We Stopped Checking for Monsters in the Everfree...

Everypony sat around the television, except for the children. This episode of Celestia's corner was advertised as less-than-kid friendly. The later aire-time was evidence of this, but nopony would sleep through this announcement. Ponies went to their friends' houses to see this.

"Greetings, my little ponies. I am Celestia." Princess Celestia didn't sound so... Celestia-y. She certainly sounded more motherly, and a lot more sad. She seemed to feel just as bad as the ponies at home did.

"As I warned, this episode is not for kids. Please. Send them to bed. This... Well, you'll have to explain this n your own terms..." she took a deep breath, and you could now hear the sorrow. "I have failed you. I'm so, so sorry. I... I should not have been so arrogant. Let me explain.

A few days ago, my student and her friends discovered that the crimes were based on puns. Bunday. Twosday. Mendshay. Her'sday. You see? So then, with the famous Flamables Company, it seemed obvious that the villain was going to use it in someday on Fri-day just the same as famous establishments were used.

Instead of acting as predicted, the criminal instead..." a tear slid down her face. "shot up a school full of teachers and students. There were no survivors..." Celestia paused, eyes clearly full of tears. She opened her mouth to speak, but was found herself unable to make intelligible words. "In respon---" she stopped. She sounded like a frog, and with the low quality audio of the new televisions, she knew that the ponies at home could not understand her raspy voice.

The Princess had planned for this, and so Princess Luna trotted over and took over the announcement. Celestia briefly nuzzled her sister, and then went off stage to her bedroom. Luna spoke in a quiet voice, almost a whisper. In truth, it was all she could do not to rage in frustration and destroy the Everfree. "Our subjects, please forgive Sister. She was hit hard..." Luna took a deep breath. The subjects would, and did, hate this news.

"In response to the deaths... we will enact martial law in Canterlot. To curb any criminal activity, there will be an 8 o'clock curfew in effect for the next week. Also, some citizens, particularly those with criminal associates and histories, will face searches of property... We may also, possibly, to search those known to have a degree in high explosives, known experts in toxicology, the magically gifted, and those with knowledge of high sciences. We are sorry..." You're sorry? Is that all you have to say? She knew she couldn't leave it at this, so she went on. "We are sorry that it has come to this, but we must catch this criminal, and a few injustices are a small price to pay to catch a mass murderer. Stay strong, Canterlot. We will see you again tomorrow." The program ended.

For older ponies, their emotions ran the gambit of emotions. First, a deep shock. Searches? Then to confusion. Surely, warants will be needed. Next came optimism. This is the Princess we're talking about! She wouldn't put out searches on civilians unwarranted. After all, its only explosives experts, chemists, toxicologists, scientists, and unicorns... Wait... Most ponies hid their rage with silent faith in Celestia. This faith ended when word got around about warrantless searches...

Throughout most ponies' houses, younger ponies were jumping out of their seats. "You're sorry?! YOU'RE SORRY!?" The teenagers would not have this. Very soon, a thing music genre called "Punk Rock" would be invented in response. Not that it mattered. "Dark and edgy and not-at-all-for-kids" was about to take on a new meaning anyways.