The tone sounded. "Hello! Joker here! I was originally just going to give out my demands and play chess with a corpse, but then something interesting happened..." The Joker turned the camera, until three ponies came into focus.

Though bruised, battered, and despite the fact that one seemed to have a broken leg, they seemed to be happy, considering the big smiles on their faces. They stared into the camera vacantly, silently. "Now, I know psychiatry is a profession taken up mostly by ducks, but I can't help but ask... What the hay did I do to the people?" He waved a hoof in front of them ("Hello? IRS! Open up! Well, I guess I wouldn't open to them, but still..."), but they didn't move. "I mean, yes, cheeseballs-up-the-nose will ruin anyone's day, but... Do they normally do this or did I just find the off button?" He chuckled. A mare chuckled quietly in response, while the ponies beside her just stare vacantly.

"I tried calling customer support, but..." The Joker walked up to a table and pressed a button on a tape recorder.

There was the sound of a chainsaw and a stallion's terrible, blood-curtling scream. In the background, you could hear the Joker talking over the mayhem. "Hello, hello?" The screaming and chainsawing didn't stop. "Can I... Yes, can you---?" The screaming was still going on, as the chainsaw was still going. In fact, the screaming increased as a strange crunching sound was introduced. "Do y---DOES ANYONE SPEAK EQUESTRIAN!?" The crunching reached a crescendo, and the screaming stopped. The chainsaw's soft hum was the only sound except for a quiet chuckle. The chainsaw soon turned off, and the Joker muttered to himself, "He hung up on me!"

When the tape turned off, the Joker turned away from the tape recorder, laughing loudly, and turned back to the ponies. "The full thing was funny enough to warrant it's own episode, don't you think?" The ponies didn't respond, except for one mare that chuckled. She was good at chuckling. "It's a good thing I got it all on tape!" He started laughing again, and this went on for several moments. When he finally calmed down, he handed the camera to an offscreen pony, and he came into the frame.

"Now, since I have so many guests, you know what happens next! DANCE PARTY!" Disco light turned on, along with strange technofunk. The Joker started doing old 70s dances, when two ponies fell into frame with wires attached to them. The wires soon went taut, and then they started started dancing too. It was clear now that the ponies were Rising and Cookie Dough, or rather their corpses, being manipulated from the rafters. Meanwhile, the poor other ponies stood still in the background, except for one mare who marched slowly in place.

While the Joker danced, flashing strobe lights filled the room along with the disco ball. Dash was sure this gave some ponies at home seizures.

The music slowed, and Joker pointed towards Cookie Dough's corpse/meat-puppet. She bounded slightly side to side, and spun. You could hear the puppeteer offscreen struggling to move the filly gracefully. The Joker payed it no mind, clapping about at Cookie Dough's (corpse's) pathetic dancing. "Oh I do love interprative dance!" he chuckled.

He went up to Cookie, and despite her smaller size, started to tango with her. This ended when the pony in the rafters dropped the controls on the Joker's head. "Sorry!" the pony called.

"You're not supposed to talk!" the Joker screamed, almost angrily, though still smiling. He bent down, ripped off Cookie Dough's foreleg, and threw it at the rafters. He started walking to the ponies, and several feet behind him, you could see a stallion fall off the rafter, and promptly explode. The Joker quickly spun back to the poor... chunks of a stallion, his eyebrow raised. "When... When did I strap explosives to him?" he mused almost serious, though a smirk betrayed his true emotion. He finally just shrugged. "Oh well. I should just be glad her arm came off so easily after so little decomposition, or the joke might have been ruined!" He chuckled.

"Well, anyways. Time to get to the demands, eh, buddy?" He tapped Rising's corpse. In response, the corpse's head rolled off its shoulders with a thud. The Joker stared at it, mouth agape. "Well, at least I have a new bowling ball now." He chuckled. "I'll be back..."

The screen cut to a pony with a vacuum cleaner through in its chest cavaty and a nozzle coming out its mouth. The caption read "Life sucks..." In the background was elevator music.

Soon, the page changed back to the torture-chamber/dancefloor, on the mare who had chuckled before. "The Joker demands that the Royal Sisters comes on TV. Celestia dressed in gothwear, Luna wearing a bag on her head. At this point My Little Pony, as sung by the Mane Six, should play in the background as Luna saws off Celestia's horn on camera. The Joker further demands that a linguist be present to name the new creature; there are pegacorns, alicorns, and nilicorns, but there are no earth pony/pegasi mixes. We demand this name has the letter 'X' in it, for better recognition of the letter." The mare giggled. "E veryday that this doesn't happen, ponies will die. If this does happen, the Joker will not kill anymore innocent ponies." She paused. "The Joker also demands that everyone present at the show wear clown shoes."

And the program ended. Dash didn't know what to make of it. Besides the obvious... She would think about it later. She had a friend to comfort. She could move now anyways. She just hoped she could stop shaking.

Author's Note

I think I pushed the limits of T...