room that I came across.
It was a bedroom. It was dark. The door closed behind me. That was all I needed.
I grabbed a pillow and screamed into it, half-falling onto the bed. My cast hit the side of the bed, jolting it and making me scream again. I heard Tornado saying something, his words muted by the door and the hallway I’d come down—probably talking to Alula, trying to comfort her, or explain what’d happened, like Rod had done so many times.
All the old memories came bubbling back, every breath in a foreign smell. Nothing was familiar here—it was almost close, but not quite. Alula was almost like Katydid, but different. Tornado was almost like Rod, back in his better days, but better. The room was almost like my old one, in the dark, but it didn’t smell like it.
I was with my new family, and I’d never felt more alone in my life.
I cried myself out, in that strange bed. I dunno how long it took to go from full-on howling to just a choked sob now and again. It felt like forever.
As I pulled my head back from the pillow, I felt somepony in bed with me—a large, warm body, curled around me, a wing quietly draped over me, a comforting hoof on my shoulder.
“H-hey.” I sniffed, feeling like a complete idiot. “M’s-sorry, I, I h-had to, I’m…”
Missus Nimbus let me trail off, giving my shoulder a gentle little squeeze. “What’s wrong, Sparkler?”
“I’m hu-ha-happy,” I stammered. “M’happy, ‘cause this i-is, s’everything I wanted. I’ve gotta family, n’they gotta family too, n’we’re okay, ‘cause we don’t have to be scared anymore n’I have a new babysister n’they’ve got new dads n’I’mhappycauseI’mhere…”
I couldn’t help it, I broke down again. Everything I’d said was true: we’d all been adopted, Rumpy and Katydid’d gone together—hay, they even had my address, so we could write and stay in touch and whatnot. We had families. We could be happy. I was happy.
So I kept telling myself.
Missus Nimbus propped me up, curling her arm against my head like an impromptu pillow. It felt rough, muscular, a little awkward. But she was there. No matter what else, she was there. It felt … good. Familiar, even.
It took a bit, but the more I calmed down, the more I thought about it—about that day, with Rod, and when my leg’d been shattered. Memories long suppressed by time and pain started bubbling back up to me: the pony that had pulled me away from Rod, knocked him out with a solid smack to the head. It’d taken time for the guardspony to get backup and secure the rest of the house, but after that—after that, the one pony that’d come back to me, to hold me—actually hold my other foreleg, and wiped my tears away while the first responders worked on my leg. Hey, I’d even thrown up at some point while they were working, but that presence had never gone away. That guardspony had stayed there the whole time, until I’d blacked out and woken up in the hospital.
That guardspony’d never left me, not when I needed somepony more than anything else. I hadn’t gotten the best look at her on that day, and in the dark, it was still hard to get a good look. But I didn’t need to.
“Y-you…” I was so shocked, I actually stopped crying.
“Mm?”
“You,” I said again. “That day, then I … when…”
She went silent. I think she knew I’d figured it out—anypony else would’ve asked what the hay I was talking about, but she lay there quietly, nodding as I put the pieces together.
“W-why?”
“Why what?” she asked.
“Why didn’t you tell me that you were the one th-that saved m-me? That first time you came to visit, o-or…” I cleared my throat. “Or earlier today. Why?”
She was silent for a little longer, stroking my shoulder gently. “I thought you remembered.”
I shook my head. “I d-didn’t. S’a, n-notta thing I’d want to remember…” I shivered a bit in her grasp, trying not to think too hard about it, but not really able to help it. Then, gods help me, I laughed. I couldn’t help it. “‘Course, means I, uh … I kinda puked on you, huh? Sorry.”
That got a chuckle out of both of us. “Speaking as somepony who’s had two foals, getting a little sick on me isn’t something I’ll worry about.”
We laughed again, and then I started drifting off, just utterly drained from the day. But as I started to fade to sleep, I knew I’d be okay. My family was down the hall, more would come tomorrow, and later after that, even—but that could wait.
The only thing I wanted then was for Mom to stay with me, on my first night home. And she did.
Author's Note
Thanks as always to Chengar Qordath for creating the Winningverse, and for being my ever-patient editor, collaborator and friend.
Thanks also to my friends and proofreaders: Ponibius, JaketheGinger, Trinary Shukumei, Hyperexponential, and SwiftestShadow.
And, lastly, thank you all for reading, and for your patience.
